Well, here we are, ladies and gentlemen. Welcome to the Crossovers arc, and to my surprise, this is the very first Evangelion x Family Guy crossover on this site.
Anyway, before you start reading, there are some rules: 1) You need to have read "2nd Chances", "The Merciless Hybrid", and "Rise of the Eva Form" in that order to understand what's going on and what led to this chapter. And 2) If you have a concept of what Family Guy and/or Neon Genesis Evangelion is, even just a loose one, then you'll understand some of the comedy or drama I'm going to try and attempt.
And, once more, I am NOT going to summarize the previous stories. Either read them or you will get lost.
Please remember that this story is Rated M for language, violence, offensive jokes, and some sexual content. If you're easily offended by any of this, you should leave now.
For everyone else, enjoy!
And because I just had to, here's the opening to Family Guy…
"Lois-It's seems today that all you see is violence in movies and sex on TV"
Peter-"But where are those good old fashioned values"
Chris, Meg, Brian and Stewie-"Oh which we used to rely?"
Entire Family Guy Cast-"Lucky's there's a family guy! Lucky there's a man who positively can do all the things that make us…."
Stevie-"Laugh and cry"
Entire Family Guy Cast-"He's-A-Fam-ily-Guy!"
NGE vs Family Guy: The Dangerous Power of Cutaways!
Opening the door and walking outside, Peter Griffin of Quahog, Rhode Island took a deep breathe, stretched, and announced "Oh, is it a beautiful…." Upon realizing he wasn't in his neighborhood anymore, however, Peter looked up and saw several buildings several miles away with a small plane flying by, advertising ticket sales for the 2018 Miami Dolphins season. Peter's smile quickly became a frown as he told himself "Aw man, we're in Florida. This sucks more than partying with Buzz Killington."
(Cutaway)
Peter is seen at The Clam with Cleveland, Quagmire and Joe, as they proceeded to get drunk while Peter began to take his shirt off and shout "GO PATS 2018." Everyone in the bar cheered until a well-dressed elderly man entered and announced "You know, gents, this reminds me of a time when I attended my very first rugby game. It was simply smashing." The 4 men quickly frowned as Peter rubbed his temple and groaned.
(End of Cutaway)
Peter soon turned to his left and noticed a two-story house with a small gate around it and a grey family van. "Looks like we've got new neighbors." Peter told himself, as he added "I wonder if they're also child predators or just stoners."
Beginning to rub the sleep off of his eyes, Big the Bird began to awaken as he noticed the sleeping form of his new girlfriend: the faux-blond scientist of what was once NERV, Ritsuko Akagi. He smiled as he took in her nude form and began to think back.
Not more than a few months ago, he had actually begun to consider committing suicide following the deaths of his wife and children the previous year. However, after a tear, which later became a hole, in space and time following 3rd Impact in the world of Tokyo-3, Big was delivered 3 miracles in the form of Shinji Ikari, Misato Katsuragi, and the woman who laid here with him. He liked Shinji and Misato, but he cared more for the former as sort of a surrogate son and Misato as either a good friend or close to a sister. Ritsuko, however, was different. She was emotionally damaged when she arrived and it took quite some effort to get through to her, quickly becoming her friend in the process.
That friendship quickly brought them to lust, becoming lovers, and after the night before, now they were an official couple. She admitted to loving him as they had sex last night, and he admitted he loved her afterwards.
As she began to stir as well, she saw Big looking at her. "Morning, love" Ritsuko quietly muttered, as she asked "Sleep well?" Big kissed her before replying "Best sleep I've had in a long time. You wore me out last night." Ritsuko chuckled before saying "Funny, I was about to say the same to you. Then again, I think I'm still sore after you fucked me like an animal last night." Kissing him back, Ritsuko began to sit up, asking "Hungry?" Big nodded before he began to sit up, as they both started getting dressed while taking quick glances at each other.
10 minutes later, as Shinji and Misato quietly walked down the stairs towards the kitchen, a voice shouted "HOLD IT YOU TWO!" They stopped, squirming as if they were children caught getting a cookie before dinner. Turning around, they saw an angry female pink bird wearing a white shirt and blue jeans who removed earplugs from her ears. "Oh, hi Little" Misato said, attempting to be cheerful, as she added "It's a beautiful day out there, isn't it?" Little, however, narrowed her eyes, and said "Don't you fucking dare try and be nice with me. I've known about your little relationship since your first night here." The two slowly began to back up as Shinji asked "How? Big never told anyone." Little raised an eyebrow and replied "He didn't need to tell me. We're twins. Our species tend to have a link with one another in the case of twins, and while we can hide some things from the other, it depends how deep we bury it." Continuing on, Little said "That being said, the only reason I haven't gone to the police about your little pedo-relationship is A) My brother could possibly go to jail for allowing this to happen in this house, as could possibly his father, and B) If this were to be learned by any of the heroes or villains in this dimension, they will either try and put him into a cell or kill him and his father. I will NOT allow that."
"Jesus, you guys are overprotective of him." Misato muttered, yet Little took offense as he began to float over to them and got directly into Misato's face, telling her "Me and Carlos HAVE to be overprotective of him. Compared to the two of us, my brother's head is a completely fucked up mess of emotional problems." Backing away from them as her feet quietly touched the floor, Little announced "Throughout our lives, me and Big have seen loved ones either betray us or die. It's how we dealt with it that's different. We both grieved, but I move on. Big, for some reason, took things a little more personally. When he was betrayed, he reacted with anger and furious vengeance. When he lost loved ones, Big just shut down completely. He lost the will to live, and it took a long time for him to at least try and get back to some kind of normal semblance." Crossing his arms, Little finally concluded "It's because of that, me and Carlos always have to keep an eye on him. We've had some close calls with him, but he's all we've got left and I would gladly give my life to keep them both safe." Confused, Misato asked "What do you mean by close calls? You mean like a mental breakdown? Suicide even?" Little frowned before replying "Those are questions even I dare not answer in his place. You want answers, you have to ask him that."
However, as these events happened, neither Big nor Little couldn't help but feel the presence of danger nearby.
"Hey Lois!" Peter shouted, as he entered the kitchen and saw his wife, Lois Griffin, cooking breakfast. "What do you want, Peter? Can't you see I'm getting breakfast ready?" She asked impatiently, as Peter replied "Well, aside from the fact that we're in Florida now, we got new neighbors." Confused, Lois asked "In Florida? Really? What are we doing here?" Peter could only shrug before wondering "Maybe we were brought here by some magical force that…." Lois, at that point narrowed her eyes and said "Peter, we talked about this before: There's no such thing as magic. This isn't a fantasy book like Harry Potter, this is real life." Peter pouted before his three kids and their dog came down the stairs and into the kitchen.
"Mom, Dad, is it true we're in Florida now?" Chris Griffin, their 2nd child asked, as Peter replied "Sorry Chris, but we're back in Florida for some reason. Gotta tell you, this is more confusing than watching an episode of Bill Nye the Science Guy."
(Cutaway)
As Peter watched an episode of Bill Nye explaining how tectonic plates shift and cause earthquakes, Peter pouted and asked himself "How the fuck do kids get this? I'm an adult and I don't get it."
Peter soon changed the programming to another channel, as the TV announced "We now return to the Batman/Green Hornet crossover", causing Peter to cheer.
(End of Cutaway)
"Dad, how do you get confused watching Bill Nye? You do know that show was made over 20 years ago and teaches science to kids, right?" Meg Griffin, the oldest of their children, asked. In response, Peter narrowed his eyes and replied "Because shut up, Meg." Meg also narrowed her eyes yet looked down and said nothing. Lois, preparing to serve the cooked food, told Peter "Y'know Peter, Meg makes a good point. How exactly do you get confused watching a science show meant for kids?" Peter again shrugged before replying "The same way I get confused about what the big deal is with Japan: For the most part, it's just Japanese school girls and monsters with tentacles."
Lois could only facepalm, yet it was their dog, Brian, who responded by saying "Peter, that's just Japanese porn." As everyone began to sit down, Peter simply said "Porn, culture, it's basically the same thing." Setting the food on the table, Lois picked up their youngest, Stewie Griffin, and placed him in his high chair. "I say, Brian?" Stewie addressed their dog, asking him "Is the fat man right? Are porn and culture basically the same?" Brian looked at Stewie as Lois put Stewie's food on his highchair, replying "Stewie, the chances of Peter being right are the same as someone trying to prove the existence of magic: It's not possible." Stewie pouted, yet asked "Then what about the time we had that magician on my last birthday?"
(Cutaway)
"Ok kids" said the magician dressed in a suit with a red bowtie, top hat, cane, and purple cape, as he asked Stewie and a group of small infants "Who wants to see me pull a rabbit out of my hat?" The kids cheered as the magician pulled a rabbit out of his hat, surprising the kids who cheered once more.
Unfortunately, at that moment, Peter entered the room and grabbed the hat, tipping it upside down in an attempt to get the rabbit out with no success. Throwing the hat down, he looked at the magician and asked "How did you do it?" The magician smiled and replied "With magic". Peter became ecstatic, before noticing a rather large lump in the back of the man's pants, as Peter narrows his eyes and asks "You just shoved it up your bum, didn't you?" The magician didn't respond, but only smiled while having a nervous sweat.
(End of Cutaway)
Stewie pouted once more before saying "Oh right, that happened."
Lois then announced "Well, since we're in Florida, how about we go meet the new neighbors after breakfast?" Everyone groaned, as Peter said "Aw, Lois, do we have to? Everyone knows Florida sucks, and they're probably just sex predators." Lois, however, would not back down, as she told Peter "You owe me one, Peter, especially after what happened the last time we had new neighbors."
(Cutaway)
Walking to the front door of their new neighbors, Lois looked at Peter and said "Now you behave yourself Peter, understand? I don't want a repeat of last time with that nice family from Texas." Ringing the doorbell, 2 men opened the door with a little baby in one of their arms, only for Peter to ask "So were you guys kicked out of Texas too?" Upset, one of the men replied "Fuck you" before shutting the door on them.
(End of Cutaway)
"We're going, and that's final" Lois announced, as Peter pouted and said "Aw man, this sucks more than watching the Patriots lose the Super Bowl."
(Cutaway)
"And that's the game! At 41-33, the Philadelphia Eagles have won the Super Bowl!" The TV announced, as Peter, Joe, Quagmire, and Cleveland, all dressed as Patriot fans, became enraged and destroyed the living room; toppling over the TV and couch, as well as throwing the table through the window.
"What's going on in these?" Lois shouted from the next room, as all four men quickly stood silent for a moment before quickly running out the front door.
(End of Cutaway)
Meanwhile, next door, Shinji, Misato and Little walked into the kitchen and noticed Big showing Ritsuko how to make pancakes, as she flipped one with a spatula. "Easy, right?" he asked, as Ritsuko smiled and nodded before replying "Well thank you, sweetie. I did have a good teacher, after all." Ritsuko kissed his cheek before Misato announced "Well it's about time." The two freaked for a moment before turning to find their friends looking on, as Misato chuckled before stating "I see your constant sex-capades finally got you two together." They chuckled while blushing, as Little asked "Just like Delilah, huh?" Big narrowed his eyes before sighing. "Oh really?" Misato asked, a predatory grin on her face, as she soon told Little "Please, Little, tell us more." Little smiled, deciding to indulge in having fun at her brother's expense, before turning to Misato and announcing "Why of course, dear Misato, I would be happy to tell you and Shinji about how Big mated with Delilah for the first time and they became a couple. Though, you might end up having to…." Big finally cut her off, by saying "NO" repeatedly while his face turned red from blushing and waving his arms around. Little playfully sighed before saying "Oh well, another time then" as she, Misato and Shinji slowly turned to leave the kitchen.
