As children, monsters under the bed or in the closet seem scary because you can't see them; you don't know if they're actually there. But as an adult, sometimes you're not sure whether you should be afraid of what's right in front of you. As an adult, monsters aren't always as they may seem.

Sometimes, what's scariest in life isn't that which threatens you, but that which threatens what you care about most.

As an ice harvester, Kristoff learned the number one rule early on of being out on the ice, where frostbite could set in like a deadly disease or the ice could splinter and shatter below you and send you plummeting to an early death: if something seems dangerous, don't risk it; don't go near it. Just stay away.

That first night after the coronation and The Thaw, Kristoff dreamed of glimmering walls of ice. He dreamed of feeling an unnatural chill in his bones and hearing Anna's grunt of pain as ice pierced her heart. He watched her stumble and fall to her knees as her hair turned white, and he saw the veins of ice slowly freezing underneath her skin. And finally, he saw the image of ice-blue eyes meeting his in a piercing stare, the hands that dealt the would-be fatal blow clenched and trembling. He woke with a start, drenched in sweat yet a cold, chilling grip around his heart. Anna's sister.

And he thought maybe he should stay away from that, too.

Nearly two weeks after The Thaw, Kristoff has seen Elsa a handful of times. Never more than a few minutes, typically- a quick glance here and there in the hallways of the castle, upon picking Anna up from the Queen's office to go for a picnic, and even once when she came to retrieve Olaf from a playdate with Sven.

Yet Kristoff finds that he is still waiting.

He is waiting for Elsa to mention the events of her coronation day and what she put them through.

He is waiting for an explanation. For the snow monster, for throwing them off a cliff, for striking Anna and for killing her sister.

He is waiting for an apology. And he realizes after too much silence that he is probably never going to get one.

Elsa hates this, the not knowing.

All her life she has been trained to know things.

She knows how to dip into the perfect curtsy and knows exactly what level of respect each degree of a bow bestows upon the recipient. She knows the proper greetings and lines of expected conversation when speaking to a diplomat, general, or fellow royal like herself.

She knows the name and lineage of every ruler on the same continent and their families going back three generations, at the minimum. She knows the wars they've waged and their outcomes, their top exports and imports and the going rates for all of them.

She knows the laws of her land better than she knows her own birthday.

But she hates herself for not knowing how to address the rather large elephant in the room.

What she did- to Anna, to Kristoff, to her kingdom – it is inexcusable. She can't fathom how she's still been permitted to keep her title, to walk around freely, to be alive. But she is, and while she can write letters to the neighboring countries in apology for their experience during her coronation, and while she can send funds to the people of her nation to help bear the brunt of the damage her unnatural winter caused, she cannot figure out how to bring up what happened in conversation and apologize for it. Because an apology will never suffice - it will never be enough for what she did.

She's tried to bring it up. Countless times, the words right on the tip of her tongue when she sees Kristoff. But then her hands start to shake, her heart begins to pound in her chest all the way up to her ears and her tongue gets stuck in her throat and by the time she recovers it's too late to say anything at all.

On the first day after The Thaw, Kristoff meets Anna just off of the docks overlooking the water of the fjord- he doesn't feel ready to enter the castle just yet, despite her invitation. He can't quite put his finger on what's holding him back- is it uncertainty, discomfort, fear? Or mistrust?

He can't believe he's sitting here, with her next to him. He was afraid it was all a dream this morning when he woke up. So much had happened- how could it have been just hours ago? It felt like it had been a whole lifetime. And yet, the look of her, the smell of her- it was all the same. He still felt the same way about her - stronger, even, upon reflection upon all that they had been through and accomplished the previous day.

Somehow, love actually did conquer all- for all of them.

"So, how was last night with your sister? After…" - he trailed off, unsure of what to call yesterday.

She met his gaze with brave eyes that were still conflicted and hurting, and pulled an imaginary piece of hair back behind her ear.

