Warnings: AU, A/B/O dynamics, OOC, and any other bits and pieces you find.

Disclaimer: I do not own TWD or Harry Potter.

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"Shame isn't a quiet grey cloud, shame is a drowning man who claws his way on top of you, scratching and tearing your skin, pushing you under the surface."
- Kirsty Eagar

Chapter Two

This was the first time since he had been saved by the strangers he was able to stay awake for more than a few minutes at a time. The days before had been filled with blurry figures, cool water, and small hands as if they belonged to a child.

He hazily recalled that it was always two people, the one he had dubbed Cool Hands when he was rescued, who always brought him food and water, wiped him down and then the other whose hands were smaller but weathered and just as gentle.

Did he really allow a man to do that to him?

Shane blushed before rubbing a hand roughly through his hair that had grown back out to how it was just before the shit storm crash landed on earth. "Fuck"

Tugging on the curly strands he frowned, it wasn't as if he was against men indulging in each other but he wasn't one, Lori could testify to that seeing as how his other conquests were probably dead. A voice whispered about the male beta he had fucked just before everything turned upside down.

Closing his eyes he sighed. This was a fucked up situation as it was.

He wasn't supposed to be here, in a place with strange people that apparently had no qualms about touching another man's junk. He should be with his group, on the Greene's farm. They were now getting settled in, now being able to relax after running and fighting and searching for so long.

He deserved to be there teaching Carl how to shoot, wrapping his arms around Lori and telling her how much he loved-

Shane swallowed, a bitter taste in his mouth.

But that was Rick's job again, now wasn't it.

While being on the road with no one but ghosts and dead bodies as company for so many weeks he had no option to think. Talking to himself while strange and mildly aggravating, had been the only way not to go stir crazy from the lack of human companionship.

He had done some… thinking. Reflections or whatever the fuck it was called. Even before he had started this thing with Lori, he had known it was wrong. Knew it was wrong back then when he watched her undress through the crack of the bedroom door while Rick was in the garage.

It had been wrong when they traded glances during Sunday dinners when she had come to him two days after he told her Rick was dead and she had ridden him, not like a woman grieving but one full of lust and heat and need.

He knew it was wrong but he couldn't stop. Trying to say he was protecting his best friend's family flew out the window the second he put his hands on Lori and the moment he thought of her as his own he could see just where he crossed into no man's land so to speak.

Then Rick came back and-

Shane groaned, yanking on his hair until the pain caused him to release it. He knew he was in the wrong to touch another man's woman, to touch his best friend's; his brother's wife. To still want her, lust after and love her even when said brother appeared alive and well.

He was wrong but he didn't want to be, because for the first time in a very long time he was happy. Contented to have a family he craved even if the wife and child belonged to another man.

Then when he had to give it up, when he knew it was time to let go of what was only his due to circumstance he couldn't, and then Rick wasn't Rick anymore. Rick was the one who stood in the way of what he wanted, the one who took them away from him.

Rick had become the enemy.

Now that he was not burning up with a fever, starving and dehydrated with bone-deep exhaustion Shane knew all of those delirium induced dreams, mumbles that he only half remembered did have an ounce of deception in them.

Tears burned behind his eyelids and Shane covered his face though no one was present to could see his shame.

His father had always said that if a male cried he was more pussy than any woman. As a man crying wasn't right but anger, hate, and envy were acceptable. Crying was as shameful as it got, God his father must be rolling in his grave knowing that his son was crying more in this last week than he had in two decades.

A part of him was still angry at Rick, for being alive and taking back all the love Lori and Carl had shown, had given him. That part of him still wanted to find Rick and kill him. To make him scream as he hurt him over and over again. To really make sure that this time, this time he would remain dead so he could take back what was his.

That part of him wanted what really wasn't his, and that part of him had to die.

He didn't want to feel like this anymore. This burning rage that consumed him and blurred his rationality, that made his friends into enemies he wanted to put down like dogs. He couldn't be that person anymore, he didn't want to be.

Rick had given him a chance, more than he deserved after what he did. He wouldn't let that chance go to waste. As soon as he could stand on his own two feet again he would ask the leader of the group for one or two weapons, some supplies then he'd leave.

