Author: Zia
E-mail: [email protected]
Title: Every Reason
Disclaimer: I still say that I own Michael and Rath and their handcuffed to my bed
Author's Note: I started this fic before I started writing Inevitability but decided tonight that I'd start working on it again. And don't worry! Lol I've got plans for the prequel and sequel to Kismet, and got Inevitability all planned out too. So I'll still be working on those.

Maria DeLuca jumped out of her car the second she stopped it in the parking lot. She ran across the parking lot and inside, frantically searching for the front desk. "I'm looking for Michael Guerin." She'd just gotten a phone call a half an hour ago that there had been an accident. Dread filled her stomach. We're they ok? All of them? She hadn't seen Michael since the day he left for summer vacation over three months ago. She'd really missed him, not that she would ever admit to him just how much. She pushed a lock of hair out of her face staring at the nurse behind the desk.

"Maria." She heard a soft broken voice say her name. Spinning around quickly her heart clenched when she saw Michael, a long bandage along the side of his head, his arm in a sling, walking with a limp.

"Michael. Oh god." She whispered rushing to him. Her arms carefully wrapped around him, trying not to hurt him, but also to hug him as tightly as she could. "Where are your parents? Are they okay?" She asked him softly.

Michael just held onto her with his good arm and buried his face in her hair. She was so much more grownup now then when he left three months ago. "They're gone Maria." He whispered clutching her against his chest.

"What?" Maria asked pulling back slightly to look up at his face.

"They're gone… my mom died instantly… my dad died about an hour ago." Maria let out a half gasp, half whimper. His family was dead. She held him tighter, knowing that they were his only family aside from her and her parents.

Michael's legs started to give out as the reality hit him and Maria helped him sit down in one of the chairs. He couldn't believe it. They'd just spent three months at the beach, and then on the way home from the airport the semi crossed the lane and plowed into them. How could this have happened? He buried his face in his hand as tears started rolling down his face.

Maria sat close to him, her hand gently rubbing his back for a while. "Come on Michael… My mom said that you could stay with us." Maria gently urged him to get up, and to walk out of the hospital. She hated hospitals, and had an intense fear of them, but she was pushing it out of her mind for him. Finally she managed to get him up and to her car.

Maria drove Michael to her house, holding his hand in hers, gently rubbing the back of it with her thumb. She just wanted to be able to comfort him. She hated him being so upset. She'd known him almost her whole life, she grew up with him, and she loved him more than anything. He'd always went around dating other girls, and she'd been jealous of them, because they'd managed to catch the eye of Michael Guerin, something she'd never been able to do.

Michael climbed out of the car with Maria, holding her hand tightly in his. His family was gone. She was all he had left. His best friend. She looked so different now. It was amazing what a simple three months could do. Her hair was longer, darker, and it framed her face. Her eyes were still that deep emerald green that he remembered, but there was something else in them now. Life. She was more mature now, not the immature little girl he'd gotten into fights with over ice cream, the remote, or his dates. Her once scrawny body, now more developed, full breasts, shapely legs, and a curvy waist, all accentuated by her black mini skirt and tight white tank top. Had all this change happened in three months? He doubted it. But three months away from her made him realize what a beautiful woman she was becoming.

"Come on Michael, I'll even let you have the remote." Maria gave him a small smile, trying to get his mind off of things. She led him inside, and down to her room. Where he'd spent countless nights over the years with her, late nights watching movies, and eating popcorn. He loved her bed; it smelled like lilac, and her vanilla shampoo. He kicked off his shoes and Maria helped him lay down, and then sat on the edge of the bed beside him. "You want anything? Some tea… ice cream… me to just leave you the hell alone and let you rest?" She smiled at him again. It was a beautiful smile. Full lips, that looked soft and shinny. Slowly he reached up and cupped her face, stroking her cheek with his thumb.

"Just… don't go anywhere. Stay here with me." Michael had no idea how those words and actions affected Maria. He was touching her, and asking her to stay. She nodded and laid down on the bed beside him, arms instantly wrapped around each other.

Michael's good arm wrapped securely around her waist, holding her against his chest, then his head lowered to rest on her chest, against her breasts, where he could hear her heart beating, and feel her chest rise and fall with each breath. He needed to be able to assure himself that she was alive. That he wasn't going to lose her too. He closed his eyes and quickly drifted off to sleep from all of the painkillers in his system.

Maria laid with him in her arms, gently stroking the back of his head, watching him sleep. She dozed off after a while, her arms still wrapped tightly around him.

Waking up quickly Maria looked at Michael before carefully slipping out of his arms. She rushed into the bathroom and dropped down in front of the toilet. She threw up and coughed hard, wincing at the pain in her chest. She stood up and washed her face, then heard a sound coming from her room. Broken sobs erupting from Michael's throat. She dried her hands quickly and rushed back into her room. He was still sound asleep, but crying hard. She almost started crying as she shook his shoulder. She'd never seen him cry, not even when they were five and he'd fallen from the tree house and broke his leg. "Michael, wake up. Please wake up."

