It's another day in a McNally-deprived existence.

It still hits him, this notion, less often than it use to, but it still does.

When the morning finds him in an empty bed. When he returns for the night to an empty house. When he sits in the back in parade and there's a vacant seat up front. When the rookies' table at the Penny consist of only Nash and Epstein. Sometimes he just has to look across their desks to Nash.

But then, there's Jerry.

They don't talk about either of them on a regular basis.

Nash would say something, note something and he would just give her a look. He knows that her kid does not make it easy - smart enough not to ask about Jerry, but McNally is another story.

She would just say - " It's been 12 weeks." Or anything of that liking and he would nod. That is usually it.

It happens even less now that Nash knows about Marlo.

They don't have pep talks either. That's Ollie's job.

It's also what got him to take the detective exam in the first place. That, and Frank's promise of eternity in booking. (Apparently arriving hung over to work 3 days in a row was too many, even if you went through the academy with your staff sergeant)

(He found Ollie knocking on his door in the late evening. He was already through his 3rd drink, as in scotch.

"You shouldn't be drinking alone," Ollie knew the password, apparently, and brought a six-pack.

The next week, Frank had one less problem to worry about. )

Keeps trying his best to make his current relationship work. When she's not here, when he's not distracted. She made her choice. She made her choice and he has to live with it. He has to move on. Try his best to be happy, without her. He has to be invested enough by the time she returns so it wouldn't hurt as much. Seeing her back in the streets. Back in Fifteen.

(When it was serious and he didn't want it to be - he didn't show so much affection. He didn't cuddle.

They would talk about stuff, but only because McNally would bring it up. And he would always deflect the hard stuff. He's endless supply of bad jokes.

Now that it isn't serious and he wants to convince himself that it is, that he is invested, he is all over it. It's not complicated. What you see is what you get. Somebody to come home to at the end of the day, for comfort, for fun. Never the hard stuff. Marlo doesn't want it, He doesn't want it. The hard stuff would have them running for the hills.)

Jogs his way to Fifteen.

Marlo didn't spend the night and he was up late.

Even though it's summer and it's hot - he needs the run.

That's how he keeps his head in the game.

That's how he heals. He already reached the shape where the run is enjoyable at this pace and distance. Yet he went home last night to an empty house and woke up in an empty bed...he picks up the pace.

Maybe a few more nights with Marlo and he'll be invested enough. He'll be ready to say he had moved on and mean it. Marlo's funny. She's not a rebound. He doesn't do rebounds - he goes under. But he can't go under, so -

he runs.

(It's been six months - he's very close to admitting defeat, that running isn't enough - he needs to return to his old friend, the heavy bag, at Fifteen's gym. Hasn't put on the gloves since Jerry, did wreck a dry wall at the house, though. With his bare hands.)

Oliver is idling along, and It's the usual chorus* -

Does he want a ride to the station?

What's with the jogging?

Does he want a coffee?

(for a TO who makes his rookies buy lunch, Oliver spent no small amount of money as a result of asking this question as much as he has).

It's not a daily occurrence, but Ollie does that more often than not these days.

The answers are always along the same lines -

'New me' or quoting back the 'Adapt or die' Ollie spewed the morning of the Fiasco,

'Green tea'.

Shaw always gets the desired effect, though - he spends the last mile thinking. And not about his breathing.

McNally isn't here. She doesn't want him to be a part of her life anymore

The call of the heavy bag takes the voice of Shaw's questions.

It's another day at the D's office, another day out of uniform, another day- enough.

It's another day out of uniform.

There he is Miss America with his ice cold green tea.

He sits alone in the back during parade, uniforms are doing speed traps (oh, he's so glad he's a D now) and the 20 bucks lost to Marlo do not affect his mood (he'll gain them back, one way or another).

The caterer pain in the ass Oliver and Epstein bring in has a few choice of words about quality automobiles and time wasting for the pair, and a trouble-spelling 'yeah. I want to talk to your manager', for Nash.

It's another day at the D's office.

Being the superior ranking detective that he is - he's the one to deal with the mess and the one to face Jacob Blackstone, typical drug squad D through and through - all 'dude' and scruffy beard, leather wristbands (your'e not a drug squad D without the accessories) and condescending attitude.

He find Blackstone's 'it's not a request' infuriating - Blackstone wants them to release the caterer.

He can't decide who bugs him the most: the heat, the caterer, or the drug squad doofus .

Dude.

"We've got meth coming over the border and reach so fast, we can barely keep up," it's story telling time with detective Blackstone.

"And where is it coming in from?"

"Mexico originally, but this stuff had been hitting town by the way of Fort Erie. Six months ago we placed two undercovers at the border-"

(He heard 'Fort Erie' and he had to stop himself from rolling his eyes. The heavy bag at the gym seems more inviting than ever, all thanks to-)

"McNally and Collins?" he hadn't uttered those names in a while, they almost feel foreign to his lips.

This isn't news to him. He made a few calls, the first few days after (it's the Ds in the drug squad he has a problem with. The rest are quite alright), and even though he didn't know the details - he knew where she was placed less than 72 hours into her disappearing act.

So Blackstone's eyebrow quirk when he looks at him next – unsettles him a bit.

It's not the look he was expecting. Maybe 'so you know ' or 'you guys keep tabs', 'you are not supposed to have this information,' 'it's not relevant at the moment ' look he was expecting to get.

It's something... else.

He can't quite place it and his gut tells him it's no good, yet –

"Keep going."

Idiot.

Drug squad D idiot.

Instigating a turf war with two UCs in the mix? Is the guy out of his mind, or is this just the kind of people who the TPS puts in charge of their deep cover operations?

Is this just his luck, that the people he cares about always fall in with the wrong crowd?

It apparently comes with the territory - you get the charge of UC officers- you lose all care for their well being whatsoever, once the prize is in reach.

Things needed to be moved along. Yeah, that doesn't cut it.

(especially not when it's McNally's life, so-)

(there's a serious lack of plural in a crucial part of the next exchange, yet both he and Nash don't seem to notice.)

"What about my officer?"

"Your officer's just fine. Why don't you do me a favor and stop busting my balls and let my guys do their job? That'll be great, thanks!"

Once Frank tells them to step aside, he shoots* Nash a "we'll talk at the office" and speeds after Blackstone.

"What aren't you telling me?" He stalls Blackstone in the corridor.

"Collins - yes, McNally - no."

"Uh..what do you mean 'no'?" he's not sure he heard correctly.

"I know the name, but she's not one of my guys."

"Know the name?" he repeats to no one in particular, having stopped in his tracks while Blackstone continued down the hallway and out of the station.

(He knows Blackstone wasn't on board all along. So maybe the previous took her with him for a different angle elsewhere. It does happen sometimes, when ops evolve while in motion.)

But that's not the vibe he was getting. And the previous guy was Callaghan, was it not?

There's a twist in his stomach, a tug at his gut. He can hear it and it awfully sounds a lot like a warning beep.

Suddenly - it's not just another day anymore.