A/N: I originally started posting this on another account, but then abandoned it for years due to personal reasons. I recently had a conversation with a friend of mine, and thanks to her I felt motivated to revisit this piece again, and I realized just how much I wanted to keep working on it again. I ended up rewriting and changing so many things in it because I disliked how I wrote it at the time (The changes will be listed at the end of the post).
I have to say that this story deals with some disturbing topics (mentioned in warnings) and if you feel you're uncomfortable with those subjects, I'd advise against reading this.
I hope you guys will enjoy this.
Pairs: Mikasa/Levi | One-sided Petra/Levi | Minor Historia/Eren | Platonic Mikasa/Historia.
Warnings: Miscarriage, cheating, manipulation.
PART OF ME | Chapter I: New Beginnings
It was a bright summer day, early in the morning, when a car parked near a hotel. A young woman with long black locks leaned against the vehicle. Her dark, grayish eyes narrowed up at a figure seeming in the balcony of one of the hotel rooms. A ring slipped from her finger and fell soundlessly until it hit the hard ground, rolling in its place before lulling. Once the discarded material ceased to move, the woman shifted her weight off the car's body to get inside it, and soon she took off, driving away.
She arrived to her timeworn apartment building in the approximation of forty minutes. Once parking her car in the mostly quiet parking lot, she took the old elevator to the third floor, where her apartment was. The moment her feet stepped inside her place, the door slammed shut wrathfully and her back pressed against it for support, for her legs seemed helpless to carry her any further, and her eyes lost in an ambiguous world. It wasn't until her phone rang that she came back to her senses, reaching her hand inside her purse and almost getting lost in the small space before touching the object she was looking for. She got the phone out and held it up, her hazy eyes staring into the screen, reflecting the name of the caller onto them. 'Fiancé', it said, and the curl of her lips straightened into a thin line.
"Go to hell…" Her lips heavily parted to let out those words in the most broken voice she could ever possess, and the phone flew across the hallway in no time, slamming against a mirror hung against the wall to the side. The phone signed the mirror with a long crack before it came apart, and its pieces scattered across the wood floor.
Pushing through her godforsaken hopes, her legs dragged her into the bathroom, and her hands held onto the edges of the counter quickly, seeking support to stand still. She balanced herself up slowly, and reached into her purse once more to pull out a bunch of folded papers, and she shredded them with shaky hands before throwing them into the sink. Next she got out a lighter, and with a click, two, three, the papers caught on fire at last. The smell of the smoke caught onto her nose in no time, and a cough managed out of her throat, though she didn't move away an inch. Instead, her eyes fixed on the mirror in front of her; on the reflection of a mere, soulless woman staring into nothingness.
The sky settled on a much darker color now, free of daylight and the air calm, bearing no more sound of chirping birds and busy streets. There was a faint breeze gently stroking the leaves as it filled the atmosphere for an instant, and then stilled.
Consciousness tugged at her lids to open, her senseless body clueless on its surroundings, strange smells, sounds, air, but familiar all the same.
Her eyes revealed an unrecognizable ceiling upon opening, though the ceiling was only one of the unrecognizable features of this place. It wasn't her apartment; she realized, and soon her ears caught on a continuous beeping sound, before she could feel the warmth of someone else by her side in the room.
"Mikasa… darling, are you okay?!" A worried voice of a woman reached her ears, and upon turning to her right, the blurry sight vanished slowly, and she finally saw the first recognizable features in this strange environment; her mother's.
"Mom… what are you doing here?" confusion painted her words, and as her eyes grew accustomed to the room lighting, she looked around her, trying to figure out where she was.
"How are you feeling?" Her mother wore a concerned face, and her soft hands held onto her daughter's tightly, gently, lovingly, as her lips curled up into a warm smile.
"Am I in a hospital?" Mikasa asked, seeking confirmation, "Who called you here?"
"…Your neighbor." The mother answered to her curiosity, and sighed, "I'm glad you're awake again. I was so worried about you."
"My neighbor?" Mikasa's thin brows furrowed slightly, and her confusion faded away soon as a more knowing expression took place. She turned her head away, looking out the window, at the sky that matched the dark of her own eyes. Her lips pressed into a thin, shaky line, and she sniffled quietly.
"How're you feeling, sweetheart?" the mother asked, squeezing her daughter's hand lightly in her hold upon noting the tears that began forming in her eyes.
Mikasa's eyes closed, and she inhaled a long, deep breath, and then answered with a dull voice, "I'm fine."
A frown seemed on the mother's face, her hands letting go of her daughter's and retreating to her lap instead, "Honey, I'm so sorry about what happened. I wish I'd been by your side."
"I'm fine." She claimed, her eyes opening again slowly and meeting her mother's, "You don't need to worry about me... How's dad?"
"Your father is okay. He's home… He's feeling a bit tired so he couldn't come with me, but he's alright." The mother spoke in a most reassuring voice, and Mikasa nodded.
"I… miss him." she murmured, breathing out heavily.
The mother tried her best to wear a cheerful smile, as she reassured, "You can come stay with us after you leave the hospital if you like. There's always room for you, honey, you know that. I'm certain your father will be very happy to see you again."
Mikasa's gaze fell away from her mother's, and though her words were so inviting, Mikasa couldn't hide the pain and sadness that seeped back into her face almost instantly. She shook her head lightly, hoping it would somehow rid her of those unbearable feelings, though her breath hitched, and her tears finally broke free, tracing the sides of her face in no time.
"Oh, honey…" the mother's voice cracked as soon as the words left her mouth, and all she could do was lean closer to her daughter and pull her into a warm hug, "I'm so sorry. I'm really sorry, sweetheart. You deserved none of this." She whispered to her, and pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead, "I'm here for you, so is your father, and your friends. We're all here for you. You're never going to be alone. I promise you."
In about a week's time, Mikasa's state was stable enough for her to leave the hospital, and go back to her apartment. Her mother had gone back to her place a day later, for she couldn't leave her husband alone much longer, though she made sure Mikasa wasn't alone, and that her friends were staying with her to help her take care of herself until she'd fully recover.
She sat in her balcony one morning, at a round table, enjoying the fresh air and the sight of the city. Around that same table sat her friends, Historia and Sasha, who'd been staying with her the past days to make sure she was doing alright.
"It's nice to be back home, isn't?" Historia smiled, sipping from her cold smoothie.
"It's nostalgic." Mikasa nodded, and toyed with the straw of her drink.
"Don't you miss the country, though?" Sasha asked, biting on her sandwich with a wide open mouth, "The city's nice and everything, but I miss the peaceful life of the country, the lovely smell of fresh harvestable, the juiciness of freshly hunted meat." She drooled at the thought, and took another, big bite from her sandwich.
Mikasa's lips curled up slightly, "Thank you… for staying with me. It means a lot to me."
Historia shook her head, "Don't mention it, Mikasa. We're your friends."
"You have a really comfy bed, I could stay here forever just because of that!" Sasha claimed, though upon seeing the faint glare on Historia's face, she cleared her throat and added, "And also because you're our friend. Friends are your second family, Mikasa. We can't leave you."
"And plus now that you're a single and independent woman again, you can no longer use the boyfriend excuse to ditch us. You're stuck with us!" Historia joked with a cheerful voice, though she soon regretted her words when she saw the frown on Mikasa's face. "I'm sorry… I didn't mean to—"
Mikasa shook her head, and soon smiled once more, "It's fine. I'm glad I have a sick leave. We have so many things to catch up on together."
Historia's smile brightened, and she nodded in agreement, "Yep! We'll get you real busy!"
"Speaking of getting busy. Armin and Eren are taking a long time to come back with the new phone, should I call them?" Sasha asked.
"Sasha!" Historia yelled at the girl, her brows furrowing angrily at her.
