Everything was different.

His body, his hair….his arm - all different. His role was different, Atlas was different...even Keith, steadfast, focused, driven Keith was different.

And whilst his arm was nice, comforting different- Altean instead of Galra, chosen instead of forced; it still felt strange.

His hair...well that was a strong look, there were no two ways about it.

His body, he tried not to think about. It was his, more his than anything else really, but at the same time not. Occasionally he'd catch a glimpse of a new scar, and everything was crumble as he realised he wasn't the one to make that scar.

He enjoyed the Atlas, her ever learning personality, so contrasted to Voltrons ageless feel. He and the Atlas discovered together, learnt alongside each other. With Voltron, with the black lion, he'd always felt like he was desperately chasing an unobtainable goal; frantically trying to learn someone else's knowledge, lest he doom the team in combat.

The team, well they were blessedly the same. A little older, a lot more mature, with more quiet moments and shadows under their eyes...but still the same wonderfully goofy, hilarious, tight-knit group.

...except for Keith.

He remembered the panic the not-him had felt, when his oldest and dearest friend had stepped back into the castle, his mother and a wolf at his side. It was fleeting though, small scraps of memory, like viewing clips of someone else's holiday and getting dejavu when you visit yourself.

Keith was...older. taller, deeper, stronger...and my god he was beautiful.

Guilt had tinged his friendship with Keith since the rescue, since he'd woken up in that shack in the desert suddenly faced with the realisation that the kid he'd dragged to the garrison was an attractive young man. He'd forced the feelings back, choking them down in every interaction, every shared look, every touch.

Every rescue.

Because even though he felt as he did, and knew Keith didn't; they would still always find each other.

You're my brother

That memory wouldn't leave him. Brother. It was so bittersweet, killing him softly with every mental iteration. The I love you was strong, and brought him so much joy and light, and then the follow up...if a brother was all Keith could think of him as then he'd accept it, and remain in the role for as long as that incredible person would accept him. But it was difficult, so painfully difficult.

He hated how quickly the younger man's visage always came to mind every time he was alone in his bunk, pent up and frustrated. He tried, desperately to think of anyone else, anyone, but Keith's soft smile, his focused look as he trained, the impossibly tight blades suit...it was like a drug. Shiro knew he was different, after his time with the Galra. It had taken months after they'd initially become paladins for him to feel anything remotely akin to lust; and the first time he'd found himself hard he was almost at a loss. He couldn't think of Adam, it was...too weird. Too melancholy. He'd simply stroked himself loosely, too sensitive from lack of contact to take his usual, older methods. He'd wanted to cry with frustration when nothing was happening. The sensation was there, but not the build, not the tight coil within his chest. He'd given up, taken a shower and gone back to work. Rinse and repeat, after every mission, giving up every time, feeling a little more broken with every failure.

Til the showers.

They'd come off a mission, a forest planet - all filthy and tired and struggling to get their uniforms off. Pidge had their own shower, a luxury built into their rooms, but the boys shared; and the sight of Keith, naked save for a very small towel…

He'd succeeded that night. And the following, and so on. Time and time again he could think of little else, frantically groaning his best friends name with adoration as he came, hard and fast and so consumed with guilt afterwards that he almost couldn't face Keith the next day.

And it had only gotten worse. Keith had left, only to come back older, older to the point where Shiro knew he had even less need to feel wrong about it. Rationally, he'd never had to feel bad about his feelings, but he'd famously always found a way to be mad at himself.

Adam always teased him that he was too hard on himself...

"Shiro?"

He turned, realising how focused he was, how conflicted he must have looked as Keith lazily walked towards him, stretching as he yawned. Just in lounge pants, he was an absolute sight and Shiro had to force himself to look away.

"Shiro what's wrong? I've been calling for you for like 5 minutes. Finally gave up and just walked here"

"Nothing, Keith. Just in my own head"

"Don't lie to me" the younger man teased, setting himself down on the kitchen counter and clicking down the button on the kettle.

"I'm not" shiro insisted, wishing Keith didn't know him so well. What was he supposed to say- "I'm good Keith, just trying not to spend every waking moment of my day imagining you bent over my command desk"

"Don't lie to me Takashi"

He couldn't hide the blush that came up at the use of his first name. Keith...well he was the only one to use it, and only ever when they were completely alone.

"Just tired Keith, honestly" he replied, knowing it was at least half true. Between work and reports and things he just had to read right now, captain, he hadn't had a proper night sleep in so long...

Keith simply huffed, shaking his head. His hair was pulled back, loosely tied at the back of his head; small, soft baby hairs tufting out below. He stepped in, right into Shiro's space, and it took every ounce of the older man's strength and resolve to stay still; even as the object of his affections rested one bare hand against his clothed bicep.

"Go to bed then"

He was obviously displeased with Shiro's less than instant reaction, gripping the firm, oddly tense muscle and pulling him playfully towards his room.

"Earth's mighty hero, being taken to bed by the Black Paladin" Keith laughed, thoroughly shattering the last remaining brain cell Shiro had.