Shane sniffled bringing his hand up to rub at his eyes. He never understood why crying always made you so tired, but it was effective he'd give it that. Looking out the window that the bed was next to he saw the sky now beginning to brighten. The dark blue sky turning orange and pink with the sunrise.

Then just like that, the camp came alive.

Shane eased himself up because the last thing he wanted was to fall off the bed and break his fucking arm or leg seeing as how he had a bad track record of not keeping his mind and body in one piece so far.

Peering out the window he watched as several people split off into different directions, some exiting through a narrow gate and into a wide field.

Squinting he could see on the edges of the overgrown pasture skewers were set up so that if any wandering walkers managed somehow to get past the wall and came close they would be impaled. The men and women then split up, long sticks in hand running through the long grass.

Someone raised a white flag and like clockwork and maybe it just might be, others led what looked like cows out into the field, the smaller animals he couldn't see so well from the distance.

Climbing from the bed he stumbled more than walked, over to the other window that overlooked another huge patch of land one of his hands holding onto the waistband of the sweats that were riding low.

These people had a running sanctuary with livestock and crops. His group barely had a stable home and a roof over their heads back at the farm much less a whole running stronghold.

He continued to stare out of the window watching as some of the people who tended to the crops gathered baskets of what looked like from the distance to be fucking corn if the tall stalks weren't to be mistaken.

"Amazing isn't it"

Shane spun around, his heart hammering in his chest even as his fist flew to hit the person who had been breathing down his neck.

A hand caught his own but instead of retaliating the woman only released it. "I suppose that was my fault, dreadfully sorry."

Shane tensed up because now that his body and senses weren't riddled with feverish haze he could easily tell that the woman standing before him was an alpha, and if his weak body could identify her orientation then she could do the same to Shane.

He hadn't met many female alphas in his lifetime, and the two that he had stumbled across had been vicious like most of their male counterparts.

The next thing Shane noticed was the shock of curly hair that was thrown into a messy bun and the rather disarming smile that was on her lips.

The woman raised an eyebrow when a sound of protest came from Shane's stomach and her smile widened.

"I suppose breakfast is in order" she murmured, looking a bit thoughtful.

Shane's gaze still lingered on the curly haired woman who carried a fucking British accent, though nothing like the 'pansy' he had heard his father's drinking buddies say.

Kindness and genuine generosity only went so far in the world nowadays. If you had something, someone else wanted it as well, either by force or by trade. No one with enough common sense took a random stranger from the streets nursed them back to health and smiled at them for free.

"What do you want?"

"Excuse me?"

"You brought me here, I'm alive for some reason so what do you want huh? Intel on my group cause let me tell you, missy, I ain't giving you not one damn thing."

The woman only raised an eyebrow from where she had been fiddling with an IV bag that was beside the bed on the stand.

"Well you have three things incorrect with your accusations." she switched the bags, the empty one going into the bin next to the bedside table.

"First I didn't bring you here since recruiting really isn't my job. I'm surprised that you have a group given the state in which the party found you in and last but not least my name isn't missy, it is Hermione Granger and I would prefer if you use either my first or last name, whatever to your liking."

Shane floundered for a moment, having been prepared for an argument but now he found the steam pressed from his body leaving him deflated.

"What do you mean the state you found me in?"

She fluffed the pillow on the bed, motioning for him to lay back down and he did without a second thought even though his pride burned the moment his head rested against the pillow.

"On a supply run our people found a group of dead surrounding a car trying to get in so upon investigation they found you. You were feverish, hallucinating, severely dehydrated and underweight. You were also on the verge of heat but it was stalled with the use of medication since Madame Pomfrey wasn't too sure you'd be able to survive the elevated temperatures and hormones your body would produce."

His breath hitched and he could feel all the blood drain from his face, the warm morning seeming rather cold now. The woman - Hermione raised an eyebrow at him.

"You do know that you are an omega correct?" she asked, her voice hinting at being more curious than malicious with the question.

He nodded jerkily, his brown eyes watching her for any of the signs he had seen in many alphas that found an unmated omega, a vulnerable omega.

He hadn't been this weak since he was a child and it made him want to scream his way from this fucked up situation.

"Thank the Gods, I thought I would have to give a man older than I am the gender talk. Now as for what we want."

Shane tensed because he knew it, he fucking knew it. No one did shit without wanting anything, without payment.

