Yep, it's official... I've jumped on the bandwagon. But at least this story will be tasteful and not just plotless smut...

ON WITH THE SHOW!

Bowsette On The Streets

A Super Mario Bros. Fan Fiction

by Derald Snyder

NOTE: I have not played Super Mario Odyssey, so I know nothing about how New Donk City is laid out.

It had started as a joke, a prank of sorts.

After all, if a year ago somebody had told Bowser, King of the Koopas, that he would transform into a humanoid woman and enjoy it, he'd have bitten their head off- possibly literally. But that was before Toadette had joined with the Mario Bros. (and one other Toad) in their foiling of Bower's latest plot- taking over Peach's castle itself and remaking it in his image.

You see, Toadette had, in the course of said journey to Peach's castle, somehow acquired a unique power-up called a Super Crown, that had the ability to transform her into a facsimile of Peach herself, which she had used to distract Bowser Jr. into thinking that the real princess had escaped, allowing Mario to hijack the Jr. Clown Car and use it to give giant Bowser the worst migraine ever. Meanwhile, Luigi and the other Toad located the real Peach and released her from captivity, allowing her to use her own magic to restore her castle to it's former glory as Bowser, his son, and the Koopalings were forced to retreat.

The joke happened when Kamek and Ludwig managed to re-create their own version of the Super Crown... but none of Bowser's other minions were brave enough to try it. But while Bowser himself had been called many things over the years, a coward was NOT one of them. So he took the Super Crown and placed it on his own head...

The results were... interesting, to say the least.

The Toads of the Mushroom Kingdom had been dumbfounded as a goth-facsimile Peach walked in their midst, wearing a pair of horns and a spiked shell on her back... the ruse only being exposed when the REAL Peach and Toadette confronted the fake, with the latter swiping the Super Crown off the doppelganger's head, reverting the Koopa King to his true form and causing the Toads to flee in panic. Then, placing the Super Crown on her own head, Toadette assisted Peach in holding off Bowser long enough for the Mario Bros. to arrive on the scene, at which point Bowser decided (for once) to cut his losses and beat a hasty retreat in his Koopa Clown Car.

However, this little prank had given the King of the Koopas an idea (a rare occurrence in itself). If the Toads, who were well-acquainted with Bowser and his minions, had been so easily fooled, then what about people from other regions of the world...?

And so thus it was, about a week later, that 'Bowsette' was found walking through the streets of New Donk City. And while she was definitely 'noticed', the people there utterly failed to make the connection with the feared Koopa King. Of course, she still retained some of Bowser's identifying features- other than the aforementioned horns and spiked shell, she also kept the spiked collar on her neck as well as the spiked gauntlets on her wrists and upper arms. Other than that, she looked reasonably similar to Peach herself, though her eyebrows were thicker, her hair was pulled into a rough ponytail, and her bosom was a bit... larger. This last fact was a little disturbing to the Koopa King, especially the way they... bounced. Sure, Kamek had explained the proper function of a female human's breasts, but Bowser still couldn't comprehend why human males seemed to be so attracted to them. (Which was one of the reasons he pined for Peach, who was relatively flat-chested herself.)

Fortunately for Bowsette, her bosom's bouncing was somewhat constrained by the tight corset of her black dress, which looked like Peach's default dress from the waist down. However, in Bowsette's case her dress was low-cut enough to not only expose her bare shoulders, but also show a little cleavage, which was emphasized by a blue oval-shaped jewel dead center.

Still, as she walked through the streets, Bowsette figured a little 'distraction' didn't hurt, if would keep people from making the connection as to who she really was...

"Hold it right there!"

...but as the old saying goes, 'you can't fool all the people all the time.'

Bowsette turned to see a svelte woman dressed in a red business suit, with long, flowing brown hair, blue eyes with purple eyeshadow, full red lips, and a stylish purple hat. "...Ah, Mayor Pauline, I presume." Though Bowsette spoke with Peach's voice, it was slightly lower and 'gravelly' or 'growly'. Some might have even called it 'seductive' or 'sexy.'