"Weird - it was weird,"she said. "I mean, don't get me wrong, it was wonderful! Really – I never thought we'd be here - hugging, talking, like we did. She's my sister, and we grew up right down the hall from each other. But we haven't spoken - I mean, haven't really spoken in years - and I think" - she bit her lip, eyes turning downcast – "I don't think we know how to, anymore."

Kristoff can read between the lines and assume that Anna spoke plenty last night. But he understands that she feels like she was just filling the silent void between the two women, uncomfortable with the awkwardness that had grown as they themselves had.

They had both cried- a lot, and they had both apologized over and over again. And Elsa never took her eyes off of her, Anna had noticed. But it was as if Elsa had so much to say that she didn't know what to say or how to say it.

How do you not know what to say to your sister after everything you did? Kristoff wants to ask the elder. He does not understand. He does not know, cannot know, how after years and years the unspoken words pile up - mountains of them that clog the throat, sit on the tongue, fill the mouth, run between the ears and swarm in the mind find themselves unable to be released and spoken, almost as if they were never even there to begin with.

A few days later, Anna plans a dinner so that Elsa and Kristoff can finally meet under more… normal, non-deadly circumstances.

It will take place in the formal dining room, in honor of the momentous occasion of the two most important people in Anna's life meeting "for real this time," as she calls it. She's requested that the cooks make both Kristoff's and Elsa's favorite foods (clashing though the meal may be), and that all the candles on the marvelous chandelier above are lit so that the room and its decorations practically shimmer in the light.

Kristoff is secretly relieved that he and Anna arrive before Elsa so that he can ask her what all the utensils are for and how many drinks will be served in all these glasses? It all seems ridiculous, really.

He's surprised when the queen enters, looking just as uncomfortable as he feels, though he can tell that she's trying not to show it. She has a mild smile plastered on her face as she quietly steps in, though he sees how her eyes dart around like she's expecting an attack and her fingers are twisting together incessantly.

Sitting down placidly in her seat at the head of the table, Elsa tries to take subtle deep breaths to quiet the screeching screams of alarm in her ears. Kristoff is not a diplomat or council member- she would know what to say and do, if he were. That's the beauty of convention and diplomacy - there's a script she can follow for that. But this- she realizes with a start, trying to not let the shock show on her face- this is the first person she is meeting, perhaps the first person she is meeting ever, to get to know on a personal level, rather than a professional one.

And she has no idea how to do it.

Thankfully Anna begins the introductions and leads the conversation, steering the conversation towards mild, pleasant things and earning light laughter from both of them at times.

Elsa doesn't even notice that Kristoff uses the wrong utensils or picks up his bowl of soup at one point to drink. She has too much on her mind already trying to figure out what to say next and keeping the temperature at a tolerable level.

Kristoff, on the other hand, is trying to absorb everything. How the women eat, where they place their napkins, the layout of the room. Everything is overwhelmingly foreign. What he does notice, however, is that when Elsa tries to ask an attendant for a new napkin, as Anna's has fallen to the floor, she turns every which way before finding the serving boy. Almost as if…she hasn't eaten in here for years, Kristoff realizes. And Anna's words from yesterday come back to him, then:

"I never knew. She barely ever came out of her room and I had no idea why."

"So what are you going to do while I'm gone?" Kristoff asks. Anna is sitting on his lap, her head resting on his neck so that he can smell the soap in her hair and see the freckles scattered across her forehead.

They're in a clearing not too far from the castle, with a little brook babbling over stones nearby. The sun has set and stars are beginning to become visible, the sounds of the night starting to filter in around them. Kristoff doesn't want to leave to go ice harvesting tomorrow. He knows he has to – he took too long of a break from his work, what with the coronation "events" and wanting to spend time with Anna – but he doesn't feel ready to leave her just yet, even though he knows that he'll be back in just one week.

"Well," Anna starts, keeping her head craned back on Kristoff, "Elsa asked if I would head a committee focused on finding ways to improve the lives of the children in Arendelle- you know, their schools and education, the orphanages, things like that. So I'll get started on that this week." Kristoff nodded, realizing that the stars dotting the night sky above were just as numerous and beautiful as Anna's many freckles.

