Early in the morning, in a London hospital a young 11 year old redhead boy groggily opened his eyes, not quite understanding just where he was. Staring blankly at the unfamiliar ceiling tiles, he struggled against to remember his last moment of consciousness. His thoughts were incredibly slow, outside of normal.

'It's almost like I've been drugged.' He thought idly, starting to turn his head to look around, he noticed suddenly that his jaws had been wired shut. 'Huh, I guess it was drugs, if they wired my jaw shut, some accident must have sent me to the hospital. Accident? Yeah, there was an accident, I remember a truck swerving across that icy road and headed right for me. But, why is only my jaw injured? It's a miracle I did survive, but I should be in full traction, after that.'

Looking around for a call button, so he could get some answers he was startled when the room door banged open violently and a large redheaded woman came running in, crying in a loud voice, "Oh, Ronnie, what happened to you! What did these muggles do to you?! Why would they torture you like this? What do they think you'll bite them like some werewolf?"

'Wtf? Muggles? Werewolves? Does this woman think she's in Hogwarts? Wait! Large redhead woman, calls me Ronnie.' He looks at his small 11 year old hands. 'Okay, I'm definitely not 28 anymore. And if I'm this small, named Ron, she talks about muggles, could this be…'

Sure enough she pulls out a wand and changes his clothes from hospital gown to black robes. "Now get up, we need to get you to St. Mungo's for a checkup and to get rid of that contraption before we get you to Hogwarts. You've already missed the sorting." Suddenly her face turns angry, "How dare that little brat do that to us, after all we've done for him! I'll teach him a lesson next time I see him. Get up now."

He decided to stow his confusion for the time being and play along. After all if he really is in the body of Ron Weasley that means he died when that truck hit him, and most likely whatever happened to Ron killed him, otherwise how could he occupy his body? That being the case, he's stuck in this world as Ron which means he gets to live the dream of every nerd back home, going to Hogwarts and learning magic.

Getting a bit excited over the prospect of learning magic, he got out of bed. 'Well, I'm short again' he noticed and gave Mrs. Weasley a 'now what?' look since he can't talk with his jaw wired shut.

Correctly interpreting his glance she reaches out to hold onto his shoulder. "I'll side along you to St. Mungo's then we'll floo to Hogwarts. The aurors already escorted everyone else to St. Mungo's."

What followed then was the singularly worst thing he'd ever felt. However with nothing in his stomach he resembled a cat trying to cough up a hairball. 'Uggh, in the books Harry described it as being forced through a small rubber tube, but that punk didn't mentioned that it felt like a great pressure differential between your front side and back side is responsible for that. No wonder it causes disorientation and vomiting.'

Standing up straight he started to look around the reception and emergency waiting room. It looked similar to the description in the books, rickety wooden chairs, and people who look like the last thing they said before whatever their accident was "Here, hold my beer and watch this!"

After straightening up, he and Mrs. Weasley were noticed by the gaggle of redheads in the corner. With cries of 'mum!' and 'Ronnikins!' they descended on the two, firing off so many questions (Ginny and Percy) and jokes at Ron's expense (Fred and George) that it was difficult to keep it all straight.

Percy: "It's obvious that I need to get to Hogwarts immediately to take up my very important prefect duties. When can we leave? And what will be done with that Potter boy that caused all this? It's reprehensible that such a public figure would act in such a way."

Ginny: "Mom, why was Harry Potter angry like that? Is Ron okay? Why is that metal on his face? Can I visit Hogwarts when you go there with the boys? Can I?"

Twins: "Well, looky here George, our brother is sporting the finest muggle wear of the season, it's very becoming!" "Indeed Fred, he's got the look down spot on. Makes his smile shine that it does!" "I'll say, maybe this is a look we can investigate into bringing to the school, after all, so many people need cheering up!"

"Quiet!" Bellowed Mrs. Weasley. "I'm taking Ronnie upstairs to get him healed, and then, yes, Ginerva we'll all go to Hogwarts shortly. Now find a seat and I swear, you better behave or else." Glaring at the twins, Mrs. Weasley dragged him over to the stairs and led him up to the first floor. 'Gotta remember that. Ground floor then first floor on this side of the pond.' Moving over to the closest available green clad healer, he was shoved forward a little forcefully by Mrs. Weasley.

"Healer, look what those muggles did to my Ronnie in their barbaric hospital. They made us miss the first day of school for my babies. I need you to undo whatever they did to him, so we can get him to school."

