Adrian was on his way to a place where he never thought he would step into again: Smurf's.

He didn't really like the place, for obvious reasons – but mainly because Smurf was living there. Though, after receiving that call from Craig, he couldn't not go.

He didn't even know exactly what was wrong, but he knew it was about Deran and that was enough for him. Craig had only told him that something had happened and the younger man wasn't doing so great, mentally speaking; that his brother needed Adrian right now to calm him down or something. The surfer was kind of worried after that; usually, Craig's presence was enough to put the other man at ease.

So when he arrived at the house and saw Craig waiting for him at the entrance leading towards the pool, he parked his car right away, not even bothering to lock the doors, and ran towards the taller man.

"Hey… where is he?" he asked without even a word of greeting.

Craig nodded his head towards a place in the yard.

"He's in my room," he added, watching the other man running in the direction he had shown him.

When Adrian arrived at the door, he saw that the curtains in the room and the blind on the inside of the door were closed. He knocked softly, as not to startle Deran, and announced himself as he entered the room which was plunged into half-light, but it didn't matter; Adrian only had eyes for Deran, who was sitting at the end of the bed, his head into his hands, his body rocking gently back and forth. The surfer closed the door behind him and went to crouch in front of the other man, putting one of his hands carefully on his knee as not to scare him.

"Deran…" Adrian murmured, concerned when he didn't get an answer, besides the younger man stopping his rocking motion.

The surfer then put his hands gently on Deran's and pulled them down to see his face despite the poor illuminated room.

"Hey…" the older man whispered, brushing his lover's hair with his fingers. "What's going on?"

Deran still didn't say anything. His eyes were cast downwards, but he wasn't crying. He just looked… weary, or something, which the other man confirmed soon enough.

"I'm just… I'm just tired, is all," he finally said. "I'm tired of all this shit with Smurf… and now Billy… He…"

Adrian heard him sighed deeply and watched him shake his head despondently.

"I don't want to talk about it right now," he continued, knowing he probably would have eventually.

"Okay… You don't have to," Adrian replied, his left hand now making soft circles into the back of the younger man's head and his right one leaving gentle caresses on his knee.

There was a moment of silence between them before Deran just leaned forward and kissed the surfer's lips lightly, his hands coming up to rest on the other man's arms. As they continued kissing for a few minutes, they both realized that this wouldn't be enough – like almost every other times between them. Without even realizing it, they were soon both standing up, grasping anything they could touch; hair, skin, clothes – those had to go.

Adrian's hands went under Deran's shirt, getting it out of the way as his own was also removed by his lover, interrupting the kiss for a few seconds. But their lips reunited again while their hands were fumbling with the rest of their clothes, which were soon joining their shirts on the floor. They both kicked their shoes amd socks out, not caring about where they would land.

Adrian put his hands around Deran's waist, getting him down on the bed behind him. The way they were kissing felt like they both wanted to drown into each other's body and soul. The surfer's hands got somewhat rough on the other man's body, seeking every part of it that he could reach. But all this wild attitude disappeared when Deran's right leg came around his waist, bringing him even closer to the younger man's body. Adrian slowed down his movements, pulling back a little, his forehead against Deran's, both of them breathing in the same air. The older man felt one of his partner's hands on the small of his back, applying a certain pressure there; Deran's eyes were cast downwards again, as if he wasn't too sure about what he was actually doing and felt embarrassed about it. But the surfer needed to make sure that this was what the other man truly wanted; after all, this would probably – certainly – be his first time in that position. Adrian also knew how vulnerable it made his lover feel, the hand on his back slightly shaking being one of the obvious signs.

"Deran…?" the older man whispered.

"Mmm…" his partner hummed as quietly, still not looking up.

The taller man brushed his right hand's fingers against Deran's face, his thumb caressing his jawline gently, stroking him until the other man's eyes looked up at him, even if it was just for a brief moment, before they looked away again. Adrian didn't need to ask; he had seen the look in the man's eyes even with the darkness surrounding them. Deran wanted – needed – this, but he wasn't exactly sure how to go about it.

Adrian understood and, making sure he kept a hand on Deran at all times, as if the younger man would flee if he wasn't touching him, he pulled away a little, getting lube and a condom from the bedside table, where he knew Craig would keep those, and went back to his place, above the other man.

Deran's slightly trembling hands found their way around Adrian's waist, running fingers along his hips and then his thighs, his face looking pensive. He was unusually quiet and kind of passive, letting his partner "run the show" for the first time since they knew each other. The surfer didn't exactly know what to make of this yet.

Opening the bottle of lube, he squeezed some on his index and middle fingers, massaging them together to get it a little warmer. Then, his hand found his way down, near the entrance of the other man's body. Before he did anything, he made sure, once again, that Deran was okay with what they were about to do. His left hand, which had been tracing slow circles into the young man's right hip, went back to his lover's head, his fingers splayed across the side of his face in a gentle manner.