"New phone?" Mikasa raised her brow in confusion.
"Oh!" Sasha gasped, realizing what she just did. "Oh, I'm so sorry. I wasn't supposed to say that." She covered her mouth with her hands in regret, "I'm a terrible person. That was supposed to be a surprise. I'm sorry for ruining everything!"
Historia heaved a sigh, "It's okay, Sasha. She would've found out sooner or later." Historia then looked up at Mikasa and explained, "Well, since you broke—since you don't have a cell phone at the moment… We figured we could all just get you a brand new one. Consider it a welcome back present."
Mikasa blinked a couple times, "Y-you guys didn't have to do that. I could've gotten one myself."
"I doubt it." Sasha claimed, "We're getting you this really expensive and cool looking phone, and plus we customized it for you so that you can treasure it as a memory from your best friends. I doubt your sorry salary would buy you something like that."
"Sasha!" Historia yelled at the girl again, slamming her palm against her forehead as a loud sigh escaped her lips.
"Oh my god. I wasn't supposed to say that, either." Sasha gasped, "I'm so sorry. Please forgive me!" she pulled on her hair and sobbed, "Why do I talk so much? I need to learn to shut up. I'm so stupid."
Mikasa couldn't help but wear a smile; a genuine, happy smile, something she couldn't do for a while now. Tears glistened in her eyes, though this time they were out of joy and gratitude, gratefulness for having such friends in her life, people who filled her with content and happiness. "Thank you, guys."
Historia got up of her chair, and approached Mikasa, pulling her into a hug. Sasha observed the two of them for a second before joining them, and the three held onto each other tightly, nothing on their faces but cheerful smiles and bright eyes.
That was the beginning of her new life; a turning point, for she'd changed ever since. She'd lost sight of the importance of friendship over the past years, but she realized now more than ever before that she had nothing she cherished more than these people in her life, and for that she was grateful.
She learned valuable lessons from her past mistakes, and swore not to ever make them again. She felt as though she was being reborn, as though she was a wholly new person, more focused, more careful, more… powerful.
When her sick leave was over, going back to work wasn't as much of a drag as she feared it would be. On the contrary, she'd become so dedicated to it, and the following couple months of hard work earned her a promotion.
It was around Christmas time that she decided to take her vacation, a well-deserved one. She'd been focused on her professional life for quite a long time, and finally reached a point where a break was needed, and if she learned anything from what happened, it was to treat herself kindly, and a break from work and everything else was just the right treatment.
Night crawled into the sky and an endless darkness tented, patched with grey clouds hiding the shining stars behind them. The light of Mikasa's bedroom was on, and she sat on her bed with Historia next to her, helping her pack her clothes. Her leave was temporary, but Historia still seemed quite concerned.
Historia closed one of the bags and got up, holding it in her hand as she approached Eren who was standing by the door, "This one's ready. Take it downstairs."
"Alright." He took it swiftly and left the apartment, while the girls prepared another one.
"Are you sure you want to do this?" Historia looked up and asked with a bit of uncertainty. It was probably her protective-best-friend self speaking, but she had an ill feeling about this trip, especially given that Mikasa decided to go on her own.
"Yes." Confidence colored Mikasa's voice, and somehow it only made Historia worry more.
"We'll miss you so much." Historia frowned, but tried to fight her sadness with a smile. She didn't have a solid reason to worry about her, really. Mikasa had been in such a good state. She'd been productive and outgoing, and she'd been keeping herself busy with all sorts of things. She'd even been spending more time with them than she had in years.
"It's just for a few weeks. I know it seems much, but I feel like I need it." Mikasa spoke. She'd noticed the concern in Historia's eyes, and so she made sure she sounded reassuring when she added, "Don't worry about me. I'm alright. It's been six months. I'm over it."
"So it seems." Historia sighed, "Maybe I'm the problem. I've spent too much time with you, and now I don't want to let you go."
"You have Eren." Mikasa said, and focused back on folding the clothes, "And Armin and Sasha."
Historia arched her brow suspiciously, "Why did you say it like that?"
Mikasa shrugged, faking ignorance, "Say it like what?"
"Like, 'Eren… and Armin and Sasha'" Historia mimicked her tone as she repeated, and narrowed her eyes.
"You're exaggerating. That's totally not how I said it." she claimed.
"That's exactly how you said it!" Historia argued, and huffed when noting the smirk on Mikasa's face, "Oh, you know what? I'm glad you're leaving. At least I won't have to deal with that attitude."
"What attitude? I didn't say anything." Mikasa said nonchalantly, only making the glare on Historia's face intensify, as well as her blush. "Historia…" her tone changed to a softer one now, "I don't mind, you know?"
"Huh?" Historia blinked, and paused to look at Mikasa.
"I know you and Eren like each other a lot. I also know you haven't been open about it because of me." She explained, "Maybe you can use the chance to talk about it now. Feel more comfortable."
"Mikasa… I—"
"I'm really happy for you two." She said, her voice reassuring and genuine, "I think it'll work out."
Historia let out a soft breath, "You're… really over it, then?"
Mikasa nodded, "I'm strong. I wasn't for a while, but I am now. I'm not going to let the past decide my future. I've moved on, and I have a life to live. No more dwelling on the past."
Historia's worries slowly began to fade away as she listened to Mikasa's words, and soon a big smile shaped her lips, and she nodded, "No more dwelling on the past." She scooted closer to her friend, and gave her a tight hug, "We'll miss you."
"I'll miss you, too."
It took them almost an hour to finish packing the rest of the bags and place them inside Mikasa's car.
She stood by the vehicle with her friends afterwards, saying goodbye to them before she'd leave. Both Armin and Sasha had joined the group, too.
"We hope you enjoy your vacation, Mikasa." Armin spoke, "You deserve a break. You've been working really hard for the past months."
"What do you mean? Mikasa's always been a hard-worker." Eren claimed.
"Right…" Armin nodded, "But even more so lately."
"Thank you. You guys have fun together." She said the last part with her eyes on Historia, and the latter blushed madly, though approached her and gave her another hug, one last hug before she'd leave.
"Take care of yourself, okay?" Historia mumbled in a bit of a pleading tone.
"Hey, now! She's not going to war, is she?" Eren joked, "She's taking a vacation; of course she'll take care of herself."
"I will." She assured, "And you take care of yourselves and each other."
"We will." Eren nodded.
With a smile on her face, Mikasa got inside the car. She waved goodbye at her friends, and took off shortly after, initiating her trip out of the city. It wasn't something she did often enough, and with the beginning of her new life, she decided to include new experiences, and this was one of them.
She had an early reservation at a five star hotel, and she figured she might as well go all the way and reserve an entire suite for herself. She'd be staying there for a while, and the bigger the living space, the less likely she'd get bored on her own, or so she hoped, at least.
The two-hour drive finally came to an end when the car stopped at the hotel's grounds.
With a tired exhale slipping from between her slightly parted lips, her feet touched the rigid ground beneath her, while her head peeked outside of the car, and she was met with a much pleasant sight of the huge building before her. The air felt very welcoming, and the hotel's name glowed in big letters arching above the wide entrance, spelling 'Sina's'. A few seconds of musing went by before the valet approached her, and only when he spoke did she realize that he was standing in front of her.
"Good evening, miss! Would you like me to park your car?" The respectful tone was present in the valet's voice as he asked, as well as a smile on his face.
"Yes, please." She nodded at him, "I just need to take out the bags I brought with me."
"Don't worry, miss, I'll make sure to send them with a bellboy." The valet spoke reassuringly and added, "Have a nice stay at our hotel." Bowing his head, Mikasa stepped aside for the valet to take her car and park it.
