It had been a hard day for Derek. He had had a surgery which had not gone too well. Normally that wouldn't have affected him that much but that day it somehow did. He decided to go to Joe's to grab a drink. Derek entered the bar and walked inside. He found himself looking over to a woman with beautiful red hair. It couldn't be anyone but Addison. He knew that sitting next to his ex-wife probably wasn't the smartest idea but he couldn't resist the temptation. Addison always knew how to make him feel better. He walked over to her.
''Addison''
Recognizing the familiar voice, she turned around. ''Hi, Derek'' Addison said. She would recognize Derek's voice anywhere.
''Is this seat taken?'' He asked while smiling and ordering a gin and tonic.
''Was that a rhetorical question Derek?'' She said while smiling weakly back at him.
''No, not really. It was more of a statement.'' Derek sat down next to his ex-wife and ordered a whiskey. ''So what are you doing here Addie?''
''I had a rough day. You?'' She said while sipping her margarita.
''Me too. So what happened?''
''Derek are you sure this is a great idea?''
''C'mon Addie. We both obviously need someone to talk to today. Besides we always know how to make each other feel better.'' He said while smiling encouragingly to Addison.
She couldn't deny that Derek was right but she still wondered if this was a good idea. ''I guess it can't do any harm.''
''So what happened?''
''I had this patient today, a car crash victim. She was 27 weeks pregnant with twins. Her injuries were very serious. We were able to save the babies but there was nothing we could do to save the mother. The babies are in the NICU now. I think they're going to pull through - they're fighters. However they don't have anyone. Their mother died and their father is not in the picture.''
''Oh, I'm so sorry Addie'' He said while gently rubbing her back. He himself often got upset over difficult cases but Addison was the one to always get really attached to the patients.
''Yeah. Me too.'' She sighed. ''Anyways, what happened to you?'' She said while turning her attention back to his ex-husband.
''I had a difficult case, too. My patient is a little girl, Anna. She's seven. We found a small tumor in her brain when we did a CT. Nothing we couldn't handle. Anyways when we opened her up, we found something which we hadn't been able to see in the CT. We found out that the tumor had spread pretty much all around her brain. It is a miracle that she had managed to stay alive for that long. There was nothing we could do and therefore we closed her up. She survived the surgery but she isn't going to live much longer which is incredibly sad and unfair. She would've had her whole life ahead of her.'' Derek explained. He was trying to hide the pain he felt while thinking about her young patient.
''That's awful.'' She said sympathetically
''You're right.'' He looked up from his drink and met Addison's eyes. Her beautiful eyes were visibly red. She had cried. ''Addison, I know you and I can see something is not right. What happened to you?''
''Derek, I already told you.''
''You told me about your patient but you didn't tell me why you're so upset. Addie, you can tell me anything. Even if we're no longer married I still care about you. I'll always care about you.'' Derek lowered his voice while saying the last sentence.
''Okay. Today was my due date. Today was the day my daughter was supposed to be born.'' She said. Tears were falling from her eyes. ''I know it would've been a girl. Her name would've been Ella and she would've had my hair and Mark's smile. She would've had that gap between her teeth like I had when I was little. She would've been stubborn as hell and too smart for her age. She would've loved shopping just as much as I do. She would've grown up to be a surgeon like her parents.''
Derek hugged her. ''Addie. I had no idea, I'm really sorry.'' He meant every word. The first time Addison had told him that she had gotten pregnant when she had been with Mark and that she had had an abortion, Derek couldn't be there for her. He was still more hurt by the fact that Addison had cheated than he was ready to admit. He was very hurt by the fact that someone else got Addison pregnant. And of course he was hurt by the fact that his wife had gotten pregnant while they were still married but the fact that she had carried someone else's baby hurt way more, especially when that someone was his best friend. Since he had always pictured Addison having his baby, when Addison told about it Derek wasn't able to understand how much Addison must've been hurting. Honestly he was only thinking about how glad he was that he didn't have to see Addison carrying Mark's baby. Or to see her give birth to a baby that should've been his. Or to see Mark's mini me run around the hospital. That was all he was able to think about. Looking back, he felt ashamed for being so selfish. Addison had lost a baby, even if it had been on her own terms, and he was relieved. Just now he realized how hard it must've been for Addison. She had not only been grieving her baby but also dealing with their marital problems and Meredith. Not to mention how badly he had treated her during that time. He felt sick to his stomach.
''I did want a baby, just not a baby with Mark.'' I wanted a baby with you she thought, deciding not to say it at loud. ''I wanted to be with you. I should have known by then that you and me, we would not be able to fix our marriage but I still kept hoping. Now I realized how naive I was for still thinking that we could make it work again. I should have known, I should have known that I'd end up alone.''
''You have not ended up anywhere Addie.'' Derek said. He didn't know any of this. He thought he knew how to read Addison. He didn't know that this was the true reason Addison aborted the baby. He had figured it was because Mark had cheated on her but it was actually about Addison and him. He never let her explain, neither in New York nor in Seattle. He just walked away like he always did.
''You don't have to do this, you know. You don't have to be there for me.'' She said with a shaky voice while trying to keep her eyes from being filled by tears.
''I know I don't have to but I want to. I will never stop caring about you Add.'' That was true. He would always care about her. He couldn't stop caring about her even if he wanted to. He had tried that but it hadn't really worked. He had hated Addison for hurting him but he had never stopped caring about her. Even when you hate someone you still care about them.
She looked surprised. ''Thank you Derek.'' She pulled him into a tight hug.
''You don't have to thank me Addie.'' He whispered in her ear.
They pulled away and smiled.
''I don't want to go home just yet. What do you say - should we have a few more drinks?'' He suggested.
''I don't know if that's a great idea...'' Addison said. She didn't want to go home yet either but she doubted that anything good could come from drinking with Derek.
''You and me, we haven't talked like this in a long time. We should have a little fun. Plus I really think we both are in a need of a few more drinks.'' He had his famous smile on his face. ''Joe, can you give us another ones?''
After hours of talking Derek and Addison decided to go home. Derek opened the door of the cab and Addison got in. He sat right next to her.
''So, where shall we go?'' The driver asked,
''You're staying at Archfield, right?'' Derek asked
Addison nodded.
''Then Archfield it is.'' The driver said.
Soon they were in front of the hotel. Derek handed the money to the driver and got out and opened the door for Addison.
''So, I guess we'll see tomorrow.'' Addison said.
''I was planning on walking you to your room.''
''Derek you know I can get there by myself.''
''Yeah, but I really want to walk you. I insist.'' He insisted.
He closed the car's door and the cab drove away.
They walked inside the hotel lobby. The hotel was glorious. It was a five star hotel - but then again how could Addison stay in any other hotel than a five stared one.
Not long after they found themselves in front of Addison's hotel room.
''Tonight was fun!'' Derek said
''It was. Thanks for listening to me. You made me feel a lot better.'' Addison said
''It's the least I could do. And thanks to you, too. You always know how to light up my bad mood.''
She smiled and hugged him.
''Tonight felt like the old days. We were us tonight - we we're Addison-and-Derek.'' He knew he shouldn't have probably said what he said but he didn't even care - he had to say that to her because it was the truth.
She felt her heart starting to beat quicker. He was right. But they couldn't be Addison-and-Derek, not anymore. ''Derek...'' She started but was cut off by Derek's lips touching hers.