INT. IVY AND JILLY'S APARTMENT - THE NEXT DAY
Jillian is curled up on the couch, looking much better than the night before. Ivy is sitting next to her, with her bad at her feet. She just got home.
IVY
You should have told me that you were sick. I would have come home.
JILLY
I wasn't that sick.
IVY
Yeah, but you were all alone.
The bathroom door opens and Jeff Winger steps out wearing only a towel. Ivy's eyes widen. Jeff does not notice her.
JEFF
Do you have any sort of hair pomade? I can only find aerosols cans - Oh! Ivy.
JILLY
There's a putty in the bottom draw of the sink.
JEFF
Right. Ah. Thanks.
Jeff steps back into the bathroom.
IVY
Did you two?
JILLY
No. He gave me a ride home and made me a hot toddy.
IVY
He gave a sick person whiskey?
JILLY
And then he dealt with the consequences. He was sweet.
IVY
Sweet? Jeff?
Jilly shrugs.
INT. TROY, ABED, AND ANNIE'S APARTMENT
Abed Nadir is sitting in his armchair, watching television. Annie Edison sits in the arm chair next to him. Abed is looking at his phone, texting.
ANNIE
Everything okay?
ABED
Jeff spent the night at Ivy's place.
ANNIE
What? With Jilly?
ABED
Yeah. She was sick. Jeff took care of her.
ANNIE
Jeff? The guy who's bed avoiding the study group due to germs?
ABED
Yes. Oh. Ivy says not to tell anyone.
Abed looks to Annie, who's clearly upset.
ABED (CONT'D)
Don't tell anyone I told you.
ANNIE
I have to go.
ABED
Wait. Are you upset? I can't tell?
ANNIE
I'm not upset. I just have research to do.
INT. GREENDALE STUDY ROOM
Jeff Winger, Britta Perry, Abed Nadir, Troy Barnes, Pierce Hawthorne, Shirley Bennett, and Annie Edison are sitting in their perspective seats around the study room table. Ivy Reeds has pulled a chair between Britta and Abed. Ivy is drawing something.
At the study room table, Troy Barnes is sniffling. A box of tissues sits in front of him. Troy and Abed sniffle in unison and then do their handshake. Britta is creating a mixture into seven cups. It looks like dark green sludge.
BRITTA
Okay. So, my homeopath recommended this mixture to me. It's supposed to kick start your immune system.
JEFF
That's for our immune system?
PIERCE
It looks like it was in someone's system already.
Ivy glares at him.
PIERCE (CONT'D)
What are you so upset about? I should be mad at you. You cancelled our last two dinners.
IVY
You're dating my mom!
The group is shocked, except for Abed. Annie and Shirley gasp the loudest.
SHIRLEY
Pierce! You broke up that women's marriage?
PIERCE
Listen, if I wasn't ever with that women, Ivy wouldn't be here.
ANNIE
Pierce!
Britta sprinkles a small red herb into each cup.
BRITTA
I think that everyone who hasn't been sick should drink this. To boost their immunity.
JEFF
Yeah. No thanks.
BRITTA
It works! My homeopath has never steered my wrong.
JEFF
Then you drink it.
BRITTA
I was already sick. Doi.
PIERCE
Well, I think it's gross.
IVY
You're gross! I'll drink it.
The group exchanges looks. Britta is pleased. She slides a glass towards Ivy.
BRITTA
You just take it like a shot.
JEFF
I know you want to get back at Pierce, but poisoning yourself isn't the way to do it.
Ivy grabs the concoction and downs it. Her face pales and she looks a bit green.
ANNIE
Ivy, are you okay?
BRITTA
It's a little chunky, because I don't have a blender, but it will still work.
PIERCE
Ivy, your mother and I are going out to dinner tonight. We'd love for you to come. We'll have to take separate cars, obviously. Angela is coming back to Hawthorne Manor.
Ivy gags and races from the room with a hand over her mouth. She nearly knocks into Jillian McNeal as she enters. Abed stands.
ABED
Well, here begins the role reversal.
Jilly approaches the group and smiles at Jeff. He smiles back. Other than a slightly red nose, Jillian looks much better. Annie notices this.
JILLY
What's up with Ivy?
ANNIE
Jilly! I've been doing some research into your acting career.
Abed slides back into his seat.
