Hey everyone Holly here, so Pandora wanted a circus themed AU after watching The Greatest Showman and so this was born, hope you enjoy it and all of the little Greatest Showman references I managed to sneak in ;P

Adrenalin courses through his veins making him light-headed and his entire body tingle. Heart pounding he can still hear the roar of the crowd like the roar of the lions awaiting their meal in their train carriage out back. It's like this every night when he finishes a performance and Yuri wouldn't trade this feeling for the world. This is his life, this is all he knows and all he ever wants to know.

Abandoned by his mother as a baby Yuri was raised by his grandfather but when he died, when Yuri was only nine, it left him all alone in the world with no one and nothing to his name. After a year of wandering the streets he had met JJ – a sparky fourteen year old with a cheeky smile and a million dreams. JJ's family took Yuri in and now, ten years later, JJ made his own dreams come true and Yuri is one of the most popular acts in JJ's Circus of Wonders as an acrobat by the name of Agape the Androgynous Angel.

He lets out a long exhale, smiling to himself as he looks in the mirror of his dressing tent. In the skin tight costume, with his long hair tied back, he really does look like he could be either male or female. He enjoys making the crowd question him – it keeps them wanting more. Reaching up he begins to unpin his hair, letting the braids fall out of their bun and down to curl around his shoulders.

"Knock knock," a sweet voice says from behind him and Yuri turns to see Isabella, JJ's wife, standing in the makeshift doorway of his dressing tent. She's also still in her costume, looking like a vision in rhinestones, feathers and rose gold.

"Evening," Yuri says turning back to his reflection. "Good show tonight," he tells her.

"Thanks," she smiles as she comes to join him, "you too."

"Thanks."

"JJ's very happy with the turn out tonight," Isabella says perching on the edge of the dressing table. "It was a good crowd so he should be."

"Well it was our last show here," Yuri chuckles as he lets the last of his braids fall.

"True," Isabella says. She slides off the edge of the table, picks up Yuri's hairbrush and begins to brush his braids out for him. "Your regular is here to see you by the way."

"Oh..." Otabek...

If the adrenalin hadn't made his heart pound before that one sentence was enough to make it race. He stares at his own reflection and sees the blush dusting his cheeks as Isabella continues to brush his hair out. It's soothing but does nothing to calm the pounding of his heart.

"You okay?" Isabella asks when he doesn't say anything else for a few minutes.

"Y... yeah," he stammers.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah," Yuri replies a little more confidently even though inside he's in turmoil. Maybe it would have been better if he'd just stayed away tonight...

Isabella puts down the brush and her fingers find his temples, rubbing soothing circles against his skin. "You look tense sweetie," she says. "Come on, tell me what's wrong."

Yuri smiles sadly. "I have to say goodbye tonight."

"Oh..."

"Maybe it would have been better if I'd never met him in the first place," Yuri says. "If I hadn't then I wouldn't have to leave him."

"True but you've had a good time with him," Isabella says and a colour rises in Yuri's cheeks as he realises that she probably heard the two of them fucking at some point.

"I... yeah..."

"Then surely it's been worth it," she says.

Yuri shakes his head. "It still would have been better if JJ hadn't introduced us."

Isabella laughs. "You do realise JJ didn't intend for you to sleep with him, you're not a prostitute Yura."

"Yeah... that one was on me," Yuri admits, "but have you seen how gorgeous he is?"

Isabella laughs. "I have yes."

"I wasn't thinking, I just sort of let myself get carried away and now..." he tails off, not wanting to say what he's thinking out loud.

"And now?" Isabella presses when he sits there staring at his own reflection.

"I... I don't know," Yuri lies. He swallows the lump in his throat and blinks away the tears he can feel pricking the corners of his eyes. He does know. He's known for a while that he's actually in love with Otabek and has been for some time but if he says it out loud then it really is true and he has to deal with it.

"Do you want me to tell him that you're not up to any visitors tonight?" Isabella asks after a pause.

Yuri thinks about this for a moment. Maybe I should just see him, if I tell him how I feel it might make things easier. It might mean I can say goodbye to him... He shakes his head. "No it's fine, I'll see him."

"You sure?"

"Yeah," Yuri say turning to smile at her but it's not a smile that quite reaches his eyes.

She seems to notice and the smile she gives him in return seems almost pitying. She leans forward and kisses his forehead before pulling his head close and hugging him. "It will be alright in the end Yura," she tells him. "I promise you.

