Hey! I'm Roxy Goth, this is my first time writing for Emperor's new groove. Takes place before the last scene of the movie – before the pool scene at the end.

Basically, I found Kuzco's line 'It's my birthday gift to me!' interesting.

Depending on whether I've got Kuzco's age wrong, this might be considered slight AU.

I do not own Emperor's new groove or school in any way shape or form.

"You know it's Kuzco's birthday soon?" Pacha asked his wife.

Chicha looked at it and raised an eyebrow. "Believe it or not I did."

Pacha draw a shape on the table with his finger. "Should we get him something?"

"Oh, yeah sure. A solid gold locket or some extravagant spices?"

Pacha's lips twitched. "I was thinking more a personalised Alpaca poncho."

Chicha considered it, before asking. "Are you sure that's what he wants?"

Pacha was about to say definitely, when he paused. "You know what, I think I'll go up to the palace and ask him. Back in a bit honey."

"It can't be anything to extravagant!" His wife called after him.

"I know our price range!"

Twenty minutes later he'd successfully track Kuzco down. The young emperor was currently party-planning with his advisor. "Pacha!" He said, waving a hand in greeting when the chief peasant walked through the door. "How's it hanging?"

"Fairly good." Pacha said, trying to sound as nonchalant as he could. "Hey, could I have a word with you please?"

Kuzco leaned back in his chair and adopted his 'listening pose'. "Sure, go ahead."

Pacha gave a pointed look to the advisor. "In private, maybe?"

"Eh, sure." The emperor waved a hand dismissively and the advisor took his cue. "Take a seat."

Pacha did so, wondering why exactly this topic seemed so hard to approach. He decided to just go for it. "What do you want for your birthday?" He said, before wincing. That came out a bit blunter than he thought it would.

Sure enough Kuzco looked startled for all of two seconds before his features melted back into that cool impassive look again. "What do you mean?"

Pacha couldn't help sighing. For an emperor Kuzco could be dense sometimes. "What gift would you like us to purchase for your birthday?" He said, trying to put it in emperor-speak, before adding. "That's in our price range."

Kuzco leaned forward, still looking confused. "It's all right, Pacha. I decided this year not to make the whole kingdom give me a gift this year. Or any year for the foreseeable future. Part of the whole trying-to-be-nice thing."

If Kuzco had announced that three months ago – or even six weeks ago – Pacha would have been thrilled. However now he found himself saying. "But it's your 18th! Your officially emperor now, out of all the years for big celebrations, this is it!"

"Oh, don't get me wrong, there's going to be a big celebration. Yeah, I'm gonna have balloons, cake, music, I was even going to have Kronk do the food."

"Are you sure?"

"Er, as long as Yzma's not allowed in the kitchen I'm happy. And you and your family can come, you know. If you want." Kuzco got up and wandered over to the window.

Pacha smiled. He'd noticed on the rare occasions Kuzco tried to do something nice for him he'd look away or distract himself with something. Still smiling he got up and cleared his throat. "That would be good. The kids would love that. Speaking of the kids they've been wondering what to get you." There, he'd try a different tactic.

Kuzco scrunched his nose up. "They don't have to get me anything. Seriously, it's fine."

"You sure?" Pacha said, not bothering to hide his disbelief.

"Yeah!" The young adult turned away from the window and spun towards the plans that still lay on the table. "I mean, I've got the main gift anyway. A summerhouse, from me to me!" Kuzco picked up the little model of the summerhouse and hugged it.

The older man smiled. It was nice to see Kuzco showing genuine enthusiasm for something. But the smile faded as a new line of thought opened. "Hey, why the getting a gift for myself thing anyway? I mean, you know that's not normal right?" Not that anything Kuzco did was normal anyway.

Kuzco's brow creased. "I'm sorry, am I not allowed to get a gift for myself?" The surly tone had crept back in.

Pacha backtracked. "No, of course you are, I'd just like to know why you think it's necessary. Didn't Yzma ever get you anything? You know, seeing as she was meant to be your guardian and everything?"

He instantly realised he's hit a nerve as Kuzco's hand clenched tighter around the model. "No. She just said the same thing every year, 'Get what you want, Kuzco.'" Kuzco's said, in a pretty decent impression of Yzma. "After all, you are emperor. You're entitled to it. And at first it was just toys and junk you know? When I was younger. When I was thirteen I had a pool built into the palace basement. Heated floors and everything." He trailed of, clearly reminiscing, before sighing carefully putting the model down. "I think I used it twice, maybe three times."

"Twice!?" Pacha had managed to contain himself at the mention of toys, but a swimming pool? "What happened to it?"

"Oh, it's still there. Still there. It'd require a big cleanout if we ever wanted to use it…"

Pacha smiled. "We?"

Kuzco froze, as if expecting lightning to strike him before saying, a tad defensively. "Well, if you want to of course-"

"-Hey, sounds good. So just to clarify, no presents?"

"No presents. Except if you're gonna make me a homemade poncho" Kuzco joked. "But it's have to be green, of course."

Pacha tried one last time. "What do I tell the kids then?"

Kuzco paused, fingering the top of the model. "Tell them the best gift they can give me is to turn up and try to eat as much as they can. This buffet isn't cheap you know. Is that it?"

Pacha blinked. "Sorry?"

"I said; is that it? It's just I have an awesome 18th to plan and an advisor waiting outside-"

"-Oh! No problem! Right well, see you soon." As soon as Pacha was out the room he took a deep breath, before straitening up and heading home. He and Chicha had a poncho to make.