Chapter One

Back to the Start

June 25, 2016

Harry and Hermione walked hand in hand toward the chairs spread out in front of the stage. They sat down in their designated places and looked around with excited grins.

Ten-year-old James was running around the with his cousins and seven-year-old Minnie had run over and jumped into her father's lap.

"Daddy, when is Teddy coming out?"

Harry smiled fondly at his daughter, "Won't be long now little love. Are you excited?"

She grinned and quickly nodded her head, "I miss him so much! I can't wait to see him and give him the biggest hug ever!"

Hermione laughed at her little girl's enthusiasm, though she couldn't say anything because she was just as excited to see her boy. She smiled sadly to herself, Teddy hadn't been her little boy for some time now but she would always think of him as the little baby that he was.

Harry brushed her hair behind her ear and wiped a tear from her cheek.

"Mummy, why are you sad?" Minnie looked as concerned as her father.

"Oh, I'm alright sweetheart, just thinking about how Teddy isn't my little boy anymore. He's a young man now, and he'll be moving on to his next adventure."

"Not forever Mummy, he promised he would still visit."

Hermione smoothed Minnie's dark curls and nodded her head. Harry watched with a sad smile of his own before taking his wife's hand and squeezing it. He would miss Ted as well but her words stirred memories of how Teddy had been his next great adventure after the war. He remembered the moment when Teddy had brought Hermione into it with them and couldn't help the goofy grin that spread across his face.

Hermione noticed the change in his countenance and shook her head. "Do I want to know?" She asked with raised eyebrows.

Harry barked a laugh and leaned over to kiss her temple. "I was just thinking about when Ted was a wee little thing. How he screamed at all hours of the night and you had to come and save me."

She was laughing now at her own memories of those days. "You were quite pitiful love."

Harry looked back up toward the stage and let himself get lost in memories.

June 12, 1998

Harry walked quietly toward the cot in the corner of the nursery. He held his breath as he carefully laid the tiny boy on the mattress for what seemed like the tenth time that night. He stood there with his hands hovering over his Godson, hoping to Merlin that he stayed asleep this time.

When it seemed that Teddy was down for the night, Harry crept slowly and quietly out of the room leaving the door ajar.

He stood in the hallway, leaned against the wall and released a heavy sigh while he rubbed his bruised and bloodshot eyes.

No one had told him about this part. Everyone always carried on about how great babies are and how proud they were of him for taking the role of parent to his Godson. They did not tell him how much sleep he would lose and how out of control he would feel at times. They forgot to mention that this sweet little boy could scream at the top of his lungs for seemingly no reason whatsoever and for hours on end.

He was past the feeling of exhaustion and at that moment all he wanted was his bed. He sniffed at his shirt and wrinkled his nose, he needed a shower. When was the last time he'd had one? He honestly couldn't remember.

With his mind made up, he walked down the hall to his room and in his stupor hadn't heard the sound of the floo below.

"Harry?" Hermione called out as she walked through the floo at Grimmauld Place. She and Harry had planned to have lunch that afternoon but he had not shown.

She made her way up the stairs to check the nursery first. She knew that Harry had been quite busy with Teddy since moving the infant in with him. She peeked into the room but he wasn't there and didn't want to disturb the peaceful babe.

While she was upstairs she decided to try his bedroom before going back down to search the kitchen and library.

She knocked on his bedroom door and opened it a crack before calling out to him again.

He sounded surprised when he answered her, "'Mione? I'm in the shower, just...just give me a minute yeah?"

Having found him, she decided to go down and make tea while she waited. Hermione worried about her friend, it wasn't like him to forget their lunch plans, and he normally would have sent a note if he knew he wouldn't make it.

As she was getting everything placed on the table she heard his footsteps on the stairs.

"Hermione, what are you doing here?" He asked as he walked through the door.

"Oh, well, you missed our lunch and I hadn't heard from you so I wanted to come over and make sure you were alright."

Harry rubbed his eyes and sat heavily into the chair across from hers. "Shit, I'm sorry 'Mione, I completely forgot. It's been a long day."

Hermione looked up from pouring the tea and for the first time since getting there, noticed the state of him. He looked like he could collapse at any moment, "Merlin, Harry, are you alright?"

He looked at her with red, bloodshot eyes surrounded by dark circles. "I'm just really tired, 'Mione, don't worry about me."

