Author's Notes:

I wrote this for three reasons. First, I wanted to write something to make myself feel good while struggling to fight a hard battle. Second, I was told by a friend to write down how I see Leni and give a great big middle finger to everyone else that outright refuses to see her the way I do. And, finally, I saw a picture by Jcm-2 that I felt deserved its own story. It was beautiful, and I still keep it near me to help me smile.

Link to picture: jcitricpache tumblr com post/157994721792/you-gave-us-leni-so-it-is-all-forgiven (You'll have to fix the link yourself, I've been trying for five minutes now, and every variation won't save.)

I'm not sure what else to say that isn't crying, so I'll end this note with my usual hope that you'll enjoy this story.

Disclaimer: The Loud House Copyright Nickelodeon (2018)

TIME, PATIENCE, AND LOVE

Leni was sitting on her chair; her forearms resting flat on her desk. Her nails bumped softly on the surface as she looked down at the cushion before her.

A fine cushion, which she'd made herself just for the occasion. It was incredibly soft and extra fluffy.

It was a pretty shade of blue; just like Lori's eyes. She'd chose the color specifically because her eyes always made her feel warm and reassured. Two feelings that she really needed at the moment.

She squinted her eyes. Her pink tongue peeked out the corner of her mouth.

Her hand reached out and picked up a cut piece of papered board.

She brought it up to her eyes, and studied it.

It had part of an eye and part of a flower on it.

She turned to look at the box, and her eyes widened.

The kitty cat was hiding underneath a bush of flowers. It's left eye was almost partially covered by white petals.

She turned back to the cushion, and she leaned forward.

Her eyes roamed over the puzzle that was lying in the center of the cushion. Its edges were perfectly squared with the frilly hem on the fabric.

She was excited; her toes bouncing nervously on the ground.

She was four fingers of the way done.

All she needed to do was finish the thumb part.

And then she would be four fingers and one thumb done!

She smiled, revealing the topmost row of her teeth.

Ok, ok... I can do this. I can totes do this. You got this, Leni.

She already had part of the kitten's body done. But the problem wasn't in knowing where the piece needed to go in relation to the tail.

She knew what kitties looked like. Duh.

The problem was that... it was hard figuring out where the piece fit with other pieces.

She sighed as she leaned back.

If she was starting from scratch... If she were looking at a blank canvas... She could close her eyes and imagine what she would want to make in her mind. She could open her eyes and picture it all before her. And she could make it.

But trying to figure out how to put already-made pieces together... with no creative solution... no room for error... it was a nightmare.

But she was going to finish it!

Lori had promised her a quart of chocolate ice cream with pieces of cookie dough in it if she finished it; and you'd better bet all your money on Leni cause she was gonna get that prize!

She wiped her brow; her hand feeling a little sticky from her sweat.

Ok, hamster, you can start spinning anytime now.

She bumped her fist on her forehead a few times as she growled.

She'd been working on this particular puzzle for a whole week now.

It was a hundred piece set. And she had felt real anxiety creeping into her tummy when Lori handed it to her.

But it wasn't just about winning a really yummy prize.

She also wanted to prove to Lori that she could do this. That she could figure out a puzzle like...

Like everyone else.

She laid the piece atop the puzzle and slid it around with a very soft, very gentle touch. She was treating this thing like it was fragile pottery.

Her cheeks were twitching, nearly shaking as she concentrated on the problem laid out before her.

She slid it around, trying it with each piece she had already solved.

She huffed.

It wasn't fitting with anything!

She set it aside and grabbed another piece.

This time it was all green and leafy looking.

She looked at the box, and a wide grin covered her cheeks. She narrowed her eyes and turned her smug expression onto the puzzle.

Only a tiny part of the puzzle had leafy green!

Ha!

She zeroed in on the location and snapped the piece in with a confident flair.

She pulled her hand back and looked at it. Her grin was growing by the second.

That was the quickest one she'd done yet!

