Chapter 2: Empty Nightmares

Rating: (K-T) Mostly Family Friendly.

Pairings: Louis/Clementine

A/N: Haha. Its been too long, friends. Jesus, I should get my schedule together.

Clementine was sleeping.

She was warm and deep in her state of slumber, letting dreams, that for once, were normal and placid pass her by.

It was a good night's sleep. Most nights, she wouldn't be able to. The peace on the outside did not compute well with the torment in her mind, and unfortunately, she had to deal with them like a woman now.

She wasn't a scared little girl anymore. She wasn't a lost and angry teenager. No, she was now a more resilient, calm 30-year-old woman. At least, that's who she thought she was. Sometimes, on rare points of her sudden welts of sadness, she felt like a little girl.

She felt vulnerable. Angry. Sad.

Lost.

It was like a nightmare in her head. Nightmares that were once real in her past.

She lived through them and she didn't fail.

Louis told her that. He told her probably more than a million times in their time together, ever since they met, that she was not a failure.

No, he would tell her that she was a survivor. A smart, misfortunate survivor with a good heart. He told her it wasn't easy. He told her she should have never expected to save everyone, and he reminded her time and time again that it wasn't her fault for killing people.

And he would convince her. She would feel happy. But the sadness that remained insisted that she was.

She was...

A failure.

"Mom...?"

Clementine had woken up. She was always a light sleeper, unlike her husband, who was currently snoring like a dying whale beside her. Insomnia was a best friend of hers, so waking up all of a sudden was no surprise. For her entire life, at least after the apocalypse started back when she was nine, was always about keeping her guard up and never let herself be caught in a predicament. So far, it's saved her. It kept her safe.

She blinked wearily and sat up a little in the bed she shared with Louis, squinting a bit in the dark to notice Lee, her son who was now 8, standing by her bed.

"Lee? What is it, sweetie?" Clementine asked softly, voice hoarse from sleep.

Lee's expression was blank in the dark, but to Clementine, she could see as light as day that he was scared. Her friends called her a weird one for just knowing things about them, like taking into consideration someone's expression or what they could be thinking, but she thought it was pretty normal. Especially with her family. She knew them well, and she knew when they were hurt, happy, scared... It was almost hard for her not to notice.

"I... I had a bad dream again." He mumbled quietly.

Clementine remembered her nights when she was 16 when A.J would wake up and ask to sleep next to her in bed because he had a bad dream. He was a tough little boy, and Clementine knew that, but she also knew that he was only a kid. A baby, even.

And so was her children, who, on the other side, where A.J's bed used to be, was sleeping. She could see Diana sleeping soundly while gripping a small torn plushie bunny. She should set out to find her a new one. Maybe she could ask Ruby to fix it for her?

"I'm sorry," Clementine cooed, sitting up in bed, "Do you want to sleep with us tonight?"

Lee frowned and looked back at his bed, looking at his twin, before shaking his head. "No. I'm older now. I just... I guess I'm just scared." Lee mumbled.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Clementine asked, watching him go to his bed and sit on it.

Lee pulled at his sleeves to cover his hands from the cold. "I don't know. It's sort of... stupid." He said.

Clementine smiled warmly at him, feeling 9 again. The little ones always say such dumb things, and yet, she never once found it that way. It was rather understanding, at least for her. "I don't think it's stupid to have nightmares. Everyone's afraid of something." She told him.

"But you're not afraid of anything," Lee said, emitting a frustrated huff. "You're fearless, unlike dad, who's always telling me how much he's scared of cantaloupe."

"He hates it, sweetie. There's a difference," Clementine chuckled and looked behind her when she felt Louis stir.

Lee looked at his dad and found him awake, blinking tiredly at them.

"Oh, oh jeez." He said, and opened his eyes wide before sitting up, "Is it time to head out already?"

Clementine snorted, "No, dork. We're just... having a little talk," Clementine cleared up.

"Oh," Louis said, "That makes sense... Is... Is something troubling you?" Louis asked Clementine, worried.

"No," Clementine replied and looked at her son, "Rather... the opposite."

Louis looked at his son, "Oh no. Lee, buddy, do you need water? Food? I will protect you with my life—"

"You kind of already established that like... oh, I don't know, my whole life?" Lee said, rolling his eyes. "But thanks, dad. I'm alright, though."

