Generational

'I'm too young, aren't I?'

I glance down. Prince Leonhard and I are standing in one of the balconies that overlooks the palace courtyard.

Or rather, I'm standing, leaning on the balcony rail, and he's sitting with his arms crossed over his knees and pitching a contemplative fit.

'Pardon, Prince?' I regret doing it, but sometimes I unconsciously tune him out. I can only take so much psychological drama at a time.

'I'm too young to be king.'

I turn. The railing balustrade presses against my shoulder blades. 'You're not becoming king right this very minute, Prince. You're fifteen. You haven't even learned your times tables yet.'

Leonhard coughs, and chokes. 'You… Ugh!' He drops his shoulders, slender limbs folding inwards, and sighs.

I sit beside him. Shadows and sunbeams dance through the forest of marble, and spatter our shoulders.

'Do you need a disaster diary, or can you cope without one?'

'…Hmph.' After a moment, Leonhard looks over, fixing his gaze somewhere below my eyes. '…If one of us four were to become king… We're all young, but Kai has military academy training, and Bruno's so smart, and… I'm just a fourth prince. I'm no good for anything.'

'You talk as though your father were seceding the throne within a week.' Leonhard's head jerks up. 'Besides… Age is irrelevant, Highness. Your father himself took the throne at eighteen. What matters is who you are, and that can't be limited by years and numbers. You have your own unique talents, Prince.'

Leonhard's eyes flicker up, then glance away again. 'Heine… How old are you?'

Now it's my turn to cough.

'You're so small!' 'You look like a child but you're a grownup, right?…' '…How do you know Father?' 'How old are you?'

I'll never hear the end of it from this lot, will I?

I push my glasses up. 'We're not talking about me, Prince, we are talking about you.'

'But I want to know!' Leonhard protests.

I don't need to look, but I do anyway—yes, he's pouting.

'And I want some semblance of privacy like any other adult.'

'Tell me! …Please?'

I blink. Then sigh. If it will help him through this crisis, my own privacy is a small sacrifice.

'I'm forty-five years-old, Highness.'

…Silence. Leonhard's jaw drops.

Though physically impossible, I think the planet stopped spinning on its axis for a moment.

Leonhard finally explodes, and says, 'What the blazes!?'

'Could you be more specific in your question, Prince?'

'I don't think I heard right—f-forty-five?!'

'Yes?'

He stares at me for a minute. Then he manages a weak laugh. '…You're kidding, right?'

I cross my arms. '…And may I ask why you find this so preposterous?'

'Y-You don't look old. That old, I mean,' he stammers.

I stiffen. My height, I imagine. 'You have an overwhelming talent for stating the obvious, Prince.'

'Hey!' Leonhard looks me up and down, and I fight the urge to walk off. 'I mean, you're short, but…'

'Short?'

Leonhard flinches. 'Ah. You don't like that, do y—' One look at my face and he changes tack. 'But you look… young. Height aside. Really. Are you really forty-five?'

Footsteps, and Bruno appears in the archway between the balcony and the corridor. 'Ah, Master—and Leonhard,' he adds, shifting the stack of books and papers in his arms to get a better grip. 'I was coming to ask Master's opinion on what university engagements I should commit to… What are you doing up here? Mathematics?'

Leonhard blinks. 'Eh? Oh, no. I was asking Heine how old he was.'

I force myself not to grimace. As I expected, the situation is snowballing rapidly. I don't think I'm going to have any peace until my age is brought before the Council for open discussion, at this rate.

Bruno sighs. 'Leonhard, that's rude. You shouldn't inquire as to a person's age.'

'But he's not a girl! Isn't that the rule?'

'It is considered rude to ask anyone their age,' I say, 'however, it tends to offend women more, particularly young ladies.'

'You're such a teacher,' Leonhard grumbles. And out of the blue, he says to Bruno, 'Heine says he's forty-five.'

Bruno visibly blanches, and a sheaf of papers whirls to the floor. 'Ah—f-forgive me, Master, I was taken by surprise.' I say nothing, and Bruno keeps talking, gesturing and shedding papers and notes with each word. 'Of course, it's only natural that a teacher with as much skill and knowledge as yourself wouldn't be young, as such superiority only comes with time and age—'

Leonhard looks up, and asks, 'How do people even have that many words in them? Do they eat dictionaries?'

'Your brother does make one wonder,' I admit.

