"Are you bored with your Oyaji, my son?" Whitebeard asked in a teasing manner.

Das knew it was teasing, but he still flinched anyway, looking away from the two wrestling on deck. "Sorry, Oyaji. I was paying attention. Honest." Not exactly a lie, since he had been listening even if he had been watching the group of pirates roughhousing. The captain had been talking about what it had been like on the sea when he had been a young pirate. It was exciting, and Oyaji made the stories come alive.

"That's quite all right." The captain leaned back, arm protectively around him to prevent the teen from falling from his seat on the captain's knee. It had taken a long time for Das to feel comfortable there, but he liked how he could see almost everything on the deck. Oyaji had been patient with him, too. He never got mad when Das flinched away from his large hands. It was… nice. Even if itwas frustrating because there was no reasonto flinch he couldn't stop . "Do you want to join them, Son?"

He shrugged, turning his attention away as the others joined to look at Oyaji. He liked how Oyaji said that - Son - almost like it was his name. It was a much nicer name, even if it still wasn't a name. Oyaji never called him Das anymore, either. Sometimes like now it made him want to tell Oyaji to call him… something… he sighed in frustration as the thought slipped away. "No. I'd get in the way."

"I assure you, your brothers would never think you were in the way." Whitebeard reminded him easily. "But we can watch, if you prefer."

"Do… do you want to join them?"

A warm chuckle was more than enough to calm the slight panic he still felt askingquestions. "I fear I'm too old for play like that, Son."

" I don't think you're too old, Oyaji." He muttered, feeling his cheeks heat up as he reminded himself that it wasn't bad to have opinion or express them.

"I'm glad you think that about your old man, Son." Whitebeard chuckled, leaning in a bit, "But I think that most of your sisters disagree."

He had to nod his agreement at that. His many sisters could be scary when they thought you were going to hurt yourself. "Maybe … you should stay here. Just in case."

"Maybe." For a while the two of them sat in silence. It wasn't the tense fearful silence Das remembered but a warmer calm one that reminded him of before. He found his eyes sliding over the others again, uncomfortable looking at them for too long. "If they upset you, all you have to do is say so, Son." Whitebeard rumbled.

He worried his lip, watching his own hands as the tugged on the bottom of his shirt. "They're leaving soon."

"Yes. Day after tomorrow." He glanced up at Oyaji's face, nervous energy making him anxious. Oyaji didn't say how he'd make them leave now if Das asked… he didn't need to. His youngest son knew it all the same.

"They … won't come back?" He asked, looking away again as he felt the intensity of the Captain's attention.

Whitebeard made a non-committal sound. "If that is what you want."

"... Marco doesn't like them."

"Marco is not always good at sharing." Oyaji replied with the humor of a loving parent. "He is growing to like them." Das admitted that was true. He fidgeted again. "Come, tell an old man what bothers you, Son. I trust your judgement; all your brothers here do."

He knew that was true. Felt it deep inside where the parts left from before where hidden. It calmed him and frustrated him at the same time. "I don't not like them." He said at last.

"But you don't like them?"

"No...not that." Das knew what it felt like to dislike someone. Had always known to listen to that feeling from deep inside, even if he couldn't act on it. This was different, though. It wasn't a feeling Das was familiar with. He hated it; Das didn't remember and he didn't remember not being Das. Not really.

"You don't have to remember, Son." Oyaji spoke, once again knowing what was going on in his head. "You've been making new memories, after all. Maybe not better, but precious all the same."

That… was true. He felt himself relax. Thinking of it that way, he tried to relate what he was feeling to something he understood. It felt… awkward and weird. "He's supposed to have a hat."

"Sabo?" Whitebeard asked, causing him to jump. He hadn't realized he'd spoken out loud.

"No, but him too." He replied after a moment.

"I had forgotten. You don't like hats."

"No, I don't like stupid hats." He replied, the usual buzzing thoughts of fire-pain-loss-hurtmuted as he glowered towards where the stupid-heads were without their hats.

