seventeen: family

Katara hadn't realized that being a politician would involve quite so much sitting. She, Iroh, Aang and Zuko had finally gathered at the end of a grotesquely long day for them all, having bounced around between a broad assortment of meetings since the early light. By the time they could finally convene, Katara was sure her butt and feet were already asleep once she hit the chair.

Though her body was bone tired, her mind was anything but. Her heart raced as Aang floated in through the door, and quite suddenly stopped still as she watched Zuko trail closely behind him. She couldn't bring herself to meet the eyes of either man, and was grateful that Iroh was quick to follow, offering the General a small smile.

The four of them spoke behind closed doors for what felt like hours. Katara watched a flood of emotions pour across Aang's and Iroh's faces as Zuko relayed to them what he had shared first with her: that his mother was in the spirit world. Iroh grew gravely silent, his visage perturbed and grim. Aang was wholly elated, and flew out of his chair to embrace his friend. Katara pursed her lips and noted quietly that she couldn't remember the last time she'd seen him so animated. And she didn't know exactly how she felt about that.

"Your mom's alive! That's great news, Zuko!" Aang nearly shouted. His face was glowing, and for a brief moment Katara wondered if his arrow would, too.

"Yeah, it is," he said gruffly, trying to discreetly shrug himself out of Aang's grip without being too offending. His long hair was down, loose, and he paused for a moment to push his locks away from his face, collecting his thoughts. "But you're the only one who knows how to get there. And I don't know anything about the spirit world."

"That's why I wrote to you," Katara piped up, trying to ignore the hot embers of Zuko's eyes on her. It had been a long day for all of them, and she figured she would do them all a favor by cutting right to the point. "Can you teach Zuko how to get there?"

The Avatar stopped for a minute, considering her question. He scratched at his chin, which appeared freshly shaven. "I can't really even explain how I get there,dll" he admitted, shrugging. "I don't think it's something I could teach." Another pause as his eyes skated over the bare walls of the meeting room, pacing, and pondering. "I could go in myself to look for her, but I can't say I would even know where to start. It's not like I have a map or anything. And you probably don't know where she is," he said, turning to face the Fire Lord.

Zuko's eyes shifted down towards his hands, clasped in front of him on the gold-trimmed wooden table. "No," he answered sullenly. "I don't have any other clues." He seemed to debate his next words, casting his focus towards his uncle with some tangible trace of trepidation. "Uncle," he said quietly. "You knew my mother. You've been to the spirit world. I would be grateful for any insight you have."

Iroh's expression revealed no surprise; Katara suspected this was not the first time that the thought of his sister in law disappearing into another realm had occurred to him. "This is only a guess," he began, his eyes somber and his mouth set tightly, "but I could imagine that your mother escaped with Avatar Roku's help." The general turned his head towards Aang, who was reluctantly returning to his seat. "I do not know where we might find her, but I might ask your past self for his guidance."

Katara's brows furrowed, confused. "Is that even possible? Can an Avatar spirit manifest separately from the current Avatar's body?"

Aang, who looked noticeably paler, gave his best nonchalant shrug. "Probably, especially if it was while I was trapped in the ice with Appa. The first time I met Roku, he said he waited a long time for me. He was probably bored for a hundred years, or had other things to do than wait around for a waterbender to bust me out of a glacier." Katara could tell he was chewing the inside of his lip - a nervous tic. "I don't know if asking him is the best idea, though - besides, why would he even have anything to do with this?"

A quick, frustrated sigh pushed heavily past Zuko's lips. "Roku was my mother's grandfather."

A pair of hazel eyes suddenly grew to three times their size. Aang was immediately out of his chair again, and an air scooter had formed below him almost faster than Katara could blink. "I was your great grandad? Why didn't you tell me?" The airbender was spinning around the room, vibrating with excitement.

"This is why," Zuko muttered, two fingers pressed to his temple.

"This is great! We should have a family reunion! We should have a big dinner to celebrate! Oh man, I'm gonna start calling you sport, or junior, Roku jr? RJ?" He hopped off his air scooter in an instant, nearly barreling into the back wall as he tripped just slightly. Aang stopped suddenly, and Katara saw him slow emotionally to a halt. "I've never had a family before. I mean, I never thought about it, but I had Gyatso and that was pretty much it. I've had a lot of friends, and I have you guys, but never anybody related by blood."

The waterbender bit her lip, and she shot Zuko a glance, warning him silently not to say anything. It maybe didn't really count if it was his past life, but Aang was clearly having a moment, and he deserved space to have it in peace. And besides, who was to say whether it really mattered?

