Title: call the ocean waves ashore

Rating: T

Summary: Funny, the things people do in the name of Glory. [OC-centric, eSports!OC, starts pre-canon, AU]

Warnings: None.

(AN at bottom.)

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call the ocean waves ashore

"05: to brace against the swelling tide"

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"For heavens' sake, Lilith, how long are you going to stay glued to your computer screen?!"

Ever since Xia Lan had somehow managed to wrangle her mother's reluctant agreement with regards to her plans of taking a shot at professional gaming, the girl can't help but notice how the woman has become markedly more sensitive to the amount of time she spends on her computer. Wu Yueru never used to care much for her daughter's habits, perfectly content to leave the girl to her own devices while she went about her own goals, so long as the girl kept her grades high… but that is no longer the case. Hadn't been, for quite some time. Not since…

…

On one hand, Xia Lan supposes that it's a good thing that Wu Yueru is much more invested in her daughter's life these days. Xia Lan still remembers all too well the distant days of empty rooms and tomb-like silences in too-large rooms back in China, still remembers the way Wu Yueru doesn't so much as spare a single glance for her daughter after returning home from work after moving to another country. It… it's not like she ever needed the attention in the first place; Xia Lan knows how to cook and clean and get groceries and do the housework, and that's what she's always done, but–

But on the other hand, she would very much appreciate it if her mother would allow her to focus properly on her goals instead of 'running interference' at every possible opportunity.

… Then again, most people don't approve of gaming as something worth pursuing in any real seriousness, so it's not like the girl doesn't understand where her mother is coming from. Not that it helps things any.

"Lilith!"

Xia Lan shoots off a quick, hurried farewell to Cloudburst, just as Wu Yueru slams open the door to her room. She's been down in the Arena with Cloudburst pretty much as often as she can recently –she'd been able to win their first match together what seems like ages ago by relying on her hand speed, but Cloudburst is good, and Xia Lan walks away from every match with him feeling like she's learned a little more. It's lucky that Cloudburst takes her enthusiasm for PK challenges in good humor, and seems perfectly willing to give some pointers here and there. Xia Lan reciprocates by offering rare materials, some of which Cloudburst accepts, others reject –and it's an amiable enough relationship that they've built up, these days.

[Cloudburst]: No problem. See you later!

There is a heavy thud from the sound of door striking the wall, and her mother strides through the doorway with a scowl, arms crossed.

From the looks of it, 'later' is probably going to be… much, much later.

Xia Lan takes off her headset and places it on her desk, turning to face her mother.

"Why are you still sitting here? Didn't I tell you to do the dishes before holing yourself upstairs?" Wu Yueru is very clearly angry, upset, but–

"I already did. They're drying on the dish rack." Xia Lan blinks, confused. Her mother's righteous anger doesn't strike her as false, but the reasoning throws her for a loop. Not washing the dishes, of all things? … She's been taking care of pretty much all the household chores ever since they moved here and her mother started consistently working late into the night. No one else was going to take care of the housework, certainly, and it's not like Xia Lan minded it very much in the first place. Taking care of a child as a single parent couldn't be easy, so doing her best to ease Wu Yueru's burdens was the least she could do.

And now, this.

"'Drying on the dish rack,' you say? … Come here."

Xia Lan slides down from her chair and onto her feet, silently following her fuming mother out of her room. It's lucky that she just finished another round in the Arena with Cloudburst and is currently in a safe zone… She really doesn't think her mother would've appreciated it if she took a few seconds to take Athena to a safe zone before heading out with her.

"Look." Clipped, short. Wu Yueru stops at the entryway to the kitchen, and roughly gestures towards the sink. The sink which is decidedly not empty, which… doesn't really make any sense? "What do you have to say for yourself?"

Xia Lan frowns, because she most certainly washed the lunch dishes before heading upstairs, so what she's seeing right now doesn't make any sense, and it's–

It's not the lunch dishes?

"These aren't the dishes from lunch."

Wu Yueru's anger falters for a moment, but does not dissipate. "… They're still unwashed dishes sitting in the sink. It's been sitting there for the past hour, Lilith."

Her last hour had been spent in the Arena with Cloudburst.