The person in Ron's body glanced at Mrs. Weasley, thinking how forceful and rude she comes across. 'If she's like this it's no wonder Mr. Weasley doesn't wear the pants in their relationship. Or is it because he's been so wishy washy that she's become like this? Hmm, the world may never know.'

The healer mildly looked at Mrs. Weasley for a moment, before turning his gaze to Ron. "I'm Healer Pye, pleasure to make your acquaintance, um Ronnie. Unfortunately the muggles of course don't have magic to heal things like broken bones or in this particular case it appears to be your jaw. So they end up doing things the slow way. In this case immobilizing the bones to allow them to heal, knitting together so to speak. One moment while I run some diagnostic spells, Mrs..?"

"It's Weasley, of course. Well, whatever the reason, it's barbaric. Just hurry up and heal him so we can get to Hogwarts." Mrs. Weasley rebutted sharply.

Sighing and nodding in acknowledgement Healer Pye had Ron sit at the nearest bed, pulled out his wand, and started casting his diagnostic spells. After a few minutes Healer Pye nodded to himself, turned to Mrs. Weasley and started his explanation. "Luckily it's just a simple break. I'll just cast some simple charms that will knit the bones together and then we'll get rid of the metal locking his jaws together. Just remember to be careful not to get knocked in the jaw for the next two days while the knit is still tender to prevent a re-break."

Healer Pye wasted no time in casting the spells. Once free of the metal lockjaw, the one in Ron's body started opening and closing his mouth, and moving it all around. Feeling no pain he gave Healer Pye and Mrs. Weasley a thumbs up and a quietly mumbled "m'good". He didn't really want to start talking now, because then they'd be all worried about why he suddenly developed an American accent, and instead of headed for Hogwarts, he'd be stuck getting tests. And who knows if there's some Department of Mysteries test that can see he's not the soul of Ron Weasley. Better wait a while and then he can claim someone jinxed him at Hogwarts. Much safer.

Thankfully it went to plan and both adults turned away from him. Healer Pye quickly made out a bill for services rendered. Handing it to Mrs. Weasley he stated, "Here's the bill. You can either pay today on the way out with the cashier, or bring that to Gringotts. They'll make the transfer to St. Mungo's. Thanks and have a safe accident free time." Sending them on their way.

Rejoining the rest of the Weasleys waiting below, they eventually and rambunctiously managed to floo to Hogsmeade and made their way to the Hogwarts gate, where they found Hagrid waiting for them. Apparently Mrs. Weasley had let them know to expect them. Dropping their trunks just inside the entrance they made their way to the great hall.

Since this is a dream come true for many people in his world, the guy who got plopped into Ron's body was rubbernecking like a tourist. When they got to the great hall he noticed breakfast was still going on. Ignoring all the people for the moment, he immediately looked up at the ceiling. Magnificent. The candles weren't evident during the day, apparently. If you looked closely you could see the individual stones outlines, but it was like looking straight up at the sky.

Out of nowhere he heard an enraged harpy shriek, startling the bejeebus out of him. Especially because it came from Mrs. Weasley who was charging at some boy and girl sitting at their breakfast. Just as she came close the girl pulled out her wand, casting a 'Petrificus Totalus'. Mrs. Weasley stiffened like a board and crashed into the table, face planting the porridge.

Out of the corner of his eye he notices Percy with a snarl on his face digging in his robes for something as he started stepping towards the couple that Mrs. Weasley attacked. He half drew his wand before another PT came his way. He unfortunately crashed face first into the floor, likely breaking his nose.

At the same time he noticed that like magic the boy's wand was in his hand and two PTs were sent to the twins who had also been pulling their wands. They weren't moving forward so when they were hit they first straightened up and then like logs fell, one on his side, one on his back. 'Message received' he thought while carefully keeping his open hands in sight 'pull your wand and get chopped'.

After looking at those on the ground he looked up at the boy and girl, who both had wands covering him. But it was the look in their eyes that made him gulp. The girl was glaring with rage and hate. The boy was icily contemplating, as if pondering where to bury the body. Taking a hold of Ginny's arm, he slowly stepped them a few steps back, to show they weren't going to continue the conflict when suddenly he came to a realization. And swallowed even harder.

The boy had messy black hair, green eyes, and glasses. The girl had wild brown hair, brown eyes, and big front teeth. These were Harry Potter and Hermoine Granger. And they obviously hated him. On the first day of school. This was most definitely not canon. He was in some fanfic. Crap.