"You look like you've slept terribly," Louis said, frowning, "Was this another nightmare?"

Lee frowned. "Yeah." He mumbled, lowering his head, as if in shame.

"Do you want to sleep with us?"

"I've already asked him that and he said no," Clementine replied for him, "He wants to be a big boy right now."

"Mom. C'mon. I'm having a crisis, here." Lee said, glaring at her.

Clementine sighed. "Sorry." She said, sheepish. "I know nightmares are no joking matter." She whispered in the darkness of the room, the candle long put out, and the moon providing only a plink of light. It was always dark. There hasn't been another lightbulb since...

"What did you dream about, kiddo?" Louis asked, moving a bit to sit comfortably next to his wife.

Lee straightened and his eyes looked weary, "I dreamed I was on a boat." He mumbled, and his hand gripped his sleeve tight, "And that I was under attack. There was a lot of fire." He explained rather horrified, his eyes becoming wide.

"Boat?" Louis asked.

"Fire?" Clementine added on.

"Yes," Lee said, nodding his head, "There was a lot of smelly's around, and I kept hearing the sound of guns," Lee moved his hands around wildly, as if imitating the very scene, "And I saw... I saw your hat, Mom."

Clementine's mouth made a thin line. "My... hat?"

Lee nodded numbly. "I also saw an ax. It... It was—y'know—those typical dreams, where things don't make sense at all but you think they're real, and then it turns out it really isn't—" Lee paused, glancing at her hat on the drawer separating the two beds in the room, "The ax was chasing your hat. It was just moving around like it was trying to..."

Lee glanced at her chopped leg, "Cut it."

Louis felt his blood run cold, his eyes going wide.

Clementine unconsciously placed a hand on the thigh of her cut leg, her body chilled. "Was..." She stopped, pondering. Her brows were furrowed, and she looked as if someone told her a horrifying story. "Was there anything else?"

Lee frowned deeply, and in the dark, it was hard to see, but his bottom lip began to wobble. "Yes. It was scary... Because when the ax happened to cut part of your hat, the boat began to move a lot and it exploded, and it sent me flying somewhere else. I didn't feel hurt, or—or—I wasn't dead, but... I saw... I saw dad," Lee inhaled a bit as to not look like a baby, "I saw dad struggling to get Tenn. And there was this girl, she was all bloody and her hair was red, and you were on the other side of a broken bridge, and A.J, he looked super little—he was pointing a gun at... Tenn." Lee whispered, looking up to look at his mother in the eye, confused, and scared.

Louis grabbed onto Clementine's hand, "Did... What happened afterward?" Louis asked, feeling Clementine squeeze his hand. He squeezed back.

Lee began to cry. "I didn't see. I heard a shot, and I heard someone cry out, and then... I saw you, mom. Your leg, it was all fu—messed up," He caught himself, wiping his tears away, "You were struggling to walk. And A.J, he looked so little... He was helping you. He was shooting a lot of the smelly's around, and dad, he was holding Tenn, and he was telling him to climb the fence—"

Lee stopped talking when he noticed his mom crying. She wasn't covering her face like people usually do, instead, she looked at him, with her tears just falling, as if she didn't mind that they were. "Mom?" Lee asked softly, getting up from his bed.

Clementine felt Lee's tiny hands touch her upper arm, "Mom?" He called again.

Clementine replied by bringing a hand over to her son's head and bringing him close. "I'm sorry you had a nightmare," Clementine's broken voice told him sincerely, more tears coming down. "Nightmares... They're a terrible infringement of our imagination. And almost always, nightmares appear so real that they scare you. It's scary because we don't understand. We relive our past, and we relive a fear we don't want to. It's always happened..." Clementine mumbled, running her fingers across Lee's soft curls as he leaned onto her shoulder.

Louis held them all close, glancing at his little girl, finding her staring at them.

"Dad? Mom? Ken? What's... What's going on?" Diana asked, rubbing her eyes. She yawned and got out of bed, heading over to sit beside her dad.

Louis hugged his little girl when she sat on the bed, "Just a nightmare." He mumbled.

Diana frowned. "A... nightmare?" She asked, and glanced at her mother, "Who... Who had a nightmare?"

Clementine offered a sad smile, "Your brother, sweetheart."

