A/N: Hiiiiii... I KNOW. I know, I took forever. I'm sorry, here's an extra long one to make up for it! I hope you are all safe and well! This one is for goldengirlschildhood on the tumbles, who really helped me out by letting me vent my writer's block in spam form.

Disclaimer: I own a new bed and a new TV which have both saved me during social distancing, but I do not own Twilight. Duh.

*

"Okay, so you got married," Emmett said, shrugging. "How?"

"Well, there's a license involved, and a justice of the peace or a religious official – "

"Honey, I think he meant – "

"Honey?!"

"Well, yes, we are married, you see, pet names come with the territory – "

"Just tell me about your fucking wedding, please?" Emmett was practically purple with frustration, and his tie was crooked. He looked close to deranged.

Edward opened his mouth to say some other sarcastic thing, but stopped when he felt Bella's hand on his knee. He glanced over to see her giving him a look that may as well have been "stop" written across her forehead. She tilted her head toward Emmett with a sympathetic look. Edward realized he was probably just as frustrated as they were. Although, Emmett hadn't been punched in the eye. Still, he could be more cooperative. He took a deep breath and nodded to Emmett.

"Well, that morning I took my dad down for breakfast."

*

"Young lady," Edward Sr. called to the waitress, "I've decided that this orange juice needs to become a mimosa."

The woman, tray in hand and smile affixed to her face, nodded. "Right away, sir."

Edward covered a laugh by coughing. "It's nine A.M, Dad."

"Yes, well," Edward Sr. said, pausing to sip his coffee, "it's your fault I have a hangover."

Unfortunately, true. They'd all decimated the mini-bar after several hours virtual fishing. Jesus, he was a dork. He'd had a veritable bachelor party with his father and soon-to-be fathers-in-law.

"Speaking of which," his father added, "what are all of these charges on my credit card?" He showed Edward his phone. "It looks like airfare."

Edward squinted at the information on the screen. He was right, they were airfares. Why would his father be paying for flights?

Shit.

Edward reached into his pocket for his phone, but got stuck trying to pull it back out, and his momentum propelled him out of his chair. His father started laughing at him while he struggled on the ground, finally wresting his phone free and dialing the first person from his call history.

Surprise, surprise, he didn't even remember calling him at 2:03 in the morning.

"Hey, fucker, what's up?" he answered.

"What did we talk about last night?" Edward was sitting on the ground, more focused on the call than righting himself or his chair.

"Jeez, no 'Hey how are ya, Jake?'"

"Hey, how are you Jake? What did we talk about last night?"

There was a pause on the line. "Wow, you really don't remember?"

Edward groaned. "Why else would I ask?" He reached over and tilted his chair back to the upright position, then used it as leverage to pull himself up.

"Because you like torment?"

"Irrelevant, man, what did we talk about?" He dropped back into his seat, and his father shot him an amused smile, clearly holding back from more laughter.

Jake laughed. "We talked about your fucking Vegas trip, man."

Edward breathed a sigh of relief. "Okay. Not as detailed as I'd like, but okay."

"Mostly we talked about you and your pops flying us out for your wedding."

Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit. Edward began to spiral. Who else had he called? Who else knew? Was he in for a world of disappointed looks and a potential haymaker to the face?

Jake was laughing his ass off on the other line.

"Fuck?!" Edward wasn't sure what he was asking, but it definitely came out as a question.

"Chill, man." Jake was still laughing, but he managed to calm down enough to speak. "You called me, and you told me to call Jess, Jas, Ang, and Ben. You were very specific, by the way, for someone who could not have been more trashed. Then you bought the tickets for us, and told me 'Shhhhhhhhhh' for about five minutes straight." Jake laughed louder, almost a bark. "And then you called me 'bro-chacho'."

Edward abruptly stood and paced back and forth. "So…"

"So, I know you're getting married, and Jess and Angie happen to have the next two days off, and Ben switched with Tyler. Jasper can do whatever he wants. And none of them know a damn thing, but they're coming."

Edward slumped into his seat next to his father. "Okay. Fuck, dude."

"Language," his father intoned.

"Yeah," Jake said, "I know. It's right though, you know?"

Edward was silent.

"Isn't it?"

"Yeah," Edward said, on an exhale. "It is."

"Alright," Jake said. "For a second there, I thought I was going to have to kick your ass."

"Okay, Jake, whatever, like you even could," Edward said. "When can we expect you guys?"

"Like, four hours?"

Edward grinned. Bella was going to be so happy. "See you then." They exchanged goodbyes and hung up. Edward turned to his father. "Well, disaster averted. I'll pay you back for the tickets."

"Not to worry son," he said, just as the waitress arrived with a mini bottle of champagne for his orange juice. "Thank you, dear," he said, popping the cork and adding a gratuitous amount of the bubbly to his glass. He and Edward shot her a simultaneous smile and she flushed as she backed away from the table, tripping over her shoes but recovering quickly. Edward Sr. turned to his son, still grinning. "Boy, have we got it in spades, or what?"

