The second that the police left, Lena made an ill advised move and fled home. She was well aware of how it looked, a Luthor fleeing after a police visit never hinted to a positive motive, providing suspicion to those watching that she was hiding something. It was only a matter of time for the police to storm her apartment as if Lex would be hiding in the closet.
All she wanted to do was go home, to get away from the suffocating pressure of running L-Corp. She was in no shape to run her business right now, not that she had gotten much done today regardless.
Lena slammed the door behind her, locking it immediately. An unsettling feeling aroused deep within as she glanced around the darkly lit apartment, expecting for Lex to step out of the shadows. Minutes ticked by as she leaned against the door until Lena was willing to admit that she was alone.

Alone to express the crushing abundance of emotions she worked to hard to maintain and keep concealed, locked away from the judgemental world. In the eyes of society, emotions were a sign of weakness, and she could not give away anything for her countless enemies to manipulate. If her adversaries had any inkling of how close she was to breaking, L-Corp would be doomed. The confident image of CEO Lena Luthor was growing increasingly hard to fabricate as the days dragged by with her focus on her experiments and James.

In the privacy of her own home, Lena allowed herself to give into the overwhelming pressure of the life of a Luthor. At least she had control of her life for now with Lillian in prison, although she expected Lex to reach out to her soon enough. Her throat burned with the temptation to relinquish the buildup of emotions. She inhaled a deep gulp of air, releasing it in sync with the slow stream of tears. Only now at her lowest point did she stop fighting with herself, a flood of despair that wiped out any speck of joy that may have resided somewhere within her heart.

Her body slid to the floor, too distraught to stagger to the couch,"Can I never escape them?" Lena croaked, head resting back against the doorframe.

Maybe now was a good time as any to confront her multitude of mistakes, most notably the gigantic waste of time spent on James. He constantly doubted her, never trusted her, always tossing Lena aside as if she was there whenever convenient for him. Lena still did not understand fully why she stayed with him for all that time, only that the relationship served its purpose as a distraction from Kara.

Years of internalized homophobia at the brutal words of Lillian echoed in the back of her mind. That was one of the many ways the cruel woman tortured Lena, telling her what she felt was not real, that she deserved what she had coming for even thinking such horrific thoughts. Every suggestive thought, every heart wrenching pang of desire was met with guilt paired with a fading sense of stifling disgust.

How though, Lena still could not comprehend precisely how this atrocity happened, particularly in a such a close time period. She typically prided herself in her ability to keep her emotions in check, but something was different about that single girl. Or at least she thought, until Kara had to ruin it by lying about her secret identity. In hindsight this revelation was so obvious it was a wonder she did not make the connection, perhaps Lena subconsciously blinded herself as a way to protect herself.

Kara freaking Danvers, otherwise known as the only source of pristine light in the smothering sense of darkness. That was until life decided that she had not suffered enough, something had to changed within Kara that persuaded her to confess a secret so surprising Lena refused to believe it at first. She could not deny that it made sense, the numerous close calls where Supergirl was suddenly there when she had no right being in the area. Of course the thought had occurred, the coincidences were far to common for the two people not to be connected.

It took a concerning amount of time for the realization that Kara was gay, whether it be bisexual, pansexual, or whatever the hell she considered herself. Maybe aliens did not have labels, hell if she knew.

From the shreds of memories she collected from her glimpses of her intoxicated state, last night's rapid development was a long time coming. It was too real, too personal for it to just be a one night stand, perhaps her attraction to Kara was not as one-sided as assumed previously. Or maybe it was, and Lena let herself be vulnerable and as consequence any potential chance at restoring their friendship was now shattered. That is if she could just talk to Kara, to understand why she lied.

Between quiet sobs, Lena chuckled weakly. The idea that Kara would find her redeemable, especially after Adam's death at her hands was amusing. If only Lex could see her now, attempting to use L-Corp and alien technology to aid humanity instead of destroying it. Whether it was irony or karma, her destruction hung in limbo, all because she fell in love with an alien. The very alien species Lex was dead set on destroying.
Even if the Harun-El experiments were successful, the world would find a way to tear her down. Her critics would focus on the people that have suffered from her trial, regardless of their knowing consent, instead of what the success of these experiments would mean for humanity. She would never be good enough, forever in the shadow of a name she did not belong to. Lena still grieved for Adam's sacrifice, but she refused to let his death mean nothing, she would figure out how to use the Harun-El for good.

An aggressive pounding of the door startled Lena causing her to leaped to her feet. With her heart pounding to the point where she could hardly breathe, she staggered to the kitchen. Lena hurriedly searched through each drawer until she discovered a pistol. Not that it would provide much protection with her violently shaking hands, she raised the gun at eye level.

"Lena, come on. I know you are in there," a desperate female voice pleaded from the otherside the door.

At the sound of Kara's voice, the gun slipped from her unsteady hands. It hit the tile floor with a loud clunk, prompting a concerned remark from the voice again,"I will knock down this door in five seconds!"
"Five!"

Lena tried to speak but her throat was tight with sorrow, so instead she frantically unlocked the three deadbolts and swung open the door,"Four."

"Three." She knew it was Kara on the other side, but was not expecting to see a battered Supergirl on the verge of punching her way through the door.

"Two," her voice faltered as their eyes connected. Kara blinked rapidly in surprise but refrained from making another sound.

"What do you want?" Lena found her voice, sounding just as raspy and tired and faltered as she felt.

"To see if you're okay," Kara stayed were she was, not making any effort to push by Lena to come in. She had a busted lip and part of her suit was torn around her ribcage. An arm resting against the hallway supported most of her weight. It looked like she had fought a superpowered bear and barely escaped with her life.

