Jori Holidays.

Writer: Invader Johnny.

Disclaimer: Victorious belongs to Dan Schneider, I own squat!

Plot: Both Jade and Tori never had normal holidays growing up and now that they're together even less so, join them as they go through their first celebrations as a married couple, from Halloween to X-Mas and so on, one thing is certain, no festivity is safe.

In this first chapter we'll see Jade and Tori's first Halloween as a married couple and unfortunately, Jade had a terrible time at work, will her wife be able to calm her down before the trick or treaters come knocking?

Author Notes: Happy Halloween to all my fellow Jori shippers! Dunno how all of you celebrate this time but, in my case, I happen to think the best way to live it up is to watch some scary movies or spend time with friends at a party or read some Halloween stories, I decided to up the ante by writing one instead for all of you.

Be warned, prepare for Jade to be in a very bad mood, LOL.

Anyways read, review and most of all enjoy this little saga!

The front door of the West household slammed open, Tori knew right then and there that her lovely wife had just arrived and in a very foul mood.

"Another day." Jade snarled. "Another reason to fucking hate people."

"Hi to you too baby." Tori greeted with an eye roll while also carving a Jack o' Lantern, "You're home early, rough day?"

"Rough doesn't even begin to describe my time at the set, Vega." Jade hissed, opening up the fridge to get something to drink, finally setting on some wahoo punch. "Why am I surrounded by morons! If it wasn't the lighting, it was the make-up and if it wasn't the make-up it was the actors forgetting their lines and if it wasn't that, it was a complaint after complaint from the studio demanding I tone down the gore of my latest project!"

"What did they asked you to get rid of?"

"My dear naive Vega." She chuckled sarcastically. "They didn't ask for anything! Oh no, they demanded that I scrapped some very crucial scenes with the owls pecking out the eyes of some assholes! Like what the hell?! Do they have any idea how fucking important that is to the storyline?! It's an island filled with unimaginable horrors!"

"You don't say."

"Don't be a smartass with me Tor!" Jade growled "I already had a bunch of incompetent guys in suits breathing down my neck! I don't need my own wife causing me any more grief on this never-ending nightmare of a day!"

"Ok, ok!" Tori chuckled "Sorry, I just couldn't resist."

"Couldn't resist what?"

"Pointing out how my darling wife is the queen of horror."

"EXACTLY!" The former Goth boomed "At least you get it! Everything that's moving in that island from hell wants to kill you! But noooo, they're afraid that if anyone see that sort of stuff then they would be afraid of birds for the rest of their lives!"

"You can't deny that's a pretty valid reason."

"Oh, bite me Vega!" Jade snapped "It's a horror movie! The whole point of seeing one is to get some adrenaline while getting scared!"

"Yes, keyword being scared." Tori pointed out. "Not traumatized for life, baby."

"Whose side are you on?!"

"Yours of course!" She snapped. "But come on Jade! You gotta have a limit to your scariness otherwise you'll be giving a lot of people nightmares for years to come."

"And that's bad because?"

"Ugh, you're impossible!"

"That's why you married me." Jade said cheekily. "And trust me Vega, if I was allowed to use my full creative genius, then my work you seen would be a thousand times gorier."

"How much gorier could things get in your movies?" Tori gaped. "Scratch that, I rather not know."

"Suit yourself." The thespian chuckled. "And don't act so surprised, for chiz sake Vega, you know me! I watched Alfred Hitchcock's The Birds when I was a kid as a bedtime movie you don't see me freezing in terror at the sight of crows, pigeons or whatever!"

"I have some memories of watching that with you when we first started going out." Tori said. "That one weekend when you wanted to toughen up on horror movies, remember that?"

"Good times." Jade said fondly. "We should definitely do that again."

"Let's not."

"You sure?" She asked. "I seem to recall you loving what we did after we had enough scariness for one afternoon."

"How is it that we always end up naked in bed after a horror movie?"

"Are you complaining?"

"No, just wondering."

"Its ones of life's greatest mysteries." Jade shrugged. "So? What do you say?"