Hermione rolled her eyes "If you're finished with your inner monologue I'll tell you the demands of our fearless leader."

The way she said 'fearless leader' had more respect than sarcasm but Shane picked up on it regardless.

"Your orders are to stay in bed until Madam Pomfrey declares that you're fit to be walking about and angsting over something that probably can't be changed. This will sting a bit."

He flinched, hissing when the needle penetrated the skin of his arm to connect it to the IV drip.

"Even though you're alert than you have been in days our resident doctor wishes that you wait until your body catches up so we can move you onto solid foods."

He continued to watch her warily as she stepped back, arms crossed over her chest and if his nose and senses weren't telling him she was an alpha he would think the woman was a beta.

"Are all American men so very rude? I still haven't received your name unless you want to continue to be referenced as the Plushy Man."

Not giving him time to ask she pointed to the side of the bed where the stuffed rabbit was, his hand reaching for it before his brain caught up. Staring down at the child's toy he squeezed it, the sponge on the inside making the material even softer.

"I… I had this when they rescued me?"

She smiled sadly, nodding. "How much of the ordeal do you remember exactly?"

Shane looked back to the stuffed toy in hand, squeezing it again before gently rubbing its long ears.

"Not much. After the third panic attack, everything just became blurry. I do remember a man, or at least I think it was a man, his hands were cool. The same hands were there on the highway and in this room… I think."

"Cool hands?" there was a definite amusement in her voice even if she tried to keep her expression schooled.

Shane gave her an annoyed look and stuffed the rabbit under the pillow, the IV line pulling a bit.

"What else do you want?"

Hermione rolled her eyes "Honestly, I understand your suspicion but it's not needed and frankly, from what you've seen outside I don't think there is anything you could provide us hm? Unless you have the cure to fix this bloody mess that had become the world."

Shane remained silent and she nodded. "Now, I'll tell Madam Pomfrey you're awake and alert, coherent at best and I'll see if I can get you some solid food for the first time in two weeks"

"Wait wait wait… two weeks? I've been here for two weeks?"

"Well granted you've been unconscious for the entire time but yes you have." tucking a curly strand of hair behind her ear Hermione smiled at him.

"Get some more rest, I'll send someone up with breakfast if you think you can stomach anything."

Shane stared at her for a long moment before swallowing, his tongue swiping over his dry lips. "Shane Walsh."

"Your name I'm going to assume."

He nodded and she smiled a bit wider. "Charmed to meet you, Shane."

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Running a hand down his face Shane gently tugged at the beard that covered his chin, a reflexive twitch at how unkempt he must have looked, an after effect of being a policeman for so long and all the standards that came with it.

Peeking out the window again he watched as the people milled about, all in the daily routine for them to be so in sync in whatever odd job they did to contribute to the camp.

This was a mess.

All because of him everything was ruined.

Sixteen years of friendship down the drain because he tricked his biology to the point it turned against him. He'd heard stories while in the academy about Alphas who weren't comfortable in their skin and wanted to be beta or even omega only they were unable to squash down the instincts to dominate and ended up battering, sometimes murdering their partner.

Or Thomas Farrow, an omega who was bullied and abused as a child, grew up and gained a place in a high ranking job. Within seven years he murdered, raped and then disposed of over fifty-seven omegas and alphas alike, singles and couples, he had no discrimination against race or gender. He had hated what he was because of his Alpha father and despised those who could live happily while he suffered.

Sometimes Shane wondered if that could've been him. If his mother had not sent him away to her relatives in the dead of the night; if he would've become even more bitter about his status, if he would've one day taken a gun and killed his father and anyone else who had looked sideways at him with anything resembling disgust.

He wondered if he had left his childhood home earlier if he would've embraced who he was, maybe had someone for himself and kids in the bundles.

When he had first arrived at his great aunt and uncle's home he had marveled at the amount of love two people could give someone they hardly knew. Omegas were plenty there, and no one treated them any different than they would a beta or alpha, everyone was happy and it was such a stark contrast to his old home it had made him cry for weeks.

Shane sometimes wondered about his mother, if she was alright after his father discovered she had sent him away without his knowledge, if she too had left and if she was still alive today.