"Don't even think about it" Big warned his sister, as she groaned before announcing "Ok fine, you win." However, Big could only shake his head before a large throbbing pain entered his head. Beginning to wobble as he stood, Big grabbed the kitchen counter as he held his head in pain, already feeling as if several attacks were being made to his skull, one at a time. Unfortunately for him, Ritsuko quickly took notice as she asked him "Big, are you ok?" He attempted to say something, yet nothing came from his mouth as he finally collapsed onto the floor. "BIG" Ritsuko yelled, as she threw the spatula aside and quickly dropped down onto her knees as she raised his head.
"What's going on?" Little asked as she re-entered the kitchen only to see her brother unconscious on the floor. "What happened? Is he ok?" she asked the faux-blond doctor, who could only shake her head. Once Shinji and Misato re-entered the kitchen, they saw a concerned Little pick up her brother as she looked at Shinji and commanded him "Get a pillow and some blankets, NOW!" Shinji nodded and went upstairs as Little carried her brother into the living room and placed him on the couch. "Ritsuko, can you get me a washcloth and a bucket of cold water?" Little asked her, as Ritsuko retreated back into the kitchen. Meanwhile, as Misato could only look on, Little thought to herself "Sorry to do this Carlos, but I need you here now and I can't risk letting them know yet."
"OH CARLOS, YES!' Sara screamed, pleasure rushing through her body.
It wasn't more than an hour before that she and her secret husband had awakened. Not more than an hour since he kissed her bare shoulders and she responded by licking the tip of his nose. Not more than an hour when she smiled upon seeing Carlos look over her shoulders to see her bare nipples, reveling in the reawakening of a certain part of his body that had arisen. Yet, here they were, endorsing in the sins of the flesh once more, as they continued where the two left off the night before: Carlos inserting his length into Sara's womanhood as he began pounding away while Sara screamed in ecstasy. "YES! FUCK ME! YES!" Sara screamed, as Carlos spanked her before asking "You're a dirty dhampir, aren't you?" Sara moaned before replied "Oh god, yes. I'm a dirty dhampir." Carlos spanked her again, asking "Who's my sexy dirty dhampir?" Moaning again, Sara grabbed one of her breasts with one of her hands as she replied "Yours! I'm your dirty dhampir."
Spanking her a third time, Carlos asked "Who does my cock belong to?" Sara, smiling while she screamed, replied "M-Me! It's my cock, but it's your pussy! Only you get to have this pussy!" Spanking her one last time, Carlos asked "Do you want me to fire off inside you? Do you want me that badly?" Sara began to cry tears of joy as she shouted "YES! I WANT YOUR FUCKING SEED! NOW GIVE IT TO ME!" However, as Carlos prepared to release, he heard Little's voice in the back of his mind shout "STOP FUCKING YOUR GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!" Freaking out, Carlos pulled out at the last second, as his seed released all over Sara's backside while she shouted "OH, FUCK" before she squirted all over the bed.
The two quickly began to pant, exhausted, as Sara eventually smiled and said "Damn, you haven't done that in a while." However, she quickly noted Carlos' shocked face, as she asked "Baby, you ok?" Carlos' shocked face went into fear, looking as though the color was draining from his face. "Carlos?" she asked, now concerned, as she got up to her knees and managed to knee-walk over to him, hugging his side as she kissed his cheek. "Talk to me, what's wrong? You're scaring me" Sara said, now worried as Carlos wouldn't move.
He finally did move, not more than a minute later, as he looked at her and said "Little was speaking to me telepathically. She said Big just up and collapsed." Now worried herself, Sara bit her bottom lip and told him "We'd better go then." Carlos nodded, as the two started getting dressed.
Their son needed them.
Big's eyes slowly opened, as he saw Ritsuko with a damp washcloth put it on his head while he was covered in a blanket. "Are you ok?" Ritsuko asked him, yet Big weakly replied "I don't know. What happened?" Ritsuko could only shake her head, not sure herself as she said "Right now, you just rest. When you're a little better, we'll take you to the base to get a cat scan, ok?" Big didn't respond, as he eyes slowly opened and closed, still exhausted from whatever happened to him. "Hey-ya Big, how are you feeling?" Misato asked softly, as she began leaning over the other side of the couch, concern evident in her tone, as she said "Shinji's making you some soup right now and Little said she was contacting your dad." She then closed her eyes and rubbed the back of her head, adding "We didn't know if you ate chicken, so Shinji's making some mushroom soup instead." Giving her a small smile, Big quietly said "No, I don't eat anything with poultry, but thank you and Shinji for being considerate."
Walking in to the living room, Little asked him "Big, what exactly happened?" He could only shake his head, replying "I'm not sure. I was fine one moment, yet the next thing I know I…..I'm not sure what exactly I saw, but if was if I saw some fat guy in my mind." Ritsuko and Misato, more concerned than ever, turned to Little who said "Could be some kind of psychic attack against him. Big's not the strongest in terms of mentality, yet I don't think he's ever pissed off anyone with psychic powers and the only one who we know personally is our niece." The two women raised their eyebrows at Little, basically calling 'Bullshit' as Little added "Ok, technically she was Delilah's niece, but she was also close to Big because they both liked classical music, flowers, and card games for some reason." The two quickly started to chuckle, as Big muttered "It's called Duel Monsters!" Instead, the 3 started laughing as Big muttered "Fuck you guys."
Eventually, after a few minutes, Little wiped a tear from her eyes and asked "So getting back on topic, you said you saw a man going through your mind, correct?" Big, however, shook his head and replied "No, he wasn't going through it, though for some reason I could have sword he was just acting stupid. It was as if he was just going through different scenarios like not understanding a science show meant for kids or destroying his own living room because of the results of a football game, or even making fun of a homosexual couple because he thought they were from Texas." Little scratched her head, confused, as she rhetorically asked "So a fat guy, playing different scenarios, suddenly entered your head and caused what might have been similar to a psychic attack, yet he wasn't attacking you directly, correct?" Big weakly nodded, further confusing all of them.
"Soup is ready" Shinji announced, as he brought a small tray with a bowl of mushroom soup, a spoon, and a small piece of bread with some orange juice. Big quietly said "Thank you, Shinji" as he put the tray in front of Big, who slowly sat up. However, as Misato smiled and rubbed the boy's head, a knock was heard at the front door. Then, the sound of a nasally woman outside asked "Hello? Anyone home? We know someone's home because your car is parked outside." All of them confused, Misato asked "Who the hell is that on a Saturday morning?" Big shrugged, not sure as he said "I don't know. There's no other houses in this area and the closest neighbor is at least a few blocks away." Taking a deep breathe, then sighing, Little decided "I'll take care of it" as she walked towards the door, but not before turning towards them and asking them three "Please keep an eye on him, ok?" They nodded before Ritsuko replied "Of course", as Little turned towards the door and walked towards it.
"Something strange is going on, that's for sure" Big thought to himself, as he put a spoonful of soup into his mouth.
"Now Peter, remember to be nice this time so we don't have a repeat of our last neighbors, ok?" Lois asked him, almost as if scolding him, before Peter crossed his arms and replied "Ok, ok, I get it." Lois crossed her eyes but accepted his answer as the door open. To their surprise, they found a humanoid pink bird wearing simply a white shirt with blue jeans as she asked them "Can I help you?" Before Lois could open her mouth, Peter ended up asking "So did you get kicked out of Texas for dressing like a guy or do you just like dressing like you enjoy the company of whatever your female race is?" Lois, upset, turned to Peter and told him "Damnit Peter, I told you to behave." Peter, taking a step back, said "I was just asking an honest question."
Getting annoyed, the bird known as Little rubbed her temples before saying "Look, if you're done trying to piss me off, my brother's sick so please fuck off." Little was about to shut the door when Lois waved her hands and said "Sorry, so sorry about that. See, Peter has a hard time trying to behave himself with frea-er-others." Knowing what word she was about to say, however, Little narrowed her eyes and told her "Yea, sure," in a rather sarcastic manner. Attempting to defuse the situation, Lois said "How about we start over? I'm Lois Griffin and this is my husband, Peter. We're your new neighbors from right next door." Confused, Little asked "New neighbors?" Pointing to their right, Little turned to that direction to see their house just a few feet away. "That's not possible" Little thought to herself, adding "I remember that was a vacant lot where the footing was too weak to support a house, so when the hell did that house suddenly appear? Also…." Beginning to acknowledge Peter's presence, Little thought "Big said he saw a fat guy going through random scenarios in his head. It's a damn random occurrence, but all this happening at once is too much to ignore."
Deciding to play it by ear, Little announced "I'm Little, nice to meet you", though in the back of her mind she thought to herself "Not really, though." At that moment, Lois took a good look at Little's clothes and said "You know, I have to admit your clothes do look more like they were made for a man, so how about we make it up to you by taking you clothes shopping?" At the mere mention of the words 'clothes shopping', though, Little winched and said "Um, thanks but no thanks. Now, I really need to get back so nice meeting you both. Bye." And with that, Little closed the door.
"Bitch" Lois muttered under her breath, as she and Peter started walking back towards their house as she asked "How is it we now have a state that allows freaks to live with people?" Peter could only shrug as he replied "Well I don't know Lois, though it could have been worse like that time we met Andy Dick."
(Cutaway)
Having snuck into the cast area of the set of 'Sharknado 2', Peter and Lois looked around until they found the trailer for Andy Dick, as Lois asked "Remember the plan, Peter?" He nodded, replying "Steal his crack, got it."
Once the two opened the door, however, they found Andy Dick in only his underwear rolling all over the floor while with a crazed looked. Looking at each other uncertainly, they quietly closed the door and left.
(End of Cutaway)
By the time Little got back inside, she saw her brother have what looked like another mental attack, but this time it was less severe as he only panted while Shinji took his tray away. As they waited for Carlos and Sara to arrive, all Little, Misato, Ritsuko, and Shinji could do was stand watch as Big returned to sleep.
By the time Big had awakened, he noticed Carlos looking into his ears, apparently wearing glasses yet noticed no blood. He also saw Sara with a look of worry, uncertain as well as to the situation. Little had told them about the images Big had seen whenever he had the attacks, yet they had no clue what to make of it, though Carlos had a theory. "Um, dad, what are you doing?" Big asked, as Carlos replied "Just relax. I wanted to confirm something." Once he finished, Carlos took his glasses off and turned towards everyone, announcing "I think I know what the problem is." Crossing her arms, Ritsuko openly said "I still think we need to get him a cat scan. It might tell us what's wrong with him." Carlos shook his head, disagreeing, as he told her "A cat scan won't tell us why Big's having mental attacks like these, yet I think that might help with an idea I have in mind to fix this. Also, I might know why." Waving a hand to get him to talk, Little asked "How so?" Carlos smiled and replied "I think it's an unexpected side effect of his new form, maybe even before then."