"Fine, but I get to pick the movies."

"You better pick some of the movies I made, Vega."

"Only if you hold me and don't tease me at every chance you get."

"Why don't you ask me to wear a bunny suit while I serenate you with our song?"

"You had that dream too?"

"I'll hold you Vega." Jade compromised. "Because that one of the perks of watching horror movies with you."

"What about the teasing?"

"I'll keep it to a minimum, take it or leave it."

"How about this." Tori suggested. "If you don't tease me at all while I scream during our scare-a-thon, I'll make it worth your while when we go to bed."

"What do you have in mind?"

"Wouldn't you like to know?"

"You're a sneaky one Vega." Jade smirked. "I like that in a woman… And since you never disappoint during our alone time… All I can say is… Deal!"

"I knew you would see it my way." Tori said mischievously. "So, you better have the energy."

"Don't I always?"

"Okay, point taken." The Latina grinned. "Going back to your day Jade, I'm going to take a gander here and assume you scared everyone on set and they ran out of the studio screaming and that's why you're home early."

"No."

"Then?"

"Those guys in suits shut down production of the film until I learn to control my rage!" Jade snapped. "Then they added insult to injury by banning me from going to the studio's Halloween party!"

"You never go to those." Tori said while still trying to give the pumpkin a crocked smile. "You dislike those gathering because you hate people."

"NOT the point!" Jade snapped. "I rather like having the option of choosing not to go instead of being told I can't go! But that's nothing compared to the fact that they said I have anger issues! ME! Your lovely wife who wouldn't even frighten a fly let alone a bunch of people or the test audience or the… You know I could use some back up from you right about now Vega!"

Tori on her part was biting her lower lip trying to not laugh because she knew if she did, her wife would kill her but when Jade said that she wouldn't scare a fly… That was when the Latina was about ready to burst.

"Sure baby." Tori let out a snort. "Whatever you say, you wouldn't scare…. No sorry, I can't even finish that…"

The Latina put the knife down before she started snickering, which slowly evolved into some giggles and from there, laughter so loud it got on her wife's nerves.

"You suck, Vega."

"I'm sorry, Jade." Tori said in between laughs "I may not always get your fascination with everything dark and creepy but I come to accept that it's a part of what makes you so uniquely wonderful and I wouldn't want you any other way."

"You're a big dork, you know that right?"

"The biggest." Tori teased "And I know you wouldn't want me any other way, that's why you married me in the first place."

"Very True." Her spouse rubbed her chin. "But I would love to have a more mischievous you around, it would no doubt spice things up in our marriage after all."

"Then you're in luck!" Tori proclaimed dramatically "I just bought some tabasco sauce!"

"You're a laugh riot Vega."

"I know… That's why we're together till death do us part?"

"The second-best decision I ever made."

"What was the first?"

"Deciding to let you in, in my life."

"Awww."

"Tell anyone I said that and I'm cutting your hair in your sleep."

"And now the moment's gone." Tori rolled her eyes. "Must you always do that?"

"Only when you're about to become all sunshine and lollypops." Jade teased. "I already have to work with Cat every day, I don't need any more excessive happiness when I get home or else I'll explode!"

"Aren't you exaggerating a little bit?"

"She wanted to make everything around the set pink!"

"Pink?"

"Yes! Pink!" She snarled "The studio hired her to do the actors make-up and every time there's a horror scene, she decides to ´help´ by doing a lame ass joke or bring out some happy colors to liven things up! I keep telling her that it's a horror film and that the atmosphere is supposed to be dark and gloomy! But she doesn't seem to get that! … After today, I fucking HATE pink even more than I did before! I swear the next person who brings something pink into this house will suffer my wrath!"

"Aren't you being a little overdramatic?"

"No Vega." Jade growled "Overdramatic would have been me murdering Cat on the spot, but the only reason I haven't killed her and dispose of the corpse is because I don't want to be apart from you if I get caught."

"It would have been such a sweet comment if committing a crime wasn't a part of that sentence." Tori said dryly. "Now please be quiet, I'm trying to concentrate here and do this Jack o' Lantern just right."