The Fire Lord gritted his teeth for a moment, and Katara wondered what had him so worked up. "Aang, I would love to talk with you about this more, but right now we really need your help," he said as calmly as he could manage. "Your... granddaughter needs your help. Can I speak with Roku?"

Aang shrank at that. "Yeah... uh. About that."

Katara quirked an eyebrow at him. "What?"

The Avatar shook his head. "I, uh, well. We're not really talking."

The waterbender stared at him, hard, unable to comprehend. "You. Aren't talking to Roku?" A blink. "What, did you guys have, like, a fight or something?" She almost wanted to laugh.

"Kind of."

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Zuko give an exasperated sigh and stand up, flinging his chair back against the wall and pacing towards the end of the table where his uncle sat quietly. "About what?" She couldn't imagine something big enough to drive such a large wedge between a person and another version of themselves.

"He was angry that I didn't kill Ozai, and I refused to apologize for it," Aang said simply. "I told him that fixing his mistakes was less important than sparing a life, and we haven't spoken since."

Her eyebrows flew up at that, and she stared at him, mouth agape. "So... you haven't talked to Roku in three years?" How had that not come up in the years they were together? Had they really been that out of touch?

She heard, rather than saw, a crack of flame behind her, and when she turned her head, she saw Zuko had already extinguished the manifestation of his temper in the palm of his hand. "This isn't getting us anywhere," he said angrily, and for a moment he sounded sixteen again. He pivoted, suddenly facing Aang head on with a fierce determination. "Roku," he bellowed, "I need to speak to you."

A flash of white light blinded them, stunning them into silence. Katara covered her eyes with her hand, unable to look directly at its source.

As the breeze from the force of the spiritual shift settled, the three of them looked up in unison to see an old man over six feet tall standing in Aang's place, his eyes glowing whiter than his hair and beard. His lips were settled into a deep frown, and his hands were burrowed into their opposite sleeves, arms folded squarely across his chest. A small crown in the shape of a flame crested his topknot.

"Roku," she whispered. She had never seen him in person before, but it wasn't exactly a shot in the dark.

"I am disappointed you were not taught to better respect your elders, Fire Lord Zuko," Roku said, lifting his chin slightly, the timbre of his voice deep but weary.

Katara tore her eyes away from the spectacle of the Avatar before her and turned to look over at Zuko, whose face was drained of color, but still held his ground, jaw set square and tight with resolve. Hey may not have actually expected a response, but now that he had one, he was remaining firm.

When he spoke, his voice was less rigid, a bit kinder. "Please, Avatar Roku. I need help finding my mother. Your granddaughter," he echoed, his words ever more sincere the second time around.

"I know very well what you need, young Fire Lord," Roku replied, sounding as though he were scolding a petulant child. He tilted his gaze just slightly down and away as he pondered over his next words. "I'm afraid I know nothing more than rumors. There was a human woman whose soul and body supposedly entered the spirit world a few years back - a very strange, very rare occurrence to be sure, but I do not know who she was or how she entered. If it was your mother, she never sought me out. Although it is possible she did not know of our relation. And of course, I cannot even say with certainty that I know this to be true at all."

"A lead's a lead," Zuko replied gruffly. "Do you know where that woman went? Or where she might be now?"

Roku stroked his beard, an odd reflection of Iroh. "It is possible she may be in the Fog of Lost Souls, as punishment for her betrayal of the Fire Nation crown in the human world. But I can't say I know of anyone on earth with the ability to trap another human into a spirit's prison." He paused again, lost in thought. "There are no other large concentrations of humans in the spirit world that I know of. But there is one place that is significant to the fire spirits, the Cove of Foxes. In ancient times, there were spirits who inhabited the four corners of the world that eventually became the four nations. Before humans could bend, there were bending spirits - many of the spirits who were gifted with fire were foxes. Those spirits took haven when humans took dominion over the physical world, and most of them now live together in the Cove of Foxes. I have heard that some old souls of the Fire Nation arrive there in their final death, as it feels the most familiar to them."

Zuko's eyes gleamed. "Can you take me there?"

Roku shook his head. "I know of no passage for humans into the spirit world that does not ultimately drain their physical forms. The spirits who retreated back into the spirit world after the rise of humans hold much hostility towards humans, and have shaped an air that takes a toll on the humans who dare to enter. Many spirits do not wish to invite humans in who have not detached from their physical bodies."

The Avatar's earlier words still rang in Katara's ears, and she found herself staring straight ahead, lost in her own thoughts. She had to force herself back up for air to meet Roku's still-glowing eyes. "You said final death. What does that mean?"

There was a long, painful silence, drawn out by every breath she dared breathe in. She suspected she'd touched on something Roku had not meant to share, but her gaze burned into him, almost a challenge, a demand.