Everyone seemed confused, as Carlos explained "As you might recall, just before Shinji, Misato and Ritsuko were ejected from Eva Unit 01, Big was covered with a large amount of LCL, correct?" They all nodded while Ritsuko briefly blushed, recalling their first meeting ending with her landing on top of Big and his face in her cleavage. Ignoring it, Carlos continued "We already know that the LCL Big ingested had traces of the Evangelion's cells which bonded with his own. What we didn't know, and this is just a wild guess, but when Big used his new form for the very first time, it may have also given Big the ability to sense threats from other dimensions." Little, taken a bit back, asked "Is that so? How does that explain the psychic attacks?" Carlos smirked before replying "It explains quite a bit, because they're not attacks. They're someone's overactive imagination that Big's able to sense because it's affecting reality." Carlos rubbed his temples before saying "Then again, that's just a theory I have."
Afterwards, Big was taken to the base and was given a cat scan. A quick scan of his brain revealed what Carlos felt was correct, that for some reason he was picking up imaginary scenarios or events that never happened. As such, Carlos asked for Little and Ritsuko's help in building something to keep them out of Big's mind.
Meanwhile, inside a waiting room, Sara could only sit and fiddle her thumbs while Misato had fallen asleep and Shinji just sat there, bored yet worried as well. "Do you think he'll be ok?" Shinji asked her, causing Sara to snap out of her daze, as she turned towards Shinji and muttered "Um, what again?" Shinji, a frown on his face, asked once more "I was wondering if he was ok?" Sara gave Shinji a small smile and replied "Look, Shinji, I'm just as concerned as you are, but I'm sure whatever they're doing to help him will at least make things easier on his skull." Shinji soon faced the floor and said "I hope so."
Not more than a few minutes later, Big exited with Ritsuko as Sara looked up and asked "So? What did Carlos do exactly?" Big smiled before turning around and showing a new hair band hiding in his hair while holding all of it in a bundle. "That's it?" Sara asked, a little annoyed before adding "He just made a hair band?" Big chuckled, but before he could say anything Ritsuko was the one who replied "Thanks to several cat scans, we were able to detect the signal that caused Big to have his mental attacks. As such, this 'hair band' as you call it, was built specifically to block out the signal from Big's head. No signal, no attacks, no problem in short." Adding to it., Big said "Also, it can be worn while exposed to water or in bed and can survive up to 3000 PSI." Confused, Shinji asked "Psi? What's that?" Ritsuko chuckled before replying "He means PSI Shinji, it's short for 'Pounds For Square Inch'. Basically, it's the measuring of pressure applied to a square inch in simple terms." Sara, curious, now asked "So, now that we got everything settled, how about we test it out? Try going through the rest of the day, and if you don't feel anything then you should be ok." Big, worried, replied "I guess it would be a good idea to try it."
After waking Misato up, Big proceeded to leave with Shinji, Misato, and Ritsuko while Carlos prepared to leave his office when Sara playfully grabbed his ear and asked "Where do you think you're going?" Carlos chuckled as he replied "Oh, well, it's still the weekend and I thought I'd…." Sara, however, gave Carlos a predatory smile and said "Oh, we're not leaving anywhere yet. You still owe me for earlier, remember?" Carlos began to sweat as Sara brought her head closer to his ear and asked "Remember baby? When you released your seed all over me? Well, I want a repeat of it but inside this time." Sara grabbed one of Carlos' hands and placed it under her skirt, rubbing her panties as she whispered "In your office, now!" As Carlos began to sweat some more, Sara lead them back into his office, then closed and locked the door, as the sounds of moaning were heard while Sara screamed "OH FUCK YES!" minutes later.
Back at the Griffin house, the family sat together in the living room except Lois, as the TV announced "We now return to the Adventures of Segata Sanshiro."
(Cutaway)
A group of kids are entering the living room as one of them is celebrating a birthday. "Thanks mom", the child, a young boy around the age of nine said towards his brunette mother, adding "I can't wait to see what it is." The boy, holding a small package, prepared to open it when the door was suddenly kicked down. Everyone turned towards the door to see a man in a while martial arts uniform as the children began to cry while shouting "Segata Sanshiro."
Almost instantly, Sanshiro began to assault the children one at a time, leaving each one with bleeding foreheads or blood escaping from their mouths before grabbing the mother and puts her through the table. Looking at his handiwork, Segata drops a Sega Saturn in front of them before announcing "You must play Sega Saturn."
(End of Cutaway)
"I don't know why, but all of a sudden I wanna play with a Sega Saturn" Peter announced as Lois entered the room and announced "Ok everyone, since we're in Florida we might as well go to one of their malls and window shop while quietly making fun of the whole state." Everyone groaned, as Lois put her hands on her hips and said "I don't wanna hear it from any of you. We're doing it and that's final." Everyone groaned again, as Peter complained "But Lois, you know how I am with malls. Remember the last time I went to the mall with Chris and Stewie?"
(Cutaway)
People at the Quahog mall began running into the stores as Peter began driving through the mall, destroying booths, the food court, and several displays before parking in front of the theatres. "See? Found a perfect spot" Peter told his boys, as Chris quickly got out of the car while Stewie facepalmed and told himself "So this is what it's like to hang out with idiots."
(End of Cutaway)
Begrudgingly, the Griffins entered the red Vista-Cruiser and began to drive to the nearest mall possible. As they did so, no one began to notice a large purple crack beginning to form in the sky.
"Bullshit" Ritsuko called, chuckling at Big as everyone began to walk around Dolphin Mall before asking "You mean to tell me there was an old show about a high school teacher who wore on a ridiculous costume that gave him powers, yet was a complete goofball and you were actually looking for the DVD set?" Big smiled before replying "It was one of the first shows I ever watched when I came to Earth, and I thought it was pretty good." Ritsuko playfully narrowed her eyes before letting a laugh out as she said "And that explains your bad taste in television, just like in clothing." Being taken aback, Big looked at his clothes (a simple grey shirt and dark blue jeans) as he asked "What's wrong with my clothes?" Locking an arm with him, Ritsuko smiled and replied "They're boring. Today, I'm treating you to a clothing trip rather you like it or not." Ritsuko winked at him while kissing his cheek, as she then whispered into his ear "Who knows, maybe I might buy some lingerie while I'm at it." In turn, Big's face went madly red with a blush.
Deciding to push the envelope a little more, Ritsuko decided to give Big a predatory smile as she whispered "Maybe I might get some toys for the bed as well." At this point, Big could have sworn the little breathing holes on his beak were about to bleed, as he asked "T-Toys?" Wanting to go a little further, she replied into his ear "Oh, you know: sex toys. Who knows…" Giving him a playful hip bump, Ritsuko added "Maybe I'll let you help me with a few, if you know what I mean." By that point, Big's nose literally began to bleed as she chuckled while giving him a playful wink. Then again, as the scenarios began to play in both their minds, Ritusko couldn't help but think to herself "He's too easy".
Little, behind them with Shinji and Misato, rolled her eyes while she took a spoon of raspberry ice cream into her mouth. "Are they always like this?" Little asked them, as Shinji nodded while Misato crossed her arms, a shopping bag in one of her hands, as she replied "They've been like this since Big got her to open up about Tokyo-3. Everything about what Gendo did to us, everything that happened with NERV, SEELE, and the JSSDF. She's my best friend, but he was the one who got her to cry, to smile, and most importantly to forgive herself for her past." Little, another scoop of ice cream in her mouth, quietly chuckled, as she said "Just like with Delilah, alright." Looking at her, Shinji asked "Um, Little, we keep hearing about her, but what was she like?" Taking another scoop, Little replied "She was a sweetheart. Big adored her, Casey and Falco loved her, and whenever all four of them were together it was like the world didn't exist. They were always happy together, and when Big & Delilah got married I'd hope that all the adventures, all the times we've saved the world, all the battles, they'd all be over."
Eating another scoop, a tear began to escape Little's eyes as she wiped it before saying "That only lasted less than 5 months. Delilah got pregnant around the holidays, only a few weeks after they were married, and in just one day everything went to hell when Big was forced to watch them die." Feeling a hand on her shoulder, Little turned to see Misato be the owner of said hand, as she said "I know how you feel. When my father died, and later Kaji, I was in a bad place too. Ended up drinking a lot of beer, put the kids in danger on a constant basis, and the one time I decide to act responsible I ended up getting shot." Curious, Little asked "How did you deal with it?" Misato gave a small smile before replying "I had Shinji." She turned towards Shinji, who gave a smile of his own. In a way, Little began to see how much of an influence they had on each other, as she told herself "So it's not just fooling around with these too. They both have a genuine love for each other." Little could only smile as Misato blushed from Shinji's smile before her eyes suddenly darted towards the end of a hallway where there were automatic doors and a dining area past it, restaurants around and a red Vista-Cruiser about to jump over the curve.
"Um Big, do you sense that coming?" Little asked, as Big stopped, his eyes narrowed, as he replied "I don't just sense it, I can hear it coming." At that moment, people quickly ran out of the way as the car drove through the doors. "Shinji, could you hold this for me?" Little asked him, as she handed Shinji her bowl of ice cream before facing the speeding car.
To say Peter Griffin was an inpatient man would be an understatement.
To say he was a very dangerous man while behind the wheel was the equivalent of that.
As such, once he and his family arrived at the parking lot of Dolphin Mall, it didn't take long before Peter's frustration got the better of him as he told his family "Hold on everyone, I'm making us our own spot." Narrowing her eyes at him, Lois said "Don't you dare, Peter Griffin." However, Peter openly ignored her and said "Sorry Lois, but parking sucks, there's nothing close, and I just gotta do it. Besides, I'm sure no one will mind." As such, he began to drive the car directly towards the front door of the mall, crashing right through tables, chairs, and booths. "PETER WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?" Lois screamed, as Peter replied "It's Florida, no one cares."
By then, the car crashed right through the glass doors and the information booth, ripping it apart with the Ticketmaster booth, as people were forced to jump out of the way. "See? I told you we're gonna find the best spot inside…." Peter never finished that sentence, as something struck the front of the car causing it to suddenly jerk to a stop while the airbags deployed, hitting Lois and Peter's faces. "Ugh, what was that?" Meg muttered, her head hurting as it hit the driver's seat. "I don't know Meg" Lois replied, as she added "It's was as if we hit a brick wall."
The very next second, however, it became clear just what stopped them "GET OUT OF THE FUCKING CAR!" Lois and Peter shook their heads, confused, as their respective doors were ripped open while they were both pulled out of the car and found themselves face-first on the front hood of the car with Little and, what appeared to be her twin, pushing them down. The male one, a humanoid blue bird wearing a grey shirt and dark blue jeans, had Peter in an arm bar as he announced "Sir, at this time I'm placing you under arrest for destruction of private property, endangering civilian lives, disturbing the peace, and assault with a deadly weapon." Peter began to struggle as he shouted "Cars aren't weapons you stupid freak." Resisting the urge to hit him, Big the Bird openly announced "And just for struggling, I'm adding resisting arrest. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say or do will be used in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney….."
As Big read Peter his Miranda Rights, Lois turned towards Little and said "Do something. I mean I know my husband is an idiot, but even this is…." Lois soon stopped, noticing a large dent that all but destroyed the front of the car. "What did that?" Lois muttered to herself, as Little narrowed her eyes while she replied "I did, and that's only a bit of what I can do." Lois started to fake laugh, not believing her until a woman with blond hair and wearing a green blouse and light blue jeans told her "She's not kidding, that you can trust me on." Stopping her laugh, Lois turned towards the woman and said "Madam, I'm not interested in how many credit cards your father left you to get a GED." In turn, the woman known as Ritsuko replied "I never knew my father, and I have 3 PHDs. Bite me." Narrowing her eyes, Lois then told her "A piece of paper that you drew with crayons doesn't count." Before Ritsuko could continue, Little turned towards Lois and said "Despite her appearance, Ritsuko's a lot smarter than she appears. Now shut it. You're in enough trouble as in, let alone your husband." Forcing a sigh, though, Lois told her "Trust me, Peter's done much worse than this like the time he had to go to court."
