Summary: In a world where Sarutobi did not become Hokage after Minato died sealing the Kyuubi into Naruto, the Academy has been renamed and the program has been rebuilt. The requirements for graduation has also changed. Since then, Konoha ninja have been following the Shinobi Code to the "t." Follow our spirited blonde and friends as they live in a world where being able set aside emotions and assassinate targets are the most important things for a ninja. Will our hero's Talk no Jutsu even work now?

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of the characters. There is some language that may not be appropriate for younger readers, and the writer's sarcasm or sad attempts at jokes may be highly disappointing.

"Welcome to the Shinobi Academy for Murder and Assassination. That's right, SAMA. And here, we are your gods. You will follow our rules, or you will be eliminated."

"Elemonated?"

Iruka narrowed his eyes at the boy with blonde spiky hair and whisker marks on his cheeks. He quickly threw a kunai in the boy's direction for the interruption. "Were you given permission to speak, Uzumaki?"

The boy paled and froze as a kunai slashed open his right cheek and sailed into the back walls of the classroom. He gulped and shook his head no.

"Eliminated." Iruka paused for dramatic effect, "As in killed on the spot." While maintaining eye contact, Naruto slowly reached up to feel the wetness on his right cheek and wiped it with his fingers. He stared at the blood on his finger tips and realized his sensei was very, very serious. He would do his best to never speak out again.

Iruka continued, "You will learn this nation's history as approved by the current Hokage. You will learn arithmetic, reading, writing, and science. You will learn and perfect the Academy ninjutsu and taijutsu. You will learn and perfect weapon handling. You will learn and perfect the act of stealth, interrogation, capture, and assassination. You will know the rules of shinobi by heart and will above else follow orders, or you will be…" Iruka looked Naruto straight in the eye, "Eliminated."

The classroom collectively gulped and some were sweating or shivering from the small amount of killing intent Iruka was giving off.

"Now then!" Iruka clapped his hands and his serious face turned into a bright smile, "Let's begin!"

"It's healed. How?" young Sasuke Uchiha was now in front of one Naruto Uzumaki.

"Uhhh.. what?"

"Your cheek. It's healed."

Naruto rubbed where his face had been cut, "Oh, really?"

Sasuke nodded in affirmation. "How?"

"I don't know, dattebayo!"

'I need that power to defeat my brother. He's lying. I must know how he does it.' Sasuke thought to himself. "Hmm. Loser, you'll regret going against an Uchiha."

And from that day on, Sasuke no longer talked to Naruto, and Naruto had a rival.

"Sasuke-kun! Sasuke-kun!" Ino and Sakura shouted together. They glared at each other.

"What do you want?"

"Will you go on a date with me?" They asked in unison. Then they glared at each other again, but then smiled back at Sasuke in unison.

"No." Sasuke turned to walk away as the storm clouds gathered over the girls' heads and began to pour at a slight angle onto their hair.

"Hey, Sakura-chan, I'll go on a date with you!" Naruto said excitedly.

"Shut up, Naruto-baka. I didn't ask you! I only want Sasuke-kun!"

Meanwhile Iruka and Mizuki watched from the window.

"I don't get the point in letting them enjoy their childhood like this," Mizuki said.

"I believe it's more for the civilian recruits. Otherwise there would be questions from the civilian parents. A childhood gives parents something to remember them by." Iruka answered flatly.

"Uzumaki! Remedial!"

This was a common order from Iruka for Naruto. Naruto was often sent to remedial for failing his lessons or ninjutsu or because Iruka fucking felt like it. When Naruto returned from his extra lessons, he was often sporting some kind of "training accident" injury.

"Uzumaki! Remedial! If you fail to produce a bushin one more time, you will be eliminated from the program."

"Eliminated, as in-"

"Did I order you to talk? Have Mizuki give you a lesson in following orders as well."

The class resonated with a soft snickering towards the boy as he bowed his head and exited the classroom. As he closed the door he heard Iruka scolding the class for the outburst.

"Ah, back again Uzumaki?" Mizuki half snickered, "Another failed bushin?"

"Yes sensei-" Naruto's face was hit with a hard SMACK.

"One more fail and that's it. Isn't that right?"

