Hey guys... remember me. First of all, my bad. I got a little caught up between studying abroad over the summer and then moving to a new continent. Sorry about that one. I'm going to try and get more regular with my updates again. Thanks for sticking around.

I faded the ERS just a touch, it was too garish on our actor, washing him out. Philip smacked his lips and turned his head to press it into the hollow of my other collarbone, roused by my reach forward to the lightboard. He was so warm, straddling my lap, arms around my neck, puddle of drool dampening my t-shirt. Alex was situated down in the wing with his headset on prepping actors and scenery to hit their cues, making sure that everything was perfect. His attention to detail was one of the things I loved most about him. I snapped a selfie of Philip passed out on me and sent it to Alex, watched him glance at his phone, briefly illuminated by the screen. His face bloomed into a grin and he pocketed his phone, retrieved his penlight and flickered out our code on the floor. Three quick flashes of the light, I-Love-You.

As the show went on, I caught myself swaying side to side rhythmically, in time with Philip's breathing, pressing little kisses on the top of his head, his messy bun tickling my nose. After the show - and a cigarette - Alex came up to my booth, satchel already slung over his shoulder and pouted an endearing face to me.

"All of act two." I whispered.

"Been a while since he slept that long in a show." Alex whispered back with a frown and crossed the tiny booth to feel Philip's forehead, deepening his frown.

"Yeah, I know, he said he had a long day at school."

Alex rolled his eyes and grinned at our precocious boy.

"For all of us," Alex yawned in agreement.

Alex took Philip so that I could put my coat on, and gather my things into my backpack.

"Want me to take him back?" I offered, trying to give Alex's tired body some respite.

"Nah, you've done enough." He kissed Philip's hair.

We made our way out of the theatre, Philip garnering attention from the actors as they bundled themselves in their warm street clothes. I held the door for Alex and watched him cringe as Philip's foot smacked into the doorjamb. Philip turned his head, Alex quick to soothe him back to sleep.

The motion of the subway was lulling to us all, Alex leaned into me with his eyes closed and I watched over them both. Alex was snoring softly into my chest by the time we arrived at our stop.

"Darlin', wake up." I kissed Alex's temple and his eyes shot open.

"Sorry, didn't even realize I fell asleep."

"I gotcha, always."

He passed Philip back to me and we started the trek from the station to our apartment, Alex lighting a cigarette once we hit ground level. Philip rubbed his face against my collarbone and sniffed me, becoming aware of the switch we'd made, "want daddy."

Alex and I made eye contact and he took a long pull off the cigarette, blew smoke out of the corner of his mouth around it and let me hand our son to him. I plucked the cigarette from his lips and took a drag for myself as he adjusted to carry the boy more comfortably. After a final pull, I flicked the cigarette to the curb and held the door to our apartment open for Alex who was more cautious with Philip's feet this time around.

Alex put Philip to bed while I brushed my teeth, he went down quickly and Alex joined me in the bathroom. He piped toothpaste on his brush, stuck it in his mouth and stood over the toilet, unzipped his jeans and took a piss, brushing his teeth with his free hand. I shook my head at his multitasking.

"You're a lot, you know that?" I chuckled, spitting in the sink and rinsing my brush.

Alex shrugged, flushed the toilet, and washed his hands before finishing brushing his teeth. He wiped toothpaste foam out of his goatee while I let my hair down and rubbed my sore scalp. We traded places in the mirror and I examined a spot on my chin, wondering if I'd be sixty and still have acne.

"Let's go to bed, sweetheart." Alex leaned against my back.

I rubbed a hand over my face and spun to face him, leaning back against the counter, I held him to me, "do you know how much I love you?"

He nodded happily and looked up at me with an equally tired and cheesy grin.

"You know how much I love your kid?"

"Our kid." He corrected.

"Our kid," I agreed, kissing the spot on his finger where his ring sat.

"Love you too, Jack."

"Come on, let's go to bed." I kissed his hand again, savouring the moment.

Once we got in bed he curled up next to me, "I'll do the show," silence hung between us, "if we can really find space, time, and funding… I'll do the show."

My face was split by my grin, "I've been waiting for you to say that. We'll figure it out. I'll help you."

"I know you will. I don't know, maybe I should just sell the rights."

"Alex, darlin', no, do the show. Philip will think it's so cool. He eats up our theatre nights as it is, do you know how much cooler he'll think it is when they're performing the songs you wrote, that he watched you write?"

"I know… it's just like holy shit big, you know?"

"I know. I'm proud of you, we've got this."

"I want to get married first, though."

"Okay, whenever, we can get the papers done whenever you want."

"I just want to be able to thank my husband in the program."

My cheeks flamed, "I love you so much, Alex."

"Love you forever."

We fell asleep not long after that and I didn't stir until morning when Alex's alarm woke us. He blinked and wiped his face.

"You know… I wish, just once, I could sneak out of bed, leave you sleeping, and then come wake you up with coffee." I teased him.

"That's sweet, but it's never gonna happen."

"I don't know how you wake up so easily."

He stroked my side, "you've never had a baby."

"Is it that bad?"

"Worse." He nodded, "you're lucky you showed up when you did."

"I'd go back in time if I could. Wouldn't have missed a thing."

"I wish you'd been there." He confessed.

"I wish I could have helped you. I mean, I was still getting my shit together… but I guess you don't need to have your shit together to change a diaper."

"I'm living proof that that's true. God, he was a fucking cute baby."

"I know… I've seen the pictures."

"Pictures are nothing on the real thing… and he smelled so good. He was such a cuddly little guy." Alex smiled dopily and the memories.