ABED
(to Troy)
Dramatic plot twist approaching.
JILLY
Why?
ANNIE
I've just been interested in "All My Nights and Days." The lead, Terrence Grafton is so dreamy, don't you think?
JILLY
No.
ANNIE
You two dated for awhile, didn't you? Well, dated is a strong word. His wife filed for a restraining order. Isn't that why your character got killed off?
Jillian pales. She looks terrified.
ANNIE (CONT'D)
Mrs. Grafton said you were obsessed with her husband. Isn't that right?
JILLY
You don't know what you're talking about.
ANNIE
Did you write him some sort of letters?
Jillian runs from the room. She pushes past Ivy on her way out. The group can't think of a single thing to say.
IVY
What was that?
ABED
Annie just revealed Jillian's backstory.
ANNIE
Anyone who knows how to research could find that. Technically, her being a stalker is public knowledge.
IVY
A stalker?
ANNIE
She stalked Terrence Grafton.
IVY
(angrily)
Are you kidding me?
ANNIE
I just thought we should know who we're spending time with, right Jeff?
JEFF
Why are you looking at me?
ANNIE
Well, you'r the closest with her since you two are...you know.
JEFF
We're what?
IVY
That's what this is about? You want the backstory. Jilly dated Terrence for two years. He and his wife were separated for four years. Terrence and Jilly were talking about getting married. Terrence got back together with his wife unexpectedly. He broke Jilly's heart so she wrote him a goodbye letter, but the wife found it. She didn't know they were dating and demanded that Jilly leave the show. She's not a stalker. I mean, come on. I have to go find her.
Ivy runs out of the room after Jillian. The whole group turns to Annie.
BRITTA
Wow.
TROY
Damn. That was cold, Annie.
ANNIE
I didn't know it was like that!
Jeff gathers his things and raises.
ANNIE (CONT'D)
Jeff!
JEFF
What?
ANNIE
Where are you going?
JEFF
I don't want any part of this.
Jeff exits and the group begins to disperse. Annie looks close to tears.
INT. GREENDALE COMMUNITY COLLEGE THEATER
Jillian McNeal sits in a center row of the theater, alone. The lights our on but no one else is in the Theater. She is crying. Mascara is running down her face. Ivy Reeds enters and sits next to her.
JILLY
They're going to think that I'm crazy.
IVY
I told them.
JILLY
So? No one's going to believe you.
Jeff Winger quietly enters the theater. IVy notices him, but doesn't say anything.
JILLY (CONT'D)
We'll have to find new friends. Wait, Annie's pretty thorough. Do you think she told everyone? Oh my God. Do I have to leave in shame again?
Jeff takes the seat on the other side of Jilly.
JEFF
You don't have to leave in shame.
JILLY
Just embarrassment?
IVY
What's that? Oh! I think I hear...a reason to leave.
Ivy stands up and exits. Jillian scoffs.
JILLY
(calling after her)
I definitely need a new roommate!
JEFF
You don't have to be embarrassed of your past at Greendale.
JILLY
Are you about to say it's because you believe me? The truth is still embarrassing. God, I'm such a loser.
JEFF
No. You don't have to feel ashamed because you go to Greendale. Everyone's past is embarrassing here. No one came to Greendale because they haven't been stupid or awkward. We're all losers. It's how we got here.
JILLY
Please.
JEFF
Come on, I'm a fake lawyer. Troy faked a sports injury. Shirley's husband cheated on her with a prostitute. Abed thought and still thinks his life is a movie. Pierce is the prince of moist towelettes. And Britta? She's a vegetarian.
Jillian wipes at her eyes.
JILLY
And Annie?
JEFF
Did a horrible thing. She's not a bad person. She's just -
JILLY
Young?
JEFF
I don't know why she did it.
JILLY
Oh, come on. We all know why she did it?
JEFF
We do?
JILLY
She's jealous. I can't blame her. Who could resist the Jeff Winger charm?
Jeff smirks. Their eyes meet.
JEFF
You've got a little something -
Jeff gently brushes a tear from Jillian's face.
JILLY
And a whole lot of mascara?
JEFF
So much.
INT. GREENDALE STUDY ROOM - A FEW DAYS LATER
Pierce Hawthorne, Troy Barnes, Britta Perry, and Annie Edison sit in their respective seats around the table. There is an uncomfortable silence.