"Just what do you think you're doing back in my city?" Pauline asked accusingly as she strode up to the blonde. "That disguise might fool some people, but not me, Koopa King."

"Is that so?" Bowsette raised an eyebrow as she crossed her arms over her bosom. "Seems you've got more in your head than just a good singing voice..."

It should be noted, that the transformation to a (somewhat) human woman had the side effect of actually raising the Koopa ruler's intelligence slightly, though only about 5-10 IQ points.

"I didn't get to become mayor with my good looks, you know," Pauline retorted. "Just what are you plotting?"

"Who says I'm plotting anything?" Bowsette shot back. "Maybe I'm just being a tourist for once..."

"Do you honestly expect me to believe that?" the brunette challenged. "You do realize, you still have several warrants for your arrest for the mayhem you pulled last time you came here..."

At this, Bowsette threw her head back and laughed, not the usual deep, evil laughter that Bowser was known for, but more along the lines of a witch's cackling slowed down to half speed or less. "No jury would convict me! They'd all take one look and say 'That's not Bowser!' And you'd be laughed out of the courtroom!"

At this, Pauline's hands clenched into fists as she growled, grimly realizing that her adversary was correct, yet unwilling to admit it outright. "...You just watch yourself, Bowser. You cause any more trouble in my city, and you will regret it."

"HA! Your piddly little threats don't scare me!" Bowsette taunted as she turned and began to walk off. "Good day, Mayor." With that, she left, leaving a fuming Pauline behind...

Some time later, Bowsette realized she was thirsty, so she stopped at a cafe with an outdoor deck to get a drink. She was glad that Kamek knew a spell to change Mushroom Kingdom coins into other currency, as exchange rates were horrible due to the Mushroom Kingdom being invaded all the time- an irony that was not completely lost on the Koopa King.

"Thanks for your business! Please do come again!" the man said with a knowing glint in his eye. Bowsette just smirked before turning and walking off, looking for a place to sit... preferably someplace where she would be left alone.

But then, out of the corner of her eye, the blonde thought she saw a familiar red hat. Could it be...? Turning, she walked a bit closer, eyes widening slightly as other familiar features became clear... No doubt about it, it was Bowser's eternal enemy, Mario himself, with a book under his nose and a drink off to the side. However, instead of his usual red shirt and blue overalls, he wore a white cotton T-shirt and red shorts, in concession to the warm climate.

At first, Bowsette considered avoiding the plumber... but again, the King of the Koopas was not one to run and hide from his enemies (unless he'd been utterly defeated, that is). So, she walked up and sat down across from the plumber, taking a sip from her drink. "Hello, Mario..."

The Italian man looked up at the sound of his name, blinking in confusion at the sight of the blonde bombshell before him. "Peach...? No, you're not-a... who are you?"

"Oh come now," Bowsette purred as she leaned forward, "it's only been a week or so since we last saw each other... surely you remember your old foe?" As she spoke, she lowered her voice to sound at least somewhat close to the Koopa King's deep vocal cords...

Mario narrowed his eyes as he took a closer look, looking at the woman's horns, spiked shell and gauntlets... then it finally clicked. "Mamma Mia!" he literally jumped out of his chair. "Bowser?! Is that-a you...?!"

"In a manner of speaking," Bowsette chuckled, swirling the ice in her drink before sipping from the straw. "Amazing what a certain piece of headgear can do for your looks..."

At that, the plumber look a closer look at the crown on Bowsette's cranium. "Th-that's-a Toadette's Super Crown?! But-a how...?"

"Kamek and Ludwig managed to make a copy," the blonde answered. "They said we could use it to disguise one of my minions as Peach, while I made off with the real deal. But nobody else wanted to test it, so..." She shrugged. "Still, you can't argue with the results... No can tell it's me while I'm wearing it, (save one or two...) so I can walk the streets without inducing fear and panic in the citizens! Not that I don't like doing that, mind you..."

