The chilly air wasn't enough to deter the young man when he decided to go on a mid morning stroll by the river to clear his head. Rather short in stature with wild ebony hair and such delicate facial features, this teenager could have easily been mistaken as a young woman if one did not know him personally. His red full lips puffed steam into the frigid morning air and steaming up his coke bottle glasses as he walked, with the gentle breeze reddening soft cheeks and brushing jet hair from his forehead; revealing a curiously shaped scar.

Harry Potter walked briskly along the biker path, his mind miles away. He had only just returned from another disastrous year at Hogwarts, with this year at the top of his most hated; arguably taking first and bumping his fourth year to second. After the Battle at the Ministry Harry had spent his last remaining days at school in a daze. With Sirius dead, Harry's health had taken a dramatic turn. He had stopped eating and wouldn't respond when talked to. His sleep had been filled with dreams of Sirius falling through the Veil, his grey eyes accusatory; as if to say, 'This was your fault. YOU made this happen.' It wasn't till about a week into his depression when he forcibly yanked out of his daze by Snape, who had told him to stop feeling sorry for himself and get over it. That had put him in a rage bigger than what he felt in the Headmaster's office when he was told about the prophecy. But when he had finally calmed down enough to think he had realized that that was the first feeling besides guilt and self loathing he had felt for almost a whole week.

After that, he had begun to eat and speak again, putting on a brave face for his friends and teachers as he went on his day to day business.

After he returned to Privet Drive he retreated to his room, where he spent the rest of his 'coming home' alone, mourning the death of the only father figure he had ever had.

Now a days, he's spent his entire day locked in his rooms avoiding his relatives (who were just as keen to avoid him back) and doing his summer homework. When he wasn't doing homework he was reading Dudley's old books; the covers never having been cracked, they were were in perfect condition. When he had finished all of that, he had searched desperately for something else to do do; anything to keep his mind off Sirius.

Then he got the most perfect idea.

He was very well aware Dumbledore had placed guards outside Number Four and had taken it upon himself to learn just who it was that were guarding him and learned their shifts. Now, every Sunday afternoons and Thursday evenings he can sneek out his window (using his invisibility cloak) and down the white ivy covered wall and sneak off to the park.

Which is how he had found himself wrapped in his Gryffindor scarf and Weasley sweater, hands buried deep inside his pockets as he walked beside the gurgling river, bright green eyes hazed over in deep thought.

It was his fault Sirius died. He was the reason his friends had been captured and hurt. If he had only tried harder in his Oclumency lessons or had checked in with Sirius to make sure- Harry's foot steps faltered. Harry's breathing had become irregular as he fought back his tears and guilt.

If only he had not been blinded by his own bravery and foolishness, Sirius would still be alive. And with this thought his strength crumbled and he fell to the pavement, his body racked with harsh sobs as he let out his pain and anguish. With his face buried in his hands, glasses askew and pressed to the ground, his form shaking from grief and cold the boy looked utterly miserable. After a good thirty minutes his sobs began to lessen till he could only hiccup and gasp as he finally got himself under control that he could stand on shaky legs. The sun had begun to creep into the sky once again, turning the sky a pale blue. He could hear birds singing over the rolling and bubbling river as they go about their morning.

But none of it registers to the boy as he stared up at the morning sky. Maybe... things would be better?- maybe if he disappeared... if he just... Harry's dull gaze slipped over to the river. A grim smile slid over his lips. It'd be for the best. If he were to just disappear than he would never put his friends in danger again. He could see Sirius again, as well as Cedric... And he could finally meet his parents. Maybe he could get stuck in the river long enough for people to not be able to recognize him, then Voldemort would forever wonder what had happened to the 'Great Harry Potter'. Maybe if he was unlucky enough, he would come back as a ghost. Then he would haunt him for the rest of his miserable life.

The more he thought about it, the more the idea appealed to him more and more. Barely aware of what he was doing, Harry stepped off the trail and walked over to the safety guard, placing his hands on the freezing, rusty bar. His mind was swimming with the possibilities his death would bring. The Order would no longer have to babysit him; his friend's would (hopefully) become less of a target for Death Eater attacks; he would never get the chance to become a murderer like the prophecy had predicted; Voldemort would never get the pleasure of murdering the one Fated to defeat him. Harry giggled at the thought. He leaned a little over the rail, his legs little more than a few inches off the ground.

But then Voldemort would have the world.

It would no longer be any concern of mine.

He will slaughter everyone who'll go against him.

So? Death is inevitable. They were gonna die later on anyways.

Are you okay with letting millions of innocent people die?

This made him pause.

... no... No I'm not.

So why are you abandoning them?

I'm not abandoning them!

Your dangling head first over a safety rail. If you lean a bit further you'd fall head long into the water.

So... why are you?

... I guess... because... Why was he doing it?

Realization hit him and with a startled cry he threw himself away from the rail and fell on his bottom. Just what in the name of Merlin was he thinking?! All of a sudden a wave of nausea hit him.