Naruto mumbled, "Yeah, dattebayo."

Mizuki smiled a little creepier than usual and leaned in close to Naruto's ear, "That's why you were sent to me, Uzumaki. I'm your only hope now. I'm feeling particularly generous today, so I'll give you a different task, and if you pass, I'll tell Iruka you passed the bushin."

"Really?" Naruto's eyes sparkled in thanks.

"Really," Mizuki sadistically smiled. "I'll let you in on a little village secret."

And so Mizuki laid out the plan to steal the Forbidden Scroll of Sealing.

Naruto snuck into the Hokage tower, just as planned, but what he didn't expect was the Hokage himself to be wandering the halls.

"Who's there? Oh it's just the blonde brat. What are you doing here?"

Naruto shrunk back, he didn't like Danzo-sama. He had always been unreasonably cruel to Naruto, given him a shitty-ass apartment and very little money to support his needs. He never checked on him and he didn't care about his well-being, unlike the Uchiha, who he showered with everything.

There was also that period of time where he "belonged" to Danzo-sama and some guys in masks did their very best to piss him off- Naruto shook away the thought. He didn't like to think about "those times."

"Oiroke no Jutsu!" Suddenly Naruto transformed into a sexy blonde with long pig-tails. Her curves were in ALL the right places, with little puffs of smoke just barely covering her sweet spots.

Danzo-sama, being an even bigger pervert than his predecessors, being extremely more desperate than his predecessors, due to his unsightly arm full of stolen fucking eyeballs that was white and wrinkly as fuck, not to mention all his weird wrappings and the fact that he can't walk straight, he has no luck with anything that has legs. Anything. Needless to say, he's not getting any action anytime soon.

Back to the point, Danzo-sama passed out from blood loss from his nose.

Who knows what the ANBU or ROOT members were doing, but Naruto then easily escaped and headed straight from the meetup spot with Mizuki.

And even though the Hokage tower was obviously alerted that the Forbidden Scroll had gone missing, Mizuki found it necessary to tap on poor Iruka's window, waking him up and informing him that Naruto had stolen the Scroll.

Iruka, who was smarter than Mizuki, realized that if the scroll had been taken, the ANBU would have been alerted and not Mizuki, and Naruto was nowhere near smart enough to have thought to steal the thing in the first place.

So, Iruka silently followed Mizuki as he went to meet up with the unsuspecting Naruto.

"Mizuki-sensei! I did it! I learned a bad-ass jutsu! Now I can substitute it for the bushin and pass right?"

Mizuki started to laugh as Iruka's hunch proved to be correct. "Very good, Naruto. Now hand over the scroll and I'll let Iruka know you passed."

"I've already heard," Iruka said as he appeared next to Naruto, "Naruto, whatever you do, protect that Scroll with your life. Mizuki is deceiving you, do not give him the Scroll."

"Deceiving? Ha! That's a good one coming from you Iruka-sensei, seeing as how you and the entire village have been deceiving the demon brat his entire life!"

"Mizuki, not another word! You know that's forbidden!"

"What… What is he talking about?" Naruto nervously budded in.

"See, Iruka, he wants to know. He wants to know why he's been hated his whole life, why he's so different, why he's been treated like shit since he's been born."

"Mizuki! STOP!"

"You are the Kyuubi. The nine-tailed demon fox! 12 years ago, you destroyed the village and with it, Iruka's parents. He hates you, just like everyone else!" Mizuki laughed as he positioned his overly large shuriken.

"I… what…no..I.. I can't be. Is that why? Is that why they hate me? Because of the stupid fox!" Naruto began to cry.

Iruka tried to look at Naruto with sympathy, but found that he simply couldn't. As Mizuki dashed to strike, Iruka's body moved on its own, and shielded Naruto from the large weapon.

Drops of Iruka's blood mixed in with Naruto's tears as he positioned himself as a shield overtop the trembling body beneath him.

"Naruto, run. Now!"

Naruto hesitated for a moment and then took off into the woods faster than he'd ever run before. Still, he felt like he couldn't catch his breath and stopped, hidden behind a tree. There he overheard the fight between Mizuki and Iruka, who had been one-upping each other with transformations.