It was now time to explore the inside part of the hotel, and she walked towards the entrance slowly, making sure to take in every bit of beauty the exterior had to offer, though when she stepped inside, she felt as though her feet had been nailed to the floor. Frozen in her place, her eyes were the only thing in her that moved, roaming around and observing every nook and cranny. The main lobby had a warm feel to it, filling her chest with coziness and comfort. The air smelled so fresh and homey, defying her expectations of feeling strange in a strange place. When she felt that she looked at everything she could see from her spot, her gaze landed on the front desk at last, the place she was supposed to head to. Mikasa finally moved from her spot and headed to there, the strap of her purse tugging at her arm.
"Good evening miss, and welcome to our hotel! How may I help you?" A wide smile showed on the receptionist's face as she welcomed Mikasa.
"Hi. I have a reservation for today, under the name Ackerman…" Mikasa stepped closer and answered, resting her hand on the desk.
"Ackerman…" The receptionist nodded as she went through the list of reservations, until she stumbled upon the name. "Yes, Ms. Ackerman, you have a reservation for a one-bedroom suite, am I correct?"
"Yes…" Relieved nothing went wrong with her reservation, she nodded.
"Alright, I see we already have your credit card information, so you only need to sign the receipt along the bottom, please." The receptionist said and Mikasa complied shortly after. "Thank you very much, miss. We've reserved suite 48 for you, here is the key…" She held the key out to her, "Take the elevator on the right, go to the fourth floor, turn right, and then walk straight. Your suite will be on your left side. Your bags should get there soon with the bellboy."
"Alright, thank you." Mikasa took the key and turned around, looking at the elevator she was going to take before walking towards it. Following the receptionist's directions, Mikasa ended up in her suite within a few minutes.
How charming, words she could not speak when the allure of her surroundings had her stunned in amazement. The place was strangely big, which had her wondering how they could fit so much space in a single suite of the hotel. Needless to say the furniture was fancy; it had more of a traditional looking style, so elegant and neat. She could spot the living room, the dining, and the kitchen, and there were a couple more doors that presumably lead to the bedroom and bathroom. She'd have to check for herself.
"Miss, where would you like me to leave the bags?" Before she would drown any further in her suite's charm, the bellboy called from behind, holding her bags and placing them on the floor.
She turned around and looked at him, giving him a simple nod, "Ah yes. Just leave them there, I'll arrange them later."
"If you needed anything, you can call the room service. Have a nice stay and a good evening!" The bellboy said before leaving and closing the door behind him.
It was now only her and a whole big suite for her to explore, throwing her handbag to the couch, Mikasa began wandering around, mesmerized by the beauty of the place. She approached one of the doors that she spotted earlier, and it opened to a spacious, dream-like bedroom. The bed was bigger than anything she ever had, and the sheets looked so warm and cozy, and when she walked further inside the room, she finally caught a glimpse of the view from her room. It was as though she could see the whole world through the large windows, framing the outside like a vivid painting. She could see the various lights of the far city, and the endless black coat of the sky hovering atop it all. She'd lost count of how long she'd been standing there, and only when her legs started feeling sore did she come back to her senses.
She looked down at the bed now, and decided she should test it out and see if it felt just as good as it looked. She sat down on it slowly, and the mattress bounced a little upon receiving her weight, and soon Mikasa dropped the rest of her body onto the bed, spreading her arms wide across the sheets, and closing her eyes as she released a loud and long breath.
It's not bad to enjoy herself at all. Mikasa yawned slightly, and allowed her tense body a few moments of relaxation from the tiring ride she had.
The hotel restaurant wasn't short of sophistication either, and when she got there, she was surprised she even found a table to sit. She could overhear the staff talking about how busy their hotel was, more than they expected it to be, and it seemed that they were having trouble receiving all the people in the restaurant, and had to send everyone that came after Mikasa back to their rooms with a free, special meal as an apology. She couldn't help but feel sorry for both the staff and the guests, but at the same time she was grateful to have had a table for her own to enjoy an elegant dinner in an elegant restaurant at an elegant hotel. She'd saved up quite a lot of money for this, and she was happy to see it wasn't going to waste, despite this being her first night here. The smell of food kept tickling her nostrils, and so she ignored whatever kept her busy from eating. Her eyes landed on her plate when her hand held the fork, though she couldn't help but be distracted again when the next guests walked into the restaurant; a man with a young-looking woman, wrapping her arm around his; possibly a couple. They stood near her table to talk to a waiter, and so Mikasa was able to hear their conversation.
"I deeply apologize, sir. All tables are currently reserved." The waiter frowned as he announced the news to them, bowing his head apologetically, "If you wish to wait until one of the tables is empty, we'll make sure to call you back to have your meal. If you don't wish to wait, we can also bring the meal to your room."
"Is that so?" the woman frowned, "I knew the hotel was really good, but I never expected it to be this busy."
"We've already placed an order to get extra tables and chairs. This problem won't last for much longer. My sincere apologies for the inconvenience."
"That's fine." The man said simply, "We can eat in our suite."
"Or maybe we can wait?" The shorter woman with him asked hopefully. Her light, ginger bangs covered one of her eyes and she reached up with her hand to push them back. "Please?" she pleaded.
The man looked at her silently for a bit, considering her request for a moment before answering, "Alright, but you'll have to stay awake until then."
"I will!" she replied excitedly and squeezed his hand with a bright smile.
Mikasa looked at the two of them quietly, at the way the woman's face brightened, the excitement in her voice, and last, at the ring around her finger. Before her eyes flashed a memory, of the time she took off her own engagement ring from her finger, and dropped it to the ground, the sound it made as it hit the surface playing in her ears before she forced herself out of that memory, and back to the present time. She spotted the couple turning away, ready to leave.
"My table is almost empty…" Mikasa barely recognized herself while saying so, for she never tried to initiate conversations with strangers, let alone invite them to sit with her. As soon as the couple turned around to look at her, she tried to smile as she added, "If you'd like, you can join me?"
The man exchanged gazes with the woman in his company for a few seconds, "So, what do you say?" He asked her.
"I say that I cannot wait any longer." The woman couldn't help a giggle from escaping her lips, and a light blush from reddening her cheeks.
"Alright, we're going to sit here, then." The man informed the waiter as he helped the girl take her seat, pulling the chair for her.
"No problem, sir. Take your time reading the menu and let me know when your order is ready." The waiter said before walking away to receive some more guests who walked in.
"Good evening!" the woman greeted as she sat down, her supposed-fiancé soon taking a seat next to her. "Thank you for your generosity. I've been driving for a while and I'm starving."
"Don't mention it." Mikasa shook her head, "There's plenty of space, so it's best to make use of it."
"I'm Petra, by the way." The woman introduced herself with a sweet smile, and then gestured toward the man by her side, "And this is Levi."
"Pleasure to meet you, I'm Mikasa."
"Nice to meet you too, Mikasa!" Petra said, "Man, this place is gorgeous, isn't it?"
Mikasa nodded in agreement, "I've only arrived not so long ago, but that's enough time to see how pretty the hotel is."
"Is this your first time here, then?" Petra asked curiously, while Levi kept himself busy browsing through the menu.
"It is." Mikasa replied, "My friend recommended this place to me."
"I see. Your friend has a great taste." Petra chuckled, "I've been here before, when the hotel was still new. It wasn't half as busy as it is today. The place's definitely earned more fame since then. They're also celebrating their one year anniversary, and that's probably why the place is busy now."
"When did you come here?" Levi looked up from the menu to ask.
"Oh, it was last year, for work." Petra answered, "My partner and I had to meet up with some business men, and we stayed at this hotel. I thought I told you about it."
"You didn't." Levi sighed, and looked back down at the menu.
Mikasa remained quiet, feeling slightly awkward in the situation, though when her eyes landed on Levi's hand, she saw a ring on his finger too, and her brow arched, "You're married?"