(Cutaway)
Peter, in a suit while his family stood on the other side of the wooden barricade, stood before the judge who announced "Mr. Griffin, you have been found guilty of multiple counts of DUI, destruction of city and state property, vandalism, disturbing the peace, assaulting the elderly, illegal cockfighting, stealing, robbery, kidnapping the Pope, and plane hijacking. Mr. Griffin, do you have any last words before I give my sentence?" Peter adjusted his suit before replying "Fox." The Judge didn't get it, as he announced "I hereby sentence you to up to 50 years in a state federal…."
The Judge never finished his sentence, as the Bailiff soon came up ad whispered something into his ear. "Are you fucking kidding me?" The Judge asked him, as the Bailiff slowly nodded. Turning back to Peter, the Judge ruled "It seems Mr. Griffin has close ties to the Fox network. Therefore, I am forced to give you a minimum sentence of seven days in a county jail." As a response to this, Peter jumped into the air while shouting "YAY!"
(End of Cutaway)
"Well, what happened?" Little asked, as Lois seemed confused. "It was in the cutaway. What, you didn't see it?" Lois asked, leaving everyone confused. "Cutaway? What is that?" Ritsuko asked, as Lois muttered "Dumb blond" before another woman, a purple haired lady wearing a black dress and shoes with a red sleeveless jacket, stared an eyehole at her and said "Watch it." Roping an around Ritsuko's head, Misato announced "Ritz here has been my best friend since high school." Once again narrowing her eyes, Lois asked "So are you pretending to be smart also, or are you her secret gay lover?" By that point, they all looked at Lois as Big quietly muttered "Madam, please shut the fuck up."
"Oh, why don't you shut up!" Lois turned towards Big and demanded him, as she added "We can probably just fix all the damage with a jump cut." Confused, Big asked "What's a jump cut going to do to fix almost a million…"
(Jump Cut)
To everyone's surprise, all the damage suddenly disappeared from the mall. All the booths had returned, all the tables and chairs destroyed reappeared as if they were never driven through to begin with, the electrical glass doors had reappeared, the skid marks left by the car had vanished, and the damage to the vista-cruiser disappeared as well yet the car was still inside the mall. "See? No damage, no charges" Lois announced, as she demanded "Now let my husband go or I'll press charges." Reluctantly, Big was forced to release Peter, who rubbed his arm before walking towards Lois. By then, the kids and their dog exited the car and walked towards Peter and Lois, as she said "See Peter? You got lucky this time." Peter could only look down in shame as Lois then turned to Little and said "And just for that little skirmish, you can pay for clothes shopping." Little once more winched as she said "Sorry, no money." Peter then noticed her bowl of ice cream that a young boy in a white buttoned shirt with a black undershirt and black pants had, as she retrieved it from him and asked "Where did you get the ice cream?" Little smiled as she replied "That's my secret."
"Whatever, if you wanna dress like you're sexually confused, then go right ahead. We're gonna enjoy our day. Feel free to join us when you're ready to apologize." Lois told her, as the Griffin family left. As they did, Little muttered "What a bitch" as Big seemed lost yet confused. "How was it that they were able to do that?" He muttered, as Little blinked and said "Do what? Rewrite what happened around us the minute before?" Big nodded as Ritsuko told them "It seems strange when you think about it: The mental attacks Big went through this morning, new neighbors, and now this. Do you think it's possible that there's more to that family then what we see?" They all nodded, as Big told Little "I think you were right." They all looked at him, confused, as Little asked "I was right about what?" In response, Big said "When you said it was possible something else came out of the hole Eva Unit 01 created in time and space, I think you were right: somethingwent through."
At that moment, everyone began to worry, yet the day would only get weirder from there.
True to her word, Ritsuko dragged Big into clothing stores while Little laughed. However, while the first few stores lead to constant laughing from his sister, Big was forced to try buttoned shirts, slacks, ties, and jackets. Afterwards, thinking she was done, Ritsuko had him wait outside a store while she went in.
At first, it didn't seem like anything different, noticing clothes and random party toys as Misato and Shinjji seemed confused, yet Little whispered to them "Wait for it" while chuckling. Even Big, who just barely heard them, wondered what she meant. By the time Ritsuko came out, her face was completely red as Big asked "You ok?" She seemed a bit worried and said "I saw that bitchy woman again from earlier. She was alone this time." She hesitated before continuing "Apparently, she was looking at the sex toys in the back." Big's eyes widened, as Ritsuko asked him "Do you think it's just me, or is their marriage seriously messed up?" That got him out of his stupor, as he chuckled before she whispered "Oh, and I picked up a few for tonight." He stopped laughing, his face red once more.
After she felt Big had suffered enough, and with Little having laughed several times over, Ritsuko and Misato suddenly grabbed Little's arms as they stopped in front of a women's clothing store. "What the hell is this?" Little asked them, annoyed, as Misato told her "Since you had fun at your brother's expense, now it's your turn." Before she could complain, Misato grabbed Little's 2nd bowl of ice cream and handed it to Shinji, asking him "Could you be a dear and hold this, Shin-Chan?" Shinji took it as Ritsuko told them "Why don't you two go hang out? We'll be a while", and before Little could protest, she was pulled into the store as she shouted "GET ME OUT OF HERE."
Once Little was dragged in, Big and Shinji looked at each other as Big asked him "Wanna see a movie?" Shinji kind of shrugged before replying "Sure, I guess. What kind of movie did you have in mind?" Big sighed himself as he said "Well, The Greatest Showman is out of theatres by now, but I heard there's a film with a lot of good music and some pretty cool visuals." Looking at him surprised, Shinji asked "Really? What's it called?" Big smiled before replying "It's called the Black Panther." Deciding to give it a watch, Shinji followed Big to the movie theatre.
As this went on, Misato and Ritsuko were outside one of the dressing room, as they impatiently waited for Little to come out, only for her to refuse. "Aw, come on Little. You'll look great" Ritsuko playfully pleaded. In response, Little replied "Fuck! You! Both!" Getting a small laugh out of it, Misato soon said "Little, it's just us three. No one else here knows you as well as we do." Little, however, shouted "NO WAY AND NOT HAPPENING!" Misato, not wanting to give up, shouted towards the other side of the door "Little, come on. Big and Shinji aren't here and no one's going to judge you for dressing different." Taking a moment to sigh, Little muttered "Fine" as she finally came out of the dressing room crossing her arms while wearing a white blouse with a loose pair of brown pants, a yellow belt around her waist, and small gemstone earrings. Shock quickly became grins as Misato said "Damn Little, look at you." Adding to that, Ritsuko said "You look great." Blushing slightly, Little asked "R-Really? You don't think I look stupid?" Standing up and putting her hands on her hips, Misato smiled and replied "Stupid? Little, there's an old saying 'If you've got it, flaunt it', and trust me, when you're not wearing street clothes you've got it." Uncrossing her arms, Little gave a small smile from her honesty.
"Well, look at you." They suddenly heard, as the three turned towards the direction of all the other customers and saw Lois walking towards their direction. "Oh god, not her again" Little thought to herself, as Lois told her "You don't look like you're a closet lesbian anymore. Now you look like an actual woman looking for a date despite not being human so you're chances of that are actually pretty low." Enraged, Little openly shouted "FUCK YOU AND THESE CLOTHES" as she slammed the door shut and began undressing back into her regular clothes. Upset themselves, Misato and Ritsuko got up and looked at her as Misato asked "What the hell, lady? Do you have any idea how hard it was to get her to at least try and get her to wear that?" Lois narrowed her eyes as she replied "Imagine being the mother of my daughter, then you can talk." Lois pointed to the next dressing room as her daughter, Meg came out wearing tight jeans that hugged her hips while they were low enough to show her belly. "So, what do you think mom?" Meg asked her mother. In turn, however, a man who sat waiting for his girlfriend screamed as he seemingly pulled a gas canister out from nowhere, covered himself in gasoline, and then lit himself on fire with a match.
"OH MY GOD!" Ritsuko shouted as the man quickly fell to the floor and wrapped himself in the fetal position, accepting his death. Instead, Misato took her jacket off and began to beat the fire on the man several times before finally suffocating the remainder of the flames. "What the hell is wrong with you?" Misato asked the man as she told one of the employees to call an ambulance. Little, just as quickly, stuck her head out and asked "What happened? Everything ok?" In response, Ritsuko replied "You don't want to know", yet she wasn't aware if Little would believe her after what had just happened.
Meanwhile, as this happened, Big and Shinji sat down in the movie theatre as they began to watch Black Panther. Unfortunately for them, so too did Peter, Chris, Stewie and Brian. To make matters worse, as the movie played, Peter refused to stay quiet.
During the beginning of the film, when they spoke of Wakanda's history, Peter would say "Yep, this is something Cleveland and Jerome would watch."
During Killmonger's backstory, Peter would say "Yea, that neighborhood looks like there's a lot of drugs and break-ins all the time."
During scenes introducing the audience to the music of Africa, Peter would try to sing along only to fail miserably. Then, Chris would ask "How come they can't just play a guitar or something?" before standing up and yelling "PLAY SOME REAL MUSIC!" At that point, Big would stand up and shout "SHUT UP!" In response, Chris threw a bag of popcorn at Big and shout "SHUT UP FREAK" as he would sit down with some form of accomplishment while Big sat down, annoyed and offended.
During the scene in which T'Challa would accept an open challenge from royalty, Shinji quietly asked Big "How come they won't face him? Isn't he just openly allowing anyone to fight?" Big shook his head before replying "It doesn't work that way. Technically, the open challenge is for royalty from any of the five tribes." Not more than a second later, however, Peter stood up and openly announced "I am Peter Griffin of Quahog and I accept." Big rolled his eyes, dumbfounded by his stupidity, as Peter added "After all, I'm royalty just like my great-great-great-grandfather King Peter the Eighth."
(Cutaway)
King Peter the Eighth sat in his throne and announced "I am the king of England. Let it be known that there is no king greater than me." At that moment, a member of his court entered and announced "The forces of Vlad the Impaler are coming." King Peter shrugged his shoulders and said "Let him come. He shall see what a real king looks like."
The very next day, King Peter was executed by the forced of Vlad, a large piece of sharpened wood shoved up his ass and piercing through his neck.
(End of Cutaway)
During the scene where T'Challa met his father in the spiritual world, Peter would say "So that's what heaven looks like for Africans." At that point, Big finally had enough as he stood up and shouted "WILL YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP?" Before Peter could say anything, however, Big added "SHUT UP! HAVE SOME FUCKING RESPECT FOR GOD'S SAKE AND SHUT UP!" Done with his rant, Big sat down as Peter narrowed his eyes and said "What a jerk."
"Wow" Stewie said, as he told Brian "Not that many people can shut the fat man up." In turn, Brian looked at Stewie and added "If I know Peter, he's just getting started like that time he pissed off Usain Bolt."
(Cutaway)
As Usain Bolt began training to prepare for the Olympics, he stopped for a moment to see Peter behind a fence, apparently holding a sign that says "If whites can't jump high, I bet you're impotent." Enraged, Usain began to run towards Peter, who immediately dropped the sign as Usain quickly scaled the fence, caught up to Peter, and proceeded to kick his ass repeatedly while Peter tried to force himself to run faster.