PIERCE
So... We're going to be weird today?
ANNIE
Are you all mad at me? I said I was sorry! I was trying to protect the group.
The group looks to one another.
PIERCE
I'm not mad.
TROY
Me either.
ABED
I don't think I'm mad, but Ivy's mad. Do the rules of relationships dictate that I have to be angry by association?
Abed looks around the table. No one knows.
ABED (CONT'D)
Okay. I'm not mad.
BRITTA
I firmly believe that women shouldn't turn on each other. THe only reason while we ever play petty games is because that's what men want us to do to keep us submissive.
The whole table groans.
BRITTA (CONT'D)
But...Annie's my friend. I can forgive her for falling victim to a system that has been going on for hundreds of years.
ANNIE
Good. And thank you all for understanding that I was just trying to protect the group.
The tables looks at one another. They hem and haw.
ANNIE (CONT'D)
What?
No one says anything until finally -
PIERCE
You were doing it because of your chemistry with the fancy lawyer. Which is dumb.
BRITTA
Because women shouldn't let men define us.
PIERCE
I was going to say because he's gay.
ANNIE
Whatever. Can we just study now?
ABED
Where's Shirley?
BRITTA
She called me this morning. One of her kids is sick. Somehow she blames me.
PIERCE
What about Jeff?
TROY
He texted me. He said and I quote "I have succumb to Typhoid Britta. I must be quarantined."
ABED
Ivy's sick too. She is not happy with our study group.
BRITTA
Why does no one think that I had to catch germs from someone else? I didn't invent the flu.
ABED
Huh. Annie and Pierce are the only ones left.
PIERCE
I'm safe. I got four flu shots. I have supreme powers anyway, as a level four laser lotus.
The group all turns to Annie.
ANNIE
I'm fine.
INT. OUTSIDE JEFF WINGER'S APARTMENT
Jillian McNeal stands outside the door of Jeff Winger's apartment, holding a take out container and a brown paper bag. Just as she's about to knock, Annie Edison walks up. She is holding a Tupperware container.
ANNIE
Oh! I didn't think you'd be here.
JILLY
Why? Thought you ran me out of town?
Jillian knocks on the door.
ANNIE
No! Look, I'm...sorry. I should I just talked to you. I'm just...protective. Of the group.
JILLY
Right. Look, it's okay. I guess. I mean, it kind of worked out.
ANNIE
What do you mean?
The door opens. Jeff Winger stands there, shirtless and with a red nose. He is sick, but still attractive.
JEFF
I told you that you didn't have to-
Jeff stops when he sees Annie.
JEFF (CONT'D)
Annie?
ANNIE
I brought you soup. It's homemade.
JEFF
That's nice of you.
JILLY
I can put it in the kitchen. I brought soup from the deli you love down the street and...
Jilly hands Jeff the bag. He peeks inside.
JEFF
Hot toddy?
ANNIE
You shouldn't give a sick person alcohol. It will make him feel worse.
JILLY
I'm not trying to make him feel better. It's revenge.
Jeff smiles at her. Jilly take the bag and Annie's soup. She walks inside.
ANNIE
Are you two a thing now?
JEFF
No! We're just...hanging out. Look, I'd let you in but you haven't had this yet. It's pretty nasty.
ANNIE
But you'll let her in?
JEFF
I know she can't get it. She gave it to me.
ANNIE
Right. Well. Feel better.
Annie starts to exit.
JEFF
(feeling bad)
Annie -
ANNIE
It's okay. Just feel better. I'll see you in a few days.
Annie exits. Jeff slowly closes the door.
INT. TROY, ABED, AND ANNIE'S APARTMENT - LATER THAT DAY
Annie Edison walks into her apartment, slamming the door behind her. Troy jumps out and covers her mouth. Annie wrestles away.
ANNIE
(loudly)
Troy!
TROY
Sshhh! Annie. Ivy's here.
ANNIE
So?
TROY
And sick. Stanley dropped her off.
Stanley enters from the other room.
STANLEY
You have to be quiet. Sick Ivy is monster Ivy. Give that girl a slight fever and it sends her straight to hell.
ANNIE
Doesn't she have her own apartment?
TROY
Abed's going to take her there as soon as she wakes up.
ANNIE
(to Stanley)
Why did you take her here in the first place?
