Campfire

When Reborn suggested that they talk about their "feelings" to improve their work relations, namely sharing what was giving them deep angst, all eyes turned to Gokudera.

"But I don't have any angst," Gokudera countered a little too quickly, flushing under their scrutiny. "I really don't!"

Mukuro snorted at his poor attempt at deception. "Your entire life is full of angst," he said dismissively.

"So is yours," Gokudera retorted with a glare.

"Drink up, boys," Reborn announced, passing over another round of beer. "We have all night."

They were gathered around a campfire, free from the office and their paperwork for once, armed with marshmallows and booze. They'd even managed to drag out Hibari, who was still as antisocial as ever.

"Between Gokudera and Mukuro, I think Mukuro's had it worse," Yamamoto commented, poking a marshmallow stick into the fire. "It's hard to beat human experimentation."

They murmured in agreement and Mukuro smiled with pride whilst looking absolutely homicidal.

"A toast to Mukuro then," Reborn said, and they downed their beers in one go.

Moments later, they heard a body hit the ground. Heads turned to the dark haired male wearing a uniform jacket with a prefect armband pinned to its sleeve.

"Oh no, Kyouya's out," Mukuro deadpanned.

Lambo poked the body with a stick. "Should we barbecue him?"

"Maybe we should remove his clothes first," Mukuro mocked with glee.

Tsuna sighed. "I can't believe he still wears his school uniform. We graduated, what, five years ago?"

"I'll never forgive that bastard for beating up the Tenth!" Gokudera hissed. "Fuck middle school."

More murmurs of agreement passed around the circle.

"Too much angst?" Reborn prompted.

"Yeaaaa," Tsuna drawled.

"Yeaaaaaa," Lambo agreed.

"I was extremely angsty because nobody wanted to join the boxing club!" Ryohei yelled.

"I wonder why," Tsuna muttered.

"I wonder why," Gokudera echoed.

"I think it's because we extremely lost every match!" Ryohei wailed.

Yamamoto slung an arm over the boxer's shoulders in sympathy. "The baseball team lost most of its games too. It's okay bro, there's no need to force yourself to smile..."

"Wow, you guys suck," Lambo snickered.

Tsuna suddenly burst into tears. "I can't help but suck at everything," he sobbed. "They called me No-Good Tsuna since elementary school. I try my best but still suck!"

"I failed every maths exam back in middle school and high school," Yamamoto replied. "I'm with you."

"Faaaailureeee buddiiieeees!" Tsuna moaned, hugging his friend tightly.

"You should study more," Gokudera said, rolling his eyes.

"You don't need to study coz you're a genius," Tsuna retorted.

"Yeah, what an asshole," Lambo agreed. "Everyone hates you."

"Even your precious Tenth," Mukuro added.

"Shut the fuck up, Pineapple. The Tenth doesn't hate me!"

Tsuna blinked, light-headed and his vision blurry from his third beer. "I don't?"

"Our beloved Tenth is unamused by your puppy-dog behaviour and creepy stalker antics," Mukuro added smugly.

"Oh yea, that's true," Tsuna said.

"Saaaaavage," Yamamoto drawled with a wince. "Gokudera's going to cry."

"I'm not crying!"

"Less crying, more drinking," Reborn interrupted, handing Gokudera another can of beer.

They went through their next round of drinks in silence, except Tsuna who was torn between sobbing and giggling hysterically.

"I miss my mother," Gokudera was soon mumbling, going through old family photos on his phone. "Why did she have to die?"

"Why did my mum die before I was born?" Yamamoto grieved, burying his head in his hands.

"I killed my parents," Mukuro said eerily. "And all my other relatives."

"Can you kill my dad?" Tsuna asked, clenching his fists resentfully as old memories of that bastard resurfaced.

"Kill my parents too!" Lambo implored. "They sent me across the world to kill Reborn when I was five!"

Mukuro nodded solemnly. "Of course. I'll give you two discounts due to our friendship."

Tsuna threw up his arms in celebration, accidentally dropping his beer. The can rolled into the campfire and exploded.

"Oh no, Kyouya's on fire," Tsuna said.

"Shouldn't we, um, extremely put those flames out?" Ryohei replied with concern.

"Naaaah, we haven't roasted him enough," Lambo said.

"How long do you think it'll take to cook him?" Mukuro quipped.

"Maybe we should douse him in water," Gokudera said, frowning. "It's starting to smell bad."

Ryohei grabbed a metal bucket and ran off to find water.

"Hmm, I do like Kyouya wet," Mukuro simpered.

"Mukuro, stop violating my virgin ears!" Tsuna shrieked.

Lambo stared at him in disbelief. "Are you actually a virgin though?"

"Yes," Tsuna admitted, squeezing his eyes shut.

"Cough up your money, boys," Mukuro announced. "Tsuna still hasn't popped his cherry."

"I was betting on Kyoko," Gokudera mumbled, begrudgingly pulling cash from his wallet.

"It was obviously going to be Haru!" Lambo cried.

"I was betting on Gokudera," Yamamoto said, much to the former's outrage.

Mukuro took their money, split it evenly and handed one half to Reborn.

"So, um," Tsuna began awkwardly, "Are any of you, you know, um-"

"No," Lambo said.

"Not me," Yamamoto said with a cheeky grin.

"EXTREEEEEEEME!" Ryohei returned to their camp and dumped the bucket of water over Kyouya, who jerked like a fish out of water but remained unconscious.

"I've been too busy plotting genocide," Mukuro answered Tsuna smoothly.

Lambo gaped at them in shock. "All of you, except Yamamoto and Reborn. Are you guys for real?"

"What! I-" Gokudera spluttered.

"Whether you're a virgin is uncontentious, Octopus-head, just like Kyouya and Ryohei," Lambo replied dismissively. "You're obviously saving yourself for Tsuna."

"Don't cry, Gokudera," Tsuna cooed, rubbing soothing circles down his friend's back. "Don't cry…"

"It's kinda sad you know, being one-upped by a baby in that respect," Yamamoto joked.

Reborn was all smug. "That's right, bitches."

Tsuna shot the hitman tutor a sideways glance. "Yeah, well your baby dick's not gonna please anyone," he scoffed. "Except yourself."

"Enough to get you screaming, No-Good Tsuna."

Mischief glinted in Yamamoto's eyes. "Well, there are five of you. Why don't you guys partner up?"

"Five is an odd number, dumbass," Gokudera snorted.

Reborn smirked as he jumped onto Yamamoto's shoulder. "Who said it had to be in pairs?"