Walking the paths of the cemetery would never become familiar to Katsuki, even as he trudged along them for the so manieth time in the span of a year.

He kept his gaze down while passing others, the people present quietly praying before the tombs of their loved ones, placing incense and flowers as a tribute or a memory.

When Katsuki finally made it to Izuku's tomb, stomach heavy with the sounds of other grieving families, he noticed a small change.

In front of the bland stone slab there was a picture. It rested against the stone, the red, white, blue and yellow colors of the All Might frame standing out weirdly against all the surrounding grey.

In the frame there was a picture of Izuku. It was plain and simple, just like Izuku used to be.

Katsuki sat down in front of the tomb, legs crossed, staring at Izuku's smile. It reached all the way to his eyes, creating small dimples. Katsuki had nearly forgotten how freckled Izuku's face had been after not seeing it for so long.

Somehow, being able to see his face like this, even if it was a picture, it made everything easier for Katsuki. He felt a little more at ease having something to look at while talking.

In the softest voice he could muster, he started talking. 'Hey, nerd. What's up?' he asked, smirking softly. He knew that Izuku couldn't reply, but he loved being able to greet the guy like that.

Katsuki shifted. 'So… a lot of things happened. With you. Me. Between us.' Katsuki stared at his hands in his lap. His heartrate was speeding up and the anxiety flared up in his stomach.

He forced himself to look up again, to look at Izuku as he talked. He exhaled a shuddering breath, chuckling, as he realized that maybe for the first time in their lives since they were four, they were talking on the same level. No looking down, vicious grin on his face, tearing Izuku down bit by bit. No terrified eyes, glistening with tears, looking up, hoping for it to end soon.

'I'm just…,' Katsuki started, struggling to find the words. He tried to start the sentence a couple of times, utterly failing with every attempt. He didn't remember when it had become so hard to talk.

Katsuki took a deep breath, placing his hands on knees and leaned forward, eyes squeezed shut, as he whisper-yelled: 'I'm fucking sorry, okay!'

He knew that people present at the cemetery might glare at him – was sure that they actually were – but he didn't care. He had to get this off his chest. Katsuki had never been able to properly apologize when Izuku was alive and, even though it was too late now, he felt like he did owe the guy one.

'I'm sorry for making you feel like that. Like… like you weren't worth anything.. if that's how you felt. I don't fucking know how you felt, you never talked to me….'

He exhaled another shaking breath. 'You should've talked to me. I've gotten angry about that before, haven't I? Sorry for coming to yell at you about that…'

He looked at his hands again, tears prickling behind his eyes. He clenched his fists, determined not to cry. 'And I… I'm sorry for making you think that you couldn't talk to me… about this…,' Katsuki gestured at the tomb and the cemetery.

He covered his face with his hands as he realized how stupid that sounded. Another deep breath later, he turned to look at Izuku again. 'I guess I'm just… sorry… for making you feel like this was the only option.'

His heart was aching in his chest as he talked. It had taken him a full week before he mustered up the courage to go to the cemetery on his own again, afraid of another one of the mental breakdowns he'd had before.

Truth be told, the last week had been a rollercoaster, but, unlike the one at the theme park, it seemed like this one only went up.

After they had all gone to the park together, it seemed like people started to notice Katsuki more. They would ask him to eat lunch with them in the cafeteria, train with them, and some of them even tried to start a private conversation with him through LINE. Katsuki still struggled with that, but he tried.

Not only the people he had gone out with had become more interested in Katsuki – he simply didn't have any other words for it – but many of his other classmates tried to strike up a conversation with him every now and then as well.

At some point Katsuki started to wonder where the sudden pique of interest had come from, only to realize later that it might've always been there, but he just never noticed.

Katsuki took a deep breath before continuing. 'But I guess I'm also grateful. Not for you having done.. that. I hate you for that.' Even though he said it out loud, there was no heat behind the words. He had long gotten past that stage.

'I'm grateful for you having been in my life. I never really… appreciated it, I guess… but you being there.. it was a constant.'

Katsuki could vividly remember how Izuku would always chase after him, always follow Katsuki with every journey they departed on. Even as their relationship began to turn sour in middle school, Izuku was always at Katsuki's side.

'It's because of that that I'm learning how to make friends. Real friends, not those idiots back from middle school. You taught me that.'

A single tear rolled down Katsuki's cheek and he quickly wiped it away. He felt stupid for crying over Izuku again. He probably wouldn't want Katsuki to cry over him anymore.

Katsuki leaned back on his hands, looking up at the sky. He smirked. 'Did you ever think I could make actual friends?' He looked back over to Izuku's picture, the expression never changing.

'Yeah, I don't get it either why they're sticking with me. I'm a fucking idiot for treating them the way I did.' Katsuki sighed. 'Guess you helped me with that too.'

Katsuki shifted and stuck his hands in his pocket, pulling out a small dish and a tiny rectangular box. He pushed himself to his knees, setting the dish next to Izuku's picture and placing a stick of incense on top of it. He pulled out a lighter from his pocket to light it. The stick sizzled as smoke drifted to the sky, filling the surrounding air with the soft scent of pine.

