I have had a rough time since my friend's death.

Really it's hard to be creative when one of my favorite subjects is angst, and now that I've gone through it I really don't know what to do when it comes to writing it.

I took time and I think i'm ready to write fully again.

So here's to trying~!

~|_X_|~

Izaya stood before the copper dome, staring up into it's polished face. Snow trinkled slow, melting in warm lantern light, frockling footsteps and on many cheerfuly faces.

Saltzburg in winter was stunning. He wondered what it'd sparkle like in the day, for they had arrived before the first few rays of sun hit the mountains.

Izaya felt something warm touch the top of his head, and beside him stood Shizuo dressed in a black cloak.

"Warm cider?"

"Please," Izaya took it, blowing on the mug as they stood in the square. "I am in awe."

"You look it."

"I never knew of a large market, or this snow that comes down frosting like… like leaves on iron."

Shizuo found the amazement too endearing. In truth, Saltzburg was a place he had long wanted to bring Izaya. Well, one place of many. To see his raven walking down fashion streets, looking at all there is to see. He wanted to take Izaya everywhere, a first in his heart.

"Shizu-chan~"

Shizuo snapped back to reality, Izaya was already downing his cider and now looked at him in worry.

"Enjoying the view?" He was asked.

"All of it," Shizuo responded drinking his own cup.

Around them walked a merry people, and interspersed were the crew of The Dollar.

Shinra had lurched off the ship with Kida and Mikado, racing them like children to the largest beer garden with coin in hand, all three were overtaken by Jio and more as they longed for the warm comforts of a beer hall, pretzels and lovely ladies.

Tamari, Kira and Elias sauntered off slowly together, following Izaya for they were less interested in getting drunk. Especially since it was just hardly dawning.

"It was hard to find a place that was open." Said Shizuo, Elias, Tamari and Kira close to them, "I think Shinra and them will have a bit of an issue finding an inn."

"They'll find one," Said Kira, "I have no doubt."

She and Tamari wore dark red, nearly looking like sister if it weren't for their strikingly different faces. Tamari's red hair was lifted into a high bun, curls trickling down the sides of her face and a poorly stitched orange quilt over her shoulders. Kira's was black, braided down her shoulder.

Elias was Elias. Coming off of The Dollar was very rare for him, yet he did so with style that Izaya could even appreciate. Dressed in green coat, black trousers, a scarf of black, and his hair pulled into a ponytail. In his own ways handsome.

They finished their drinks, returning their mugs to the kind early vendor, and took to the streets.

The city slowly wakening to a Christmas snow.

A chorus struck up a song in a nearby church, Shizuo paused to listen. There were large windows, but instead of using one Izaya peaked inside using his eyes.

With stunning clarity, he was seeing the pues with early worshippers. He saw a priest raising his hands, beaming wishing all well and merry. He saw a child playing the most beautiful of songs on the organ, then the chorus in the local tongue sprung into session again.

"I remember the bell choir." Spoke Elias suddenly from his left, gazing through the tall windows. "I was a tiny runt, my Mother was in it and took me every weekend and wednesday to practices. No one sang there, just the bells. It was beautiful, and even though it was a small church, they got very good at playing."

Izaya nodded, listening.

"At one point the lead could tell if even one person swung the bells either side to side, or up and down and would stop all to correct saying 'Who has G Minor?' and scolding them."

He seemed lost for a few seconds showing more emotion than Izaya had ever seen him convey, before realizing he was and taming his face again.

"I used to sing," Izaya didn't want Elias to shrink away feeling embarrassed. "I used to lead the whole chorus, and read the notes to them. I was one of the only ones who could."

Slowly they moved on, Shizuo walking besides a chittering Tamari. She was eager to spend time with the captain, Izaya would lie if he said he was not jealous of it. However, she was just merely someone who never had a real chance to know the man she worked under. She begged Izaya if she could come join them, and swiftly with her came Kira and with them came Elias.

"The castle." Tamari gasped grabbing Kira's arm, "look!"

"Yes, yes I see."

"Fortress Hohensalzburg." Shizuo told them over Kira's struggle to remove Tamari. "We can walk up and see it closer."

Izaya smirked, he saw the fondness in Shizuo's eyes for his crew and inside his chest felt all the warmer. He thought of his sisters then, and the warmth turned into ice. They were spending Christmas without him.

He shuttered.

~|_X_|~

"It is still a happy Christmas." Izaya, aged ten insisted to the two toddlers.

Kururi babbled a few real words, Mairu fussed in many non real words, Izaya sighed sitting on the kitchen floor.

"Babies…" He called them, then waited.

Waited to hear a scolding that would never come.

'Izaya, they are very young.' His father.

'Izaya~ Play nicely, they won't be that little forever!' His mother.