"Besides that, though, Elsa and I planned a whole day together- just the two of us!" Anna's hands grip Kristoff's knees in excitement. "I can't wait! And, of course I'm going to try to drag her out of those boring old meetings a bit more other days so we can have more time together, too."

"Wait, what?" Kristoff straightened his back, requiring Anna to sit up too and she turned to face him, confused.

"Anna, your sister's been really busy and stressed lately…maybe you should just give her some space 'til things calm down." Kristoff reflects on the past few days when he spotted Elsa walking briskly with councilors through the hallways, piles of books and scrolls in her hands , a frown on her face and worry in her eyes. The three of them had also twice planned to meet for dinner, but both times the queen had had to cancel and instead take her meal to her room to work on reparations late into the night.

"What are you talking about? That's exactly why it's important that we spend time together." Anna's eyes narrowed. "You…you don't want me spending time with her, do you?" She realized.

"No!" Kristoff backpedaled as Anna stood up from his lap and stood now towering over him. He rose to meet her. "It's not that, I just…I think she needs some space right now, with everything going on. Why don't you wait 'til I'm back, and we can do something together, the three of us?"

"What is your problem?" Anna's face reddens, camouflaging her freckles as her arms cross tightly in front of her. "You think you need to be there with us? To what, protect me?" Her mouth settles into a hard line as she shakes her head sadly. "You think I need protection from Elsa."

Kristoff sighs – he might as well just tell the truth at this point. "Anna, I know you don't want to think about it, but your sister is dangerous. I just don't want you getting hurt again. You need to be more careful around her."

Anna's eyes darken. "I can't believe you. After all we've been through, Elsa and I. You know that she figured out the secret to controlling her powers, but you still think she's dangerous. Everyone keeps telling me that, even Elsa, but I didn't think I'd hear it from you."

Even Elsa? Elsa is telling her she should be careful? Kristoff doesn't know if that makes him feel better- that Elsa knows she's dangerous and therefore will be more cautious – or worse.

"I guess you don't know me well enough yet," Anna starts.

She's my sister. She would never hurt me. Anna's voice rings in his ears, her words spoken only days ago but it felt like it had been a lifetime. Kristoff sees the snow-white strands of Anna's braids in his mind's eye, feels the stiffness of the ice under her skin, spreading.

"And you certainly don't know Elsa," Anna finished.

Kristoff lowers his head, yielding to Anna's choice. But do you?

The night that Kristoff returns from his ice harvesting trip, Anna plans for a family dinner – all three of them this time, and no excuses. "I'm talking to you, Elsa," she exclaims, winking at her sister, who can't seem to decide whether that's a joke or a threat.

The meal goes well – Anna is nearly shaking with excitement at Kristoff's return and even Elsa seems enthralled by his stories of adventuring in the wilderness, asking for details, eyes wide and round at his tales like a young child.

"How is it that you always seem to have wolves coming after you at night?" Elsa asks, intrigued. And a bit worried for the future safety of her sister.

"It's not my fault, I swear!" Kristoff exclaims. "Well, not usually. This time it might've been – we accidentally stumbled into a den. But you should've seen it!" He begins to describe the action scene that took place- wolves surrounding him and Sven on all sides, he brandishing a torch and knife while Sven prepared himself for a fight.

"It came at me and I swiped like this-" he brandished his butter knife in the air, causing Anna to burst into giggles while Elsa's eyes widened and she covered her mouth to hide her growing amusement at Kristoff's show. "And Sven kicked them as they came after him, one after the other, like BAM!" Kristoff thrust out his arm in recollection of Sven's swift kick-

Right into his water glass. CRACK!

Glass splintered from the impact, scattering across the tablecloth. But there was more crackling as Elsa, startled from the noise, jumped and unwittingly released the dam that held her magic.