Yuri hugs her back. "Thanks Bella."

She kisses his hair and pulls back. "I'll go tell him that you're ready to see him if you like?"

"Thank you," he says.

She gives his shoulder a squeeze and leaves to go and retrieve Otabek (who is probably somewhere talking to JJ). Yuri waits till she's gone to put his head in his hands. He's not ready but he doesn't think he ever will be. It's as if he's walking a tightrope without a safety net below – one wrong foot and he'll fall into... He doesn't want to think too much about what will happen if he falls, he just knows that he can't.

Looking back up at himself he realises that his cheeks still have the flush of exhilaration from performing and he looks beautiful. Yuri knows he's blessed with his looks but Otabek is something else. Yuri's never been among the swells before but Otabek is unlike anything of this world. He's stunningly good looking, an absolute gentleman and when they fuck Yuri feels as if he sees god.

If he told Otabek how he feels about him would it change anything? They lead such different lives and Otabek may not love Yuri enough to give up his life of luxury, or take Yuri into it. He's not even sure if Otabek loves him at all – it may just be a good, easy fuck for him. He may not actually care about Yuri at all. That's not exactly a comforting thought when he's about to confess his feelings.

From behind him he hears the ruffle of a curtain and looks up at the mirror. His eyes lock with those of Otabek's reflection and a gasp leaves his lips. Otabek looks as handsome as ever in his pinstripe suit and suspenders and Yuri feels his heart clench. It's too soon... I'm not ready for this. He turns so that he's facing him and gets to his feet.

"Otabek..." he says, his voice more breath than word. He gears himself up to tell Otabek that they need to talk, to finally own up and admit how he truly feels about him, but he doesn't get the chance.

Before he can say anything at all Otabek, who has yet to say a word, lets the curtain drop behind him, crosses the room and slams his lips against Yuri's. It's a fierce, passionate kiss that steals Yuri's mind and makes him moan into Otabek's mouth. One of Otabek's hands sinks into Yuri's hair and the other wraps around his waist to pull him close, so close that Yuri can practically feel his muscles through his clothes.

He reaches round Otabek's neck and runs his hands over his hair, relishing the way the shaved part of his hair scratches against his palms. His fingers curl around some of the longer hair at the crown and tugs lightly. The hand on Yuri's waist slips down to his backside and squeezes the firm flesh. When Otabek pulls away Yuri pants, gasping for breath.

"Otabek..."

"You were stunning out there tonight Yura," Otabek whispers huskily in his ear before taking the lobe in his teeth. "Everyone's eyes were on you."

"I... oh god," Yuri gasps. He's trembling all over as Otabek's teeth drag over the column of his neck. He wants nothing more than for Otabek to sink his teeth into his neck, mark him as his, but Otabek seems more intent on teasing him until he breaks. He lets his head fall back and allows Otabek more of his neck.

"All I could think about when I saw you was getting you alone and ripping this costume off you."

His words have Yuri's heart pounding and his dick twitching and a soft gasp leaves his throat. When he and Otabek had first met it was after a show; JJ introduced Otabek to the entire troupe but he held a special interest for Yuri. Once they were alone Otabek had kissed him and it was the most exciting thing Yuri had ever experienced.

When they had first met Yuri had no idea if Otabek knew he was a man or not – androgyny is part of his act and JJ introduced him by his stage name – so he was worried about the fall out of the kiss. When Otabek stripped his robe off however he wasn't disgusted to find out that he was a man, in fact it seemed to excite him more.

Their romance had been a whirlwind ranging from chaste kisses and loving touches to hard and fast fucks where Yuri dug his nails into Otabek's shoulders and screamed. Once Otabek came to his tent, said nothing (just like tonight), and simply shucked up the skirt of the costume Yuri was wearing and fucked him, hard. It still makes Yuri's knees tremble as he thinks about it and he knows that tonight will be imprinted on his skin for a long time to come.

"Otabek..." he gasps as he's pushed up against his dressing table.

"You're so fucking beautiful," Otabek whispers, almost as if he's in awe.

"Oh god please..." Yuri begs as a hand finds his cock and begins to rub him off through his costume.

"Please what Yura?" Otabek's voice drips sensuality and the promise off sex and it makes Yuri weak, desperate for more.

"Please fuck me!" All thoughts of telling Otabek how he feels about him are gone, all he can think about is having Otabek ram into him as fast and as hard as possible.