A hand on his head would comfort him, the twins would suddenly be picked up by stronger arms and hoisted into laughing fits.

He waited.

"It's still a happy Christmas." He said for a third time, then stood. "Mairu, Kururi we should go to church."

He brushed off his clothes, then pulled out two dark blue dresses. After a hasty breakfast of stale bread, he held the twin's hands leading them out into the bright cold day.

He ignored the looks of pity. Ignored the whispers asking each other who would care for such a trio. Ignored the bite of snow on his bare toes. He didn't know how to tie his own shoes even at his age.

The church was large, warm, the Bishop and Nuns were readying a long day of feasting.

The nunnery often let orphans join them, but with the building being used for some pirate's capture they were holding the feast in the regular church.

Izaya opened the door ushering his sisters inside.

"Orihara?" Mr. Josukai, the privateer and brother of the Baron, seemed shocked to see him.

"Josukai." Izaya greeted, bowing his head wanting to ignore the words that he still remembered. "Shouldn't you be with your family on Christmas?"

"Yes, but no sadly not." The man said, stopping a passing Nun and telling her quickly to bring two plates of softer food. When she gave him a look he gestured to Izaya and the little girls.

"Oh, oh my dear Izaya," She knelt, "you should have come earlier! Our choir could have really used your voice."

Izaya hated her pity.

"I was spending Christmas with my family." He felt like jabbing Josukai again, earning a small scolding look from the Nun. "What's left of it anyway."

There was the nail in the coffin. Josukai looked distraught for a few moments, hiding his mouth behind his hands as if to stifle a yawn. To think a child could bring a man down with only words.

"What happened had-"

"I'm ten. I do not want to think about it." Izaya pulled Mairu and Kururi with him past the privateer. "Bastard."

"Now listen," Josukai ignored how the nun tried to put herself between them, Izaya was still just a child after all. "I did not lure those pirates here."

"Who else knows the poem of my eyes." Izaya did not believe him, it had been many years since that day in the office but he knew where his blame belonged. "You wanted to use me as a means to kill them, and what better way than to bait Golden Eye?"

"That was not Golden Eye who came, and I would never use a chi-"

"You intended to have me trained, did you not? That I believe is using a child."

"Your fa-"

"Is dead. My Mother too. And it is thanks to these eyes you mention. You and Kotachi." His malice spewing from his lips faltered as fresh tears fell from his eyes. "I hate so much."

"Izaya…" The man knelt feeling guilt throughout his frame, "you misunderstand. You are a child, and your father was right. I had once wanted to raise you, spoil your childhood as he called it, but never had I wished for you to feel pain."

There was a long silence that followed as Izaya cried, his sisters were hoisted off by the kind Nun who fed them.

Josukai Yamalda staid kneeling before Izaya, closing his own eyes to the tears. The bishop, nuns and few locals who were entering ignored them.

"Is there anything I could do?" He asked, tentative now that Izaya had stopped. They were seated at a long table. The church rearranged with pews out of the way for a banquet.

Both had servings of potatoes, fish and juice that was slightly sweet.

"Train me… To kill pirates."

"A...Alright…" He did not question. "It will be hard-"

"Make sure my sisters wont ever be hurt."

Josukai nodded.

"Promise me."

"Alright," he held up a hand, "I promise. For as long as you live to protect the town, I will live to protect your sisters."

He lived precisely two months. Vanishing after being kidnapped by pirates who he had once hunted. Leaving Izaya to mutter the poem, and train under the Bishop.

Eyes that see through night, flesh, and tree. A soul born, bore in sea. A pirate king side's he shall seek. To be used, and used by thee.

~|_X_|~

Izaya cackled slipping on the ice down the stony ramp.

Kira was clinging to Elias, both reaching the walkway taking half inch steps together.

Shizuo was on his ass unable to stop sliding, he laughed loudly as he reached the end of the fortress wall first despite being the last to step onto the slippery slope.

Tamari did not want to follow his lead, sticking close to Izaya and looking down at the stones to pick the least iced ones.

"Fortunance doesn't mean skill, Shizu-chan." Izaya mocked, cautiously stepping down more.

"Luck it may be, but I still made it down first." He was sitting, blond hair catching sun rays as if he were the sun itself. Blinding. Handsome.

Whamp! Izaya slipped, blushing furiously because that very moment Shizuo had focussed his eyes on him.

Tamari giggled, "how love struck you ar-AH!" And down she went, sliding nearly into Elias who helped her up.

They were certainly a site to see, four adults acting like small children on a snowy day.

Predictably, once at the bottom of the ramp which lead them along the ridge of a hill that was in the middle of Saltzburg, someone threw a snowball.

It certainly wasn't Izaya.