STANLEY
I'm back on air. I have to cover for another weatherperson tonight. I didn't want her to be alone. I figured this fell under boyfriend territory.
ANNIE
That's nice and all but that doesn't mean I want you in my apartment.
TROY
Damn. What crawled up your butt?
ANNIE
Ugh. Nothing!
Annie storms off into her room. She closes the door quickly, as though slamming it, until the last second. Then she catches the door and closes it softly.
STANLEY
She's so cute.
TROY
I'm not apart of this.
INT. JEFF WINGER'S BEDROOM
Jeff Winger is sitting up in bed. He wears pajama bottoms and no shirt. He sleeps on fancy silk sheets and his bedroom is sparsely decorated, except for a framed photo of the study group.
Jillian McNeal sits next to him. Her shoes are off and she is wearing tight leggings and a thin tank top. She has lost some layers since Annie left. Jeff sneezes and Jillian hands him a tissue from the bedside table.
JEFF
I feel bad. I should call her.
JILLY
Who? Annie?
JEFF
She seemed upset.
JILLY
Were you two a thing?
JEFF
What? No! She's practically half my age.
JILLY
Well then let her grow up. You can't hold her hand forever.
JEFF
Has anyone ever told you that you're kind of mean?
JILLY
The word you're looking for is honest. And I can be nice. Want me to put on the sexy nurses uniform?
JEFF
Do you have that?
He looks at Jillian, who gives him a look.
JEFF (CONT'D)
You're nicer than anyone has given you credit for.
INT. IVY AND JILLY'S APARTMENT
Ivy Reeds stumbles into the apartment with Abed Nadir following close behind her. Ivy is carrying a large bouquet of flowers and a stuffed bear. Abed is texting on his phone.
IVY
I'm sorry my brother pawned me off on you.
Abed doesn't answer. Ivy puts her things down and makes herself comfortable on the couch.
IVY (CONT'D)
Who are you texting?
ABED
Pierce wants me to check in.
IVY
He already sent flowers and a stupid bear.
ABED
Do you want him to send a doctor?
IVY
No!
Abed shrugs and continues texting.
IVY (CONT'D)
Stop talking about me!
Abed puts down the phone and sits next to her.
ABED
I'm sorry. Am I doing something wrong? He's worried about you.
IVY
You have to ask me before you give someone updates on me.
ABED
Okay. I'll add that to the list.
IVY
What list?
Abed opens his backpack and pulls out a notebook. He opens it to a certain page and hands it to Ivy.
IVY (CONT'D)
You keep a list of relationship rules?
ABED
Yes. After last time, I wanted to make sure that we didn't break up again, so I complied a list of all the rules I've learned for life, movies, and television.
IVY
Don't give out DNA is underlined three times.
ABED
Yes. That's the most important one.
Ivy places the notebook on the table. She looks to Abed.
IVY
I think it's a little weird, but mostly very sweet.
Abed begins pulling things out of his backpack. He pulls out a box of tissues, Ferris Bueller's Day Off DVD, a can of chicken noodle soup, and a blue hoodie.
ABED
I remember that you said Ferris Bueller's Day Off was your favorite sick day movie.
IVY
And the sweatshirt?
ABED
It's a romantic staple in every television show I've watched.
INT. TROY, ABED, AND ANNIE'S APARTMENT - LATER THAT EVENING
Annie Edison is doing dishes in the kitchen when there's a knock on the door.
TROY
(from his bedroom)
Annie! Door!
Annie rolls her eyes and opens the door.
Stanley Powers is standing there with a bouquet of flowers.
ANNIE
Abed took Ivy home.
STANLEY
I know. Can I come in?
Annie steps back, allowing Stanley to walk inside. He hands her the flowers. She takes them and her rough exterior softens a little.
ANNIE
What are these for?
STANLEY
Because I was a terrible boyfriend. I came back from the trip and well...
ANNIE
You never promised me anything.
STANLEY
I know, but you're the kind of girl who deserves promises. So...I'm sorry.
ANNIE
Well...thank you.
STANLEY
Are you busy right now? I thought you might want to watch a movie. Any movie. Your pick.
ANNIE
I could do that.
INT. SHIRLEY BENNETT'S HOME
Shirley Bennett holds a thermometer while standing over a crib. She reads the temperature and looks satisfied. Shirley bends over and kisses her baby on the forehead.