A strangling noise explodes in the corridor, and all three of us jump. The sound dissolves into a fit of laughter, and Licht walks through the archway, eyes sparkling with tears. 'Good grief, you kids are hilarious!'

'We are all older than you, Prince Licht,' I stab, but he doesn't even heed me.

He strolls over to me and picks me up like a doll. Bruno mutters behind us, as Licht steps on the papers scattered over the marble. '…Licht…'

'Ah, I'll help pick 'em up in a minute,' Licht says, cuddling me like a toy.

'That's not the issue, Lichie,' Bruno snaps. 'You are getting bootprints all over them.'

Licht's affections are starting to impede my respiratory capabilities. 'Prince Licht…'

'What were you all talking about?' Licht asks.

'You should know, seeing as you were eavesdropping. You shouldn't lurk in hallways, brother mine,' Bruno scolds. 'Announce yourself like a decent human being.'

Licht scoffs. 'How else am I meant to come across all the juicy secrets in my possession, then?'

'I don't even want to know where you pick up such crude phrasing,' Bruno snaps.

Licht sets me down and throws his shoulders back. 'From books, as a matter of fact!'

'My word, you can read? I'm speechless.'

'You're still prattling, so that's clearly not the case. Aside, I read when I want to. Certain kinds of books.'

'Those books are only pictures—!'

An earsplitting crash and the whole balcony shudders. A hand rests on either side of the archway, and faint cracks spider across the marble from beneath gloved fingers.

'BEHAVE!' Prince Kai thunders.

And our whole ensemble is rendered silent.

'I've said it before, but you make a most effective intermediary, Prince Kai,' I say, dusting myself off.

Kai half-smiles, then his gaze turns inquisitive. 'What's… everyone doing here?'

'I have no idea!' Licht said brightly, and plops down on the floor, dragging me on to his lap as if I were the palace dog. 'It seems I was late to the party.' His gaze hardens, and he casually says to Leonhard, 'Leonhard, what's the go?'

'Oh… I was asking Heine how old he was.' Everyone looks at him. 'Which apparently was rude.'

And now I'm the centre of attention. 'Ooh, now I'm curious!' Licht says. He squeezes my shoulders and begs, 'Tell me, tell meee!'

'No,' I say, flatly.

'Aw,' Licht pouts. 'Tell me!'

'We are all entitled to our secrets, Prince.' And that effectively shuts him up.

For one moment. Before he asks Leonhard, 'Do you know?'

'Yes.'

'Stop—'

'Leonhard!'

'Tell me!'

'Prince—'

'Licht!'

'Forty-five,' Leonhard blurts, then claps a hand over his mouth. 'Oops.'

I sigh. That was inevitable.

'Forty-five!?' Licht shrieks. Then he practically squashes me with a hug. 'You're kidding me! But you look so young—and your hair and skin are perfect!'

Kai kneels beside us, and gently squeezes one of my hands. 'It's true… Teacher looks young… and cute.'

'I can't believe I'm jealous of a fifty-year-old's looks and I'm only fourteen,' Licht complains.

'Forty-five,' I correct.

Bruno adjusts his glasses, and heaves a sigh. 'Stop making such a fuss, you two. You know that Master doesn't like people discussing his physicality.'

'Ooh, you and your twenty-cent words. I think I need a dictionary,' Licht teases.

'I think you would know the meaning of physicality, Licht,' Bruno retorts.

'But anyway, we're not even discussing his height!'

Leonhard fidgets, then presses his hands against the marble floor and looks at me. 'Don't you get sick of it? Of all this?' He flushes, and drops his gaze. 'I mean, I am and they're not even talking about me.'

Awkward silence. 'Yes. Who wouldn't?'

'…Oh. Sorry, Heine-darling,' Licht says, and decides now would be a good time to let me go.

I kneel beside him, and try to think how best to continue. 'I'm always going to be called out for attention. It's inevitable. I'm mistaken for a child frequently, and people often don't believe me when I say I'm an adult. But what's the point in being bitter? It's not going to effect any kind of change.' I stand up, and lean against the balcony rail. 'And comparatively speaking, being called small and cute is more pleasant than being called a dumbkoff gutte urchene.'

'What?!' Leonhard explodes. 'But why would someone—'

'People don't like being proved wrong. And as the royal tutor, I'm in the habit of proving people wrong.'

This gets a smile from all of them. 'But still,' I say. 'Even though you four can be self-centred and rude and have no sense of personal space or privacy… You mean well. Thank you.'