"Deran…?" Adrian whispered again.

Just by saying his name with that soft and questioning tone, he was asking the other man if he wanted to stop or if he felt ready – or as ready as he could be – for this. Instead of answering with words, Deran lifted his head and kissed him wildly. Moaning into the man's mouth, Adrian took that opportunity to push his index finger inside his body carefully, knowing that the first time wasn't exactly all that great, but that it would get better if he took the time, especially with Deran. He felt the man beneath him still and tense, but he kept kissing him to distract him. His finger moved inside gently, trying to get him used to the feeling. Adrian's other hand left the side of his partner's head and took his soft member, gently beginning to massage it. The surfer felt the other man slowly responding, gasping softly into their kiss, and pushed his middle finger inside, as carefully as the first time. Not letting Deran time to really think about it, he kept caressing him, teasing his balls with soft, circular movement. After a few minutes, he felt his lover move his left leg, opening himself up a little more while he turned his head, allowing Adrian to kiss him along his jawline and neck.

Deran's body was starting to respond more and more to what his lover was doing to him, his hands, still around the taller man's waist, clutching him more firmly while his pelvis was moving towards the other man's in a gentle rocking motion. Interrupting his kisses and taking out his fingers, the surfer took the bottle of lube again and coated another finger with the cool substance. He heard Deran gasped when all three digits were inside his body, carefully stretching him, and another gasp when one of his fingers actually made contact with something deep inside, which made the younger man's body arched under him.

Smiling softly, Adrian let go of Deran so he could position himself better on the bed, his knees firmly placed between his lover's legs. He took out the condom and put it on his already hardening length, coating it with lube, then took the younger man's thighs between his hands and positioned himself right at his entrance. Taking himself in one hand, he pushed slightly forward, until the head was stretching the ring of muscles there, and then went down on the bed, careful not to press forward too fast and not to crush his partner under his weight. He put his left elbow and forearm next to the younger man's head so he could have some leverage while he would be moving, putting his other arm around Deran to hold him.

Deran had his eyes close and he was bitting his lip, concentrating on the new sensations, which, to be honest, weren't really fun right now. Even in this state, he knew he had to relax for it to get better, but he wasn't sure how to do that at the moment. This had been an "on the spot" decision and he wasn't regretting any of it, but he didn't exactly feel the way he'd thought he would be feeling right now, which made him insecure about the whole thing. What if he didn't like it? Would Adrian be okay with always bottoming from now on?

He winced when his lover pushed a little more inside him, feeling a slight burning sensation, even though the other man was being careful.

"You're thinking too much," whispered Adrian, wincing a little himself, but not for the same reasons as the other man; his partner's body was pretty thight around him, making it difficult to move, and the surfer was actually worried he was going to come before it had even begun.

Guessing where some of the thoughts in Deran's head were coming from, he put his forehead onto the younger man's, holding him close while he was trying to push his way forward inch by inch, at a snail's speed, making sure his lover knew it was okay to be scared and insecure, that he understood, but also making sure he knew he was loved, that someone cared for him and that he wasn't alone; that Adrian wasn't going anywhere. Soon, he began kissing him again tenderly, caressing his back, his hips and thighs, which he made sure to elevate a little to open him up further while he was halfway inside and continuing his slow, almost torturous journey into the warm body.

Deran was slowly but hopefully getting used to the feeling, realizing that he didn't need to be afraid when he was with Adrian; Adrian, who was the one person he had ever really loved, even if he hadn't been able to admit it to anybody before now, let alone himself; the one person who had stayed by his side even after everything he had put him through; the one person who had made him realize that he could be who he was without any fear.

That realization made him let go of every doubts he had and his body started to relax, letting the other man in, opening him up physically and mentally, to everything his lover had to give him. He heard himself moan and gasp when Adrian was finally all the way inside him. Their skin felt like it was on fire, sweat rolling down their bodies onto the covers of the bed.

He soon felt his partner thrusting shallowly inside him, his skin brushing against his; now, not only his skin, but his entire body felt like it was on fire, asking for more, but his mind knew, deep down, that he needed this – this deep connection –, the feeling of Adrian's hard and warm presence inside him, anchoring him to existence.

The older man seemed to sense this too, keeping his movements deliberately slow for the moment, knowing that this was special and important for the both of them, but even more so for Deran. They both moaned and gasped into their mouths, their tongues meeting, not wanting to let go of each other's lips.

Eventually, though, their bodies betrayed them and started to move faster, dancing to a song that was known only to them, Adrian's thrusts getting deeper and deeper into his lover's body and Deran arching into the touch. Their hands were everywhere, sliding through the sweat that covered their entire bodies, their hips snapping against one another in a wild rhythm that their ears couldn't hear, both lost in the moment.