Brother. He was Keith's brother, just a brother. Siblings shove the other towards their bedroom lots of times. Perfectly normal.

He imagined Veronica doing it to Lance.

Pidge definitely shoved Matt towards his room, telling him to get some rest.

...nothing to think into.

He couldn't afford to think into it, after all. It would be shatteringly painful, to lose the smaller man currently shoving him playfully towards the militantly made bed.

"So... do you want to do him, or have him do you?"

Shiro turned, eyes wide towards their smallest paladin, currently leaning against the command console beside him.

"Pard-"

He didn't even get the word out before they continued.

"Because if you keep staring at his ass that way, other people are going to notice. We're not on the Castle of Lions anymore"

"Who's staring at who's ass?" Hunk asked, head popping out from the panel in the floor he'd tucked himself into to tinker with the wires.

"Shiro at Keith's" Pidge lazily replied, tapping at the screen and checking it's calibration.

"Oh, again?" he replied, and Shiro just gaped between them, frantically checking no-one else was listening before bending at the waist to better enter their space. "You really need to do something about that, dude" he continued, adjusting his headband and reaching out, fumbling for his smaller screwdriver and smiling gratefully as Shiro wordlessly handed it over.

"Is it…" he coughed, clearing his throat shyly.

"That obvious?" Hunk continued, shaking his head with a chuckle at their friends bright red face, an interesting contrast against the white hair.

"We had bets going on the castle" Pidge laughed, "Lance guessed you'd never make a move, but we had money on Coran just finding you in the showers one day"

Shiro groaned, sliding down the console into a crouch beside them. "You know" he began, head in his hands. "I've survived a lot. I've had a good run...I think it might be time to accept my own death and move on from this horrific plane"

Pidge nudged him, glancing up from their work. "Drama-queen much Shiro. You're our 'fearless leader' - go be fearless"

He stood, glancing over at where Keith was standing, even the horrific orange uniform the cadets had to wear looking incredible on him; Kosmo standing ever-alert at his side, and knew that they were right. But also, incredibly wrong. Horrifically, incredibly wrong.

"I'm sorry, but Lance will probably win that pot. He said I was like his brother. Brother"

"Some brother's kiss" Hunk shrugged, looking disgusted with himself before the words had even finished leaving his mouth. "Forget I said that. They don't. Or shouldn't, if they do...Seriously though Shiro, he doesn't look at you like any siblings I know"

"Yeah" pidge agreed. "If I look at Matt like how Keith looks at you, just feed me to a Yalex"

"Just kiss him!" Hunk argued, waving in the air. "He'd be receptive, I know it"

"Who's Shiro kissing?"

The three of them startled, looking up from their discreet discussion to find Kosmo slobbering on Shiro's shoes, and his owner looking at the three distrustfully.

"No-one!" Hunk quickly replied, tone frantic and nervous.

"You...found someone you like?" keith asked, face stoney. "That's great Shiro. Really great. You...should go for it, they'd be stupid to turn you down"

He didn't even walk away, just reached into the wolf's fur and teleported out of there.

"You should go after him" Pidge quickly said, the moment their heart rate had settled enough to talk.

"Yeah. Yeah I'm going to go do that...right now"

Unfortunately he didn't have the luxury of teleportation, having to instead desperately attempt to make his way towards the paladin quarters without being stopped by at least 20 people needing his eyes.

Back in the control room, Coran hummed, tapping his foot, face popping out of the cubby space next to Hunks. "You know Paladins, I don't appreciate being lied to so often about the showers! All those times you asked me to check for Waznims before you entered, I see now you were simply using me as a Shiro-Keith Timun testing device"

"Not gonna apologise for it Coran" Hunk replied, shaking his head. "Someone needed to check"

"Keith!" Shiro called, running into their quarters. The paladin quarters that is..not their quarters. God above he was rationalising it in his own head. He was certifiably insane. What was his psyche becoming…

There was no answer, and he stalked forwards, heart hammering in his chest as he knocked on the door opposite his. "Keith?"

His words were met with only silence, and he tried the door, swinging it open to find the room empty. As was his own, and Hunks was locked.

Surely not

He tentatively knocked on Lance's, opening it to find the lanky boy resting, book in hand, a startlingly thick facemask...bubbling?

"Have you um…"

"Just ask Shiro, ignore the face mask"

Why was it bubbling? "Have you seen Keith?"

"Why? You want to make heart eyes at him from an awkward distance?"

"How? Why is this suddenly a fair-game topic?" He whined, forehead resting in his palm as he dragged his hand down his face.

"Pidge and Hunk messaged me, filled me in"

"Anyway" Lance continued, "he's obviously not here. If he doesn't want to be found, you won't find him. Go to bed, find him in the morning"

"You're right...you're right" Shiro nodded, backing out of the room before scowling slightly and re-entering. "Lance, it's 10 in the morning, why aren't you working?"

"I'm having a me day" he replied, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world; though Shiro supposed, looking at the sinister bubbling face mask, robe and bunny slippers...it probably was.

"I'll go back to work then, I suppose" he sighed, slinking dejectedly past Keith's room and towards their office.

