Title: birthdays
A/N: for the FESibs zine! I absolutely love writing about Lissa, Chrom, and Em and I should really do more of it. For those that bought the zine, I've added an extra piece about Em in this version, which I couldn't fit into the zine.
Summary: Three different gifts for three different times—Lissa, Chrom, and Em through the war.
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Lissa wasn't sulking.
War required sacrifice, she knew. Sacrifice which sometimes included food, forcing them to resort to bear meat. Or boar meat. Or whatever-Frederick-managed-to-hunt meat. Despite any misgivings she had about it, she held her nose daily and swallowed what could only be described as month-old shoe. She even raised only a minimal fuss about it too.
So when Emmeryn apologized, explaining that they didn't have the rations to make a birthday cake, Lissa understood. It was war, after all. If she happened to leave the castle, climb up a hill, and plop on the ground, it was an unrelated thing. It was quiet here and it had nothing to do with sulking.
At all.
"There you are." Chrom's voice startled her and she lifted her head. Sparing him a glance as he trudged up the hill, she buried her face in her knees once more. "Are you still sulking?"
"I'm not!" Her voice was a little louder than she intended, a little harsher, and maybe she was sulking. Just a little.
But only a little because Lissa knew better.
"Lissa…" Chrom sat next to her. Bumping his shoulder against hers, just like he used to when they were children listening to one of Em's long lectures, he sighed. "I'm sorry but you know we can't—"
"I know." Lissa cut her brother off, raising her head slightly. Despite how she acted, she wasn't a complete child. "I know just…I'm a little sad, ok?"
"Yeah…I think you liked cake more than the gifts." Chrom laughed weakly. He wrapped his arm around her, giving her a loose hug. "I'm sorry."
It was unfair, entirely unfair. She couldn't stay mad when he acted like that. Resting her cheek on his chest, she mumbled, "It's not your fault."
His grip tightened. "I'm still sorry." They sat there for a moment, quiet, before he let go. "I know this isn't quite what you wanted, but we got you something."
She peeked up at him. "What?"
"A gift. It was hard to find something good, considering how strapped we are." Chrom reached into his pocket, fumbling in there before pulling out a small yellow pouch. "Em got you some orange ribbons and I managed to convince Gaius to part with a little candy. It's not quite a cake or a big present, but—"
Lissa tackled him to the ground before he could say another word. She had the best big brother and sister.
-x-
"Chrom?" Tentatively, Lissa entered the throne room, hiding a bag behind her. There were few candles lit; most of the attending nobles and guards had left to prepare for her brother's birthday feast. Squinting, Lissa spotted Chrom standing next to the throne. Sensing something wasn't right, she slowly approached him. "What are you doing?"
"Hmm?" At the sound of her footsteps, he glanced at her. There was a pensive look on his face, the same look he had when he had been crowned just a few weeks ago. "Lissa?"
"You asleep?" Even to her own ears, her joke fell flat. Dropping her smile, Lissa stood next to her brother and set the bag on the floor. With most of the candles out, the room felt bigger, emptier. "What are you doing?"
"I…" Chrom laid his hand on the throne, gripping it tightly "Em should have been here."
"…yeah." Downcast, she stared at the empty seat. Emmeryn was dead. For a while, Lissa had hoped she was trapped in a nightmare, that none of this was real and she'd wake up to Em's gentle smile. Yet the war grew worse and Chrom was king and no matter how much she pinched herself, reality stayed the same.
"I…I'm not ready to be king." Her brother's confession came out a whisper, soft and delicate like a seashell.
Lissa couldn't say anything, not even that he was wrong. Her hand reached to her hair, to the orange ribbons she used on a daily basis now. Her gift was the last thing she had of Emmeryn and even that was getting harder and harder to remember.
Chrom's voice was barely audible now. "I couldn't save her…"
"We couldn't save her." Lissa wiped the tears from her eyes; this was no time to cry. Not when her brother needed her, not when he sounded like a child, lost and afraid. Emmeryn would never have wanted that. "It's not your fault." When he didn't respond, she grabbed his arm. "It's not," she repeated, firmly.