(End of Cutaway)
For a short time, Peter stayed quiet until the car chase scenes, in which case he really began to annoy Big and Shinji by trying to sing along to the music before giving up and shouting "THIS MUSIC SUCKS!"
At that point, Big quietly told Shinji "Stay here, I'll be right back." Shinji nodded as Big left the theatre for a moment.
When he returned, they had arrived at the interrogation scene as Big returned to his seat while a theatre attendee went up to Peter and said "Excuse me sir, but you're disturbing the patrons and I'm afraid I'll have to ask you and your family to leave." Noticing Brian, he soon asked "Sir, did you sneak a dog into the movie theater? Is he even a service dog?" Peter replied "Well, he was a service dog a few years ago, so it counts right?" The attendee shook his head and replied "No, it doesn't. Sir, you need to leave now." Peter, standing up and stepping away from the seats, then asks the man "Then allow me to ask you sir, are you aware of a particular rule that overrules you? A word, you might say?" Not sure if the man in front of him was sane or not, the man asked "Sir, what word are you talking about?" Peter finally replied "Well, I'm taking about how the bird is the word." By then, Stewie openly shouted "AW, DAMNIT!" as Peter began to sing the 'Bird is the Word' as the attendee just as quickly joined in.
"Oh, fuck this!" Big finally muttered, as he and Shinji simply became fed up with Peter's stupidity and left the movie theatre altogether, not bothering to finish the film.
"So let me get this straight" Little said, as everyone stopped at the food court, taking a bite out of her sandwich as she added "A man willingly lit himself on fire in front of the Griffin family's daughter, while the husband managed to get a theater employee to dance with him, yet nothing seemed weird about it to either parent or children." They all nodded, as Little scratched her chin before deciding "This just keeps getting weirder and weirder with this family." Misato sighed before adding "Hate to say it, but it's almost like they live in their own world with their own rules." They ate quietly, each one just as confused to the recent events, as Big pondered "Do you think it's possible, given everything's that happened, that they might not even be from this dimension?" At that moment, everyone simply stopped, as Big added "Think about it. First, their house appears on a vacant lot with weak footing. Then came the mental attacks. All of a sudden, we see somewhere around millions of dollars' worth of damage caused and erased within a second, plus a man willingly attempt suicide & another just lose his mind all within one day alone. Coincidence?" Finally standing up, Big announced "No, I don't think so."
Putting her fork down and ignoring her salad, Ritsuko slapped the table and stood up, as she said "He's right! This family has already shown it can rewrite the fabric of reality. What's to stop them from erasing it? Or even worse, destroying all of reality?" At that moment, Big's cell phone rang as he answered "Hello? Dad, what's wrong and why do you sound out of breathe?...Yes, I am asking. You sound like you're having breathing problems. Do you have bronchitis again?…WAIT WHAT?" Big suddenly threw his chair aside and ran to the nearest door leading to outside the mall, as everyone seemed confused until they followed.
Once outside, they all looked up and saw, in horror, that several glowing cracks of pure purple light were forming in the sky above. "Little, what is that?" Shinji asked him, worried himself, as Little shook her head before replying "Sorry kid, but I don't know." Big, however, blinked only once before replying "It's reality itself. It's beginning to break." Turning to him, Ritsuko soon announced "We need to get back to the base. I need to examine this thoroughly." In agreement, they all nodded.
And, as they began to run back into the mall and towards their car, something slowly began to exit from the crack: a tentacle.
"Damnit Peter, I can't believe you destroyed an entire video game store just to find a Nintendo." Lois scolded at her husband, as Peter countered by saying "Hey, I was just looking for a Nintendo, not what they were trying to sell me."
(Cutaway)
Peter entered a GameStop and asked one of the employees "Excuse me, but I'm looking for a Nintendo. Do you know where I can find it?" The employee smiled and replied "Well sir, we just restocked on Switches." Peter seemed confused and said "No, I want a Nintendo, not a Switch. What is that, anyway?" The employee replied "Well sir, the Switch is a hybrid home/handheld console that you can play just about anywhere." Peter narrowed his eyes, more confused than ever, as he said "Sir, I don't want a handheld. I want a Nintendo. You know, grey box, cables, controllers, game cartridges, all that stuff. Where are they?" The employee closed his eyes and scratched his head before taking a deep breathe. He then replied "Sir, aside from the NES Classics, which sold out by the way, they've been discontinued since the mid-1990's." Peter then took a deep breathe.
Not more than a moment later, Peter left the GameStop as the entire store was on fire.
(End of Cutaway)
Putting her hands on her hips, Lois then said "Well you're lucky they agreed not to sue because of your disability. Otherwise, that freak's brother would have tried to arrest you again." Peter snarled before replying "If he tried, I would have kicked his ass. He just got lucky last time." At that moment, he saw Big, Little, and their friends run right pass them towards another exit as Chris told Peter "There he is dad. Go kick his ass." At that moment, however, Big suddenly came to a complete stop, Little and Ritsuko quickly taking notice.
"Big, what are you doing?" Ritsuko asked him, as Big replied "You guys go ahead back to the base." Turning around to face the Griffins, Big added "There's something I need to do here." Turning towards her brother, Little asked "Are you sure? We need to take care of that crack in the sky. We can deal with them later." Big, however, shook his head as he told her "No, I need to stay and confirm something. Little, you're the only other one who can lead them back to the base. Now please go. I won't ask again." Little hesitated before she turned to leave, as Ritsuko quietly asked "Gut feeling?" In response, Big said "Something like that. Now please go. You'll be safe with Little." Ritsuko, rather in fear or concern, frowned as Big quietly said "I'll be ok, Ritsuko. Now please, go." Big gave her a small smile, as Ritsuko finally turned to leave. As Big turned towards the Griffin family once more, Peter came up to him and said "Alright freak, I'm here to kick your ass in front of my family." Big narrowed his eyes, annoyed, as Peter added "Yea that's right, you're a dead man….freak….whatever you are. I'm gonna kick your ass like that time I beat up John Cena."
(Cutaway)
Having snuck into the recent backstage area, Peter carried with him a bat as he stopped in front of a door that said the name "John Cena". Peter prepared to swing as he said "Ok Cena, time to kick your ass for being a Buccaneers fan." However, as Peter soon on the door and shouted "John Cena, I'm here to kick your ass", the door opened and…..
(Cutaway Interrupted)
"KNOCK IT OFF!" Big suddenly shouted, as Peter stepped back and asked "What the hell? You can't interrupt a cutaway gag." Big, however, stared at Peter dead straight into the eyes and said "Oh yes I can, because this is MY dimension, not yours, and thanks to your cutaways you've damaged reality so badly that cracks have begun to appear in the sky." Peter puffed before saying "I say you're full of it. In fact, I think you're scared to fight me." Peter puffs his chest before announcing "Now get ready to get your ass kicked." Peter throws a punch at Big, who easily grabs his fists, then twists his arm before trapping Peter in an arm lock. "You know what? I tried being nice. Now, we do this the hard way." Peter attempted to struggle, as Big easily dragged him outside while the Griffins followed.
Once outside, however, Lois demanded "LET GO OF MY HUSBAND RIGHT NOW!" Big, however, ignored her as they made it outside before Big pointed at the sky. Lois, at first, didn't notice it as she screamed "IF YOU DON'T LET GO OF HIM RIGHT NOW, I'LL…." At that moment, Lois stopped as her mouth hung open while they began to notice the cracks in the sky getting bigger. "Holy crap" Peter announced before asking "What the hell is that?" Turning towards him, Big narrowed his eyes in rage before replying "THAT is what happens when you use cutaways in a dimension where reality works differently than in your world."
Suddenly, one of the cracks began to open up, revealing the head of a large reptilian monster as it popped out of the crack and roared. "Oh shit" Big quietly muttered as he let Peter go.
By the time Shinji, Misato, Ritsuko, and Little returned to the base they saw Carlos and Sara at the main control room, their eyes simply stuck to the screen and terrified beyond belief at what they saw. "Carlos, what's going…..WHAT THE HELL?" Little suddenly looked horrified herself at the sight before her on the screen: A large, four-legged, reptilian creature with dark green skin, a long tail, and a second mouth apparently on it's back as it opened to reveal several long tentacles. The creature, forcing itself from one of the cracks in the sky, landed on the ground on it's feet as it began its approach towards the mall.
"What is that thing?" Misato asked, yet everyone shook their heads. "Not sure" Little said before adding "But it's possible that creature came from either another dimension or from somewhere in between dimensions." They all began to wonder until Ritsuko suddenly asked "Little, tell me: Do you think it's possible that this creature found it's way here because of the Griffin family? Because they can rewrite the fabric of reality without a second thought? Or do you think it's here because of us? Because we came here through 3rd Impact and Eva Unit-01?" Little scratched her head yet could only shake her head and replied "No, I don't think so. If it were because of that, this creature would have possibly shown up earlier." Ritsuko soon brought her head down, possibly worried as she quietly said "Yet the worst part is that we left Big there to deal with it alone. What if he gets hurt again?"
Before Little could reply, it was Carlos who turned around and faced her as he replied "If I know my son, he'll be ok. After all, he's not alone." At that moment, everyone stopped and looked at Carlos, as he smiled and said "He's got us. Now then, let's send that thing back to hell." Everyone smiled as Misato soon asked "Say Ritz, by any chance is Unit 01 ready to go?" Ritsuko turned towards Misato and replied "Well, I've managed to repair the armor casing as well as the entry plug and completed the neural interface. That being said, I still haven't been able to replace the internal batteries with a more compatible version, nor have I even had a chance to work on Shinji's new plug suit. Also, aside from not having tested anything, we still have no weapons for the Eva that have been finished, yet alone started." Misato sighed, crossing her arms as Shinji asks "Um, Dr. Akagi, isn't it possible to pilot the Eva without any testing?" Ritsuko crossed her arms before replying "Honestly Shinji, under normal circumstances I wouldn't ever consider it. In this case, however…" Ritsuko trailed off and returned her attention towards the screen, noticing that Big had begun to battle the creature. Without turning back towards them, Ritsuko added "…There might be no other choice."
"Then it has to be done." Carlos finally muttered, as Sara and Little looked at him with Sara asking "What does?" Carlos sighs before replying "We have no idea of the creature's overall power nor of the threat these cracks in the sky present to us. Adding to the fact the cracks also create a signal that block out any contact to the League, nor has there been any Ultramen in a few years, we have no other choice." Taking a deep breathe, Carlos announced "Launch Evangelion Unit 01!"
"I'm starting to wish I could become Tiga again!"
Big began to think to himself once again as he flew directly towards the creature, his arms becoming swords covered in fire and electricity as the creature launched tentacles at Big, only for them to be chopped into pieces. The creature roared, either in pain or annoyance, yet continued on it's path as Big thought to himself "Ok, this clearly isn't going to work. Time for Plan B." As such, Big quickly grabbed the creature's tail and began to pull it back. Enraged, the creature roared as it tried to push forward, only to be pulled back farther.