His office. Just because Keith often sat in that chair and chatted to him whilst he worked, wrapped up in one of Shiro's hoodies, didn't mean it was their office.

Enough, he needed to just focus on something else. Lance was right, Keith would come to him if he wanted to talk.

.

..

…

He couldn't do it.

He stood, rapidly leaving the room and near storming out of their private chamber, pulling his phone from his pocket so forcefully he nearly dropped it. It took only seconds to bring Keith's name up on the screen, and much longer to just stare at it, unsure whether to call.

He breathed, once, twice...and pressed dial, lifting it to his ear and listening to the dial tone whilst he panicked.

"Shiro, what's wrong?"

"Can we talk Keith, please?" he near begged, pausing in the centre of the corridor and startling a group of other officers.

"About what?"

"About earlier. You left so suddenly, please, there's been a misunderstanding"

"Shiro, there's no need to worry. If you've found someone...you should go for it"

"Keith where are you?"

"Shiro, honestly. I said it myself...you're my" he paused for a second, and Shiro could almost imagine he heard Keith's voice crack. He did however, hear him swallow. "You're my brother. And I want you to be happy"

His world was ending. Falling apart around his ears.

"Shiro? Are you there?"

"I...i'm here Keith. Please, I just want to talk to you"

Silence was all he heard down the line, and his heart felt like it was made of lead.

"I'm in Black, Shiro"

He took off down the corridor, heart pounding in his chest, skin slick with nervous sweat.

Keith's face when he knocked on the hangar door though…

"What do you want to talk about, Shiro?" he asked, eyes downcast.

"Just...can I come in?"

"I guess" he muttered, moving to one side.

"You misunderstood earlier, Keith" he began, reaching out to touch the other man's arm. "There isn't anyone else"

"But there is someone?"

What the hell did he say to that. His mind reeled, imagining a whole host of scenarios. Keith, kicking him out. Keith, feeling betrayed by Shiro's incredibly long term lie...Keith, passionately kissing him against the seat of the black lion...pulling off his shirt, perhaps even ripping it oven…

"Shiro?"

Did he answer?, did he lie?, did he-

A hand on his face snapped him out of his internal monologue. Keith was close, far closer than he'd expected - eyes intense and determined.

It was a look that both thrilled and terrified him; the same look his friend got when facing caverns on a hoverbike or A horde of Galra with only his bayard.

He wanted to press forwards, to crowd Keith into the corner and taste him, deeply, but couldn't; not without permission. He just couldn't. As if Keith could sense his intentions he backed up, and Shiro deflated a touch. This was his reality...him wanting to push forward and the person he loved stepping back.

But, as it turned out...Keith wasn't stepping back to get away.

He was preparing for a run up.

Shiro found himself slammed backwards against the cool metal wall, Keith so far into his space and desperately pressing his bitten, chapped lips against Shiro's.

That snapped him out of it.

He groaned, not sure entirely what was happening but knowing he'd enjoy every second whilst he could. Keith obviously wasn't practiced, teeth tapping against Shiro's, noses smushed together, breath stuttered and panting. What he lacked in experience though, he made up for in sheer, dog-eared perseverance. It was so perfectly Keith that he knew instantly he wouldn't, couldn't have it any other way.

He took control, backing Keith up towards the pilots chair. Their pilots chair. The one they'd shared, literally and metaphorically, for so long. He turned them, knees buckling as they reached the edge and he fell backwards, brain holting in its tracks as Keith all but climbed onto his lap; lips very firmly against his. His hands found Keith's slender hips, holding him so tight he fleetingly worried he'd leave marks, guiltily hoping afterwards that he did.

Keith tugged at his uniform, nearly ripping it open- hands and mouth tracing the plains of his muscles, movements rapid, as if he were worried he'd run out of time.

Panting and near delirious with arousal; Shiro eventually stood, sliding his hands under Keith's ass and lifting him from the chair, breathlessly laughing as the smaller man wrapped his legs tightly around Shiro's waist.

"Do you kiss all your brothers this way?" he gasped against Keith's lips, feeling absolutely drunk on the events of the last...how long had they been in here?

"Cocky" Keith teased, the words lost to the air as shiro tugged his ear into his mouth. He panted a little at the sensations, trying to rock against Shiro's firm body - unable to given the grip the larger man had on his ass.

"I don't think of you as a brother" he finally choked out; trying not to focus on the sheer size of Shiro, how stretched open he was being held this way.

"Why did you say you did?" Shiro asked, moving one of his hands upwards to move Keith's loose hair back away from his flushed face.

"Keith?" he asked, curious why he wasn't answering.

"I can't focus when you're holding me so easily with one arm" Keith finally squeaked out, information that Shiro very carefully filed away for later as he set the other man down on his feet, wanting Keith's answer.

"I...panicked" keith finally spoke, starting to pace, needing to move before he went insane with nerves. "I had to tell you I loved you, but didnt think you felt the same way so I...diverted…"

"Never divert. Never again" Shiro insisted. "And I love you too"