That night replayed in his head constantly, especially when he was troubled. Her beautiful face, eyes clouded with tears as she mumbled 'I love yous' before the cab had driven away.

Sighing his arm draped over his eyes as he let the sound of the people and animals outside drown out whatever bout of misery that was about to take him over. Honestly, he was crying more nowadays than he did in decades and as mortifying as that was, it wasn't the worst he had done recently with his life.

Somewhere along the line of crying he had dozed off and it was only when he felt small and sticky hands on his face did he jerk awake, big hazel, almost amber eyes stared right back at him from under a head of curly black hair.

"Uhh…" he gulped and the kid because this was a kid and he forgot just how small they could be at that age growing from baby to toddler tried to hoist himself up on the bed.

"Cwry?" the word was slightly muffled from the thumb stuck in his mouth and it was a boy, a very naked little boy who still had traces of soap on his body.

"Um... I was but I'm okay now" he gave his best smile and when the kid smiled back he figured it had been a good one.

The sticky hand was still on his face, smelling distinctly like maple syrup. His stomach growled in response.

Taking the holy-shit-so-tiny hand in his own Shane tried his best to wipe the stickiness away with the outer sheet that covered his legs. The little boy just stared at him and Shane for a moment felt a bit intimidated at the steady and soulful gaze that was being directed his way from a person no older than maybe three.

"Up." it was more of a demand than a request and Shane knew immediately that this child had people wrapped around its sticky fingers.

Shane grudgingly denied him being one of those people now when he complied and lifted the boy off the ground, a chubby belly, giggle and all. Resting him on his lap Shane was at a loss as to what to do now with a butt naked toddler on his lap covered in soap and syrup. The police academy never trained him for this.

"You're an escape artist huh."

The boy gave him a grin around the thumb, all tiny teeth, and saliva. "Poof."

Shane chuckled "Yea poof."

"You go poof?" that was a question that could be interpreted in so many different ways but Shane just nodded.

The little boy nodded back, looking much too serious for someone who was still in his streaking stages of life. His hand that was now devoid of all syrup pat Shane's own three times.

"O'tay now, dun cwry no more 'tay?"

Shane blinked slowly down at the miniature human who was resting in his lap, finding a loose thread on the blanket very fascinating.

What was he supposed to say to a tiny toddler who gave him life advice?

"Okay," the boy grinned at him again with even more teeth and saliva.

Along the way of answering weird questions that sounded more as if the boy was just saying words he knew -

"Bwerry?"

"Uhh, yea?"

"Yaay!"

Shane ended up playing five games of patty-cake, eight episodes of peek-a-boo, two intense rounds of tickle-monster and then a rocky story that he conjured from thin air when the boy who looked to be nodding off demanded a story.

Now he had a sleeping and drooling toddler that was still butt naked on his lap. He had been expecting someone to burst inside the room frantically and frazzled during round one of patty-cake but no one had yet to come.

Looking back down at the child he moved a lock of the curly black hair from his face and tucked it back with the rest.

Now, what was he supposed to do?

He didn't know how long it was that he was alone with only the sound of the kid's soft snores but he must have fallen asleep at some point because he found himself startling awake at the sound of someone knocking on the door.

His nose twitched as an older man stepped into the room, his dirty blond hair combed and for all rights and reason, he looked as if he was someone's father with the light sweater he had on and the jeans that were just a bit too baggy around the thighs.

His demeanor wasn't anything like the confident sharply polite alpha that had been 'Hermione', instead, his posture and the gentle air around him spoke of an omega even before his scent did.

"Hullo, I'm Remus, Hermione told me you're Shane and -"

His expression softened a great deal more and Shane looked to where the man was staring, the tiny figure of the boy that was still asleep in his lap as if Shane was his personal bed.

"So that's where you got yourself to, I'm really sorry about him. He tends to think of running naked after his bath is the best way to make fun and games. Takes after his father he does."

The man, Remus, placed the tray covered by a cheesecloth on the bedside table before he gently picked the small boy up with practiced ease or maybe it was just a natural skill that came with being an omega?

Shane found himself relaxing almost involuntarily the longer the man stayed in his personal space, maybe it was because he recognized someone just like him or maybe it was the fact that he was the adorable kid's Pa; regardless of whatever the reason he found himself leaning towards the man that smelled more like chocolate, paper and oddly enough traces of car oil than anything else.