Edward just laughed.

*

"So, you took a bunch of my employees and got hitched?"

"Sort of," Edward said, leveling Emmett with a hard stare.

"Literally not at all," Bella said, giving Edward's shoulder a shove.

Emmett folded his arms and leaned on the desk. "Well, then, what did happen?"

"I'm getting to it," Edward said, readjusting his bag of frozen peas. His eye hurt, and talking this much was thirsty work. "Just need some water, or something."

Emmett sighed and got up, making for the break room water cooler.

Bella took a deep breath, reaching up to stretch out her back. Her shirt rode up appealingly, and her eyes drifted closed as a small noise of relief escaped her.

"Well, don't do that," Edward said, the bag of peas dropping down to the floor next to his chair as he watched his wife (his wife) roll her neck and stand up to wander around her chair.

"Do what?" she asked, entirely too innocently.

Edward made a choked noise halfway between a growl and a squeak as she passed in front of him, stretching up once more and leaning slightly to the side, offering Edward a ridiculous view of not only the smooth skin of her waist, but the altogether obscenity of her ass in jeans. Without thinking about it he reached out, landing both hands on her waist and pulling her onto his lap before she could even squeal out a protest. His arms wrapped fully around her waist, and he rested his nose against the column of her neck, breathing in her scent. It was like medicine. His eye even stopped hurting for a second.

"You know exactly what you were doing, Mrs. Masen." He reveled in the slight shiver the traveled along her spine. She squirmed on his lap a bit, and Edward groaned. "Now you stop that before we make a scene in Emmett's office."

Bella giggled as Edward placed kisses along her neck. "Sorry Mr. Masen."

"Gross," they heard from the doorway, as Emmett returned with water for all of them.

Bella tensed, but Edward tightened his grip, preventing her from getting up. "Get used to it," Edward said, planting one last kiss behind Bella's ear before settling her more comfortably on his lap.

"Not at work, I won't." Emmett sat behind his desk, glaring.

"Store's closed, Emmett." Edward rolled his eyes. "And it isn't like I haven't seen Rose on your lap in the office."

"Not to mention," Bella added, "that none of us are clocked in. We're here voluntarily. Because we love you, I might point out." He felt her relax further in his grip, causing him to grin.

Emmett, apparently annoyed at the logic behind Edward's argument, and the fact that Bella had basically shut down any authority he had over the situation, just scowled. "Just drink your water," he snapped.

Edward obliged. "Ahhh," he said, once his water was gone, setting the empty cup on Emmett's desk. "Now, where were we?" He could almost feel Bella rolling her eyes at him, but he didn't care. She was stuck with him forever, after all.

"The wedding? I assume you planned to get to it eventually." Emmett said, studiously looking at his water glass instead of the couple occupying the chair. He couldn't tell if Emmett was angry or uncomfortable, and the throbbing in his eye told him he didn't much care either way.

Emmett was going to like what came next, anyway.

*

"Don't you think Bella would want them there?"

He'd asked the question so innocently, completely oblivious to the utter turmoil his words had caused. They'd been discussing the gathering of their various friends from the airport, and Charlie had commented on the missing Cullens. He'd simply wondered if he'd be looking for them as well. When Edward had assured him that all was well, and that he was perfectly fine without them there (a lie, to be sure, but he figured it was a necessary one), Charlie had asked him.

"Don't you think Bella would want them there?"

Then he'd driven off in the rental van to pick up their friends, leaving Edward flabbergasted.

He had already resigned himself to take this hit. To be the brunt of the jokes, to receive the sidelong glares, to carry the weight of the guilt. He was ready to make this sacrifice; to both want them there and to give up that joy for the sake of his wedding going smoothly.

Edward had been so consumed by action, because she'd said yes, so he had to keep moving, keep pushing, keep making it happen. He hadn't stopped, hadn't thought, not since two nights ago when he'd woken well before the sun with Bella in his arms and known that he could never go back to waking up any other way.

"Don't you think Bella would want them there?"

They were her family too.

Not just his, not just Alice's.

Bella's family.

He was prepared to sacrifice a lot for this, but he couldn't bring himself to sacrifice Bella's happiness. Not any small part of it. Not a thimbleful. Not a molecule. None.

Which is why he found himself pacing the hall outside of her hotel room, (their honeymoon suite, technically, but she'd stayed there with the girls last night) which Alice had dubbed "Bride Central." He was approaching and retreating, over and over, sometimes raising a hand to knock, sometimes not even bothering. He knew what he had to do, but he didn't want to make Bella upset.

He was on a downswing, stepping away from the door, when it flew open, revealing Alice in all her maid-of-honor glory. Her hair was pinned into waves across her forehead, awaiting heat treating or something, and her makeup was impeccable. She had some sort of silk robe on over her dress, and her arm was covered in color swatches, a clear sign that she had been doing other people's makeup.

