Chapter Nine:

The adventurer's life seems to be one of ease and magic! However, it would be wise of our readers to read the following:

After twelve days of sailing, The Heart of Gold reaches the ports of Riften. As Khangung drops off the iron ore, Theradyis and M'aiq take a bit of shore leave to check out the city. Since neither of them has ever been to Riften before.

As they left the docks, the pair finds in front of them a stiff, but still depressed Flavius Titanius pointing a staff at them. Before either of them could say anything, Flavius fires the Wabbajack at Theradyis and M'aiq. With a bright flash of red light, it appears that the pair have blasted out of existence. It was at this point that Flavius Titanius also disappeared to the Shivering Isles thanks to Sheogorath.

Unfortunately, Khangung was none the wiser. Nor was anyone else at the Riften Docks. The Nightingales took note of the situation and departed to inform their lady and lord about the situation.

It is here that we have reached the end of our story. With that in mind, the writers of that awe-inspiring book The Hitchhiker's Guide to Tamriel wish to give our readers some food for thought. Never go on adventures expecting there will always be happy endings. In fact, a lot of the time many adventures end in disaster. Not to mention the death of an adventurer being the reason why an adventure ends.

However, this sentiment should not discourage anyone from trying out an adventuring lifestyle to see if it suits their taste. If anything, it should fire up any amateur to prove the writers wrong in this regard. So get out there, and hope to it. You can only be successful. Or you can wind up dead. Either way, the Guide is there for those who need boatloads of information that may or may not be useful in a particular situation.

Especially since it contains mostly apocryphal or at least widely inaccurate information. It's also an advantage that it's easier to read without all of that Imperial haughtiness. Not to mention the calming effect created by those large friendly letters that say 'DON'T PANIC!'

Overall, you can't go wrong with the Guide. At least it will keep you entertained as you fall invariably to your doom from the top of a gigantic waterfall in the middle of Oblivion. It will inform you as you drag the chest full of septims out of the ancient Dwemer ruins. Lastly, it will make up your last rational thought as you succumb to Sheogorath's insane cackles.

Nonetheless, it is highly recommended that you acquire your own copy of The Hitchhiker's Guide to Tamriel today at a merchant's stand near you. You can also write to Magicius Idioticus Publications in Cheydinhal in the province of Cyrodiil. Just be sure to include 10 septims for shipping and handling in addition to the 25 septims for the cost of the book.

As a bonus to your purchase, you can become a contributor to the Guide by simply writing in your newly purchased copy. Just be sure to go on actual adventures as you write!

One last thing, if you are worried about Theradyis Alva and M'aiq the Liar don't worry. They will be back in the next installment The Restaurant at the End of Oblivion. Please read and review!

The End