About that time, a loud cry rang out above them and Harry physically deflated. He looked near tears and Hermione couldn't help herself. She wrapped him in a hug, kissed the top of his head and pushed his tea in front of him. "I'll go, you sit here and drink this. Oh, and I made sandwiches, eat."

Harry didn't even try to protest as he took a sandwich from the plate and drank his tea. He hadn't eaten since that morning and had just realized how hungry he was.

He tiredly muttered "thank you" as she left to tend to the baby.

Hermione walked into the nursery and looked down into the crib. Teddy was kicking his little legs and stretching his arms out while screaming as if he were miserable. The sound broke her heart and she scooped him into her arms to cradle him to her chest.

"There there, sweet boy, it's alright." She soothed as she rocked him in her arms. She began humming a song her mother used to sing to her when she was little and walked to the changing table. He was clean so she dressed him and walked back down to the kitchen with the upset baby.

"Harry, when was the last time he ate?" She asked as she walked into the kitchen.

"A couple of hours ago, he ate and then it took almost an hour for him to fall asleep. He's only been laying down for thirty minutes or so. You must have gotten here right as I laid him down."

"Alright. I'll make him a bottle, maybe he's hungry again."

She made the bottle as quickly as she could while holding the unhappy infant in her arms, and offered it to him. The boy latched on and began to suck only to spit it right back out and scream louder.

"Okay, darling. It's alright, I've got you, little love. Let's see if you need to burp, shall we? Mum always said you have to burp a baby after they've eaten."

Harry looked up, confused. "What?" He asked.

She looked over at her sleep deprived friend, "you have to burp him, Harry. After he's finished eating, you have to pat his back until he burps. Their tummies will hurt if you don't."

She pulled the baby's knees up and cradled his feet and bottom in one arm and patted his back while bouncing him. Almost immediately, Teddy burped loudly and was sick on her shoulder. He began to calm so Hermione switched him to her other shoulder and kept at it for a bit longer. He was asleep soon after and she moved to cradle him in her arms.

"'Mione...you've got…" Harry wrinkled his nose and pointed to her shoulder.

She laughed and shook her head. "Hand me that towel there." She pointed to a cloth sitting in Teddy's bag.

He gave it to her and she cleaned the sick off of her shoulder and from Teddy's face all while gently swaying and humming.

Harry was watching in awe, he had tried to do that for hours and she did it in five minutes!

"How?" He asked.

She smiled at her stunned friend, "just make sure you're feeding him every three hours or so. He'll let you know when he's hungry. Burp him when he's halfway through a bottle and then again when he's finished it. Oh, and keep his diaper clean and dry."

He laid his head on his arms and she heard a muffled reply, "I don't know if I can do this 'Mione."

"You can Harry, I promise. Being a parent isn't easy, but you are fully capable of being a father to this little boy. You know I'm here to help if you need it, and Ginny should know all of this. You can always fire call me or Molly if Gin isn't here."

It was at that moment that she realized that she hadn't seen Ginny. "Where is Gin anyway? I thought she might have been asleep or visiting her mum, but it's getting late." She said while sitting down.

He looked at her and she could see the pain in his eyes. "She's not here, we had a bit of a row and she went to her mum's"

"Oh, Harry I'm sorry. Maybe she just needed time away, I bet she'll have a talk with Molly and calm down. It'll be alright."

"I don't know 'Mione, I don't think so." He said sadly.

"Did she break up with you?" She asked, surprised. Harry shrugged his shoulders and Hermione could see the pain in his eyes.

"I don't know what she expected 'Mione, I'm his Godfather. She knew he had nowhere to go, that Andromeda wasn't able to take care of him. I wasn't going to abandon him, did she think I could do that?" His voice was pleading.

So Ginny left because of Teddy? "Harry, I don't know what to say...oh love I'm so sorry." She reached across the table and squeezed his hand.

She could not believe it and she had to admit that she was feeling pretty indignant on his behalf. Harry didn't deserve this!

"You did the right thing taking Teddy in Harry. Try to talk to her okay? Maybe she just needs some reassurance."

Harry just nodded his head and laid it back down. He was so tired of being everything for everyone and it never being enough.

"'Mione, could you stay? I'm dead tired and I honestly don't think I can get up in two hours to feed him again."