And it certainly did not happen to hit Shizuo's back leaving what seemed to be a face grinning at them.

The next snowball really didn't come from Kira, but from the person next to her which was a half keeled over laughing Tamari.

Everything next was also predicted.

Shizuo launching snow at Izaya, Izaya dodging and pegging Kira who nearly ducked behind a tree. Tamari made two snowballs and began chasing Kira, Izaya snuck up on Shizuo who was busy trying to hit the two girls. Snow went down someone's shirt, then snow went down Izaya's pants, and Elias stood in the middle ignoring them all. Choosing to walk down the wooded path by himself.

Kira called a stop to the games, breathless and smiling wildly, to remind them they were respectable adults.

Snow inevitably went down the back of her corset. It certainly wasn't the other three responsible adults.

They followed Elias around the tree bend, looking down to houses nestled to the fortress hill's edge. Snow on every roof, people bustling like ants around, faintly the sounds of songs from carolers floated to them.

"There's an inn," Izaya noticed on the other side of the woods.

They walked around to it, following the snow that was trampled by boots and heels. There was a patio looking over the best of Saltsburg.

A sadness bloomed in Izaya, he longed for spring. It was unbelievable how beautiful the city was, with hills blanketed, and fortress iced. Spring time, no doubt, he would wish to live there forever.

Inside the inn they were seated warmly in a corner with white walls.

A lady approached them, she introduced herself as Ursula the keeper's wife, and offered them beer, water, wine, and bread.

Shizuo took the beer, Elias the water, Tamari, Kira and Izaya the wind, and all the bread.

It smelled too good to pass up.

Soon their table was filled with sweet, salty, succulent food. Roasted rabbit, pig knuckle, heavy gravies, thick spaetzle and potato salad.

It was warm. It was welcoming.

He leaned into the table laughing, seeing Shizuo letting go worries he didn't know the captain had.

Shizuo seeing Izaya laugh hard enough to tears. Seeing the light in his eyes flare brightly as he tried everything that was set before them.

"Really?"

"Yes!"

Cackles, Ursula who had been listening quickly related to her husband what had been said and they too burst into hysterics.

It did not matter what was being said, but the company put them in high spirits.

Izaya lifted his head to the ceiling, cheeks nearly hurting from the constant smile. He couldn't stop.

"Well obviously," Said Kira to Elias, " we couldn't get it down the steps. The cabinet was too big, and so my brother and pops were there. They spun it around, lifted it, and spun it again and upon putting it down my brother goes, 'Abracadabra… it's still on the second floor.' His face-" Everyone was howling, "- was most serious as a sailor's as he said it too!"

"Oh, I have a good one for you." Izaya spoke up, "now… there is a man named Goran. He enters a contest-"

"What contest?" Asked Kira.

"An eating contest. The winner gets a lifetime of fresh pies. Now, he wins. Upon taking his certificate the baker says 'congratulations, you've won a lifetime of pies.' and hands Goran a single pie. Goran is confused and says that there's only one pie. And the baker says aye, then pulls a gun on him." It's a joke that erupts from the table and spills over to Ursula who relays it to her husband who cackles from the kitchen.

After nearly two hours, they pay for their hearty meals and wish the in keeper and his wife a very merry Christmas leaving a bag of coins, and laughter still in their throats.

Outside it is cold, nearly bitterly so, but in Shizuo and Izaya's hearts they knew they would never ever forget that meal. The single meal of nothing but warmth, friends and laughter.

None of it was romantic. None of it is what he and Shizuo had originally wanted, but it was what they didn't know they needed.

They didn't know they were so stressed, and later when all was calm they'd realize what had been looming over them.

~|_X_|~

The rest of the day is spent walking market after market, stopping at nearly every stall. Buying baked goods, sweet ciders, rich chocolates and trinkets alike. Tamari even managed to sell a quilt she made for a single coin to an old lady who collected them from travelers.

The smile on Tamari warmed Izaya nearly like his sisters, and again he felt something sad in him.

For a few hours he was able to take his mind away, but a few hours was not the whole day.

With night slowly coming he began to shiver, curling his fingers under his cloak.

Shizuo noticed the slowing steps.

"Izaya?"

Izaya went to apologize, but caught the worried golden eyes.

"I miss my sisters." He spoke after a few breaths. "It's their first christmas without me, and there's no one home."

"Oh…" Shizuo nodded, suddenly unable to look his beloved in the eye. "I… I'm sorry."

"Well, I know Marvin has them." Sensing the guilt Izaya tried to stem it, "he always took better care of us. And the church has Christmas meals all day."

"I still took you from them."

There is was, out in the open. Something neither had really wanted to mention. Izaya was kidnapped. Though things have become close to paradise, it still started with malice.

"You did… but I have chosen to stay."

