Written: 2020/02/28.

Hey.

Hey. If... if, uh, if Grey Fox had a favorite article of clothing... what, what would it be?

"..."

Grey Fox... Grey Fox would love... grey socks! HAHAHAHA! COMEDY GOLD!

"...really? You get back to working on this story and that's what you start with?"

The current setting was in one of Bowser's... uh, Bowsette's many castles, this time within the third world. After having moved on from the second world, our group of heroines... uh, villains, were now supposedly discussing who to put in charge of the third world.

But, uh, yeah. That's what I decided to do to bring back this story.

The one currently arguing, Princess Booette, scowled. "That doesn't even make sense here! This is a Mario fanfiction, it would've made more sense if we were in the Super Smash Brothers fandom, at least! ...right? Grey Fox appeared in there, right? Like, a trophy, or... something..."

Yeah, I wouldn't know, I don't keep track of that stuff.

Bowsette, meanwhile, scratched her head. "Uh, glad to see you enjoying conversation, buddy, but let's not derail our important meeting here," she said to her ally.

Princess Booette glared at the princessified turtle... dragon... thing. "Are you really telling me that I'm the one getting in the way of progress?"

"Uh, I mean, yeah, sorta."

"Yeah! If Lord Bowser says so, then you're the one disrupting our progress!" Petal the Sakura Yoshiette chimed.

Upon the ghost hissing at her, the princessified reptile... the, uh, not-king reptile, decided to wisely keep her mouth shut.

"You guys are literally just comparing your Pokemon card collection! What fucking progress are we making!?"

"Whoa, chill, girl," one of the captives, Daisy, said. "Jeez, no wonder Luigi's not fond of you."

"You shut your dirty, rotten mouth, Princess Dipshit!" Booette screeched.

"Whohohoa! That was good," Bowsette mused.

Daisy rolled her eyes. "Good but weak."

Booette glared at her again, before whipping her head back to Daisy. "Listen here, you whelp! Right now, you're our prisoner! Our captive! You might think the others are going to treat you nicely or some of that stupid eeny meeny miny moe crap, but I'm a true tyrant! With just one motion, I can make you suffer!"

"...eeny eeny miny moe?" Peach, tied up right next to Daisy, asked.

"I need time to think of actual good insults," Booette explained.

"Well, sure, whatever you say," Daisy said. "Still not scaring me though. Empty threats are just empty threats."

"Bitch, watch what you say," Booette said. "Piss me off anymore, and I'll mess you up so badly, LouLou would rather come to my side instead."

The two actual princesses exchanged glances. "...LouLou?" Daisy said.

"Daisy, don't tell me you were cheating on Luigi and seeing another man. Who's this LouLou!?"

"I didn't! I don't even- Peach, what the hell! You know I wouldn't do that!" Daisy replied.

"That's what I thought until you showed how gay you were, droolin' all over Bowser's girl body!" Peach retorted.

"T-that was just because her body was hot! I'm not saying I'd cheat, I mean-"

"Shut uuuup!" Booette yelled.

Bowsette snickered. "What a mess."

"...hm." Toadette looked back, staring at Nabbit with a small amount of curiosity and a slightly larger amount of suspicion.

"What's-a matter, Toadette?" Luigi asked.

The (supposedly) female Toad, who was currently in her Peachette form, shrugged. "I dunno, just... that guy gives me bad vibes."

"That's preposterous!" Nabbit said. "I don't give anyone bad vibes! Why, my job is to give people bad vibes!"

"...is the guy high?" Yellow Toad whispered to Mario. "I feel like dude's high."

Nabbit was taken aback. "That is just rude, Yellow!" he said. "Why would you accuse me of such nefarious deeds!? Remember our friendship that we never had!"

"Bro, your friend's-a certainly... an interesting one," Mario noted.

"Yeah, he's-a kinda weird like that," Luigi said. "But he's really amazing at-a dodging, I tell ya."

"I certainly doubt that," Yellow Toad said.

Luigi gave him a confused stare. "You were-a there too, with Blue and me, and Nabbit, when Mario was on-a vacation. Remember?"

"Yeah, Yellow," Toadette chimed with a snicker. "What's the matter? Losing your memories? Would make sense if you had a brain to store memories in the first place."

"Well, I just..." Yellow Toad blinked, then turned to Mario. "I don't like her, she's bullying me."

Mario sighed. I feel like a babysitter...

"So anyways, where we headed to, fellas?" Nabbit asked.

"Uh, we just-a finished the last castle of Acorn Plains ten minutes ago, so..." Mario looked ahead. "We should be nearing the borders of Layer-Cake Desert."

"Cake, huh?" Toadette said, licking her lips. "I want cake."

Yellow Toad scoffed. "Better you don't. Stars know how heavier you can get," he muttered.

Mario and Luigi paled as Toadette stopped in her tracks.

"What did you say?" the original intended recipient of the Super Crowns said.

"Oh, boy, fucked up again, didn't I..." Yellow Toad grumbled.

"You sure did!" Nabbit said.

As the two Italian brothers watched the following friendly-fire onslaught, they sighed to themselves.