"Incredible" Stewie muttered, as Brian looked at him and asked "What? What's incredible?" Stewie looked at him, annoyed, and replied "Well Brian, it's obvious that the creature is a physical manifestation of every cutaway gag that's occurred in our dimension. However, unlike our dimension, this one has different properties, thus different rules. As such, whenever we created a cutaway in this dimension, it was the same as creating a trail of crumbs to lead the creature here." It was now Brian's turn to narrow his eyes, as he told Stewie "That's just ridiculous. If that's true, then how did it get here and what's with the cracks in the sky?" Stewie could only shrug his shoulders, replying "Honestly, I'm not sure myself Brian. This is far beyond anything I've ever seen, but my best guess confirms what that humanoid bird said: The cutaways we've created in our short time here have damaged the very fabric of this dimension, creating a hole in the process for the creature to enter here." Brian soon asked "If that's true, then why didn't it ever appear in Quahog? Why here?" Stewie took a moment to think, but as he suddenly noticed Big lift the creature into the air and throw him a few feet away, he finally replied "Because there was never a hole nor a rip in space and time for it to come out. It's out now, and I'm willing to bet it'll be hungry for the main course: Us!" At that moment, Brian was now in complete terror as Chris looked at him and shouted "STOP TALKING TO THE BABY! IT'S JUST WEIRD!"
At that same moment, seeing what Big just did, Lois turned to Peter and asked "Do you still think you can kick his ass?" Peter simply replied "Yea, I can still take him. After all, I'm just as tough as my great ancestor Peter Kong!"
(Cutaway)
A giant ape-like creature with Peter's face quickly climbed over a mountain and roared at a large octopus, before adding "Ehehehehehehehehehe, I'm a giant monkey." Peter Kong soon began grabbing the octopus' tentacles, ripping them off, and eating them one at a time.
(End of Cutaway)
The creature suddenly began to roar once again, saliva clearly evident as it began to drip from it's mouth, as it began to charge towards the mall once more. "Oh no you don't" Big announced, as he held on to the creature's tail once more. The creature roared yet again, as Big told the creature "Under normal circumstances I'd try to have a normal conversation, but it's clear you have no interest in wanting peace. So, let me make this clear: THIS WORLD IS PROTECTED!" Big quickly dragged the creature back once more, but this time the creature's frontal mouth opened, releasing a large tongue that shot out towards the mall. Big's eyes opened wide, as he shouted "NO" as it came closer….
….yet it stopped as a large foot stepped on it, stopping it's momentum. "What?" Big asked himself, shocked, as he looked up to see a large robotic being in purple with green highlights with it's yellow eyes turning towards Big. "Eva Unit 01?" he asks, as the Eva nods. Big soon asks "If it's here, who's the pilot?" Hearing a buzzing noise from his pocket, Big pulled out an earpiece and attached it to his left ear, as someone he wasn't expecting to hear from asked "I got here as quick as possible. Everything ok?" Big's eyes widened, as he asked "Shinji?" The robot nodded, as the creature attempted to pull it's tongue back.
"You!" Shinji shouted from inside the Eva, as he faced the creature and added "You ruined my day off with my loved ones, and now you're threatening my home! Just for that, I WON'T FORGIVE YOU!" Urging the Eva to charge, Shinji pressed the controls forward, as the Eva removed its foot from the creature's extended tongue and tackled it to the ground, forcing it onto it's back. Shinji soon roared in furious anger, as the Eva began to punch the creature's face continuously.
"Incredible" Big told himself, as he added "Shinji's figured out how to disable both of it's offensive capabilities. Clever kid." Watching on as the Eva pounded away at the monster, Big quietly thought to himself "With a little training, he might make a good hero. Gotta wok on that temper and those punches, though."
"So they have giant robots here…." Stewie muttered before adding "Cool! This is more exciting than…." Stewie suddenly stopped himself, recalling the reason all of this was happening before saying "Oh wait, nope. Cutaways are what caused this. Never mind." Peter, however, had yet to realize this, nor did he even pay attention to Stewie's earlier explanation nor even Big's reveal of the evidence, as he said "Giant robots? Now this is awesome, like the time I drove a giant robot into…." At that moment, despite the distance, Big shouted "SHUT UP!" Peter, however, ignored him and said "Like the time I drove a…" Again, Big shouted "DON'T YOU DARE!" Peter looked at him, as Big stared a hole into Peter, who proceeded to extend both of his middle fingers before rapidly saying "Likethetimeidrovearobotintospace!" Enraged, both Big and Stewie shouted "DAMNIT YOU IDIOT/FATMAN!"
(Cutaway)
Having knocked out Amuro Ray with a lead pipe, Peter entered the cockpit of Gundam RX-78-2 and flew it into space while having set his phone to play the theme song of 'Flash Gordon'. "THIS IS THE GREATEST DAY OF MY LIFE!" Peter shouted, before he suddenly found himself surrounded by both the forces of the Zeon and the Earth Federation as he muttered "Fuck."
(End of Cutaway)
At that moment, the creature's tongue suddenly began to move as it charged and quickly wrapped around Peter. "WHAT THE HELL?" Peter suddenly shouted, as the tongue quickly pulled him away. Looking at this, Big thought to himself "To be fair, he deserved this, but…." His mind trailed off back towards the moment, as he chased after the tongue only to be too late as it retreated back into the creature's mouth.
Meanwhile, as the Eva stopped swinging and admired its handiwork, Shinji panted as he told himself "It's over!" However, as the tongue retracted into the creature's mouth, both Big and Shinji could only watch as it swallowed the entirety of Peter Griffin whole. "Well, that was weird" Shinji muttered to himself, before the creature suddenly jerked it's head up and roared, forcing Shinji to back the Eva up away. The creature suddenly began to rise and stand on its hindlegs, as it's body began to change while using it's front two legs to hold it's head in agonizing pain. "What in the hell?" both Big and Shinji thought as the creature's body began to evolve.
The creature, once a four-legged reptilian with a second mouth on it's back, quickly fused it's second mouth into it's back altogether, while it's body altogether suddenly reshaped itself into that of Peter's stomach with the creature's head now re-shaping into Peter's head, hair, glasses, and butt-chin included. The creature, now a human/monster hybrid, finally announced "I am Peterzilla, the King of Quahog! Now hear me roar. Ehehehehehehehehehehehehehe!" At that moment, both Big and Shinji muttered "Oh crap!"
"Well I never thought hell would freeze over, but it finally happened" Stewie muttered before adding "The fatman's finally screwed the pooch, for a lack of terms." Brian turned towards Stewie, his eyes crossed, as Stewie took notice and said "Not literally." Still with his eyes crossed, Brian said "Yea I got that, but what did you mean by 'Peter screwed the pooch'?" Stewie, unsure himself, replied "I'll make it simple for you: The fatman has basically become the living embodiment of reality breaking. In short, we're all shit out of luck." At that moment, Chris turned towards them once again and shouted "I JUST TOLD YOU TO STOP THAT! BABIES CAN'T TALK!" Turning towards his father, Chris then shouted "GO DAD! KICK THAT FREAK'S ASS!"
As for Lois and Meg, the younger of the two asked "Do you ever wonder what would have happened if dad wasn't our dad and things like this never happened?" In response, Lois sighed before replying "Every single day, Meg."
Meanwhile, Big and Shinji, still inside Eva Unit 01, looked at the newly transformed Peter (now referring himself as 'Peterzilla') as Big narrowed his eyes and asked "Peterzilla, really? I'm sure Godzilla himself would be a bit pissed at that." In response, Peter laughed and said "Wow, you really are stupid. Everyone knows Godzilla's just some guy in a suit." Turning towards his family, he openly shouted "HEY GUYS, THIS FREAK REALLY IS STUPID! HE THINKS GODZILLA'S REAL!" At that moment, Big's rage began to boil while Peter's older son laughed at him.
At the same time, somewhere in the oceans of Japan, a rather large creature with dorsal fins on it's back fluttered its eyes for a moment. For a moment, he could feel as though some new enemy to his turf dared to mock him. At the same time, however, he could also feel the rage of an old acquaintance facing this new threat. Deciding to let his old friend deal with the threat himself, the King of the Monsters returned to his sleep.
At that same moment, Big could literally feel anger growing. This idiot dared to mock the King of the Monsters, that alone was punishable by death. However, Peter decided to push his luck, asking him "Do you also believe in ghosts? The boogeyman? Aliens? I mean really? Are you that stupid? You must be dumber than me, and I'm retarded." As Peter ran his mouth, Big began to shake, the rage boiling to the point he finally asked "Do you think this is a joke?" At that moment, Peter stopped as Big continued "Do you think everything that comes out of your mouth makes you funny? Makes you sound so smart that you can tell us all how superior you are? Well let me tell you a thing or two about people like you." At that moment, Peter's eyes narrowed as he said "Yea whatever. You're as boring and predictable to talk to as…." Big, however, interrupted him by shouting "SHUT UP!" This time, Peter stayed quiet as Big announced "People like you come and go every single day, yet each time you always do the same damn thing: You talk as if the world revolves around you, then you try to fight when you realize there's someone who refuses to acknowledge your self-proclaimed superiority, and when you realize he's not going down and there's no way you can win, you'll try to beg. Well, here's the problem…" Showing a stern face, Big finally shouted "I HATE PEOPLE LIKE YOU!"
Unfortunately, Peter soon made the mistake of saying "Yea, and I hate giant chickens but at least I don't complain about it. I mean you're just as bad as Cleveland with hot sauce." Peter waited for a moment, expecting something to happen, yet nothing did. "OH COME ON" he shouted to no one in particular before adding "THE WRITER COULDN'T COME UP WITH ANYTHING?"
(Cutaway Gag)
The writer of this story proceeded to extend the middle finger.
(End of Cutaway Gag)
"Aw whatever" Peter muttered, only to feel a large punch to his face, as Peter quickly fell to the ground. "Shut up!" Shinji announced through the EVA, as Peter only sat up before announcing "Ok kid, I've beaten up other kids your age and I do not have a problem with it either." Growling, Shinji simply announced "Then you're nothing more than a child abuser!" Eva Unit 01 rushed towards Peter and swung it's right arm, but this time Peter caught it with his mouth, crushing the fist and causing Shinji to scream.
"Mother fucker" Big quietly growled to himself, as Peter began punching Unit 01 repeatedly, causing it to drop to it's knees yet Peter continued to punch Unit 01, announcing "Do you think I like doing this to a kid? Honestly, yes, but you deserve this because you hang out with freaks!" At that moment, Peter felt as if something had hit HIM rather hard, knocking him to the floor while Eva Unit 01 fell as well. Groaning for a moment, Peter sat up and asked "Okay, what the hell hit me?" It didn't take any longer than a second for the answer to present itself: Big the Bird, fist clenched, stared at Peter with murderous intentions. "I tried being patient, but with a complete idiot like you, all bets are officially off" Big finally announced as Peter growled and said "I said I was gonna kick you ass, and I mean it." Flying towards Peter, Big's battle finally began.
"Well, it finally happened" Little muttered before adding "Big's finally pissed off."
At the same time, though, Misato shouted "SHINJI" and looked on in horror as Peter punched Unit 01 repeatedly until Big's interference. That look of shock instantly became that of horror as she began to think to herself "What the hell is going on? How did Big actually do that with just one punch?" Turning to her left, she saw Ritsuko with a similar look of shock in horror. "I'm willing to bet Ritsuko's thinking the same thing as me: Just who or what exactly is Big?" Before either one could say anything, Sara turned to them and said "I think you recall Big once told you he was never human. He and Little were not born of this planet." They turned towards Sara, as Ritsuko asked "That can't be possible. Big and his sister must be mutated by some unknown means. After all, wouldn't that make more sense?" Unfortunately, Sara, Little and Carlos shook their heads before Carlos replied "No, it wouldn't. Remember that this dimension is much different from the one you come from. The rules are different with all beings, as are the laws, the people, and the threats that appear. Overall, you never know what will happen."