"I was unaware," she says simply. "The lunch dishes I've already washed earlier; they're still on the drying rack over there. These weren't here while I was doing the dishes… maybe Vance had a snack before he left just now? I apologize if this has irritated you, mother. Would it help if I washed these right now before heading upstairs again?"

There's no point in getting upset. Her mother hadn't known, and Xia Lan is well aware that the woman has been having some trouble with her editors at work lately. There's no need for her to add to her mother's stress. And in a vague corner of her mind, Xia Lan quietly acknowledges to herself that part of her mother's recent added stress might very well be a direct result from hearing her daughter's declaration to go into gaming, however temporarily. While the girl does not mean to antagonize her harried mother–

A second chance at life. Xia Lan would very much like to at least try pursuing something she enjoys, instead of focusing purely on what is "practical," and she rather wistfully wishes that Wu Yueru would at least try seeing things from her point of view sometime. Doesn't the woman's passion for wuxia fall in somewhere along the same lines?

Wu Yueru sighs, tipping her head back and pinching the bridge of her nose. "… Yes, it would help if you washed the dishes again. Thank you, Lanlan."

It's not quite an apology for losing her temper, but Xia Lan knows it's the closest thing she'll get from her mother.

Twist, turn on water faucet. Soap suds. Xia Lan is acutely aware of the way her mother is watching her wash the dishes, and wonders how long it will take before Wu Yueru finally decides to say something to her.

"How's school?"

… This sounds like a very familiar question, and a very familiar line of conversation. "It's alright."

Wu Yueru purses her lips. "Just 'alright?' You… haven't been having any troubles in class or anything, lately?"

The way the woman is saying almost makes it seem as if she's hoping for her daughter to be struggling. Which probably isn't the case, and Xia Lan would be much better off giving her mother the benefit of the doubt, when it comes to something like this.

"No."

The girl sets aside a dish on the drying rack and reaches for the glass instead, discretely picking up her speed on performing household chores.

"It's… you don't need to feel like you have to prove anything to me, Lanlan." Wu Yueru shakes her head, oblivious to her child's minute movements. "I know there's a lot packed into the last two years of the high school curriculum; if you're struggling with anything, that's perfectly normal, and there's no shame in taking a step back, alright? I know you said you want to go for gaming, but school is important; I'd much rather you calm down and take things slowly so you'll do well in your studies than rush through everything just so you can go out to play games–"

"That's not the case, mother." Xia Lan interrupts, shaking her head. "I'm performing very well in all of my classes, and everything is on track. My teachers have estimated another two more months before I'm ready to graduate."

Silence fills the kitchen. There is nothing but the sound of running water, and Xia Lan quietly sets aside the last dish onto the rack.

"… Why?"

Xia Lan blinks. "'Why' what, mother?"

The woman looks at her with a distressed, mournful expression that is part confusion, part incomprehension, but more disappointment than anything else, and it makes something bitter rise in the back of the girl's throat. "You're a clever girl, Lanlan. Why… why in the world are you doing something like this? If only you could apply your drive to something useful, imagine the accomplishments you'd make!"

"I… I appreciate that you're trying to point out what's best for me, mother," Xia Lan says politely. "But I've already made up my mind, and I'd really like to try and give this a go. I know that you've made it clear you don't approve of this, but it really is something I enjoy, and I would like to at least try. What's the harm in that?"

"'Harm?' … Lanlan, just look at you! Not even out of high school, and you're doing nothing but gaming all day! It's not healthy for you –not for your body, or your mind!" Wu Yueru wrings her hands, the volume of her voice rising with each word. Clearly, this has been building up for quite some time. "I'm not against you playing games as a pastime or to wind down from schoolwork, but you shouldn't make it your life. You know better, Lanlan."

"Yes, I do," she freely acknowledges her mother's point. But– "Computer programming, bio-engineering, data analytics… these are things that would be useful, right? But they're not exactly things that I enjoy, so I'd at least like to try seeing what professional gaming is like before I–"

"You've never even tried, Lanlan!"

