Author's Note: So lurkingwhump begged for some Jeller fluff to offset all of the angst that's sure to be coming up with Remi... What could be fluffier than a drunken wedding day speech from Patterson? :D Yes, I plan to do Tasha's and Reade's too, if I can focus on one fic for more than five seconds. Those waiting for Torture Without You - I have half a chapter written, so I'm getting there! :)

"Time for my speech, guys! Settle down!"

Patterson's clanging of a spoon on a glass seemed dangerously enthusiastic. Jane moved in closer to Kurt, murmuring, "I think she's gonna break that glass. How much has she had to drink?"

Her husband of just a few hours grinned, shaking his head. "I don't think she's done by a long shot. I say we let her get on with it."

"I do love a drunk Patterson," Jane admitted, and leaned back against him to listen to the speech.

"Okay, Tasha's made me promise not to mention Dungeons and Dragons, so I'll leave that for the video camera. So, Jane Doe and Kurt Weller."

Everyone had settled down to listen now, glasses of champagne in hand. Tasha leaned over to mutter something in Reade's ear, and Reade snickered in reply. Jane gave Patterson a warm smile as her friend looked over at her.

"I don't think anyone here is surprised this wedding is happening. Like, seriously. Not long after they met, Jane and Kurt had to go undercover as a married couple—a married couple of assassins, naturally, because this is Jane and Kurt—and it was a formal event, so he was waiting around, talking to Allie—hi, Allie!"

Allie waved from across the room, her smile fading only a little as baby Bethany, six months old yesterday, began to whimper on her lap. Jane tried not to roll her eyes as Kurt tensed a little, ready to rush to his daughter's side if needed. He was the most overprotective father ever, and his daughter couldn't even crawl yet.

As Bethany—and Kurt—calmed down, Patterson continued, "This was even before Bethany was conceived, that's how ridiculously complicated Jane and Kurt's relationship has been…"

Tasha cleared her throat loudly as Jane tried not to cover her face with her hands. "Oh my god, this is a trainwreck," she whispered to Kurt.

"I know you don't remember going to any weddings, but this is pretty much what happens at all of them," he replied, amused. "Just go with it. Everyone's going to end up too drunk to remember the speeches, anyway."

"But yeah," Patterson continued, "Jane walks into SIOC in this amazing, full-length black dress, all her tattoos covered by the dress except the ones on her hands and her neck, which we did with make-up… And Kurt just looks over Allie's shoulder and sees Jane, and I swear… You know when someone in a cartoon sees someone they find attractive, and their eyes turn into hearts and their heart actually starts beating out of their chest?" She fluttered her hand over her heart to emphasise her point. "It was exactly like that."

Everyone laughed, turning to look at the newlyweds. Kurt kissed the tattoo on Jane's neck, completely unashamed. Jane shot Allie another look to make sure this wasn't completely humiliating for her, but Allie was laughing and nodding. "It so was," she mouthed across the room.

"But I had a point." Patterson paused a moment, then said, "Oh! Yes. They've had their ups and downs since they first met. They both have nightmare families that got in the way, and that's all I'm gonna say about that. Except you, Sarah. You're great."

From further down the table, Sarah Weller smiled and lifted her glass in thanks.

"But Jane and Kurt were, like, fated to be together. Nothing could stand in their way for long. They'd argue and angst, and the rest of us would just place bets on how long until they decided they loved each other more than they didn't like what had happened. It definitely made the working day more entertaining."

Jane wanted the floor to open and swallow her up. Everyone in her line of sight was nodding and grinning. How much of a soap opera had their relationship been to their friends and colleagues?

"So when they decided to make it official, no one was surprised. And as we all know, this wedding was pretty short notice, which Jane assures me is not because she's having a baby, but because they've wasted so much time already. But no one is happier for them than me—and you guys, I'm gonna miss you so much when you move to Colorado. I love you both so much."

Despite being a little uncomfortable, Jane couldn't help but well up with tears at the heartfelt declaration. "I love you too," she called.

"Everyone, please raise your glasses to the happy couple! To Jane and Kurt!"

"Jane and Kurt!" everyone echoed, and the clink of glasses resounded around the room.

Jane turned to her husband, picking up her glass. "To you," she said, smiling.

"To us," he said, knocking his glass gently against hers. His smile warmed her heart, so unguarded and joyful. They'd been through so much. They deserved this day.

"And to being drunk enough to forget that speech," Jane added, and took a larger-than-polite gulp of champagne.