The entire tabletop became a thin sheet of ice, encroaching upon their salad plates. The wine and water glasses froze, as did their contents- including the water that had been spilled across the table…and Kristoff's hand that had been dripping on impact, caught frozen in his demonstration of Sven's kick.

Time itself seemed to freeze. Kristoff's eyes grew round as saucers and his breath caught as he struggled to pull his hand out of the block of ice, but his efforts were fruitless.

Elsa took longer to recover, still stunned by her actions. She closed her eyes, took a deep breath in and held it, then flicked her fingers and dispelled the ice, though it receded slowly. Kristoff shook out his hand once freed and rubbed his palms together to gain warmth and feeling back.

"K-Kristoff," Elsa stuttered. "I'm- I'm so sorry. I didn't mean-" She was cut off as Anna reached over and held her trembling hands.

"It's alright Elsa – hey!" Anna clasped her fingers tightly around Elsa's as she tried to pull away, her gaze in her lap. "Stop it, don't worry, you unfroze it!"

"But it shouldn't have happened at all" Elsa moaned softly, despair leaking out of her throat. Tears brim in her eyes at what she's done again. "I'm sorry," she whispers to Kristoff, before excusing herself from the table. Anna leaps up and tries to pull her back but Elsa wrenches her arm out of her sister's grasp. "I'll see you later tonight, okay?

Kristoff feels distraught over Elsa's actions. He doesn't want her to be so upset; it's obvious that it was an accident, an accident that was his own fault, anyway, and he knows she didn't mean to freeze his arm. He wants to tell her that, at first – that she shouldn't apologize, that he's sorry for breaking such nice, expensive royal glasses and all.

But as the queen steps through the doors to leave, Kristoff realizes his arm is still tingling and his fingertips are still blue, and he remembers how he felt when Anna collapsed in his arms, trembling from the aftershock of the ice spreading through her heart.

He remembers how her eyes grew more heavy-lidded as the cold began to spread through her body and made her legs shaky and weak, and the desperation he felt when he heard her voice through the howling winter winds and knew he wouldn't make it to her in time.

And suddenly Kristoff isn't sure if he feels like apologizing to Elsa anymore.

She's gotten so much better, Elsa thinks, at controlling her magic. She has fewer accidents now, and even when one does occur, she can dissipate the snow or ice that much more quickly. She's proud of herself, of how far she has come. But that sentiment only makes her occasional failures that much harder to bear.

Her old insecurities return with a vengeance, screaming in her head. You're a failure, you could never control yourself and you never will. You're a danger. A monster.

Trying to ignore those voices is difficult enough. But it's near impossible when she sees the look on Kristoff's face during another incident.

The three of them were sitting in Elsa's office, Kristoff and Anna waiting on the queen to finish up before they could take their planned walk together. Reaching for the very last letter in the once sky-high stack, Elsa breathes a sigh of relief as she opens the envelope. Almost done.

But then she reads its contents- yet another kingdom choosing to end their ice trade with Arendelle, as they don't want to be receiving any magical ice (even though whatever ice Arendelle ships to other kingdoms is normal ice, never magical), and her heart drops while her anger flares and she groans in exasperation.

She hates this – that others assume her magic is tainting her kingdom's hard-earned goods. She hates that her notoriety is destroying the livelihoods of others; those that work hard to earn their pay. Her temper flares as her entire desk ices over suddenly, the letter in hand included.

That minor slip-up would be bad enough, but it's made worse when Elsa catches movement out of the corner of her eye – Anna, who was sitting closest to Elsa's desk, has been pulled away from the icy accident by Kristoff, his hands gripping her shoulders hard as he pulls her out of "harm's way."

The ice harvester's face, however, is what is the most painful to see. Eyes wide and fearful, his shocked and anxious expression eats away at what is left of Elsa's frayed nerves.

It's hard to face someone's expression when they look at you that way. It's even harder to look at that person's face and see your late parents looking back at you – despairing, scared, and as if they've lost all hope.