"I'm sorry," she said, grinning at him. "Renee has been watching you through the peephole for a solid two minutes and we decided to put you out of your misery."

Renee popped her head into view from behind the door, "Hello, son!" she shouted, far too loud for eleven in the morning. She seemed to be taking the Edward Masen Sr. approach to wedding day, meaning the redness of her nose and the looseness of her smile were probably caused by an excessive abuse of champagne.

Edward grinned in spite of himself, but he was sure it looked sickly. He felt nauseous. "Is Bella here?" he asked. "Can I talk to her?"

Renee gave him a quizzical searching look, eyes slightly glassy, but she seemed to notice his distress anyway. "I'm gonna get Baby," she said solemnly, her lips pursed outward, giving her a distinct resemblance to a duck.

Alice glanced over at her before returning her attention to Edward. "Good idea," she called after Renee, never taking her eyes off Edward. "Turn around," she said to him, her eyes narrowing. "You're not supposed to see her day of." Edward obliged, and he could hear Renee yelling throughout the suite, trying to find her daughter. "What's wrong?" Alice asked Edward's back. "You don't have cold feet, do you? Because I'll have to murder you."

"No, Ali-Cat," he said, smiling at the wall in front of him. "I just need to talk to her." He shoved his hands gracelessly into his pockets to keep him from torturing his poor hair any further. He was sure it was sticking up wildly, which Alice was sure to be upset over, but he couldn't help it.

He heard Alice sigh. "I'm going to be mad after this, aren't I?"

Edward chuckled. "Not when I tell you what it entails."

There was a pause where all they heard was "Baby! Baby! Get your ass out here, there's a fine man waiting for you!" from inside the suite.

"What does it entail?" Alice asked, her curiosity getting the better of her.

Edward grinned at the beige walls. "Nope. Gotta talk to my betrothed first."

"I'm coming!" they heard Bella respond to Renee, before she burst into giggles. "Oh my God, Mom, could you not?" Her voice was getting closer, ramping up the butterflies in Edward's stomach, making them flap in a frenzy. "Hey, Edward, what's up?" she asked, her voice as close as Alice's. "Why are you facing the wall?"

"He's not allowed to see you day of!" Alice said, her voice laced with exasperation. "I'll let you two talk, but just know, if you turn around, I'll know."

"Thanks, Alice!" Edward said, waving to her over his shoulder. He was rewarded with Bella's laugh. "Hey, love, how are you feeling today?"

"I'm fine," Bella said. "I woke up with Alice, instead of you, which was less than ideal, but I'm having a grand old time objectifying your butt right now."

Edward shook his behind for her benefit, inciting a peal of laughter from her. "I have a question for you." Her laughter died. "Nothing bad," he amended quickly.

"Okay," she responded, but he could hear suspicion in her tone.

Edward sighed. "If you could have a wedding. A real wedding. With planning and time and the whole nine yards, who would be your bridesmaids?"

There was a pause. "Why do you want to know?"

Edward shrugged. "Humor me, my love."

"Well," she said, and he could tell she was thinking, "Alice, obviously. Jessica. Angela. And… Rosie." She sounded sad, and it took everything in him not to turn around to give her a hug, to comfort her.

"You really want her here, don't you?" he asked. "And not just her, but Em, and Henry, and Esme, and Carlisle. You'd want them here. They're your family."

There was another pause, longer this time. "Isn't the whole point of this that you'll be my family now?" she asked, her voice soft.

"Bella Swan," he said, his voice stern, "I am absolutely going to be your family. Your husband, in fact, and today, considering the trouble I went through to get this" – he held up a small velvet box – "and this" – he held up a piece of paper, their Nevada marriage license, to be signed at the chapel, "but I don't want you to think that means you have to give up your other family."

Bella sighed. "But we agreed that it was better if they weren't here for this," she said, and the sadness was back.

"I lied," Edward said, "I have one more question." He tucked the box and the paper into his pockets, keeping his hands there. "What's more important: the wedding or the marriage?"

"The marriage," she said, with no hesitation. God, did he love her.

He grinned at the wall. "So, let's just do the one. I can cancel all that crap, we can get married, start our lives, and then plan a wedding. They can be there, all of them, and we still get what we wanted, which is to be together, no restrictions, no doubts, just you and me, forever." His hands made their way out of his pockets of their own accord. "I know, I dragged you out here, hell, I dragged our friends out here, and our parents, and we were supposed to have better than a Vegas wedding, but, Bella," he sighed, "I know you want your whole family there."

The pause was the longest yet. He stood absolutely still, as if any movement on his part would cause the entire thing to fall apart and she'd bolt, realizing that the entire thing had been a terrible idea in the first place. Really, who got married after having sex one time?! Hell, who married someone they'd never dated?! Edward knew it didn't matter, that he loved her, that he'd rather literally die than be away from her, but Bella was far more rational than he was, and smarter to boot. What if this was too much?

