Doug Visits Roger

a Doug fanfic by GlitterMew

Disclaimer: All characters owned by Jim Jinkins, Jumbo Pictures, Nickelodeon and Disney.

PROLOGUE

"Dear Journal: today started off like any other day, but there was something missing. Roger Klotz wasn't in school..."

But Doug still had to go to class. Without Roger, Mrs. Wingo's class was fairly dull. Nobody had any jokes to make about the musician Balzak, or comments on what Captain Ahab's obsession really meant, or said "why should I care?" when asked to solve for y.

"And that concludes our lesson for today. Before we go, who would like to take Roger's homework over for him?" Mrs. Wingo asked.

There was an awkward silence as no one's hands went up. Ned Cauphee shot a spitball and hit Doug in the neck. Doug raised his hand to bat it away and Mrs. Wingo seized the opportunity.

"Why, thank you Doug. How kind of you to volunteer! You just bring these papers over to Fat Jack's trailer park, and have Mrs. Klotz sign a form excusing Roger's absence."

Doug barely registered a word she said after Fat Jack's trailer park. He was going to the home of Roger, his nemesis! Who knew what that would be like!

Doug imagined Roger's trailer as a giant castle with gargoyles and a moat. The drawbridge lowered with a creak as he approached. When he knocked at the castle's keep, Roger answered. He was wearing a black cape, and had pale green skin and vampire fangs. "Vat do you want?" he hissed.

"I was j-just bringing you homework." Doug began.

"There will be no homevork, only blood!" Roger hissed.

"No, don't bite me! I'm only trying to be a good student!" Doug wailed.

"Hey Doug, honk honk! What are you so worried about?" Skeeter cut into his fantasy.

"I was just thinking how scary Roger's place is." Doug admitted.

"Hey man, it's not scarier than anywhere else. You've been there before, remember? He's not some vampire in a castle." Skeeter pointed out.

"He's not?" Doug had his doubts.

Skeeter counted on one hand. "He eats garlic bread, he's not afraid of sunlight, and I'm pretty sure holy water has no effect on him. Just be cool, man and bring him his homework. It's not like he's really gonna do it." Skeeter advised.

"If it's so easy, who don't you come with me?" Doug wheedled.

"And get my neck bitten off? No way! Honk honk!" Skeeter cheerfully waved goodbye. Doug sighed, and continued on his own to Fat Jack's trailer park. When he saw the mailbox for the Klotzes and Stinky, he knew he'd arrived. Doug took a deep breath and rang the doorbell. Mrs. Klotz answered it.

"Hi, Mrs. Klotz. I'm here to see Roger." Doug said nervously.

Edwina Klotz smiled. "Well, aren't you sweet? You're the first visitor Roger's had all day. Come in, come in." she welcomed Doug.

Doug stepped inside the trailer park. He noticed how small it was right away, but the space was clean and Mrs. Klotz had put out some throw pillows and a vase of flowers in an attempt to spruce up the place. "It looks nice here." Doug tried to be polite.

"I like to keep things tidy. Of course, Roger's room is another story but you know how boys are." Mrs. Klotz laughed. "I was just on my way to work at the beauty parlor, so I'm glad Roger has someone to help him pass the time. It's just him and Stinky sitting in the bedroom, and he could use the company. A cat's no substitute for a friend."

Doug nodded. He had Porkchop but he still liked to spend time with Skeeter, Patti, Beebe, Connie, and Chalky, so he understood.

"There's lemonade in the fridge if you boys get thirsty. Sorry there's no ice for it." Mrs, Klotz explained as she put on her jacket. "Well, I'm off! Thanks again for coming over."

"No problem." Doug replied, though he was secretly still nervous. Roger's trailer was normal, and his mom was pretty reasonable, but that didn't mean that Roger himself was very approachable. Doug wondered if bringing him some lemonade might at least keep him from being insulted, Roger couldn't make wisecracks and drink at the same time, at any rate. And all Doug had to do was drop off the homework, he could be in and out before Roger had time to fire off his worst comments.

