The coup had had been swift and brutal, like any other Ssi-Ruuvi matter in those days.

Following constant failures in expanding our Imperium, coupled with growing dissent in regards to the doctrines of our core religion, the ruling noble and religious castes were overthrown and ousted in their entirety. The majority of them had fled or been exiled, though a good many were outright executed.

When I think on that, I sometimes feel lucky that me and my brother had been born into the winning caste.

However, while Lwhekk had been freed from centuries of fanatical tyranny, we were left with no clue as to what to do next. There were discussions for brokering peace with other worlds, while a fair many just wanted to stay at home and rebuild in the wake of what happened.

At that time, the idea of a democratic age for our people left many bewildered, uncertain. This funnily enough made for an unsteady peace among the remaining castes. But it wasn't bound to last when the shock of it all inevitably wore off.

How amazingly fortunate that an opportunity presented itself only a week after the coup, in a way no one could have possibly imagined.

The day that He showed up…

That's when things truly changed.

Steve Warz

Episode [Unity]:

The Search Begins

The galaxy had just been through Hell. It had been ravaged by the fearsome, merciless Financer. The Great Devastator, as the citizens of the Republic came to remember him as, had nearly succeeded where the Contractor had always failed: the complete unraveling and destruction of everything. But, in a miraculous turnaround, the galaxy was spared a fate of oblivion, though at great cost: The sacrifice of the galaxy's most famed Jawa, Squishy. However, this hadn't dampened the celebratory spirit of the restored Republic and citizen, which have gone on living months after that fateful event. Everyone was very content with having everything back to normal.

But one of them wasn't…

Sylvia Ssi-Ruuk, wife of the dearly departed Squishy, had survived creation's end and lost her soulmate in the process. Following a final promise made with her beloved, Sylvia had been going to one spot day after day for hours at a time: The place where the two first met. For months she had returned to that spot and waited the same number of hours every day, hoping to see her husband come around the bend. But Squishy had yet to reappear, and Sylvia's hope was slowly beginning to wane. Her sad devotion had begun to worry the Jedi and her family. Unless something happens soon, she may end up a lost soul in love's twisted design, cast adrift in a sea of sorrow. Inconsolable, forevermore...

(Waves. Sand. We're on a beach before a vast ocean. The only things on the beach are a lone boulder and an odd lanky red-scaled reptilian: Sylvia Ssi-Ruuk. She stands by the rock, staring out at the great ocean, cast in magnificent orange by the setting sun. She remains silent as she continues to look out to the waters, before dropping her head and sighing)

Sylvia: (In thoughts) Nothing. Just like yesterday, and every other day. Where are you? Why haven't you come back? You said this spot, but it's been so long. What is it that's keeping you? Or are you truly… No, I can't think like that. But, each day it gets harder to believe. I just don't know…

(Dejected, she turns away from the water and walks slowly up the beach. At the far end of it, by a small motorboat, is whale mech Duff McWhalan and his right-hand Launch Octopus. They spot Sylvia approaching)

Launch: She's coming back alone again.

Duff: (Sighs) I thought as much…

Launch: How many months has it been since she started coming here?

Duff: Close to four, my friend. She has been holding steady to that hope of his return, much as the sailor's widow holding a vigil. I doubt he'll come back at this point, to be frank, and based on the fatigue being etched on her face following each day, it seems she's coming to that same conclusion.

Launch: Ah, but it can't be completely hopeless. Weird stuff has always happened around here. Hey, even how we got here was pretty weird.

Duff: That I agree with, Octopardo. There just may still be a chance that he will return, though a very slim one.

Launch: Well, slim is better than none.

Duff: I suppose. (Sylvia reaches them. Duff gets formal) Evening, ma'am.

Sylvia: Just get me back to port.

Duff: Of course.

(Some time later, we turn to a landing pad atop a floating city. Sylvia is walking across it, and coming from a nearby shuttle to greet her is another red-scaled Ssi-Ruuk: her brother Steezy)

Steezy: Hey sis. No luck?

Sylvia: (Sighs) No luck…

Steezy: Too bad. But there's still tomorrow. C'mon, let's get back home.

Sylvia: Yeah…

(Later we see the two on a ship slowly moving through space. Steezy is piloting and Sylvia is in the passenger seat, looking depressed)

Steezy: You know, sis, you've been lookin' pretty down lately.

Sylvia: I'm just tired.

Steezy: No, that's not it. These past few weeks, you've been sleeping most of the day before heading out. What's bothering you?

Sylvia: It's nothing…

Steezy: Not buying it. Something's on your mind. It's Squishy, isn't it?

Sylvia: I'm always thinking about Squishy. That's why I keep coming out here.

Steezy: There's something more to that. Been having doubts?

Sylvia: What?

Steezy: Are you starting to think he's not coming back?

Sylvia: Don't say that! But... yeah. I'm starting to wonder… But I have to keep checking. I promised.

Steezy: Sis, this isn't healthy for you. You can't keep coming out here thinking there will be something there, but finding nothing. It's starting to wear you down.

Sylvia: What do you know? You don't know what it's like to lose someone special to you.

Steezy: I know more than you think. Squishy was like a brother to me. I'm feeling the same as you are.

Sylvia: No you're not! You weren't there, Steezy! You weren't there holding his hand, crying, begging him not to do it. You know nothing about what I've seen and been through!

Steezy: Now you're being unfair. I was held up with being dead, remember? But if I was there, I'd be backing you up and totally begging all the same.

Sylvia: But you weren't! And because of that, this is strictly my concern and no one else's. He said he would return there, and I'll keep going back again and again. I'm the one he expects to see him come back home.

Steezy: That's not it—

Sylvia: What did you say?

Steezy: That can't be his one way of coming back. He probably made you make that promise to calm you down. You must have been all hysterical and he wanted you to cool off before… he did what he had to do.

Sylvia: How could you say such a thing? He'd never do something like that just to calm me down! What kind of person do you take me for?

Steezy: The kind who needs some sense talked into her! (They both go silent, glaring out the viewport and not looking at each other. After a bit, Steezy lets out a breath) I'm sorry, Sylvia. I just want to help you, like any brother would.

Sylvia: Whatever…

(After some more uncomfortable silence)

Steezy: Look at it this way: How would Squishy think of you right now? You two have been together for several years. By now he knows that you're strong, friendly, very protective of your family, and level-headed, although you tend to get emotional in the heat of the moment—

Sylvia: You're one to talk.

Steezy: Exactly, because we're brother and sister. Anyway, he should also know that you're someone who goes in and takes action when it's called for. Do you honestly believe he would just expect you to sit back and do nothing this whole time, never trying anything to get him back?

Sylvia: …

Steezy: Just think about it for a bit. You might figure something out. You know I care a lot about you. The rest of us do. I just don't want to see you become some shadow of the kind of person you really are.

