Five Times People Had the Wrong Idea about Gavin Reed and One Time They Were Right

A/N: My dearest friend said that because of the relatively meagre canonical presence of Gavin Reed he has this huge fanon going for him which is full of clichés, and she told me she wanted to see these clichés turned on their heads. Also, we somehow arrived to the "5+1 things" pattern, which I had never done before, but thought would be a real fun to try. And it was, so here we go.

RK900 suspected he would face difficulties when working with his new human partner even before actually meeting the man, given the way Connor frowned when RK900 told him the news.

"He is irascible, hot-tempered and unpredictable. Working with him will be a challenge," the older android warned him.

Soon enough, RK900 was able to form his own impression of the detective.

"Not another fucking tin can," was the only thing Gavin Reed said – or rather gritted through his teeth when he saw RK900 approach him, promptly leaving for the Chief's office before the android even had a chance to introduce himself to him.

In less than a minute, the detective exited Fowler's office with a thunderous expression on his face and left the station altogether for the day. It was not difficult to imagine what had just happened – he went to the Chief to ask for RK900 to be assigned as a partner to someone else, and was refused.

Connor went up to RK900, who was by that point still standing rigidly next to Gavin Reed's desk, feeling at a complete loss, put a hand on his elbow and steered him to the break room.

"Have I offended Detective Reed in some capacity?" RK900 couldn't help but say aloud once they were alone, away from the prying eyes, even though he was sure he couldn't have done anything of the sort in the 5.6 seconds his and Reed's interaction lasted.

Connor sighed, which was a peculiarly human gesture. He seemed to have assimilated himself into the human society well. Perhaps too well for RK900's liking; he himself took pride in being an android and didn't plan to act like a human anytime soon. Especially if acting like a human meant throwing childish tantrums.

"It's not you. He just doesn't like androids. But I have the feeling that his dislike extends to humans as well," Connor explained.

"What does he like, then?" RK900 asked. He was aware his question was a little strange, much too broad to have any clear-cut answer. But so far he had been given nothing to work with, nothing to base a proper analysis on. Connor seemed to understand that, as he replied:

"Coffee, maybe? He asked me to make him one, when we first met. But to be honest, he did it so he could spill it down my shirt, so maybe that doesn't really count. But he seems to drink it often enough."

RK900 made a mental note. Fact no. 1: Detective Gavin Reed likes coffee.

"What else?" he asked.

"I'm sorry, but I didn't really spent that much time analyzing him," Connor said with a slightly apologetic smile.

RK900 might be new to all this deviant-free will-emotions business, but even he could guess that were he to ask Connor about Lieutenant Anderson's likes and dislikes, he would get a much longer list. And not just because the two of them worked as partners and lived together.

Just as RK900 thought of the Lieutenant, the man chose to appear in the break room, clasping a hand on Connor's shoulder and sending a quizzical look between the two androids.

"RK900 wants to know more about Detective Reed. We're currently discussing his personal preferences," Connor told him.

Lieutenant Anderson blinked in surprise.

"Like, for what?"

"Anything, really," RK900 ventured on his own. "So far we have only established that he enjoys a lot of coffee."

"I guess he does, but that's almost a given in a cop," Hank commented. "I mean, if you're not-" he started to say before censoring himself. RK900 could, however, easily picture the unsaid words.

A machine. Inhuman.

It was a proof how much influence Connor held over the man that he began to choose his words more carefully, mindful of androids' feelings. RK900 found it actually a little unnecessary in this case, as androids really did not need coffee or any other beverages; there was little point in pretending otherwise.

"Never mind," the Lieutenant finished lamely. "Gavin's a smoker. He takes a lot of breaks here at the station and always comes back reeking like an overflowing ashtray."

"Concurred," said Detective Ben Collins upon his entry in the room. Being the remarkably perceptive police officer he was, he had no trouble guessing what their conversation was about.

"He always keeps a cigarette stuck behind his ear when he goes out on his break. Such an old-school habit, don't you think? I mean, apart from Gavin, I've only really seen it done in old movies," Detective Collins mused.

Fact no. 2: Detective Gavin Reed likes smoking, RK900 noted.

"What does he like to eat?" RK900 asked the present company.

"As I'm not his mom, I don't really know, but I can tell you that last Friday at Morty's, he polished a huge plate of spare ribs all by himself," Detective Collins informed him. Hank's eyes got a little glazed at hearing that.

"You mean those extra saucy beef ribs with the honey and lemon-"

"With the sauce, yes," Detective Collins said and grimaced as if in great pain.

The two men then exchanged a longing look, which RK900 later learned was caused by Detective Collins being prevented from enjoying the said dish by high cholesterol and Lieutenant Anderson by Connor. At the present moment, RK900 added another information to his list.

Fact no. 3: Detective Gavin Reed indulges in unhealthy food.

…

The first two items on RK900's list got confirmed soon enough. When they were working at the station, the android noticed that Detective Reed really did make a lot of trips to the coffee maker and almost as many trips to the roof with a cigarette stuck behind his ear, coming back with a strong odor of tobacco clinging to his clothes. As for the third one, though, he had no means of verifying it, as the detective took all his meals outside the station.

The only time he observed Gavin Reed eating was when they stayed in a car together for several hours during a stakeout; the item in question was a protein bar, which was neither here nor there as far as healthy eating goes. He decided to ask Officer Tina Chen, whom, he noticed, Detective Reed seemed to seek out for conversation most often out of everyone.

"Can you tell me Detective Reed's favorite foods?" RK900 asked without a preamble after he approached her on Gavin Reed's rare day off.

"The hell?" she said with an unattractive frown. "Why do you wanna know?"

"I'm trying to improve our teamwork," RK900 explained matter-of-factly.

"By cooking for Gavin?" she said in clear disbelief.

"I didn't say that; I merely want to understand him better, for the benefit of our working relationship," the android provided her with additional explanation.

Officer Chen was still eyeing him with suspicion, but then seemed to reach a conclusion that divulging Gavin Reed's culinary preferences couldn't possibly do much harm.

"Whatever. It's burgers, I think. Or ribs," was what she deigned to tell him.

"That's not very healthy," RK900 remarked.

"Well, it's pub food, so whad'ya expect? For all I know, he might live of vegetables and tofu when he's at home, but when we hang out together, it's burgers or ribs. Things that, you know, go great with booze."

"He drinks alcohol at pubs?" RK900 asked in confirmation.

Officer Chen looked at him as though he suddenly sprouted another head.

"Dude. I know you're an android, but you do know what a pub is, right?"

RK900 scoffed at her attitude.

"I've been told that some people just enjoy the ambience," he said a little haughtily.

"Well, Gavin's not one of those people," Officer Chen retorted in a voice that left no room for argument.

RK900 frowned as he mentally adjusted his Gavin Reed fact no. 3, so it now said Detective Gavin Reed indulges in unhealthy food and alcoholic beverages.

"For someone with such unhealthy habits, he seems fit enough," he commented aloud.

More than enough, actually; the speed and agility with which Reed moved when they chased a suspect over rooftops a few days ago left him astonished, especially considering the man smoked.

Speaking of which, he never resorted to smoking when they were outside of the station. Which was… kind of strange, when you thought about it. When they were on that stakeout, stuck in a car for hours with nothing to do, RK900 would think that a smoker would find that a perfect opportunity to engage in his vice, yet Detective Reed was instead furiously chewing on what appeared to be a mint-flavored gum. As RK900 found out he didn't much care for cigarette smoke, he was grateful for that, but he was sure that it could not have been for his benefit.

"He works out, of course," Officer Chen interrupted his musings. "You can see him going to the gym almost every day. Too bad it doesn't seem to help him blow off much steam," she concluded and turned back to her terminal, signaling the end of their conversation.

Fact no. 4: Detective Gavin Reed likes working out in a gym, RK900 wrote down, finding himself happy that the detective should have at least one not self-destructive habit.

…

"I fucking hate this printer," Lieutenant Anderson growled as he stared at a page full of jumbled ink blots which was supposed to be a case report.

"Is it broken because you stuck your dick into it, Hank? Because I heard that's what you do with machines," Gavin Reed, who had been passing by, said with a snigger.

The Lieutenant gave him a thoroughly unimpressed look and then went back to trying to print his document without a word. Had Connor been present, RK900 suspected that Hank could have been goaded into a fight, but as his android partner was away from the station at the moment, the Lieutenant just brushed the childish insult off.

Reed went off in an obvious dissatisfaction that his needling didn't get any reaction out of the senior officer, presumably to find someone else to pester.

Since Wednesday morning, he had been downright insufferable. RK900 thought it might be connected to the fact that a murder suspect escaped them on the said Wednesday morning, largely because Reed disregarded RK900's advice and didn't let him enter the building first, despite RK900 pointing out reasonably that he himself, with his larger and sturdier frame, was much better suited for the task.

"Like hell I'd let a rookie like you go first," Reed snorted and barged in. Only to be promptly knocked unconscious with a frying pan. Checking up Reed's vitals took RK900 some precious time the suspect used to flee them. When Reed came to himself, he berated the android for not immediately charging after the escaped man.

As though it wasn't Reed's fault to begin with, RK900 thought, reliving the indignation he felt at that moment, which however paled next to the relief that the detective ended up with just a mild concussion.

"How's this even possible? I thought this was a laser printer, for God's sake," the Lieutenant's angry voice brought RK900 back to the present. This time, the printed sheet contained just one large ink blotch perfectly placed in the middle of the paper. RK900 offered to fix the printer, which the Lieutenant gladly accepted.

"I noticed that Detective Reed often resorts to sexually charged insults," RK900 commented after he had successfully completed the task.

"Tell me what kind of insults he doesn't resort to," the Lieutenant said with a huff.

RK900 nodded to acknowledge Hank's words.

"Yet by my calculations, sexually charged insults form 88% of all of his invectives."

Hank whistled.

"You've been keeping stats?"

"I'm trying to find sensible patterns in Detective Reed's behavior," RK900 explained. Even though that was the truth, he still felt like he was omitting something. Like, his reason for doing it. True, in the beginning, he was just trying to get along and have a functional working relationship with his partner. Now, he wanted more than just that, even though he wasn't sure he understood it himself what exactly that more was – or why he would want anything from someone so… volatile.

'A bag of cats', was an expression Officer Miller used to describe Gavin Reed after being at the receiving end of a tantrum over a misplaced piece of evidence, and although RK900 found this turn of phrase absurd at first, he now thought it oddly fitting.

"Good luck with finding anything sensible about Gavin," Lieutenant Anderson snorted at present.

"So you wouldn't know why he is partial to this particular type of insults?" RK900 thought to ask.

"I'm no Freud, but I wager he likes them because he's jealous of people who are actually getting some," Hank said with a smug smirk.

"Some what?" RK900 asked, slightly inclining his head in curiosity.

Hank rolled his eyes.

"Jeez, didn't Connor explain this to you? Electric birds and bees and all that?"

RK900 stared at him in incomprehension for a little while, until he found the definition of the phrase 'birds and bees' in one of his built-in dictionaries.

"Oh. You're referring to sex."

Hank nodded, obviously relieved he didn't have to give RK900 The Talk.

"He used to have quite a reputation, picking up boys and girls wherever he could. The rumor mill's been silent for a while, though, so he's probable single now. And not happy about it," he explained to the android.

RK900 digested this piece of information, and made another mental note.

Fact no. 5: Detective Gavin Reed is addicted to sex.

He excused himself from Lieutenant Anderson's company after that, finding he needed some time alone to think about his latest discovery.

The idea of sex was not new to him, of course. A lot of crimes they were investigating were connected to it in one way of another, making RK900 understand that it was an important matter for humans. Which was a matter of course, as it was their chief means of reproduction. Even though a vast variety of sexual acts humans engaged in had little probability to lead to anyone reproducing.

Such as sex between two males, or sex between humans and androids. Or a combination of the two.

When he was entrusted into his predecessor's care upon his awakening in CyberLife just after the android revolution, the seventeen days he spent in Lieutenant Anderson's and Connor's home provided RK900 with ample evidence that his hosts had a very close relationship, sharing a household, meals and the care of the Lieutenant's unnecessarily large dog between them. Every night, the two of them would even retreat into the same bedroom.

Up to this point, however, RK900 gave little thought to what it was that they did in the said shared bedroom. He had to struggle with deviating, finding a purpose in his life and generally deciding what to do with himself, so he hardly had any time to think about his hosts, let alone in that way.

Even now, when he started to pay much more attention to the people around him, he found that he preferred to remain ignorant about Hank and Connor's bedroom activities, thank you very much. He supposed that this must be how a child would feel about his parents in this respect.

Detective Reed, on the other hand, was a completely different matter, as RK900 found his bedroomactivitiesto be of great interest. And he wasn't fooling himself anymore in thinking that he wanted this to get to know the detective better for the sake of their working partnership.

RK900 did not need much in the way of downtime. Whatever time he didn't spend working he therefore dedicated to analyzing his own thoughts and emotions. He believed that he got a better handle on those than a lot of humans did, even. This is why he now realized with crystal clarity that he was, against all odds, somehow drawn to the irritable detective.

RK900 was created with the grand purpose of bringing deviancy under control. He never got to even try to achieve this, but he was sure that getting one human being to like him should be infinitely easier by definition. And yet Gavin Reed continued to defy him, and the challenge of it was irresistible.

Too bad the last few weeks they spent working together as partners didn't bring any improvements in their relations. True, the detective refrained from any more android-specific slurs, but that was probably the result of the Chief's intervention rather than any genuine effort on Reed's part. Also, not insulting RK900 had to be easy for Reed as he chose to ignore his android partner if he could help it.

That's why RK900 decided to make use of his list, visualizing it in front of him.

Fact no. 1: Detective Gavin Reed likes coffee.
Fact no. 2: Detective Gavin Reed likes smoking.
Fact no. 3: Detective Gavin Reed indulges in unhealthy food and alcoholic beverages.
Fact no. 4: Detective Gavin Reed likes working out in a gym.
Fact no. 5: Detective Gavin Reed is addicted to sex.

Humans, he was told, enjoyed receiving things they liked, so RK900 went for gifts.

Presenting the detective with several cups of coffee and even a pack of cigarettes did not get him any favors; the detective promptly binned the cigarettes and ignored the coffee, going as far as getting up and bringing himself another one on each of the three separate occasions RK900 tried to ingratiate himself with the man by way of caffeine offerings (because even though everyone RK900 talked to agreed on the fact that Reed liked coffee, no one knew exactly how he took it, which was why the android tried three variants recommended to him by others – plain black, an overly sweet latte and a decaf – only to see all of his efforts completely ignored).

There had been, in fact, one more thing that almost everyone that tried to inform RK900 on the subject of Gavin Reed agreed on. RK900, however, found that he disliked curse words; the concept mostly consisted in comparing sentient beings to animals or their own body parts and suggesting sexual relations with familial members, animals or inanimate objects, which struck him as both baffling and immature. That's why he did not add 'Detective Gavin Reed is an asshole' as a fact no. 6, but that didn't prevent the words from appearing on his list all the same, without his consent. Highlighted and underlined. Twice.

The fact no. 6, however, did nothing to deter RK900 from his dogged efforts to get Gavin Reed to like him.

He even thought of stepping up his game and leaving out bottles of expensive liquor, boxes of greasy burgers that 'smelled like heaven' according to Lieutenant Anderson (who, under Connor's watchful eye, mostly had to content himself with smelling such things these days) and gold membership cards to some of the most popular gyms in Detroit, but eventually decided against it.

Because to see all of these things disposed of in this manner would be not only hurtful, but also extremely humiliating. An extra cup of coffee on Gavin Reed's desk might go unnoticed by his fellow officers, but any more lavish gifts would surely attract some unwanted attention.

Unfortunately, RK900 couldn't think of anything else to do. He considered asking Hank and Connor for advice, but that, too, was embarrassing. He was supposed to be better than his predecessor, yet he failed to make his partner have as much as a civil conversation with him, let alone anything more.

So in the end he just bided his time, hoping for some kind of opportunity to present itself.

Then one rather uneventful day in terms of new crimes, it did. Gavin Reed was suddenly called to the Chief's office and left his coffee sitting on his desk, unguarded. This, as improbable as it may sound, had not happened before; when none of the recommendations for Reed's coffee preferences worked out, RK900 naturally thought of sampling the detective's coffee to find out for himself. Yet this proved to be quite an impossible task, for Reed as a rule never left his mug alone when he left his desk, opting instead to take it with him wherever he went.

So this time, as soon as Reed was out of sight, RK900 seized the opportunity and took a sip of the abandoned coffee.

He might not have taste buds as such, but his analysis skills served him well in this regard. And now they informed him that the sweet beverage he had just ingested was not coffee at all.

Fact no. 1: Detective Gavin Reed likes cocoa.

It was such a little, insignificant detail, yet for some reason it made R900 think of a thread becoming loose, a thread that had the potential to cause the whole tapestry to unravel.

Soon after his talk to the Chief, about which he once again didn't say a single word to the android, Detective Reed headed out to the roof with a cigarette behind his ear. RK900 waited precisely two minutes before following him there.

Until today, he had never done so because he was sure such a course of action would be unwelcome. Yet something possessed him to do it now. Maybe this was the so-called gut feeling he had heard a lot about from the human officers, one that even Connor told him he started to experience from time to time.

Detective Reed was leaning against the snow-covered railing, gazing at the city skyline while white puffs escaped his lips. It was the first time RK900 saw him like this, looking completely at peace. Normally his body was full of tension, coiled like a spring ready to explode at the slightest pressure. Even his face had changed in repose; when his features were not warped into any sort of frown, grimace or a mocking smirk, they looked strangely alluring.

Up to this point, RK900 had thought of Gavin Reed as a challenge to surmount. Now, it was as though he was seeing the man himself for the first time, and he liked what he saw.

RK900 was so taken aback by this discovery that it took him a moment to process that the white puffs he had noticed were actually just breath condensed into mist and, unlike a group of people a few feet to his right, Gavin Reed was not, in fact, smoking.

The cigarette he left with was still behind his ear, and RK900 realized there was something a little off about it. He came closer and plucked it from behind Reed's ear on impulse.

Reed's reflexes were remarkably fast for a human, but he was still at disadvantage against the most advanced prototype CyberLife had ever made, so he was a fraction too late to stop the android from putting the cigarette into his mouth. And licking it.

Reed's eyes widened in comical surprise.

"What the fuck're you doin'?" he sputtered, and all the smokers on the right turned to look at them with unhidden interest, clearly expecting some sort of scene.

"This is not a cigarette. It's a cigarette-shaped chewing gum," RK900 said coolly.

The detective's facial features twisted in a way that suggested a battle between annoyance and amusement. In the end, amusement seemed to have won out.

"Well observed, robocop," he said with a glint in his eyes.

"But why-" RK900 started to ask, but was rapidly interrupted.

"I don't have to explain myself to you, Nines. Now give it back," the detective commanded, and RK900 handed him the requested item.

Absolutely baffled by the mystery that was Gavin Reed, RK900 then left the roof.

Fact no. 2: Detective Gavin Reed likes going out on the roof?

…

Nines nines nines, something kept chanting inside RK900's Nines's head as he tried, for the umpteenth time, to focus on the report in front of him.

This had never happened to him before. In theory he was supposed to be able to run several dozens of independent thought processes simultaneously, but right now, all his capacities somehow ended up being used for repeating that single word and pondering about its significance.

Following Detective Reed on the roof had, improbably enough, seemed to have a positive impact on their relationship, even earning the android a name he could claim as his own now. Because that was what happened – the designation column in his mind, which had previously read simply 'RK900' now spelled 'Nines'. From the beginning, he had been opposed to adopting a human name, because he had no intention of pretending to be human, but 'Nines' wasn't exactly a human name, now was it?

Some hours later, when he saw Detective Reed grab his gym bag and head out, he decided to follow him again, paying extra care not to be noticed.

Reed didn't go to the gym right away, instead stopping at a small Thai bistro a few blocks from the station. Nines hid in the shadow of the bus stop right at the corner of the restaurant, waiting for Detective Reed to reappear.

It was early February and the weather was bitterly cold and windy. Nines was glad he did not feel cold the way humans did, as many passed him huddled in a way that reminded the android of turtles trying to retract their heads into their shells. He inspected the slightly faded Thai writings on the front wall of the restaurant, engaging the respective dictionary to find out the translations of the offered dishes.

To his surprise, they were all vegetarian; no burgers or ribs whatsoever could be had at this place.

Fact no. 3: Detective Gavin Reed indulges in unhealthy food and alcoholic beverages AND vegetarian Thai food? INCONCLUSIVE, MORE EVIDENCE NEEDED!

After a short while, Gavin Reed left the bistro and Nines followed suit. They soon reached a two story building painted in bright yellow and pink hues. There were no signs to indicate what kind of facility this was; it certainly looked like none of those renowned gyms Nines researched when he thought of gifting the detective with a gold membership card.

Nines waited three minutes after the detective disappeared inside of the building and then followed. Limited though his experience with gyms was, he was sure they did not usually contain dimly lit halls with tasseled curtains and a smell he analyzed as sandalwood incense.

Before he could make sense of his surroundings, he was approached by a small, elderly Indian lady who smiled at him in an encouraging manner.

"Do you want to try out yoga, sweetheart?" she asked him.

"I am not sure-" androids can practice yoga, Nines wanted to say, but the lady was already talking again:

"My daughter's teaching a class right now, you might take a look from the gallery and see for yourself," she said a went further down the hall, beckoning him to follow her up the narrow staircase leading to the upper floor.

Nines's knowledge about yoga was almost non-existent; he just knew it was some sort of physical exercise meant to stretch and relax the human body, but he had never seen it actually performed.

So naturally he took the chance to do it now; it was beneficial to learn as much about various human activities as possible, especially in his line of work, wasn't it?

But he couldn't deny that the fact that he would see Gavin Reed engaging in this particular human activity held by far the biggest sway over his decision.

"This is an advanced class, so don't feel intimidated," the little Indian lady told him when they reached the gallery above. "We have beginners on Mondays and Thursdays."

Nines looked at the hall below with avid interest. At the front, there was the teacher, a woman in her fifties with strong resemblance to the lady standing next to him. Then there were the students – twelve women and four men, including Detective Reed.

Fact no. 4: Detective Gavin Reed likes yoga.

The detective was wearing a pair of loose fitting black pants and a grey tank-top which showed the strong, wiry muscles on his arms. Once Nines singled him out from the crowd, he couldn't tear his eyes from him, only barely registering the information on various poses the yoga teacher's mother kept supplying for his benefit.

The movements seemed simple, yet Nines was sure he wouldn't be able to copy them, and it wasn't just a question of different anatomies.

In this classroom, Gavin Reed looked… serene. Graceful. Beautiful, even, Nines thought, feeling an unfamiliar hotness flowing into his cheeks.

The elderly lady noticed this and unfailingly sought out the cause of Nines's embarrassment.

"Oh honey, you should've said you're here for Gavin," she whispered conspiratorially and gave him a playful swat on the arm. Nines blushed even harder, feeling completely mortified.

"I won't bother you anymore, then," the Indian lady said with a knowing smile and headed off to the stairs.

"I'm sorry I-" Nines started to say, but she turned back and shushed him with a flick of one heavily ringed hand.

"Don't apologize. He's such a complete treasure, that one. I confess I watch him myself from time to time," she said with a wink before descending the stairs.

Nines still felt embarrassed about being found out, but went back to watching the detective all the same.

Seeing him like this contradicted everything Nines thought he knew about the man; the tapestry was coming completely unraveled by now.

…

When the lesson ended, Nines went out and once again waited in the shadows for Gavin Reed to reemerge. He counted fifteen people, mostly exiting in groups of two or three while chatting about their respective lives.

The detective was the last to appear, which was convenient because there was no one left to witness how Nines all but leapt in front of the man, forcing him to back against the wall and effectively trapping him between his arms.

"What d'ya want, Nines?"Gavin Reed asked, his lips crooking in an ironic smile. He didn't really look surprised to see the android there; the elderly lady might have told him something. Or he was just that good at noticing when he was being followed. Nines actually thought it was the latter, because no matter his character flaws, Nines had learned that the human detective was astonishingly good at his job (the frying pan incident aside).

Hearing his new name spoken again in Reed's slightly gravelly voice sent a shiver down the android's spine.

"I want to understand you," Nines said, which was a partial truth.

"I'm not a fucking puzzle for your shiny processors to crack. Let me go," the detective spat out and tried to remove one of Nines's arms with a clear intention to leave.

"No," Nines told him simply, marveling at the growling quality his own voice seemed to acquire.

"It's not all I want," he spoke up, still in that low, animal-like voice he didn't know he was capable of producing. "I want you."

Detective Reed's Gavin's dark eyes got a little wide at hearing this, which made something hot coil in Nines's insides. Desire, he identified it with awe. Then, however, the man had the gall to twist his lips into a knowing smirk and say:

"I suspected as much."

"But... how?" Nines asked, dumbfounded. He only realized this just today; how could have Gavin possibly known before Nines himself did?

"The gifts were kind of a dead giveaway," was Gavin's dry retort.

"But you didn't want them!" Nines accused him. "You threw away the cigarettes and ignored the coffee!"

"By now, you might've noticed that I don't really like either of those things," Gavin said with a lopsided grin.

"You could have said something," Nines said, still in an accusatory manner.

"It was fun to watch you try to suck up to me," Gavin shrugged.

"You really are an asshole," slipped out of Nines before he could stop it. It earned him the first genuine chuckle he had ever heard from Gavin.

The sound undid something in Nines; he felt weightless, afloat as a hot-air balloon as he leaned forward to kiss his human partner.

And Gavin let him, allowing Nines to explore his mouth with his tongue, nibble at his lower lip, run his fingers through his hair. Gavin even put his hands on Nines's hips, bringing him closer.

All these novel sensations made Nines feel like he was going to overheat any minute now. Kissing Gavin was wonderful, but Nines felt an overwhelming need to do something more. Something Gavin had said a moment ago provided inspiration as to what that might be; he sank down to his knees and went straight for the zipper of Gavin's pants.

"You wanted to see me sucking up to you?" he said huskily while peering at Gavin, being fully aware it was a terrible pun. So terrible, actually, that it reminded Nines of the innuendo-laden invectives Gavin himself liked to use, so he shouldn't have any objections to that.

It turned out that Gavin did have objections, but of a completely different nature.

"Hold on, cowboy," the detective growled as he caught both of Nines's hands into his own before Nines could proceed with turning his words into deeds. "Not in front of Mrs. Chakrabarti's classroom," he told Nines firmly, forcing the android back into a standing position.

"If we go behind this corner, there is an abandoned-looking alley I think would be perfect for-" Nines started to offer eagerly, but Gavin stopped him mid-sentence with a decisive shake of his head.

"This is actually a little too fast for me. I'm more of the third-date-rule kind of guy. Plus, you might've not noticed, but it's February and it's fucking freezing," Gavin explained pointedly.

The android's brows furrowed in puzzlement.

"But I thought you-" Nines started to say before the realization dawned. "Oh. It's one of those things, isn't it?"

"What things?" Gavin asked him, looking just as puzzled as Nines did a moment ago.

"The completely untrue things you make people think about you," Nines told him.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Gavin said with an unreadable expression. "But if you want, you could take me to dinner tomorrow after work."

Nines wanted that very much.

…

Later, Nines's list will look like this:

Fact no. 1: Detective Gavin Reed likes cocoa because it helps to calm him down.

Fact no. 2: Detective Gavin Reed goes out on the roof whenever he feels like he is about to snap.

Fact no. 3: Detective Gavin Reed indulges in unhealthy food and alcoholic beverages on a rare occasion but mostly keeps a well-balanced, healthy diet.

Fact no. 4: Detective Gavin Reed likes yoga because it improves his balance, both physical and mental.

Fact no. 5: Detective Gavin Reed likes sex just like any other healthy human male.

Even later, the fifth item will be changed to Detective Gavin Reed REALLY likes sexWITH NINES.

Much later, Nines will ask about the reason Gavin lets people harbor misconceptions about him, to be told 'just for kicks', but as his knowledge of the real Gavin Reed increases, he will start to suspect a completely different reason.

After all, a person consisting completely of falsehoods cannot be hurt.

About that time, the last item on the list will say:

Fact no 6: Detective Gavin Reed is an asshole, BUT HE'S MINE.

A/N: So this is it! It was not a hardship to write, expect for Gavin's yoga class. That was a pain in the ass because a) I don't really like yoga b) even my imagination has limits. But I tried! Any comments are very welcome.