"So just-a what-a are you plotting?" Mario demanded.

"Like I said to Mayor Pauline earlier, I'm not plotting anything, save exploring and taking in the sights, like any other tourist would do. Even villains need a vacation sometimes... just like you do." (Although now I realize what she meant by 'regretting it' if I caused trouble... she must've known Mario was here.)

"Is that-a right..." the plumber muttered as he sat back down, closing his book, watching as his eternal rival took another sip of her drink. "So how-a does it-a feel, losing your-a manhood?"

"Pffffffffft!" At this, Bowsette abruptly spat liquid from her lips all over the table, getting a fair bit up her nose which induced a major coughing and hacking fit, causing her to stand and pound her chest to try and help expel the liquid from her airways... Meanwhile, Mario had to use a napkin to wipe off the cover of his book, keeping a neutral expression on his face, though he was howling with laughter internally. Eventually the blonde regained control of her breathing, panting heavily as she glared at the mustachioed man. *Cough, ahem* "You think you're so clever, plumber... you do realize that all I have to do is remove this crown and I'm my big, bad, manly self again. Though I don't think you'd want that right now... and neither do I, at the moment."

Looking around at the other people having refreshments, Mario had to concede that the transformed Koopa had a point. "I suppose you're-a right... But-a I'm-a keeping an eye on-a you."

"Oh really?" Bowsette said, taking another sip of her drink, before abruptly belching aloud in a very unladylike manner. *Ahem* "So does that mean you'll be following me wherever I go?"

"That's-a right," Mario agreed, somewhat wary.

"Well, in that case..." the blonde straightened up and tossed her drink into the nearby trash bin. "I know what I'm going to do next..."

"What's-a that?"

"Simple, what all women do... go on a shopping spree!" Bowsette proclaimed, flashing a grin full of pointy teeth. "And guess who's playing the pack mule..."

Seeing the color drain from the plumber's face was oh so satisfying... and these days, Bowser would take any victory he could get.

And so began Mario's torture session, as Bowsette walked into every store within view, making a show of looking around before selecting some random items and ringing them up, before giving the bag to her companion to carry. Several people asked if she was Peach, which Mario would respond firmly in the negative, and no, he wasn't cheating either. The usual next question was if his blonde companion was related to Peach somehow, to which Bowsette would either shrug or say something along the lines of "Wouldn't you like to know..."

"Mamma Mia, where do you have-a the money for this?!" Mario grunted, sweating from under his cap as he dragged along several bags.

"Simple, Kamek used a magic spell to change Mushroom Kingdom coins into local currency," Bowsette explained.

"Isn't that-a cheating?! Or counterfeiting?!"

The transformed woman looked back over her shoulder. "You forgot who you're talking to, plumber." She then flicked her ponytail, chuckling evilly as she walked off, Mario shaking his head in disbelief as he hurried to follow after...

A little while later, Bowsette finally allowed her nemesis to take a break, Mario setting down the pile of bags and boxes before collapsing onto a bench, panting heavily. The faux princess sat down next to him, taking great pleasure from her adversary's suffering. "Enjoying yourself?" she asked sarcastically.

"No..." Mario groaned, his arms still throbbing in pain.

"Good." Looking around, Bowsette realized they had wandered into a less-affluent section of New Donk City, seeing a homeless shelter across the street from where they sat. "You'd think in such a big city, people wouldn't have any trouble finding a place to live... Not that I care."

"Unless they can't-a afford-a the rent..." her companion grunted, pulling himself back to a sitting position. But as he stared at the shelter, a lightbulb suddenly went off in Mario's head, jumping off the bench and running across the street.

"Wh-HEY! Get back here!" Bowsette yelled, lifting the skirt of her dress as she chased after the plumber.