Otabek's lips find his again and it's a kiss that steals Yuri's breath away in an instant. He clings to Otabek harder, his fingers tugging his hair as he tries to press himself closer to his body. Otabek's lips move from Yuri's to his ear again and his hot breath against his skin makes Yuri visibly shiver.

"Turn around," Otabek orders.

Yuri does so without question and suddenly there is a hand on his jaw, moving his head so that he has to look directly into the eyes of his own reflection. He swallows, heart pounding, as jade locks on to jade.

"What...?" he begins to ask but the words get caught on the way to his throat.

"Don't look away," Otabek tells him. He presses a kiss to Yuri's cheek, hands creeping up to his shoulders and slipping under the top of his costume. "You're so beautiful, you need to know just how beautiful."

Dutifully Yuri locks eyes with his own reflection. Colour is rising in his cheeks as Otabek peels off the skin tight costume. He doesn't know if he will actually be able to keep looking at himself the whole time at this rate. Otabek must be able to hear the furious pounding of his heart but he doesn't say anything, simply continues to slowly strip him.

Once his chest is exposed Otabek's fingers trail down his sternum before finding his nipples. Yuri sinks his teeth into his bottom lip to stop himself from crying out as Otabek's fingers begin to tease his nipples into hardened peaks. He's always been incredibly sensitive and the sensation as Otabek gives one of his nipples a harsh tug have him arching his back, pressing his chest into Otabek's hands.

"Don't hold it in," Otabek whispers in his ear. "I want to hear those gorgeous moans and whimpers as I fuck you." He gives Yuri's earlobe a teasing bite. "I'm going to make you scream tonight."

"Otabek!" Yuri cries as Otabek gives one of his nipples another harsh tug.

A chuckle meets his ears as Otabek presses a kiss into his hair before inhaling deeply. "You sound so beautiful when you moan," he says. "It makes me want to fuck you all night long so I can hear those gorgeous sounds."

"Oh god..."

"That's it," Otabek hisses. "Don't hold it in, I want to hear you."

Yuri can't help but gasp again as one of Otabek's hands leaves his chest and finds purchase in his hair. Fingers swiftly curl around gold and pull tightly, making Yuri moan loudly. It feels so good that Yuri lets his eyes slip closed, relishing the sweet sting in his scalp. It feels so good and he can't wait to have Otabek's cock ramming into him while he tugs on it.

"Otabek please..." he gasps still desperately trying not to be too loud so that other people don't overhear.

"Patience Yura," Otabek says giving his hair another tug. "I still need to open you up for me."

"Oh fuck..."

"So desperate for me," Otabek muses as he takes hold of Yuri's chin and turns his head so that he can press a kiss to his lips.

"Oh god, Otabek, you're amazing!" All Yuri can think about is Otabek – whenever they're together every other thought is stripped from his head and all that there is is Otabek and what he's doing to him.

Before Yuri can think Otabek is stripping off the rest of his costume leaving him completely naked and exposed, bent over his dressing table. He can feel his entire body trembling with anticipation as Otabek begins to press kisses down his spine. He clenches his fists till his knuckles turn white, Otabek's lips getting lower and lower. His head is spinning and his breath is coming out in pants as he tries to keep his composure.

It's not working.

Just being in the same room as Otabek often has him losing his mind, never mind the fact that Otabek is still fully clothed while he's completely naked. It's all too much, just an over load of pleasure and he needs Otabek to hurry up and fuck him soon. He thinks he might go crazy from the teasing, barely holding it together.

"Holy fuck..." Yuri moans as he feels Otabek's warm hands on the backs of his thighs, fingers digging into the firm flesh hard enough to bruise.

Otabek chuckles again. "You have such a filthy mouth," he teases.

"You... ah... you know this," Yuri stammers, trying to make it seem as if he has some self control but with Otabek's teeth grazing the supple flesh of his backside that is damn near impossible.

"I do," Otabek says and Yuri doesn't have to see his face to know that he's smirking. "I just feel you need to be reminded some times."

"Otabek..."

His begging seems to fall on deaf ears as Otabek grazes his teeth against one of Yuri's ass cheeks. His knees are trembling as he holds onto the side of the dressing table for dear life. He doesn't know how much longer he can hold out – he's painfully hard and Otabek seems to be doing everything in his power to avoid touching his cock. He needs it, he's desperate for some kind of release but he can't prise his hand away from the dressing table to try to get himself off.

