Hi everyone!

So, this here is my very first Hunger Games fanfiction. It is quite dark and has some themes that might be disturbing to some people. This IS also a role reversal fanfic in which Katniss is the one who was born in the bakery while Peeta is the one who lives in the Seam. The POV will be third-person but will alternate between Katniss and Peeta. This is kind of a test fic so let me know if you want more!

Do NOT read if:

-You hate themes such as child abuse, suffering, violence, murder

-You don't like role reversal fanfics.

-You don't like occasional swearing

Anyways, enjoy! I apologize for any grammar mistakes in advance.

.

.

PART I: PRE-ARENA

~Chapter 1: 11~

"We never get over great losses; we absorb them and they carve us into different creatures"

.

.

The bakery of District 12 was known for many things. It sold delicious bread, cookies, and other pastries. The Mellarks, the ones who ran the bakery were kind too. Their daughter, Katniss Mellark was also known to be beautiful, kind, and a friend of laughter. She also had a distinct appearance, not what one would see in a town person. She looked like a Seam girl with blue eyes. She inherited black hair from her mother and blue eyes from her father. The combination between Seam and Merchant looks was attractive to many. Some people regarded it with disdain. But even those people had a soft spot for Katniss. She was generous, selfless, and kind. She achieved quite good grades and was very humble. She loved helping others and she gave people baked goods on holidays. She loved to sing so she often sang during her past time. It was unknown how she inherited such a good singing voice considering how her parents almost never did. However, it was for a different reason.

Katniss Mellark was also content with her life. Her parents were kind and gentle. They were the ones who taught her how to bake, knead the dough, and ice the cakes. She loved doing all of it. (The only job that she did not really enjoy was slaughtering the pigs. Blood made her queasy).Their family was fairly wealthy. Not the wealthiest, but they were better than the ones that lived in the Seam. Katniss sometimes secretly gave the little Seam children cookies. Seeing the starving young children, many with their ribs showing broke Katniss's gentle heart. After all, It was better to be hurt yourself and help others, rather than hurting others for your own benefit. That was what her parents taught her.

Another thing that Katniss loved watching was the children of all ages, both Seam and Merchant, marveling her decorated cakes. She felt a little sorry for them since it was hard for some families to afford. But she loved how they praised the beautiful flowers, the soft colors, and the patterns. Her parents also loved it.

Despite the fact that Katniss seemed like she would make many friends, she didn't. At first, she did, but after finding out some tried to take advantage of her kindness and generosity, she decided to isolate herself. She did have one friend. Madge, the mayor's daughter. She was like Katniss, seemed to be the kind to have many friends but isolated herself. That was one of the reasons Katniss liked her.

When she wasn't hanging around with Madge, she would look outside of the window at the school building for ideas to either draw or decorate on the cakes. She was very fond of animals and liked to play outside. Other times, she would stare at that particular Seam boy. She first noticed him in Kindergarten during music class. After hearing him sing the valley song, so loud, clear, and beautiful, she tried to get to that too, to get him to notice her as well. She remembered that his dad visited the bakery on occasion. Whenever he did, her family would get delicious meat. She supposed the boy inherited his marvelous singing voice from his father, who made the mockingjays stop to listen.

The boy intrigued her. He looked like he could've been born in the Town, as he had the stereotypical blond hair. Evidence that he lived in the Seam was his stormy grey eyes. Not to mention, he was the cutest boy she had ever seen. As time went on, Katniss tried to talk to him or to say hello, but she could never find the courage to do so. All she could do was watch him from afar. Another reason why she liked him was because of his little sister. She was a spitting image of her older brother. She was kind, sweet, and innocent like Katniss herself. The little girl would marvel at Katniss's decorations during the few times she had come along with her father to the bakery. In a few feeble ways to catch the boy's attention, she would decorate the flower with the blonde Seam girl's namesake, Primrose. But to her disappointment, he didn't seem to bat an eye to her. Both of them were like her, evidence that Seam and Merchant can be together.

Katniss wanted a sibling too, but her parents were content with just her. "We don't need any more children, Katniss. We only want you!" her father would say. Even so, Katniss was content.

When she was 11, her so-called peaceful life came to an abrupt end when the accident happened. Down in the mines, there was an explosion which killed many miners, mostly from the Seam. Her father sought to help them. Katniss caught snippets of their conversation.

"You can't go there, Boris! It's dangerous," her mother pleaded.

Her father shook his head. "My dear," he said "They need help there. All I want to do is see if they are all right." he reassured her.

"But you can get killed there too!"

"I promise. I won't die. Okay?" He gave her mother a kiss on the cheek.

"You better not." her mother said.

And Boris Mellark stepped out of the house.