'…Gee, thanks,' Licht says. I suppress a smile. Most of that was directed at him and judging by everyone's faces, they know it.

'But… Won't you ever become taller?' Leonhard asks.

Bruno sharply taps him on the head with the sheaf of papers he's been gathering from the floor. 'Leonhard, you're being dense. Master just explained at great personal—'

I wave him off. 'It's fine, Prince Bruno.' I turn back to Leonhard. 'We haven't got to biology studies in your school work yet, but for most boys, they achieve the maximum of their height in their teenage years.'

'Ooh, biology? That sounds interesting—'

Bruno smacks Licht upside the head. 'Licht, wash your mouth out and return to this conversation sober, or I will push you over the balcony myself!'

'I'm not even old enough to drink!'

Leonhard and I both exchange a look.

'Maybe you could wear stilts?' Leonhard asks.

'I'm perfectly happy the way I am, Highness.'

'O-Of course, but… Maybe people wouldn't be all over you, is what I mean. F-For a change.'

'We all have our own personal problems, Prince Leonhard.' He leans on the balcony rail beside me. 'You struggle with your grades and have obsessive compulsive tendencies, Bruno overworks himself, Licht has a bottomless pit in the place of moral character, and Kai has a tendency to be distracted by soft fluffy things.'

A few protests meet my statement. 'Well, yes, but we can change those things,' Licht says, scuffing his toe on the marble. 'I mean, I'm perfectly happy with my moral character and everyone tells me I'm pure gold, heaven-sent. But… you…'

'I can't do anything about my height,' I say, bluntly. 'It doesn't matter. My point is that we all have our problems, but we don't let our lives revolve around them. Nor is it necessary to do so.'

I pause, then decide the best tactic is to lay my cards on the table and just be done with it. 'Unusual physical characteristics are caused by genetics.'

'Professor Mendell's work?' Bruno asks, startled.

'Where's the pointer and the, "It's time for a lesson!" Teach?' Licht asks. 'Or does that only apply to personal crises?'

I ignore him and respond to Bruno. 'Yes. His work isn't very well known yet, but I was curious. Genetic differences are caused by differences in chromosomes, the genetic code that makes us who we are. It's likely the same chromosome defect that caused my… height also caused my young appearance. In short.'

'W-what—but there isn't something wrong with you!' Startled, I turn to Leonhard. He's fidgeting, and agitated.

'My height is not typical, therefore it is caused by a defect,' I say, turning back.

Leonhard grabs my arm and turns me back. 'I-I don't care, that's stupid!'

'Leonie!' Licht hisses.

'A defect? T-That's not fair!' Leonhard finally says.

Fair. How… naively charming. 'Life isn't fair, Leonhard. Besides, 'defect' is a scientific term. Depending on your outlook, something others might consider to be incorrect can be a good thing.'

'Like Kai?' Licht asks.

Bruno clenches his jaw. 'Licht, that is by far the rudest thing you've said and you've been running your mouth the whole time.'

'Sorry, Brother,' Licht says, and Kai nods. 'I mean, his eyes. We don't see them as a bad thing, that's just how he is. And Bruno is a big-headed small-hearted know-it-all and—'

'That is a character-flaw and not a physical issue!' Bruno explodes.

While they argue as to whether you can blame personality traits on chromosomes, I turn back to Leonhard. 'I see you can be sensitive in some situations, Prince. That trait will serve you well.'

Leonhard blushes. 'Oh, thanks… I-I wasn't even trying, I just… It sounded awful, hearing someone talk about themselves that way. It didn't feel fair.'

I shrug. 'Life isn't fair, Prince Leonhard.'

'So you're just going to live with it?!'

'Do I have a choice?'

Leonhard turns scarlet. 'I-I'm sorry—'

'No, I know what you were trying to say. One can be upset about their problems, or they can have perspective.'

I squeeze his hand.

Then Licht places a hand on my shoulder, and we jump. 'Hey, Teach… We really are obnoxious brats, aren't we?'

'Well, you may be, Licht, but Kai and I on the other hand actually had virtually nothing to do with this!' Bruno says, his stack of books and papers gathered up again. He offers me a small bow. 'Still, I apologise for my younger brothers' appalling behaviour.'

'I'm gonna apologise myself!'

'And I've already apologised!'

'Still,' Licht says, 'Sorry, Teach. I'm surprised you don't just give up and leave sometimes.'

