I realized Utapri is kinda outdated nowadays but nothing stop me from writing what I want.

Enjoy~

It continues to grow. My love for you is overflowing. From the moment I was born, and continuing into the future. My certain ever love for you.

Tokiya had been seeing the same series of dream for as long as he could remember. He dreamt of himself as a vicious, cold-blooded beast with dreadful fangs and claws, which brought misfortune to people just with his existence. And he also dreamt of a mysterious young boy with glowing red orbs and flaming red hair. He was the polar opposite of Tokiya. He carried a bright and pure personality, blessing those around him with joy just by his presence.

He didn't know what the dream meant. He didn't understand what the young boy had to do with him. But for some reason, he always had a strong sense of longing and ache in his heart as he wiped away the tears flowing down his cheek after the dreams.

All Tokiya knew next was that he'd spent his life searching and chasing after what little things that remind him of the boy in his dream. His red hair, red eyes, voice, figure, and his smile. However, none of them ever seemed to lead to something. He never found anything.

Tokiya woke up one morning, gazing at the gloomy dove grey sky outside from the apartment window. Piercing cold ceramic floor immediately came in contact with his defenceless foot as he stepped out to the veranda. Trees at the park below had shown only their lofty arms. Mountains of white frost covered the whole town. Winter had arrived.

Another morning, petals of cherry blossom fluttered gently and one landed on his palm as he reached out. He was greeted by the comforting warmth of sun's ray along with the cheerful singing of the Robins. Spring was earlier than expected.

The scorching heat of summer followed, keeping him at home most of the time. He was rendered more and more impatient.

Without as much of a warning, the vibrant green had faded away, replaced with depressing pale brown.

Tokiya felt his feet heavy with every step he took. The crisping sound of dried leaves in fall has always been soothing to his ears, but it didn't work that day. He put a hand on his head as it started spinning again. He had not been sleeping properly these past several days. Kurosaki, his manager gave him a good scolding about it. But he had his unfinished new songs to worry about.

The dark blue-haired lifted his face, looking at his apartment with bitter expression. He didn't feel like going home, because, truthfully, he had not been working on any of his new single. He couldn't, to be precise. His brain's clogged. It was not like Tokiya at all to run away from his problem. But the dreams came back to him recently, and they were even more overwhelming than ever, to the point it is suffocating.

He wanted to give up, Tokiya thought. If he was'nt going to find the mysterious boy ever, if he wasn't going to learn the truth, then he wished he could just erase it all. Days, months and years had passed. The seasons continued to change before his eyes. He still made no progress. He was exhausted. He was hurting. He was desperate. Yet nothing could answer to his pain.

"Arf! Arf!"

A puppy's barking interrupted his train of thought.

"Are you all alone? Well, I am too! So wanna come with me?"

A chirpy voice came after. One that Tokiya was sure he never heard of in his life, but it strongly resembled the one that's always been in his head. But it couldn't be that easy, could it?

Tokiya spun around, looking for the source of the voice. He froze in his place when his eyes landed on a man wearing red hoodie over his head, squatting in front of a cardboard box, holding a, what seemed to be abandoned puppy on both his hands. Tokiya's heart skipped a beat for a reason he didn't know. It was strangely unusual of him, but he called out to the man.

"Excuse... me."

The man turned, his hoodie fell back a little, revealing his bright red locks. He looked up to Tokiya, curiosity reflected on his red irises. Tokiya's heartbeat rose. Again, the feature matched.

"Yes?" answered the man.

"Ah, umm that's…"

The redhead stared at Tokiya in confusion, waiting for him to finish. He glanced back at the puppy with black and white fur on his hand who's still barking softly. Then he looked as if he had come to realization. "Oh, I see!"

"Huh?"

He held up the puppy towards Tokiya. "Is he yours? I'm so sorry! I thought he was abandoned and just casually picked him up. Wow, that's close! I could have brought him home!"

"Uh, what…? No, no, it isn't."

"Eh, it isn't?" the redhead frowned. His puzzled expression was back once again, though it didn't last long. He brightened up again and exclaimed. "I know! Do you also want to take him home? Of course, huh? He is this cute after all!"

Tokiya was a bit taken aback. He called out to the man on a whim and honestly didn't know what to say after. But the reaction of the other was certainly unexpected. He couldn't help but wonder just how innocent this person could be. A stranger coming up to him with unclear motives, yet he showed no sign of hostility at all. Tokiya had spoken no more than 3 words to him and he immediately assumed he meant no harm in any way. Regardless, it somehow calmed Tokiya down a whole lot with their odd exchanges.