When morning came, he still was not back yet. Katniss and her mother went out to see the survivors of the mine explosion. That's when two miners carrying a stretcher came by to her mother. She saw the two men say something to her mother and saw her mother freeze. The next thing Katniss heard was a scream, filled with pain and sorrow, from her mother. Katniss ran over to see what happened.

"Mom!" Katniss shouted. "Mom! Are you okay?" Her mother could only sob in reply.

"Hey!" Katniss turned to a voice and saw it was one of the miners, with a burn on his face. "You must be Katniss Mellark right?" Katniss nodded. "I want you to listen to me very carefully, and relax..." he told her.

For some reason, the miner's voice faded out. Katniss couldn't hear anything. Instead, she decided to use her sight to find out what happened. Her eyes landed on a lifeless form on the stretcher with a blond head.

That was when her hearing finally returned. She heard a little girl's scream as her sight faded to black.

Her father's funeral was the first one she had ever experienced. Even though it was only the first, she already reached a conclusion. She hated them. She never imagined it to be like this.

Katniss was surprised at how many people had come to the funeral. Though deep down, she knew they were not as deeply affected.

"I'm sorry for your loss," they said

"He was a kind man."

"He's gone to a better place."

People talked to her, but their voices burned holes. They had no meaning. They didn't care. They were thankful it didn't happen to them.

But then, she heard a voice that made her look up, along with her mother.

"It's better to be hurt yourself and help others, rather than hurting others for your own benefit."

Mr. Everdeen. She didn't know why the father of her crush was saying this to them. But she was surprised how he knew about that. He nodded to her mother whose gaze softened. And she smiled for the first time since her father's death. Mr. Everdeen looked sad too. It was then when she noticed him covered in bandages, and with what seemed to be a completely mangled leg.

Her eyes met the young boy's behind his father. His eyes widened with recognition then flit away, with something that looked like guilt. Or sympathy. She couldn't really tell. Katniss turned away and returned to her initial position. Hunched shoulders, downcast gaze, blank expression. For some reason, she didn't even feel sad. Just numb. Normally, that would've struck a chord in her, but now didn't seem like it mattered.

That day, her mother had changed. She was no longer the kind and gentle mother that Katniss knew. The one Katniss loved. The second they stepped into the bakery foyer, her mother began shouting at her.

"What is your problem, Katniss?!" she screeched. Katniss jumped at the sudden outburst.

"How can you not even love your own father?!" she screeched again.

"N-no!" Katniss replied, shocked. "How could I not-?"

"You didn't even shed a single tear when he died!" her mother's voice grew increasingly louder with each word.

"But-" Katniss tried to protest but was interrupted with a slap to the face. While it didn't have enough force to knock someone down, Katniss fell due to the shock of it. She hissed in pain at the stinging sensation it left.

"YOU UNGRATEFUL BRAT! HE TAUGHT YOU MANY THINGS! HE TOOK CARE OF YOU AND LOVED YOU! YOU ARE EQUIVALENT TO AN EMOTIONLESS KILLER!" Katniss didn't recoil from the hurtful words.

Instead, she was shocked.

She was shocked at how her loving mother had the ability to accuse her of these things. She was shocked at how her mother's usual kind face was contorted into an ugly scowl.

Her mother left the foyer of the bakery and went up the stairs. A door slam was heard. Katniss was left on the floor, trembling from the shock, the sting of the slap fading out with her mother's outburst.

It's okay Katniss. Mom is just sad. Everything will be okay. We'll work together to run the bakery, we'll continue to bake things the way we used to, maybe I'll find a way to make more money. Mom will be alright. I love you, Daddy. I miss you.

Unfortunately, things did not really go as she hoped to. Her mother had good days and bad days. One day, she would be speaking to her with her usual kindness and tenderness. Katniss cherished those moments more than anything Other days, she would be throwing pots and pans at her. Katniss did her best to take care of her mother, and manage the shop. It wasn't easy considering how much work she had to do. Luckily she remembered the most important recipes and made sure those were always prepared. She made sure to smile and greet every customer kindly; that became increasingly harder to do as time passed. The stress from maintaining the shop, caring for her mother, and most of all, grieving her father's death was slowly making her fall apart.

Her mother's depression and mood swings were no secret to the town. People gave them gifts of all sorts and the Capital even gave them a large sum of money to get them back on their feet. That money disappeared rapidly, probably because of her mother.

Katniss sometimes skipped school to help her mother run the bakery. On days when her mother felt well, she would go to school and act like everything was normal. Though she was sure everyone could tell she was different from before. She was sure the blond Seam boy noticed this the most out of everyone as she often caught him staring at her with guilty and sad eyes. Though he was the least of her worries. Most important was to keep the bakery from failing.

Around half a year later, her mother called her into the house for some important things.