Actually, I have. Xia Lan bites back the words just before they thoughtlessly roll off the tip of her tongue. Instead, what comes out is, "I thought you already agreed that I'd have two years to focus on gaming before turning to other pursuits, if I graduated early?"

"That was before–" This time, Wu Yueru is the one who cuts off her own words by herself. Xia Lan can guess what the woman was about to say. That was before I realized that you were actually going to succeed in doing this. "… How can you be truly serious about this? You're still so young; how can you know if gaming is what you want to do with your life?"

"I don't," Xia Lan admits candidly. "But how will I know for certain that it's not what I want if I don't at least give it a try?"

"Lilith!"

"Mother." It's almost laughable, in the end. Xia Lan had held her fair share of reservations against dipping her toes in gaming as a future profession, back when Ares had first approached her on the subject, but her mother's constant questioning and undermining of her efforts has now created an almost defensive reaction to stubbornly dig in her heels and stand her ground on the matter.

"… I'm done with the dishes. I will be up in my room, if you need me for anything." Xia Lan ducks her head, "Please excuse me."

"I'm trying to help you, Lilith!" Wu Yueru calls after her, and it's clear as day that the woman's words edged with frustration, but…

…

Thanks for trying, mother.

(I'm sorry for being selfish. I'm sorry.)

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Xia Lan doesn't talk to her teammates about the conversation-arguments that come up between her and her mother, conversations that occur with increasing frequency as the date of her early graduation draws ever closer. For one, it's not like there's anything they can do about it –most of them have their hands full with their own family issues already– and secondly… it wouldn't do to distract them with her personal problems. There was a competition to focus on, after all.

Vance had smartly stayed out of this whole mess in the beginning by taking a largely neutral stance on it all, but with her mother's growing distress now that the 'professional gaming gig' draws closer and closer as reality, rather than a careless flight of fancy… suffice to say, Vance is still very much firmly on his wife's side, when the cards are town. There was never any question about it. Thank goodness most of the paperwork has already been completed.

It's not like Xia Lan doesn't understand where her parents are coming from. They're only concerned for her and want the best for their young girl. Their clever young girl, who's proven herself perfectly capable of finishing the last two years of high school just like that, which clearly must mean that she is able to accomplish greater things, if only she'd turn away her attentions from trivial gaming in favor of buckling down and applying herself to practical matters–

Maybe it was a mistake to try and approach this from the perspective of squeezing out two extra gap years, to explore professional gaming. Not that there's a chance for a do-over or anything, at this point…

Xia Lan shakes her head.

[TheREALHera]: we won we won we wonnnnn

[TheREALHera]: [Cheers][JPG]

[TheREALHera]: great job today everyone! (* ω)

[Ares]: Yes, what she said. Good game, everyone. :)

[dante]: Excellent work, all. [To:][Vespertine] Nice save with the Magic Mirror during the team match!

It's… nice, scrolling through the team's group chat. A small smile surfaces briefly over the girl's face as she catches up on the conversation, the chat log continuing to scroll up as new messages roll in. It's not quite enough to chase away the dark cloud that is her mother's staunch disapproval of Xia Lan's decision to venture into gaming, but it… helps.

[Vespertine]: Thank you. It was a good match.

[TheREALHera]: (๑˃ᴗ˂)ﻭ

Right, the match earlier this afternoon had been a good one. A clear-cut victory. Although the opposing team had fought well, GhostFyre still prevailed in the end, despite a shaky moment in the middle when their opponents had broken through the continuous lockdown of their three Warlocks. Thankfully, Vespertine had managed to make a good recovery with a well-timed Magic Mirror to cover for splishSPLASH's lapse in their formation. Of the three Warlocks on the team, Vespertine was the one with the best situational awareness, dante had the best synchronicity during team matches, and splishSPLASH the quickest reaction time. This wasn't the first time an opponent had tried breaking the Warlocks' teamwork by deliberately baiting splishSPLASH into falling out of step with his teammates, which was all well and good as a sound tactic when it actually worked; there were also several cases where doing so backfired quite spectacularly on the opponents in question.

In short: Getting tripped up and thoroughly bogged down by a Warlock's spells is a nasty, headache-inducing experience. To quote Chitter's words after a round with Vespertine, "10/10 would not recommend."