Hermione stood up and walked around the table. She ran her fingers through her friend's messy hair, lightly massaging his scalp. "Of course, c'mon and get up. I'll stay as long as you need."

She followed him up the stairs and walked back into the nursery while he went to his room. She laid Teddy down and then transfigured the rocking chair into a small bed. Harry walked in a moment later with a pillow and the extra blanket from his bed.

Hermione smiled warmly at her dearest friend. "Thanks, now go on and sleep. It's Friday night, I expect you to stay in that bed until you can't sleep anymore."

He didn't argue and kissed her cheek before heading back to his room. He was fast asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow.

June 13, 1998

Harry opened his eyes feeling better than he had in weeks. He could tell that morning had long passed by the amount of sunlight pouring through the curtains and decided he'd better get up and find Teddy.

He climbed out of bed and rummaged through the blankets to find the t-shirt he had discarded at some point in the night.

Walking down the stairs, he could hear Hermione talking in an exaggerated cheerful voice followed by gurgles and coos from his Godson. A smile spread across his face and he picked up his pace to see what she and Ted were up to.

When he walked into the kitchen he first saw his Godson laying in a baby swing, smiling and happily kicking his arms and legs. Hermione was at the stove making what looked like toasted cheese sandwiches and had not noticed his arrival.

"Who is the sweetest little boy around? Who is it? Is it Teddy? Are you the sweetest little boy around?" She asked, and Teddy began gurgling again.

When she turned around and saw his raised eyebrows and silly grin, she stuck out her tongue at him.

"Don't you look at me like that Harry James Potter, he thinks I'm hilarious." She said haughtily and turned back to the stove.

Harry laughed and walked over to Teddy. "Is 'Mione funny mate? She is being quite silly isn't she."

The boy gave him a gummy smile.

Turning back to the woman in question he asked, "how was he last night? Did everything go okay?"

She smiled at him and began plating up their lunch. "Everything was fine Harry. I put up a silencing charm so we wouldn't wake you. He got up at three and six to eat and have a change. He went back to sleep and I stayed up, I had some reading I wanted to do so I took down the charm on your room and went home to grab my books. He never stirred and I was able to read while he slept. Around nine he was ready to eat again so I made him a bottle.

They sat down to eat lunch and Hermione filled him in on how her summer was going. She explained that she was helping with the clean up at Hogwarts and that Professor McGonagall thought the school would be ready in time for the term to begin.

She asked about his plans for the future, saying that she had spoken with Professor McGonagall and decided to take all of her NEWT courses at home. Harry was proud of her but he knew he couldn't go back to Hogwarts. Kingsley had offered him admission into the Auror Training Program and he had accepted immediately.

Their conversation moved from plans for their futures to their other best friend and Hermione stared at the table. She had broken off their relationship two weeks ago and Ron was still not speaking to her. She missed her friend but after the things he had said to her, she couldn't say she was ready to see him yet.

Harry noticed the change in his friend's countenance and decided that a subject change was in order.

"Have you been to Diagon yet? I went the other day to see how the joke shop was looking. I'm not sure when George will get back to it but it looked like it hadn't been bothered."

"I'm happy to hear that the shop wasn't damaged. I actually went by Flourish and Blotts to get a book for light reading on Ancient Runes yesterday. It turns out that Mr. Blotts is looking to sell the shop, can you believe that? He was saying that he had worked long past retirement and his wife was ready for him to let the shop go."

She smiled wistfully, it was adorable how much Mr. Blotts loved his wife. "Anyway, he told me that he was looking for someone who would love and care for the books the way that he and Mr. Flourish always had. Of course, I told him that he would be greatly missed and that I hoped that he could find someone quickly and do you know what he said?"

Harry smiled fondly at her rambling and shook his head.

She rolled her eyes at him and told him, "he said I should buy the shop, Harry! Me, owning Flourish and Blotts! I mean, I love books, obviously and it has always been a dream of mine to one day own a bookshop, but I'm planning to finish my education! I planned my NEWTS around my goal to work at the Ministry!"

"Hermione, slow down. I know you always saw yourself at the Ministry, rallying for magical creatures and changing archaic laws but will you honestly be happy there?"

She thought about it for a moment. It had been her goal for so many years to work at the Ministry and she thought it would make her happy, but her recent experiences had her less enthused. She didn't care for the idea of working in any department within the Ministry of Magic. She would have to seriously consider all of her options.