He felt a weight settle on his shoulders and her arms appeared in his vision. She'd jumped onto his back, embracing him tightly. He stumbled, but only for a second, before he took hold of her arms, hugging her back awkwardly. Edward felt like the little spoon, but standing up. She kissed his neck, and he could smell the strawberry scent of her shampoo as her hair fell over his shoulder.

"Whoa," he said, "I'll take that as a yes?" He gripped her arms tighter, clinging desperately.

"Yes," she whispered in his ear. "So, I've always been curious about the drive through chapel."

Edward laughed. "Sure. Who do we take?" They'd need witnesses, after all.

"Moms. Seems appropriate." She was still suspended on his back, and he desperately wanted to flip around, to really show her his appreciation for her being so accommodating. Hell, to show his appreciation for her continued insanity in agreeing to marry him, really.

"Okay," he said, as she slid down his back to the floor. "You tell them, I'm going to make some calls."

Her arms slid down to circle his waist. "Oh no," she said. "You get to tell Alice."

"Well, fuck."

Bella's laugh drifted off as she left him standing in the hallway, contemplating how to break this news to Alice.

"Babe!" he heard her say from somewhere in the vicinity of the doorway, and he resisted the urge to turn around.

"Yes?" He shoved his hands back in his pockets, trying to physically anchor himself to the spot in the hallway.

He heard her step closer. Felt her breath on the back of his neck. She must be on her tiptoes. "Thank you," she said, and he felt her forehead hit his upper back in what he could only describe as an affectionate head-butt. "Something had been bothering me, and I couldn't tell what." She pressed a kiss between his shoulder blades, which caused an utterly embarrassing shiver to travel down his spine. "They should be there if I have a wedding. But I could marry you on a random Wednesday with a drunk minister in sweats and I'd still be happy."

Well, Edward thought, officially, fuck tradition.

Then he spun around and kissed his bride so soundly he was pretty sure that later he'd have to make some cosmic deal to top it for their first kiss as husband and wife.

*

"Okay that definitely sounds like it's heading toward something disgusting that I don't want to hear," Emmett said.

Edward shrugged, and Bella let out a giggle.

"I feel like you're missing the most important part of that section," Bella said, laying her head on top of Edward's.

Emmett assessed them. "No, I'm not." He heaved a great sigh. "Look, I'm glad you decided to wait on big wedding stuff until we could be there." He took another sip of his water, his expression unreadable. "How'd Alice take it?"

Edward barked out a laugh. "I explained she could plan the wedding."

"I explained she could design the dress," Bella interjected, raising her hand like she was in school. "She was fine after that."

"It was scary before then, though," Edward said. "My life flashed before my eyes." He shuddered. "She came at me with fabric scissors. And when she found out I'd seen Bella…"

Bella burst out laughing. "She tackled him. It was horrifying."

"The Cullen siblings keep kicking my ass," Edward grumbled.

Bella kissed the top of his head and he smiled, his frustration immediately assuaged. Damn, having a wife was cool.

"So, you guys got married in a car?" Emmett was staring Edward in the eye, and he looked like he was actively trying not to smile.

Bella nodded. "Yep. Some dude leaned out of a window, us, my mom, and his mom signed the license, we said 'I do', and poof!" she gestured like a magician. "Married."

"Bet you feel pretty silly for punching me now, huh?" Edward ventured, raising the brow that didn't hurt like a bitch.

Emmett's own eyebrows raised. "No, I'm still solid on that one," he said. "I can't believe you fell in love with one of my best friends and didn't tell me, or come to me for advice, or help." He folded his arms and leaned back in his chair.

Edward's jaw dropped. "We're not allowed to fraternize with employees!"

"Yeah, Gronk, you kinda had us backed into a corner, there," Bella intoned, completely serious.

Emmett leaned forward, placing his head in his hands. "Yeah," he said. "Except, you both should've known me better than this." He sighed. "I had one slip up. One." He held up a finger, waving it emphatically. "I had one outburst at a guy I was sure had ruined the life of a kid I'd hired, who deserved better." He leaned even farther forward in his chair, letting one hand grip his hair. "But he wasn't my cousin, and she wasn't Bella. You had to know it'd be different for you."

"We really, really, didn't."

"Remember my first day?" Edward asked. "I've never seen you look so angry as you did when explaining that policy."

"I literally watched you throw Eric's severance at his head. And by severance, I mean your stapler." Bella's voice got quieter as the sentence went on and Emmett gave her a sardonic look.

Emmett just rolled his eyes. "Look, I get it." He rested his elbows on the desk. "I'm mad at myself, really. The fact that I somehow fucked this up for you guys is killing me."

"Then why'd you hit me?!"

"Because you defiled my baby Bella and ran off to Vegas and married her and you did that all without me ever hearing a damn thing about it." Emmett pointed at Edward. "You had that one coming."