Sylvia:...Yeah…

Steezy: We're all a little stressed here. How bout we stop at Home One for the night? Head for a home tomorrow.

Sylvia: Sure…

Steezy: Alright. I'll just change course and we'll be set.

(Sometime later. On board Home One, we see Sylvia looking out a large corridor window. She looks reflectively out over the wide field of the celestial spectrum, Steezy's words echoing through her head)

How would Squishy think of you right now?

Do you honestly believe he would just expect you to sit back and do nothing this whole time, never trying anything to get him back?

(She stands there a bit longer. Then she closes her claws and walks off. After a while we turn to an office. At the back of it is a tidy wooden desk with the placard "Head Technical Officer" on top of it. Behind the desk, someone is rummaging around some boxes. A person's shadow appears over the desk)

Tech Off: No time to be bothered right now. I'm busy looking for the General's "Massage" devices that he left in here, before they stink up the place. (The Mon Cal looks up at the person) Oh, Ms. Sylvia. This is certainly a surprise. What brings you to my humble, if cramped office?

Sylvia: I want all the data, observations, anything you got about that one wormhole from four years ago.

Tech Off: What for? I find it odd you would want something like that. Also, it's pretty restricted information. I don't think it would be a good idea to—

Sylvia: NOW!

Tech. Off: Waah! (Falls into the boxes with a crash)

And thus, Sylvia's plan was put into motion. However, its setup would have intrigued and confounded her fellow Jedi and immediate family, thus it was done in utmost secrecy. On the day of its unveiling, the true depths of trust between everyone would be put to the test. Whether they would hold or break… We shall see.

(The middle of space. There is a lone, small space platform. Onboard in a large room the walls are lined with monitors and immense CPU banks. Technicians run about the place helter-skelter as though preparing for something. In the cleared center of the room is a large device on the floor. Nearby, Sylvia and the Tech. Officer are chatting)

Sylvia: How's everything?

Tech. Off: The calibrations are all set. We're right where the hole was.

Sylvia: As for opening it?

Tech. Off: After all the calculations and hours of work put into this latest endeavor, we should be able to create a good-sized dimensional tear.

Sylvia: Excellent.

(Suddenly the other Jedi and the three Jaa-Ruuk siblings barge in, followed by Steezy)

Jo: Sylvia, just what the heck are you up to? Overseeing some kind of space project without approval from the Jedi Council, i.e. the rest of us? Usually that's grounds for apprehension or exile, but frankly I'm curious.

Anna: As are the rest of us, so spill the beans, will ya?

Stan: Yeah Mom, what's going on?

Sylvia: I'm simply following your uncle's advice, is all.

Steezy: My what?

Sylvia: Remember? I shouldn't be sitting around; gotta try something? Well I'm definitely trying something right now.

Cope: And what pray tell is that?

Sylvia: I'm going to go after Squishy myself.

All: Say what!?

Rick: Mother you can't be serious!

Steezy: I don't remember telling you to do anything like that!

Sylvia: You didn't, but I'm doing it regardless.

Anna: But how? Squishy just vanished: that's exactly how you put it!

Will: Yeah, so how are you gonna find someone that just up and vanished?

Sylvia: Simple: I vanish after him.

Sally: Huh?

Sara: I don't follow.

Sylvia: You remember how all those years ago me and Squishy went through that wormhole, and how sometime later we got those shoes from the Sonic universe? Thanks to the help of the Admiral's head technician, we might be able to open a hole big enough for me to go through. If Squishy's alive, he's bound to be somewhere on the other side.

Cope: And how are you sure of his being there?

Sylvia: I'm not, but it's as close to "the other side" that I can think of. And it certainly beats waiting.

Anna: Madness, I say.

Sara: Who'll come with you?

Sylvia: No one; it'll just be me.

All: Wha!?

Jo: Double Madness!

Anna: Indubitably my good Joseph!

Steezy: What's come over you, sis!?

Rick: Why alone?

Sylvia: Please understand. For the past several months, you had to put up with me moping around and being all moody, worrying for me all the while. And while I appreciate the efforts you made in getting me out of that funk, this is a problem of mine that I intend to fix by myself. I don't want to burden you with even more of my troubles.

Steezy: No way, sis! You're not going alone on this. I'm coming with you.

Sylvia: No, Steezy. I've already lost you once before, and I don't want to lose you as a result of my doing. I just couldn't live with myself if that happened.

Jo: Then let us come along. With all the crap we've dealt with over the years, we're the most qualified to handle whatever's waiting.

Sylvia: No, Jo, I just said—

Will: That's not good enough. I'll go regardless of what you think you feel about it. Guilt and regret has a way of making you do dumb things. Plus, that was a total dick move you and Squishy pulled in ditching us the last time, so consider this recompense.

Sylvia: But Will—

Sara: I can't very well let my mountain man of a hubby go without me looking out for him.

Anna: And if my fellow battlesister's going, then count me in as well!

Cope: As this will no doubt be a majority ruling decision, I'll tag along regrettably as well, while also praying for a shift to a more traditional imperialistic way of governance.

Jo: In that case, my ravishing good looks will make me the Jedi King, and I'll still say we're all going.

Cope: Curses…

Stan: And we're coming too, Mom.

Sally: Yeah!

Sylvia: No. Kids—

Rick: He's our father. We miss him a lot, as well.

Stan: You being depressed is as much our problem as yours. So we're gonna back you up and get Dad back here much quicker.

Sally: And it's like I always say: Lizards of a scale will always wail... on others.

Stan: Man, you stink at making up sayings.

Sally: Bite me, bro.

Anna: So whaddya say, Sylvy?

Jo: We're coming no matter what, so you best accept us and make it easier.

(Pause, then)

Sylvia: You guys… (Smiles warmly) It definitely wouldn't be right doing it a second time to all of you. Alright, let's go together.

Steezy: Sweet! High adventure for everyone!

Sylvia: Sorry, but you still aren't coming.

Steezy: (Caught off guard) Huuuh!?

Jo: Yeah man. Things are bound to be dangerous wherever we're going, and you don't have Force powers.

Will: You'd just slow us down.

Steezy: What?! No I wouldn't! I held my own against the Financer, you know!

Cope: And look where that landed you.

Steezy: Man, you guys are hecka unfair! Way uncool!

Jo: Just hold the fort down for us while we're gone.

Sally: Yeah uncle Steezy. We'll come back in a jiffy, so don't worry.

Steezy: Oh, fine. But I'll hold you all to that.

Tech. Off: Uh, Lady Sylvia? The station has stored up enough power. We're ready to attempt rift formation when you give the word.

Sylvia: Go ahead. I'm ready.

Jo: We're all ready.

Stan: Kupblah!

Tech. Off: Okay… I still have some doubts, but nothing ventured nothing gained. (Puts on a custom welder's mask and grabs a wall lever) Commencing Activation!