"Now Katniss," she told her. "This room here is designated for you." Her mother pointed to her dad's old office.

"Okay," Katniss replied, narrowing her eyes in suspicion.

Her mother opened the door in the office. The new sight in there astounded and horrified her at the same time.

In the middle of the room, there was a cage. It looked to be slightly bigger than the chicken coop that was in their yard- to be exact, only 5x5 feet. In the corner of the room, there was a narrow closet that looked like had a few nails, spikes, and knives stuck through the door and the back of it. It reminded Katniss of an iron maiden. All of the windows, except one, were covered by wood planks which were nailed to the wall, blocking any light from coming in.

Katniss found her voice after staring at the contraptions for a few minutes. "M-mother… Wh-what is this?" She had lessons about old torture methods in school, so she really hoped her mother wasn't trying to recreate them.

Her mother's reply was sickly sweet and filled with malice which made Katniss's insides churn. "This, darling sweetheart, is where you'll go if you are a bad girl. Depending on the severity, I'll either sentence you to maybe a day in the cage, or a few hours in the closet. And if you are a very bad girl, I'll sentence you to even more."

"But mother! This is mad! I can get badly hurt in the-" Katniss was cut off with a hand pressing firmly to her mouth.

"I'm not finished yet." her mother said. "This will eventually be helpful to you. You are too kind. That's why those people in your school try to take advantage of you."

Katniss was dumbfounded. For fear that her mother would do something bad, she replied with a quiet "okay" and got to work in the bakery. Doing her best to not mess anything up.

First, she prepared the bread the way her father had taught her. She took out the dough, covered it with flour, and proceeded to knead it. Once that was done, she set it aside.

Her feelings were jumbled up and mixed together. It was like anger, hatred, confusion, sadness, and hopelessness were put in a blender, pounded together, and locked inside her brain.

A single tear slid down her cheek. She wiped it with her sleeve. Don't cry Katniss! You'll be fine! Mother is just having a bad day. Shh, relax. Deep breaths. But Katniss seriously doubted this was the case.

She was icing one of the cakes, concentrating to make sure the flowers she was decorating were pristine and beautiful. She eventually began to sense eyes cutting into the back of her head. Combined with the lingering thought of the office, apprehension took over her body, making it nearly impossible to do her job properly. She picked up the maroon colored icing to decorate the middle of the flowers-

"What is with your proportions?!" Katniss jumped in surprise,

SQUIRT

Katniss knew she had screwed up big time without even looking to see what it was. Her mouth opened in horror as she realized what she had done. She took a deep breath and looked down.

The flowers, with their three, white, heart-shaped petals, were uneven in size and were too clustered together. The arrow-shaped leaves around them were too fat. Worst of all, a large maroon blob of frosting completely covered half of the flowers, making whatever could've been fixed unsalvageable. Katniss flowers. Ruined and mutilated beyond repair.

Her mother's usually kind face contorted into an ugly scowl.

"YOU INCOMPETENT LITTLE FOOL!" She grabbed for the young 12-year-old girl.

Katniss sidestepped from her mother's hand. "Mom! Please! I know I messed up!" Katniss tried to placate her and save herself from a possibly hellish night in the cage or iron maiden.

"Do you know how much that WASTE would cost us?!"

"I KNOW Mom! I'm sorry!" Her mother grabbed her by the hand. There was no gentleness or tenderness in her grip. Her mother's sharp nails dug into her skin.

She continued to drag Katniss in the direction of the office with the tiny cage and the closet with knives and sharp nails.

Her mother walked into the darkened room with a screaming and pleading Katniss in tow.

"Please, mom!" she whispered as her mother shoved her into the cage, slammed it shut and locked it.

Then she stormed out of the room and slammed the door.

Katniss wrapped her fingers around the bars of the cage. All the hope she had left disappeared. What could she do now with her mother like this?

The kind mother she knew was gone, replaced by this monster. There really was nothing to believe in now. Was the tender and loving mother completely unsalvageable?

Katniss tried to stretch but found that she had barely enough room to straighten her legs. She silently stared into space.

Minutes passed. Then hours. Katniss began to feel the sharp throbbing pangs of hunger. Her stomach begged for food. Was this how Seam children felt? No. She was different from them. She was not accustomed to the constant gnawing at her stomach like they were.

Her mother did not come to let her out. Katniss called for her to come. She said she was sorry and that she would do everything her mother told her to do. She yelled and called until her throat became too raw to yell anymore. Her legs were begging to be set free.

"Daddy…. Daddy… ," she sobbed softly into the darkness.

She began to drift off into what she would later call "a peaceful sleep."

Thank you guys for reading the first chapter! Rate and Review, please!

-Gardenia88 ;D