At some point, Deran cried out, breaking the kiss, his head thrown back on the covers, eyes rolling back into his head, when Adrian found that little bundle of nerves inside him again and drove his hard flesh into it, lighting up every cell which composed his lover's body. The young man swore, in that moment, that he could feel every part of his being melting with Adrian's; the way their sweaty skin seemed to merge together with every thrust, the way the older man's fingertips against his hip and the side of his head seemed to make his skin sing with electrical pleasure, his own hands seeming to disappear into Adrian's back and thigh, the heavy and warm presence of his partner deep inside him, each of their heart beating in unison and their breath mingling together.

In that moment, Deran felt truly alive for the first time in… forever, it seemed, and he never wanted to feel like that with anybody else than Adrian. Though, truthfully, he didn't think anyone else could make him feel that way, at least not mentally.

After that initial discovery, everything seemed to go even faster; the surfer kept hitting that sweet spot on purpose, kissing Deran like if it was the last thing he would ever do. Adrian pushed the younger man's left hip a little further up the bed, and pressed the body beneath him into the mattress underneath them, feeling Deran's erection still trapped between their bodies, untouched. His left hand moved again to the small of his back, trying to push them even closer together. Both moaning into the kiss, their movements became erratic and, soon, they were both tumbling over the edge, crashing down, their bodies going rigid for a few seconds, their foreheads close against one another.

Deran's body relaxed first, his legs getting tired and falling open on the bed. While he was trying to get his breathing back, he felt Adrian still moving slowly inside him until the other man slipped out of him gently, his right hand now caressing the inside of his left hip with care. Soon after, the surfer put both of his hands around Deran's back and raised him into his arms tenderly to bring him up to the head of the bed so they could be more comfortable, lying on their sides.

Despite the sticky mess that was now covering both of their bodies, they stayed close against each other, Deran's head buried into Adrian's neck.

"Jesus…" the younger man whispered, still searching his breath a little.

"Nah… it's just me," said the other man quietly, smiling lazily.

Snorting, Deran gave Adrian's torso a little shove with his hand. But, a few minutes later, the older man felt the younger one shaking slightly, his shoulder beginning to get wet with the man's silent tears. Deran was clutching the surfer's body tightly, as if trying to disappear into it.

Feeling this had nothing to do with what they'd just did, or at least not regarding the act itself, Adrian just held the trembling form between his strong arms, kissing the other man with affection on the neck and shoulder.

"I'm sorry…" Deran whispered brokenly. "I'm so sorry… for everything…"

"I know," the older man said, knowing Deran wouldn't accept anything else from him. "I know. But like I told you: you don't have to keep saying you're sorry, okay? Leave that in the past, alright? I've made my peace with it; now, it's time for you to do the same."

After a few tense minutes, he felt Deran nodding and slowly relaxing against him, his grip around him getting weaker as he was clearly welcoming unconsciousness, exhausted but content. Adrian soon joined him, after getting rid of the condom, cleaning their bodies with some tissues, switching off the lamp and covering them up with the covers.

The next morning found Deran lying next to – almost on top of – Adrian, his head pillowed on his chest, near his heart, his right leg intertwining with his lover's, an expression of peace and happiness on his face. The surfer was caressing the skin between his shoulder blades and over his neck with his fingertips while his right hand was, again, exploring the small of his back under the covers, which had seemed to become one of his favorite spots on the younger man's body.

"Mmm…" Deran moaned softly, moving so his forehead was turned against Adrian's torso.

He brushed his nose gently against the skin there, before raising his head a little, his chin resting under the surfer's collarbone.

"Hey… Good morning," whispered Adrian, smiling. "You feeling okay?"

The hand that had been caressing the skin between Deran's shoulders went to brush the man's short hair, which was sticking out in different directions.

"Hum… Yeah. I just wish I could stay here like that a little longer," he said, still sleepy, putting his head back on his partner's torso, his left ear listening to the strong heartbeat underneath it. "I don't think I can even walk yet, but I have to go. Mmm… the bar…"

Right at that moment, they both heard someone knocking on the door leading to the inside of the house.

"You two lovebirds are decent?"

They heard Craig's voice on the other side before Deran's tall brother pushed open the door without waiting for an answer.

"Hey… so…" Craig said, seeing his brother's sleepy eyes watching him curiously, waiting for whatever he was going to say. "I took care of the bar last night; it didn't go up in flames or anything, so… It should be fine… and be exactly where you left it."

Deran smiled a little. "Thanks, bro."

"No problem," Craig answered before turning around to give them some privacy. But, before he closed the door, both men heard him yell:

"And for God's sake, you better wash those sheets, man!"

Deran looked back at Adrian, both laughing before kissing each other languidly.