Tokiya couldn't bear not to chuckle at the man's remarks. "He sure is lovely, isn't he?"

"I know, right?!" He beamed to the puppy before turning back to Tokiya. He stood up right away and said. "Here you go!"

"Ah, no. I do not wish to adopt him." Tokiya declined the puppy offered to him politely, quickly adding a reason before a dejected look appear on the redhead's face. "My apartment doesn't allow pets."

"Oh, that's too bad… Guess you're coming with me then, little guy!"

"Then he should have a proper check-up. Since he's still a puppy, you might want to consult the vet first when he would be needing vaccination."

"Eh? Check-up? Vacci—?"

"Could it be, you don't know any of the first steps?"

The redhead laughed sheepishly.

Tokiya sighed. "Anyway, for now take him to a veterinarian first."

"Umm, where can I find one, I wonder…?"

Two hours later, Tokiya walked out of a white building side by side with the redhead who carried the puppy in his arms, along with a plastic bag from the pet shop. Tokiya had given a thorough explanation of where to go and what to do after picking up strays to the man, but how clueless the other is, really worried him unnecessarily. Thus he ended up accompanying him all the way to a clinic before proceeding to shop for the puppy.

"Aren't you energetic? Ready to see your new home, little guy?"

The puppy excitedly barked twice as if answering the question.

"Are you going to keep calling him that? If you're taking care of him, won't he need a proper name from now on?" Tokiya suggested.

"Oh, yeah! Hmm, let's see… What should I call you?" The redhead thought for a while before coming up with another question. "By the way, what's his breed again?"

"Alaskan malamute. Didn't the doctor say so?"

"Ah, yes! That! You know a lot, don't you? That's cool!"

"Not really. It's just that I have a colleague who adores animal and the likes very much." For once, Tokiya was actually grateful of his memorizing ability and having Shinomiya shoving random information of pet's caretaking to him almost on daily basis. "So have you decided on a name?"

"This fur colour... And also pointy ears. He kinda resembles a wolf, doesn't he?"

"Yes, somehow…" Tokiya nodded as he watched how the light in those red eyes turned from a vivid glow to dim ray for a split second.

He cheered back up in similar pace and lifted the puppy above his head. "Then let's call you Randolph!"

Tokiya went silent. His heart was suddenly pounding hard in his chest again. It sounded very familiar, as if someone had been referring the name 'Randolph' to him a long time ago. "Why…?" Tokiya managed.

"Eh?" He racked his brain for a short while. "I don't really know, actually. But I had always thought that name holds a special meaning to me. I don't remember why though." He grinned at Randolph and continued. "The wondrous meeting with this little guy today must have meant something. I know I'll definitely remember today. So, I think there's nothing else I can name this guy with."

Wondrous meeting, indeed. Tokiya felt the same towards this man, although he still didn't understand how and based on what his heart decided that. Not yet, at least.

As if reading his mind, the redhead turned to Tokiya. "By the way, that applied to you as well! Somehow I feel that meeting you today is really wonderful. Ah, well, you did help me a lot and I'm really grateful for it! But other than that, I'm just happy knowing you."

"Is that so?" Dull response as it may seem, but the question came out from Tokiya really earnestly, more than he had ever done.

"Yeah!" He nodded.

"How can you be this sure? You know, we have only just met. There is a fairly huge chance of me plotting something malicious and you are currently falling right into the trap."

"Eh, but you're not, right?"

"Well, I am certainly not, but aren't you a least bit suspicious or scared of what I might do to you?"

The redhead smiled reassuringly, from where the confidence came from was a pure mystery to the other. "I'm not scared. I can tell just by looking into your eyes." He then snickered. "Besides, you also helped me out ungrudgingly, right? Even though normally you could just leave me be. As expected, you're a good person after all!"

Tokiya was stunned, though he couldn't help the smile that tugged at his own lips. Never had anyone been so frank and honest about him. Not many people could see through Tokiya's cold and unfriendly mask, much less pointing out his favourable side within the first encounter.

"I guess there's nothing I can retort about that."

"Of course!" The smile unwavering on his face. "That reminds me. How come we haven't known each other's name after all this?! I'm Ittoki Otoya! What's your name?"

"Ittoki… Otoya…" Tokiya repeated. As though he wanted to burn it down his memory, so it would not escape from him, so that he would no longer forget.

"Yes! Yes! And you?"

"My name is Ichinose."

"Hmm?" Go on, he urged.

"…Ichinose Tokiya."

"Tokiya, it is!" Ittoki Otoya beamed. "Nice to meet you!"

At the call of his own name and the enchanting smile of the man named Ittoki Otoya, with just that, he finally surrendered.