Edward shrugged. "Fair."

"So, what did you tell the others?"

Bella giggled and Edward grinned.

"After the wedding," he said, "which we did in an hour before Charlie even got back with those yahoos," – cue Bella's laugh – "we decided to just hit the town."

*

Edward hadn't given Bella her ring yet. He wasn't planning to until tonight, despite the fact that they were, after a twenty minute car ride and a fifteen minute ceremony, married.

Holy shit, he had a wife.

Anyway, he had the ring, it would just become blatantly obvious for his wayward employees that something was up if she had his Grandmother Masen's diamond ring on.

That being said, he was already wondering when he could get away with giving it to her. He'd sent his mother out to get wedding bands from one of the hundred shops on the strip. She'd taken Bella's ring size (because for some inexplicable reason she already knew Edward's), Bella's mother, and Edward's father's credit card, and the two women set off for a "shopping spree." Edward had to remind them twice that they had to get the rings, and he still wasn't sure they'd manage to come back with them. Before they'd left, Elizabeth had confirmed that Grandma Masen's ring would already fit Bella, which was a happy coincidence he was trying not to attribute to fate. He was failing miserably, and it was making him incredibly sappy.

He'd have to wait for the mothers to return then, and God knew he'd be out half the night entertaining their friends and making sure Jake stayed quiet. Edward and Bella had decided that enough people knew about the marriage already, and they could tell everyone else when they returned home.

Speaking of the marriage, Edward had also been enjoying taking full advantage of his new role as husband (three times) since he'd first seen Bella in her "wedding" dress. Alice had done an amazing job on it, creating a full skirt out of tulle with shimmering lace on top stretching up the bodice to her sweetheart neckline, with dainty little off-shoulder sleeves that reminded Edward of her Persephone dress. She was radiant.

"Alice will make something better for the real wedding, she already said so," Bella had said.

"You look perfect," he had replied.

It was perfect. It was the perfect wrapping on his Christmas gift, which he'd gleefully removed about twelve seconds after they'd made it back to the hotel room.

Alice had shown up an hour later, banging on their door. Bella had ignored Edward's groan of protest, kissed his nose, and put her robe on before striding out of the bedroom to answer. Alice wasn't bothering to stay quiet, and Bella hadn't closed the door to the bedroom, so he heard them very clearly.

"Dress," Alice demanded, "now."

"Great to see you too, Ali," Bella said, giggling through the words.

Alice heaved a deep sigh. "Bella, I am very kindly not commenting on the robe or the sex hair, so if you could kindly give me your dress and my sewing supplies?"

"Why?" Bella asked, but he could hear her voice heading toward the other end of the room, where he knew for a fact the dress was laying across the couch, thoroughly rumpled.

"I'm going to shorten and de-fluff the skirt so you can wear it out tonight, duh."

There was a pause where he could practically hear them hugging.

"Yes, yes, you're very welcome," Alice said, "now gimme."

Bella had given Alice what she wanted, and then come back to bed to do whatever she wanted to Edward.

Not that he minded in the slightest.

Charlie had returned with their compatriots, who were settling into their own room before they met up. The current plan was to meet up at the Canal Shoppes to wait for sundown. Then it was party time.

"Hey, hon?"

Edward wandered into the bathroom when Bella called, needing help with her necklace. Since they were planning to change for the night later, she was in high-waist shorts and a plain t-shirt, looking far better than she had any right to. Her hair was up in a bun at the top of her head that looked effortless, but that he knew had required quite a bit of attention. He'd watched her achieve it several times. He couldn't tell if he was upset at the loss of her hair or excited about the ready availability of her neck.

She handed him the necklace and turned around. And because her neck was right there, and she was his wife, and he loved her, excitement won out and he leaned down to kiss the place her shoulder met her neck before he did anything else.

Thirty minutes, fixed hair, makeup over some of the places Edward had been a little too enthusiastic, and a necklace finally affixed later, they maneuvered their way into the shopping center, scanning for their friends. Of course, the hooligans found them first.

"Bella!"

His wife's (his wife's) head spun, trying to locate the source of the sound, and Jessica slammed right into her, crushing her in a hug.

"Have I told you how much I love that you're friendly with the boss? Because goddamn I love that you're friendly with the boss." She gestured around. "I mean, hello?! Vegas, baby!" She let go of Bella and gave Edward a quick glance. "Hey, Edward."

"Hello, Jess," he said, but she was already dragging Bella back off to wherever she had appeared.

Edward sighed, but followed dutifully.

They arrived at a table along the canal where all of their friends were seated, apparently playing Never Have I Ever, again.

"Don't you all know everyone's dirty secrets by now?" Edward slid into a seat next to Ben, across from Jake. Jasper and Alice were next to Jake, sharing a chair. Ironically, Jessica had similarly pulled Bella down onto her lap and they were eagerly discussing whether or not to get a gondola ride.