Michael jerked awake and sat up quickly looking at Maria. He'd been having a dream about his parents' funeral. But instead of only two caskets, there were three. He walked up to the third and lifted the lid, to find Maria, lying there with her beautiful smile, then her face changed. Her body withered away into nothing but dust. Now she was sitting in front of him, concern written across her face. He pulled her into his arms and held onto her as tightly as he could.

It had been three months since that night, and for the most part it had been forgotten. Not forgotten, but blocked from their minds. Michael had lost his family, and Maria had seen a side of him she'd never seen before, and it scared her to see him so vulnerable. He hadn't cried at the funeral, just held Maria's hand tightly as she cried.

Part Two

They lay on a blanket in the park after eating lunch. Both on their backs, Maria's head on his stomach as they looked up at the mostly clear sky. They had grown closer over the past months; he slept in her room every night, despite the fact that her parents had set him up in the guest room. He needed the closeness of having someone beside him, close enough to hear her heartbeat, feel her breath, and watch her sleep. Michael gently combed his fingers through her hair as he watched her face. "You're so beautiful." He whispered softly.

Maria heard him whisper and turned her head to look up at him. He'd never told her that before. "Thank you." She whispered rolling onto her side so her head was resting on his chest, hearing his heart beating. He hadn't taken his eyes off her, his fingers just kept combing through her hair. "Michael?" She asked quietly. Then she felt his lips against hers, soft, full lips. She couldn't help but let out a quiet moan as she slid her fingers into his hair.

Michael kissed her softly, and when he heard her moan he pulled her closer as he sat up. Her arms were around his shoulders and his hands were around her waist, holding her tightly against him, kissing her passionately. He'd been spending so much time with her lately, he was realizing how amazing she was, and how beautiful. He'd known her forever, but had never really noticed her, not how he noticed other girls. But now here she was, sitting in his lap, kissing him passionately, how could he not notice her?

Maria looked up at Michael as he hovered over her naked body. The whole trip back to her house had been a blur, up until the point that they fell into bed naked, then it all became crystal clear. She just lay there, watching him, letting him touch her. Then the nauseas feeling started again. "Michael…" She pushed him off her and grabbed her robe as she ran to the bathroom.

Michael stared at her as she ran into the bathroom. He could hear her throwing up and quickly got up and yanked on his boxers. She'd been so sick lately, it was getting worse. She always just told him it was nothing, and he knew it was bullshit. He pushed open the bathroom door and saw her lying on the floor, her knees pulled up to her chest, crying. "Maria?!" He swiftly knelt down beside her and pulled her into his arms. "Baby? What's wrong? Please tell me." He rocked her gently and stroked the back of her head.

"I'm sorry Michael." Maria sobbed quietly. She hadn't wanted to tell him. He'd lost his parents already, and she hadn't expected this to happen between them.

"Tell me Maria please." Michael begged.

"I'm dying Michael."

"No!" Michael practically yelled. He wouldn't accept it. His parents now Maria?! Why hadn't she told him?!

"I am… over the summer… I have a brain tumor." She whispered quietly.

"That's why you've been so sick…" Maria nodded slowly. "Why didn't you tell me? I'll take you to the hospital, and they can fix it." Maria shook her head.

"No Michael… they can't. It's too far along… I didn't tell you because… I'm scared. I didn't want to admit it." Michael scooped her up in his arms and carefully carried her back to her bed and tucked her in and slid in beside her.

"You know, if my parents find out about this they won't let you stay in here anymore…" Maria bit her lip slightly and looked at him. "Do you want to stay? I mean I understand if you don't…"

"Maria… shut up." Michael said softly. "I'm not going anywhere." He couldn't believe it. He was going to lose her? With a quiet sigh he ran his fingers through her hair. "They won't find out, don't worry." He pressed his lips against her forehead softly.

Part Three

Michael Guerin woke up when he heard his alarm go off and reached over and slammed his fist down on it, trying to shut the ear splitting beep off. With a groan he rolled over again, his arm draping over his wife's stomach. "Morning baby." She murmured softly, slipping her arms around him. He grunted in response. He knew what today was. He didn't want to think about it, but it haunted him.

He felt her climb out of bed and rolled onto his back and stared at the ceiling, listening to her as she dressed and then walked down the hall. Ten years? Had it really been ten years already? Michael sat up and rested his head in his hands. This was hell. Every day it got harder. Easier with time? Not a chance. He got up and walked into the bathroom and closed his eyes as he stepped into the shower, under the hot stream of water.

He remembered that day so well. The love of his life dying in his arms. She was so beautiful; he could have sworn she was just sleeping. How long had he sat out there cradling her body against his chest? He didn't have any idea, he didn't care either. He just needed to hold her.

"Michael?" He heard his wife call to him from the other side of the door and flipped the now cold water off. He stepped out and grabbed a towel and wrapped it around his waist.

"Yeah?" He asked opening the bathroom door.

"I have to go to work…" She watched him cautiously. She always was like this around this time of the year. "I love you Michael." She pressed her lips against his cheek before walking back down the hall.