She shrugged her shoulders and he could see the uncertainty written on her face.

"Well for what it's worth, I think that you would love owning a bookshop. You would be able to show off all of your swottiness and talk about your favorite books with the other swots. Win, win."

She slapped his arm and laughed. "You're such a git."

She got up and took their dishes to the sink and charmed them to wash.

"Are you ready to have some lunch handsome?" She asked Teddy while taking him out of the swing.

She peppered his cheeks with kisses before handing him over to Harry. "I'll make his bottle, you want to go to the sitting room?"

"Yeah, let's go little guy." Harry took Teddy into the sitting room and sat on the couch.

Hermione walked in a few minutes later, bottle in hand and sat next to the boys. She gave Harry the bottle and draped a burp cloth over his shoulder.

She watched as Harry carefully laid the fussy baby in his arms and put the bottle to his mouth.

"Harry, I know you've been overwhelmed and exhausted, but you're a natural. Teddy is so lucky to have you."

"Thanks 'Mione. He's something else, I love him so much already. How is that possible?"

"Because he's your son Harry, He isn't your flesh and blood, but he is yours."

Hermione gathered her books and journals and packed them into her satchel.

"Harry, do you want me to stay a little longer?"

"Do you mind? I would really appreciate the help."

"No of course not, just let me get some clothes from my house and I'll be back. He should sleep for a little while longer."

"Alright, hey how about pizza for dinner?"

Hermione nodded, "Sounds great, I'll be back in a few minutes."

Harry walked into the sitting room where Teddy was still fast asleep in his playpen. He sat down on the couch and picked up one of the books he was reading for his upcoming training. He was nervous but looking forward to getting started in a few months.

He looked up from his book at the sleeping bundle across from him. He'd only had Teddy for a few weeks and somehow it felt as if he had always belonged to Harry. Andromeda had tried to take care of him but losing Ted and then Tonks and Remus had been too much for her.

Andromeda had shown up at Grimmauld Place with a baby bag slung over her shoulder looking worn and desperate for Harry to step in. At nearly eighteen, he hadn't thought that he was ready to take on fatherhood. Those thoughts changed the moment he had taken the tiny two-month-old from his grandmother's arms. From the moment he looked into those blue eyes, Teddy was his and he had agreed without hesitation.

Of course, that was before the sleep deprivation, the complete and total sense of helplessness and the loss of the woman who he thought would stick with him for the rest of his days. He didn't regret his decision, he just questioned if he was capable of handling fatherhood so much sooner than he had planned.

Ginny had been gone for a week, it had taken two weeks with Teddy for her to decide that this life wasn't for her. He was sure she would return to Hogwarts and take her NEWTS, but she'd be focused on Quidditch. She was hoping she would get scouted by the Holyhead Harpies and he supported that, but her attitude toward Teddy concerned him. The life he wanted to build with her included children someday and it hurt to know that even without Teddy, she may not have wanted the same thing.

He had learned from the last seven years of his life that time is precious. He would savor every minute, even the minutes of shrill screaming, because they're over in a flash and you can't get them back. He wished Ginny would be with him for every moment but if she didn't return, he would have to move on. He and Teddy would keep going, one day at a time

Harry returned his attention to the book now resting in his lap. He heard the floo roar to life and the sound of Hermione dropping her bags down next to the fireplace.

He quirked an eyebrow, just how much did she bring?

"I wasn't sure how long you might need me so...I may have packed everything," she said hesitantly.

Harry shook his head and stood up to take her things to her old room. "Hermione, you know you're always welcome here. You were the one who chose to move back into your parent's house."

She frowned thinking about her parents, Harry hadn't asked about them and she knew he was waiting for her to bring them up. She hadn't checked on them yet, knowing they were safe in Australia but she held hope that soon she could find them and restore their memories.

"I didn't want to intrude, Harry. You and Ginny were finally together again and I assumed you both would want time alone."

Harry looked at her over his shoulder with a grimace, "Yes well, you see how well that worked out."

"Harry, don't be like that. She's seventeen, she has two things on her mind and being a mother is not one of them."

"So you agree with her leaving then?" He asked slightly harsher than he intended.

"That's not what I'm saying at all. I understand that at her age she had not planned on being a mother but I don't agree with her leaving you because of it. Teddy being here, while unexpected, isn't going to ruin her chance to play Quidditch professionally. You really need to talk with her Harry, don't let her slip through your fingers if she's who you truly want."