"Not all of them, Boss," Jake said, shooting Edward a shit-eating grin and raising his brows. Edward glared. "Beside that, we were just passing time." He slapped Jasper's knee, and the Southern gentleman disengaged from eating Edward's cousin's face long enough for them both to catch his next statement. "Let's go!"

They all set off, the girls darting in and out of shops, reappearing with bags. They almost lost Bella in the one bookstore along the canal, where she disappeared for a frightening twenty minutes. Alice and Jessica were so laden down with bags that they'd foisted them onto Jake and Jasper, who looked only moderately miserable in return. Edward himself was happily carrying the various tchotchkes, books, and clothes that Bella had purchased, having offered to do so from the outset.

He sidled up to Ben as the wandered. "Where's Maggie?" he asked.

Ben smiled at the mention of his daughter, and Edward had a supremely soft moment where his heart warmed. "She's staying with Mrs. Clearwater."

"That was nice of her," Edward commented.

Ben scoffed. "Please. She'd keep her forever if we didn't insist on taking her back."

Edward laughed with Ben, grateful for his company. "So," he ventured, almost timidly, "you and I should be the adults tonight, right?"

Ben just rolled his eyes. "Ange almost never gets to cut loose. This one's on me. Anything in particular I should look for?"

Edward rubbed the back of his neck. "Uhhh…" How to put this delicately? "Jacob and Alice might spout some nonsense after consumption of multiple alcoholic drinks."

Ben gave Edward a sidelong glance. "That nonsense wouldn't have anything to do with the reason you and Bella were already in Las Vegas, would it?"

Edward's tongue pressed into his cheek as he surveyed Ben. "Shut up," he said.

Ben just laughed as they all continued shopping, stopping for gelato, and making wishes in the fountains.

Jacob insisted on leading the charge as the sun set, wandering down the strip and avoiding men handing out pamphlets for nudie shows, drunk people prone to puke or stumble, and what had to be several literal, actual showgirls. He walked along intently, a man on a mission, until he stopped suddenly, causing Jessica to run smack into his back. Their bags had been stowed away in rooms, and they were all dressed to kill. (And Edward had been able to retrieve the package he'd been waiting for, with an excess of gratitude and love to the moms.)

Alice had texted Edward to wear the Oxfords she'd packed him when they'd changed, and he didn't know why until Bella stepped out in her modified dress, completed by the same Oxfords she'd worn to the Christmas party.

"We match again," he'd said.

Bella laughed, and Edward had to catch his breath. Jesus Christ, Alice had done a good job on that dress. The skirt hit mid-thigh and the gauzy, shimmering lace somehow clung to her backside while managing to be looser on the legs, the way he knew Bella liked dresses to fit.

"Let's celebrate," she'd said.

Unfortunately, Jake had not gotten the memo that they were all ridiculously overdressed for his current fixation.

"Circus, Circus?" Alice asked from her perch on Jasper's back. (Funnily enough, six-inch heels hurt after walking all day, who knew? Certainly not Ali.)

Jake beamed at them all. "It's great, right? There's a fucking roller-coaster in there!"

"Jake," Jessica said, "I let my tits out, I'm planning on clubs."

Bella, who had been staring up at the domed building, suddenly spoke up. "I like it. It'll be like Dapper Day at Disneyland."

Angela took Bella's arm and nodded. "I never get to ride roller-coasters. I have a baby." She used her grip on Bella to start dragging her to the entrance.

Jessica huffed, then followed, calling back "You're buying me so much liquor," to Jake.

"Giddy-up, Cowboy," Alice said, kicking Jasper in his rib.

He doubled over. "Jesus, fuck, Ali-Cat – "

"Less talkie, more walkie."

Jasper stalked off, muttering under his breath and purposefully jostling Alice around on his back. Edward turned to Jake and Ben.

"Let's get those losers drunk," Edward said, "and then onto something that applies g-forces to them."

The inside of the casino was chaos. Drunk adults and screaming children were everywhere, playing games and sitting at bars. Jasper had not put Alice down, and she was yelling at him to drop her while he resolutely did not listen. Jessica, Angela, and Bella had all managed to find a bar, at which the bartender paid them entirely too much attention, what with them being the only patrons not in t-shirts. Edward made his way over and handed Bella his credit card, telling her to start a tab and tugging on a lock of her hair. What he'd wanted to do was kiss her, but they were still pretending, for now.

"Jake's too poor to fund Jessica's consumption habit," he told her, and she grinned and handed the card over to the bartender.

"It's us, those two guys," she pointed at Jake and Ben, "him," she smacked Edward's chest, "and the incredible two-headed wonder over there," she concluded, pointing to Jasper and Alice, the former of whom was running headlong across the floor, deftly maneuvering around the other patrons.

The bartender looked over, and his expression shifted to concern. "Can you make them – "

Crash. Something behind them toppled, and they studiously faced forward, refusing to acknowledge it.