'What—Master leave!?' Bruno panics.

'I'm not going anywhere,' I say, cutting off any further hysterics. 'This is my home now. And yes, surprisingly, I've grown somewhat attached to all four of you.'

'Well, naturally, Heine-darling!'

'I-I guess…'

'Me too, Teacher.'

'And you have my undying loyalty until the end of time!'

Licht bursts out laughing, and Bruno stiffens. 'Licht...'

'Well, we've spent an inordinate amount of time out here, so I hope you learned something from it,' I say, heading for the archway.

The four of them look at me questioningly. Then, I see a light snap on in Leonhard's eyes. 'Age doesn't matter. Or size!' he adds brightly.

'Leonhard!' Bruno, Licht, and Kai yell.

I bite back a smile. 'Well spoken.'

And I make my exit.

I can still hear the four of them, their muffled voices echoing down the corridor after me. I pass more balconies, studded along the halls at regular intervals, but something makes me stop.

I check the boys are out of earshot, then part the curtains.

The King of Glanzreich is behind them.

'You have the hearing of a cat, Heine.'

'I should have been more alert,' I say, glancing past him. Yes, I can see the boys from here. I should have realised someone was watching us. It seems my subconscious refuses to see Viktor as a threat. Which is only fair, seeing as he's the only person I can trust.

Victor opens his mouth to speak, but I shake my head.

I wait, watching until the boys leave the balcony, then I step in, letting the curtains fall closed behind me.

Again, Victor starts to talk, but I swipe my fingers across my neck and back into a corner.

Running footsteps, laughs, and the princes run right past us, completely unaware.

'Still as careful as ever.'

'You know the reason full well, Viktor.'

After a silence, Viktor says, 'I didn't mean to eavesdrop, but I was waiting to speak to you.'

'The kingdom's been tipped on its head,' I mutter, looking out over the palace grounds. 'A king waiting for an audience with a commoner.'

Victor doesn't respond. I start to turn, but I gasp, as Victor pulls me into an embrace.

'Victor!' I hiss, trying to fight him off.

'No one can see.'

And it's true. He's between me railing, between me and everyone who might see.

Between me and anyone who might discover the truth.

I don't want to give in, I don't want to let my guard down, but… I don't want to fight him off.

I stop resisting, and let my fingers cautiously rest below his shoulder blades.

'I'm sorry, Heine.'

'What for?'

'I put you through too far too much.'

'…The princes are easier to deal with than most people I come across.'

'That wasn't what I was referring to. But if you wish I can talk to them and—'

'Don't be ridiculous.'

'Still. I know I expect a lot from you.'

'Of course. I'm the royal tutor. You committed your sons to my care and I—'

'Heine.' His grip tightens. 'Please. Talk to me. Not as your king. As your friend.'

'I'm fine, Viktor. Truly. This is just how I am. I have to be the grounded, unemotional one to counteract you and your sons' outrageous emotional instability.'

Victor laughs.

'You're crying, Viktor.'

He coughs. 'Maybe.'

'And what did I just say?' I reprimand. 'And… what was your real reason for coming to find me?'

'I just wanted to talk to you. And I haven't been able to thank you without my sons around. Thank you, Heine. I know no better person to be by their side.'

'That's not true, Viktor. I'm the worst possible choice—I'm jeopardising their futures just by being here. I'm not a good person, Viktor,' I add quietly. 'I'm not compassionate, and I have very little patience.'

Viktor lets me go, and grips my shoulders. 'Do you even hear yourself, Heine? If you're as callous and cold-hearted as you say, explain to me why my sons—who have given over twenty individual royal tutors the boot—love you as much as they do?' Viktor half-smiles. 'I may not be the best parent but I know them that much.' He brushes away a few tears.

I compose myself, and fall back to my default move. 'Viktor. Get a grip.'

He protests, then sighs. 'My apologies. It's just…' He rests a hand on my shoulder. 'I'm glad you're here, Heine. It's been a long time.'

And his slips through the curtains, and out of sight.

I rest my elbows on the balcony rail. This is just how I am. It's true. I know I frustrate people with the way I act. My silences, and emotionlessness. But I have my reasons.

I'm already looking for tell-tale glints of viewing glasses, or moving curtains. I pray nobody saw Viktor's outburst.

Because then the careful tapestry we've woven will come crashing down.

The End

A/N: Reviews welcome, and thanks for reading!