"I know 'Mione, I'll talk to her."

Hermione smiled smugly, "good, you should do it today and I will watch Teddy."

Harry couldn't help feeling like this was an order and not a suggestion and decided he might as well go along with it.

The two friends left all of Hermione's bags and her trunk in the room she used to share with Ginny and then went back to the sitting room.

"Thank you, Harry, I really appreciate you letting me stay. You have to promise me that you'll tell me to move out though if my being here becomes an issue."

Harry scoffed, "Okay Hermione," he said in a placating tone. He rolled his eyes, that would not be happening. She was his best friend, he would never tell her to leave. She had done so much for him, letting her live with him while her parents were still in Australia was the least he could do.

After hearing Hermione's advice, Harry finally forced himself through the floo to the Burrow.

Hermione had suggested he have dinner there and talk to Ginny after. He had hoped Hermione and Teddy would join them but knew that Ron wasn't in the best place now.

Their friend had clung to his relationship with Hermione like a life raft and Hermione just felt pulled down. She wanted to help him through his grief but she couldn't do that as his girlfriend. Hermione had told him how Ron had wanted to bury his grief by taking their very new relationship to the next level. She had told him that she wasn't ready and he had bitten back with cutting words and petulance. She had ended things soon after.

Harry walked into the kitchen full of red-heads and allowed himself to smile at the familiar scene.

"Harry! What a pleasant surprise dear, come in!" Molly pulled Harry into a fierce hug and he relished in the comfort only a mother could offer.

"Are you alright dear?" Molly asked.

"I'm not going to lie, I'm exhausted. I'm not sure how you did it Molly but I appreciate all the work you do much more now."

Molly laughed and patted his cheek affectionately, "I'm sure you are doing a wonderful job and you know you can call on me anytime you need help."

"Thank you, Molly," Harry said and looked over toward the table. He caught the blue eyes he had fallen in love with and smiled. She had watched the exchange quietly and looked resigned.

He walked over to his girlfriend and bent down to place a kiss on her cheek but she tilted her head down and his lips landed on her temple. He felt his eyes begin to burn at her rejection but he wouldn't lose it here in front of his chosen family. He straightened up, her message received and went to the empty chair across the table not missing the sad looks on the other's faces.

He would still try to talk to her but that one moment had made her feelings clear. She would not be coming home.

Hermione looked around her room happily. The space that had once been dark and shabby with two small beds, was now bright and airy. Her queen size bed sat in the middle of the room, a small chest of drawers sat to one side and a side table sat on the other. She had used a reparo on the old armoire in the corner and filled it with all of her clothing, leaving her trunk at the end of her bed.

"Now for the books..." She thought about the furniture in the other unused rooms of the house trying to remember if there were any bookshelves she could move.

That was how Harry found her, standing in her room with a pensive look on her face.

"Wow, 'Mione! This looks great!"

Startled out of her thoughts she whipped her head around, hand clutching her chest. "Harry Potter! You scared me."

He laughed and walked further into the room, "I think I need you to do my room next, this is so much nicer than that dungeon I sleep in."

She smiled and agreed before walking out into the hall. She grabbed his hand, pulling him down the stairs to the kitchen.

"Teddy is sleeping, he'll probably be up again in an hour though so tell me all about your dinner while I eat my pizza."

The two sat down at the table and while Hermione pulled the pizza box toward her he started. "Well, dinner was delicious as always..."

Hermione's eyebrows rose slowly as she watched his face. "Harry...she didn't..."

"She made it very clear that she felt like there wasn't a future for us. She said we wanted different things and it would be best if we were just friends."

"Did she even listen to what you had to say?" Hermione felt shocked, this girl had claimed to love Harry from the time she was ten years old!

"She heard what I had to say 'Mione, but she admitted that she hadn't really thought about whether she wanted children until Teddy was living with us. She told me that at this point in her life she doesn't see herself having children for a very long time, if at all."

Hermione frowned, "I'm sorry, Harry. I don't have the answers love, but I'm here for you."

Harry sat quietly for a minute thinking over her words. He couldn't help but feel comforted by her simple statement because no words had ever been truer. Hermione was his one constant, no matter what happened he knew she would be there for him always.