Katsuki sat back on his heels. 'You know… my time at UA is great,' he said, voice level as he looked around at the trees surrounding the cemetery. Katsuki could tell they were cherry blossom, even if they weren't in bloom.

'The people in my class.. well, they're idiots, not gonna lie.. but I'm glad to have them around.' Katsuki shifted to sit a little more comfortably as he kept on talking.

'I imagined UA to be much fancier,' he smirked. 'I mean, it's still fancy as fuck, but we don't nearly have enough battle training to my taste…. Though I guess rescue training is pretty important too.'

Katsuki kept quiet as a small family passed by, not wanting to sound crazy for talking to a dead person. 'Hey, you probably know about the Sports Festival right?' he asked, not expecting any answer, but he could imagine the glimmer in Izuku's eyes at the mention of the event.

It was huge and everything soon-to-be-hero related, so it had always appealed to Izuku. The guy wouldn't be away from the TV screen for even a second as it aired. Katsuki smiled thinking back about that.

'Of course you do. Guess who got first place? Ain't I fucking great?' Katsuki grinned with pride, pulling the first place medal out of his pocket, holding it up to the frame as if Izuku were there to see it.

When placing it down next to him, he said, softer 'I didn't win on my own, though. The others helped.'

Katsuki imagined Izuku looking surprised at seeing the blond admit that he didn't win on his own. No, that image was wrong. The only way Katsuki knew him was with hunched shoulders, teary eyes and trembling hands. He wishes he had had a chance to make up sooner, to see Izuku in more than just a vulnerable state like that.

Katsuki took in a deep breath. 'I'm an idiot for thinking of all these things that could've happened if you hadn't jumped,' he exclaimed deadpanned, staring at the sky and talking to no one in particular, not even aimed at Izuku.

He looked back down at the grey slab of stone underneath him, the air already tinged with the scent of pine. Katsuki stretched his arms above his head, starting to feel sore from sitting like this, but he wasn't done yet.

He didn't want to continue, because he knew he was out of things to say. Katsuki knew that after he had finished saying all of this, this… talking to Izuku… it would be over.

It had taken him a long time to decide on this, to stop seeing Izuku and torture himself like that, but it was necessary. He kept living in the past and he started to realize it was toxic.

'Guess what I'm trying to say is.. thanks. Thanks for having always been there for me even though I was an asshole. Thanks for making me see the best in others and finally be able to make friends. I just… I won't come here anymore. At least not as much as I've done lately. You'd understand.'

He snickered, tears welling up in his eyes again. 'You wouldn't want to keep living in the past if there was a brighter future ahead, right?'

Katsuki looked up at the picture again, tears rolling freely down his cheeks. 'It doesn't mean I'll forget you, don't make that mistake, nerd.'

Katsuki hiccupped, wiping furiously at his eyes. 'I'm going to use you. You'll help me get through this. I know you could never be the hero you wanted to be, so I'm going to be the hero you needed me to be. Got that!?'

Katsuki bit on his lip to keep his voice down, frustration seeping through his words.

'Fuck!' he spat out, wiping at his eyes again, yet the tears kept on flowing.

Katsuki pushed himself to his feet, shielding his face with his arm. 'Just…. Please watch over me!' he yelled, bowing down low.

Overrun with emotions, Katsuki couldn't stop himself from sobbing. He turned, ready to bounce, nearly forgetting what he came there for.

From his pocket he pulled a picture. It was slightly bent on all corners from being in his pocket all day, yet the colors were still vivid. He reached down, placing the picture next to Izuku's, together with the first place medal he had won.

On the picture were all of his classmates, standing in neat lines in their uniforms. It was the casual picture they had taken after the formal one, so everyone was smiling and cheering, pulling funny faces or just trying to get everyone to calm down. It was a perfect representation of everyone present.

After putting it down, Katsuki stalked away, wiping furiously at his eyes, but unable to keep the tears from flowing freely. It had taken him fifteen years and the death of his best friend to realize that Izuku was more than anyone had ever deserved, more than Katsuki had ever deserved. Yet still, Izuku had stayed by his side.

He passed the gate that marked the entrance of the cemetery and paced away, his eyes swollen and cheeks red and, even though he was crying, it didn't feel bad. From now on he could focus on moving forward, growing with the friends he had gained and becoming what he striven to be for so long.

And somehow, he knew that Izuku would always be at his side, always pushing him forward to reach his full potential. Katsuki couldn't deny the fact that he had failed him before, but he wouldn't now, couldn't. He would become the greatest hero, for Izuku, and for every other person who ever felt that helpless.

Katsuki looked up at the blue sky, and grinned.

This is the end of this story. Thank you all so much for sticking with me as I wrote this. It was heart-wrenching, gut-twisting, tear-inducing to write this story and I honestly lost count of how many times I cried XD

I hope you all liked reading this and following Katsuki on his way to acceptance. I honestly don't want anything but the best for this blond idiot

Thank you HottShott for helping me properly word my ending

Till another time :)