Part Three

Kate Beckett prided herself on knowing a lot more hidden gems, and even more hidden dives, than the average New Yorker did, but she was beginning to accept that her knowledge of the city's best kept secrets paled next to Castle's.

Like this tiny, boutique hotel, on East 81st, near York St, sandwiched between a brownstone and a dry cleaner. Beckett did know about the hotel. However, even she didn't know that there was a gorgeous, hidden bar in the basement. One that looked like it belonged in the 1940's, full of dark wood panels, thick Persian rugs and generously cushioned grandfather-chairs that she wanted to curl into.

She caught Castle discretely slipping the maitre d' a bill, a gesture that made the man move a "reserved" sign from a table near the fireplace and casually place it onto the one next to it.

"Voila, Monsieur," the maitre d' pointed to the table next to the fireplace.

"Smooth," Beckett pointed out.

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Uh huh," Beckett rubbed her hands together over the fireplace. It's why he'd wanted this table even though it wasn't his to take, she realized. He saw her shivering while waiting for his Lyft ride, because she'd ditched her blood-stained wool sweater and only wore a t-shirt under her jean jacket. Bruised, dusty and casual – they were both underdressed for this place but Beckett guessed that after Castle's little bribe no one would care.

Even so, she had a sudden urge to make a dash to the washroom and at least make sure her hair wasn't a tangled mess after their elevator drama.

"I need to make a stop in the ladies' room first," she told Castle.

Castle's eyes followed her as she walked to the end of the long bar, before turning right and out of his sight. He let his gaze linger on the spot where she turned and sank into one of the plush chairs, exhausted and exhilarated all at once.

Never in his wildest dreams would he have imagined that this was where he'd end up tonight. Here, at one of his favourite spots in Manhattan. With Kate.

Not after he'd watched her dance with that…British agent, and then thrown Jacinda in her face and got a look that could kill, before almost, literally, plummeting to his death in a pre-historic elevator.

Goosebumps lined his arm at the thought of it all. Especially at the memory of the icy glare that Beckett had given him earlier.

He also thought about her unexpected confession when they were trapped. "How could we start something good if all I could think about was putting one foot in front of the other? I needed to be more than that."

"Hey-" Beckett came back and curled her long, slim body into the chair across from him, instinctively making him want to move his chair closer to hers. It took genuine willpower not to do it. Such was the pull she had on him.

"Have you checked out these bathrooms?"

"Not the women's, no."

She rolled her eyes and it gave him an excuse to stare, to finally give himself permission to really look at her again, something he hadn't done in days. The flames from the fireplace place bathed her in a warm, glowing light and he could swear she'd never been more beautiful than right now at this very moment. No matter how many Nikki Heat books he wrote, he'd always fail at putting into words the countless emotions that coursed through him each time he looked at her.

"If you had, you'd know they're unisex."

"I do. I was testing you."

"Right." She snickered and that felt good too. To banter with her again.

A bow-tied waiter approached them so stealthily that Castle hadn't noticed him until he was hovering right over his head. "Mr. Castle, can I offer you both something to drink?"

He turned to Beckett. "Kate?"

"I'll have a glass of red," she eyed the waiter. "Something robust, Italian. I'll leave it up to you."

"Scotch on the rocks for me," Castle ordered and just like that, the waiter disappeared as quickly as quickly he'd appeared. "You hungry?"

"Yeah…come to think of it. Starving actually."

It was the answer he'd hoped for.

So when their drinks came they pored over the menu and ordered food. Lots of it. Comfort food, because it's what they both craved after their latest brush with death. A Quebec-style meat pie and a warm loaf of bread with salted butter and olives. A plate of asparagus and roasted root vegetables with a side bowl of bearnaise sauce to dip them in.

They ate it slowly over small talk and it wasn't until their second round of drinks that he worked up the nerve to go back to their conversation in the elevator. Much as he dreaded it, and as much as wanted the rest of the evening to go one exactly like this, because all of it was pretty damn perfect, he couldn't let it end where it did. They were far too good at this; at leaving things unsaid.

"Kate, tonight…in the elevator, you said you needed to be something more, in order for us-" God, this was so hard, because he still wasn't sure where he stood now. Because the possibility that they'd already missed their chance wasn't something he wanted to consider. "To start something."

Beckett's tongue pushed an olive pit out between her lips and her thumb and index fingers grabbed it and flicked it into the small bowl, next to the bigger one full of black and green olives. There was something ridiculously sexy about the way she did it.