Those two will kill each other before we rescue the princess... the two thought.

What a funny lot, Nabbit thought.

"Look, I'm not saying that you shouldn't care about the Ultra Beasts," Petal said, "but if you actually thought for a second, these old cards can actually get you a lot of profit!"

In front of her, Magna the Banzai Bullet...ette...? Uh, princessified, scoffed. "I know what you're saying, kid! But I'm not too bothered by money issues. I just want what I think looks neat!"

"And that's fine! Get your Pheromosa card if you want!" Petal replied. "But don't just go around trading your ancient old cards for these new, not as precious, Ultra Beasts cards! Sell them! And then buy the ones you want later!"

"But I might not even get what I want if I went for buying normally!"

Booette raised an eyebrow, glancing over to Bowsette. "Progress, huh?"

"Hey, the economy of our kingdom ain't no matter to laugh at," the Koopa king... queen, replied.

"Economy doesn't specifically revolve around Pokemon cards, you twat!" Booette roared.

"Don't judge other kingdoms' economy structure," Daisy said.

"Like you know any better, you gay pansy!"

Peach cringed. "Whoa, careful now. You can't use 'gay' as an insult anymore, it's 2020."

"Yeah, Miss Boo. Keep up with the times, why don't'cha?" Daisy chimed.

The ghost princess gritted her teeth, rage emanating from her fists. "I'm this close to beating you up right now..." she muttered.

"You crook! Don't hurt a woman!" Daisy yelled. "This is why almost all of you men are always savages! Luigi's an exception."

"Uh, Princess Daisy?" Chompie the Chain Chompette (with golden chains) said. "Princess Queen Boo's... a woman."

"Super Crown, darling," Daisy said. "It's actually King Boo."

"Oh."

"Uh, anyways," Bowser Jr. interrupted, "that's nice and all, but... how much longer are we staying here?" he asked. "Sorry, Da... Mom, but I feel like... well, those Mario brothers might be getting a bit too... good at this. Can't believe Lemmy already lost..."

Bowsette chuckled. "Aww. It's alright, son." She gave her son a pet on the head. ...is it 'pet' or 'pat'? It's always bothered me. "Anyways, yeah, we should probably hurry this up, shouldn't we? Hey, Petal, Magna! Let's get back on track."

"Never was on the actual track of progress..." Booette muttered.

Meanwhile, Petal and Magna turned to their queen.

"S-sorry!" Petal squeaked, pocketing her trading cards.

"Eh, sure," Magna said and pocketed hers as well.

Peach blinked. "Wait, if they've only been turned into princesses recently, how do they already have their own Pokemon cards?" she asked.

Now that's a good question.

"Like hell it is," Booette said.

Stop complaining, Bing Koo.

"..."

"..."

"..."

...stop complaining, King Boo.

"Why does he even leave these mistakes into the story at all?" Wendy whispered.

"I dunno, but I want some of that whatever stuff he's high on," Roy said.

Your kids are rude, 'sette.

"Pft, naw. They're adorable," Bowsette said. "And who can blame them? They've got the best dad in the world right here."

"Mom."

"Yeah, mom," the royal Koopa corrected.

"Uh, don't we have more important things to be discussing?" Booette said.

"Oh, right. Third world, Sparkling Waters. Any volunteers?" Bowsette asked.

Everyone exchanged glances.

"...well, except you, Larry. You're in charge of the boss castle there."

"Yeayuh!" the Koopaling cheered.

"Hmm... what if we find someone new again, to become the midboss?" Petal asked.

Bowsette rubbed her chin. "Hmm... sounds fair enough, but that'd take time, and considering how fast those pesky plumbers are being this round..."

"Yeah, takes too long," Booette said.

"Nobody asked you for your opinion!" Petal hissed.

"Actually, we're asking everyone's opinions," Chompie said.

"Nobody asked for your opinion!"

Daisy snickered. "Can't believe we're being kidnapped by these dysfunctional goons, am I right?" she whispered to Peach.

"Happens to me way too often for me to be surprised, actually," the Mushroom Kingdom princess replied.

"Huh. That makes sense, I suppose."

Booette sighed. "Oh, great. Now our hostages are doubting our power."

"To be fair, we do have an amazing number of losses on our records," Bowsette said.

"That's not something to be impressed by!" The ghost looked around the room, before settling on Magna. "You!"

"What up, ghost lady?" Magna said.

"...you! You're the midboss for Sparkling Waters. End of discussion!"

The princessified giant bullet blinked. "Wait, what?"

"You heard me!" Booette said. "We're not getting anywhere, and we're in a hurry, so no talk backs!"

"But I can't swim!" Magna said. "I can't... I can't even breathe underwater! I've been flying my entire life as a Banzai Bill!"

"Yeah, well, sucks to be you."

Peach blinked. "Uh, darling, I don't think you need to be able to breathe underwater to, well, stay underwater."

"...are you really a princess of a kingdom?" Magna asked.

"No, she's right," Daisy said. "I mean, how else do you think everyone stays underwater for so long without even coming up for air?" she asked. "Actually, what even gave you the idea that you need to be able to breathe underwater in order to... well, breathe underwater?"