… At any rate, she should probably still bring up this issue with splishSPLASH later. Or have Jared do it, seeing as he's the captain and all. For all she knows, they might already be well aware of the problem and working on it already, but it probably wouldn't hurt to drop in a word and double check with them, just in case.

But for now…

[Athena]: Congrats! You guys were great out there today. :)

… For now, it's fine to just celebrate. The team had been working hard as of late, and they deserved to enjoy their victory. At first Xia Lan had been worried, in the immediate days following their crushing defeat from Echo, even despite her conversation with Jared, but clearly her worries have proven to be needless. Something to be glad for, really. With the preliminaries drawing to a close, it would be good for the team to head into the later stages of the tournament on a high note.

[TheREALHera]: thx!

[TheREALHera]: 33

[Ares]: Thanks, Athena.

[nemesis384]: Yeah, what they said.

Xia Lan blinks. Of all members on the team, nemesis384 is the one that she's least familiar with –apparently, Ares had even gone out and recruited him from another guild– and it's not very surprising, considering the whole reason behind nemesis384's inclusion into GhostFyre in the first place was to fill in as a replacement Blade Master for Athena. Which had made their interactions with each other more than a little awkward at times, particularly so in the beginning. In the end, nemesis384 never really warmed up to her, unlike the other members of the team, which was… understandable.

To be fair, Xia Lan probably wouldn't be particularly pleased with being a "replacement," either, and she could only wonder how Jared had gotten him to agree to sign on for the season.

[nemesis384]: [To:][All] Wanna head across the street and grab some food later tonight?

[splishSPLASH]: down

[dante]: same dude

[nemesis384]: Wellll, except for Athena I guess lol.

… What?

Xia Lan frowns, but before she can follow up with anything on that particular comment, a new message pops up onto the chat screen.

[nemesis384]: But I'm sure Cynthia can eat your share, right? :) [To:][TheREALHera] foooood

The words are innocent, innocuous. A friendly jab. Nothing more, nothing less.

Except Xia Lan hadn't known that she was supposed to be comfortable with nemesis384's teasing like this. Were they supposed to be at the stage where good-natured ribbing was the norm? … But it never seemed like he had a great impression of her, and Xia Lan's utter lack of effective conversational skills probably didn't help things in that area, either.

Um.

… Social skills, goddamnit. This was the exact reason why she'd curled up in a quiet cubicle for data analytics in her past life.

[TheREALHera]: omg I hate you so much

[TheREALHera]: my diet qwwq

[nemesis384]: [Smoke][JPG]

[Aphrodite81]: sounds like a plan to me. is everyone down for 6pm? we can meet up in the lobby or something.

[Ares]: Sounds great, everyone!

Xia Lan watches the conversation derail from there, dinner plans and training schedules filling up the chat log one message at a time, and… and there's not much she can chime in with, really. They're all conversations about the team's activities, but while Xia Lan is certainly part of the team, it's in this sudden moment of startling clarity that she realizes that she's also really not. Because there's a certain camaraderie built through actually being together and working with each other in the real world that's markedly different from interacting with a persona from behind a computer screen, and Xia Lan is…

Xia Lan is still part of the team. She's been with them for years. But somehow, for a single moment as she watches the conversation move on without her, it still feels so much like being left behind.

Which is stupid and senseless because she knows, knows perfectly well that it's not the case, that she's just picking at straws and being petty and… and… and she really needs to go and pull herself together, because what is even there for her to be upset over, really?

She's going to graduate early. She's going to join her friends in GhostFyre. She's going to give this gaming thing a go, and see where it leads her.

There's nothing to be upset over.

Xia Lan roughly slides on her earphones and begins organizing another guild run on one of the larger dungeons in-game. Rare materials aren't going to magically multiply themselves, after all. Another day of farming it is. Wonderful.

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[Cloudburst]: So, uh

[Cloudburst]: I don't mean to pry, but you seem to be a little distracted today?

The girl sighs, a short exhale of air escaping her lips, and clicks her tongue when the Qi Master comes at her from a tricky angle. She deftly evades it with a swish-swish-flick of her mouse, but gets caught by an uppercut instead as she turns. Sloppy. She should've moved more cleanly.