"Tess…" She stopped and looked at him. "I love you too." She didn't move for a second before she smiled at him and left.

Michael sighed when he heard the door close and her car start and pull out of the driveway. He did love her. But Maria was his first love, and she meant more to him than anything.

He walked down to his room and got dressed. He was going to see her today, and he had to look nice.

Michael walked up the hill to where Maria's headstone rested by itself. Just the headstone, she couldn't stand the thought of her body being six feet under ground so she'd been cremated. She'd picked this spot. They'd come here since they were old enough to sneak away. It was her favorite place to be. It over looked Roswell and it really was beautiful. Michael sat down beside the headstone and laid the bouquet of pink roses next to it. "Hey baby." He whispered. "I really miss you… they always say it gets easier… but it doesn't. I saw your mom yesterday… Her and your dad are good… your little brother is great. It's too bad he never got to meet you." Michael picked up a handful of the dirt. Were her ashes still there? Mixed in with it? Ten years is a long time… they got all kinds of storms, had it all washed away? He didn't care. In essence she was here. She always would be… and so would he.

He pulled the small bottle out of his jacket pocket. Sleeping pills. He'd been taking them since she died, and the nightmares came. That one he'd had the night his parents died, only they just got worse. Maria dying over and over, then coming back to life in his arms, only to be taken away again. He opened the bottle. It was full. Tess had just refilled it this weekend. Michael poured a few into his hand and popped them into his mouth.

He felt bad about leaving Tess like this. He knew she loved him, and he loved her too… but she also knew about Maria. Tess had been an old girlfriend from early on in high school, and she was great. She really meant a lot to him. He knew that deep down, she was expecting this. He'd noticed her hanging out with Kyle a lot more. They'd always been close, but more so lately. Michael downed another handful of pills and closed his eyes, seeing Maria's vibrant face behind his closed lids.

Michael carried her weak body up to the hill. They all knew that she didn't have much time left, and she'd softly told Michael, as they lay spooned together in her bed that she wanted to be there. That's where she wanted to die. Not in some hospital. Not in her room. But in the place that she'd loved the most, that had the best memories, that reminded her of Michael.

Sitting down Michael held her against his chest, making sure the blanket was wrapped around her tightly. "I love you Michael." She whispered quietly.

"I know baby, I love you too." He brushed her hair back from her face, looking down at her pale skin.

"The last few months with you…have meant more to me than anything. I've been in love with you for so long… and just to have the chance to be with you. Because of you, I'm happy… but I'm so scared… I don't want to die Michael…" Tears rolled down her cheeks. "There's so much I never got to do… that I wanted to do with you." A pained expression crossed her face and she clenched her eyes shut.

Michael stared at her; her breathing had become obviously more labored. She didn't have much time now. "Don't be afraid baby. I'm here. I love you. I will always love you. You're the most important person in my life, and you made me feel things… that I never thought I'd feel. You're just this beautiful woman that I knew all along, but never really noticed and when I did… it was too late. I just wish I could have made everything better for you… gotten to show you all the things you wanted to see…" He looked down at her through tear filled eyes and saw her head tilted towards his chest, not breathing. Michael let out a quiet sob and clutched her against him. "God Ria…" He held her as tightly as he could and gently rocked her back and forth. "I love you so much."

Michael let out a shuddering breath swallowing some more of the pills. Everything had started to grow fuzzy and he looked down into the now empty bottle. From a distance he heard a his cell phone ringing in the car, and laid on his side, his face pressed against the cool dirt. His eyes slipped shut.

*Flash* Maria as a young girl, screaming at the top of her lungs as Michael ran past her, pelting her with water balloons in the middle of winter.

*Flash* Looking up at Maria's tear stained face, while trying to ignore the pain shooting through his leg from having fallen out of the tree house.

*Flash* Maria giggling in the kitchen, covered in flour, head to toe, coming at him with a handful of flour.

*Flash* Staring at the doctor as he told him that his parents were dead.

*Flash* Maria coming to his rescue when he had no one else

*Flash* Maria laying in his arms after they made love, snuggled up against his chest, her fingers trailing up and down his back, softly murmuring how much she loved him.

*Flash* Maria knelt before him, gently shaking his shoulder. Michael looked up and saw her bright smiling face, her green eyes full of life. "I missed you." She whispered taking his hand and pulling him up from the ground. Michael's arms instantly wrapped around her waist and kissed her with all of the passion he had inside of himself for her.

Tess hung up the phone with a trembling sigh. Michael wasn't answering his phone. She'd come home for lunch, and his sleeping pills were gone. She knew where they were… where he was. She sunk to the floor tears rolling down her face and dialed Kyle's number. "Kyle? … Michael's gone… I think… can you give me a ride out to Maria's grave?"

Kyle held Tess against his chest as the E.M.T.'s loaded Michael's lifeless body into the back of the ambulance. He smoothed his hands gently up and down her shaking back. "It's ok. It'll be ok." He softly murmured in her ear.