"Why are you protecting him, Iruka? He's just the Kyuubi! Now let me get that scroll and I'll kill the brat for you as compensation."

"He is not the Kyuubi," Iruka said in a monotone voice, "He is Naruto Uzumaki, and is a civilian training to be a shinobi. I am not allowed to let you kill one of my students."

Naruto's eyes brimmed with renewed tears as he took the statement Iruka had said to the heart. He mistakenly took Iruka's "orders" as a SAMA instructor as an acknowledgement of him as a person and shinobi, something no one had ever done for him.

While it is true that Iruka did not see him as the Kyuubi, this was a well-known fact among the ranks who had been debriefed about Naruto's unique situation. Naruto was a container for the strongest bijuu, and as such, was destined to be a weapon for this village, and although he did not need to be treated fairly or kindly, he was to be protected. But it definitely helps out our favorite character Naruto to let him think that Iruka has finally acknowledged him.

With Iruka's and Mizuki's battle coming to a head, Iruka was wounded and at the disadvantage. Naruto couldn't take it anymore and came out of hiding, scroll in hand. "If you hurt Iruka-sensei one more time, I'll kill you."

With that, Mizuki smiled as he forcefully pulled out a kunai that he had stuck in Iruka's thigh. "You'll kill me? Don't make me laugh. Let's see just what the demon boy can do."

"You asked for it! MULTI-SHADOW CLONE JUTSU!" With a huge surge of chakra that alerted the ANBU of his position, Naruto created 200 shadow clones that surrounded Mizuki from all angles.

"Alone, I probably can't do anything," one clone said, "But all of us?" another chimed in, "WILL KILL YOU!" They shouted in unison.

All the Naruto's proceeded to kick Mizuki's ass until he was unconscious and his face was unrecognizable. After all the Naruto's were dispelled, the ANBU came out of hiding. One picked up the traitor, another the Scroll, and two more shushined Naruto and Iruka to Danzo-sama's Hokage office.

Iruka gave his report: (we just read it, so skip that).

"I'm impressed, Uzumaki. You might be worth something after all. Iruka, be sure to keep an eye on him. And if he can produce that many shadow clones, I'm guessing he has too much chakra for the bushin. Pass him along with the others. I want to see what he can do in the graduation test."

Iruka nodded.

"And Naruto? I'll look past what you pulled tonight in favor of you defeating a traitor. You will tell no one what transpired here tonight, understood?" the killing intent that Danzo-sama gave off almost knocked Naruto on his ass.

"See to it that he gets home, Iruka."

Iruka nodded, "Yes, Hokage-sama."

As they walked (Iruka limped) down the streets towards Naruto's apartment, Ichiraku Ramen was still open for the night.

"Hey, hey, Iruka-sensei, will you buy me some ramen for kicking ass tonight?"

Iruka thought about Danzo-sama's orders. 'See to it that he gets home.' There was no order forbidding ramen between the Hokage tower and Naruto's home. Nor was there a time limit given. Vague orders.

Iruka shrugged, "Sure, why not?"

"AHHHH THANK YOU, SENSEI!" Naruto shouted with glee as he ran into the shop.

As they were eating, Naruto kept looking at Iruka's leaf headband. "What?" Iruka asked when he got annoyed.

"Uhhh.. Sensei.. I was wondering, could I, could I have your headband?"

"What, this? Not a chance. This is only for those who graduate SAMA. You'll get one soon enough, assuming that you survive the graduation test."

Naruto slurped down the rest of his ramen and slammed the bowl down, "What was that last part sensei? I didn't quite catch that, hehe."

"I said good luck on the graduation test, Naruto."

"Thanks, Iruka-sensei! I promise Naruto Uzumaki will graduate SAMA and be one step closer to being your future Hokage, dattebayo!"

Preview to the next Chapter:

When he woke up, he was covered in blood. He looked to his left to see Sasuke also covered in blood, but without a scratch on him. He turned to the right and saw Sakura staring at the ground. Slowly, he let his gaze wonder away from Sakura to the rest of the room.

Thanks for reading! Just like Danzo-sama has control over the whole village, he also has some weird control over me too and I can't give him any honorific lower than sama. The fucking prick.