"I see. And Jiro's hat-"

"Is the stupidest, Oyaji. It don't make him look taller or cooler or anything and it falls off all the time." He didn't hear the snort of laughter from his Oyaji as he ranted. Nor did he notice Whitebeard's attention sharpen as he continued, blithely working through while he was annoyed and not really paying attention to the words he was saying. "Boshi was a cool hat. The coolest, Oyaji, because it was mine." He remembered the feel of warm straw, the musty smell of sweat and salt. "It was a promise. And…" he shuddered, mind flinching away from the memories that burned worse than the scar on his back. When he came back to himself he found he was being held against Oyaji's chest, the man using a large finger to rub soothing circles on his back. "Sorry."

"For what, Son? We all have things that hurt to remember. What kind of father would I be if I didn't offer what comfort I could when you need it?" The captain gently shook him, already knowing what he was thinking. "You are not broken, boy. No more than anyone else on this ship."

The part of him that was Das thought he was wrong; that he was broken beyond repair. The other part - the part that was some of before and lots of now - thought they were all pretty broken, but found it funny. Like one of Haruta's bad jokes. He thought maybe that part was right, more so then the Das-part. "Yes, Oyaji."

A moment passed before Oyaji spoke again, "I'll admit that Sabo-brat has a decent hat."

"He always had that hat, though. Which is why Ace needed one." He replied, lost in a memory, "It was a...Because he was leaving. And if Sabo had a hat when he …" his mind said died but that wasn't right because Sabo was not dead and it felt warm/sad/confusing "... left, and I had Boshi he needed one, too."

"Ahh, so it was a gift." Oyaji said warmly.

"... He doesn't have the hat." Das-part said it was because Ace didn't want anything from a useless thing like Das. The rest of him was annoyed and maybe a bit hurt.

"Son, they are not wearing their hats because of you." When Das stared at him wide eyed Oyaji smiled kindly. "Foolish brat, they came here for you. None of your brothers wanted to upset you. He hadn't mentioned it was something you had given him."

That made sense to him. Ace was a private person. Even if he didn't really remember it, he could tell. The Shichibukai shared less than the Revolutionary Army members put together. "But, he still has the hat then?"

"Why don't you go ask?" Oyaji replied, a warm smile tugging his lips.

Das hesitated, but the rest of him didn't. He was off and moving before he had even thought to actually ask, too caught up between the before and the now and the thenwas just dragged along for the ride. That was alright, though because Oyaji said so. He wasn't who he had been before, and he didn'twant to be Das anymore. He didn't need to, not now and not ever again. Whoever he had been, whoever he was…. His family was there for him now. All of them were. And he wanted to get better at being himself for them.

It felt like seconds and like a lifetime and he was there amongst the people who meant the most to him. Marco of course noticed him first. He always did. Sleepy blue eyes watched him carefully as his eldest brother welcomed him into the group. "Getting bored just watching, yoi?"

"No." He would never get tired of watching his family.

"Brat." Thatch teased, ruffling his hair. He felt a smile form as he ducked under the hand to stand in front of Ace.

The pirate watched him with cold eyes. There was pain hidden there. Pain Das had caused, somehow. "What's up, L-ittle man?"

He frowned, unhappy that Ace kept doing that. Ace always did that; avoided things that could hurt. Lu-who ever he was… he wasn't like that. Not before or then. And he wasn't going to be like that now. "Your hat. You're not wearing it."

The man froze, probably because Thatch and Marco were looking at him with their scary faces. "No?"

"Ace needs to wear his hat. It's important , right?" He tugged on Ace's arm impatiently, uncaring of the drama his big brothers were making. "Come on let's go! I wanna see the hat!"

"Fine I'm coming!" Ace replied, shooting Sabo a helpless look as the other three trailed after them.

"Why's it so important, kiddo?" Thatch asked, bemused but easy going as always.

"Yeah, it's just a hat." Sabo added, "Not as cool as mine, though."

"Hey, it's way cooler than yours!"

"It's orange, Ace."

"I like orange!"

"I'm with Sabo on this one, yoi."