But Mario didn't stop, not until he'd gotten through the door to the shelter, spreading his arms as he announced, "Hello! It's-a me, Mario!" Immediately he was surrounded a by few of the homeless people who recognized him. "Me and-a my friend have got a bunch of-a clothes and-a other stuff for you!"

"You do?!" a homeless man gasped.

"Is it that pile of bags and stuff across the street?" another asked.

"That's-a right!" the mustachioed man nodded. "But-a my arms are-a tired, so..." He then turned as Bowsette entered behind him. "And-a you can thank-a her for-a buying all of that-a stuff for you!"

"Huh?" Bowsette blinked in confusion as she was surrounded by the homeless.

"Thank you!"

"Thank you so much!"

"You may look goth, but you've got the heart of an angel!"

"You're so generous, to get all of that for us!"

"What?!" the blonde gaped, her jaw nearly hitting the floor. She couldn't believe it. After all she'd put the plumber through, he'd somehow found a way to throw it all back in her face, by portraying her as a generous, kind-hearted woman... precisely the opposite of her true disposition! She wanted nothing more than to just scream in indignation...

Some time later, Bowsette was stomping down another street, her head bowed and fists clenched, Mario strolling alongside. "...I hate you so much right now... making me out to be a goody-goody! How humiliating!"

"You-a brought it on-a yourself," Mario chuckled with his hands behind his head. "After all, it-a wasn't like you-a were going to-a use any of-a that-a stuff..."

The woman promptly whirled on her companion, sticking a sharp-nailed finger in his face. "Let's get one thing straight, plumber... The only thing stopping me from taking this crown off and tearing you to pieces is the fact that I'm supposed to be on vacation! Don't you forget it!"

"I'd-a beat-a you again anyway," Mario retorted smugly. Bowsette just growled at this, before turning on her heel and stomping off again.

"Hey there!" a voice called out, the two turning to see a sunglasses-wearing man with photography equipment set up. "You and your lady-friend wanna photo to remember your time in New Donk City?"

"Um..." Mario hesitated. "She and I aren't-a quite-a like tha-Gkkk!" He was cut off as Bowsette abruptly grabbed him in a one-armed headlock.

"Of course we'd be happy to!" The horned blonde exclaimed with a toothy grin. "Me and my Mario, together! (Resist and I crush your neck, plumber.)"

"Great!" the photographer smiled widely. "OK, if you could stand over here... Ma'am, loosen up a little on your boyfriend, I think he's turning blue! OK, that's better... now smile!"

Bowsette gave a toothy grin and a victory sign, while Mario grinned nervously as the flash went off. "Perfect! Now just give me a moment to print out the photo..." The photographer walked over to a computer, typing a few commands, the printer nearby producing a glossed photo, which he took and displayed to the duo. "So, what do you think?"

"Wow, it's perfect!" Bowsette proclaimed happily, releasing her companion as she took the photo, folding it up and stuffing it in her purse(the only thing she'd salvaged from her 'shopping spree'). "So, how much do we owe you?"

"Well, that pretty crown on your head would be a start," the man answered. "As well as any other money you have..."

"E-excuse me?!" the blonde grunted, suddenly finding herself and Mario surrounded by several thugs, many of them armed with guns.

"Mamma Mia! It's a trap!" Mario cried as he raised his hands into the air.

"That's right," the 'photographer' stated as he lowered his sunglasses, revealing sinister gray eyes. "You and your lady-friend came to the wrong part of town..." He began to walk forward. "Now hand over that pretty crown and any other valuables, and maybe you'll live to see another day..."

"You pathetic fool!" Bowsette huffed with her hands on her hips. "Do you have any idea who I am...?"

"You kinda look like King Koopa and Princess Toadstool had a child," another thug spoke up, causing a round of laughter among the rest.

"That's not-a funny..." Mario muttered under his breath, even as he stared down the barrel of a thug's gun...