Looking up he flinched when a pair of hazel eyes just stared down at him, understanding so well embedded in them that it actually made Shane feel ashamed even though he had no right to be. Leaning back as far as he could against the pillow he cleared his throat and scratched his beard, looking everywhere but at the other omega.

It was like a biological attraction for omegas to feel safe when in the presence of other omegas, even more so when the omega in question was mated and had children, the feeling was something Shane hadn't experienced since he was a boy and his mother had totted him around in her arms.

Clearing his throat again he nodded to the still sleeping boy that had turned to nuzzle his face into his 'mother's' neck. "He's yours then"

Remus smiled at Shane, a small but brilliant thing that made him a bit uncomfortable.

"He's a bit of an escape artist I'm afraid"

Shane's lips twitched "He goes poof" he repeated the boy's words and Remus' eyes sparkled as he laughed loudly.

"I see he's told you the trick of his then." Remus sighed and pressed a soft kiss to the black curls on the boy's head. "He's a bit of a handful but every bit of trouble he gives is solely from the other half of his DNA, but I wouldn't trade it for anything."

Shane watched as Remus rubbed his nose along the boy's nape and the toddler squirmed in his sleep, his small hand coming up to smack the man on the nose.

"Ma...ma...itchy" he mumbled and Shane couldn't contain the snort of mirth and even Remus chuckled.

"Somehow my mustache is itchy but he loves his father's goatee. Favoritism until he's hungry or sleepy and then it's all me. His name is Theodore but we call him Teddy since it's been decided that's a bit of a mouthful for a three-year-old to handle."

"Teddy…" Shane murmured, testing out the name of the boy he spent maybe what was over two hours with.

They sat in silence for a few moments before Remus jumped up from the side of the bed and in the process jumped Shane who immediately reached for his side only to remember that he no longer had any weapons and was only wearing sweatpants under the sheet.

"I almost forgot your breakfast. Shoot, it must be partially cold by now - ah, do you mind if I rest him on the bed?"

Shane shook his head and Remus smiled at him, settling Teddy back on the sheet by the foot of the bed where the footboard was that would prevent the boy from rolling off.

"Hermione said to tell you that Madam Pomfrey isn't very happy about you eating solids so soon after you woke up and that to eat slowly so you won't upset your stomach with the reintroduction of complex foods. So I only brought you eggs and some pancakes and some fruit juice."

Shane's eyes widened as the tray was set in his lap, the eggs slightly runny, three pancakes shining with syrup and a large mug of orange juice.

"I really hope it's okay, I should have asked before I set the plate but Sirius said that you would probably eat anything and-"

Shane reached out and grabbed the man's hand, the hand instinctively squeezing back around his.

He didn't understand why the man was fussing over the food when this was the first time in such a long time that he was even staring at something edible that he didn't find in an abandoned supermarket or found in a stolen bag.

"Thank-you." his voice sounded rough even to his ears but Remus just smiled back and covered Shane's hand with his second one "You're very welcome."

Shane let himself soak up the contact before the smell of eggs, juice, and syrup lured him to pull away; the fork in his hand shaking a bit as he stabbed the fluffy eggs and brought it to his lips.

He wasn't aware that he was shoveling food into his mouth until a hand was placed over his to stop the forkful of pancakes from being stuffed in his already full mouth.

"Take your time, you don't have to rush. I promise it won't taste as good coming out if you upset your stomach."

Shane chewed and swallowed, setting the fork down to take his first gulp of cool mildly sweet juice and "Fuck…"

Remus chuckled and leaned back in the chair he had been sitting in since placing the food on Shane's lap.

"I remember saying something similar after we got this place up and running and we all had our first proper meal. Sirius' own rendition was much more colourful."

Savouring the taste of the juice he swallowed it as slowly as he could "That's your husband."

Remus perked up a bit "Husband, best-friend, mate, father of my child. He's everything to me."

Shane was a bit surprised to hear the confidence that came from saying such a thing. There was no doubt to be heard and whoever 'Sirius' was he must have been someone spectacular to attract someone as homely as Remus was.

"Do you have anyone waiting for you on the outside?"

Shane speared a piece of egg and added it to the cut of pancake. "No one."

