Chapter 1: Forced

The sky is only just beginning to grey as I arrive at the Hob in my blue Reaping dress. I wish I was in my hunting gear, but Mother had set out those clothes to wash. And I can't afford to miss a day of hunting.

The best market for the Hob is actually just before sunrise. Not many hunters or traders know this, but it's true. You are guaranteed to make a bargain, even more than at high noon, because all the miners gather in the Hob for breakfast just before going down into the depths for a day's work.

I see many of these miners mingling in the black market as I enter, and more than one of them turn their heads when they see me in my blue Reaping dress. I avert my eyes self-consciously. I do not like these men's attentions, no matter whether it comes with the territory of living in District 12, the poorest district in Panem. I should not be made to consider frivolous things like romance or marriage or sex or childbirth when I am only 17 years old.

I take a seat at Greasy Sae's stall. She has always been one of my favorite clients. As I dig into my bowl of soup, I feel a presence collapse onto the stool beside me.

"Morning, Katniss."

I turn my head and nod in acknowledgement. "Morning, Thom."

Thom Borden is my age, and one of the youngest miners on the digging crew. Technically, district law stipulates that no man or woman is to enter the mines until they turn 18, but the Bordens are from a long line of miners. And from what I've heard, Thom already shows promise and skill at the profession. Everyone says he has a bright future ahead of him in the business.

"Got your hunt already in? Or will you go again?"

I shrug noncommittally. "I probably will. Bag some squirrels. The Baker loves them."

Thom chuckles. "Trading with Merchants? You're braver than I am!"

"They're not all bad," I try to defend. And it's true, the Baker is a kind man. His wife is an entirely different story.

"Miners! Fall out!" The Foreman bellows.

Around us, I watch as miners fall into the arms of their spouses, sharing passionate kisses and loving looks. In this business, it is an open question whether all of the miners present here will make it home for dinner.

As I stand off of my stool, I hear Thom ask, "How about one for luck?" His question makes me turn.

"Excuse me?" I gawp, but before I can react further, Thom has pressed my body up against his, pressing me against the stall, as he takes my face in his hands and kisses me full on the mouth. "Mmmm!" I squeak into his mouth, muffled, my eyes wide.

The kiss lasts for a moment, two, before ending just as quickly as it began. Thom smiles, turns on his heel and walks away. I stand there, speechless, long after the miners have filed out.

Despite having my first kiss wrenched from me, I continue to make early-morning trades at the Hob. And I continue to encounter Thom.

The second time he kisses me, I push him away.

The third time he kisses me, I slap him good and hard.

The fourth time he kisses me, he gropes my ass and my breasts.

The fifth time he kisses me, I kiss him back, hoping that might appease him. It doesn't.

The sixth time he kisses me, he pins me against the nearest stall, throws me onto the counter, and has his way with me for a good, solid fuck. I lie there, exhausted from fighting to no avail, as he rapes me.

One evening, weeks later, I come home from hunting to find my mother staring at me with a glance that almost resembles pity. That is when she takes me aside and tells me she has agreed to give Thom Borden my hand in marriage. I cry, scream at her that this is unfair, because it is. From the way Mother refuses to meet my gaze, she knows it is too. She knows my opinions on not wanting to get married, ever. But to give me away to Thom Borden, of all men. We're only 17!

"It is time for you to grow up, Katniss," she tells me as firmly as she can. "You must be a wife and a mother. I have to know that you will be taken care of."

She will not budge on this. I am doomed.

Mother requests that I wear her Merchant wedding dress to get married in. For the more civil ceremony at the Justice Building, I sign the marriage license in my blue Reaping dress, feeling as though a gun is pointed against the back of my head.

I marry Thom Borden in my mother's living room, and we Toast a bit of bread by the fire. Thom takes me in his arms roughly. I refuse to cry, as I tilt my head and permit my new husband to kiss me. He kisses me rather sloppily, shoving his tongue down my throat and audaciously feeling me up in front of my family.

And just like that, I am Mrs. Katniss Borden.

That night, in our assigned house, in our marriage bed, Thom fucks me long and hard and without mercy.

Every morning, I now rise to hunt and cook my husband breakfast. I see Thom off to work, when he indecently kisses me goodbye. It is with great disappointment that he kisses me just as indecently every evening upon his return, with supper waiting on the table. The hardest sunsets are when he comes home alive after a mine collapse or fire. I almost wish that the man I married is among the dead, in these instances.

So, I find it a relief, almost, when the following summer, I am Reaped at age 18 for the 76th Annual Hunger Games. District 12 has only produced two champions in this annual fight to the death. And our most recent Victor is from decades ago and a slobbering drunk besides. Haymitch Abernathy will be of no help to me in the arena, and I don't want him to be anyway. I'm as good as dead.

Thom of course comes to say goodbye to me. He kisses me farewell, one last time, and I actually return the kiss, not wanting to upset him. He ruins the moment by trying to have sex with me right there in the holding room. I practically have to shove him into the Peacekeepers' custody when they come to collect him.

When Mother and Primrose come visit me, I have pretty much resigned myself to the fact that I am going to die in the arena. But something my baby sister says makes me take pause. Through tears, she begs, "Just try to win, if you can!"

And I know, because of Prim - the one person whom I am certain I love - I'll have to.

A/N: I have NEVER struggled this much in writing a chapter. Writing about this subject matter, especially the day after Christine Blasey Ford's testimony…. If this chapter disgusts you, good. It should. That is what it was designed to do. It disgusts me too. Women should NEVER be treated this way, or in the way that Dr. Ford was.