"No." Levi answered.
"Not yet." Petra spoke, excitement present in her tone, "Our wedding is soon though. We're just here because of my work, and he's taking a sick leave."
"Oh, I see. Excuse my curiosity, I just thought… because of the rings…" she mumbled, and realized she wasn't going anywhere with it, so she decided to pick up her fork again and resume eating.
"Right." Petra scratched the back of her neck, "I made him wear a ring because I thought it was cute."
"And to keep people away, too." Levi added with a snarky tone.
"That's not true!" Petra claimed, "I mean… okay maybe it's half true."
"It's true." Levi stated simply.
Petra's cheeks flushed with a faint pink color, but she shook her head and decided to change the topic, "Anyways, is there something you'd like to order, honey?" she leaned closer to peek at the menu with him.
Levi shrugged his shoulders and handed her the menu instead, "You pick."
"Oh…" Petra held the menu in her hand and sighed, "Fine. You're always so indecisive."
Silence soon settled in as all three of them focused on having their dinner and filling up their hungry stomachs, save for some chit chat and small talk here and there. Petra even insisted Mikasa stayed with them even after finishing her meal, and the latter thought it would be rude to turn her down, so she stayed. She was here to try new things, might as well get to know people, even if it wasn't something she was used to. Levi remained mostly quiet throughout every conversation, seemingly not the talkative type, much like Mikasa. He had enough listening only, would say a word or two if necessary, but for the most part stayed silent. They had wished each other a good night when the dinner ended, though as soon as they started heading to their suites, they realized they were staying at the same floor, and so they shared the elevator ride.
Petra exclaimed, "I'm so excited to see the suite. I've seen it in pictures, but I'm sure it won't compare to what it really looks like."
"I've seen mine. It was really beautiful." Mikasa stated.
"Last time I was here I reserved a room, and it was so nice." Petra claimed, "My partner wasn't so fond of hotels but he couldn't deny this place was like heaven. I love it."
He. Levi's brow twitched slightly at that, the information seeming new to him. "So you and your partner shared a roomhere?" the question slipped out his mouth.
Petra blinked at him, then brushed his shoulder with hers and shook her head, "No. We reserved separate rooms. Are you jealous?"
"I'm not jealous." Levi claimed nonchalantly.
"You sound jealous." She teased with a silly smile.
"I'm not." He pressed, his tone strict, and Petra decided to let it go.
Mikasa couldn't help but feel awkward being in the middle of that, and she could see Petra was feeling just as awkward too. It probably wasn't the best situation to be in; having a stranger around listening to a couple about to argue.
Soon enough, the ride came to an end when the elevator arrived to the floor, and all three got out of the elevator and walked together in the hallway.
"Where are you staying?" Petra asked, breaking the awkward silence.
"Suite 48." She replied, gesturing at the door as they closed in.
"Oh!" Petra exclaimed, "Ours is 50. We're neighbors!"
"I see. I'll drop by if I ever need anything, then." Mikasa said, and when hearing Petra chuckle, she felt relieved knowing that her joke came across successfully.
"Well, in any case. It was nice talking to you, Mikasa. Have a good night." Petra smiled widely at the girl.
"Likewise. Have a good night." Mikasa returned the smile, and stood at her door to watch the couple walk away to their suite, right across the long hallway extending before her suite, and she turned around shortly, tugging out her key card to open the door and walk in.
Upon walking to their suite, Petra's eyes widened in awe, and though Levi wore an indifferent expression, he was still amazed by how nice the place looked and felt. Petra had to convince him to leave unpacking for tomorrow, so they'd be able to enjoy the rest of their night without any more strenuous activities. Driving for a long time was enough, and they had a big bed waiting for them in the bedroom, begging to be used. Levi gave in to Petra's pleas and only opened one bag to get out some sleepwear for the night.
Their bodies fell tired under the sheets, heavy breaths and bits of sweat covering their skin—the warmth of the suite didn't help much in that department, but a little fun activity was enough to give them one last push to send them off to sleep almost immediately after they came down from the bliss. The hour handle hit midnight by the time they succumbed to sleep, and though Petra wore a most peaceful face, Levi's was more of the opposite. His eyes moved under his closed lids restlessly, and his brows furrowed, painting a grim expression. His sight was all blurry, fuzzy, and his hands sweaty on the wheel of his car, slipping away against his will. He was driving at the speed of light, but his target still seemed out of his reach, and next thing he knew, the glass of the window shattered, and the world around him went round and round, before darkness settled in.
When he opened his eyes again, it was still dark, and he sat up immediately, gasping, and pushing the covers off his body. His feet touched a fluffy texture, that of a carpet, and a few seconds later he managed to catch his breath and realized that he was back in the bedroom of their suite.
These fucking nightmares. He let out a heavy breath, panting, sweating, and he felt exhausted and sore, as though he just got out of that car, as though the accident hadn't happened months ago, as though he hadn't recovered from it all.
"Levi…" Petra woke up upon hearing him breathe heavily, and she sat up, turning on the lamp by her bedside table to look at him, "Are you okay?"
"Yeah…" he claimed, and felt her hand rub his back gently, soothingly.
"Had another nightmare?" she said with a frown and scooted closer to him to kiss his shoulder, "I'm sorry, honey. Try to get back to sleep."
"I can't." Levi passed his fingers through his hair, pushing it back, lips parting to release yet another hot breath, "I'm going to take a walk for a bit." He said as he got out of bed, and tried to find his pants and shirt on the floor.
"Do you want me to come with you?" she offered.
"No, it's fine." Levi shook his head, grabbing his pants and slipping them on, "You need the rest. You've got work tomorrow."
"Okay…" she sighed, "But promise me you're not going to drink. We've talked about this."
Levi grabbed his shirt next and threw it on quickly, "I won't."
"I love you." She whispered as she lay back down on the bed, and turned to the other side.
Levi eyed her quietly for a moment before fixing himself up, putting on his slippers, and leaving the suite.
He was standing in the lobby within a couple of minutes. It was large and his eyes got lost looking around it, but they seemed to land on a familiar face when looking at one of the seating areas. Was that Mikasa sitting there? He wondered, and noticed that her eyes were closed. Could she have fallen asleep here by accident?
Nevertheless, he thought it was an interesting coincidence that he found her here as well at this late hour, and his legs led him unconsciously to her, until he stood before her.
"Are you asleep?" Levi asked, strangely curious to know what it was that kept her from staying in her big, comfy bed back in her suite.
"Mhm… what?" Her eyes rose lazily to glance up at him, and she recognized him still, "You… what do you want?"
"You've got an interesting taste in sleeping locations." He said sarcastically, "It's loud and noisy and bright, just what you need to fall asleep. Forget about that big-ass bed in the cozy suite."
"That's none of your business." Mikasa tried to glare, though her expression softened soon enough, "I felt lonely so I came here… and I fell asleep." She proceeded to explain, her hands resting on the couch, and she tried to lift herself up to stand, but she fell right back in her place.
"Are you okay?" Levi leaned in slowly, and his nostrils soon caught on the smell of alcohol reeking from her; she'd been drinking, he realized, and suddenly it made much more sense for her to fall asleep in such a weird place.
"Yeah, I… maybe I drank a bit too much…" she mumbled under her breath and closed her eyes again, breathing quietly.
"No shit." He arched his brow at her, though his gaze softened slowly, and he offered, "I can go get you a cup of tea if you like."
She shook her head, "No, thanks. I just… want to go back to my suite."
Levi watched her for a moment, wondering what it was that possessed him to even say the next words, "Alright, give me your hand. I'll help you back." He offered, and held out his hand to her expectantly.
Mikasa's eyes opened slightly, and she looked at him through half open lids, at the hand he'd extended to her. Her hand moved slowly, hesitantly, and touched his lightly. She wanted to pull back, but he held her hand in his, and pulled her up.