"They're fine," Jess said, sitting up straighter. The bartender immediately zeroed in on her cleavage, which even Edward had noticed was ample tonight, and smiled.

"Yeah," he said, "you're probably right…"

"Jess," she supplied his silent request, giving him a huge smile. "We're going to wander, okay? Don't forget us, though, we require much from you."

His eyes widened as she got off the stool, revealing a scandalous amount of her legs. "O-okay," he stammered. Good Lord, she was good. He waved until long after he should have, and Edward could see several others sitting at the bar demanding his attention as she wandered off with the other girls and their drinks to collect Alice from Jasper.

Jake leaned over the bar and yanked the bartender's hand down. "I know, pal, I know. I also know I require two Jack and Cokes, and two ginger ales."

He got busy making the drinks, only glancing up at Jessica a couple of times.

Once the men were in possession of their drinks, they set out for debauchery.

At which point, everything went to shit.

Jessica and Jake were extremely close to assaulting the man running the ring toss booth, and she was somehow on his shoulders, reaching for a prize hanging from the top.

"Give me that!" she kept screaming.

"You didn't win it!" the man argued.

"But she wants it, dude," Jake responded.

And on and on it went.

Alice, Angela, and Bella were thoroughly trashed, which was not doing them any favors at the shooting gallery. Alice's shoes were missing, and Bella was giggling every time she shot. She was shockingly good, upsettingly good for being drunk, until he remembered her father was the chief of police. Angela had shot the roof of the booth, and promptly collapsed onto the ground in a fit of hysterical laughter. The girl running it looked consummately bored, as if this shit happened to her every day. It probably did, now that he thought about it.

Jasper was somewhere around here, but they had to be careful, because he kept jumping on Ben and Edward at random intervals, screaming "Eeeeeeeeaaaagleeeee!" Edward knew showing him Scrubs had been a bad idea.

The worst part?

They'd only been here approximately fifteen minutes, in which time most of them had managed to consume three drinks and an indeterminate amount of shots.

It also meant:

"Edward!" Bella called, holding a large stuffed dog from the shooting gallery. "Help me find the bathroom!"

"Me too!" Angela called.

"Me three!" Jessica yelled, jumping off Jake's shoulders and managing not to face-plant by the skin of her teeth.

"Okay, ladies, follow the ginger!" Bella yelled.

Edward scoffed. "I'm not ginger."

"Yes, you are."

"He really is, huh?" Jessica supplied.

"I mean," Angela said, "it's more bronze-y."

"What is bronze?" Bella asked. "Orange-y-gold." She reached up and grabbed Edward's hair. Not painfully, but with some weight behind it. "Orange-y-gold hair is ginger in my book."

"Well, shit, she got you there."

Edward shook his head and started following signs for the restroom. "I guess," he muttered.

"Hey, how come he's so nice to you after you just outed him for being a creepy ginger?" Jessica stage-whispered.

"We're married," Bella stage-whispered back.

Edward stopped short, causing Bella to crash into his back. "Ow," he heard her say.

The sound of a laugh escaping through pursed lips emerged from Jessica, and Angela's light giggle joined in. "Yeah, right," Jessica said on an exhale. "Now hurry up, I gotta pee!"

At some point, everyone decided it was time to ride the roller-coaster, and they waited patiently in line, sort-of.

"Holy shit, those two are having sex!" Angela yelled, pointing at a couple just barely hidden behind a pillar.

"Well, really, it just makes sense," Jacob was saying. "If you want a boutique it's going to be hard, but you've got the goods. Look at Bellsy's dress!"

"I know," Alice said, waving her hands. "I'm just worried about making enough clothing to fill a shop."

Jessica's camera was out and she was filming the amorous couple behind the pillar.

"Yeah, but you could always get guest designers," Bella pointed out, surprisingly clearly for a person with seven drinks in them. "You have all those old friends from school."

"Sir, that is not right!" Angela said, cringing at something behind the pillar that Edward was very pointedly ignoring.

"That's a great idea, honestly," Jasper said.

They really were having an incredibly coherent conversation for a woman without shoes, a man with a tie around his head (what a cliché), a perfect drunk woman (Edward had made sure she kept her shoes on and that her hair remained in place, because what else were husbands for?), and a man who had his hair in several braids (Jessica had been "booooooooored").

"Mister, if you could just shift to the right?" Jessica called out to the couple. "I'm trying to go viral!"

"Next?"

"Thank. God." Edward ushered them all forward as Ben gave the man their tickets. "Come on, Jess, let the nice couple get arrested on their own." They all managed to get onto the ride, and Edward sat next to Bella, excited at the prospect of being out of their friends' sight just a bit. "Hi," he told her.

"Hi," she said, entwining their fingers. "Don't let me puke."

"Not really up to me."

"Well, sh – "

And they were off, whizzing and screaming and turning and twisting all over the dome.

"Jesus H. Cock-sucking Macy!" Jessica was shrieking, and he was positive that people could hear her on the ground.