"You-you shut up. You wear purple, you...stupid blue turkey."

"He called you a turkey." Thatch teased, holding the door of the room open as everyone crowded into the room. It wasn't very big, more of a storage room than anything else. It felt cozy and familiar in a way that might have been important.

It wasn't as important as the hat, though. "You kept it!"

"Of course I did, idiot." Ace's smile was a little warm, and a little like his stomach hurt as he handed over the hat.

The teen fingered the beads before running the weighted cord through his hands as he sat on the bare floor. It felt like a promise half forgotten but kept all the same. He smiled. "You kept it… look, Thatch. He kept it."

"Yeah?" Thatch sat next to him. "It's… very orange. Very."

"Ace likes orange. It's his favorite color." He replied, remembering. "The blue, that was for Sabo. 'cause he always liked blue. But only certain blues."

"Yeah, Dadan said you spent a week bugging poor Makino." Ace replied, joining them on the floor.

"She wanted to help." He said, sure of it even though he didn't remember who Makino was. Just… laughter and warmth. "The red… that was for… Das. No. Me. The… the me frombefore." He made a frustrated sound.

"You're still you." Ace said, larger hand covering his much smaller one where it clutched the weight.

"No-"

"Yes." Ace spat back, "You listen here you little idiot, I did not just spend a weekbehaving myself -"

"This was behaved, yoi?"

"You have no idea." Sabo answered.

"I behaved, alright? Mostly. Because you were here. And I-"

"I'm not-"

"Would you just let me finish, Luffy?" He looked up at Ace surprised. That name… it sounded familiar. It felt right when Ace said it like that. All annoyed-but-happy. "I was saying I behaved because you were here. And there's no one else I'd rather spend time with."

"Even Sabo?"

"Even Sabo."

"Considering he thought you were dead, that's a bit insulting." Thatch put in. Sabo just shrugged, not bothered in the slightest.

"...Even if I'm not…Luffy… anymore?" He kept going, talking over his brothers' protests, "I'm not. I remember being Luffy, sometimes. But I remember being Das all the time. I… I don't want to be Das anymore. But, I don't think I can be Luffy. Not after... I can't. I'm sorry."

"You don't have to apologise, yoi."

He shook his head, tears threatening to fall. "You don't understand, they took everything and I don't remember how to be anything but Das! I can't-"

"I… might not have a right to say this. Since it's my fault. All of it." He was wrong, Ace was so wrong, he felt it more strongly than anything. It was one thing every part of him knew. His brothers would never hurt him. Ace would never hurt him. The thought struck him, echoing inside as something clicked even as Ace kept talking. "You don't have totry to be Luffy. You still are. Even the parts of you you don't like. Cause, if my little brother could accept me… with everything I am… then I sure as hell better be man enough to accept him, right?"

"...Even…"

"Even if you suddenly turn into a stinky marine that liked vegetables."

"That's it! Group hug!" Thatch cried, sniffing loudly as he yanked everyone in for a big hug. "I can't take it anymore, Marco! We're kidnapping them all!"

"You can't kidnap me, I'm a Shichibukai! That's like… a declaration of war or something!"

"Then quit."

" What?! Sabo! A little help?!"

"Can I get kidnapped but still do my whole… lead an army thing I wonder…."

Da- no, Luffy, he wanted to be Luffy again - laughed. It felt right, even if it felt like he was one of Rakuyo's puzzles; missing the box and a lot of pieces, what was left pretty chewed up, too. It was still right, because his family didn't care. They could still see him, even when he couldn't anymore. They saw him, and they loved him even then. No, they loved him because they saw him. He didn't think it was possible, but he loved them even more because of it. His family, his everything.

"Ah hell." Marco said, no real heat to it as he melted into the group hug. "Fine. I'll go talk to Oyaji. But I'm still the favorite."

"Hey!"

"No way!"

" I'm the favorite!"

Marco let out a laugh. "Alright, Luffy's the favorite."

Outvoted, Luffy let them think that. Besides, they were all his favorites, and this way he didn't have to share.