Levi hadn't noticed it before, but she was quite tall, taller than he was, that is—he'd probably have a hard time carrying her around in case she passed out before they got to her suite, and he wasn't looking forward to that.
"Let's go." He said, and walked alongside her, back to the elevator. He pushed the button to take them up to the floor and looked at her, making sure she was still awake enough.
She stood there quietly, fighting the urge to give in to sleep, though she still sought warmth and comfort, and her arm wrapped around Levi's almost instinctively, her head leaning on his shoulder.
Levi's body tensed up at the sudden contact, and he looked at her with wide eyes, questioning what the hell she was doing, but he saw her eyes were still closed, and realized she probably had no clue what she was doing. Levi was even more thankful he didn't ask Petra to join him-this wouldn't be a lovely sight to her. He inhaled a deep breath, and decided to let her be for now.
"…I hate you…" Her voice was barely audible, but Levi caught it regardless. "It's all… your fault… I lost it…"
For a second there, Levi thought she was talking to him, and he raised his brows in confusion, but he looked at her and her eyes were closed still, though he could see tears glistening in them, too. He wondered what it was she was talking about, clearly not a happy memory, and it made him wonder whether she was having trouble sleeping. That would be one thing they had in common.
The door soon slid open, and Levi walked out of the elevator with Mikasa, and with a few more steps, they arrived at her suite.
"We're here." Levi announced, loud enough to make her lift her head off his shoulder and open her eyes.
"Oh." She looked at the door of her suite, and tried to steady herself before letting go of his arm. "Thank you."
"You're welcome." He nodded, and wondered whether he should leave or wait for her to go inside.
Her back pressed to the wall, and reached a hand into her pocket to get her key.
"Goodnight." Levi spoke, and then turned around to return to his suite. However, when he reached to open the door and go inside, he looked over at Mikasa, and surprisingly saw her in the hallway still. She was sitting down on the floor, holding her knees up to her chest, and resting her head on them.
A soft sigh escaped his lips, and his gaze warmed up, not even realizing there was a silly smile sitting on his lips as he walked back to her. The key was still in her hand, and he leaned down slightly to grab it from her and open the door.
He pondered whether he should wake her up, or help her inside instead. She didn't look like she could walk much, not when she was sleeping in the hallway and her suite was one step away. In the end, he decided to carry her inside, and he was glad he did, for she was totally passed out, didn't even move when he picked her up. He took her to the bedroom, and laid her on the bed, made sure to take her shoes off and cover her body. He placed her apartment key down on the nightstand, and then stood there, quietly watching her, staring at her face with the softest gazes. It was only when her phone started ringing that he snapped out of it, and realized that he'd been standing there this whole time.
Why the fuck was he still here? He asked himself, and immediately proceeded to walk out, forgetting all about having a walk, and deciding to return to his suite instead and join his fiancée in their bed again.
"You didn't take so long…" Petra woke up upon hearing him get in bed, and turned to look at him.
"Yeah…" He tossed his shirt aside and got under the sheets.
"Had a quick walk?" She shifted closer, seeking his warmth.
"Kind of…" He held her against him and caressed her side slowly.
"Feel any better now?" She nuzzled her nose to his and asked.
"And sleepy too." That was something he hadn't felt in so long.
"You haven't slept properly since forever, and you need to rest." Petra pressed her head to his chest, his heartbeats soothing her and lulling her back to sleep, and this time around Levi joined her in her slumber.
He had slept peacefully that night, for the first time in so long.
Morning light seeped through the bedroom windows, and fell perfectly onto Levi's face, bugging his sleepy eyes. Petra was already dressed up for the day. She had a meeting to attend soon, not far away from here, and she had to leave. She zipped up her boots and then walked back to the bed, leaning down to Levi and pressing a kiss to his cheek, her fingers running through his hair gently.
"Levi… I'm going now…" she whispered to him in a soft voice.
"What time is it?" he could barely part his lips to ask.
"Almost ten…" She answered and pulled back.
"Why didn't you wake me up?" His eyes then opened to look up at her, realizing it was much later than he expected it to be. He had never slept for this long, and would always be the first one to wake up. This was a first.
"I saw you sleeping peacefully and I didn't want to wake you up. You haven't slept like that before, ever." Petra said with a loving smile on her face.
"I see…" Levi sighed, and turned to lie on his back, "When do you get back?"
"The meeting should be for two hours. If nothing else occurs, I'll be back before you even realize it." She replied, grabbing her coat and putting it on.
"Good luck." He mumbled, and slowly sat up to watch her leave.
"Thank you, honey." She smiled, "You can keep yourself busy with unpacking. Don't forget to eat something, too. No alcohol!" she said the last bit with a strict tone.
"Anything else, mother?" Levi asked sarcastically.
"Yes; I love you!" Petra added, and blew a kiss his way before turning around and leaving the bedroom.
"Take care." He rubbed the back of his neck, and stretched his arms for a bit before deciding to get out of bed and start his day.
Mikasa sat on the floor of the bedroom, surrounded by her bags. Some of them were already emptied, and the clothes neatly placed inside the closet, while the other half was still full and waiting to be unpacked. She was taking a short break, however, as she was on the phone with Historia.
"I called you like, ten times, and you didn't answer…" Ignorant to the details of last night's events, Historia was entering mom-mode, about to initiate an investigation and scolding session if she didn't hear a believable excuse in the next two seconds.
"I'm so sorry, Historia. I was having a walk around the hotel and forgot to take my phone with me, and when I got back to my suite, it was late and I fell asleep immediately." Mikasa claimed, her voice convincing so far.
"I take it you like the hotel?" Historia asked.
"It's… wonderful. I really love it here." Mikasa smiled, "I wasn't so sure at first but… I'm happy I came here."
"Yeah, well, I hope you don't like it too much and decide you're never coming back, though. That wouldn't be good." Historia warned.
"That's a good idea, actually. It's not so bad here."
"The hell did you just say, darling?" Historia said, and Mikasa lip-synced to her words, knowing exactly what her friend's reaction would be. "I'm driving to the hotel this very instant if that's the case."
"I'm just kidding," She chuckled, "it's pretty warm inside here; you'd forget it was winter. The bed is so comfortable and big… and the view…"
There was a knock on the door, followed by a woman's voice shortly after, "Room service…"
"That's the breakfast I ordered," Mikasa stated, and got up on her feet to answer the door. She opened it quickly and stepped aside, allowing room for the woman to walk in.
"Good morning, Miss. Here is the breakfast you ordered." She said.
"Thank you…" Mikasa nodded at her with a smile, and stood at the door, waiting for the woman to leave so she could close it. As the woman walked out, Mikasa proceeded to shut the door, though paused when hearing a clicking sound, and looked up to see Levi coming out of his suite.
His eyes met hers shortly after he started walking, and he greeted when he stood in front of her, "Good morning…"
"Good morning…" she replied calmly.
"Who's that?" Historia asked on the other side of the phone upon hearing the voice of a guy talking to her friend, her curiosity arising.
"Historia, I'll call you back." Mikasa hung up, and held the phone in her hand as she looked at the man awkwardly.
"How are you?" he initiated, breaking the wall of silence that was building between them.
"I'm… fine." Last night's events flashed before her eyes as she said those words, and wasn't so sure about addressing the matter or acting like it never happened.
"So, feel better today?" he asked, and she cursed under her breath.
"Yeah…" she nodded, "Thank you. And how are you?"
"I got to sleep for quite some time, so not bad." He shrugged.
"That's good…" Mikasa offered a smile, and the two of them went quiet once more, until Mikasa spoke again, "Is your fiancée still asleep?"
"No." he answered, "She left for a meeting not long ago."