She can't unfreeze the desk now, not with mama and papa's faces reflected in Kristoff's.

His arms around Anna – she sees her sister cradled motionless in her mother's arms. She sees Kristoff's expression and hears "Elsa, what you have done?" The apprehension in his eyes is the same as her father's – confusion over what his daughter can do and fear over what she is destined to become. She sees the despair in her mother's face over a daughter she can no longer hold; a distant reminder of what she could have had, had she been normal.

Her response to the letter will have to wait until tomorrow.

That same night, with Kristoff's horrified expression still branded in her mind's eye as she rests her head on her pillows, Elsa dreams.

She's back in her personal dungeon cell- the one designed especially for her. She's backed up against the wall, her feet scrambling on the freezing, rough stones of the floor. She feels her heart racing faster than it ever has before, her panic mounting so quickly and intensely she feels as though she's about to burst.

Her magic, similarly, is raging within her like a storm about to let loose, but it can't. It is contained by handcuffs which envelop each hand entirely, up to her wrists. She can feel her powers bounding underneath her skin, pushing, pushing so hard to be released.

Despite her kicking and struggling, incredibly strong hands push her back down onto the cold, hard floor; shove her back into the stone wall so hard that her head snaps back and collides with the wall.

Her head spinning and eyes now unfocused from the impact, Elsa just barely manages to make out the figure of Kristoff as he turns the key in her handcuffs and slams the iron gate to her cell, his hazel eyes locked on hers with an expression of hate so fierce it burns.

Kristoff stirs in the middle of the night, or quite possibly the very early morning. At first he doesn't know what woke him; he usually wakes at the crack of dawn once the slightest bit of light appears on the horizon.

But then he hears Anna moaning next to him and feels her twitching limbs against his side and he rolls his eyes while biting back a laugh.

"Anna," he whispers, "shhhh. Stop that."

Anna doesn't respond, and she doesn't seem to have heard the man next to her trying to sleep. Instead, her muscles shudder, her limbs drawing inward to wrap around herself as her trembling only worsens.

"No – please! Please," she mutters, groaning. "Why did you-"

Her shivering intensifies suddenly, her body rigid and tight as her teeth begin chattering.

Kristoff startles at the change. He whips the blanket from around his frame and is quick to wrap it around the redhead, tucking it in around her sides, but it doesn't seem to help. Anna continues to shake and moan.

"Anna! Wake up!" Kristoff tries shaking her awake but her body is tight and cold. He keeps trying, even going so far as to pry her eyelids open to gain a response.

This seems to rouse her, and slowly, slowly, her extremities ease their quaking and her body goes soft. Tears rest in the corners of her eyes and drip down her face.

Kristoff gathers her lightly trembling form in his arms. "Shhhh, shhhh. It's okay. I've got you." He strokes her hair with one hand while the other thumbs tears off of her cheeks.

"I th-thought I was freezing again," Anna begins to explain. "The ice…I felt it again…"

"I know," Kristoff says, holding her tight despite her shaking and continuing to wipe off her tears. "I know."

Just because she's quiet doesn't mean she is blind.

Elsa notices, as the days go by, the attention that Kristoff pays Anna's interactions with her sister. Their physical interactions, specifically.

She catches a few winces from Kristoff when Anna grabs her hands or clasps her shoulders. Funny how they both do that.

A couple times when Elsa joined the pair after a stressful day with her council or holed up in her office, she sees how Kristoff keeps his large hands around Anna's waist, seemingly preventing her from moving forward towards her sister.

And once, even, Elsa overheard a conversation between the couple, just about to enter Anna's room when she heard voices inside.

"She's not going to hurt me again! We've been over this Kristoff. Stop trying to protect me from something I don't need your protection from."

Elsa knows what, or rather who it is that Anna and Kristoff are discussing. There is no doubting Kristoff's feelings about her now.

Everyone treats her like she's a ticking time bomb, about to explode at the slightest provocation.