"Hermione told me you said you had a group-"

"I'm not going to tell you anything about them so if you wanna kick me out then do it."

"You're not going to be evicted, Shane. We just like to avoid misunderstandings as much as possible when it comes to group members. If you have a group or had a group then that is your personal business, we just want to make sure no one will be coming knocking on our doors with a tank demanding we return you."

"You don't have to worry about anyone coming for me."

Admitting that he didn't have anyone out there that would even remotely care if he was alive or dead hurt more than he would've liked to admit but it was one of the many truths he had to face.

Remus nodded and Shane went back to eating much much slower this time and it was only when there was a little left on his plate that his stomach cried defeat even though he wanted to eat much more.

Remus took the tray up after another few minutes and placed it back on the bedside table.

"How do you feel now?"

That was a good question. How did he feel? His body still ached in a places but the void that had been his stomach was finally full for the first time in a very long time.

"I feel good."

Remus smiled at him again and Shane looked away.

Someone as nice as him shouldn't be giving someone like Shane such a kind expression. Not after the things he had done, not after he had killed Otis and very nearly his best friend.

Feeling his foot being grabbed he looked down to where Teddy was sleeping, thumb still in mouth.

He shouldn't be here being fed and surrounded by people who were looking out for his best interest because as much as he didn't trust them, he believed in their sincerity and he shouldn't have any of it.

Rick should be here eating a proper meal and sleeping in a real bed not him.

It should be Carl that was enjoying pancakes because the boy loved anything sweet ever since Rick and Shane introduced him to donuts when he was two years old.

He didn't deserve any of this. He didn't deserve any of this kindness not after everything he did, not after what he almost succeeded in doing not after -

"Shane! Shane! Hey..it's okay, it's-"

Shane pulled away from the hands that held him as his breathing became quicker "No no no no, it's not, it's not! I-I shouldn't… I shouldn't be here… I-I… not after what I did - not after-"

Remus was stronger than he looked under the sweater because he grabbed Shane's hands again that were tangling themselves in his hair and held them tight, his expression now worried, the concern tangible.

"I don't know what you did but we all have our demons to face we-"

"No no no you don't...you don't understand I-I killed someone I killed-"

Remus leaned in closer and Shane shuddered when the sweet smell wafted from the blond, the calming pheromones that only an omega had, enveloped him like a blanket.

"Did you have to in order to survive?"

The question shocked him since he didn't expect such a direct question.

"Shane, did you kill him because it meant that you wouldn't have to die? Did his death mean you got to live?"

Did he really have to kill Otis back then or was it for nothing? They were running out of ammo and the pistols were almost out of bullets, Otis was slow from the start and would most likely have continued to slow them both down with his lack of stamina but Shane should've found a way - he could've found a way somehow to help the man make it back to the farm. He could've helped him but that might've gotten him killed as well.

If he had stayed with Otis, if he had stayed with him they would've gotten caught.

The horde had been huge and no matter where they turned more kept coming. If he had stayed and helped Otis, if he had done what Rick would've in that situation he would've died.

Shooting Otis in the leg and leaving him as bait maybe wasn't the right thing to do but he Shane had wanted to live.

He still did.

Looking up at Remus he shook his head "I didn't have a choice. I swear I didn't have a choice."

Remus nodded "Would you ever hurt a child Shane?"

Shane flinched backwards as he tried to tug his hands from Remus' surprisingly strong hold "No! No I wouldn't!"

Remus just held on tighter and pulled Shane to him before he wrapped him in a tight hug. In that moment he forgot to breathe, his chest stilling as he stiffened in the embrace until his lungs burned and he gasped in a shaky breath.

"You do what you have to in order to survive Shane. You kill or be killed."

Hearing those words come from Remus was like cold water to his system and at the same time it was comforting, the pheromones slowing down his breathing until he was taking in deep calming breaths and his head felt fuzzy as if he was being pulled down to sleep.

Leaning back the older man smiled, his mustache twitching "Don't ever feel ashamed for surviving Shane. If your old group couldn't understand that then their lost."

Shane felt his head hit the pillow as Remus pulled away, Teddy in his arms.

"Get some rest, I'll stop by later to give you a shave, ah, you're already asleep huh."

Remus smiled and pressed a kiss to Teddy's head. "Come along Teddy- bear"

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A/n: