Shinichi took a long sip from his glass, savouring the fruity flavour of the freshly made punch, nothing like the artificially made shop brought ones these days. Today had been a day he'd like to pretend never happened. Filled with pointless murders, idiotic officers who wouldn't know how to pour water from a boot with the instructions on the heel, and a boat load of harassment and slander.
At one point he didn't think he would make it to the annual Halloween ball Sonoko held each year. Luckily inspector Megure had been informed of the party-most likely from Ran- and had allowed him to finish writing up his report tomorrow. Although not before he'd missed the opening ceremony.
Which led to now, him standing towards the back of the room, the only one not wearing a costume. He admitted to himself that it felt a little weird not being dressed up but there wasn't a lot he could do about that. The main thing was that he'd turned up and was socializing.
'Speaking of socializing, where is Kai? He's never one to be late when there's a chance to show off his dressing up skills.' The detective thought to himself, lending half an ear to the conversation around him as he scanned the crowed for his lover, apparently Sera and Makoto were arguing over best fighting techniques.
"Shin-Chan!" A cheery voiced called from beside him, sweeping him up into a hug and an affectionate kiss he gladly returned.
"Hey Kai" he breathed, melting into the hold, resting his forehead against the magician for a moment before pulling away, admiring the costume he'd gone for. "Indian Jones" he exclaimed surprised, he had though the other would have used the opportunity to dress up as Kid, if only to get a kick out of annoying the blond detective. Oh well he looked just as good dressed a leather a jack and Stetson as he did in a cape and top hat "looks very dashing on you" He complimented, eating up the look of him in those tight-fitting jeans. 'Kaito really should dress like that more often' he thought to himself.
"Thanks babe, where's your costume?" The magician asked, waving at Ayako as she passed by, dressed as little red riding hood, tugging an embarrassed Hakuba behind her, dressed as the big bad wolf.
"By the time I could leave the station, it was already too late for me to change" The detective shrugged, taking another sip of his drink, feeling relaxed for the first-time today in his boyfriends presents. The tension just seeming to bleed out of him.
Unfortunately, being relaxed meant he let his guard down, meaning he didn't seem the scheming look enter his lovers' eye, nor the mischievous grin stretch across his face. He did notice however, when he was engulfed in a cloud of pink.
Blinking rapidly to clear his vision. The first thing he became aware of was the feeling of a gentle breeze against his legs, the second was the hush that had fallen over the hall before laughter broke out.
Confused as to why people where pointing in his direction and laughing, Shinichi looked down and found himself looking at a skimpy maid outfit seen in those maid cafes. Turning slightly, he caught site of himself in a reflection on the window.
He was in an exact replica of Koizumi Hanayo maid outfit from Love Live, right the way down to the hair pinni she wore. He was in no doubt that he wasn't wearing everything she wore. He knew without even having to look that his underwear had been changed.
He could hear the distinctive clicking sound of cameras going off, followed by whispered mummers of those operating the device. The bright flashes temporarily blinding him.
"I knew he was gay but I didn't know he liked to dress like a girl"
"Poor Kaito, having to put up with someone like that"
"That's so disgusting, he should be ashamed of himself"
Shinichi could feel the tightening in his chest and the stinging behind his eyes as he fought back tears. Swallowing around the lump in his throat, willing his hands and legs to stay steady, to not give away how their actions were really making him feel.
He turned to Kaito, wanting his support and help, only to see his him doubled over in hysterics. Tears of laugher leaking down his face. Unable to face his lover anymore he looked away, face burning in shame.
Looking around the room he saw people still laughing at him, saw the looks of disgust or smug glee, muttering about how the mighty fall. With his heart heavy and full of betrayal, he bolted to the nearest exit. Not even turning back as he heard Ran call out his name, just focusing on getting home without being seen and before he broke down, long strides never faltering.
Silence descended again as Ran stormed over to the magician, a resounding clap filtered through the room as her hand connected with the prankster's face. Leaving an angry red mark in the shape of her hand its place.
"How dare you humiliate Shinichi like that!" She whispered furiously. "How dare you! after everything he's done for you, what he has to deal with on a daily basis for just being with you. Is this how you thank him? How you show your love? Cause if it is, I promise you, you will never be able to set foot near him again" her voice rose steadily the longer she talked.
"You have no idea what Shinichi puts up with every single day just to be able to stand next to you. The harassment and resentment shown towards him for being gay. The discrimination he faces on the streets, at work, in the shops." She leaned into the prankster's face, forcing him to take a step back, allowing her to back him up against the wall, trapping him.
"You don't even know the amount of self-hate he has and the worthlessness he feels when someone tells him that there is something wrong with him, that it's not right for two men to love each other. Do you even know how insecure he is? How he can't help but agree when someone tells him he doesn't deserve you, that you could do better?" she snarled, reminiscent of a lioness protecting her cubs.