She should be upset with Kristoff. Hurt.

But she is glad.

The Queen may usually walk silently throughout the halls of the castle, but Kristoff hears her coming from a mile away while mucking out Sven's stall in the stables, her heels crunching in the straw.

She's hiked up her voluminous skirts and is so focused on not trodding on any horse manure that she doesn't realize she's found who she's searching for until Kristoff clears his throat.

"Oh! Kristoff!" She rights the drop in temperature caused by her surprise, her eyes nervously taking in her surroundings and looking everywhere but at Kristoff.

"Your majesty." Kristoff bows awkwardly, his heart pounding in his chest as his mind races to recall why on earth would the queen be coming to visit him in the stables of all places?

Having to remind Kristoff to call her by her real name when in private seems to bring Elsa back to the present. Twisting her fingers together painfully, she looks to be on the verge of saying something but is unable to spit it out.

"Can I help you with something?" Kristoff asks. "If you're looking for carrots, I'm afraid Sven already ate them all."

Sven harrumphs in agreement, trying to nudge Elsa as she retreats a few steps back cautiously, eying his fur.

"No, it's not that," she giggles behind her hand. "I just…I wanted to talk to you briefly about something, if you have a minute?"

Even if he didn't have a single second to spare, Kristoff didn't think he could tell the Queen of Arendelle she had to come back some other time.

"Sure, now's fine. What did you want to talk about?" He can feel his pulse quicken in suspense. Please don't tell me I have to stay away from Anna. I know I'm not good enough for her, but…please. Anything but that.

The queen closes her eyes, taking a deep breath through her nose that raises her shoulders nearly to her ears. When she's done, she seems much looser, more relaxed. Only her eyes betray the solemnity of her intention.

"I know you don't trust me," she begins, slowly, as Kristoff forms words of denial on the tip of his tongue. "Don't deny it- not after what I did, to you and to Anna." Her lips are turned down in a frown as she reflects on her past actions. "I know how you see me- because the person you're seeing now is how I saw myself…before."

Kristoff doesn't know how to respond to that. He remains kneeling in the straw, grasping for something to say. Still mute, he settles on a nod, his throat bobbing as he swallows.

"You can't see past what I did to see the person beneath. And I wanted you to know that I understand. And I'm glad that you feel that way, for Anna's sake. Because while I now know how to control my powers, it doesn't mean that I always can."

She takes another deep breath, her eyes locked within his. "I know you don't trust me. And that's okay. Because I don't trust myself yet, either."

She finishes with her breath hitching and her voice catching in her throat. "Protect her. Please. From everything- including me."

Afraid to face Kristoff's reaction to her words, she turns and retreats, stepping carefully through the mess of the stable.

Kristoff would call after her to stop, but he doesn't know what he would even say if she came back. He can't believe what just happened. Did the queen herself really just come to find him in the stables and pour her heart out to him? After all her silence, not only did she admit to what she did, she asked that he defend her sister from herself.

He can't believe it. The queen has just asked him to be Anna's protector. In more ways than one.

The queen's words ring in his ears. I don't trust myself yet. Protect her- from me.

To be afraid of yourself, to not trust yourself…

Kristoff knows he weighs more than double Anna's weight. He knows he can wield a heavy ice pickaxe like it's a sack of feathers. He knows he can crush a rock with his bare hands. If he wanted to, he could kill Anna in a heartbeat (heaven forbid). He knows, of course, that he would never so much as lay a finger on her with the intent to harm. He would never.

But what if he couldn't control himself? What if, by their own accord, his arms reached out, his meaty palms on either side of Anna's neck, and his fingers squeezed until her eyes bulged, her face going so red her freckles were no longer visible? Forced to watch himself commit this unspeakable act, as he murdered the one he so loved?

Kristoff thinks he may get it now. He gets Elsa now.

Please let me know what you think! Part two coming in the next week or two- in which Kristoff and Elsa begin to understand each other and form a special bond/friendship in supporting each other.