Chapter I

Realisation

To realise herself suddenly violently in love unsettled Jane Bennet's sensitive and otherwise sensible spirit. Her heart had known only previously familial love; now her feelings for Mr Bingley, so shortly known, threatened to overcome her.

How long had she known him? But two months! All she knew of him, she liked – in her affection he grew increasingly with each interaction. But how much more did she not know, asked her mind.

Despite the cautions of her mind, her heart continued to love.

She would pace herself she had decided – give herself and reason time to catch up with her hasty heart. Yet, not long after such had been decided, did she learn of Charlotte Lucas' remark to Lizzy concerning herself and Mr Bingley. Their neighbour had declared Jane ought to be more open with the gentleman, lest she loss his interest. Lizzy had dismissed Charlotte's advice, but her words struck and stayed with Jane.

Her sincere heart felt quiet panic – the possibility of losing her love before it had chance to be requited. An acute pang she suffered.

She had felt she needed time to understand her love, but did she? He was a good man, this she knew, kind and gentlemanly – all admirable qualities, but her feelings went beyond admiration. She should trust her intuition, she felt – her heart deserved her trust.

He was going away, only for a few days he said, but she had overheard from his sisters of their too soon being back in town, of which they spoke together in a tone of relief that sat uneasy with Jane. Were they discontent with Netherfield after so short a stay? If they returned to town for good, might their brother also? Her mother had worried he would never be settled; Jane remembered too, when she had been ill at Netherfield, Lizzy recounting Mr Darcy's remark that Mr Bingley might be easily persuaded by a friend to come or go at once.

Wicked she felt, when she thought: might she persuade him to stay? Or, if he must go, to swiftly return?