The outburst of emotion. The built up stress from work. The sense of relief. The suppressed unknown sorrow. The dream that had been haunting him since forever, and its answer. All of those jumbled into one and the walls that had been holding him up crumbled at once. Tears slid down from his turquois-blue eyes, one drop after another until it became a stream flowing down his pale cheek in one single line. He made no sound in the process, yet those eyes held no lies. He let the rather disgraceful side of himself be exposed for the world to see. But Tokiya found it didn't matter to matter to him right at that moment.

Tokiya lifted his head to take a good look at Otoya's face. The latter was in panic. His gaze was that of deep concern, his words indicated his worries though there was not much he could do to cheer up the former while his hands full of the puppy and its goods.

Tokiya knew very well that he was strange that day. Everything he did was beyond his control and reasoning. Feeling emotional for a man he just met, foremost. However, there's no stopping him at that time. He grabbed Otoya by his shoulder and said in almost a whisper.

"I found you…!"

Another set of season passed by, but something was different.

Tokiya woke up on a freezing cold morning. He was unable to take his eyes off a certain man's sleeping face in his arms. Randolph was shushed to silence immediately as it entered the room with a series of barking. A gentle peck landed on Otoya's forehead when Tokiya sneaked out of the bed and tucked the blanket back on him. It was not until the morning news reported that he noticed the swirl of white had visited the town again.

Enjoying homemade lunchboxes and tea out in the open accompanied by the landscape the Season of Birth brought was an event unthinkable of Tokiya before. The neatly manicured lawn at their feet, the yellow canola flowers surrounding them, cherry blossom trees towering over them, azure blue sky hanging above their heads, yet there was nothing there more captivating than Otoya's smile.

Amidst the hustle and bustle of festival and below the magnificent fireworks, Tokiya kissed Otoya and watched the other's blush seared through his cheeks. Summer wasn't as bad as it used to be anymore.

When Otoya stood there and the sparks of gold, bronze and scarlet in the fall enhanced his beauty, Tokiya was once again reminded of how much he loves this person.

He pulled the redhead closer to him, embracing him. There were days in his life where they were filled with regrets and despair. How curious it is, that those days already felt like an eternity ago. Because right now, everything—the whole world is shining in his eyes.

"Ranmaru was going off about how great your single this time will sell."

Tokiya answered, barely looking up from his script. "Oh yes, Kurosaki-san did, didn't he?"

Mikaze, another colleague of his went on. "It piqued my interest so I asked him for the sample."

"I see."

Silence filled the dressing room with only the two of them. After observing Tokiya's expression and found nothing, Mikaze decided to obtain the answer to his question directly. "So, what happened?"

The dark-haired turned around at last. "What do you mean?"

"Did something wonderful happen?"

"What are you trying to say, Mikaze-san?"

"You know what I am saying." The younger of the two stared straight at Tokiya's eyes. "I listened to your songs. They are different. From when we were still in a 3 persons unit with Natsuki, even from when you started doing solo and from the album you released before this. What changed you, Tokiya?"

At that, an unreadable smile formed on Tokiya's face. "I didn't change, unfortunately. I've just simply found myself."

Mikaze didn't make any comment.

"Mikaze-san, do you believe in fate?"

"Not very much, but it does explain an abundant amount of encounter people deem 'miraculous'."

"Yes, it was the same for me."

"Was?"

"I met someone a while ago. I might be exaggerating, but he feels very much like a soulmate to me."

"…How exactly?"

"It is simple, if I were to say. When he smiles, I can continue to sing. When he held my hand, I can feel my own existence. When he's there, I feel complete. I have always thought I am waiting and longing for something, but when he came into my life, it was as if the burden on my shoulder was lifted. And then before realizing it, I began to think to myself, 'Ah, so this is love.'"

One night, Tokiya dreamt of the beast and the young boy again. In that dream, those two were staring at him with a warm smile. Tokiya opened his mouth, but before he could make out a single word, they turned around. They walked and walked away on a field of flowers toward an unknown land, hand in hand with each other. Since then, Tokiya never saw the dream anymore. As time passed, the memories of it gradually faded away, replaced by the happiness that seemed to be overflowing each and every day.

From the day we met, and continuing into the future. My certain ever love for you.

So I've been hung up to it ever since listening to The Forest of Lycoris drama cd that one day when I heard Mamo's (Tokiya's VA) song, I thought holy shit this could be a fic.

Please do check out his song if you're interested.
"Ever Love" - Miyano Mamoru

But lmao funny thing is I only used the lyrics until the first chorus cuz I somehow made it too long than planned.

Anyway, thanks for reading~
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