Jacob was laughing hysterically, and Jasper was, what else, repeatedly screaming "Eeeeagleee!"

"Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck, oh shit, oh fuck, oh God, oh shit, oh fuck," Bella was muttering at his side, unending. He squeezed her hand and she stopped for a second, beaming at him. Then they dropped twenty feet and she started right back up as if she'd never stopped.

Angela and Ben were suspiciously silent, and when they got off the ride, Edward found out why. The photo of their cars revealed that they had been passionately making out the entire time.

"Oh yeah," Alice said, pointing to herself on the image, "I was watching that."

"Look at this aerial shot I got of Sir-Humps-A-Lot," Jessica chimed in, showing them a blurry photo on her phone of two amorphous shapes.

"Okay, it's officially bedtime," Ben said, causing Angela to giggle. "Move out!"

Jessica and Jacob grumbled, but followed Ben out. Alice hopped back onto Jasper's back, and Edward and Bella wandered back to the bar to close his tab.

"A bar again," Bella commented as they waited for his receipt.

Edward nodded. "You know what?"

"What?" she asked, smiling up at him.

He pulled the small box out of his pocket. "This is the perfect place to do this." He opened the box, revealing Grandma Masen's ring, along with their matching bands, which his mother had made sure went well with the diamond one. "Bella Masen," he said, which made Bella giggle, "I don't know what happened in the universe that made you kiss some guy at a bar, but I do know that my life is better for it. And not just better, but, honestly, perfect. You have my heart, my soul, my name. Now I want you to have this." He slipped both rings on her finger, then quickly put on his own.

He hadn't expected the euphoria of wearing the metal band that declared to the world that he belonged to someone. It rushed over him, leaving him grinning like a doof at his own hand, before he glanced over at Bella, doing the same thing. The sight of her rings, however…

They were kissing before he'd realized he moved.

Only this time, he'd been the one to kiss the pretty girl in the bar.

*

"I did it too early," Edward told Emmett. "We had to hide them all the way back to the hotel, and then we both had to get everyone else to their rooms before we could go back to ours."

"Too eager," Emmett commented. "I can relate."

"Emmett," Bella said, her tone sarcastic, "you didn't give Rosalie her ring until three weeks after proposing."

Emmett waved her comment away with a hand. "Yeah, because I was too eager to ask and forgot to get one," he said. "Not to mention, I punched my cousin in the face and yelled at my best friend for about an hour earlier."

"We did break the rules," Bella said. "At Halloween, we kissed. And you know, after the Christmas party…" She squirmed a bit. "You get the idea."

"Yeah," Emmett said, leaning his elbows on the desk. "I'm not too happy about that, but honestly, I'm more upset that neither of you trusted us enough to tell us the truth." He sighed. "I swear to God, Mom already knows, though."

"She does," Edward said. "She basically told me to go for it."

Emmett smacked his forehead with a resounding thwack.

"Of course she did."

Bella giggled. "If it makes you feel better, your wife told me to look all I wanted, but not touch, because you'd kill us."

Emmett's hand was still over his face. "It does not."

"We really are sorry," Bella said. Edward poked her in the side. "Well, I'm sorry. I know you. I should have told you how I was feeling but… I wanted to be sure."

"And by the time we were sure," Edward said, "we were married."

"Which is fucking insane, by the way."

Bella turned to lock eyes with Edward.

They shrugged.

"We know," they said in unison.

Emmett sighed. "I'm sorry I flew off the handle… this just… sucks." He finally removed his hand from his face. "Being last to know about something that's going to make our family so happy. Feeling like you couldn't trust me. Knowing you were right not to." He took another deep breath. "I promise, I'm really happy for you guys, I'm just also mad at you both, and fucking livid with myself." He pulled two sheets of paper out of a file. "This is your workplace romance claim. Sign it, and then get out so I can continue with the flogging of my own psyche."

"I didn't know you knew the words 'flogging' or 'psyche'."

"Shut up and sign."

They did, and Emmett took them back. "I now pronounce you exempt from the fraternization clause."

Bella beamed over at Edward, who smiled back. He had a wife. He had a shiner, too, but the first was more important.

"Come on, man," he said to Emmett. "It's Christmas Eve. Let's go back to Esme and Carlisle's."

Emmett leveled him with a stare.

"Don't ruin Christmas any more than we did, please," Bella pleaded.

Emmett rolled his eyes. "Fine."

He strode out of the office, leaving Bella and Edward to follow.

"Ready, Mrs. Masen?" he asked her.

She got up on her tiptoes, a sign he'd quickly acclimated to, and he put an arm around her waist. Her lips met his, soft, sweet, loving. She sighed when she pulled away. "Now I am, Mt. Masen," she said, grinning as he reached over and tugged on a lock of her hair.

*

A/N: Oh, hey it's time to review! Thanks far waiting guys. Love you!