Otabek places a hand on one of his trembling knees and Yuri instantly feels a little calmer. "You okay tiger?"

"Y... yeah," he stammers, lying.

"You're trembling," Otabek says.

"Need you," Yuri chokes out. "Need you so badly!"

"Then I'll give you what you need," Otabek says and Yuri could cry with happiness.

He can't bear to look round so he looks into the mirror, seeing Otabek get to his feet. He reaches into his jacket pocket and pulls out a small glass bottle. Yuri knows exactly what's happening and looks away blushing. Being completely naked and wrecked while Otabek still looks as put together as ever makes him feel exposed and vulnerable but it's a feeling he'll happily surrender to in order to be with Otabek.

He closes his eyes, not sure if he can handle seeing Otabek coating his fingers in the oil as he knows what's happening next. They snap open though as he feels the first of Otabek's fingers slide inside him. He slowly pushes his finger in until the palm of his hand is flat against Yuri's ass and Yuri lets his head fall back against Otabek's shoulder, moaning heatedly.

Otabek presses a kiss to his cheek. "You sound so beautiful when you moan like this Yura, so wanton and pretty."

"Otabek..." Yuri gasps like it's the only word his mouth can remember.

Otabek takes hold of Yuri's chin and turns his face to kiss him again. Yuri moans into Otabek's mouth as another finger slips inside him. It's all too much and his head is spinning from the pleasure. He pulls his lips away from Otabek's to gasp in deep breathes of air as Otabek's fingers begin to thrust deep inside him.

"That's it, take me in," Otabek all but purrs in his ear, holding Yuri's face so that he has to look at his own reflection.

Colour rises in Yuri's cheeks again and he knows that Otabek will be able to feel it under his palm but as a third finger slips inside him he can't even begin to care. It's all he can do to stop himself from begging for Otabek to fill him with that huge cock of his.

"Holy shit..." Yuri gasps as Otabek's fingers brush his prostate. "Otabek fuck. I'm ready for you."

"You're ready for me?" Otabek ask teasingly before his teeth scrape the shell of Yuri's ear again.

"Yes!"

"Good because I can't hold back any longer," Otabek growls, voice low and husky. "I need to feel you wrapped around my cock, squeezing me tightly as I fuck you."

"Oh fuck!"

Otabek steals the breath from his lungs with his words and Yuri has to bite down on a whimper of protest at the loss as Otabek's fingers slip out of him. He waits with baited breath, white knuckles gripping the dressing table so hard it hurts. Teeth clenching he looks up into the mirror to meet Otabek's eye and his heart skips as Otabek smirks at him.

He's still fully clothed, just his impressive cock out, as he slips an arm around Yuri's waist and Yuri feels his slick cock rubbing against his ass. He looks absolutely wrecked as he takes in his reflection in the mirror and he knows that it's only about to get worse as Otabek begins to push inside him.

Slowly, teasingly slowly, Otabek pushes into him. Yuri's mouth falls open in a silent scream as he's filled to the hilt and stretched to his limit. Otabek's cock always has the power to leave him completely speechless and now is no different as Otabek stills for a moment when he's fully seated inside Yuri. Otabek presses a sloppy kiss to his cheek, groaning in his ear.

"Fuck, you feel so good," he groans. "So amazing just wrapped around my cock."

"Oh god," Yuri gasps breathily looking at Otabek's reflection and trying to ignore how wrecked he himself looks.

"I'm going to make you scream," Otabek purrs in his ear before pulling out to begin thrusting back in.

And scream Yuri does as Otabek's cock hits his prostate. It's so good and Otabek is in so deep that Yuri can't even think about anything else. Gasps and moans are falling hard and fast from his lips as Otabek fucks into him. One of Otabek's hands is at Yuri's throat, keeping his head in place, while the other slips down his chest to wrap around his cock.

"Oh god Otabek!" Yuri cries as the sensation of Otabek thrusting into him, filling him and jerking his cock at the same time drives his closer and closer to the end. He can feel the coil in his gut winding tighter and tighter, making him tremble even more.

"Fuck, Yura, you feel so good," Otabek groan in his ear, "and you look so beautiful like this."

Yuri's eyes flickers over his own face reflected back at him. His cheeks are flushed, his pupils blown wide and his lips are slick with spit. In short he looks absolutely wrecked but Otabek is clearly loving it so he doesn't try to hide his face. Otabek looks gorgeous as well – fringe sticking to his forehead, jaw set as he tries to hold out a little longer and eyes blazing with a fire that Yuri knows oh so well.