Turning towards Little, Carlos asked "Little, can you head back and check up on Shinji? I think our new problem might have either knocked out his communication system or just him." Little rolled her eyes before replying "Sure, whatever" and left.
Looking at Little leave, Misato asked "Are you sure she can get to Shinji in time?" Sara smirked before replying "Don't worry about Little. She's tougher than she looks."
(Line Break)
For Peter Griffin, he once learned from the 1998 Godzilla film that 'size does matter'. To him, it meant that if you were the bigger person going into the fight, it simply meant that you were the stronger person, thus you were the greater threat.
Unfortunately for him, Peter had either forgotten or ignored something very important: As he swung at Big, who easily dodged and hit Peter in the gut with such force that he winced in pain, he had forgotten that while the bigger individual might be stronger, the smaller one might be faster.
What he also didn't recall was despite the size difference, Big was much stronger than he appeared as he hit Peter in the gut once more, this time causing him to cough up blood. Grabbing his gut, Peter swung at Big once more, and once more Big avoided it, this time getting behind Peter and kicking him in the back of the head, causing Peter to fall to the ground once more. Holding his head in pain, Peter muttered "Son of a bitch won't hold still." Getting up, Peter demanded "Hold still and fight me, you son of a bitch!" Floating in front of Peter, Big crossed his arms and asked "Give up yet?" In response, Peter roared and swung at Big several times, each one missing as Big easily flew out of the way without breaking eye contact with Peter. "Hold still, you bastard!" Peter demanded, yet Big continued to dodge each swing, as Peter began to slow down considerably to a crawl.
By the time he finally stopped, Peter began to breathe heavily while Big could only smirk before finally saying "Looks like you're done. I'm willing to bet you don't work out, plus adding to the monster's previous form with your own physical attributes, you've exhausted yourself." Peter, beginning to get angry once more, tried to swing once again, but this time Big brought up his right hand and caught it, causing Peter to groan in frustration before trying to pull it away.
Unfortunately for him, Big wasn't letting go as his smirk became a frown before he openly announced "I'm done playing." The next thing Peter Griffin knew, he was screaming in pain as Big's left arm became a blade covered in electricity before cutting Peter's left arm. As Peter looked on in horror, Big easily dropped the arm onto the floor as Peter shouted "GET AWAY FROM ME YOU FREAK!" In response, Big easily swung his left arm and swung at Peter, cutting him right down the middle as the two halves of the now deceased Peterzilla fell to the ground separately from one another. "That's all folks" Big muttered as his bladed arm returned to normal.
The Griffin family could only hold their mouths in shock as Big easily killed Peter in his much larger form. "Mom, is Dad dead?" Chris asked, as Lois was still in shock before slowly replying "I….I think so, Chris." Chris soon began to cry, as he said "I can't believe dad is dead." He soon looked at Big, who simply looked down at his handiwork, before shouting "FUCK YOU FREAK! I HOPE YOU GET SHOT IN THE HEAD!" Though, as Chris grieved, Meg quietly muttered "Good riddance."
At the same time, Brian turned to his left to see Stewie looking at the sky not clearing up. "Um, Stewie, what are you doing?" Brian asked, as Stewie turned to him, a concerned look in his eyes, and replied "I'm analyzing our recent predicament. The fatman's been defeated, yet the sky hasn't cleared up and the cracks haven't disappeared. If I didn't know any better…." Stewie stopped himself before looking back at the sky and concluded "….I'd say the worst is yet to come."
Meanwhile, as Little flew towards Unit 01 and landed, she attempted to find the entry plug but to no avail. "Damn, where the hell is it?" Little asked herself, yet began to notice that the sky had not cleared up nor had the cracks disappeared. "I don't get it" Little told herself before adding "Big killed the monster, yet everything is still the same. Why?"
A loud crack of lightning would soon be a symbol of what was to come.
Looking through the mess, Big soon found what he was looking for: the tied-up body of Peter Griffin covered in tentacles and guts inside the body of the monster "So that explains how he took over" Big told himself before adding "The creature needed a pilot, and apparently Mr. Griffin was who it was looking for. Question is why him? What's so important about this human in particular?"
"FUCK YOU FREAK! I HOPE YOU GET SHOT IN THE HEAD!"
Big turned to the left and saw the Griffin family simply stare in shock, all except for the older son who he deducted shouted at him. Rolling his eyes, Big told himself "Been there, done that." He soon began to hear a new voice, almost sounding like that of a throat gurgling water. Turning towards the sound, Big began to notice the innards of the body beginning to launch tentacles towards the other half, pulling both halves together while re-sealing the body into one and re-trapping Peter's unconscious body inside. "What the hell?" Big muttered, as more tentacles began to reach out from the remains of the left arm and grabbed at the half that was cut off. As it was pulled back towards the body and re-attached with ease, Big began to think to himself "It's healing itself. Even after death, so long as Mr. Griffin is inside that creature, he'll be able to heal from even death."
As the creature fully healed it's body, it began to rise as the skin began to change color to dark red with scales added to its skin and spikes now attached to its tail and back. Opening it's eyes, the creature announced "I AM PETERZILLA 2.0!" In turn, Big facepalmed, telling himself "Oh god, not again with him." Peter roared as he announced "I am now more powerful than ever before. I'm even more powerful than Superman outrunning a train."
(Cutaway Gag)
"Faster than a speeding bullet!"
A gun is fired, as Superman reaches its target, a bullseye painted to a wall, milliseconds before the bullet does.
"More powerful than a locomotive!"
Superman proceeds outrun a train while carrying a large container full of gold.
"Able to leap tall buildings with a…."
The narrator stops as the next scene shows Peter beating Superman to the ground while wearing brass knuckles made of kryptonite. After several moments, Superman is left knocked unconscious while his head is bleeding. As Peter lets his head go and allows it to drop to the floor, he announces "That's for Superman 4."
(End of Cutaway Gag)
"Well, I didn't see that coming" Stewie muttered, as Brian looked towards him and asked "Didn't see what coming?" In response, Stewie said "Fatass evolved."
Big could only look on as Peter's mouth was suddenly beginning to spew black flame. "Oh no" he muttered, as Big quickly brought up a green barrier in front of him while Peter opened his mouth and released a stream of black fire towards him, pushing forward as Big groaned while attempting to keep the fire from going forward. Eventually though, Peter's flame diminished as did Big's barrier with Peter exclaiming "Wait, you can do that too?" How come you won't fight me? What, you scared of me like a scardy freak? Huh? Is that it?" Moving aside to show him, Big's face returned to anger as he showed a nearby neighborhood and replied "If I had moved, you would have hurt those people nearby." Finally floating close enough to face Peter eye-to-eye, Big finally asked him "In your pursuit to try and beat me, don't you care one tiny bit about the people nearby? The ones who get hurt because of this senseless….." Big never finished, as Peter's hands finally crushed him with Peter saying "Finally shut him up. Man, this freak's more annoying than those rock bands that only sing one word repeatedly and call it a song."
(Cutaway Gag)
A heavy metal rock band began to play loud music while the lead singer kept singing "UGH, FEELINGS" repeatedly, causing the entire audience to head bang to the point they began to accidentally hit each other until the floor was covered in their blood.
At the building next door, though, inside an apartment, young Stewie Griffin stuck his head out and shouted "HEY, WILL YOU TURN THE MUSIC DOWN? SOME OF US ARE ON VACATION AND TRYING TO SLEEP!"
(End of Cutaway Gag)
To Peter's surprise, however, his hands suddenly began to open up revealing Big forcing them open. "Seriously? Do you not die?" Peter complained, as Big replied "Sorry, too stubborn to die." Peter attempted to force pressure in an effort to squash Big yet failed as his hands came together and created a large sonic boom with Big moving out of the way in a split-second hovering above Peter's head. Peter soon waved his hands over his mouth, blowing them in an attempt to soothe the pain, while Big decided "Enough is enough. I'm ending this now!" Turning both his arms into blades, his right one on fire, Big flew down and swung at the crown on Peter's head, slamming down on it as hard as he can.
Yet only a small cut appeared, as Big quickly flew back and turned his hands back to normal while massaging his right wrist, thinking to himself "It shouldn't be possible, but this creature learns. It's increased its durability to the point I can't cut it." Big quickly moved out of the way, as one of Peter's hands attempted to grab him but only hit himself in the head instead. "OW" was all Peter said, as Big realized "I can't hurt it, but he can hurt himself." As such, Big flies in front of Pete's face and shouts "HEY FATASS, I'LL GIVE YOU A FREE SHOT. TRY AND HIT ME!" Getting enraged, Peter attempts to slap Big away, but in a split second Big quickly moves and this causes Peter to hit himself in the face instead, causing him to reel back. "WHAT'S THE MATTER?" Big shouted, getting right in front of Peter again, adding "TOO FAST FOR YOU?" Enraged even further, Peter swung once more, but the same moment as before happened: Big moved out of the way, and Peter would hit himself, becoming more enraged each time.
Little chuckled as she saw her brother's new strategy against Peter, telling herself "I guess Big's got this all wrapped up." However, as she turned to the Griffin family still outside the mall, she could see Chris shouting words of encouragement towards his dad and wondered "How can someone be proud of their father if he's the one responsible for all this damage?"
Little suddenly noticed a hooded trench coat figure walking towards them, revealing what seemed to be a clawed right hand, all black with red claws, as Little sensed something horrible from him: an evil she has never before faced, yet there was something rather familiar from it. Seeing the figure pointing it's claw towards Big, the figure's claws began to glow with an omniscience of black and red energy and fired directly at Big as Little looked in horror and shouted "BIG, LOOK OUT!"
Turning around, Big suddenly lurched backwards as the beam went right through his chest. In the surprise, the next thing he knew Big was slammed into the ground.
The very next second, Peterzilla slammed his entire foot onto Big's body as he screamed "AND THE WINNER IS PETERZILLA!" From nearby, as Chris celebrates, Little can only look on in horror as she screams "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Enraged, Little flew directly towards Peter and shouted "YOU BASTARD!"
Meanwhile, the mysterious figure chuckled and muttered "Let's see you survive that, hero" as he turned and walked away, disappearing in the distance.
At the same time, Shinji began to stir.
As this new battle began, Carlos slowly collapsed onto his knees as Sara grabbed his arm and tried to stand him up, whispering into his ear "I'm sure he's ok, but have some faith."
The same could not be said for Ritsuko, who began to feel her skin turn ice cold. "He….died?" she muttered, as Misato could a hand to her shoulder and replied "I don't know Ritz. I just don't know."
"YOU'RE GONNA PAY!" Little shouted, as she continuously punched Peter's skin while adding "YOU'RE GONNA PAY FOR YOU DID TO MY BROTHER!" However, Peter could only yawn as each punch did nothing more than annoy him. After all, if her brother couldn't break through his skin, what chance did she have? "You wanna give up yet, female freak?" Peter muttered, as Little continued to punch away, not caring at what cost she would have to pay. Even as her fists began to bruise to the point of bleeding, she would not stop as Little grinded her teeth and said "For my brother, I'm not going to let you get away with your actions." As Little continued to swing, Eva Unit 01 soon began to rise once more, this time holding it's right hand in pain. "You want some more?" Peter asked, as he brought his right hand up and flicked Little away, sending her flying towards the mall as she crashed into the top floor.