He made a mental note to order olives again. If by some stroke of luck there was a second dinner with her in his future.

Beckett looked at him, surprised at the change of topic. "Yes."

"Do you still want that? For us to start something."

Terror widened her pupils and he suddenly wanted to take back the question. Braced himself for the unbearable answer.

"I, uh…"

"Kate, if you don't-"

"I do." It was a whisper, nearly drowned out by crackling embers of the fireplace, but he heard it. As loud and clear as if she'd shouted if from the rooftop.

"You do?"

"Yes," she said it with more certainty this time, biting her bottom lip to stop it from trembling. Once the fear left her gaze her lips rose into a smile that matched his own and for a second he thought she might even be flirting with him. Amused by his reaction.

"Me too."

"Yeah? You do?"

"Yeah."

Castle did push his chair closer to hers now, because it was impossible not to bridge the gap between them. Tried to tamp down his giddy happiness when took one of her hands in his. "You said something else too, that you needed to be more."

"Yes."

"I think…what you're doing. Going to therapy, trying to deal with what happened to you, it's brave, Kate."

"I haven't felt very brave lately."

"It's not east to ask for help. It takes more strength than most of us have."

She shrugged.

"I don't need some fearless kickass-warrior-cop, Beckett, you know that right? You've always been enough."

She squeezed his hand too. "I know. I really do…but I'm so bad at this. At trust and relationships. I had so many walls up. I was buried in my mother's case…and as much as I told you that I wanted Josh around more, it was a lie. I think I fell for him because I knew I could always have one foot out the door of our relationship and that I could keep him at arm's length. I know I can't do that with you."

"True."

"And then on top of all that, I got shot and…" She winced. "I was a terrible patient. If I'd let you into my life then, it would have been over before it started."

"You keep thinking that I'm so easy to push away. That'd I'd give up on us so easily."

"I don't want to push you away, Rick," she admitted. "I wanted to be better than that, to be in a place where I was ready to accept everything that happened that day at the cemetery. Everything. But I'm also sorry…that I lied about not remembering. That you found out the way you did. I should have noticed that things changed between us after that case. It was so obvious but I never put two and two together. Some detective, huh?"

"I should have confronted you about it," he confessed. If she was apologizing, he needed to as well. He'd been such an ass to her lately. "Talked to you instead of assuming the worst, and trying to punish you by flaunting my dates in front of your face."

"Dates?" She raised her brows. "There are others? Besides Jacinda?"

"Did I say dates?"

"You did. Dates. With an s. Plural."

"No, no…" It was there again, the hurt in her eyes and he hated himself for putting it there. Beckett had never intended to hurt him, but he did and that tore at his gut. "Even Jacinda and I, we had lunch and dinner, and that's it. There's no me and Jacinda."

"Okay." She accepted the explanation but he could see she wasn't convinced.

"I even lied about her being double-parked in the loading dock. It was Alexis whom I texted in the elevator."

"Really?" She chuckled this time. "You kill me, Castle."

"I'm sorry. I wanted to hurt you because, the idea that you didn't know how to tell me you didn't love me back hurt like hell. Because I wanted it so bad. It was childish and I regret it."

"I shouldn't have lied. It was cowardly."

"You were recovering…"

"No excuse," she cut him off. "I was selfish. Scared. To be honest, I was starting to wonder whether you meant it. If maybe I waited too long or maybe you only said it because you thought I was dying…"

What?

Castle stared at her in stunned disbelief and then moved his chair even closer. She couldn't' possibly think that, could she? "You're not dying now, Kate, right?"

"Uhm, no…hope not."

"I love you."

There it was again the same mix of shock and terror in her gorgeous eyes. "Castle, I…"

"You don't have to say it back. Not until you're ready or until you mean it," he reassured her. "But I want you to know that what I said wasn't some ploy to try and keep your heart beating when you were lying on that grass with a bullet in your chest. I mean it. I love you. A lot."

"Okay…" the shock of his announcement faded from her expression and he could see other things in her eyes too. Joy. Relief.

"You said you're almost where you want to be, but not yet."

"I want to be but…" She fisted her hands, frustrated with herself but he didn't give her the chance to wallow in it. Twisted his thumb along her palm and broke through her fist with it.

"Until you are, maybe we could be friends again. Partners."

"I'd like that."