"You mean to see if I helped Lex escape? If he's hiding out here?" She seethed, her tone harsh.

"Who do you think did this?" Kara's eyes flashed with hurt.

"What did you do?" Lena sighed, stepping aside to let her in.

"I heard Lex got out… so I had Brainy track him down for me," she winced, wrapping her left hand around her waist,"I wanted to catch him before he had a chance to get to you."

"Damn it Kara…" Lena quietly shut the door, securing the locks as she collapsed onto the couch.

"I did it for you," Kara said sheepishly, her pale Kryptonian skin flared to a bright red.

"How the hell did you convince Alex to send the DEO?" She settled down next to Kara, making sure to leave several inches in between them. Lena was far too emotionally drained to deal with Kara right now as she could feel the start of another outbreak building.

"I didn't," Kara whispered with a feeble sigh as she turned away, unable to face Lena.
"Are you freaking serious? Why would you do something so stupid?" She scoffed,"You just flew to his doorstep, basically handing yourself over to a madman? He has no issue killing aliens, especially Kryptonians!"

"I wanted to arrest him for you," Kara reluctantly peeked out of the corner of her eye,"To make up for what I did."

"What would I have done if he had killed you? I can't handle another loss," Lena stopped herself from speaking as the pain in the back of her throat spiked.

"I'm sorry, I feel so terrible after the lying. If I had been honest with you from the beginning than last night would not have happened," the Kryptonian blonde sighed heavily, wincing as she shifted her body towards Lena.

"I was weak, it was my fault," she grumbled, untying her hair from the loose bun. It messily fell across her back in tangled dark brown strands. Lena ran a hand through her hair, tightly shutting her eyes to block out the rushing desire to take Kara's pained face between her hands and kiss her until the world melted away. Lena was on the verge of crying again and the last person she wanted to do that in front of was sitting right next to her.

"Lee, it takes two to tango," Kara chirped in attempt to lighten the mood. Lena felt weight around her shoulder, sudden warmth on her right side alerted her that Kara had moved closer,"I just didn't want him to hurt you again. We were both emotional, I was just so happy to see you again."

She was torn, her sensible side wanting to push Kara away while her emotional side wanted to embrace her and never let go,"Happy to see me? I'm a Luthor, Kara. The first suspect in his escape. I'm never good enough for the world and I never will be."
"You put the Luthor name and fortune to good use, you've done so many great things. Saved my life in more ways than once," Kara murmured, tightening her hug.

"You don't understand. You don't know what it's like to have hatred engraved in your soul, for every whisper behind your back wondering when you'll turn on them. I've killed my mom, Adam. I don't deserve you," Lena breathed, a couple of teardrops escaping as she opened her eyes to glare at Kara. Two excruciating months since Adam's death rocked her core, haunting her each time she searched for another participant for the Harun-El program

"I can't protect you," she added in a strained whisper.

"Oh, Lee…" Kara sighed, resting her head against Lena's shoulder,"Neither of their deaths were your fault. No matter what you say, no matter what you think, I'll be here. I know things may not be the same, that it may take time to rebuild what we had, but I will never leave you," her hushed voice paused for a moment as Kara kissed her check,"You don't have to protect me."

"Until you do, until someone hurts you beyond my ability to help. They all do. Or they go crazy, turn on me, die. I hurt people Kara, it's what I do, I'm a Luthor after all. Why fight it?" Lena bristled as Kara wiped away the tears that dripped off her defined cheekbones.

"I have faith in you, I always have," Kara murmured, guiding Lena's face to meet her own with an index finger,"You are more than a name."

"It's not that simple. We can't just kiss and make up," she growled, pulling out of the alien's grasp. Lena's heart thumped wildly against her ribcage as it became harder to fight when Kara's pale blue depths darkened with agony.

"Oh Rao… Why do you defy happiness? I can't help how I feel Lena, I care more than you can imagine," Kara rested a comforting hand on her shoulder. Lena could not resist flinching at the attempt of affection contact.

"Kara, don't you get it? I can't be happy. The world is against it. It seemed like a cruel joke when I started to fall for you. You know what happened when I told Lillian? She laughed. Said of course I would fall for you, said I did it to spite her. I just assumed it was because she's homophobic, not because you're freaking Supergirl."

"I'm here, Lena. I will be here for whatever you need, whether it be a friend or something more. You've got someone to talk to now, you are not alone," she insisted, desperation becoming more apparent.

"You aren't hearing me," Lena whispered, hardly audible,"I can't do this. I hate that I love you." It was entirely true, in a sense. Kara would always be a reminder of what she wanted, a chance at a happy life that was just out of reach. She could not get attached, not more than she already was, it already hurt seeing Kara in pain, it would only amplify that agony to an unbearable amount,"You're a weakness I can't afford the luxury of having."

Kara sat in silence, struggling to process Lena's cold words. She hoped that her ruthless lament would chase Kara away so that she could suffer in peace. The tension broke as the Girl of Steel essentially tackled Lena in another rather annoying hug.

Lena was shocked to see her pale crystal eyes tainted with a pinch of red around the edges, tears started to form.

"Hate me, fight me all you want, but fight harder against the hatred. You have made your own impact, but maybe not in the way intended to. Lena Luthor, you are a Luthor of your own accord. The same Luthor woman I fell in love with that day for that article for that exploded rocket," she said, burying her sorrowful face into the disarray of chestnut hair.

"The same reporter that has stood by me since day one," Lena finished reluctantly. This damn girl was somehow her savior yet the bane of her existence at the same time.
"No matter what they say, no matter what he does, I'm here for you. It will be a rough couple of months until I can rebuild your trust, but I'll never leave you. Lex is just an obstacle that we can conquer together."