He didn't look convinced but he stopped frowning. "Lissa…"
"Besides, it's your birthday! We can finally have cake and celebrate!" Lissa let go and reached down into her bag. Pulling out a large blue cloth, she presented it to Chrom. "Here's your present."
"What…" Chrom trailed off as he unfurled the cape. "When did you make this?"
"…Em and I worked on it together…" Lissa blinked furiously, refusing to cry. Shakily, she pointed to the edge of the cape. A quick look and it was apparent two different hands had made this—in some places, the seam was barely visible, in others all that could be seen were mismatching stitches. Em had promised to help after and—Lissa had to stop thinking about that. "You looked like you needed a new cape."
"You…" Chrom gripped the cloth tightly, closing his eyes for a moment. Then, with a shaky smile, he donned the cape. "What do you think?"
It was crooked and Lissa snorted. There was something very Chrom-like about this, something that screamed of home and normalcy. Em would have laughed, she was sure. And if she wasn't around anymore, then it fell to Lissa.
"You didn't put it on right!" Lissa scoffed, reaching up to tighten his clasp. "Here, I'll fix it."
-x-
Emmeryn was alive. Lissa repeated herself over and over. Em was alive. No matter how many times she said, thought it, it didn't feel entirely real.
But Em was sitting next to her, breathing and smiling and fully, 100% alive.
"It's nice out." Lissa beamed at her sister, resisting the urge to throw her arms around her. Even if Em was alive, she wasn't back. Not entirely, at least.
"Yes…it…is." Em's words were slurred, her mouth having difficulty pronouncing what was clear in her mind.
"This is the best view of the city." Chrom gestured at the view in front of them. Coincidentally, the hill she had sulked one less than a year ago happened to be the best picnic spot. She was glad that was one detail Chrom left out.
"...I see…" Her sister nodded slowly as she scanned the surroundings. "It is…beautiful…"
"And at peace and all because of you." Chrom held Em's hand tenderly, his expression soft. He smiled more these days and Lissa wasn't sure if it was because they war was over or because Em was alive. It was probably both.
She was sure her face looked exactly the same.
Perplexed, Emmeryn squeezed his hand. "…ok…"
"We…I would not be here right now if it weren't for what you did. Thank you."
It was too much, all too much. Lissa could feel her eyes sting, her throat burn, and today was a happy day. She wasn't going to cry again. Quickly, she shooed Chrom away. "Get the picnic basket!"
There was a knowing look in his eyes and he ruffled her hair. "You ok?"
"I'm hungry." Lissa batted him away and he dodged, laughing.
"Fine, fine, I'll go." Rolling his eyes, he obeyed.
"He's not allowed to tease me." Lissa complained, resting her head on her sister's shoulders. When she was younger, they'd come out on nice summer afternoons. Chrom would practice his swordsmanship in the one place it didn't matter if he broke something while she napped on Em's lap. Her sister would stroke her hair softly, just like she was doing now.
Lissa's eyes snapped open. She wasn't imagining it, her sister was stroking her head.
"The ribbons…look…good…on you…" Em gave a gentle smile, her hand still softly brushing Lissa's hair. Was it a coincidence? Lissa was wearing her birthday present, those orange ribbons Em had picked out herself and did she recognize it?
Her mind was in tatters, a jigsaw puzzle with most of the pieces missing, but maybe it was starting to slowly stitch back together. The smile Em gave was ambiguous, the clarity in her eyes possibly a trick of the light, but Lissa wanted to believe.
Her sister could back. Her sister was coming back.
"Alright!" Having returned, Chrom set down a cake in front of them. "Fredrick helped make this, so we didn't burn anything down this time."
Lissa wiped the tears from her eyes before her brother could say anything. "Happy birthday, Em."
Really though, it felt like she was the one getting the gift.