"Otabek..." Yuri gasps. "Otabek I'm going to... oh shit, I'm gonna cum!"

"Then cum for me beautiful," Otabek says. "Look at yourself and watch yourself cum for me."

Obediently Yuri locks eyes with himself, keeping his gaze on his face as his orgasm hits him at full force. A long, drawn out cry is ripped from his throat as he cums; hot, sticky ropes of it covering his chest. He keeps his eyes fixed on his own face, just as ordered until he feels Otabek speeding up the thrusts into him.

"Fuck," he hisses through gritted teeth, "you feel so fucking good tightening around me, I'm gonna cum."

"Cum inside me," Yuri says without thinking, his over stimulated body barely holding itself up.

Another groan rumbles through Otabek to Yuri and Yuri knows that Otabek heard him. It only takes a few more thrusts before Otabek stills and Yuri feels him explode inside him. His entire body feels warm and tingly and like he might collapse at any second but Otabek has a tight hold on him, keeping him on his feet.

"My god, you're amazing," Otabek says, as he hold Yuri tightly.

"I love you," Yuri whispers, more to himself than to Otabek just before his head is turned and Otabek's lips press against his in a heated kiss.

"Say that again," Otabek pants as he pulls away from Yuri's lips before diving back in for another quick kiss.

"What?"

"I love you," Otabek says.

Yuri's heart all but stops. Oh shit, he heard me... Wait is he saying that to me or is he just getting me to say it to make sure he heard me right? "I... I..."

"Did you mean it?" Otabek asks.

"I..." Yuri doesn't know what to say so he decides to go with the truth. "Yes."

"Right..." Otabek says after a pause.

"Right?" Yuri asks. That hadn't exactly been the response he was hoping for. He would even take Otabek suddenly flying into a rage because even Yuri knows he's done something monumentally stupid. But 'right'? That's worse than if he'd have said 'thank you'. Neither of them says anything for a moment, Yuri doesn't dare to and Otabek seems unwilling. Neither of them have moved and Yuri can no longer take the silence between them. "Please say something."

There is another long pause before Otabek finally pulls out of him. "I should go," he says, not meeting Yuri's eyes.

"What?" Yuri asks, turning to him.

"I should go," Otabek says as he tucks his cock back into his trousers and straightens his clothes. "Coming here tonight was a mistake."

"Oh..." A lump fills Yuri's throat, choking him with threatening tears.

Otabek finally looks at him. "I just..." He sighs. "I just had to see you one last time."

He sinks his hand into Yuri's hair and pulls him into another kiss that takes Yuri's breath and steals his mind. In any other circumstance he would completely lose himself in Otabek's kiss but now it feels as if his heart is being torn from his chest. He can't do this anymore.

He places his hands on Otabek's shoulders and pushes him away. "Please don't," he whispers and the hurt look in Otabek's eyes makes Yuri's heart ache. "Please don't, I can't take it." Tears are threatening to spill and it's all Yuri can do to stop himself from breaking down.

"Yura..."

"Don't," Yuri says, turning away in order to pull on his robe. He can feel Otabek's cum trickling down his thigh but he tries to ignore it. "I can't do this," he says. "I can't say goodbye like this."

"Please let me explain," Otabek says.

"What's there to explain?" Yuri asks. "I told you that I love you and you obviously don't feel the same way otherwise you would have said it back."

"But I do love you," Otabek says grabbing Yuri's shoulders and Yuri's heart breaks.

"Please don't say it if you don't mean it," he begs, his voice barely above a whisper.

"I do mean it though," Otabek says, squeezing Yuri's shoulders tightly. "You know I want you, it's not a secret I've tried to hide."

"Then come with me tomorrow," Yuri blurts without thinking. "We're leaving town and we won't be coming back so come with me and then we can be together."

"I can't," Otabek says and Yuri realises that he expected that. "My father has already arrange my marriage and I can't just walk away from that."

"Oh..."

"I'm sorry," Otabek says, pulling Yuri into a tight hug. "I found out earlier today and I know I shouldn't have come here because of it but I had to see you one last time, I had no idea you were leaving tomorrow."

Yuri swallows and leans forward to press a long, last kiss to Otabek's lips. "I love you," he whispers as he pulls away.

