Um... hi. I exist. Sorry it's been forever. Anyway, I was looking through my documents and I came across an idea where Gabriel doesn't lock the door when he goes to transform into Hawkmoth in Backwarder and so when Adrien tries to do the same later, he goes in and sees Hawkmoth there. This is a rather pathetic attempt at humour, so I hope you enjoy.

Disclaimer: I've said it once, I've said it again: I don't own Miraculous Ladybug.

The alert popped up on his phone just as the symphony he was listening to was reaching its climax with almost the entire orchestra playing the uplifting music. Slightly annoyed, Adrien pressed pause and jumped up, ignoring the questioning looks from Kagami.

"I uh, I better go and check on my father." He said, wanting to get out of there as fast as possible. He ran down the train corridor, searching for somewhere to transform in private. A door caught his eye as he ran – the toilet. Perfect!

He rattled the door. It slid open, obviously unlocked. Adrien rushed inside, not even waiting until he was fully in before he let out that familiar sentence – claws out. He felt himself transform and was preparing to jump out of the window and head down to wherever the akuma was until he noticed that he was not alone. There was someone else in the cubicle, and it wasn't just some random citizen who he could politely ask to leave after apologising. No, this was the big bad himself. Chat had managed to get himself a transformation point that also contained Hawkmoth.

Wasn't that just absolutely typical?

Hawkmoth stared at him. Chat stared back. Hawkmoth narrowed his eyes.

"Oops." Chat said, mentally smacking himself. "Um…"

Hawkmoth's jaw dropped. "Adrien?" he said incredulously, and was it Chat's imagination, or was the way he said it oddly familiar?

"Um… no? Someone else? Who's Adrien?" Chat said, knowing it was futile as soon as the words came out of his mouth. Everyone in Paris knew what Adrien Agreste looked like. God, Ladybug was going to be so angry. He shuddered inwardly.
"Adrien." Hawkmoth said again, more sure.

"Um…" Chat said again. "Please don't kill me?"

"Adrien Agreste." He murmured. Again, Chat was struck by just how familiar that voice was. "Adrien, you're grounded."
What? What the hell?

Chat voiced his thoughts in a slightly more profane way.

"Adrien, language!" Hawkmoth said, evidently outraged. "I raised you better than that!"

That gave Chat all the evidence he needed, and the realisation cut through him like a knife. Or a sword. A fencing sword.

"Father?"

"Adrien."

"You're Hawkmoth?"

"And you are Chat Noir."

"But…"

"Adrien. I am very disappointed in you. You know this."

Chat couldn't help but mumble, "No, not disappointment!" Evidently, Gabriel heard this, as his stern glare became suddenly more stern and even more disappointed. Chat pretended he wasn't quivering where he stood.

Suddenly, there was a click and the door opened again. A man whistling walked in, froze and abruptly stopped whistling. He glanced between the two, trying to figure out what the hell was going on. Chat was trying to do the same to be honest.

The man, stuttering, backed slowly away.

"No, please, go ahead." Hawkmoth said, gesturing. "We'll vacate."

He took Chat's hand and led the way out, allowing the man to go about his business. A minute or so later, the flush sounded and the tap ran. It seemed to take an excruciatingly long time for the man to come out after that, but he did eventually and Hawkmoth sighed contentedly.

"Finally, we can go back to our intimidating match. Right, Adrien?"

Chat nodded blindly, even more confused than he was before. "Now," Hawkmoth said, "this is the part where I tell you that I want your miraculous to bring back your dead mother, and you start spouting rubbish about side effects and tell me that I'll never win, correct?" Chat nodded again, not registering any of his father's words. "Adrien!" he said, "I expect you to answer me when I speak to you!"

"Uh… yes, father!" Chat replied quickly.

"Hmm." Hawkmoth mused. "I suppose I'll have to let you go and help your Ladybug with that akuma down at the park. After all, I can't miss an opportunity to say my defeat and revenge speech. I've got this one down."

Chat couldn't quite believe what he was hearing. "Your defeat and… what? Your speech?"

"My speech! You know, the classic villain speech – I almost had you, incessant superheroes! Next time, I will destroy you for sure! That kind of speech. Surely you've watched enough superhero films to know that, Adrien? Anyway, I won't be destroying you, because you are apparently my son and I do care for you, so…" he gestured for Chat to go out of the door. "Go, on. I've been practicing this thing for months!"

Blinking and hoping desperately that this was all a dream, Chat left, shaking his head in disbelief.