[Cloudburst]: Is there something wrong?

[Athena]: … That obvious, am I?

The screen grays out, swords sliding against each other and locking in a monochrome world. Lose. Xia Lan isn't so much upset at losing to Cloudburst as she is frustrated with herself. She's off her game today and she knows it, and the fact that it's because of something so stupid only adds salt to the wound. So what if she feels like she's being left out by her teammates, especially after that conversation yesterday? They're literally living together in the accommodations provided by GhostFyre as per their contracts, so of course they'd grow closer and bond with each other. Perfectly reasonable, perfectly natural. Not to mention, they're still in the middle of competing, of course they have other things to be focusing on.

So it's downright stupid for her to be upset over something meaningless and minor like that. Intellectually, Xia Lan can see that she's just being difficult and unreasonable in overreacting like this… emotionally, however, it's hard to keep that irrational, pointless jealousy at bay, now that she's aware of it.

… Maybe it'll go away if she ignores it hard enough. It'll probably fade soon on its own, anyways. She can't afford to be off her game for long –her team still needs her to take care of the guild for them.

(Speaking of which, Xia Lan still needs to remember to pick more sub-leaders. This whole leading a guild business really isn't a job meant for a single person to chew on.)

[Cloudburst]: You okay?

[Athena]: I'm fine.

Yeah, she'll be fine. Xia Lan shakes her head. Cloudburst is a good guy, and a great teacher, no matter his protests to the contrary. His skills in GLORY are definitely pro-level, and she's picked up dozens of little tips and tricks from him, to the point where Xia Lan almost feels guilty –is it really enough that she's learning everything just in exchange for rare materials? Granted, rare materials could be sold for money nowadays in real-world currency…

[Athena]: It's really nothing, I'm just being stupid. I'll get over it.

[Cloudburst]: … If you're sure, then.

[Athena]: Yes.

[Athena]: :)

It's nice that he's concerned for her, but this is really her fault in the first place; she shouldn't be acting like this, getting unreasonably worked up over nothing. Shadows and shades.

Xia Lan sighs. She seems to be doing that a lot lately. What's next, finding white hairs in the mirror?

"That would be very unfortunate," the girl huffs to herself with a quiet laugh.

After bidding Cloudburst goodbye when he logs off after another round –the man has a part-time job tutoring kids in Mandarin Chinese– Xia Lan heads down to the Arena. Climbing the ranks all over again is tedious, and it's taken her awhile to be listed anywhere close to the top 100 again. Xia Lan is good, not perfect, but she learns from her mistakes; if nothing else, fighting so many different opponents has definitely given her a lot of experience.

Between managing the guild and leading wild boss hunts and organizing dungeon parties and still squeezing out enough time to spar with Cloudburst and PK in the Arena… she really needs to be better at delegating tasks, huh. Something to figure out soon–

Oh, what's this?

[SYSTEM]: [Chitter] vs. [Athena]. Players, please prepare. The battle will begin in 30 seconds.

Huh, imagine getting this match-up from random matching. Wow.

[Chitter]: ! ! !

[Chitter]: O A O

Xia Lan laughs, rapidly typing in her own response.

[Athena]: Hi, Chitter.

[Chitter]: TT A TT

[Chitter]: FML

[Athena]: [Pat][JPG]

[Athena]: Fancy meeting you here. ;3

When the countdown reaches zero, Xia Lan directs Athena forwards without hesitation. Although they've never had an actual match in the Arena, she's had plenty of experience fighting with Chitter in the mad scrambles for wild bosses, so she's fairly familiar with the Battle Mage's habits. She's sure that the same is true in her case for Chitter, too. But whether or not he knows enough to seize advantage of it is another matter entirely.

Chitter is good, make no mistake. He's good, but she happens to be better. It might sound like something high-handed and arrogant to say, but it's the truth. Chitter is a solid player, well-rounded movements and decent strategy, but his control over the details of his character's movements is still rather lacking, and it's what Xia Lan uses against him to take him down, in the end.

2:32.

GLORY.

[Chitter]: wtf

[Chitter]: y r u still here i thought you were done with the arena already?