Sweet Merlin, he had almost killed himself!

His eyes widened and his breath came in short gasps. He had almost thrown his life away. As if it meant nothing. As if his parents sacrifice had meant nothing. All because he had wanted to be selfish. So he didn't have to face his guilt and pain everytime someone died for him.

He thought of his friends. About how devastated and horrified they'd have been if he'd died... Sweet Merlin... Remus had already lost his friends. Losing Harry, the last connection he had to James and Lily...

Harry buried his face in his hands once again. He didn't cry. He had run out of tears. So he remained silent as he regained his ability to breathe, his heart racing a mile a minute. THe sounds of the river mingled with the blood rushing through his ears barely picked up the soft sneeze that came from his left. Harry jerked up right, looking for the source. Finding nothing, Harry decided he was still shaken from earlier and decided he should head back.

aachoo!*

Harry stopped dead in his tracks. Now he KNEW he had heard someone. The trail was still kind of dark with sun light filtering in through the thick canopy in some spots. But even so, Harry could not see a single soul on, or off the path.

cough cough achooo!*

Previous trauma pushed to the side, Harry peered around the railing. He could not see anyone.

"Hello?" Harry called out.

Silence. Harry tried again.

Again, silence. Furrowing his brow Harry looked up and down the river bed, thinking he may have missed something. Other than floating litter and a half empty milk crate Harry could see noth-

The milk crate moved.

No. Wait. There something inside the milk crate. A cat? It moved again; little movements that disturbed the white covering. Could be a cat. Harry was undecided whether he should retrieve the thing when-

"Waaaaaaaahh!"

Oh, sweet Circe, no.

Adrenalin shot through his whole body as leaped over the rail -careful not to let go of it as he gently slid down the muddy river wall. Now about a foot away from the sloshing water Harry turned to where he last saw the crate.

It had miraculously caught on some dead branches but said branches were too thin to hold it for long. Harry dug the toes of his shoes into the side as he side walked in the crates direction. The sewage smell almost had him convulse but he pushed on. HArry had nearly slipped, sending his foot into icy waters bellow, but that did not deter him as he finally reached the crate.

Being almost a foot above the crate Harry caught a brief glance at the small, scrunched and almost blue face of an infant before the twigs keeping the crate in place began to slide. The baby's cries tore at his heart as he quickly reached out with his icy foot to grab it; missing it by a couple inches Harry shushed to terrified babe.

"Shhhhh, shush shush. It'll be alright baby. I'll get you out," Harry's less then calm voice only made the sick child cry harder, hacking and coughing in between wails. Harry sidles over again as the crate slowly became loosened from the river side. Harry reached out blindly with his foot, praying to every deity that he wouldn't miss. Desperate green eyes looked back, hoping with all hope he had succeeded.

The crate was hooked at the very tip of his trainer; the rubber on the tip, peeling as it was, actually managed to hook onto the side of the crate. Sighing in relief Harry carefully and slowly pulled the crate closer to him. When it bumped against the muddy wall Harry slowly reached down with one hand to grab at it. He had a brief scare when the hand holding the rail slipped, but he managed to grab at the bar in time. He quickly went back to the task at hand When the child's screams became more frantic. Harry's already pale face drained of all color when he noticed the crate had been filled with water.

"Shit!" Harry reached down, trying desperately to grab at the crate but coming up a few inches short. Meanwhile, the babes screams turned into even more coughing and hacking. Harry didn't know what to do. He couldn;t reach the crate and their was no way he could jump into the water without the river carrying him under. Harry grabbed at the muddy wall, searching for a sturdy rock he can hold onto; SOMETHING that could help! It took him a little while but in all his digging and rooting he managed to find a sturdy tree root.

With no time to celebrate Harry grabbed hold of firmly and let go of the rail. Finding that, indeed the tree ro was sturdy enough, Harry leaned down and grabbed the half filled crate. The sick infant inside coughed and shivers as Harry -with some difficulty- lifted it over his head and under the Guard Rail. Sighing in relief Harry had only just managed to grab the bottom bar before his 'sturdy' tree root came out in his hand. THe tree root was rather unimpressive, being no thicker than his thumb and slick with mud. He was briefly surprised that it had held him so long.

He shook his head slightly against the oddity before he heaves himself up and over the Rail. Panting with exertion Harry quickly grabbed the crate and still screaming babe. He made quick work pulling the soden child from the box, its swaddled dirty blanket soaked with cold river water. He divested the child of its dirty blanket and wrapped his scarf around the small body. Harry then quickly lifts his sweater high enough to stuff the freezing child underneath and against his own body. Harry shivers when their skin meet.

