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Modern Romance

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Guess who's a giant nerd?
Email attachment: Exam results for Kurosaki Ichigo

Both of us
Email attachment: Exam Results for Kuchiki Rukia

!

Don't act so surprised
It's been two weeks and your alarms still go off at Fuck Off o'clock, so you can study
Which
What the fuck
Who functions at 3am to go over case files?

Witches
And it isn't my fault that you keep forgetting to shut them off
Like you said, it's been two weeks

Your phone is confusing

Kurosaki
Kurosaki
We have the same phone
Or did you forget how we're even talking right now?

Ichigo snorts.

Not likely. Not when Yuzu kept insisting that she'd seen this in a K-drama once, and Karin had rolled her eyes and said something along the lines of, "Tinder being an easier way to meet girls."

While he has no doubt that the app works – Keigo's a self-proclaimed expect – it's isn't like Ichigo needs the help.

Even Ishida admitted that there's something about Ichigo that (bafflingly) appeals to the female population of the student body, what with his "bad boy with a sensitive soul" reputation. Which he'd still like to contest, actually.

The "bad boy" thing, he got; he went through high school miscast as a delinquent because of his hair. And okay, he's attached to the leather jacket, so what?

But his apparently "sensitive" soul? A work of fiction.

Karin agrees. He has no soul.

Hate to break it to you, but your phone is cursed

Just because you don't know how to work phone settings does not mean it's cursed

It did that thing where it switched off and restarted for no reason
And I'm pretty sure your battery's about ten years late for a replacement
It's on constant life support as we speak
It's basically a landline, Kuchiki

You're always at home anyway, I don't see how that's a problem

I could have plans

Oh really, such as?

He scowls.

They've barely known each other a full two weeks and Rukia already has him pegged.

You're annoying as hell
You realize that until we swap our phones back, we're basically co-owners, right?
Your possessed phone is literally all I have to connect with the world

It isn't my fault you live in the middle of nowhere, Grumpy
We could've swapped phones as soon as you realized
But no

In my defense, your phone's shitty battery life has been a problem since Day 1
I woke up, and it was off and I had a train to catch
How the hell have you been manging so long with this shitty phone?

How dare you say that about Chappy?!

His amusement is cut short when the table jostled, and he startled, looking at Tatsuki sitting across from him, her brow arched in an unimpressed look. "You do know the whole point of meeting up for coffee is actually drinking coffee, right?"

"Drinking," he repeats empathetically, hiding his disgust at the lukewarm tar, but feeling Tatsuki's judgment regardless. "Sorry…"

She rolls her eyes. "If I knew you were going to be on your phone the whole time, I would've just texted you."

"Sorry," Ichigo repeats. Soulless or not, his mother didn't raise an asshole. Setting the device aside and turning his attention to his best friend, he balanced the mug of cold coffee in one hand before lifting it in a mock toast.

Tatsuki rolls her eyes again, fondly exasperated. "So, who is she?"

"Who…?"

"The person who's got you so occupied with your phone," she says. "You don't ever pay that much attention to your phone. Hell, with how long it takes for you to reply to messages, I was starting to think you didn't even know how to use it."

"It's not -"

"You brought your charger, Ichigo. You're sitting in the sunny spot because it's closer to the plug," she pointed out, eyes glinting, nose attuned to the smell of blood in the water. "I don't even think your phone's ever gone flat before."

"Now you're just being dramatic."

"Am I, am I really?" Her tone (and eyebrows) say otherwise.

Before he can even consider telling her the truth – how his phone had been swapped with a girl he hadn't even seen when he went for a late-night drink with Chad at Black Cat. How originally, they only got to talking for the sole purpose of swapping their phones back, and then relaying text messages to one another, to just – talking whenever for whatever for two weeks, he's interrupted by a cheery, "Kurosaki-kun!"

And let's just say, he's got a Pavlovian response because he cringes and feels his face tighten up.

Tatsuki is of a similar mind and is more willing to let her displeasure show.

At least with her presence, Inoue hesitates.

They had a falling out of sorts two years ago and whatever went down, must've been huge because they haven't been in the same vicinity since Inoue's transfer to Tokyo University, and whatever it was, Tatsuki wasn't willing to let it be water under the bridge, time and distance be damned.

Inoue, at least, seems to know that as she hovered uncertainly before their table.

For longer than necessary, the silence stretched until even the customers around them started to shift in discomfort.

Ichigo bit back a sigh. "Hey, Inoue."

She perks up almost immediately, turning just enough that she had her back to Tatsuki. A move that was doing a considerable number on Tatsuki's patience as her scowl darkened. "I didn't know you decided to go home for the break!"

"Uh, yeah, always do," he said, shooting Tatsuki a look which she returned albeit empty of any actual meaning except to express her annoyance. "Not much to do on campus."

"Oh, I know what you mean! I stayed for a week and there wasn't anything fun to do at all! Actually…I," she began to fiddle, pressing her pointer fingers against one another, cheeks going red. "I wanted to see you."

He cleared his throat, managing an awkward smile. "Well uh, here I am?"

Fuck.

Ichigo had successfully avoided Inoue ever since he found out about her crush on him in high school, back in a ninth-grade game of spin-the-bottle.

He'd even managed to avoid her in university, something he clearly needed to do after Urahara casually mentioned that Inoue transferred out of Karakura Tech purely to be with him which was several layers of creepy he really didn't want to get into.

Ichigo implied to her in the past (when he couldn't avoid their interactions) that he wasn't interested in her, and she hadn't paid that much attention except to smile inanely.

Karin had even declared that he was gay in a bid to get rid of Inoue when she showed up at the clinic with a "sprain", but even that hadn't deterred her.

Despite Inoue's attempts to the contrary, she had yet to openly ask him out. Hopefully, this was the Hail Mary he needed to be done with her attention by getting to actually turn her down instead of just implying it to her, but from the look on Tatsuki's face, Ichigo highly doubted it.

Inwardly, he sighs.

Great.

He still has five weeks left before he had to go back to campus, and Karakura was a small town. The chances of Inoue wearing him down were pretty high once that dam broke, and then even his dad would hear about it – and god, Ichigo really didn't need to deal with that.

Unaware of the dread Ichigo was ready to drown in, Inoue's smile only turned soft stirring the discomfort in his stomach as she nodded and took a step forward. "Right, and well, I wanted to ask you if you want to go out with m– "

The loud vibration of Rukia's phone blessedly cut her off, and even Tatsuki huffed out a breath. Passing Inoue a vaguely apologetic look, he picked up, getting Rukia's voice on full volume, "Hey babe."

Inoue's face fell, and Ichigo had never been more relieved.

This fic is also available on ao3 under the same name and penname so if you're at a loss for words, feel free to abuse the kudos button on there. This fic also has a "cover" which you can also see on ao3, or if you have tumblr, you can find it there under cheshire-cassiel if you search for ichiruki or modern romance on my tumblr.

I've become really used to ao3 so for those who don't like that format, I still feel it necessary to point out some of the tags which are: Male-Female friendship (a la Ichigo and Tatsuki), Temporary Long-Distance relationship (of which most will be spent texting and with the use of social media, hence the title of the fic), Fake/Dating because the trope makes me weak and I've always wanted to write it, and also, Inoue-bashing, because I'm that bitch.