Xia Lan tilts her head, mildly bemused.

[Athena]: ?

[Athena]: Who told you that?

[Chitter]: …

[Chitter]: …

[Chitter]: …

[Chitter]: orz

[Chitter]: well gg i guess

It's a good thing that Chitter is an easygoing person. If it was someone like Klesis here, Xia Lan would've been in for an earful.

[Athena]: Yes, good game. :)

Then, after an idle heartbeat:

[Athena]: So… find any wild bosses recently?

[Chitter]: NO

The response is swift, prompt, immediate. Near-instantaneous, really, and Xia Lan can't help but laugh at his reaction. Typical Chitter.

[Athena]: Just checking. ;)

[Chitter]: i hate you so much

… They really used to be much better friends back when Xia Lan wasn't the one in charge of the Pantheon. But it's not like Xia Lan can do anything about it; competition is competition, friendship is friendship. Most of the time.

[Athena]: Don't worry, I'll be out of your hair soon enough.

[Chitter]: eh? wait, what?

Xia Lan types out a simple response, smiling.

[Athena]: I'm joining Ares and the others next season, remember?

There is a short pause on the other end.

[Chitter]: right…

[Chitter]: huh

[Chitter]: damn you're going into the big leagues too

[Chitter]: [Thoughtful][JPG]

[Chitter]: have u checked in with them tho?

Xia Lan pauses. Have you checked in with them, though? That sounds a little… ominous, the wording?

[Athena]: What do you mean?

[Chitter]: [Fidget][JPG]

[Chitter]: look i don't MEAN mean anything but

[Chitter]: things, change, y'know? people change

[Chitter]: ur team is finally doing pretty good now dunno if they'd want to risk introducing another person and find a new balance again.

Xia Lan thinks about the way the team had been off to a shaky start at the beginning of the tournament, the way they'd had to adjust not only to their own loss, but also to the introduction of a new member –nemesis384. It helped that nemesis384 was also a Blade Master just like Athena, but they were still different players, with different styles and habits.

Even so…

[Athena]: You make a good point, but we've already agreed on this even before the season started.

[Athena]: Besides, I'm still in touch with all of them, too, and no one's said anything like that.

Chitter's reply comes promptly.

[Chitter]: course they won't what do you think ppl are, stupid?

[Chitter]: it's called having some TACT

Xia Lan resists the urge to roll her eyes. Okay, so maybe the team would feel several different shades of awkward if they'd have to bring up to her face that they wouldn't be able to include her into the team after they'd already promised, after she'd spent an entire year running the guild and getting materials and helping Hephaestus with the weapon upgrades. But she wasn't blind; nemesis384 was one thing, but she was pretty certain that she'd be able to spot Cynthia being awkward if Cynthia had something important like that to hide from her.

Besides, if nothing else, she still trusted Jared as a captain, and as a friend, to keep her informed, even if it were to be of bad news.

[Chitter]: not the point

[Chitter]: 'sides, even if ur team is okay with it, there's still management to consider, since u guys r under GF and all

[Chitter]: so if management doesn't want to switch players there's not much u guys can do, right?

[Chitter]: … just saying.

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…

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Author's Notes:

Fifth chapter complete! It's been… three months since the last update? Whoops. Slightly shorter than the usual this time, but I've been sitting on this for awhile. Sorry, I can't guarantee anything about the update schedule, but I'll do my best. :)

On another note, if I remember correctly, the second season of The King's Avatar is slated to come out sometime in 2019, so that's definitely something to keep an eye peeled out for! Fingers crossed for the animation quality being improved as compared to the first season, I guess, if it's still on track to being released…

Also, I can't believe we still haven't gotten to Xia Lan officially joining Team GhostFyre yet. (EDIT: Or maybe I'm TROLLING? xD) Clearly, I ramble too much, and the plot isn't really going anywhere fast without a good, hefty kick… fingers crossed for getting around to it sometime soon, though. (Cries.)

Belated Happy New Year! Anyone feel like sharing their New Year's resolutions? I should probably make one to update more lol. Or, y'know… not. ;3

Till next time,

XxZuiliu