A/N Spoilers for A New Hope... I guess.
A/N 2 Sorry for the delay. No excuse would suffice so please accept my humble apology. Likewise I must apologize for the shortness of this episode. I had to peck away at it over several days do to schedule, and I simply don't want to go a year without an update. Having said that the next update probably won't be til sometime in March. Apologies in advance.
A/N 3 I'm not a hardcore Star Wars fan and I didn't want to watch it again just to take notes. I'll admit this chapter is not all it could have been, but I give anyone free reign to rewrite this idea for themselves. You can even post it on your account if you wish, I don't even need credit since this idea was pitched to me. Having said all of that, please enjoy.
~~BGS
Rule 7: Kōtarō-san is Banned from Movie Night
Ai-chan awoke slowly from her vivid dream with Father Christmas, feeling some disorientation about what was and wasn't reality. Lily was apparently the first one awake, for once. Most of the other girls stirring much slower, and Junko still seemingly lost in a peaceful rest, a slight smile played out on her pale lips.
"Santa-san was here!" Lily fairly well shrieked with a child's matchless amazement. "He ate some food, but left some and brought presents and... and..." She kept going but Ai was focusing on waking up just now, the dream already fogging up in her memory. Tae was sniffing around the food display and oddly not attacking it as would be expected, but following some invisible clue from it to the entrance door and back again. Strange behavior even for the already enigmatic zombie. Yugiri came awake as instantly and silently as ever, a curious expression on her face. Saki looked bedraggled and couldn't stop yawning. Sakura was apparently already up and moving around. That just left Kōtarō, and Ai didn't care where or what he was up to this Christmas morning.
"Shrimpy, put a sock in it til I get some coffee, aight'?" Saki grumbled, shifting her messy bangs from one side of her face to the other, and accomplishing nothing in the process. Ai started to say something snappy, but Junko started stirring awake around just then.
"Ai-chan." Junko stretched and yawned, discovering the gift Santa had left in the night on her bedroll. "Y-you got me a gift? Th-thank you." Junko blushed cutely. She gave an unexpected display of affection, offering Ai a warm hug. Ai awkwardly returned the embrace, her mind still attempting to focus.
"You're... welcome." Ai mumbled as the last bits of her dream faded away, despite her mind clutching feebly at it. Any chances of reclaiming the memory were blasted away by Kōtarō's inane yelling from a different room in the mansion.
"SAKI, what did you do NOW!?"
"Proof or it didn't happen." Saki mumbled on instinct, slightly more alert now. She had been accused of a lot, and yelled at a lot, and denied or otherwise avoided implications about a lot of things. A strange association but Saki felt a little more normal being yelled at first thing this morning.
"WHO bought this?" The manic producer gestured wildly at a brand new TV set, as if the girls couldn't discern the obvious addition to the common room for themselves. "Didn't anyone learn anything from Saki and the eBay incident?"
"eBay incident?" Ai echoed in confusion. "Hey, what is that rule about anyw-"
"Nothing! Not important! Mind your business!" Saki interrupted, trading off glares with Kōtarō and Ai, daring one of them to say something else about it.
"Santa brought it! Its a Christmas miracle!" Lilly chimed in.
"I, for one, can attest that Santa-han blessed our abode while we were found at rest." Yugiri added, somewhat diffusing the tension.
"Santa?" Kōtarō scoffed. "And he left nothing for the least-naughty person in the house? Unlikely."
"Lilly?" Yugiri asked.
"Sakura?" Ai suggested.
"He meant the dog." Saki corrected them sagely.
"IDIOTS! I MEANT- AAARRGGHH! Never mind!" He shook his head and stormed out of the room.
"You know what this means, right?" Saki looked from one girl to the next, a devilish smile on her lips.
"Kōtarō-han will be in disfavor for the rest of the-"
"Movie night!" Saki interrupted Yugiri. "It means we get to have a movie night tonight. But what do we want to watch?"
"Anime." Junko suggested, joining the conversation.
"A scary movie." Ai voted.
"Yeah. Something with lots of blood-"
"NO!" Junko and Lilly shouted at the same time.
"I'm also one to avoid blood when possible." Yugiri added. "If we are speaking of storytelling, perhaps something with love?"
"No way. Not unless it also has some action." Saki conceded.
"Something fantastic, maybe?" Junko added quietly.
"And love." Yugiri insisted.
"Also funny characters." Lilly input.
"I think I have just the thing for everyone." Ai smiled, much to everyone's doubtful expressions.