"Do you even care about any of that? Do you care that sometimes he wishes he had been born a girl just so people would accept you two being together, how some nights he wishes he was dead so you wouldn't have to deal with his problems? Because I do, I've seen that and I've heard it." Her voiced cracked, expression taking on a heart-breaking quality.
"Today I watched him fight to have the case he was working on because the officers working the case wouldn't work with a gay man. I watched him push his feelings aside and solve a murder of a little girl single handily while the officers threw slurs and derogatory terms at him. Only to find out that since he came out, that this has been a regular occurrence" Kaito's face had steadily becoming whiter and whiter the more she revealed. Horror and a disgusted sickness drowning out every other emotion.
"I've seen him shoulder the weight of the world, to hide how he truly feels and just basks in the happiness you give off. I watched him relax for the first time in what feels like weeks when you turned up and then I watched as his heart broke because you did what everyone else does, use him for entertainment." She was shouting at the end, tears of anger pricking at her eyes.
"And that goes for the rest of you!" She roared to the crowed turning on them. "You're his friends. He risks his life every day making the streets safer for us as well as putting our loved ones to rest by exposing their killers. And yet you all seem to forget how he'd drop anything at a moment's notice if asked. I want all photos and videos delated and If I find a single one on the internet I'm going to file a law suit against you and I promise to make it stick." She vowed menacingly.
"Ran" Sonoko uttered quietly, putting a supportive hand on her friend's shoulder. "The same goes for me, if anyone continues to give the detective geek a hard time, I will either fire you if you are under my employment, destroy your compony if you're not and pull out all investments. From here on forth, the Sonoko industries shall be the leading group of support for gays." She addressed the party, tone authorative.
"Now you better go find you lover and start apologising" The heiress ordered, pointing a finger at a stunned Kaito. Nodding in satisfaction as he ran out the door.
Ooo0ooo
'Baka, baka, baka. You've got to stop doing things on impulse and be more observant of things going on around you. Fuck I screwed up, please don't let it be too late' Kaito begged as he ran to the Kudo house.
Banging on the door once he reached it, trying the handle only to find it locked. "Shinichi, please open up! I'm so sorry I did this, please let me explain" He pleaded through the door. Hearing no response, he decided to climb in through the balcony window leading to his lover, knowing he would have forgotten to lock it in his state.
Silently he climbed the tree and hoped onto the ledge. Creeping along it and quietly opening the door. He felt a bolt of triumphant glee at finding the saw unlocked but was quickly chased away as sounds of muffled sobs reached his ear. Taking a deep breath, the trickster entered the room. Heart breaking as he took in the sight before him.
Shinichi was laid across the bed, face burrowed into a pillow his was holding, sobs racking his slight frame. The dress and hair band torn of long ago, crumbled at the base of the bed.
"Oh baby" He whispered rushing to his hopefully still lover's side and scooping him up for a cuddle. Holding tight as Shinichi kicked out and fought against his hold, screaming hate at him.
"I hate you! I hate you! I hate you! I HATE YOU!" he cried, fists punching the firm chest in front of him, screaming at the one who had hurt him more than anyone had done previously.
"I'm so sorry, so sorry" Kaito whispered into his hair. Tears of his own trickling down. "Please forgive me. I love you so much" He kissed the top of his head as Shinichi began to settle down.
"Why?" his voice cracked, a steady flow of tears still falling. "Why did you do that to me? Did I do something wrong to make you mad? "He questioned lost.
Kaito felt his heart stop as he realised just how fucked up this all was. Shinichi was the victim here and yet he thought he was the one in the wrong, that he had done something to deserve the abuse Kaito had shown him. Kaito didn't think he could feel anything worse then what he felt the day he lost his dad but this, this came very close to topping it.
To suddenly become aware of how negligent you had been to the one you loved, to see how you had messed them up in your ignorance was sole wrenching. It was something he never wanted to feel again but knew it would hang over his head like a cloud. This scar would be visible for years to come and he knew if they ever were able to get past this and fix what he broke, then he would never be able to get this image out of his head. Would have the words haunting him in every action he did for the rest of his living life, and most likely the afterlife too.
"No baby, no. You did nothing wrong, this was all on me" he reassured frantically. He had to stop this, he couldn't let go on thinking like that. "When you said you hadn't the time to change I wanted to help you out as I knew you must have felt a little singled out, left out the fun as it were. I was so excited to dress you in that maid outfit, that I didn't even think of the consequences or how it would affect you. All I could think about was seeing you in the dress. "he rushed to explain, trying to dispel any doubts. He knew he wasn't doing very well. It felt like his mind was just spiralling out of control and the more panicked he became the less sense his mind seemed to make.