"I know that you're a deliciously sexy lady, for sure," the faux-photographer said, licking his lips. "Maybe me and my boys'll have some fun with you later... Now gimme that crown!" With that he swiped the Super Crown off the woman's head-

*BOUF!*

The thugs' leader suddenly found himself staring at the front of a giant turtle shell. Looking up slightly, his eyes went wide as he saw Bowser's snout... "Wh-what the-?!"

"GROOOOOOOARRR!" The King of the Koopas roared, causing the man to fall on his rump on his shock, dropping the Super Crown.

"HOLY SPIT!" another thug cried out, he and his companions opening fire, only for their bullets to harmlessly bounce off the Koopa's shell. Meanwhile, Mario took advantage of the distraction to slug the thug holding him up in the gut, then proceeding to beat the tar out of him.

"Bwa ha ha ha ha ha hah! Your pathetic weapons are no match for the Koopa King!" Bowser proclaimed. "Now let me show you some real FIRE power!" With that, he expelled a fireball from his mouth, setting the 'photographer' aflame!

"YOOOWWW! It buuuurns!" the leader of the thugs cried, as he rolled on the ground to try and put out the flames, several of his underlings breaking off to try and help him.

"That's-a going too far, Bowser!" Mario cried, even as he punched out another thug.

"BOWSER?!" another thug cried in fear. "Holy crap, RUN! Run for your liiiiiiives!" The group of criminals immediately turned and fled, dragging their badly-singed boss along with them. (Don't worry, he didn't die, he just got a really big third-degree burn.)

The Koopa King laughed in triumph. "That's right, you fools! Mess with the Koopa King, and you get burned!"

"That-a was a lame pun..." Mario groaned as he facepalmed. But then, he and Bowser heard the sound of several helicopters, as well as sirens in the distance. Looking up, the duo saw several helicopters in the sky, a familiar figure leaning out of the lead copter...

"Hold it right there, Bowser!" Pauline shouted through a megaphone. "You're under arrest! We have you surrounded!"

"...Looks like you weren't the only one keeping an eye on me, plumber," Bowser grunted in annoyance, before shouting, "Hey Clown Car! Get over here!" Immediately Bowser's personal flight vehicle floated down..

"Oh-a no you don't!" Mario shouted as he ran up to his nemesis.

"Oh yes I do!" the Koopa King shot back. "And just to make sure you don't follow me..." He conjured a hammer in one hand, which he hurled at the lead helicopter, cracking the glass and causing Pauline to fall out!

"Oh no!" Mario cried as he dashed over and leapt, just managing to catch his ex-girlfriend before she hit the ground.

Meanwhile, Bowser had retrieved his Super Crown and purse, stuffing them into his Koopa Clown Car before lifting off. "Until we meet again, Mario! Bwa ha ha ha ha ha!"

"After him!" Pauline ordered, the remaining helicopters flying after the retreating Koopa, the damaged one having managed to land safely.

"Are-a you all right?" Mario asked as he set the mayor down.

"Thank you Mario, I'm fine," Pauline nodded as she stood up, dusting herself off. "I feel sorry that your vacation got off to such a bad start, though..."

"Don't-a worry, it-a happens all the time," the Italian shrugged. "Remind-a me to tell you about-a that-a one time when we went on-a vacation to Isle Delfino..."

*A few weeks later...*

"MARIO!" Peach's voice echoed through the castle.

"I'm-a coming!" the plumber answered, running through the halls to the princess' chamber. "Is-a something wrong?"

"Explain this to me," Peach said with a slightly upset expression, holding a large photograph in front of Mario's face.

"M... Mamma Mia..." the plumber's eyes went wide- it was the photo of Bowsette and himself together in New Donk City! "Peach! It's-a not-a what you think, I swear...!"

"For your sake, I should hope not," Peach growled back in an angry tone, causing Mario to start sweating profusely...

And in a foreboding stone castle a long distance away, the King of the Koopas laughed in triumph...

~*Fin*~