"I see…" she nodded, "And… you're on a sick leave, right? What for?" she remembered what Petra had told her, and from what she'd seen at least, he looked in a good shape.
"I had a car accident a few months ago…" Levi said, "Still recovering."
Her eyes widened, "Oh, I'm sorry to hear that."
"It's fine. I'm getting better." He shrugged, and then decided to ask, "What about you?"
"What about me?" her brow arched.
"Why are you here?" he clarified.
"I'm on vacation." She answered simply, "And I needed a break from… everything."
"I see." He nodded understandingly. He, too, needed a break from everything, and perhaps last night was a sign he was going to enjoy his sick leave. If only he could always sleep as well as he did last night.
"I…" Mikasa started, "I just… ordered some breakfast. Do you want to join, maybe?" this was twice she invited a stranger to eat with her, though after last night, somehow he no longer felt like a stranger to her. She was lonely, and he was alone, and it couldn't hurt either of them to have some company for a while.
Levi stared at her silently for a moment, considering her offer. "I was going to have breakfast downstairs. I guess this saves up time and energy."
Mikasa wore a smile and stepped aside to allow him in, before she closed the door behind him.
They placed the plates and utensils on the dining table, and sat opposite from one another to have their breakfast.
Mikasa took a small bite of her food and looked up at Levi. "How did the accident happen, if you don't mind me asking?"
"I can't remember what happened exactly," Levi seemed to take a long moment to think about it before starting to tell, "I guess I was drunk… driving my car so fast, going somewhere… to get something I forgot… and then… there was this truck…" he still remembered last night's dream so vividly, and his brows furrowed in disturbance, but he continued nonetheless, "It showed up out of nowhere… and crashed into my car… and that's all I remember."
"That… sounds terrifying." Mikasa frowned.
Levi didn't comment on that, instead he continued to tell the story, "I woke up in the hospital four months later, was told I fell into a coma. I had to stay in the hospital for a couple more months."
"Is that why your fiancée's so… protective of you?" Mikasa asked, mostly referring to the ring she'd made him wear.
Levi raised his brows at that, but proceeded to explain, "We weren't engaged then, actually. We were dating… and she visited me every day, made sure I was doing alright and recovering."
Mikasa decided to follow up with the subject, rather than focusing on the accident, for she noted that he was still disturbed by it. "When did you propose to her?"
"Two weeks ago…" He answered, and could see the surprise on Mikasa's face.
"Oh, congratulations." Mikasa smiled, "You're getting married soon, too?"
"Next summer…" he answered, "So still a while before that."
"Well, it sounds exciting regardless." Mikasa said, and watched him take a bite from his food, not commenting on what she said, and so she let her curiosity get the better of her and asked, "Do you love her?"
Levi almost choked on his food at the sudden question.
"I'm sorry. I know it's personal… You don't have to answer it." Mikasa pressed her lips together, cursing under her breath. She probably made him uncomfortable, great.
"I… do." Levi answered, unsure if he was trying to convince Mikasa or himself, "I'm marrying her." He added, as though to support his statement.
Mikasa's lips curled up faintly, forming a smirk that she couldn't hide well enough, and Levi spotted it.
"What?" he snapped.
"That sounded very convincing." Mikasa teased, "It's none of my business anyways. Don't worry about it."
"You think I'm lying?" he questioned defensively.
Mikasa shrugged, "It doesn't really matter what I think. You're the one getting married here."
"No, I'd really like to know what a stranger thinks about my relationship with my fiancée." Levi claimed sarcastically, though he was also being frank, "I'm listening."
Mikasa met his eyes with hers and placed down her fork, "Do you want me to be honest?"
"By all means." He gestured at her with his hand to go ahead and speak up her mind, and crossed his arms against his chest, leaning back on the chair to listen.
"I don't see it." She said outspokenly, "It's in her eyes, but not yours. It almost feels like you're only marrying her to express your gratitude for her support, to return a favor you think you owe her."
Levi stayed speechless for a few remarkable seconds, his arms almost unfolding and dropping to his sides, and his lips parted, wanting to argue against what she said, but nothing came out of his mouth but a soundless breath, and his eyes looked to the side.
Mikasa shook her head, feeling slightly regretful of her words. It seemed she was getting even better at making him uncomfortable. "I could be wrong. I barely know the two of you. I just said that because… I have two friends who are madly in love with each other, and you can see it in their eyes whenever they're together."
Levi clicked his tongue and sighed, "What about you, then? I don't believe this wisdom of yours is a result of observing two of your friends."
Mikasa snickered, "Not really, no… I had an experience of my own."
"Oh?" Levi was curious.
Mikasa noted, "An experience that I don't want to share."
Levi huffed, "I see how it is, so you love digging into other people's shit, but you don't want to share yours? That's very kind."
Mikasa's gaze sharpened, and she spoke stoically, "It's not a great experience. Please respect that."
"I do respect it." Levi shrugged, "You probably don't even remember what happened last night."
Mikasa dropped her fork at that, and looked up at him with clear nervousness in her eyes. "W-what happened, last night?" all she could remember was seeing him in the lobby, and him helping her get to the elevator, but everything after that was a big blur. That explained why she couldn't even remember how she got back in bed. Did she end up telling him something under the drink's influence? Something she wasn't supposed to say?
"I had to carry you all the way to your bed because you were drunkenly sleeping in the hallway, and the lobby before that." He explained simply.
"Is… that all?" Mikasa asked nervously, tapping her foot on the floor.
"You're very welcome." Levi huffed.
Mikasa breathed out, "Thank you for… being so kind."
"That sounds very genuine." he mocked.
Mikasa lowered her head and looked down at her plate, her appetite almost dying out, and she sighed, "I'm sorry if I caused you any trouble. I don't usually drink, unless I was stressed…"
Levi unfolded his arms and took a hold of his fork, "What is it that got you so stressed? I thought you're here to take a break from everything."
"That's personal." Mikasa started to feel bad for dodging all of his questions like that when he answered hers without any complaints, but she still wasn't ready to share those things with him; a stranger she met only last night.
Levi remembered how she was mumbling something in her sleep last night and how there were tears in her eyes. He wanted to know what that was all about, but clearly she had no intention to talk about it, and so with a sigh he resumed eating his breakfast, deciding it was best to leave her be. It was none of his business after all.
The rest of it went quiet, and Levi left the suite shortly after they finished eating. Mikasa decided to go back to unpacking the rest of her bags, and she turned on the TV in the bedroom to keep herself occupied from her own thoughts.
Christmas was around the corner, and naturally almost everything on TV was surrounding the subject. Mikasa wasn't really paying attention to any of it, really, not until she heard the reporter on TV speak to a young woman, asking her about her plans for Christmas.
Mikasa paused to look up at the screen, and listened to the woman speak with excitement and happiness.
"I'm spending Christmas this year together with my fiancée. We're going on vacation together and I'm excited to share this special time of the year with him. We've been saving up money to rent this nice cabin, and it's finally happening!"
Mikasa's head tilted to the side, her gaze softening as she drowned in memories of her own, of a very special Christmas she'd spent with her loved one. She held up her hand, and looked at her now-naked finger, where a ring once was. Her lips pressed together tightly, and she clenched her hand into a fist, holding it to her chest. Her eyes closed for a few seconds, and she breathed in, trying her best to let go of those memories, the memories that no longer brought her joy, only pain and regret.
When she opened her eyes again, her expression was dull, and she held the remote control and turned off the TV, deciding it wasn't helping distract her in the least bit.
It was almost ironic how everything around her reminded her of how stupid and naïve she was, reminding her of things she hated to remember, and she focused on unpacking her bags with the company of silence this time around. She was done within an hour and changed her clothes to go out, put on a warm coat, a pair of gloves and a beanie. She took her purse swiftly, put everything she needed in it and left the suite.