"Oh," Diana replied, and her frowned deepened. "Is... Is it the boat one again?" She asked, surprising her parents.

Lee felt the tears begin to cease. "...Yes." He muttered softly in reply.

"Again?" Louis asked, widening his eyes, "What do you mean, again?" He directed his question at Diana, who looked like she had just been caught red-handed.

"Uh... Sorry, dad. You did not have to know about this stuff. I'm glad Lee told you guys, but like..." Diana and Lee looked at each other, a small understanding of connection going across from them. Diana turned her hazel eyes to her mother, "He had been having them since we were littler. It wasn't always about boats, I remember it was about—"

"Sometimes it was just snow." Lee interrupted, still leaning onto his mom, "Sometimes it was the school on fire. Other times it was in this...big place with lots of people that were infected with smelly's. No matter what though, I always felt like mom was in the dream." Lee said ominously, his eyes gazing at his bed. "A treehouse. A mansion."

Diana was looking at their bed the same. "You said people always died in your dreams, right?" Diana asked.

Louis and Clementine looked at each other with wide eyes, feeling horrified that their children were having... eerily similar dreams that resembled both of their pasts. Worse yet, they dreamt and were scared and they never told. Did their children not... trust them enough? Are they bad parents?

"Yes," Lee replied.

The room became quiet, and the peaceful sleep had vanished.

The wind of the outside hit against the trees kept close by their window, making them look like humans trying to get in. The little kids knew not to fear, however. They learned long ago that fear was just something used to control you and distract you from the beauties of the outside.

They were taught well from their parents, the good and the bad.

Yet... Louis and Clementine felt like they failed their children just now. They were never told they had nightmares. And even so, shouldn't it have been their responsibility to check if they were okay? Shouldn't they have had the insight to help their children?

"You guys never told us?" Louis asked, forlorn.

Lee and Diana exchanged saddened looks. "We didn't want to make you guys feel sad," Diana muttered.

Clementine's tears fell harder from her eyes, not only about her past but now about her children as well. "I'm so sorry you two," Clementine mumbled quietly and attempted to wipe her tears away, "I should have never been so... tragic."

"What do you mean?" Lee asked, confused, "You were only being sad, mom. We all get sad sometimes."

"Exactly," Louis said, stern, "You should never apologize for feeling the way you do. I get sad all the time too, you know." Louis said, smiling, "I'm a sappy little sh... shivering stick! Haha..." Louis said, smiling sheepishly at Clementine when she smiled fondly at him.

"Yeah, mommy. I get sad too. It's okay to be sad. We all have feelings." Diana assured them, jumping out of Louis' hold and hugging her mother. It was a tight, comfy hug, and Clementine couldn't help but hug back.

Lee hugged as well, "We'll understand. Always." He said beseechingly so, feeling his mother return his hug. Hugging a mother is the most cherished and beautiful thing. It makes a child feel safe, and it lets them know you're there for them no matter what.

"Where's my hug?" Louis asked jokingly, pouting.

Clementine looked at him and smiled, and let go of his hand to snatch him by the neck and bring him close, hearing him release a light chuckle while doing so.

Their hug lasted for a good minute, and when they all let go, she felt happy that her family understood her. But she felt sad for other reasons.

"Promise us you two will tell us everything," Clementine told them, furrowing her eyebrows.

"We don't want you guys hiding stuff from us just because we'll get sad or mad or... whatever else. I'm a chill dad, you guys can trust me!" Louis said, smiling at them.

"I'm a very understanding mother," Clementine nodded her head, "To be honest, I'd be more likely to be angry at your father for his dumb shenanigans rather than you two," Clementine chuckled, receiving a snicker from her husband.

"Completely true. She fed me cantaloupe once just because I forgot to tell A.J we were going to head out for supper." Louis said, laughing a bit at the memory. Oh, how time flies by...

Lee scrunched up his brows. "When was that? I don't remember any of that."

"Me neither," Answered his twin sibling.

Louis hummed while Clementine thought back on it, trying to recall when it was. She was sure it was before they were born...

"I think... I think I was 20?" Clementine asked, turning to her husband for confirmation.

"After I just turned 21 right? To be real honest, I can't remember what day I turned 21. Do we even have calendars anymore? I don't think we've had a calendar since smelly patrols started walking around!" Louis babbled about, making Clementine roll her eyes.