(Throws the switch. There are machine startup noises that start deafening the room. The lights begin dimming and the place starts shaking. The shaking steadily gets more intense)

Tech. Off: Steady… Steady…

(After more shaking, everything abruptly becomes still again as a 7 foot-wide portal of shimmering white light blasts into appearance in the middle of the room)

Tech. Off: (Tossing off mask) Eureka! We've done it! We've made an actual transdimensional portal! Ha HAA! Oh, just imagine all the leaps in scientific inquiry and exploration we can achieve with this success!

Jo: Blow this thing to shreds when we go through. This galaxy is weird enough as it is, and I don't want anything else messed up coming here.

Tech. Off: Huh? Are you mad? After all this work and you expect me to destroy this miraculous piece of hardware?!

Anna: Not just that: Everything you've got written down about it. We gotta consider the loonies in our galaxy getting hold of this kind of tech as well.

Tech. Off: (Sighs defeatedly) I suppose. It's not really my place to question the wisdom of you particular Jedi. But if I may ask, how will you come back if I close the portal?

Will: (Smirks) We'll find a way.

Jo: If Squishy and Sylvia were able to get back here no problem once before, it should be no thang.

Sylvia: Well, there was a bit more to it, but… (shrug) Eh.

Sally: Just believe! (Idol pose)

Tech. Off: (Nods) Very well, you have my word. Though, it's still a mighty shame to just—

Anna: Great to hear, buddy pal. (Turns to Sylvia) You ready to do this, Sylvia?

Sylvia: (Firm nod) Yes. Let's go.

(The Jedi walk up before the portal)

Steezy: You stay alive out there, capiche?

Anna: That's my word!

Sara: We'll be fine.

Rick: Count on it.

(Sylvia steps forward from the group to stand before the portal. She studies it a bit)

Sylvia: So… This is it. It's now or never.

Jo: You sure you're up for this? There's no coming back. Right away, at least.

Sylvia:…No hesitations. I'm coming for you... Squishy.

Sally: Yahoo! Let's do this!

Cope: Save the exuberance for later.

(Sylvia steps into the portal, then is followed by the others before the whole screen flares into white, then goes completely black)

(~Hikari-Kingdom Orchestra Instrumental~)

Thinking of you wherever you are.

We pray for our sorrow to end,

And hope that our hearts will blend.

Now I will step forward to realize

This wish.

And who knows:

Starting a new journey may not be so hard

Or maybe it has already begun.

There are many worlds,

But they share the same sky:

One sky, One destiny.

And along the way,

I'll shape my own story.

One that I will share with,

Just for you…

COSMIC

HEARTS

The Red Waltz of

Reunion

- An SJ & W

Envisioning®

Verse 1

The Beginning

— It was a typically foggy, overcast day. However, something was amiss in the sky. An omen?

(They're falling fast and screaming. They flop through the air trying to slow their descent, but only look silly doing it. Not helped by the fact they look to be rendered in 16 bit graphics. Eventually they hit the hard earth one at a time in a messy dog pile. After a moment they start groaning)

Will: Ooowww… My back…

Jo: What, just happened?

Cope: (Muffled) Jo, why is my face crammed into your hairy chest?

Anna: Whose hand is in mine?!

Rick: Sorry.

Anna: That was yours? Dang, how do you get them so soft?

Stan: Oh agony…

Sara: Ditto.

(Sylvia yanks herself out)

Sylvia: Alright, if everyone's conscious, let's start looking.

Cope: (Muffled) How the heck do you expect us to move around after falling 1000 feet onto solid ground?

Sylvia: You're still able to whine about it, so it was clearly nothing. Now everyone up!

(The pile untangles itself and gets up, dusting themselves off. Cope yanks a fist of hair out of his mouth)

Jo: I want that back, Alex.

Sally: Where are we?

Stan: It's definitely not Coruscant, that's for sure. (Notices his claw being a collection of blocky colored squares) Holy crap, I'm pixelated!

(Everyone else notices the same about themselves and react accordingly)

Jo: Oh maaaan, we're in some outdated video game?

Will: Smooth rendering, no stuttering framerate. Old-school definitely, but at least it's not Intellivision grade.

Sara: A videogame, huh? Sounds about right for Squishy.

Cope: Without any doubt.

Rick: The question is, which game?

(They look around to see themselves surrounded by a semi-ring of houses. The air is thick with fog)

Will: What sort of town is this? It's all spooky.

Sylvia: Don't tell me I'm in RE4 again.

Cope: No. Wait… The taste's different. (Bends down to pick up a handful of dirt. He throws it into his mouth and chews it a bit before spitting it out) Much better.

Jo: What was that about?

Cope: Your sweaty musk was still on my tongue! Also, the soil is simplistic, with a slight hint of Mode 7.

Jo: Mode 7… That's what's used on the Super Nintendo.

Sylvia: This place does look similar to FFVI, but I don't remember it ever being this foggy, or the colors looking so different.

Cope: (Realization) Oh fudge. I think I know where we are…

(The camera rises through the sky and looks down to show a pixelated world map)

Cope: We're in Chrono Trigger©.

Jo: Say where?!

Cope: Yes, there's not mistake. 600 AD… in Guardia.

Rick: I'm sorry, I'm not really following. You can tell the timeline just by tasting dirt?

Cope: (Surprised) You really don't recognize this place? And you call yourself Squishy's son? (Phews) Thank God; you take more after your mother.

Anna: So now that we've established where the funk we are, what's next?

Sally: We find Dad, of course!

Stan: But where do we start? I mean, Chrono Trigger's an RPG, right? Those have lots of places.

Will: We should ask around. He might've come through here.

Cope: Undoubtedly; this is early game, after all. The tavern should be the best place for info. Follow along; I know this place by heart.

(On the world map, small renderings of them move around the town and into a building. Within, the Jedi find the place filled with lots of patrons in medieval wear. The atmosphere is noisy with a pinch of merry)

Sally: Who do we speak with first?

Cope: Let me handle this. I know exactly how to address these kinds of people. (Steps forward and sticks out arms) Attention local drunk peasants! Me and my far more sophisticated associates are looking for a short, annoying, obnoxious dwarf in a brown robe. He has a tendency to talk way too much about utterly inane nonsense as well as violate the very spirit of decency itself. (Gets jabbed in ribs by Jo) Quof! Anyways, (Cough), he goes by the name of Squishy. If he happens to pass by, tell him that he's long overdue for a slapping from Mr. Alex. However, if you have any information pertaining to his whereabouts or whether he's passed by here recently, please divulge thy innards to save yourself much agonizing torment at the hands of my lovely associate Anna, who is a certified sadist.

Anna: And working toward a PhD!

Drunk 1: He-Hey! I don't take kindly to being called drunk! Hiccup! (Hits floor)

Drunk 2: Who do ya think ye's are!?