The valet met her halfway outside of the hotel, and he greeted her with a smile, "Good morning, Miss. Would you like me to get your car for you?"
"No, thank you. I'll go on a short walk." Mikasa nodded at the valet, and then began walking, her steps slow, eyes wandering around the place. The street was quite busy, with kids running here and there, elders sitting on a bench and talking, families hanging out together. The only thing that caught Mikasa's attention, however, was a little kid sitting in a park on his own, crying. She debated whether or not she should check on him. Maybe his parents were around and they'd go to him soon, but what if he was alone? What if he got lost? What if someone hurt him?
She couldn't help but walk towards him, and she knelt down in front of him, a friendly smile on her face, "Are you okay? Did someone hurt you?"
The kid looked up at her with puffy eyes and a rosy nose. He hissed, and wiped his eyes with the sleeve of his jacket, shaking his head. "No."
"Did you lose your parents?" she asked, still concerned about him.
"No…" he shook his head again, sniffling.
Mikasa's head tilted to the side slightly, "What's wrong, then? Why are you crying?"
"I… ran away from home." He admitted, his gaze falling away from Mikasa's.
"Ran away from home?" she arched her brows at him, "Why did you do that? Your parents must be really worried about you now."
He shook his head, "My parents don't care about me. They don't love me."
"Why do you say that? Did they do something to you?" Mikasa's concern only grew stronger when hearing the kid's words.
"All I wanted… was a new toy for Christmas to play with my friends… but my parents yelled at me and told me that toys are a waste of a time, and that I should grow up and focus on things that mattered." he explained, tears drenching his eyes.
"Now, now… that's not very nice of them to say…" Mikasa frowned, and reached into her handbag to get out a handkerchief, and then held it out to the kid, "There, wipe away your tears."
The kid looked up at her, then at the handkerchief, and took it from her hand, "Thank you."
"Are you all by yourself in this park?" she asked, looking around them for a bit.
"Yes." He nodded, and wiped his eyes and nose with the handkerchief.
"It's cold… You'll get sick." Mikasa said, but the kid frowned.
"I don't want to go back home." He argued.
"Where do you want to go?" she questioned, but the kid simply shrugged. Of course, he was only a kid following his first instincts. He couldn't have possibly thought this one through, and she wasn't going to let him stay outside by himself like this. "If I got you some toys, would it be okay if I walked you back home?"
"Huh?" his eyes widened at that, and he looked up at her expectantly.
"There should be a toy store nearby. I can go and buy you some stuff from there. You'll have toys to play with, and you can go back home to do so." She offered.
"M-my parents say toys are expensive." The kid hesitated.
Mikasa smiled softly, "I'm sure we'll find something that's nice and cheap."
The boy gasped, his face brightening up, "For real?"
Mikasa nodded at him reassuringly, and the boy chuckled. She got up on her feet again and held her hand out to him. He took it, and stood up quickly.
They turned around, ready to leave the park together, only for Mikasa to freeze in her place, her eyes wide open upon seeing the person standing in front of her.
Confused, she asked, "Levi? What are you doing here?"
He slid his hands into his pockets and said, "I went out for a walk… I guess the world's a small place."
"I see." She nodded, "Well, I was about to leave anyways. It was good to see you again." She excused herself and walked away with the kid.
Levi stood in his place and watched her, though before she could get much further, he called, "Mikasa, wait…"
She paused, and looked at him from over her shoulder.
He got her attention, but he completely forgot what he wanted to say to her, or how he wanted to say it. He gulped, and started, "I was being nosy earlier… and made you uncomfortable. I didn't mean to."
Mikasa looked ahead of her again and shrugged, "It's fine. Don't worry about it."
He sighed, and then added, "I don't really have anything to do right now… I can help if you like."
"Help with what?" she asked, and turned to face him this time.
For some reason he found the look on her face quite intimidating; she looked ready to punch the hell out of his face if he didn't choose his next words carefully, and he wondered if he'd pissed her off that much earlier. "With the kid, I mean… get him some toys."
"Do you have any experience with kids?" she asked, suspecting otherwise.
"Not… exactly." Levi didn't even know how to properly communicate with adults, let alone tiny, little creatures, but he wasn't against trying.
"Maybe you could learn a thing or two, then." She said, and then added, "You're welcome to join us."
Levi sighed in relief, and walked up to the two. He looked down at the kid and asked, "So, what's your name?"
"Alex!" He answered, tugging at Levi's hand to hold it.
"That's a lovely name." Mikasa smiled.
"Can we play a game?" Alex suggested, and the two looked down at him, "Can I call you mom and dad?"
Levi and Mikasa couldn't help but look at each other, their cheeks flushing with a taint of red before looking away from one another.
"That's… uh…" Mikasa stuttered.
"Please!" Alex pleaded, "We can pretend to be a family going out to buy some toys!"
"A family of total strangers." Levi sighed, "As you wish."
Mikasa glared at him for even agreeing to this, but he simply shrugged his shoulders. She looked down at Alex again, and he met her with puppy eyes and a very, very adorable face that she couldn't resist. She threw her head back and sighed, "Okay."
Alex chuckled excitedly, and the three of them walked together, hand in hand. What kind of harm could a little game bring?
They arrived at a toy store soon enough, and let Alex walk around to take a look and choose what he liked. Mikasa stood in front of one of the shelves, checking out all the different dolls and stuffed animals on display. She turned around to look at Alex, and saw him hold onto Levi's coat and pointing up at one of the toy guns, and Levi then picked him up in his arms, and let him get the toy himself.
At that moment, Mikasa froze in her place. Tenderness filled her eyes, softening the curl of her lips into a smile, and her hand moved up shakily to rest on her belly, clutching around her coat into a tight, firm grasp. It was a warm and fuzzy feeling that soon faded away when sadness replaced it, realization settling in that none of this was real. She bit the inside of her cheek, and sniffed, trying to hold back her tears.
"Hey, Mikasa." Levi called to her softly. He, once again, noticed the tears in her eyes, but didn't think now was an appropriate time to ask her about it, "Come help us choose. This kid's as good at making up his mind as a man going through midlife crisis."
Mikasa wiped her eyes quickly and walked up to the two, smiling, "That's not how you talk to a little child."
Levi scoffed, "Then enlighten me."
They took their time looking around the store's different shelves, full of all sorts of toys any kid could dream of, and once they were done shopping, they went back to reception to pay for everything. They got everything in one big bag, and turned around to leave.
"Could you wait for a moment, sir?" The storekeeper asked.
"Yes?" Levi turned around, pausing.
"I'm giving out free Christmas presents to the families and kids who visit my store. It's for good fortune." The shopkeeper said as he opened a box and got out three necklaces, "My wife calls them 'The Wings of Freedom'… I hope you like them."
"Oh, sir, actually we're n—" Mikasa started, about to let him know that they weren't a family, but Levi had to interrupt her.
"Thank you, sir. We're always going to remember this place." He said urgently, and grabbed the necklaces from the old man's hand.
Mikasa wished she could punch him at that moment, though when she looked at the necklaces, and how lovely they were, she thought maybe this wasn't so bad. They had to keep pretending, for the sake of the game, right? "Thank you, sir. That's very kind of you." She murmured in a soft voice.
"Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!" the shopkeeper said with a warm smile, and watched them leave after returning his wishes.
"Now, shall we take you back to your home?" Mikasa asked, looking down at Alex.
"Mom, I'm feeling really hungry. Can we go have lunch?" Alex begged.
"…Lunch?" She wasn't expecting this to last much longer, and thought that the kid would be in a hurry to return home and play with his new toys, but perhaps he enjoyed their company more than she expected.
"That can't hurt." Levi commented, looking at Mikasa.
"Not at all." She nodded in agreement and smiled, "Alright then, let's go get lunch."