"Shhh, shhhhh. It's okay. You'll be alright. Shhhhhh." Rocking slightly Harry gently ran his hands over the small lump under his shirt, trying to bring warmth into the still shivering baby. The childs screams had dulled into soft whimpers an coughs. Harry moved into the sun, hoping it would help. He continued to shush and reassure it that it was safe and they'd be okay. Harry was concerned when they fell asleep, but was placated when he felt the soft, uneven rise and fall of a tiny chest against his own. He could here watery lungs breathing in and out as continued to rub warmth back into little legs and feet. Harry could feel the morning chill dissipate from the air to be replaced by spring (almost summer) warmth.

This little being couldn't be more than a few days old, Harry thought. The thought that someone had just left their infant in a box and left them for dead sent a wave of nausea and rage through him. If he hadn't had been there when he was... If he hadn't have stopped himself when he did...

Harry's breath hitched. No. That is thought for another day, Harry decided, still swaying and whispering loving words of comfort. He could feel his magic covering the little life he had saved like a blanket.

They need to be fed, but how?! He couldn't just waltz into the Dursley's home with a new born baby and demand milk for it. They'd probably accuse him of abducting the child and have him carted off to jail. Harry snorted at the thought. Maybe he could go out and buy formula? It wasn't a bad idea. He could buy a few containers of powdered formula from the nearest corner store with some of the muggle money he had exchanged from Gringots. But that money could only only help them get by for about a month before he'd run out. He wasn't planning on actually using it at the time, it was just to see if he COULD exchange wizard currency to Muggle. But now that it had a purpose Harry was kind of nervous how he was going to get more.

Harry grabbed his cloak from a hidden niche in an old tree and quickly cover himself with it; keeping it closed with his one hand while he cradled the slumbering child with the other. Harry set off in the direct he came from up the path, with a bounce in his step.

\ (T . T*)

Harry stood at the counter, patiently waiting for his purchases to be scanned. The woman had given him a kind look when she had saw just what he was buying but otherwise didn't comment, to his immense relief. When she was done she bagged them and handed them over the counter.

"There you are. And here's your change." Dropping a few coins into his hand along with the receipt.

Harry smiled brightly at the young woman. "Thank you. Have a great day!" Her answering 'You too!' followed him out the door. It was still quite early in the morning and he had at least thirty minutes to hurry back before Fletcher's shift ended. Harry hurried behind the store and wrapped his cloak around himself before he began his short trek 'home'.

The child, he had come to realize was a little girl. She was of oriental heritage and was the most beautiful child he had ever seen. Soft tufts of black fuzz covered the top of her head and she the cutest button nose. Her face was slender, but that was probably to do with malnutrition than anything. She had ten fingers and ten toes, her skin pale, wrinkly and peeling but altogether adorable. She was beautiful and he did not understand why her parents ( or parent) had just abandoned her like that.

Privet Drive was in sight and he picked up his pace; careful not to jostle the baby too much. With Number Four in sight Harry stopped to make sure the cost was clear -Mundungus was still snoring in the neighbor's bush, a bottle of booze clutched tightly to his chest) before he crept silently to the back of the house. He could hear the television going and his Aunt vacuuming an upstairs room. Harry carefully turned the door handle -taking care not to turn too fast- Harry silently crept into the kitchen, his bundle held close to his chest. He was infinitely singing the cashier lady's praises for using the reusable cloth bags. The bag at his side barely make a sound as it brushed against his leg. Double checking that the invisibility cloak covered every inch of him and the bag Harry made his way to the living room, barely glancing at his cousin who was eating his Second Breakfast in front of the television.

Skipping the third step, Harry had made it to the hallway when he froze up.

His aunt Petunia was dusting the picture frames not five feet away from him, humming a tune as she worked. She didn't seem to notice that she wasn't alone so he relaxed slightly, careful not to look at his aunt full on. With his back to the opposite wall, Harry sidles behind her, careful not to brush against her as he slowly crept to his door. Releasing a silent breath he glance behind him to find her still merrily dusting. He waited a few more minutes before she finally finished. Apparently satisfied with her work, she took her supplies and went down the stairs. Harry whispered a soft, 'Finally!' before entering his room.

Glancing at his bedside table, his clock read 7:56 am. It had become habit when he had spent a half of a month learning each Order member's shifts. He had four minutes before Sally Hincklesworth's shift began.

"Alright now, I'm going to set you down now." Harry carefully removed the baby from his sweater; the Gryffindor scarf still wrapped snug around the fragile body. He was quick to rid himself of the sweater before returning the baby to his chest, still unsure about letting the babe away from his body heat. The little girl's small face scrunched up in discomfort and she began to wimper.

"Oh Sweet heart, don't cry." He rocked her gently. Her fussing calmed and she went quiet once more. Grabbing one of the brand new bottles from the bag Harry was silent as he left his room and crept into the bathroom.

Using the tap, he was able to fill the bottle with luke warm water and return to his room with no complications. Digging out out one of the -surprisingly expensive- canisters of formula. Looking over the instructions diligently Harry scooped the proper amount into the bottle. Screwing the lid shut, Harry began to shake it.

Harry soon learned your suppose to cover the nipple to avoid making a mess of your surroundings.