"Maybe I could even take you out for a movie this weekend."

She looked happy now and that emboldened him and gave him all sorts of crazy hope. Maybe they could get there together.

"Yeah…I'd like that too."

"Quantum Legacy 4?"

"Now you're pushing it."

"It's only Tuesday. I have three days to convince you."

"Good luck with that."

Once again, the waiter appeared out of nowhere, cleared their empty plates and discretely asked if they wanted another round of drinks.

After the food and the two rounds they already had, exhaustion had come at them hard and fast and they both declined. Castle asked for the bill and in spite of getting some resistance, he successfully managed to pay for everything.

He'd been so used to letting her take the lead, he'd forgotten that outside the precinct, he needed to step up and be her equal. It wasn't fair to make her break down all the walls from inside, he could rip out a few bricks from the other side as well and help her speed up the process.

He'd gotten this far because of his persistence and it's what she needed now, to know that he wasn't giving up on them. Not the passive-aggressive jealousy he'd thrown her way instead.

The rain slowed down their ride home, but he didn't mind because after they crossed 69th, Beckett leaned on his shoulder and closed her eyes, making his heart swell, to the point where he feared it might burst out of his chest.

What a way to die, he thought. Having your most vital organ self-combust in a Lyft.

When they arrived at her loft, Castle gave her a nudge but Beckett's eyes were already back open and she gave him a sleepy smile.

"Will you wait for a minute?" Castle asked the driver.

"Don't be silly. It's pouring," Beckett told him. "Stay in the car."

But he was already halfway out the door. Tonight had been too wonderful, had felt too much like a date, for him to stay in the car like a sack of potatoes and end it with a wave out the window.

He wasn't fast enough to open the door for her, but he did grab her hand and lead her out of the car before they both made a sprint for the small awning outside her building. The only thing it was good for was keeping them from getting completely soaked. The drops that the wind blew in sideways still fell on their jackets.

But he was oblivious to the rain, focusing on her face instead and the way a wet piece of hair stuck to her forehead. "Until tomorrow, Beckett."

She smirked. "Good night, Castle."

He was about to turn back to the car when her fingers hooked into the sleeve of his jacket and tugged him back towards her, with enough force that there was no mistaking it was intentional. An unexpectedly sly smile was the last thing he saw before her arms snaked around his neck and she raised herself onto her tip toes to level her lips with his.

Soft, warm skin contrasted with the ice-cold drops of water falling on his cheeks and sent all his sensations into overdrive.

She was kissing him and he hesitated only for a nanosecond until his body responded and he kissed her back and revelled in the sweetness of tasting her.

Taking her lead, he pulled her in closer and that gave her the chance to relax and let go and explore a little deeper and show him how much she wanted this. She was as hungry for him as he was for her and that sent a shiver of delight coursing through his body. Tongues and teeth collided in a slow clash of desire and then her hands slowly moved to cup his jaw while they were still kissing. Tender and proprietary all at once.

Kate Beckett was claiming him and he was happy to surrender.

Her mouth lingered on his swollen bottom lip before she finally let go with a contented smile, her breathing hot and heavy. Enough so that he allowed the palm of his hand to slide under her shirt and hold her close for another minute, to feel the rise and fall of her chest against him.

It took all of his willpower not to press her against the brick wall and do it all over again. To not take her upstairs and show her exactly how much he wanted her.

But he was going to do this at her pace. Even if it killed him. Because he loved her even more than he wanted her.

Beckett's bandaged hand was splayed against his chest and she exhaled, resting her forehead on him before she turned up to meet his gaze and take a step back. "You have no idea how long I've been wanting to do that."

"I can relate."

His mouth was still on fire.

All of it was so natural. The feel of her body against his. His skin on hers. The way she let go of herself when they kissed. When they finally got there, it would be amazing and it would last. He had no doubts anymore.

Nor did he think it would take very long. Not after tonight.

Judging from the joy she radiated, neither did she. "Good night, Castle."

It definitely was. Best night in a long time.

He watched her head inside the apartment, past the lobby concierge and into the elevator.

The sight of the sliding doors made him grin. It was an elevator that brought them here tonight. Sunk them to new depths and brought them to new heights.

Castle stepped back out into the rain and the smile was still on his face when he whispered a quiet thank you to the now-deceased Otis.

We'll try to make some new memories in your replacement. Promise.

A/N: Giant thank you hug once again to WRTRD for proofreading this story!