Doug walked into the kitchen with its mis-matched curtains and table with a wobbly leg. He stared for a moment at the photos pinned on the fridge: Roger and Mr. Dink at the Bluffington Bumper Sticker race, Roger in his bluff scout uniform, Roger as the Rat King at the ballet, Roger and Stinky wearing Beets t-shirts and making funny faces at the camera, a younger Roger with Stinky as a kitten, Stinky's own litter of three kittens and their new owners, and a photo of baby Roger and Mrs. Klotz with a third figure torn out of the frame. Doug wondered briefly if that was the elusive Mr. Klotz, Roger's divorced dad who never showed up for events and judging by the state of the kitchen, probably skimped on child support checks, too.

He found the pitcher of lemonade and two chipped glasses in the cupboard. Doug decided to have his lemonade first, hoping the drink would give him the courage to face Roger, just like how Smash Adams was always more heroic after he'd had a glass to drink.

With his nerves steeled, Doug then headed for Roger's room. It was small, and with spartan furnishings. Unlike Doug's room there were no electronics, action figures, comic books, or art supplies. Instead there was a dresser (missing a doorknob and with a cracked mirror), a cat bed and some toys for Stinky, pictures of the Beets torn out of magazines rather than posters, a pair of rollerblades that had seen better days, an old baseball glove and a ball with torn seams, a full wastebasket, and a dart board with Mr. Bone's face taped to it. Roger was sitting in bed, petting Stinky, and seemed genuinely surprised when Doug walked in.

"Funnie! How'd you get in here?" Roger exclaimed.

"Your mom let me in, before she left for work." Doug replied.

"This is why we need a bouncer." Roger whispered to Stinky. She nodded in agreement.

"I got you a glass of lemonade." Doug pretended Roger hadn't said anything. "Maybe it'll help you feel better."

Roger reached for the glass and downed the drink in two long gulps. "Nah, throat's still sore." he said dismissively.

Doug tried again to make conversation. "So your Mom said I'm the first person to visit you?" Doug questioned. "What about your friends?"

"Eh, those goons won't show up. It's just a cold, but they act like it's the plague." Roger coughed. "Duhh-uh we don't wanna get sick, Roger. We're scared of your germs." Roger spoke in a raspy imitation of Willie.

Doug laughed. "That does sound like Willie." he agreed.

"But you came." Roger pointed out.

Doug shrugged. "Well, somebody had to check in on you. And bring you your homework." he explained as he set Roger's papers down.

"Pfft. Like I'm really gonna do it." Roger replied. Doug had a suspicion that Roger's math sheets and vocabulary quiz were going to end up in the garbage next to the used tissues before the day was through.

"Skeeter said you wouldn't." Doug recalled.

"So Valentine's finally using his genius brain for something." Roger noted with a sneeze. "Big whoop."
"You shouldn't mock him for being smart." Doug criticized.

Roger looked Doug square in the eye. "Funnie, did you ever think that maybe I don't mean everything I say? That I'm just clowning around because it's easier than being straight with everybody? People start havin' expectations of you and you know you can't live up to it, so why bother?" Roger told him.
"Because it's the right thing to do." Doug insisted.

"So... that's why you came." Roger looked disappointed.

"Not just that. We're... well, we're not friends exactly. But we go to school and scouts and the Honker Burger and you threw me that surprise party-" Doug began.

"I told you to forget about that!" Roger snapped.

Doug shrugged. "It's not an easy thing to forget. You act tough, but underneath it all, you're an okay guy." Doug spoke tentatively, almost as if he were voicing these thoughts for the first time.

"Don't go running your mouth to everyone but... you're okay, too." Roger muttered, petting Stinky as he talked.

"What was that?" asked Doug.

"I said, get outta my room!" Roger snarled, angry at being heard. Stinky joined in with a hiss.

"Sure, Roger. I was just leaving." Doug agreed. He turned to go.

"Hey, Funnie?" Roger looked at him gratefully. "Thanks for stopping by."

"Anytime, Rog." Doug said with a smile.

EPILOGUE

"Dear Journal. Today I learned that Roger can be nice, when he has a fever. I can't shake the feeling that maybe he doesn't want to bully all the time... maybe he'd like to be friends. I know that's a lot to hope for, but hoping is important so I'm just gonna wait and see if maybe the nice side of Roger will show up more often. Talk to you later, journal."

THE END

Author's Note: I was inspired to write this after re-watching the Nickelodeon show on Hulu. It's pretty cute and while it's obviously set in the 90's, I think it still holds up today. I just wanted some friendly Doug and Roger interaction, my favorite episodes were always the ones where they got along, even though it didn't happen too often. Anyway, thanks for reading and have a great day!