"How long have you been trying to put a face on that pumpkin?"

"Since noon."

"You're kidding me, right?" Jade replied. "It's almost 7 o'clock! You're telling me you been trying to put a face on this pumpkin for all this time?!"

"Well…. This isn't exactly my first try." Tori admitted reluctantly. "But in my defense, I didn't think it would be so hard!"

"Not your first… Vega… What are you getting at?"

"I'll tell you but only if you promise not to make a big deal out of this."

"Oh, this outta be good." Jade smirked. "I'm all ears."

She made a "follow me" gesture as she got up from the chair and walked out of the kitchen and into their backyard, Jade not to far behind, once Tori opened the door to the back of their house, Jade's jaw dropped.

"Holy shit Vega!"

"You promised you wouldn't make a big deal!"

"No, I said that I was all ears but I probably should've said I'd be all eyes too because… This is a graveyard!"

True to Jade's words all over their backyard there were "corpses" of pumpkins from different sizes and shapes, some with faces that would be best described as horribly misshapen if not in agonizing pain if pumpkins had the ability to do such a thing.

"Vega, I really should start calling you the pumpkinator." Jade said as she walked deeper into the "massacre" of failed Jack o' Lantern remains her wife left behind. "This is like a horror show for pumpkins!"

"It's not that bad." Tori defended herself lamely. "These weren't just my best attempts."

"To put it mildly." Jade said under her breath. "Kinda sucks I wasn't here to see this horror fest, where exactly did you get all these pumpkins or rather what remains of your victims?"

"Would you believe I grew them?"

"No, I wouldn't, and that's your best lie?" Her wife mocked. "You could have said I went nuts and I'm seeing things or I was losing brain cells or that you stole them or were from a movie you took a part in but that you grew them? You don't even like getting your hands dirty and you expect me to believe you been around dirt."

"Can I still use one of those excuses?"

"Nope, now tell where you got them."

"Trina." Tori answered Meekly. "She tried to make some extra cash by selling pumpkins as well at get closer to a guy she liked but failed at both attempts, I sort of felt sorry for her and uh well… Next thing I know I was in possession of over fifty pumpkins."

"And how much money did you spend on these things?" Jade asked, not sure she wanted to know the answer.

"Nothing."

"I find that hard to believe."

"Trust me baby." Tori said. "She originally wanted to charge me like 100 bucks but I kinda… sorta… made a deal with her."

"For trying to help her?!" Jade exploded. "Why am I not surprised? Just what was the deal."

"Please don't be mad."

"Which means, I will be mad." The thespian said. "Well, lets hear it, what was this so called deal you made?"

"I love you?"

"Stop stalling and tell me."

"Promise me you won't kill my sister at least."

"You just want to kill me on Halloween night, don't you?" Jade said exasperatedly. "Its just been one never ending nightmare today, I don't think my heart can take it fine I promise, what did you do?

"In exchange for all these pumpkins I told her she can audition for one of your movies and that you would give her a job."

Jade felt she was having a heart attack.

"What the hell?! VEGA!"

The thespian didn't get to say anything else as her spouse kissed her with a passion of a thousand suns, Tori gave her mouth quite a work out that neither could say anything for about an hour after they parted.

So instead, Jade did the next best thing, she typed a text on her phone.

Ping.

Tori read her phone.

"Who the hell taught you how to kiss like that?"

Tori smirked and wrote back.

Ping.

"The woman I love."

Ping.

"Damn… The student surpassed the master."

Ping.

Tori read her phone yet again.

"I'M STILL GOING TO KILL YOUR SISTER."

"I'm surprised you don't want to harm me." Tori said after she finally was able to move her lips again.

"You're just lucky I love you too much to actually kill you Vega." Jade scowled. "At best? I'm going to give a curse where you can't get out of bed till I say otherwise."

"And that's bad why?"

"It would involve me saying some very colorful language." Jade smirked evilly. "The kind of stuff you wouldn't like."

"You're probably right." Tori agreed. "I don't think I would ever say anything bad your way."