Drunk 3: Yeah! You ain't no king, cuz ours is in that castle over yonder, so sod off!

Sara: I don't think that worked, Alex.

Rick: Probably not the smartest thing to insult the locals as your opening.

Cope: It's the most effective way to get their attention over this rabble. You know not the finer qualities of the Speech tree!

(A drunk stumbles over to Sally)

Drunk 4: Hey, you sure are a funny lookin' horse.

Sally: I'm not a horse!

Drunk 4: You know, horses mold me rod in the right direction. Hu Hu Hu.

Sally: What?

Drunk 4: Get over here, you equine goddess!

(He lunges for her with arms out. Sally reaches around her and pulls Stan about so that he intercepts the heathen's kiss. After a sec there's a wet chomp and the drunk runs off with a fountain of blood shooting out his mouth. Stan spits out a tongue and spits some more)

Drunk 4: AAAAAAAHH! I AY! I AAAAAAAAYYY!

Drunk 2: Blimey! Those struedels's's horses are rabid!

Drunk 3: RUN AWAY!

Drunk 5: RUN AWAAAY!

(The whole place shudders as patrons stampede out the exit. The last one to leave is a naked man with a live chicken sticking out of his rear. All becomes quiet, with the Jedi just standing around awkwardly)

Rick:...What the h**l was that about?

Stan: Ah dude, that guy tried to French me!

Cope: Well thanks a lot: you just scared the whole village s**tless.

Stan: Sally was the one who put me in the way!

Sally: It was self-defense! He wanted to steal my purity!

Cope: You're anything but pure!

Sally: Whoa hey hold up what did you just say?

Rick: Are you implying something, Alex?

Cope: Just her very existence should make it obvious enough!

Sally: Oh you just didn't—

Sylvia: ENOUGH! (Quiet) Just stop it! Why are you even fighting? What good is it doing us? We're supposed to be teammates, friends here!

Cope: But that son of yours—

Sylvia: I don't want to hear any more of it! It's your special trait to complain and blame others for our problems but I'm seriously not going to tolerate it RIGHT HERE!

Stan: Whoa, Mom, take it easy—

Sylvia: Take it easy? You're bickering like you've just hatched when we're supposed to be looking for your father!

Jo: He's right though, Sylvia, you should calm—

Sylvia: It's too early for all of us to be going at each other's necks, and I'm not gonna stand for it! Not while Squishy's out there! If he's out there! (Deflates) Alex, you keep going on about how annoying Squishy is, and to some extent I can agree with you. But he's a member of this group, and a big part of all our lives, not just mine. If he was here then we wouldn't have to deal with this place, but he's not, and you all decided to come along. Seeing how you're getting along, I should've made you stay behind. I should've gone alone.

Sara: Don't go saying that—

Sylvia: Why is this even happening? All of you fighting, going nowhere. After dealing with the Financer, I thought you would all know better. Especially you, Sally. (Sighs deeply) I just want to find him. Get him back. Stop the useless worrying and waiting and get on with my life!

(Begins to tear up. The guys all look ashamed)

Sara: (Comforting Sylvia) Hey, it's alright, Sylvia. There's no more arguing.

Anna: Yeah, it's all good.

Sylvia: Just… so frustrating. And we've barely even started…

(After more uncomfortable silence)

Stan: Mom, you're right. Us arguing is just stupid, and I'm sorry.

Sally: Me too. It's just, Alex being Alex, you know?

Cope: I have to say that's a fair statement to say in this case, as I… was a bit excessive with my insults, and in making certain inferences about Sally.

Sally: Just watch what you say. I just might have to pull you outside next time.

Cope: Understood.

Jo: Feeling better now, Sylvia?

Sylvia: (Calming breath)…. I'm fine. But, seeing how we learned nothing here, I suppose we need to look somewhere else for clues.

Cope: Guardia Castle is to the west. Squishy may have gone there.

Anna: Alright! Teamwork is back on track!

Will: We best head out.

Sylvia: Sure. Let's go. (To self) Just a brief snag, but bear with us, Squishy.

(They begin to leave)

?: Hmmm…. Interesting. Fits the description perfectly. (The group stops) Passionate, strong-willed, gets emotional when stressed.

Sylvia: Huh?

(They turn around. Alone sitting against the bar holding a mug is a patron with a swanky hat)

Patron: Fiery red scales, and claws of the finest sheen… Exactly like he said.

Sara: Who are you?

Patron: Me? The name's Toma, little lady.

Cope: Toma? The explorer?

Toma: That's my calling, yeah. And no doubt you're Copeland: Tall, easily annoyed, overly serious, insecure.

Cope: Insecure about what?!

Toma: Heh, and looking at you three in the back, there's no question that you're the kids. He wasn't kidding when he said you were different, but sheesh, who would've believed it?

Rick: "Who" wasn't kidding?

Cope: Hey, you didn't answer my question! Where do you get ideas about me being insecure, huh!?

Anna: Chill, Alex, chill.

Toma: And of course there's Anna, holding Alex's leash and keeping him in check.

Cope: (Agitated) What!?

Jo: Uh, sir, who are you exactly? How do you know these guys?

Toma: Ah, Jo, the leader with the amazing haircut. Staying on track when the need arises. Well, I already answered your first question earlier, and for the second, I was told about all of you.

Will: By who?

Toma: It should be pretty obvious, seeing how he's the one you're anxiously looking for.

Jedi: Squishy!?

Sylvia: Squishy was here?

Toma: Yep. One week ago today.

Sally: Rats! Missed him.

Anna: A week? But he's been gone for months!

Toma: Months, huh? He said he found himself here two days before meeting me; most of that time was spent getting money from hunts. He pulled in a pretty good haul in so little time, too.

Stan: Where is he? Did you do anything to him?

Toma: Calm down, slick. I did nothing to him. All I did was lend an ear for a spell. And what a spell that was.

Jo: What did he tell you, exactly?

Toma: Well, as I recall, he first wanted to explain why he was here. He said he'd have to start from the beginning, and I said "Sure. Go on ahead." So he told me his story: ALL of it.

Cope: Such as?

Toma: He told me of his home: how it was a different galaxy full of all kinds of planets and bizarre creatures. Told me about his friends, what they did for a living, all his battles he's been in, though I can't fully recall what they all involved. He spoke of his darling wife, his kids, how people thought of them, something about a Jawa Home, a Contractor, and on and on and on and on.

Anna: My God…You actually sat through one of his conversations and lived.

Toma: He was right about being the talker; kinda wish I heeded his warning. After he finished, my brain was about half-numbed to death. Everything he mentioned and explained was so foreign, so strange. I didn't fully understand 99.9% of what he said, but the way he said it made it make sense. So originally I didn't believe him. I though he was either an utter loon or one h**l of a storyteller. But seeing you, his friends, in the flesh, he might have been telling the truth about there being another galaxy. I may be sitting on quite the scientific discovery: One that people might actually pay to know more about.

