Set after 15x06

"Sorry for coming over on such short notice. It's half past two in the morning and I – "

"Maggie. A) This is home for you whenever you want it, ok? And B)… what is going on?"

Maggie gave Meredith a look. Meredith knew that look. It was the I need to talk to someone badly look. She opened the glass door for her sister, who was beginning to remove her coat, and they made their way to the living room sofa.

They sat and Meredith raised her eyebrows, prompting her to speak.

Maggie took a deep breath.

"I was up all night in the lab working on rechargeable hearts. All day, I've been closing off any visitors because I wanted to spend that time alone remembering my mom," she said shaking her head and staring blankly until her gaze met her sister's. "I came home in the middle of the night to find Jackson crying on the kitchen floor holding his phone."

"What?" Meredith asked, a little shocked. "Do you know what about?"

"Yeah," said Maggie with tears starting to form in her eyes. "He kept saying 'Sammy, I'm sorry.'"

1:00 A.M...

"Okay so I did end up eating a lot of the food you brought. Thank youuu," announced Maggie as she came in through the door of his apartment after noting some movement coming from the kitchen.

Jackson was still up.

She hung her coat on the hook right by his door. She always thought it was an odd place to mount a hook.

No response.

"Jackson?"

As she crossed the living room, the faint but unmistakable sound of sobbing became louder. Her walk hastened to a hurried strut, and then a panicked dash as she zoomed toward the kitchen.

There he was on the floor, slumped in one corner as if he hadn't moved after sinking down into a defeated little pile. He had his phone in one hand and was holding it so tightly that she thought it might crumple into sharp shards of glass.

She dropped her bag on the floor and ran to his side. "Hey hey heyyy…what happened?" she whispered as she moved in to wrap her arms around him.

"..o sss-orry. Am…y"

"What? No, there's nothing… I know you left but you're here now," she said rubbing his back.

"Sssaammy. Little tiny Sammy. Oh, Daddy loves you," he sobbed. "Daddy llo-oves you very m-much. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

Maggie's face changed in an instant. Realization. Sympathy. This wasn't about them. This wasn't about them at all. This was about Jackson. And his grief on the Day of the Dead.

"Oh. Oh, okay... Okay. Shhh.," she said in a sad but comforting voice as she held him closer. It was all she could say. "Okay."

After Jackson started to settle down, Maggie offered to get him on his feet. He slowly stood up wiping his tears and puffed out a long and shaky breath.

"Thank you, Mags. I'm sorry you had to see me like this," he said quietly.

"No. Don't be. Don't be sorry for this. I'm here for you, okay?" she said, arms on his shoulder. "You should get some sleep."

Settling in for the night, she brought him a fresh shirt and a glass of water. Taking a big gulp and giving Maggie a grateful nod, Jackson set his phone on his bedside drawer before turning off the lights.

He fell asleep almost instantly. Clearly drained from letting everything out.

Maggie tiptoed out of the bedroom and grabbed her coat by the door while dialing a familiar phone number.

"Hi. Your late night shift just ended right? Can I meet you at your house?"

"Actually, my shift ended early. But I just got home from visiting Alex. Come on over."

12:00 AM...

"Is now a good time?"

"Yeah. Do you want to talk to her?"

"Yes. I would. Very much. In a bit."

"In a bit?"

"Yeah. I was just wondering… Do you celebrate something like the Day of the Dead? Dio de los Muertos?"

"Celebrate is a strong word."

"Of course. I mean, do you…participate, I guess is the word? In something similar? I mean, is it also a Christian thing?"

"Well if we're getting technical, different denominations have their own shape or form of it. But at its core, I'd like to think it's a people thing."

"That makes sense…" he says, nodding. "Hey, I'm sorry I've been troubling you with all these God questions. I know you're not the spokesperson for all things faith-related."

She chuckles. "Yeah I'm way down the rung of the spiritual leader ladder. And don't mention it. This is… new. This is new… for you."

"It is…" A deep breath. "It really is... Uhm. The other reason I asked specifically about this day… Was 'cause…" A long pause. "I was thinking. You know. About –"

"I know. Me, too."

"…"

"Jackson?"

"I'm here. I just… yeah."

"Yeah."

"Did you visit him?"

"I did," she says, holding back the tears. "Uhm, this afternoon. We went to see Karin, and after we… we went to see him."

He breathes in through his nose. She can tell his nose is stuffy. He soldiers on. "So, how's the new family?"

His voice is shaky, but he smiles the shakiness away.

She hesitates but replies truthfully. "We… We're good over here. Still lots of setting up to do. Things are so different now."

"They are, aren't they?"

"Yeah, they are… Oh! And look who just walked in. Hiiiii, Ladybuuug! Do you want to talk to Daddy?"

"Hi, baby!" He says, sloppily wiping his tears away. "How's my Sweetheart? April, could you put it on speaker?"

"Yup, there. Dada!"

"Hiiii! How's my Sweetheart? Ohh, Daddy misses you. I'll see you in a few days though, so looks like I'll have myself a hot date. I'm already blushing." He can feel April roll her eyes. But she's smiling, too, he knows.

His voice turns solemn. "Hey, Nugget. We're so lucky to have you. So, so lucky. Your mom and I love you so much." He exhales deeply. "And you know who else loves you so much? Your big brother, Samuel. Mommy told me you guys visited him today. He… uhm, well, you don't know him that well… " He winces. "Neither do we. But we know he loves you. We do."

There is sobbing in the background.

"April, you there?"

She switches the phone off speaker. She picks Harriet up and puts her in her crib. "Yeah… I'm here."

Silence.

"Jackson?"

"April, did we kill our little boy?" he said, making no effort to hide that he was now crying. Hard.

"What? No, Jackson, no. How could you say that?"

"Did God kill him? Why is he dead? Or maybe we did. We didn't wait. We didn't wait for a miracle. Did you agree to be induced because of me? Did I pressure you to give up that hope because I didn't believe it could happen?"

"We were never promised a miracle, Jackson. No one is. He was…he… oh, God…"

It's just as hard for her to speak through the tears.

"He was in so much pain, Jackson. You knew that. I knew that. You never forced me into anything. No matter how frustrating I imagine it got for you."

"But WHAT IF, APRIL? What if we chose differently?!"

"I don't know."

He sinks down to the floor.

"I miss him," he says, crying. "Sss-oo m-much."

"I know," she said, crying, too. "I know, Jackson. Ohh, I miss him, too."

They cry. Until who knows when. Matthew stops by the door, concerned. He decides to give them space knowing it's about Samuel more than anything else. He gently closes the door leaving it slightly ajar.

"Jackson?"

"April."

"I'll be right here, okay? Hang up when you want to."

"Okay."

Moments pass. There is shaky breathing at each end of the phone.

He hangs up.

The tears don't stop.