"Stop it, you're giving me baby fever." I giggled.

"Maybe someday,"

"Nah… we got a good thing going, the three of us, plus, we've got a baby."

"Oh?" He cocked an eyebrow.

"Your show, Alex. Your show. It's our baby… and I'm here to help this time. I'm here to change the diapers this time."

"Couldn't do it without you. Guess I better talk to Laf."

"What was it like getting this show going?"

"I don't know, it was pretty straightforward… really easy, actually, everything just fell into place. It was especially easy because we ended up at this theatre where Laf knew the Master Electrician... he's this super sexy guy, big, soft eyes, covered in a million freckles, tall, smells good, funny. Kind of a daredevil, though."

"Oh, yeah?" I played coy, leaning up onto my elbow.

"Yeah," Alex bit his lip and looked up at me from the pillows.

"Maybe I should go beat this guy up, huh? Trying to steal my guy."

"Ooh, your toxic masculinity is so hot." Alex mocked.

I dipped into my southern drawl, "figure, me'n a couple the boys go find this sumbitch, rough 'im up a little bit, yeah?"

Alex giggled into my chest, "stop it, you big dork."

I cupped his cheek with my hand and looked into his eyes, losing the accent before I spoke, "want to make Philip late for school?"

He nodded and reached under the blankets to rid himself of his sweatpants and we did just that. Philip complained on the way to school we forgot to wake him up on time and now he was going to be late to school. Alex tried his best to play it off.

"Sometimes daddy accidentally sleeps in, sorry kid."

"Daddy, please you never sleep in… and whenever you do you get all mad and, like, kind of grumpy and yell-y, but this morning you slept in and you were all happy and smiley like when the time papi first came over when you said you weren't boyfriends, but then you were boyfriends."

Smart kid, I chuckled as we crossed the street.

"I don't know what to tell you, bud. I guess I was just really sleepy."

"You should go to bed earlier."

Alex poked him on the nose, "I was working and there's no one to carry me home."

"Papi could carry you, he's really strong."

"But then who would carry you?" Alex countered.

I roared playfully and grabbed Philip in a football hold and then hoisted Alex to my hip like a bad imitation of Tarzan and Jane.

"See, daddy! He's strong!" Philip squealed in delight.

I set them both back on the ground, ignoring the fucking New York faces people on their way to work were making from down the street.

"I can't believe you just did that." Alex shook his head with a smirk.

"Well, had to prove just how strong I am, right, turtle?"

"The strongest." He flexed a bicep.

I squeezed his arm, "second strongest guy."

"I want to pick you up, papi!" He wrapped his arms around my thighs and lifted as hard as he could.

With a hand balancing on Alex's shoulder, I rose to my tip toes and gasped, "whoa! You're so strong!"

He let go and dropped back to my heels.

"Daddy, did you see how strong I am that I picked up Papi? I picked up the strongest guy in the whole world."

"Omnipotence paradox," Alex mumbled.

"What's that, daddy?"

"Um… philosophy. It's a question people ask. Can an all powerful God make something so heavy that even he can't lift it? Can he make a stone so great that can't be lifted, or in his omnipotence is he strong enough to lift anything?"

"That's weird, it makes my brain hurt." Philip wiped his eyes.

"Me too, daddy's just over there being a genius again." I agreed with him.

"Yeah, 'cause if you're the strongest guy, then my daddy's definitely the smartest guy."

"He's way smart. Smarter than me."

"Oh, please, you're both smart." Alex rolled his eyes at us.

"Have a good day at school, turtle," I squeezed Philip's shoulder as we arrived at the brick building.

"I will. Love you, papi," he hugged me and turned to hug Alex, "love you, daddy."

"Bye, Pip, love you." We echoed, waving to his teacher.

Alex lit a cigarette once we rounded the corner, his nerves creeping in.

"What's up, sugar?" I asked, stroking the back of his hand with my thumb.

"Just don't know where to start with the show. I… it's a lot. I don't know how to start."

"Well, you already started, you wrote a whole musical… I think that definitely counts as a solid beginning. You decided to go to production, so I think that counts too. I've never put on a show before, but I'm pretty sure the next step is me taking you to breakfast."

"That sounds about right." He leaned his head into my shoulder.

"And then you talk to Laf. I know you know what to do, you were his right hand man in getting this show put on."

"You're right. I think I was just really preoccupied then, I forgot a lot of it."

"I'm here this time, I'll help."

He took a long drag off the cigarette and looked at the ground.

I sighed, "you weren't talking about Pip were you?"

He just shook his head.

Fucking.

Thomas.

"Baby, darlin', sugar, 'mere," I swallowed him up in the biggest hug I could, "it's okay, Alex, I've got you."

"Just… last time I was working on getting a show together… it was… different."

"Goddamn right it was different, this time, you've got a partner, you've got a papi for Philip. I will be there."

"I know. I know. Just… I'm just so lucky."

I guided him into the diner and we took our seat in the corner booth. Alex pulled a notebook out of his satchel and started looking through scattered old notes. I pulled the notebook away and set it on the booth sensing his mania percolating.

"Not now, babe, right now, we take the first step and we enjoy breakfast."

He nodded again, "okay, okay, you're right."

"I know. Now let's get you some food."

"And coffee." He kissed me.

"That goes without saying."

Morning breakfast dates were always the best, we talked a little bit about the show, but mostly about other things, he brought up his dad, wondering if running his own show would be too vulnerable. I didn't have very much in the way of advice to offer, but he couldn't keep hiding from the man forever.

When the ticket was paid, we strolled into work and I kissed Alex, offering him a vote of confidence as he went to go find Lafayette.