"Then why did you laugh?" Shinichi sniffed, using a lightly curled fist to rub at his eye, gazing distrustfully with the other, body slumped in a vague form of resignation, pure exhaustion tainting his edges.
"The look on you face. You looked so confused and bewildered. It was adorable to see, in fact too adorable because I wanted to take you then and there, but I knew that wasn't something you would apricate so I fell back onto my default reaction, and although it was wrong too I laughed" The magician tried to explain in a way that made sense.
"I know it was wrong and I feel so goddamn guilty. I know I could have handled that in a better way but I thought you would have preferred to look sexy then to be sexed up" he tried to joke weakly. He couldn't help it, when things got like this, it was natural for him to try and make people smile again.
Shinichi gave a small weak sounding chuckle at the badly timed joke. Kaito felt his hopes soar at the beautiful sound. He knew he didn't deserve for this beautiful creature in front of him to forgive him but he was selfish and would work damn hard to fix the mistakes he'd made.
"No, I wouldn't" He hiccupped wiping away the last of his tears.
"I really am sorry Shinichi. Both for what happened at the party and the hardships you've been having to face alone. I promise from now on to be more attentive to what's going on around me and to never put you in a predicament that would cause hurt or humiliation again" He swore, holding up his pinkie. It was a childish move but to them it was law. They didn't care if it made them look immature, with what they faced they needed something pure and innocent in their lives. Not to mention that sometimes doing those simple childish rituals they'd learnt when young made it feel more solid, like there was no possibility of it not being fulfilled.
"I promise to tell you when things are beginning to get too much" the detective linked pinks with a shy smile. Hurt receding in his eyes slightly, the betrayed glint almost non-existent.
"And I'm sorry for overreacting. I know it must have confused you since normally I don't have such an adverse reaction. Today was an emotionally draining day, so my emotions led most of my actions this evening." Shinichi looked down in shame and embarrassment. He knew in his heart that Kaito had only been playing, but his head just wouldn't accept it.
It didn't help knowing that his reaction had been unexpected, that to Kaito at least, who had previous experience to pull up to be able to confidently believe the actions were welcome, he been unprepared for the explosion. He regretted how at the time his head had viewed the prank as an attack on his person, having been on edge all day and just couldn't take anymore. I guess you could say it was the straw that broke the camel's back.
His lover put a finger under his chin and lifted his head, smiling gently "Hey none of that now. You reacted in a way that felt right for you, and that is not something you should be ashamed of. In fact, I think it was necessary, I was taking you for granted and turning a blind eye to the hurt festering inside of you. That shall never happen again, and, if it does, tell me. I want this relationship to work" Kaito told him, causing Shinichi to beam at him. It wasn't as bright as normal but then it had been dulled for a while now, Kaito just hadn't wanted to admit it. Fearing if he did then they would have to deal with their feelings and that was something he knew both of them were terrible at.
It had been wrong of him to feel like opening up to his lover would have been a burden, he could see that now and would do everything in his power to avoid that happening again. Even if that meant having to go a little deeper into how he felt about things. He would do anything if it meant he got to be with the person he loved most in the entire world.
"Me too Kai, I love you so much and I don't want to lose you" Shinichi confessed, looking earnestly into the Thief's eyes. If they were gonna do this and move forward in one piece then they needed to be more open and honest with each other, not just letting their actions speak for themselves.
"I love you too, so much that it hurts" Kaito whispered, slowly leaning in closer. Giving the other enough time to move away, he didn't. Shinichi stayed there, eyes darting between his eyes and lips.
Slowly their lips came to gather in a gentle embrace. Reassuring each other that they were there and that they would be together. Things weren't perfect, they had their faults and imperfections. Misunderstandings and upsets. But right here, right now. None of that mattered. All that mattered was that they were together and together they could do anything.
"And you're on-dish duty for the week as well as sleeping on the couch tonight" he told the other sternly as he broke the kiss.
Kaito pouted at the last bit "Can't I have a forfeit punishment?" he begged, kissing along the other jawline in an attempt to get the other to change his mind.
"T-that's not fair" he whined around a moan as Kaito nibbled on a sensitive spot "Okay you don't have to have the couch but I expect you to do the dishes and cook at least one meal this week" he caved slightly.
"Hmm, deal" Kaito agreed, sucking on the mark he had placed just below the collar.
"Don't think this lets you off the hook mister, I'm still angry at you" as he arched his neck, giving the other more to work with.
"And I will spend the rest of my life making up for it" Kaito swore seriously "but for now, let me relive some of that tension that has built up over the day" he growled, not giving the other time to respond as he dived down and devoured that sensational mouth.
Talking could come later, for now he was going to make up for the hurt with pleasure. It wasn't like Shinichi was going to argue with that arrangement of things anyway. They had spoken a lot tonight, had admitted more in one night then in the last six months, he thought they deserved a reward for that.