X X X Later That Night X X X
"Is this oracle similar to the other we petitioned recently?" Yugiri wondered. "Two oracles in one home. What an age of wonder to live in." Yugiri had the middle of the couch, with Lilly laying on her lap. Junko and Ai sat to her left side, Ai trying to avoid Junko's sideways glances at her. Sakura had the right side of the couch. Saki sat on the floor between Sakura and Yugiri, and Tae was draped over the back of the furniture.
The movie Ai had chosen was Star Wars: A New Hope, for meeting most of the group's criteria, as well as being a known film that threaded the majority of the girls known timelines. It had gone mostly well, as group events went in the house. Yugiri had some grasp of plays and costumes and such, and once the comparison was made she seemed content with the explanation.
"Vadar is the daddy!" Kōtarō crowed, materializing behind the couch and making Junko nearly jump into Ai's lap. "Hmhm! Mock me now, why don't you?"
"Which one is Vadar-han again?" Yugiri asked in confusion.
"Everyone knows that already." Lilly rolled her eyes at Kōtarō.
"Did Han straight-up murder that dude?" Saki wondered.
"I didn't know that." Junko said quietly. She had never had the chance to see the movie, or most movies in fact, between performances and tours and training.
"What the hell, Kōtarō?" Ai was ready to climb over the couch and choke him, but he had already danced away to the safety another part of the house. In the confusion someone had spilled the popcorn all over the floor, which Tae and Romero were busy fighting over. "That asshole..."
"Maybe if we slather him in ketchup Tae-chan will eat him." Saki suggested, half seriously by her tone.
"I saw a man get eaten once. It was not a pleasant experience." Yugiri intoned while caressing Junko's hair comfortingly.
"We're not going to talk about that... or that." Ai replied. "But we will teach him a lesson. Oh yes, everyone hates a dirty spoiler. Even Kōtarō..."
"But the bear creature is a yokai, yes?" Yugiri asked.
"Okay, first we finish the movie, then some explanations, then revenge." Ai amended.
"Why does everything in our group always escalate?" Sakura asked, but then the movie was started again.
X X X
"So, how does this nerd machine help us get back at Shades?" Saki asked, leaning over Ai's shoulder to stare at the screen.
"This shouldn't take much detective work." Ai replied, deftly running her fingers over the keyboard. "Kōtarō doesn't strike me as someone who clears their- aha. His greatest weakness is right here in his search history." Ai smiled evilly as Saki just squinted in confusion. The screen was filled with links to a certain TV show discussion. A TV show who's forums Kōtarō apparently frequented.
Later that day the mysterious producer sat down at the same computer, prepared to unwind and web surf a bit. Maybe check for mentions of Franchouchou, then hit the forums a bit before the girls came back from... wherever. Come to think of it, he hadn't seen much of them since the evening before. He chuckled to himself at the memory. He kinda hoped they would watch other popular movies, so he could get them again. In was in this state of mind that he found himself grabbed from behind, and quickly secured to the chair with ripped sheets.
"So, this is how you repay the mysterious producer who gave you life, and fame and purpose." Kōtarō shook his had sadly as he was spun around to face his captors, Ai, Saki and Yugiri. "if you are going to kill me, do it fast. I won't tell you anything though." He smiled defiantly.
"We're not going to kill you." Ai replied angrily.
"I've thought about it." Saki admitted. "I was going to use ketchup."
"This isn't an interrogation. What would we possibly question you about anyway?" Ai demanded, ignoring Saki's interjection.
"Yeah." Saki grinned gleefully. "Its a hostage situation."
Kōtarō paused, mentally changing gears. "Well than. The demands?" His confident smile returned. They weren't going to actually do anything, and he could wait out this ridiculous charade.
"We want you to never appear at our movie nights again." Ai replied. "And apologize to Junko."
"Or?" His smile widened. "Franchouchou will go on strike? You'll run away again? Do your worst to me, Jeune Saga."
"Or, I'll tell you every single leaked spoiler about your favorite show, starting with the identity of the real father..."
"Stop! Stop! I accept your demands! You wicked, ungrateful, DEMON GIRL!"
"That'll do." Ai smiled. Saki nodded her agreement.
"Our honor is satisfied." Yugiri added.
And true to his word, the producer never did spoil another movie for the girls. however he did get back at Ai-chan for orchestrating his humiliation, kind of. But that's the story of a different rule.
["Junko here. I can't believe Ai-chan got me a gift! If I had know I would have got her something too. Do you think this means maybe... Ehehe, never mind about that. Forget I said anything, okay? Next time on Zombie Land Saga: Ai-chan may not perform spirited but insulting impersonations of mysterious producer Kōtarō Tatsumi during morning meetings. Wew! That was a long one. Bye-bye."]