"I won't ever forget you," Otabek tells him, running his fingers through Yuri's hair. He pulls Yuri forward slightly and kisses his forehead.

Before Yuri can say or do anything to stop him the warmth of Otabek's body is gone and he has disappeared out of the tent flap and out of Yuri's life forever. It takes a second for everything that has happened in the last few minutes to sink in – Otabek's getting married... Otabek loves me... Otabek's leaving... His legs finally start working again and he darts to the tent flap, yanking it open and sticking his head out of it, eyes searching the darkness for Otabek.

But he's gone. He looks around helplessly but Otabek is nowhere in sight. He wants to call out, to beg him to come back, but he doesn't want to draw any more attention to himself. The people in the surrounding tents must have heard them – he wasn't exactly quiet – and he really doesn't need anyone to hear this part of his evening.

A chocked off sob escapes from his throat only to be swallowed by the darkness seconds later. Slapping a hand over his mouth Yuri darts back inside his tent. He can no longer hold in the tears and they spill down his cheeks. He tries to stop himself from sobbing, tries to stop the pain wrenching his chest as the shine of a thousands spotlights burns out but he can't. To go from that high to this low is crushing and he doesn't know how to stop it. It feels endless and the only thing he can do is shove his face into his hands to muffles the sounds of his cries.

Yuri spends most of the rest of the night crying until he finally falls asleep but his sleep is restless and plagued with dreams of Otabek. He tries to keep it inside but every time his thoughts turn back to Otabek a fresh wave of tears floods over him and he can't stop them so he just rides them out until they've dried up.

He's finished packing his things and he knows that he has to go out and face other people. It's not an attractive prospect but there isn't anything else he can do to occupy his time in the sanctuary of his own tent as it needs to be packed away and put on the train.

Taking a deep breath he grabs his suitcase and steps out into the early morning sun. The light is almost blinding, stinging his sore eyes and he lifts a hand to shade them just in time to see JJ coming towards him, usual winning smile lighting up his face.

"Morning kitten," he says beaming.

"Hi JJ," Yuri mumbles.

"You alright?" JJ asks looking concerned.

Yuri isn't alright. Yuri is about as far from alright as he can possibly be – he feels like he's dying – but he doesn't want to be a bother. He doesn't want JJ to worry about him as he has enough to think about with moving to a new town to have his time occupied by worrying about Yuri and his problems.

"I'm fine," Yuri lies.

JJ looks at him and Yuri knows that he knows he's lying. JJ has always been able to read him like an open book and clearly now is no different. He takes hold of Yuri's wrist and pulls him back inside the tent.

"JJ what the...?"

Before Yuri can finish his sentence, JJ throws his arms around him and pulls him into a tight hug. "You don't have to put on a brave face kitten, I know."

"Know what?" Yuri asks but there's a definite catch in his voice. Please don't ask me because I don't think I can handle it if you do.

"About last night," JJ replies, hugging Yuri tighter. "I'm so sorry."

"How?" Yuri asks looking up at him.

"I'm sorry, I heard," JJ admits.

"What?" Yuri's eyes widen and a blush springs to life on his cheeks. He heard?! Oh my god he head me and Otabek having sex! This is terrible! This is the worst!

"I didn't hear everything," JJ says hurriedly. "I just happened to be walking past as he was leaving and I heard what he said."

"Oh..."

"I'm so sorry kitten," JJ says pulling him close again. "I know how much he meant to you."

"I just... I just don't know what to do now," Yuri says, dissolving into tears again and burying his face into JJ's chest as he cries.

JJ doesn't say anything, he just holds Yuri tightly as he cries into his chest. He strokes Yuri's hair soothingly until he's calmed down to quiet sobs and hiccups. "There's not much left to pack, do you want to just go and wait on the train."

Yuri opens his mouth, about to protest, to say no he can handle it but a sob racks his chest. He closes his mouth and nods. "Yes please."

"That's fine," JJ says and presses a kiss to Yuri's forehead. "Do what you need to do."

"Thanks JJ," Yuri sniffs wiping his eyes with the back of his hand.

"No problem." JJ gives Yuri's hair a ruffle. "I'll come and find you later, alright?"

"Yeah." Yuri straightens himself out, picks up his bag and heads out of the tent. As he reaches the entrance JJ calls him back.

"Hey kitten..."

"Yeah."

"Everything will work out in the end," JJ says with a smile, "I promise you."