"Can we go build a snowman afterwards? I love snowmen!" Alex exclaimed.
"Sure thing, honey. We'll do whatever you like." Mikasa squeezed his tiny hand gently and walked together with him and Levi. She, too, was enjoying this more than she expected.
They found a restaurant not far away, and requested a table. They all took their seats together, and grabbed the menu to take a look at the food options.
"So, sweetie, what do you want to eat?" Mikasa asked the kid, browsing through the menu with him.
Alex looked at the options, and then held up his hand and pointed his finger at one, "Can we get fish?"
Mikasa nodded, "Of course. Fish is good."
"And I'll get a salad." Levi said.
Once their order was served, they began eating, but Alex was having a problem with removing the fish bones, and Levi kept staring at him, he was about to offer his help but Mikasa beat him to it.
"Wait, dear, let me help you with that." She brought his plate close to her and began removing the bones for him.
"Thanks mom." Alex watched her carefully, and so did Levi.
She was really good with children, he thought, better than he ever was, and he couldn't help but point it out, "You… love children, don't you?"
Mikasa looked up at him quietly, and once handing the plate back to Alex she nodded, "I do. Their innocence is refreshing, makes you forget all about the bad things in the world."
Her words came out with a subtle hint of sadness, though Levi was quick to pick up on it, and he wanted to ask, "You got any of your own?"
At that, Mikasa's eyes widened, and her breath stuck in her throat. She parted her lips, wanting to formulate a reply to that, but realized she couldn't. She could feel her throat throbbing, and her heart pounding hard against her chest, the tears burning in her eyes, and Levi regretted asking that all the more.
"It tastes great, thanks mom." Alex's voice soon brought Mikasa back to the present time, and he looked up at her brightly, making her focused on what was happening right in front of her.
No more dwelling on the past. She told herself, remembered the words coming out of her mouth when she was talking to Historia that night. It wasn't easy to do, at all, but she smiled at the boy, and reached her hand to ruffle his hair playfully.
"It's… never late to start over, you know?" although he knew little of her story, Levi could maybe guess what it was about. She said something about losing it, that time in the elevator, and maybe it wasn't so hard for him to put two and two together now. He didn't even recognize himself when he spoke, nor did he know what possessed him to say that to her. He just knew he felt bad for her, and wasn't a fan of seeing that gloomy expression on her face. Mikasa's eyes fixed on his, surprised to hear his words, though she had nothing to say in return.
"I have an idea!" Alex shouted, "Dad, why don't you marry mom and have kids with her?" He spoke in an even louder tone.
Levi choked on his breath at that, and Mikasa's eyes widened.
"Hey, brat, don't yell like that…" Levi warned, but soon realized that everyone who was sitting next to them was giving them suspicious eyes.
"People around us will get it wrong if they hear you saying that…" Mikasa smiled nervously and tried to explain, "They don't know that we're not really your par—"
"But I want you and dad to get married!" he exclaimed.
"Alright, fine we will. Now shut up." Levi demanded, glaring down at the boy.
However, Alex didn't mind him, and proceeded to celebrate the happy news, "Yay! Mom and dad are getting married."
"I said shut up—"
"Eh, back in the day, kids would come after marriage, but nowadays they come much earlier, what a foolish generation." An elderly woman mumbled to her husband as they passed by their table.
Mikasa almost spat out the water she was drinking upon hearing that, but instead she choked on it, and she slammed her fist against her chest repeatedly to help herself breathe. Her cheeks burned red, and so did Levi's, and the two stared at each other, both at loss for words.
"I'm sorry, sir," one of the waiters approached their table, a forced smile obviously on his face, "We would really appreciate it if you told your son to stay quiet. Guests are complaining about the noise."
"It's not what it looks like…" Mikasa tried to explain to the waiter.
"You see, we're not actually married." Levi added.
"Yes, I am pretty sure everyone here knows you two aren't married." The waiter smiled forcefully at the two of them, "Just keep your kid calm, please." The waiter replied sarcastically.
Mikasa wanted to explain further, but she feared that telling the waiter Alex wasn't even their kid would only cause them more trouble. They could accuse them of kidnapping him or something, and that would be even worse than their current situation.
"We're really sorry about that. We'll be leaving soon." Mikasa looked down and said apologetically.
"Well, that was something." Levi said as they walked out of the restaurant.
Mikasa simply side-eyed Levi, before looking down at Alex with a smile. He was only a kid, didn't know what he was doing, and this could be a memory she'd laugh at in the future whenever she remembered it.
"Let's go build a snowman!" she said, and Alex giggled in excitement.
They arrived back at the park where they found Alex, and the snow was thick enough to build as many snowmen as they wanted.
They split the tasks and all three of them worked on getting their part done. Mikasa and Levi were making the snowballs and Alex was searching around for branches and stones that they could use to decorate the snowman. They made the last snowball together, all three of them, placing it at the top for the head of the snowman, and used whatever things Alex picked up to make a silly looking face and some buttons on the body, a couple branches sticking out from the sides. Once they were done, they sat together in front of it, observing the result of their group work proudly.
"What do you think?" Mikasa asked, her eyes on Alex.
"Amazing!" Impressed, Alex exclaimed, his eyes big with amazement.
"It looks like your dad, doesn't it?" Mikasa glimpsed at Levi's face while saying that in a teasing tone.
"Oh?" Levi then tossed some snow at Mikasa's face, "Nah, I think it looks more like you." He teased back.
"No," She gathered some snow in her hand and threw it at Levi's face in revenge, but that only declared the beginning of an intense snowball fight between the two of them, while Alex sat and watched them, laughing at how silly they looked.
"Stop!" She demanded, though her hands were still busy making snowballs to throw at him.
"Ladies first…" Levi said, a snowball ready in his hand, though he held back from throwing it at her for the time being.
"Fine…" She paused, "I stopped."
"So did I." Levi claimed.
"Good." She nodded.
"Good." Levi let go of the snowball he made and dropped it, could swear he saw Mikasa smirking, for whatever reason, but he soon found out why when she surprised him with a snowball to the face.
"Fuck" he cursed, "That's cold." His hand gripped her wrist, making sure she wasn't going to throw more snowballs at him, as he moved his head to shake off the snow.
"Watch your language." She warned him, and was ready to throw another snowball at him with her other hand, but he reacted quickly to it and grabbed her other hand too. Mikasa struggled to free herself from his tight hold, but all the struggle earned her was falling back onto the snow, with her hands pinned down to the ground on each side, and Levi hovering over her.
Her eyes met his in a silent moment, and she stayed still, her breath stuck in her throat. He looked down at her with his sharp, blue eyes, and her heart skipped a beat, the heat in her body burning, as if she wasn't lying in a field of snow. She parted her lips to ask him to get off her, but next thing she knew, his lips pressed against hers forcefully, and her eyes shut within an instant. She lay motionless beneath him, melting into the moment helplessly.
Why wouldn't her body move? She asked herself. Why wouldn't she push him away? She began to feel the heat reach her face, and her chest tightening in anticipation.
Why was she letting an engaged man kiss her?
TBC
A/N: Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed this first chapter. The second one will be coming soon.
If you are an old reader and are familiar with the original one, here's a list of changes to make it easier to understand.
Changes made to the story:
- Characters are more in-character. Levi no longer talks his way into people's pants, Mikasa doesn't have a potty-mouth, and everyone is overall less of an OOC mess.
- Mikasa's family background is different. Because it makes more sense this way.
- Annie is replaced by Sasha. Other than her name having been Annie, she was, indeed, more of a Sasha. I emphasized it more in this version.
- The writing is less cringey. I don't know about you, but I'm feeling 22. My 18 year-old self did not know what she was doing.
- I'm actually more proud of this one.
That's all for now!