"It was when we were 20," Clementine told her kids with finality, smiling.

Diana nodded and smiled back, glad to see that her mother wasn't crying anymore.

Lee smiled too at the sight but then frowned. He still wasn't sure what his dreams meant. His mother began crying out of nowhere when he told her too, which confused him further. "Mom?"

"Yes?" Louis and Clementine both answered. Clementine smacked Louis' arm playfully when she heard him answer as well.

"Yes, Ken?" Clementine answered rightfully, squinting her eyes in Louis' direction.

Lee fumbled with his thumbs, rubbing them back and forth. "My dreams... I'm confused."

"We all get confused, little man."

"Yes, but..." Lee shook his head, "Why did you start crying, mom?" He asked, gentle, hoping he didn't accidentally make her cry again.

Clementine had frowned then. "I'm surprised I never told you." She stopped to think, trying to figure out how to tell them. Perhaps the same way she told A.J about what happened would be a good way. But that didn't seem alright, remembering that the look on his face resembled great terror upon discussing her life.

"Told us?" Diana asked, confused, "Tell us what?" She asked as she was always the most curious of the twins.

Louis and Clementine looked at each other. Clementine looked worried. Louis looked somber. They both felt uneasy, and they held hands again, giving in to each other's warmth. They turned to their children who were now opposite of them, sitting together, intrigued and upset all the same.

"When I was sixteen," Clementine began with a deep breath, and let it out slowly, "Our group, before it became the larger one it is today, got attacked."

"We were just kids," Louis said, his mind-warping back to so many years ago, "They were called the Delta. They were a large group part of a bigger community, and they were at war."

Lee could feel Diana still. He looked at her, raising an eyebrow. She returned his expression with a worried one. "Who were they at war with?" Lee asked, receiving a look from his sibling.

"Richmond. It was a place A.J and I were a part of, and even branded," Clementine explained, rolling up her sleeve to show a burned essence of a brand.

Diana's eyes widened. "They... hurt you...?" She asked in a whisper, staring at her mother's arm.

Clementine shook her head, "No, sweetie. It was... It was just an initiation." Clementine paused, and her eyes hardened. "They took A.J away from me, though. But that story can be for another day. For now, we're just going to explain why your dream... brought tough emotions out of us," Clementine explained, suddenly looking sad and disheartened.

Clementine closed her eyes and felt Louis squeeze her hand much as he did earlier. The thought of him supporting her brought a sad yet calming vibe from within her soul, and she wouldn't ask for anyone else to bring that out of her. Perhaps A.J and her children. But Louis... Louis was a lover she hoped never to lose. "They were at war. They needed people to fight for their war. And they saw us, young and still strong, as a perfect source to retrieve more. Better yet, the woman in charge to take us was a woman who had kept me safe when I was your age." Clementine said, telling the story with a tone of anger the twins have never heard of her before.

They knew their mother wasn't the type to become angry unless it involved someone or something jeopardizing the lives of others. And they have only seen her get so angry as only a dangerous threat to be delivered from her mouth. Clementine was very understanding. She wasn't calm. She was always nervous, and Lee was beginning to think his mother was only nervous because of the lives brought upon this world of zombies and death.

The twins had seen a fair share of death since their small-time living, and though viewing it for the first time had no real reaction of horror, they both had an inkling of terror in their gut whenever they happened.

"Did the woman die?" Lee asked, leveling his gaze with his mother, hoping for a correct answer.

Louis looked uneasy from his son's question, as it wasn't the first time he'd ask one like that before. He was almost as scary as A.J was his age, except a bit more apart from the rest.

Clementine took in a serious expression. "No."

"No?" Lee asked, incredulous. Diana looked scared for sure, now.

"No," Clementine repeated.

Lee frowned. He did not scowl. He was not angry. "Wasn't she a threat?" He asked, crinkling his eyebrows together in confusion.

"Yes. Very."

"Then... Why didn't you kill her?"

Louis shook his head, "Ken, my man, you can't just go around murdering people. It's not cool, like me," Louis said, attempting to lighten the topic.

Lee made a face. "But you have to protect the people you love. If that lady... She wanted to take... You, right?"

