Just in case in bothers someone: There's swearing in this. :)

She knew it. For weeks Karen felt like someone was watching her from the dark and she had hoped that it was him. It was horrifying and a relief at the same time looking around that corner in her own apartment and seeing a dark figure beat someone up who probably was sent to kill her.

Two things led to that moment. One was the release of Wilson Fisk. Of course that man would want her dead. He had more reason to than people were aware of. She killed someone very close to him after all.

The second news that twisted her gut was the reappearance of the Devil of Hell's Kitchen. And that one was more confusing, because on the one hand there were reports about a man saving people just the way he used to do. But then there were other reports. They described a man running wild and killing people. And the witnesses did sound very believable.

It made her feel so many things at once it was difficult to keep track. She couldn't help getting her hopes up and at the same time feeling betrayed if it was him and he didn't let her know that he's alive. And if he wasn't? Then someone was destroying his legacy and everything Daredevil stood for. There is only one thought more terrifying than that: What if it is him and he somehow came back wrong and irreparably broken?

When she woke up from the noise, fear and hope were competing in her head. It sounded like two men were fighting in her apartment, so one of them was probably on her side, right? That's why she finally dared to investigate without taking the gun she always had within reach. This is it. The moment she's been waiting for and dreading ever since she first saw a picture of the vigilante who looked so familiar.

That man in front of her, dressed in black with his eyes covered, sure is vicious, his punches and kicks are so precise that the fight is almost quiet and probably already over. Karen doesn't recognise the guy he is beating up, but the man looks unconscious. His brutality is disturbing to the point that she wants to scream, desperate tears gathering in her eyes. But the one word she utters is barely above a whisper: "Stop..."

Suddenly his fist hesitates midair and he tilts his head in her direction. That jawline she'll never forget, even covered in blood she somehow knows it's him. Karen releases a breath she didn't realise she was holding and Matt looks like he's hyperventilating, like he hadn't expected her to wake up while someone apparently broke into her apartment. Then he slowly staggers back and walks away from her.

Right now she isn't too concerned about the man lying on the floor (what has her life become, seriously?). She needs answers and seeing her friend - or the man she briefly dated - after he was assumed dead quickly move for the door she panics. "Wait!"

He stops, his body slumped, head turned down, hands still held like fists. The tension is killing her until she hears him talk.

"I'm sorry." It's him.

It's his damn voice, sounding wrong and far away. She waits for more. What exactly is he sorry about? Lying, hiding, making them believe he is dead? Or is he sorry for getting caught, for entering her home at night without her knowledge to protect her?

She is about to ask when he cuts her off: "That's all there is to say, Karen."

"No, it's not! I've got lots of things to say to you..." Her words come out firm, but scared at the same time. Damn it, she can't let him leave like this. When he starts moving forward again she gets frustrated: "Don't you dare run away again."

His hand lays on the doorknob, but he turns around, his jaw tense. There is a silent second before he talks or almost snarls: "I know what you're going to say. I've heard you and Foggy talk about me. About that asshole who is too much of a coward to show his face to the two people who's lives he has fucked up the most."

They did say that. She doesn't remember if it was her or Foggy and all she wants to do now is take it back, realising how much he must be hurting over all of this when they felt if he was alive he probably didn't care about them anymore. However, she's still too shocked to form words. A tear starts running down her face while she takes in the human disaster in front of her and he goes on after a very bitter laugh: "I'm trying to make up for it, guarding you as much as I can. I... I am going to fix it, I promise."

He turns around again, but stays when she finally finds her voice. "Thank you." She swallows. "I mean it. But whatever you heard us say was never what we intended for you to hear."

"That's a lie." His hand however leaves the doorknob and he fixes his mask with a sigh.

Okay, yeah, they were mad. But he decided to sacrifice himself and they mourned him for months. Then it sounded like he was alive and didn't care enough to let them know? They were entitled to be mad and yes, she just lied a little. "That accusation is rich coming from you and you know it. So, maybe I wanted you to hear, but I would never have been able to say any of it to your face if you had the guts to listen like that."

His instincts to run must be overwhelming right now, but somehow he manages to stay put and accept the challenge. "I'm listening. So, what is it you want to say to my face?" Now he even takes his mask off, so she can actually do just that. He's offering her closure.

She's dumbstruck for a moment. There was no intention in her heart to put him down any further, but looking at the pain and desperation in his eyes it would have been impossible to stay mad at him anyway. The sudden longing to embrace and comfort him nearly takes over. But she doesn't want him to flee. She gets that he sees this as her chance to say her bit and then he is going to vanish again and be her scary, twisted protector watching over her out of the dark. She has enough of that crap.

It's aggravating that he seems more ready to listen to her accusations than her concern. "I'm scared, Matt. And tremendously grateful that Daredevil is looking out for me." She stresses that with a hesitant smile and his eyes soften as well. "But... what I really want, more than anything in the world, is to talk to Matt Murdock again. I want to ask him how he's been, laugh about his ridiculous blind jokes and plan to take down bad men with him..."

Matt nods quietly, she thinks that he is moved a little, but then he puts the mask back on and says with determination in his voice: "Matt Murdock is dead."

This is even worse than she feared. He's closing off again and she doesn't know what to do or say. Only moments after finding out for real that he's alive, she suddenly feels even more hopeless than before. "Do you think that there is any way for him to be... reborn?"

She sees him lick his lips, but he doesn't give her an answer. He just leaves her like that saying goodbye as if he can't wait to put distance between them.

It's not a no, though. So, for some silly reason she's clinging to the fact that she will see him again. It sucks that she obviously has to be in danger for Daredevil to be around, but she'll take it. Maybe she'll get through to him eventually.

As for Matt Murdock: She had buried the idea she had of him in her head a long time ago. Even before she knew who he was. It was a fantasy. There was still so much she didn't know about him. She didn't know how much he was driven by darkness, she didn't know what he was capable of both in terms of his abilities and in terms of his willingness to break the law.

But whoever the man behind that mask really is, she thinks she is now ready to find out - and from whatever glimpse she caught of him earlier, maybe he is just as lost as she is. Maybe she can somehow help him find the real Matt Murdock, even if she has to show him her own demons in the process. Because she doesn't believe he's truly gone.

But first she has to call the police to pick that guy on her floor up...