Sylvia: What else did he say?

Toma: Oh, right. After his story, he had some drinks—no doubt parched, the little guy—then told me how he was looking for a way home, and that he might actually know a spot to do just that.

Sally: Really? Where?

Toma: He kept the exact details secret, funny enough, but he did say he would be heading north. Only thing up there is Truce Canyon, and I don't recall anything special up there.

Cope: Hold up… Of course. It would make perfect sense for him to go there.

Stan: Why?

Cope: I'll explain later. We better get going.

Jo: He tell you anything else, Toma?

Toma: Nope. After finishing his drinks, he just upped and left. And I hadn't had time to dwell much over what he said, with what followed shortly after.

Anna: Which was...?

Toma: Strange things have been happening lately. The townsfolk have been getting drunk and rowdy. Nothing like their usual polite, sober selves.

Cope: Come to think of it, those villagers were acting far differently then when I first saw them.

Toma: But that's not all: unusual happenings have been taking place at the castle. Just the other day, that frog-man Glenn was running around buck-naked screaming about him being groped by Cyrus. That wasn't a pretty sight, as you can imagine.

Rick: I'd rather not.

Toma: Plus, Cyrus has been dead for years, so that makes it weirder. Yessir, it's been rather odd around here since that Squishy left.

Sara: Sure sounds like it. Anyway, you've been a great help.

Sylvia: Yes you have. I deeply appreciate you for telling us all this.

Toma: No problem. In fact, it would've done my conscience wrong if I just sat here without saying anything this whole time.

Jo: Well thanks to you, we now know where we're going. Right Alex?

Cope: Yes. Let's head out.

(They start to leave again)

Toma: Oh, and Sylvia.

Sylvia: Hm?

Toma: (Raises mug and smiles) Give Squishy my regards.

Sylvia: I'll do that. Thanks.

(They re-enter the world map and move north as "Wind Scene" plays)

Cope: It's 600 AD, alright. God, this music never gets old.

(They enter the mountains up north. Switch to an enclosed valley of rocks and trees of autumn flair. While they're walking along)

Rick: So, Alex, why exactly would out father come here?

Cope: It's quite obvious. At the back of this canyon there's a—

?: KeekeekeekeekeekeekeekeekeekeekeeKEEEEEEEEE!

(Leaping into view before the group is a single blue imp)

Will: What's with the smurf?

Imp: Ka kee ka kee ka kee! Boo wiggity, shim bah leeto cahma set holt cooooooo!

Anna: In English, Blue Balls!

Imp: KaCHEEEEEEEE!

(Three other imps come into sight, with two riding atop round green creatures)

Cope: Imp Attack!

(Chrono Trigger fight music plays as stats come up)

Sally: Cool, battle stats!

Cope: Stay alert! Just follow my instructions and we'll survive. Select Attack and jam it like crazy!

Anna: Say what!?

Cope: Take your freakin' control pad and hit the—

(Rick tosses his saber, which goes in a circle and lops the heads off every enemy. The music stops)

Rick: (Somewhat annoyed) Are we done here?

Cope:...Killjoy.

Jo: Let's go, Mr. Combat Survivalist.

Cope: Grrr…

(They move on)

Anna: Man Alex, you really need to calm down more.

Cope: I'm only worried for your sakes. None of you have experience with this game, and the enemies can be quite ruthless.

Jo: Whatever, Alex. Like some dinky little goblins can hurt us. You just need to breathe more easi—

Imp: Keekeeee!

(Another imp flies out of nowhere and latches onto Jo's head as fight music starts up again)

Jo: AHHH! What the H**l this thing is eating my hair! Get it Off Get it Off!

(More imps appear)

Rick: More of them!

Cope: I told you!

(They wade and cut their way through lots of imps for several minutes. Eventually they come into an empty clearing, a little weary for wear)

Stan: Holy crap that was a ton of blue!

Cope: There's no need to worry further about them; we've entered a no-monster zone.

Jo: Oh God! How do I look? (Whips out a mirror) Gadzooks, it's ruffled like crazy! Oh the sweet travesty of it all! Friggin' munchkins, man.

(He opens his robe to reveal lots of combs, and pulls one out to straighten his hair)

Anna: After all these years, why are you still so vain, Jo?

Jo: Since when have I been vain? (To mirror) Oooh hey, smooth operator.

(Anna sighs)

Cope: (Blustered) No, no, this isn't right. Not right at all.

Sara: What is it?

Cope: The time gate: It's not here!

Will: The what?

Cope: Time gates are used to go to various time periods in this game. There's supposed to be one right here, so naturally Squishy would head for it to progress. But there's no time gate anymore.

Jo: Then where's Squishy?

Cope: (Sighs) I don't know.

Sara: Oh no. What if those imps ate him?

Anna: I highly doubt he'd have gotten eaten by things smaller than him, and less intimidating-looking.

Sylvia: I can vouch for that.

Stan: Hey, I found something.

(At the north end of the clearing Stan pulls aside some foliage. Looking through it, the Jedi see a long straight path, slanted upwards slightly that goes for quite a distance)

Will: Secret path, huh? Did you know about this, Alex?

Cope: No. This was never in the game.

Jo: Then that's clearly a sign of where we'll be heading next.

Sally: Forward!

(They go through the opening. For some time they simply walk along the enclosed path. Eventually they step back out into the open. This time it's in an even smaller clearing, with a cliff a short distance from them)

Jo: Crap. Another dead end.

Cope: There were no forks, so this is all there is.

(They walk out further into the clearing. Jo and Will look over the cliff to see an immense drop leading into a massive fog bank. Waves can be heard)

Will: Man, that's some drop.

Rick: No sign of Dad. What now?

Stan: Go back?

Cope: He must be hiding somewhere back in the clearing. Or back in the canyon for whatever reason.

Jo: Either way, let's head back and look some more. There's probably something else that's been overlooked.

(They head back for the path when)

Sylvia: Wait!

(Sylvia goes over to a part of the clearing and bends down. She picks up a long, curly string of some kind)

Sara: What is that?

Sylvia:(Examining string)...A guitar string. Squishy was here!

Will: Then where is he?

(He slowly looks toward the cliff, as does everyone else)

Anna: No… No way. There is NO way he's down there!

Stan: Why would he want to jump off a cliff?

Cope: Maybe to get away from your sniveli— (Gets low-blowed by Rick)

Rick: It wouldn't make sense for him to do that.

Sylvia: Unless he had no other choice. If he came here looking for that time gate and found nothing, then he would look for some other way out. Alex, is there any other way out of this place, time period or whatever?

Cope: (Recovering) None that I can think of. D***it, Rick...

Sylvia: So Squishy must have found that path and decided to go off this cliff. Maybe there's a portal or something down there. This guitar string has to be a clue of some kind to let us know that he went through here.

Anna: How are you sure about that? It could be from some wandering bard who got WAY lost.

Sylvia: I cannot tell you why I'm certain. All I know is is that I have a good strong feeling he was here and went off the edge.

Sara: The feelings of the Force are hardly ever wrong, plus it's particularly accurate in us girls. Whee!

Rick: It seems to be our only option anyway.

Sally: So let's go take the plunge! For Dad!

All: Yeah!

(They walk over to the cliff. They look down again, intimidated by the deep, foggy abyss)

Stan: (Nervous) That's sure a lot of nothing down there…

Cope: Ladies first.

Jo: Alright.

(Shoves Cope off cliff with one hand. He goes flailing)

Cope: YAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaahh...! (Gone)

Jo: You care to do the honors, Sylv?

(She steps up to the edge. After some silent staring)

Sylvia: Alright… Here goes.

(She steps off the cliff and plunges through the fog. She falls faster and faster at blinding speed, until all sight and sound are enveloped in endless gray)

Nobody knew what to make of this bizarre little creature. Comes to our planet in an unarmed civilian starship by himself and, most baffling of all, wanted to discuss forming an alliance with the Galactic Republic. The same Republic our people had often invaded in the past, justifiably labeling us as dangerous to all.

He seemed genuine about the matter, though, and with our Imperium being in a shaky transitional phase, any kind of offer was welcome. If only for a brief diversion from the recent upheaval.

For being instrumental in helping the coup's success, my father had been chosen as the temporary leader of our new government, and therefore he set about assessing this strange envoy. While he was by no means a skilled politician, he handled the matter decently. In that he put the visitor through the rites of the military caste to "test his resolve". Whether as a joke or in total sincerity, I'm still not sure.

But the newcomer took to the trials without complaint, and did them with determination that even impressed someone like my father into taking his proposal seriously. He even grabbed the interest of those who saw him, as he acted very neighborly with all those he spoke with, from what I heard.

I kind of regret not being there to see for myself this peculiar diplomat that managed to steer our society into an unexpected direction.

But, I would have my chance in due time.

Verse 2

The Plunge

- The searchers have taken their first steps. The ocean glistens as though peaceful. Could it only be a ruse?

(There's a great sploosh. Copeland slowly sinks into the water with an annoyed look on his face. After a sec, Sylvia also breaks the surface, followed by the others. They reorient themselves underwater and look around. Everything is bright blue, with a smooth rock bottom and stock-still purple seaweed towers. The green stones below, as well as everything, are vibrantly colored. Only problem is, everything's in primitive 8-bit)

Sally: Ugh! Why do I look so crappy?

Stan: How are we able to talk underwater?

Jo: Even I can answer that: we're in Super Mario Bros.

Will: What? How?

Rick: Seems you were right after all, Mom. There's a whole new world at the bottom of the cliff.

Sylvia: It's odd. It took me and Squishy a whole lot longer to go to someplace new the last time.

Anna: But at least we're on the right track. Squishy definitely had to have gone through here.

Cope: Then we'll find the exit pipe and head out. Commence swimming, stage right.

(They swim right as underwater music from SMB starts playing. They swim through the retro hazards and have a few tangles with the various bloopers and cheep-cheeps. One hour later they stop before a green pipe in a rock wall)

Stan: (Pant, pant, pant) So much swimming…

Sally: I'll never try calamari, ever!

Cope: Enough of the griping. The exit's right there.

Jo: Then shut up and swim in it already!

(They enter the pipe. Later they exit the pipe, but find themselves back at the beginning)

Jo: What the?!

Anna: This is right where we started! Where's the freakin' exit?

Cope: Oh jeez—

All: What?

Cope: Could we pan up a bit?

(The screen lowers slightly to show the game stats. Under the level marker is a big -1. Dun dun DUN!)

Cope: Son of a b***h, we're in Minus World!

Will: What, like a negative zone of some kind?

Stan: What're we gonna do? We're gonna die! We're all gonna die!

Sylvia: Hush, Stanley; no one's dying here. There's got to be some way out of this.

Cope: We could all die repeatedly until our lives run out.

Rick: Errrmm, I'd much prefer something less fatalistic.

Anna: Not much say in the matter, Ricky ol' boy. Here comes a whole floppin' school of them bloopers right now.

(Show an immense school of speeding squid)

Sally: Ah sushi…

(The whole screen fills with bloopers. After a sec the screen clears of bloopers and everyone's fine)

Anna: Huh. We're still alive.

Cope: They were scared of something.

Sara: But what?

(Jaws music plays as something slowly approaches from the left)

Stan: Uh, Mom?

Sylvia: We got here by dropping from the sky, so perhaps if we went over the wall?

(The thing gets close)

Stan: G-g-guys?

Cope: What I'm curious about is what would scare so many bloopers away. Hmm, tis a mystery...

(Closer)

Stan: GUYS!

Jo: What is it, Stan?

Stan: LOOOOOK!

(Show a giant red fish with a big mouth)

Cope: Ah s****t! BIG BERTHA!

(The cheep-cheep chomps hungrily)

Jo: SWIM AWAAAAY!

(They zip to the right, followed by the cheep-cheep. To SM64 Slider music the Jedi speed through the water and past obstacles as the big fish eats everything in its path. At the end of the course the Jedi are moving so fast that they blow the top half of the end wall like cardboard. They go zipping through pure blue water that slowly darkens with the coming night, while at the same time changing from 8-bit to full 3D rendering. They zip past the bottom of an idling motorboat. On the boat)

Capt: Did you see that, Kip?

Kip: No. I didn't see any—

(The cheep-cheep leaps from behind and swallows them in a single gulp before going back into the water. Immediately after, all the Jedi leap onto the boat)

Sylvia: Hit the f**kin' gas, Will!

(Will slams the throttle and the boat shoots forward. Behind them the fish continues leaping out of the water and keeping pace, with the boat's owners still in its mouth)

Capt: They're getting away with my boat!

Kip: Get back here!

(At some point the boat speeds across the screen, and when the cheep-cheep follows a lone thwomp falls from above and smooshes it unceremoniously. Back on the boat)

Stan: The fish is dead! Long live us!

All: HOORAAAY!

(They all collapse from exhaustion)

Rick: God I'm tired…

Sally: At least we can dry off in peace, bro…

Jo: What's going on here anyway? Drunk villagers, Minus World, 8-bit, and that cheep-cheep.

Cope: Video games is what.

Anna: Speaking of, we're not 8-bit anymore.

Sylvia: We must have transitioned to another game.

Stan: But which one?

Will: Hey, I can see some lights up ahead. It looks like a city.

Sara: A city? Out here on the ocean?

Sylvia: We're probably near a coast.

Jo: Just head for it. We've had enough ocean for one day.

Will: Got it.

(The boat speeds along towards the growing lights)

Verse 3

Collision

- The great behemoth welcomed its arrival. All the city lights gleamed with anticipation. It was to be a special night.

(The boat slowly sputters up to a floating pier before stopping. After they get up to the docks, Stan falls flat onto the ground)

Stan: Land! Sweet stable merciful land!

(The others walk over him)

Cope: Needlessly dramatic, just like your father.

Sally: Come on, Stan.

(He gets up abashedly and follows. They walk on a bit through some enclosed walkways, passing the gawking looks of oddly-clothed citizens)

Stan: So, when do we find some beds?

Will: We gotta know where we are first. Find out what weird-a** game world we ended up in this time.

Anna: And see if it's even possible to get us a bed. For all we know it's probably all business centers and we'll end up shacking it in an alley.

Stan: Oh please tell me we don't have to.

Sylvia: I sincerely doubt it'll come to that, Stanley. At worst, we can break into some store and spend the night there.

Rick: Or even a mansion. I wouldn't mind kicking out some rich codger just so we have someplace decent to rest.

Anna: Ha! Now that's my kind of reasoning. Just be mindful of the cops.

Rick: Of course.

(They walk out onto a wide and open walkway. They stare in awe as we get a panoramic view of the surrounding buildings. Great shining skycrapers of a highly advanced architecture gleam before their dazzled eyes, towering high into the night sky. They are covered in all sorts of eye-grabbing murals and light displays. High above the city, great arches of water hang over everything. Around them are highways that catered to both foot traffic and hovering vehicles)

Sally: Wooooow... It's so big. And pretty…

Sylvia: What is this place, Alex?

Cope:...I forget at the moment. All that swimming has drained my concentration, but this place looks very familiar.

Will: If only we had a name

(High above them is a floating sign with the city's name on it, but it passes by unnoticed)

Jo: Well there's no point standing here wondering. Let's check this place out.

(They walk along the wide highway they're on)

Cope: I swear, this all seems so familiar.

(A kid runs past then kicking a ball)

Far-Off Woman: Timmy! If you don't stop messing with that blitzball I'll send you off to the slave auctions rather than the orphanage!

Cope: It's frustrating; I feel it on the tip of my tongue.

Jo: Heh heh.

Sara: Bad Jo!

(They pass a young couple)

Guy: Hey, Betty? You wanna do the dirty deed?

Girl: Pre-marital intercourse? But Robby, it's a sin!

Guy: A sin, you say? Well you know we're both atheists. And besides, you said nothing when we beat that one sinning hobo within an inch o' his life.

Girl: Hmmm, I reckon you are correct darling. Alright, let's get sinful!

Guy: Darn tootin'! And let's see if we can get that kid and his momma to come watch.

Cope: If only I had some clue. Like a verbal cue of some type.

(They pass a man and an elder)

Man: Hey gramps, what time is it?

Elder: What? Eh, eleventy-u eyeven.

Man: Eleventy Yu Yevon? Sheesh, just listen to yourself. I'm hoping the rest of your organs aren't as bad as your ears by the time we get to the chop shop.

Elder: I wanna go home...

Cope: How my restless mind requires relief from this riddle!

Rick: How bout we ask someone instead of moaning about it?

Jo: Yeah, Alex. Observe this simple remedy.

(He approaches a shifty-looking man)

Jo: Pardon me, mister. What city is this?

Man: Don't bother me, guy! I'm in the middle of stalking this one chick that just got out of the booby hatch. Man is she hot! (Show a woman standing on the edge of the highway before she leaps off yelling) Hey! You ain't gonna get away that easily my little tease!

(Follows suit of the suicidal)

Cope: What do you call that, Jo? Certainly not an answer!

Sylvia: He still tried, Alex. We just have to keep asking around and we'll find out exactly what city this is.

?: "What city"? It should be fairly obvious.

(Stumbling into sight is the tough loner with the big long sword who is most definitely not Sephiroth but the far more chill and grizzled Auron)

Cope: Holy wasabi! You're Auron! THE Auron!

Auron: Peh. You sound all excited, like I'm famous or something. Last I checked I didn't even have my own story.

Cope: What are you talking about? You do have a story! A good one at that.

Auron: I do? Well excuse me for my forgetting-ness. This liquor of mine always gets to my head. (Takes a swig of his big flask) Ahhhh, that's the stuff!

Anna: Auron. That's a Final Fantasy character, right? From Final Fantasy X as I recall.

Sylvia: Which means this place would be—

Auron: Zanarkand! That's right! I told you; straight from me. You're in the great Zanarkand: Home to my lonely needs and numerous rejections. That Zanarkand, yaha!

Cope: D***it! Zanarkand, of course! Grrr, it's been like twelve years since I last played the game, but I still should've remembered that by heart.

Jo: Don't beat yourself up over it, Alex. Life's not all about video games.

Will: You do know what sort of universe we're from, right?

Auron: Aye, ye be gettin' it, me laddy. How's bout s'mmore drink for me self (Drink, sounding more Irish for some reason) Oi I be so drunkard!

Rick: Why are you drunk, exactly? Especially out here in the open?

Cope: Yeah, that's right: Auron never gets drunk! Just what is going on?

Auron: I'm drunk because I'm celebratin'. Y'see, tonight is a special night. A grand occasion to end all occasions shall befall this wondrous city of deplority and vice.

Anna: And what occasion would that be?

Auron: I'm talking about the arrival of Sin, little missy.

Cope: Sin!?

Auron: Ah yes. The one guy who ever showed me any respect. He and I were always cool with each other, unlike that tight-a** Braska. Yeah, he's coming here to end it all.

Will: End it?

Auron: End it all. Clean the slate. This city is gone, my friends. Nothing will be the same. Which is why I'm celebrating my departure from this place. For everyone's departure!

Sally: You're absolutely nuts.

Cope: The real Auron would never sound like such a hopeless wuss! Who are you really?

Auorn: Aye, that's exactly what Tidus told me. (Gets seriously glum) I keep telling him the world's gonna end, but he never believes me. He never returns my calls. I miss him so d**n much! Tidus! Why did you leave me? WHY-EEEEE! (Starts crying)

Cope: This is sickening.

Sylvia: But you can't help feeling pity for the poor guy.

Auron: (Recovers) You know, I got all this tension inside me. It's ready to burst. I got to relieve it before I go.

Sara: Huh?

Auron: How many of you dames can say that you got to bang a ghost? (Drops pants)

Jedi: (Shocked, freaked out, sickened faces)

Auron: I'll have the tall guy at my back, take the blonde from the front, and do the Gila monster from behind, Bob! Let the Games Begin!

(The Jedi run lightning quick past the pantless drunk. He's soon all alone in an awkward stance)

Auron: That's the 20th group that's denied me tonight. Well, guess I better move outta this joint.

(He starts doing "The Time Warp" dance from Rocky Horror Picture Show and shimmies offscreen. Switching views, we find the Jedi eventually stopping to catch their breaths)

Anna: What the Hell is with all the horn dogs lately?

Stan: This place is seriously messed up, man!

Cope: And it's about to get more messed up when Sin arrives.

Will: Who's Sin, exactly?

Cope: You take all the creatures of the Godzilla-verse, wrap them together in bleak blackness, add a few billion deranged souls and you have the physical embodiment of pure dag nasty destruction.

Stan: So some kind of demon? Frickin' terrific!

Anna: How long until this living doomsday arrives?

Cope: I'm not sure. We just have to keep an eye out for something really strange and unnatural.

Rick: (Points) Like that?

(They look behind. Rising high above the city edge is a ginormous watery wave of great immeasurableness. The wave curves into a giant round ball of a water-like substance. Inside the water sphere is a huge something of whitish brown covered in flashing circles of light. It slowly floats through the air into the city. As it does, buildings warp and bend toward it as though being pulled in by a strong gravitational field)

Jo: What, the, h***, is that?

Cope: Annihilation…

(Ripples appear along the sphere, then bursting from all around it fire long yellow projectiles. They fly past the Jedi, tearing through the buildings in cataclysmic explosions, while others begin collapsing from the shockwaves)

Stan: Holy Crap!

Sally: This is actually serious!

Cope: RUUUN!

(They start running as "Night of Fate" from Kingdom Hearts starts playing. They dash along the highway with other panicking civilians as the death ball looms closer.)

Stan: Oh Crap Oh Crap Oh Crap Oh Crap Oh Crap!

Jo: Get out of the way!

(Suddenly all around them great black crystals smash and stick into buildings and highways. Their back parts break off to reveal big wiggling tentacles that releases hundreds of shiny black scales into the sky)

Rick: What are those things?

Cope: Sinspawn Ammes: they shoot out tons of those bug creatures. We're gonna be covered with them if we don't hurry.

Anna: Then let's go already!

(They continue running. Suddenly the scales start falling onto the highway in front of them, forming into freaky insects)

Will: Crikey!

Jo: Just cut your way through!

(They slice through the bugs with their sabers. At one point they see some people get struck down by the creatures before they get over to slice them up)

Sara: We were too late...

Cope: They were gonna die anyway. The quicker the better.

Sally: Dude, how can you say that?

Cope: This is all an illusionary dreamscape, anyway. Long story.

Stan: One we don't have time to hear if we wanna move!

(Inky black creatures with yellow eyes suddenly arise from the corpses)

Rick: What the—!?

Cope: Heartless? What are they doing here?

(The creatures leap at the Jedi but get cut down. They continue running, cutting through bugs and Heartless. At some point they pass a platform loaded with distraught, frightened women. Standing on the underside of the platform looking up is the pantless Auron)

Auron: This isn't where I parked my car. Heh heh heh. (Heartless rise around him) Ohhh bummer…

(Back to the Jedi, they reach an empty section of highway flanked by a huge rectangular building. In the distance they can hear the sounds of screams and devastation)

Sylvia: Hold up, everyone; I think we lost them. (They slow down to catch their breaths) It's quiet here. I suppose they haven't come this far.

Jo: Man, we really booked it there. (Huffs) Haven't had to make that kind of run in a while.

Will: Haven't been putting in the exercise lately?

Jo: Oh you're one to talk, Mr. Homebody.

Cope: This isn't right. Heartless being here as well? There's something seriously wrong with this scenario.

Rick: No point thinking on that now. We need to get out of the city while we still can, so what's our exit this time, Mr. Expert?

Cope: You all probably don't want to go the "authentic" way. I suppose one of these highways can get us out. I never really thought of them as an option.

Anna: We ought to have plenty of time to figure it out. I doubt we'll be seeing those things anytime soon, with all that distance we made.

(The whole place starts to rumble. The windows on the building near them shatter)

Jo: Oh that's just great! Thanks for the jinx, Anna!

Anna: Hey, it's probably a power plant going up or something. It can't be that bad.

(The whole building shatters, erupts and disintegrates. Lo and behold, before them all up close was the water-enclosed Sin as "Destiny's Force" from KH kicks in. The behemoth flashes its many eyes, causing the Jedi to float up into the air)

Will: Ah crud!

Stan: Yaaaa!

Sally: What's happening?!

Cope: I don't know!

(They are held in place over a part of the great water sphere. All around them the cityscape bends and warps toward it. Hundreds of the black insects fill the air before flying at the heroes. They dodge and cut through the swarm before Anna fries them with Force Lightning)

Anna: Pesky bugs!

(They're suddenly swept to a spot over the sphere's equator. At this point, parts of the surrounding buildings rip out and fly at them in an orbit around the beast)

Sara: Look out!

(They dodge the debris by flapping themselves up and down until a whole building comes at them. Cope brings himself level and slashes his saber down hard through the building as it passes, cleaving it in half so it separates away from the group. Abruptly they're tugged to another sector of the sphere, where more of the watery tentacles pop out from the surface. After Sara, Sylvia and Jo cut through any that get too close, they're all suddenly swung down to the bottom side. The world around them is even more twisted and warped then before. Rising from the sphere this time are two large black monsters with writhing tentacles for heads)

Stan: Darksides!

Cope: How do you know about them?

Stan: They're in all my nightmares!

(The monsters try to grab them with their dark hands, only to have them chopped off. As before our heroes are pulled away, this time being put into a fast orbit around the sphere. A ball of matter forms in close to them)

Sara: Trouble!

Rick: It's winding up for something.

Jo: Get ready!

(Suddenly the matter ball blasts out a stream of various objects which the Jedi deflect at a rapid pace with their weapons. Debris, Heartless, bugs, cars, all sorts of messed up things are fired at them. But eventually the ball evaporates and the Jedi come to a standstill in the air over a clear area of the water sphere)

Rick: What's it doing now?

(From the cleared area comes a large, round, glowing, fleshy opening)

Will: What the h*** is that thing?

Cope: It's the A** Of Sin!

(Things start being pulled into the hole)

Jo: That thing's pulling us in!

Cope: Seems we're going the "authentic" route after all. Everyone brace yourselves!

Anna: No! Nuh-uh! I'm going nowhere near—

(They all get sucked into a vortex beneath the hole. As they steadily spin upwards, they begin warping and distorting whilst yelling)

Stan: Getting dizzy, getting siiiick!

Sylvia: Kids! Try to keep close together!

Sally: Can't really help that, Mom!

Sara: Just hold on, Sylvia!

Sara: Will!

Jo: We're going in!

Anna: Nope Nope Nope Nope NOPE!

(They vanish into the glorious void, and everything flares white before fading to black)

With His breath He brought life to the Earth. And with a flare of His nostrils all was extinguished by His Grace.

Hallelujah!

- Take a breath, and rest.