"Yes, unfortunately. We were the perfect targets, and in a tragic series of events, she happened to take three of us at the time." Clementine told them, feeling an inch of panic course through her veins. She could still remember it all so clearly. She could feel it, even. It was like she was there just an hour ago.

"Before they took us, we had to fight them off with what we had. We had a plan, and... A friend of mines," Louis sighed, "His name was Mitch. Jeez, I completely forgot about him. Anyway, the plan was to build a bomb, and he always had a notch to build those. It was his specialty as he called it, and it was perfect at the time. We were going to blow them up, and if that failed," He looked over at Clementine, "We had traps set up in the main area."

"Whoa," Diana said, in awe. "You guys had bombs? Sweet! What happened?"

"Well, the plan worked well. But that wasn't enough. And evidently, they took three of us."

Lee crossed his arms, doubting. "What does this story have to do with the boat in my dream? I don't remember dreaming about... Actually yeah, I do."

"That's the thing, they took our people to the boat," Said Louis, and his eyes glimmered with fear as he opened his mouth to explain what happened afterward.

"We made another plan to get them back," Clementine sighed tiredly, no longer feeling the sleep whisk her away as she had wanted it to. She was too focused on her children to even care about that.

Lee raised an eyebrow. "So they took them on the boat. What happened? How... Did it go on fire?"

"Well, obviously. We planted a bomb in it. So, since it went off—"

"—We set our people free and I was left on the boat to grab A.J, while Louis took them down to where it was safe as it set off," Clementine explained quickly, seeing the knowing looks of her children.

Diana grabbed onto Lee's arm, "A.J was in trouble!?"

"The woman took him," Clementine said, almost hissing out the words. "She took him just to spite me."

"That would explain the boat. And the fire. And the gunshots," Lee concluded, putting a finger up for each. "But what about the ax? Or the bridge?"

"The ax... The ax was most likely the same ax that damaged and eventually cut, part of my leg," Clementine said regretfully, glancing at her long-gone limb. Even now, she swore she could still feel as if her foot was there and she was still able to move it.

Lee's eyes widened, "There was a girl too. She had the ax," He pointed out.

"Her name was Minerva," Louis looked around the room, still able to see the colorful pictures on the wall, "She was... Tenn's sister, and your aunt Violet's girl."

Lee took in the information, trying to process the words he spoke. His aunt's loved one? Tenn's sister? He had never heard of her. "She was family?"

"In a way," Clementine said quietly, still looking at her leg. "But she... She was corrupted."

"She got bitten?"

"No, but yes," Louis said, moving his hands in a circular motion. "It was complicated."

"The delta took her before I came to this community. Her and her twin."

"Twin...?" Diana asked softly, eyes widening.

"What happened to her twin?" Lee asked, frowning.

Louis and Clementine looked at each other, and then at their children. "She died," Louis replied, and an ache ran over his chest upon seeing the shocked looks of his children,

"How?"

"Why?"

Clementine bit her lip, unsure of how to tell them. She couldn't lie. And though they were older and were unfortunately prone to witness death, Clementine was sure telling them how she died would affect them somehow. After all, they were twins, just like the troubled ones of her past. "Minerva killed her. I guess, from what I can remember, it was to display an act of bravery and to represent that she was loyal to the Delta." She replied.

The twins were quiet and regarded their dad with looks of hurt and confusion. "...They were family." Lee murmured.

Louis gave a sad look at his son's statement. "Sometimes people don't know what they're doing. Sometimes they're forced to do it. We don't know why people do things either, munchkins." Louis said softly, appearing upset over what he said.

Diana rubbed her eyes, "Why would she want to kill her? I would never kill Lee," Diana said, her voice quiet and broken.

Clementine could see the tears sparkle from her eyes in the pale moonlight coming from the window. She saw her daughter hold onto her brother's arm, close, and innocent eyes looking devastated. Of course, her child would act like this. What was she thinking, telling them this? They shouldn't know something so awful. It would traumatize them.

'It was about time you did. They can learn from the mistakes you did,' She thought to herself, glancing at her son and finding him troubled.

"People are confusing," Lee muttered, sighing. "I can't believe she killed her twin. I can't believe she cut your leg. I—She deserved to die, in my dream, I mean." Lee said, glaring at his parents, "Who does she think she is, harming others and thinking she should be allowed to keep surviving?"