Little groaned as she slowly got up and held her ribs while watching on as Peter's mouth began to spew black flame again. Realizing what was coming, Unit 01 brought up it's AT Field as Peter fired a stream of black fire towards it, colliding with the AT Field as Unit 01 attempted to push back before the power of Peter's attack pushed it directly into Unit 01's chest, causing sparks and blood to release from it before it fell to the ground, as Little could hear from her ear piece the sound of Shinji screaming. "Shinji, no" Little murmured to herself as Peter roared "PETERZILLA WINS AGAIN!" Beginning to growl, Little soon heard cheering once again. Walking towards it, Little soon reached the hole she came from and heard the cheering of Chris Griffin as he shouted "YAY, DAD! I KNEW YOU WERE BETTER!" Posing like Superman, Peter turned to his family and replied "Of course, Chris. As you know, sometimes beating up freaks is a tough job, but it's absolutely necessary."
"No, it isn't."
The entire Griffin family looked up and saw Little, as she exclaimed "You know nothing of this world or it's people, and you sure don't know how hard it is to live in a dimension where humans are the majority, yet as long as people like me and my family are around we'll always do what we can to make it a bit safer for everyone. We might fall and sometimes we might fail, but in the end we'll keep trying no matter what."
During Little's speech, two important things began to happen as she spoke.
Peter actually groaned in annoyance and took his foot off Big's supposed dead body.
And the second: Big's eyes slowly began to open as something in his pocket began to glow in white light.
"Listen lady….freak….whatever you are" Peter announced, as he said "In case you haven't noticed, you can't hurt me because you are a girl. Even if you could, you can't beat me because I'm stronger than you." Growling, Little replied "What do you know about being better than anyone? Let alone being a decent person? Me and my family might be different, but at least we've show we care. What about you?" Peter, crossing his arms, replied "I'm human and you're not. That's the difference." Little chuckled, as she made it perfectly clear "Oh, really now? You don't look human to me. So again, what's the difference?" Peter opened his mouth, yet never had a chance to answer as a glow of light suddenly appeared from under him. "Eh? What the…?" The ground suddenly exploded, forcing Peter to fall onto the ground.
"PETER!" Lois shouted, as the entire Griffin family looked on. "Big?" Little asked herself, as they could only look on and see what would happen next.
"Carlos, what's going on?" Sara asked, yet Carlos said no in return as he looked at the screen.
"Sir, what's going on?" Misato asked, yet again Carlos said nothing.
"Hello?" Ritsuko asked, as she waved a hand in front of Carlos' face and shouted "HEY! WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?" Yet again, he said nothing.
Then, he simply muttered "He's back."
For a few tense moments, nothing happened.
"Mom?" Chris asked Lois, once again unsure before asking "What do you think happened?" Lois could only shrug her shoulders.
Soon enough, another glow of light appeared, as Peterzilla reappeared. However, this time he was on his back and being carried by a new challenger: a large multi-colored titan with a metallic head and glowing eyes. Its entire body was colored in red and purple stripes with silver hands, and yellow stripes on the chest with a blue orb on its chest. With unexpected strength, the titan threw Peter not more than a few feet away as he landed on his back while the titan entered a fighting pose.
Looking at this, Little smiled as she said "Looks like my brother has regained the light. Welcome back, Ultraman Tiga."
Getting to his feet, Peter growled at Tiga and said "Ok you jerk. I've had enough. First it was some freaks, then some kid in a giant robot, and now you. So you know what? I'm gonna kick your ass, then go home and fuck my wife." Roaring at Tiga, Peter charged forward only for Tiga to leap forward, grapple with him, and this caused both of them to fall to the ground. Once down, Tiga quickly jumped on top of Peter and began to pummel's his face with multiple shots to the head and chest. Peter, however, quickly rolled the two around until he was on top as he grabbed Tiga's throat and his mouth began to cover itself in black flame. "Prepare to die" Peter announce, though his mouth was muffled due to the black flame, as Tiga managed to use his right leg to lift Peter over him and onto the ground. Getting back to their feet, Peter fired his black flame at Tiga, who brought his hands to his chest before opening them wide in a hugging formation, creating a multi colored barrier that stopped the attack. Continuing the attack, Peter attempted to use the same effort as before on Tiga, yet he held his ground as Peter barely muffled "Gonna….kill….you…." before he suddenly stopped spewing flame. Grabbing his throat, Peter attempted to spew more fire, yet nothing as he fell to one knee and began dry coughing.
"It looks like this fight might be coming to an end" Stewie told Brian, as he added "It seems he's finally run out of steam, so to speak." Stewie began to chuckle, only for Brian to cross his eyes and mutter "No, just no."
As a result of that, Chris finally hit Brian over the head, knocking him onto the ground and shouted "STOP TALKING TO THE BABY! IT MAKES YOU LOOK CRAZY!" Hitting Brian over the head again, Chris then said "NOW I LOOK CRAZY! ARE YOU HAPPY? HUH? ARE YOU?" As a result of that, however, swinging towards Brian's head, this time his fist was caught by Little, who had quietly made her way down towards the ground floor. As Chris tried to get away, Little refused to let him go as she muttered the words "Stop. Hitting. The. Dog."
Meanwhile, somewhere in Burbank a black and white creature with a red nose and wearing long brown slacks opened the door to the infamous WB water-tower, stuck his upper body out, and shouted the words "GOODNIGHT, EVERYBODY!"
As Peter began to get up, Tiga drew his arms back, then brought his arms forward, drawing light towards him as he separated his hands into separate directions, creating a line of light.
Getting to his feet, Peter looked at Tiga and said while panting "No way….I am….going…to lose…to you." Peter began to walk towards Tiga, who brought his arms together into an L-style position and fired his Zepellion Ray towards Peter, hitting Peter in the chest and causing sparks to appear from his chest and causing Peter to scream in pain for not more than a few seconds. Once the attack subsided, Tiga uncrossed his arms as Peter held his chest before falling to one knee and muttering "Fuck it, you win" before falling to the ground and exploding. Standing victorious, Tiga began to notice the sky starting to clear up as the cracks in the sky began to disappear. Noticing this, Tiga looked up into the air and took off.
"I guess that wraps things up here" Little said, as Meg and Chris were shocked while Lois sighed and said "Well, there goes another town Peter destroyed" before she and her family suddenly began to disappear. "Wait, what's going on?" Meg asked, as Little could only shrug while Stewie replied "Well, since the monster was destroyed while the fat man was trapped inside, it's possible that either we're being returned to our rightful dimension or we'll soon be dead." A second later, before fully disappearing, Brian turned to Little and asked "So, can I call you?" only for Little to cross her eyes and reply "Not in hell." Brian could only look down in shame as Stewie turned to him and said "Shame on you."
A moment later, the entire Griffin disappeared as Lois flipped off Little and told her "Thanks for being such a bit…" She would never finish that sentence, finally gone as Little smiled and sarcastically said "Sorry, didn't catch that."
Little, however, didn't notice as a small item fell from the cracks in the sky before they finally disappeared completely.
"So, you're telling me" Ritsuko began, as she and Misato faced Carlos before finishing her question "That titan was actually Big?" Carlos nodded before replying "Yep. A while back, Big inherited the light of Tiga and became one of the Ultramen. Unfortunately, after the passing of the kids and Delilah, Big lost that power for a short time." Turning back towards the screen, Carlos smiled and said "But now, it looks like he got it back at a pretty good time." As Carlos smiled, Misato whispered towards Sara "Um, hey Sara, is this whole Ultra-whatever thing a good thing or not?" Sara turned to her and quietly replied "I don't know much about the Ultramen, but if Carlos and Big trust them then I guess I can trust them too."
"What is that?" Carlos suddenly asked, his eyes still fixed on the screen. Turning towards it, Sara also began to notice the small item fall from the sky.
Meanwhile, somewhere in Quahog on Spooner Street, a familiar house began to reappear in its original spot along with it's cars. Seconds later, the Griffin family minus Peter reappeared in front of the house. "…ch" Lois finished, only to realize she was back on Spooner Street. Releasing a sigh of relief, Lois put a hand to her chest and said "Oh thank god, we're back in Quahog." Looking at her mother, Meg asked "How exactly did we get back here? We were just in Florida. Plus, what do you think happened to dad?"" Shrugging her shoulder, Lois replied "I'm not sure Meg, but whatever happens we'll face it as a family." Staring at her with a stern face, Meg looked at her mother and asked "You have no idea, do you?" In response, Chris joined his mother in replying "Shut up, Meg."
"Stewie, what DID happen?" Brian asked him, as Stewie turned towards Brian and asked "Why are you asking me? Controlled dimensional traveling is one thing, but this was completely spontaneous." Scratching his chin, Stewie added "My best guess is: When the monster was destroyed while the fatman was inside, it created a chain reaction returning us to our original dimension." Brian soon asked the most important question he felt needed to be asked "What about Peter? Is he still alive?" Stewie could only shrug his shoulders as he replied "Honestly Brian, I don't know. As you recall, the fatman was still inside the monster when it was destroyed. More than likely, he's probably…." Stewie never finished as Peter suddenly appeared, yet landed on top of the vista cruiser. "Ow" Peter muttered, as he asked out loud "Why do terrible things happen to good people like me?" while Lois crossed her eyes as Stewie rubbed his temples and muttered "Never mind, he's alive."
Meanwhile, back in Big's dimension he reunited with his sister Little as the two gathered near Unit 01 as she asked him "How are you feeling?" Big moaned before replying "Exhausted, but I'll live. You?" Little nodded, as the two looked at Unit 01 before Big said "We'd better get Shinji out before we head back to the base." Little nodded as the two began to walk forward before a loud KLUNK sound was heard. "Huh?" The two asked, as they turned around to see a small scroll land on the floor behind them. "What is that?" Little asked, as the two looked at each other and shrugged before walking over to it. Picking it up, Big proceeded to open it and looked as an illustration of 3 swords surrounding a person dressed in metal armor and long white hair. "Who is this?" He mutters, as Little looks at it as well before saying "Honestly, I don't know."
Meanwhile, somewhere in another dimension (in Japan), a man covering his appearance in a large robe entered a large room where the walls were decorated with lanterns and the middle of the room featured 3 tables, yet only two of them carried a sword each: One with a rusted blade, and a second with a purple and white handle. "Soon" he muttered before announcing "Soon I will have the sword of death, and with the swords of heaven and earth I will have the power of the Dog Demon General to have vengeance on my enemies." Then, grinning, he added "Then, I will have THE WORLD!" After screaming those final words and laughing out loud, the man threw his head back as the last image seen was a large mural on the wall, that of the man in metal armor and white hair.
And with that, we FINALLY come to the end of this story. Hopefully, you guys enjoyed it and if you didn't then I do apologize. Anyway, next time there won't be any Evangelion characters as we move on to the world of Inuyasha. But before then, here's the plot for the next episode…..
In the world of Inuyasha, a corrupt millionaire seeks the swords of Toga, believing it will gain him access to his powers. Instead, not only does it cause a new rip in time and space, it also resurrects Toga as a seemingly unstoppable force of destruction. In order to stop him, Big must rescue the swords and battle the Inu no Taisho before he destroys the entire city.
Next Time: Swords of the Dog Demon General
Until next time everyone. Bye!