The black haired Peach-ified enemy blinked. "...because it's... underwater?" she asked. "Am I... am I missing something here?"

"I'm equally confused, don't ask me," Petal said.

"Uh, so, for simplest terms, let's just say that's how the Bowserverse works," Bowsette said. "Anyone can breathe underwater."

Magna tilted her head, clearly confused. "Uh... are you sure?"

"Yeah, even I've been traveling underwater for years."

Peach raised an eyebrow. "Bowserverse?"

"Sounds a lot better than Marioverse," Bowsette explained. "Besides, I'm going to rule over the entire universe anyways. Why not, am I right?"

"You're always right, Lord Bowser!" Chompie and Petal chimed.

Booette cleared her throat, getting everyone's attention. "You all do remember that the entire area of Sparkling Waters isn't underwater, but just around water, right?"

"...oh yeah, right. Never mind that," Magna said. "I think I can probably handle this, then."

"...actually, can I be the midboss instead?" Chompie said, her hand raised.

Bowsette smiled. "Ooh, a volunteer. What's the occasion?"

"I've, um... never really been given the chance to enjoy life much," she said. "So, I've... actually never been underwater before... but now that Lord Bowser has given me this body..." Chompie smiled brightly. "I'd... I'd like to try this action called 'swimming'!"

Cute, Bowsette thought.

Cute, Daisy thought.

Cute, Booette thought. Wait, no, not right now. "Uh, sure. Then we're putting the Chain Chomp as the midboss for Sparkling Waters. Any complaints?"

Nobody said anything, some simply shrugging.

"Good. End of discussion! Let's move on so we can quickly get to the final world."

"Huh," Daisy huffed. "I thought you'd want to ambush Mario and Luigi."

Booette rolled her eyes. "I did, but this dimwit refuses to because of some stupid honor code. Remember?"

"Aw, thanks," Bowsette said, chuckling modestly.

"That wasn't a compliment."

"Hey, author, I have a question," Toadette said.

Yeah?

"Weren't you in the middle of rewriting this story?" she asked. "Like... up to Chapter 5 right now?"

Yeah, I am.

The pink capped Toad (currently lost her Super Crown because of some random stupid Pokey) rubbed her chin. "Then, wouldn't it be pretty confusing to update with a Chapter 19 right now, while you're also rewriting Chapter 6?"

Uh... huh. I don't think so. The rewrites don't really add much new content, so it should be fine.

"Wait, weren't you also writing these on-a AO3?" Luigi asked.

I am, yes.

"And you're only posting-a new, rewritten chapters there, aren't you?"

Yeah? What're you getting at?

Luigi and Toadette exchanged glances. "Well, how're you going to, well, post this chapter on there, then?"

Oh, that's simple. I won't.

Yellow Toad, his face currently beaten up black and blue, twitched. "...yhu vhon'dt?"

What?

"He's asking if you really won't," Mario said.

Oh. Yeah, I mean... it'd be confusing as hell. Plus, I'm more focused on other stuff on AO3 right now.

"Like what?" Toadette asked.

Oh, you know, the more... adult stuff.

Nabbit snickered. "Whohohoa, we got a dirty little rascal over here, fellas."

I don't need to be lectured on what I write right now.

But yeah, I'll catch up on AO3 with the rewrites eventually, and then upload the real ones starting from this Chapter 19.

Eventually.

"...well, that asides, another question," Toadette asked.

Sure, go ahead, shoot for the skies.

"...not sure what that was, but okay." She then pulled out another Super Crown out of who knows where, and put it on, reverting (transforming) to her Peachette form. "Are you just going to continue writing scene switches like this, as we progress the story adaption of Deluxe U?"

"It'th U Dhelugks," Yellow Toad corrected.

"Want me to correct your face for you?"

"Sthorry."

Yikes. Uh, well, I was planning exactly just that, but then I realized-

"It'd get boring and repetitive pretty fast if you don't show actual plot?"

Yeah, that.

"What, so, does that-a mean we're going to be getting more-a focus from now on?" Luigi asked.

I guess so. And maybe more notable events, like, I dunno, more team-ups and more cameos and... stuff.

Mario rubbed his chin. "Huh."

"...well, okay then," Toadette said. "Was just wondering. Wouldn't want the readers to miss out on my awesome skills after all."

Noob violent gorilla skills, Yellow Toad mentally corrected.

Toadette glared at him.

Uh oh, did I... "Whath?"

"Nothing. Just thought there'd be another witty remark from you."

"Nho ma'amb."

"Good."

Nabbit stared. Toads sure have become quite a funny race. Then he rubbed his chin. Wait, was that racist?

Not really, I... maybe? I dunno.

Okay, good.

And so the group of now-five moved on, finally entering the realm of the second worl: Layer-Cake Desert!

...with more promised action and drama to come the following chapters, because this chapter is getting long, and this story isn't supposed to have chapters that are long.

"Justh end dhe chabtur alfveathy..." Yellow Toad grumbled, his face still hurting.

Will do, friend.