INT. JEFF WINGER'S BEDROOM
Illuminated by the television, Jeff Winger rubs his eyes and looks over to his right side. Jillian McNeal is asleep on his arm. She is in her underwear. A nurses' costume is hanging off the edge of the bed.
Jillian shivers and Jeff pulls the blanket over her body.
INT. IVY AND JILLY'S APARTMENT
Ivy and Abed are asleep on the couch, cuddled against on another. Ivy is wearing Abed's blue hoodie and clutching the stuffed bear.
INT. TROY'S BEDROOM
Troy and Britta are watching something on Troy's laptop. Britta whispers something in Troy's ear and he smiles widely. He shuts the laptop.
INT. TROY, ABED, AND ANNIE'S APARTMENT
Annie Edison sits in Troy's armchair while Stanley sits in Abed's chair. A movie is playing in the background, but neither is really watching. They are talking to each other. Annie smiles and twirls her hair.
INT. FANCY RESTURANT
Pierce Hawthorne sits across the table from Angela Powers. Pierce fiddles with his jacket pocket. From it, he pulls a black velvet ring box. Before he can bring it out, Angela speaks.
ANGELA
Pierce, I need to talk to you.
PIERCE
That's funny, but I need to talk to you.
ANGELA
My husband and I have been talking.
PIERCE
Ex-husband
ANGELA
I'm sorry, Pierce but no. He's not.
INT. GREENDALE STUDY ROOM - A FEW DAYS LATER
Troy Barnes, Abed Nadir, Britta Perry, Jeff Winger, and Shirley Bennett are sitting in there respective seats. Ivy has pulled a chair up between Abed and Britta. She is wearing Abed's blue hoodie.
SHIRLEY
Ben's feeling much better. I'm glad I was able to avoid it. Campus seems to be getting better too.
PIERCE
Luckily, my several flu shots have given me a superior immune system.
JEFF
Yes. Thank goodness you hoarded all the flu shots for yourself.
PIERCE
Yeah. Really.
BRITTA
Come to think of it, did any of us get a flu shot?
SHIRLEY
I did!
TROY
No. Pierce had already taken them by the time I got there.
ABED
I didn't get one.
JEFF
Yeah. They were out.
Everyone at the table glares at Pierce, who shrugs.
PIERCE
Survival of the fittest.
The table boos him.
ABED
I'm just happy we got our classic role reversal episode out of the way. It's usually used to establish romantic pairings.
Everyone at the table looks alarmed.
JEFF
Where's Annie?
ABED
She's sick, but she's the last one. I told her that I'd bring her all her homework.
TROY
We'll pick her up some soup.
JEFF
I can do that.
The table exchanges glances.
JEFF (CONT'D)
What?
BRITTA
Aren't you two angry at each other? Because of your new girlfriend?
JEFF
I don't have a girlfriend.
PIERCE
(singing)
Jeff and Jilly sitting in a tree for-nit-cat-at-ting.
BRITTA
Pierce!
IVY
Don't be gross.
JEFF
I'm not angry. She just thinks I'm angry. I'm proving I'm not for the good of the group.
BRITTA
Whatever, Winger. Just be careful. We all know what you do to girls.
JEFF
What? You think Annie's going to declare her love for me at the transfer dance?
BRITTA
Shut up!
IVY
Jilly tells me everything. I'd know if they were dating.
JEFF
Everything?
IVY
Everything.
INT. TROY, ABED, AND ANNIE'S APARTMENT - LATER THAT DAY
Jeff Winger stands at the doorway, holding a carton of soup. He knocks at the door.
Stanley Powers answers.
JEFF
Um...hi?
STANLEY
Hey there, Jeff. What you got there?
JEFF
Soup. It's for Annie. I'd like to give it to her.
STANLEY
Annie's sleeping, but I can make sure she gets it.
JEFF
I'd like to give it to her myself.
STANLEY
You want to wake up a sick girl?
JEFF
No...Since when are you two hanging out again?
STANLEY
Recently. I promise I'll tell her you stopped by.
Reluctantly, Jeff hands Stanley the soup. Stanley takes it and shuts the door.
As Jeff begins to walk away, he pulls out his phone and dials.
JEFF
Hey! Jillian! It's Jeff. Are you free for dinner tonight?