Day 9 - You dream about your soulmate every night, but when you wake up you can never remember their face.

The (d o t) and (a t) are due to ffn having something against formatting.

Word Count: 816

"It's so stupid that we won't remember this when we're awake." Bram can feel Simon sighing next to him as he says that. "Because stupid awake-me is convincing himself more and more that your emails are actually from Cal Price at that you are very straight."

Bram snorts. "I am about as straight as a unicorn running on a rainbow."

"That's pretty gay," Simon acknowledges, still staring at the ceiling of this room of their dreams, "but I can top that."

"Oh, you can?" Bram challenges, propping himself up on one arm. "Would be the first time you ever topped anything."

Simon nods in response. "Yes. I am about as straight as John Laurens."

"You're right, that's so much gayer."

"Wait a moment." Simon starts shifting around in the bed to face him and narrows his eyes. "What did you say?"

Bram chuckles. "You know exactly what I said. And I stand by it." He pauses. "Well, okay, I lay by it."

"You don't even know that!" Simon exclaims, apparently outraged by the mere suggestion. "It's not like we've tried." He's blushing so adorably.

"And we're not going to, until our awake-selves get the hint," Bram reminds him. "Otherwise it's just all kinds of awkward."

"You're not wrong," Simon agrees. "Again, if only awake-me would stop focusing on Cal Price and accept your gayness."

"Or if only awake-me would stop being such a coward," Bram growls at himself.

"You're no a coward," Simon protests immediately. "If anything I am."

"Oh but I am. Awake me is hoping that Jacques is you and is terrified that you'll hate me. That's the major part of why I haven't said anything."

"That's probably subconscious," Simon theorizes, his psychologist mother really shining through. "I mean you know that I am being blackmailed. If this subconscious pushing thing works at all,

"Awake-us are assholes," Simon realizes after a heartbeat.

"They most certainly are," Bram agrees. "But eventually they will figure it out and we will get to remember these dreams."

"And use them efficiently," Simon adds with a smirk.

Bram throws a pillow at him. Then he smirks, too. "Possibly."

They simply lie there next to each other — occasionally cuddling — until they wake up and have to face the real world again.

FROM: hourtohour (d o t) notetonote (a t) gmail (d o t) com

TO: bluegreen118 (a t) gmail (d o t) com

DATE: Dec 22 at 2:33 PM

SUBJECT: Jacques vs. the soulmate dreams

.

Blue,

that's fine, I'm gonna wait till you're ready, don't worry. I'm not actually a big stalker or hacker or anything. I'm not gonna try and use things such as the Little Fetus to find out who you are if you really don't want me to.

But the reason why I want to meet you, is that I am increasingly getting the impression that we are actually soulmates.

I am not going to lie, this is another thing I deleted and retyped a dozen times. At the very least.

I realize that this sounds incredibly needy and attention grabbing, but it's true. I just keep waking up with these impressions, and they're pretty much the same exact impressions I am getting from you.

Years ago, my older sister asked my Mum what would happen if you met — as in physically met — your soulmate but didn't have any conversations with him. It was right after we got back from a vacation, so I assume it's relevant and trustworthy.

My Mum said that the general agreement is that you would get these impressions I'm getting. And I've been getting them for pretty much all of high school, but it's only after we started writing that I began to connect them to anyone, and that's you.

And the longer we have been talking, the clearer these impressions have been getting, which I am interpreting as us getting closer.

I'm really hoping that you will end up telling me that the same has been happening to you, because otherwise this whole thing is going to end up really awkward. If you don't, please have pity with me and let me down gently.

Love,

Jacques

PS: This is the first time in months that I almost sent this with my actual name at the end. Interpret that part however you want to.

.

FROM: bluegreen118 (a t) gmail (d o t) com

TO: hourtohour (d o t) notetonote (a t) gmail (d o t) com

DATE: Dec 22 at 2:45 PM

SUBJECT: Re: Jacques vs. the soulmate dreams

.

Jacques,

actually, the same thing has been happening to me. As I do not have any psychologist connections, I was totally unaware of what it meant, though.

I did google it as well, I confess. Because I needed to be absolutely sure before I type this:
I think I am almost ready for phone numbers.

And I will give you a hint this time, as well: white is not the default.

Love,

Blue

PS: For the first time, I almost did as well.