It did little to cheer Shizuo.

"Shizuo, I do miss my family. I really do, but I am happy here too."

"But it isn't right. I don't mean to come in between you all. Especially now that we are… lovers."

"Well," Izaya thought briefly, "we could always visit. Stop by for a small time to let them know all is well."

"We can't. You know that. The Dollar would be sunk long before the harbor. And if you set foot in the town your people are going to notice it."

Izaya felt a pang of something bitter. Was he really never going to see his sisters again?

"Let's talk about this later…" he said not wanting to be sad. He would not spend such a lovely day in tears.

"Aye…" Shizuo followed him now, though he felt less like laughing when they rejoined Elias, Kira and Tamari.

Across the river they entered a more residential street. There were small shops, but more towering buildings four stories high or higher. Stone archways lead them to nooks with small bookstores, and long paths lead them past a nunnery with an iron gate.

A nun passed them heading back from her doings, and paused behind Izaya.

"Excuse me," she tapped his shoulder causing Shizuo to nearly glare at her.

"Oh… Oh my," she had seen his eyes.

"Can I help you?" Izaya asked, and she shook her head.

"No, my dear, I had a curiosity. Your eyes are an omen that I had learned of."

"You know of my eyes?"

She nodded, "lots of us in the church do. I never thought I'd see them here."

Shizuo looked at Kira and the others, "why don't you guys go on ahead."

They left, and soon he and Izaya were inside a small private church up rounded stone steps.

"I'm Sister Gretelda." She had blue eyes and rosy cheeks, " I understand you don't know much about your eyes, do you?"

"I honestly don't. There is a lot that Bishop Yamalda never told me, but I have not spoken to him since…" He didn't know what to say, "since I began seeing through things."

"It is our duty then." She gave him a gentle smile, "your eyes are not a blessing, nor are they a curse… They're an omen."

This did not help their confusion.

"An omen of change. Of… either savior, or destroyer. You understand the legends of Golden Eye?"

"A bit," He said.

"Golden Eye is from our region, he inscribed a poem when he was young and found a blessing of power that was neither curse, nor salvation. He uses it for selfish deeds only. Your eyes are the match of his power. A match able to join him, or destroy him."

The back and forth of her words made Izaya uneasy. Every person was good and bad, that was something he understood, but hearing how his eyes were something supreme made the good seem valliant and the bad pure evil. Both tempting, and both something he understood were easy to fall into.

"Golden Eye's strength fades, your power grows." She spoke on, "you have a great responsibility."

"I understand," Izaya said now thinking his time wasted, "is there anything else you can tell me?"

"Eyes that see through night, flesh, and tree. A soul born, bore in sea. A pirate king side's he shall seek. To be used, and used by thee. Avoid pirates, is what my advice would be. The Pirate King's Side is what you shall seek, much like temptation. As well all can fall into the slippery slopes of sin, you can fall into the hand of that which would seek to rule the oceans. You will want to go to them, to help them. Longing much like a thirsty man's longing to drink salt water when drifted out at sea." She looked with gravity towards Shizuo, "Avoid pirates, the ocean, at least until Golden Eye is known to be dead. Until his power is truly at its weakest because then all you would be facing is a mere man."

They left the nunnery, pale in the face.

Shizuo did not know what to say, he felt a shifting between them.

Had their love been Izaya seeking a pirate? He thought, but pushed it away.

"It is a King Pirate," he muttered causing Izaya to stare, "I'm no King."

Suddenly he heard a small laugh from the raven.
"What were you thinking about, Shizu-chan?"

"That uh.. You sought me?"

"And here I was dwelling on us having to kill your father." Izaya spoke in a tone that was half serious. He had been thinking on that. On the slim chance Shizuo would not want to do it.

"We will have to kill him." It was plain as day, with no bitter tongue against the idea. "If… If we do then maybe I could rewrite my own name."

Izaya brushed snow from a windowsill, watching it melt against his fingers.

"Rewriting your past…"

"We kill Golden Eye, make it well known we did and maybe… Maybe I won't be seen as just a pirate."

"I could see my sisters again without having to leave your side." Izaya thought out loud as they rounded towards the river.

As they mused on becoming more serious, debating how they would do it, Sister Gretelda watched them.

Unseen she slipped down the streets, merry in her own way. It was much darker now, she shed off the nunnery's uniform, and naked delved into the cold waters turning into something serpentine.

Her eyes of blue turn dark rich red, and soon she vanished satisfied again with the perfection that was Izaya. She knew his name well, Izaya.

Izaya.

Izaya.

I-za-ya.

~|_X_|~

Red: Sorry sorry sorry, I really have not been up to writing. But I will be trying hard to do my best!

Please comment! Follow, fav, and let me know what you think is happening~?

Until next time~!