"Every human is reborn after death, not only the Avatar. Some who are enlightened may choose not to pass on when they die, and thus die the final death, dwelling forever in the spirit world."

Katara's mind raced with a thousand questions, but before her mouth could even open to ask one, another strong wind tore through the room, and the blinding white light returned. It seemed Roku's time had expired, or he refused to expand any further on the knowledge he had dropped on them. The waterbender had a sinking feeling he'd shared too much already.

Aang's body drooped to the floor as his former life drained from his body, and Katara and Zuko both rushed forward to catch him. Their hands brushed as they each tried to support the Avatar's back, and Katara had to resist the urge to jerk away, flushed with nerves.

Aang's eyes fluttered as he struggled to regain consciousness, and his head rolled towards Katara, sighing softly. "What did I miss?"

Another day passed in long talks and negotiation with other dignitaries, those from both the Earth Kingdom and the Fire Nation, though the former was much more rare. She had a short, but solid, list of spices which could be siphoned from some of the further colonies every quarter and sent of in small quantities every quarter. Another ambassador was nearing a deal with her on a decent supply of wheat, though that one would almost certainly come with some sort of reciprocation, which Katara hadn't quite figured out yet.

Zuko had requested the gathering of four again this evening, and Katara found herself dragging her feet into the room. She'd not spoken to any of them, not even Iroh, since the prior night. Once Aang had recovered, there wasn't much more productivity to be found. Zuko was filled with a muted ire at the situation and had dashed off to the palace library in what were likely futile hopes that it contained any scrap of information on the Cove of Foxes. Considering the legacy of the royal family before him, Katara would be shocked if any traces of the Spirit World were left in its archives.

Over cold tea, Zuko admitted his search had been fruitless, and the group discussed various alternate strategies of finding this information. Zuko brought up the idea that he simply enter and start asking every spirit he came across, to which Iroh shook his head and Aang laughed. Not only were spirits notoriously unreliable, but if too much time was spent detached from his body, his body would wither in the outside world, as Iroh had just recently explained to Katara.

It was over an hour before Aang finally piped up with an offer to go in himself, and use his former selves as a touchstone for guidance through the Spirit World. Zuko's lips set into a hard line, and he clasped his hands before him on the table, staring at them intently.

"I need to be the one who goes in. It has to be me."

Katara shook her head. "Why on earth would it need to be you, Zuko?" she asked, frustrated now. "You're under heavily armed guard on watch for assassination attempts. The absolute last thing we should be doing is leaving your body empty and vulnerable for hours, or days, on end. I didn't want to ask, Aang," she said, turning to face him, "but I think it should be you, if you're willing to go. You're the only one who stands a chance going in for so long."

"My mother risked everything she had to protect me, including her life," Zuko cut in, his eyes boring into hers with a gravitational force that bordered on unnatural. She felt a tug at her core, and it was impossible to avoid him. "It would be a dishonor to her to send in someone else in my place to rescue her."

"It would be a dishonor to the life she fought to protect, if you carelessly throw it away," she countered, leveling his gaze. She found herself leaning towards him, almost subconsciously, and had to force herself to lean back into her chair.

"I have to agree with Master Katara, my nephew," Iroh said gently. The lines set deep into his face drew his eyebrows together as he frowned. "It is an unnecessary risk for you to take, if another is so willing to take your place and would be in far less danger to do so. Do not let your compulsion to reunite with your mother make you reckless."

Zuko slumped back into his chair, a small sigh on his lips. "It seems better than drawing the Avatar away from the world for so long," he said weakly, knowing he was beat.

Katara turned towards Aang, ignoring Zuko's last protest. "We'll need a full rotation of armed guards, and we need to be prepared to last for several days, or even a full week. The rest of us will need to carry on business as usual; it'll be too suspicious if we visit your body. In fact I think we need to announce that you've left the Fire Nation altogether, or people will wonder where you've gone."

A silence fell over them in quiet agreement, save for the fumes of Zuko's ire. A few more minutes were spent on the when, and the where, and the how, before it seemed to them that the meeting was therefore adjourned. She could tell Zuko was bursting at the seams to conduct this rescue mission, and that waiting another week might kill him, but for Aang's sake they couldn't rush in unprepared.

Aang hung back as Zuko and Iroh dismissed themselves, and she felt his gaze hover over her as she tried to gather her skirts and rise as quickly as she could. Before she made the escape from her chair, though, his ever-deepening voice reached her from across the room.

"Katara?"

She blinked, biting back a sigh, and looked up. "What's up?" she asked, trying desperately to ignore the awkward tension and the way her voice cracked at the edge.

"Will you take a walk with me?"