"She wasn't the one who cut my leg," Clementine corrected softly, deciding not to comment on anything else he said. She understood perfectly well.

"But... But I saw in my dream—she had the ax, mom. And you said she did, too." Lee sputtered, confused.

Louis shook his head, "Minnie didn't cut her leg. She only damaged it." He explained, earning various looks of anger and puzzlement.

"Then... How did you lose your leg, mommy?" Diana asked, rubbing away her tears and looking into her mother's watering eyes.

She suppressed them as best as she could, and she could feel Louis rubbing her back. She attempted a smile, "I..." she stopped, feeling her body go back in time and relive the moment. It happened enough in her dreams. She felt her brain tell her to give up, to stay. Her mind thought back on a tiny A.J, and she realized that at that moment, none of this would have happened.

She wouldn't see A.J grow.

She wouldn't marry Louis.

She would have never had Lee or Diana, and she would have never been able to witness the rest of her life until now, if not for that simple bite from a walker so long ago.

She could've died that day.

And none of this... None of this would be real.

It would have been an 'if' in her life, an 'if' of sentimental bitterness that would have remained to those who knew her in life.

In simple terms, it would have been a tragedy.

She felt her tears fall again. "I got bit that day." She muttered softly.

Lee widened his eyes, and he felt his eyes water.

Diana began to cry.

Louis trembled at the reminder.

"My leg was cut open by Minerva's ax, which rendered me helpless. I had to get up and make it across the bridge, and Louis had to be forced to move Tenn over as well. Minerva was shot by A.J, and she was killed before being devoured by the herd. I remember how painful it was, and I could still hear Tenn's mournful cry, and I could still remember seeing everything unfold before me. We had to run. We needed to make it back to the school, and Louis and Tenn made it over the fence before A.J and I did."

Clementine stopped to wipe her ongoing tears. She would always cry because of this. She thought she wouldn't need to anymore, not after so much that's happened to her. Perhaps the thought of never having a family was the thing she feared for so long. It happened so many times, and she lost so many people, she thought it wasn't possible. To think that this... would never be possible was a devasting thought. "There were a lot of walkers. A.J had to shoot them, as I was too distracted because of the pain in my leg to notice," She could remember climbing, "I climbed. I got bit."

There was a silent, tragedic, pause.

And then she continued, sniffling, "A.J had to drag me to James' barn... And there were just so many walkers..." Her voice faded as she looked at her children, her heart tearing away when she kept reminding herself she would have never had them if she were to have died the day she got bit, "I remember that I decided to stay there. I couldn't move, I was weak. My heart was slowing little by little, and for the first time in my life, I felt like giving up." Clementine said, heartbroken to see the tears of her little ones increase, "I wanted to. I was... I was so done, running. I was so tired of living."

She looked over at her husband and felt him bury his head in her neck before she could see his expression, embracing her whole-heartedly. She felt her children do the same.

They were hugging again.

And she was loving, again.

She felt so scared. So hopeless. It was like her life was being thrown away; as if she had never meant anything. Her struggles, her hardships, her losses... She felt them pile up into one and land right on A.J, the first little one she ever considered family. On that day, she realized her effort was to die. She was accepting of it, she knew it would come one day.

"We all fear things," Clementine said, bringing her hand over to pull her children closer to her, "I'm just as scared as any of you. I was scared to die. And today, I'm scared I'll lose you all." She mumbled while her tears kept falling and landing on her torn jeans.

Louis could never imagine himself without his beloved Clementine. He can't imagine himself alone. Not without his kids, not without A.J. Not without his friends. "You won't lose us," Louis murmured slowly, pulling away to look at her properly.

"We promise," Lee said, still hugging his mother, scared that if he lets go, she'll leave. It was a funny thought, but he was a kid with simple fears and simple hopes.

They were all kids. At least, once upon a time.

They all had simple fears.

Simple dreams.

Simple hopes.

But they all held a complex love no other can ever break.

And Clementine knew that now.

She had a family with her.

And how can she lose hope knowing that?

A/N: Eight-year-olds aren't all as dumb as we think they are. They use pretty complicated language, or just straight-up sound dumb. And they're cute.

Anyway... Here is your chapter! I told you it would be up in December.

(Sorry for the wait, though. I still have 20,000 plus words chapters to publish on my other stories...)

Toodles~

Ana.