"You call me a gank almost every day."

"That's different and you know it!" The Latina teased. "It's a term of endearment... Plus you're my gank."

"You're a dork." Her wife grunted. "But you're mine."

"I love you."

"Ditto."

"JADE!"

"Yes?"

"Tell me you love me!"

"Why don't you make me?" Jade taunted. "Come on Vega, get me to say the L word… I triple dare…"

Tori threw some pumpkin remains her way, Jade sputtered trying to get the taste out of her mouth.

"Oh no you didn't!"

"I did!" Tori said proudly. "Not tell me you love me or I'll…"

It was Jade's turn to send some pumpkin bits towards her wife. "HA! Serves you right you dork no one pulls a fast one on me!"

"Oh yeah?" Tori challenged. "Special delivery!"

She puts a pumpkin on the thespian's head.

"Aww look!" Tori taunted. "My own Jade o' Lantern."

"Vega…" Jade said ominously. "When I get this thing off me your dead!"

"You gotta catch me first!"

After some effort the thespian got the pumpkin of her head, some bits were still in her hair and face, if she wasn't glaring dangerously Tori's way it would have been quite a funny sight.

"I'm going to put one of these orange pains up your ass and then I'll carve my name on it with my favorite pair of scissors!"

"You have to catch me first!" Tori said sticking her tongue out."

"That's the plan!" Jade yells out a war cry as she ran after her wife, Tori's laugh resonated all around the house as the couple played a twisted game of "catch the wife."

And they would have continued to do so for the rest of the night had it not been for the doorbell.

Dong ding.

Tori opened the door while trying to evade capture.

"Trick or treat!" Cat said cheerfully while wearing a costume of a pink unicorn.

Jade stopped right in her tracks, once she saw her best friend her left eye began to twitch uncontrollably, memories of her day began flooding her mind and how much she began to hate the sight of the color pink after Cat tried to "help."

Needless to say, that her target changed from her wife to her best fried who was obliviously smiling.

"YAAAAAAAAHHHH!"

"EEEEKKKK!"

"NO… MORE… PINK!"

"Stop scaring me Jadey!"

When Tori noticed she was no longer being chased she stopped running and instead went to investigate. "Hey, what gives?" Once she saw her wife chasing after their friend while trying to get her arms around her neck, the Latina shook her head.

"I hate it when she chases after Cat rather than me."

Tori then closed the door, she was sure that Jade was not going to rest till she got all the anger out of her system. "And not the fun way."

Ding dong.

"Trick or treat!"

Tori opened the door, this time seeing three little kids, two girls and one boy disguised as an angel, a cat and a space ranger respectively.

"Aw, aren't you three such cuties." Tori cooed. "Wait here, I'm going to get the candy."

"GET BACK HERE CAT!"

"NOOOO!"

The children stared perplexed at the sight of what they thought was a deranged Jack o' Lantern chasing after a pink unicorn.

Tori worried that might have scared the trick or treaters but much to her surprise, instead they said different things in awe.

"Cool!"

"That's new."

"I want that unicorn!"

"Uhhh." Tori said unsurely. "Here's your candy?"

The trio grabbed their candy but not before telling Tori how cool the "Halloween show was."

She wasn't expecting that, nevertheless she kindly gave them a smile and send them on their way.

But for the remaining of the night more trick or treaters came to the house, the trio had apparently told their friends of the lady in a Jack o' Lantern costume chasing after a unicorn and most trick or treaters came to the West household expecting to catch a glimpse of the elusive duo, so Tori gave candy after candy and by the time she ran out, kids stil kept coming but only to see Jade running after Cat.

They of course were unaware of the fact that they were giving many kids a memorable night.

Tori meanwhile chuckled happily as she also saw the unplanned show.

"Jade certainly gave out the Halloween Spirit."

And... Done!

Probably not the best story I ever came up with but instead of attempting to write something scary, I instead decided to do some random Jori Halloween afternoon that would go downhill quickly if Jade was pushed to the edge.

Anyway, your thoughts?

Invader Johnny Signing Off.