"Sure thing," Yuri says. He doesn't really believe him but it gives him the tiniest flicker of hope that he won't feel like this forever.

He heads over to the train and settles himself in his usual carriage, staring out of the window. He watches the rest of the troupe packing up. He feels a little guilty for not helping but he doesn't want to be around people right now. He stares out the window, almost in a daze, not actually paying attention to anything going on around him. All he can think about is Otabek and every time he does his heart aches.

The day passes and eventually the train begins to pull away from it's stop. Most of the rest of the troupe are hanging out of the windows, waving at the crowd that has come to see them off. Normally Yuri would be doing the same thing but he doesn't feel up to it today. He doesn't even feel like looking out of the window but he can't be bothered to move.

As he stares out of the window blankly, something starts to catch his attention; someone running towards the train. At first he thinks nothing of it – probably just some overly enthusiastic kid – but then they begin to get closer and Yuri hears the someone calling out his name as they run towards the train.

"Yuri!"

His eyes widen, his heart stops and he leans out of the window, desperate for confirmation that he's not imagining things, that this is really happening.

"Otabek!"

The train begins to pick up speed and so does Otabek. Yuri's heart is pounding now. He has to get here, it can't end like this if he's come back for me. Yuri darts to the side door of the carriage and pulls it open. Otabek is nearly at the train but with each second it begins to get faster and faster and Yuri dreads the prospect of him not catching it.

"Otabek!" Yuri calls again, reaching down and holding out his hand. His breath is still in his throat and he prays that his hands aren't sweating as Otabek, now within touching distance, manages to reach out and grab it. Using every ounce of strength he has Yuri pulls Otabek up and into the carriage. The force of Otabek being pulled in is enough to knock them to the floor, Otabek catching himself on his palms before he crushes Yuri beneath him.

"Hi..." he pants gazing down into Yuri's eyes.

"Hello..." Yuri says, equally as breathless even though he isn't the one who's just run onto a moving train.

Without giving him a second to catch his breath Otabek slams his lips against Yuri's, kissing him fiercely. It steals what little remaining breath Yuri has and Yuri doesn't care in the slightest as he sinks his fingers into Otabek's hair and pulls him close.

"What are you doing here?" he gasp when they finally pull apart for air.

"I couldn't leave it like that," Otabek says, holding himself up on one hand to run his thumb over Yuri's bottom lip. "I had to see you again, to tell you how I really feel, properly this time."

Yuri hardly dares to believe that this is even real; he's here and he's saying that he wants him. "And how do you really feel?" Yuri asks, barely daring to breathe.

"I love you," Otabek says. "I know I said it last night but I love you and I couldn't stand the thought of not ever seeing you again. These last few weeks with you has been the most amazing of my life and you have changed me for the better. I never want to be apart from you again if you'll let me."

"But what about your fiancé?" Yuri asks in a small voice.

"I didn't love her," Otabek replies. "I barely knew her and I told my father last night that I didn't want to marry her. He said that if I didn't I would never set foot in his house again so I told him that I was leaving and that I wouldn't be coming back."

"And you did all that for me?" Yuri asks still not daring to believe that this is real but the weight of Otabek on top of him tells him it is.

"I did," Otabek says smiling at him.

"Why?" Yuri asks.

"Because," Otabek says as he gets to his feet, helping Yuri to stand as well," I love you and there is nothing on this earth that will change that."

"So you're really doing this?" Yuri ask unable to stop himself from smiling. "You're really going to run away with me and the circus?"

"I'm sure JJ can find me something to do," Otabek replies with a shrug.

"But I can't give you the kind of life you're leaving behind," Yuri warns.

"I don't care," Otabek tells him. "I was trapped in that life of parties and plays and now I'm finally free to fly and be with the man I love."

"Circus life is hard work," Yuri says in a last ditch attempt to change Otabek's mind and wake him to the realisation of his decision.

"I'm sure I can handle it," Otabek chuckles. He brushes Yuri's hair away from his face. "You're not going to be able to get change my mind, I'm staying and from now on you're stuck with me."

A smile spreads over Yuri's face and he reaches up to sink his hands into Otabek's hair, pulling him close. "I love you," he says before pressing his lips to Otabek's in a long, slow kiss that makes both of them weak.

"I love you too," Otabek says as they pull apart before leaning back down to kiss him again, pouring everything he has into it as he wraps Yuri up in his arms.