Oh no. "Um, I mean, it's late, I really should be getting to bed."

He wouldn't budge. "I don't know when I'll get a chance to talk to you alone again," he said softly. "Please?"

Before she knew it, she found herself side by side with her ex boyfriend, the tips of his fingers whispering suspiciously close to hers, strolling through a palace courtyard under a dim sky. The night was eerily silent around them; no frogs croaking, no wind rustling, no crickets chirping, even the footsteps of the airbender beside her barely registered. It didn't take long for the beads of sweat accumulating on her skin to stick to her thin dress, and she wished desperately to bend it off of her discreetly, but the flick of her wrist would simply be too noticeable.

Instead, she opted for a distraction. One sure to be tense, awkward, painful, or some combination thereof, but a distraction nonetheless. Besides, as much as she was a firm believer in letting people down gently, it might be better for them both to simply rip off the bandage.

"What's up, Aang?" she asked as she slowed to a stop and turned towards him, her tone soft but weary. She wasn't up for a long midnight stroll, and she wasn't up for beating around the bush.

His face seemed to flush for a moment, and he looked away, scratching the back of his head. "Nothing, really," he muttered, almost embarrassed. "I just wanted to see how you were doing."

She sighed, somewhat subconsciously hugging herself. Katara turned her head away, looking down towards the ground. "I'm doing okay," she said quietly. "Still figuring things out. But I guess I'll be doing that for a while." The waterbender paused, biting her lip. She wanted to shift the conversation away from her without being too obvious. "I'm hoping to hear back from Sokka soon. I miss him. And I'm anxious to hear what they've decided about the chiefdom. A tribe without a chief is just asking for a chokehold from the North."

Gathering her courage, she lifted her chin up enough to look at him, and she saw his eyes soften. "I haven't heard anything," he told her. "What do you want to see happen?'

A brief pause. "I want Sokka to marry Suki, and I want them to have as many babies as they want without her having to sacrifice her leadership. And I want him to represent the Southern Tribe to the Earth Kingdom. I want my dad to stay on as chief." She stopped, tasing the guilt on her lips as she said the words. "But I know that's wishful thinking. Suki could change the rules if she wanted to, but I know her well enough to know she won't do that." Not unless Sokka gets my letter, and tells her, she thought quietly.

"I could talk to Hakoda," Aang offered suddenly, forcing Katara to look up at him. He looked timid, but hopeful. "As the Avatar. Offer my input on what would be best for the world. Ask him to stay on as Chief."

Katara bit the inside of her lip. "I don't think I could ask you to do that, Aang," she said softly.

The Avatar shook his head. "You didn't ask. I offered. Besides, I really do think that would be the best thing. Sokka has so much more to offer the world than holing up in an igloo for the rest of his life."

"So does my dad," she replied, feeling suddenly defensive.

"Yeah, but his whole life has been about the tribe. Sokka's fought for and with people from all over the world. And your dad isn't in love with someone from another nation, like Sokka is." He seemed hesitant for a moment, swallowing while his eyes darted away from her and back again."

Katara suddenly felt nervous, the sensation striking her like a lightning bolt. The hairs on the back of her neck stood on end as he stepped in closer, and with no warning, she found her hand in his as he clasped it tight.

"...Like I am," he continued, and her blood ran cold. "I shouldn't have let things end the way they did," he told her, eyes beaming into hers, full of terrifying hope. "I want to make it right."

She tugged her hand back, just slightly, as a reflex, but she felt as if she was a block of ice, unable to make any sort of conscious movement. "Aang, I-"

His reflex was to grasp it tighter, full of conviction. "I didn't try hard enough with you before. I know that now," he said, his tone earnest and sincere. Every muscle in her body was taut, struggling to run, but frozen in a spasm of fear. "And I know I can be better, if you'll let me. We can be a family, for real this time." He let go of her hand for a moment, a brief relief, until she saw him reach into a small pack tied around his torso that she hadn't really noticed, as it blended in with the sash that tied together his loose tunic. Wound around his fingers was a blue ribbon, and in the center of the ribbon was a medallion, carved with the symbol of the Air Nomads.

He held it out to her gingerly, letting it rest in the palm of his hand. The fabric was thick and strong, dyed a deep blue that looked painfully expensive. The medallion was a bright, shining silver, glimmering with hope in the warm red candlelight.

"Will you marry me?"

author's note: :)

so, i admit i haven't watched season three in a long time - i left off halfway through my rewatch last fall, and i don't have an easy way to finish it now (no i do not have netflix). So, i am fairly certain that the reveal about roku/ursa/zuko didn't happen to Aang in the series, but if it did, we're going to say it didn't for the sake of this fic.

leave a review if you please!