Her legs started squirming in her joy. Her butt was wiggling on the chair.

She had to show Lori!

She picked the cushion up and pressed her hips into the back of the chair, pushing it away from the desk.

She stood up and turned toward the door. She held the puzzle close to her breast. She was beaming like the morning rays drifting through the parted curtains.

She hurried to the door, not even worrying where her feet were going.

She was gonna show Lori how far she'd made it!

Her sister was gonna smile in pride when she heard how quickly Leni had placed that last piece!

Her foot caught on the leg of the chair, and her eyes widened in sudden fear. Her lips opened to scream as she saw the floor coming at her face!

She put her hands out to catch herself; landing on her elbow and her wrists and her knees.

She cried out as she rolled onto her side, clutching her hands near her body.

She looked at her elbow with a pitiful frown.

She was covered in owies.

She touched her knees, and they were pink and tender.

She felt a tear gather in her eye as her lips trembled.

Then, her eyes hurriedly turned to that cushion.

It was upside down...

Her sore hands grabbed it and turned it right side up...

Half of her puzzle remained on the ground.

The other half was in a broken state on the cushion.

She sniffled.

Warmth filled her eyes and her nose as her breath hitched.

She picked herself up and rushed to the desk.

She grabbed her phone, fumbling with it as tears streamed down her cheeks.

She clicked on what she thought was Lori's face. But it was hard to tell because of the wetness blurring her vision.

She typed a hurried, distraught message. She hit send without even proofreading it.

She went to the dresser and grabbed a little container Lori kept just for her sister and her clumsy antics.

Sniffling again, she pulled it off the furniture and hurried back to her puzzle.

Kneeling down beside it, she opened the box and went to work.

Lori was on the phone, reclining against the couch.

She was twiddling a finger in her hair.

A goofy smile graced her cheeks as she made tender love with her boyfriend from a whole state away. Cheesy, romantic nothings that were making her chest warm and her face glow.

Her phone buzzed in her hand. "Oh, hold on, booboo bear."

She checked her text, and her gracious smile slowly fell.

Bringing the phone back up to her ear, her face was fairly sober.

"I've gotta go real quick. Yeah. Yeah, I love you, too. Bye for now."

She stood up and hurried up the stairs.

Soon she was at her door.

Closing it behind her, she turned around and felt her heart yank in her chest.

Leni had cuts and bruises on her knees and elbows.

Trails of tears had stained her cheeks.

"L-Lori..."

The older girl sighed, and walked to her sister.

Lori looked down with a frown.

Leni looked up, shrinking away like a scared mouse.

"I-I tried to fix it, but... b-but I need help..."

The younger sister cringed as she said her words.

Now Lori would never give her that prize.

Or see her as smarter than... than a... a Leni.

Lori knelt down beside her sister and looked at the puzzle.

Leni had used bandages to keep the broken sections connected together. The little sticky plasters crisscrossed all over the mess.

Lori grabbed one section and began to lift it onto the pillow...

But the bandaids fell apart, and the entire section crumbled.

Just like Leni's countenance.

Lori heard a sniffle, and then a sob.

She turned to her sister, and her frown deepened.

Leni was hugging herself tightly. Clenching her eyes shut. Fresh tears raining down her cheeks.

"I-I'm sorry, Lori..."

Lori leaned closer, putting a hand on her sister's face. Her thumb wiping away her tears.

"Why are you sorry, Leni?"

The young girl's body shook as she struggled to control her crying.

Leni turned her face toward her sister; leaned closer into the gap.

"Cause I-I..."

Lori scooted closer; their legs touching.

She stroked her sister's back.

"What's wrong, sis?"

Leni looked into Lori's eyes for a second before darting away in shame.

"I'll never be smart like I should be."

Lori's hand caressed her back in firmer strides. Her other hand grabbed her sister's, and she squeezed her shaking digits.

"What makes you say that?"

Leni sniffed; looked back at her sister. She shrugged, and waved her free hand at the broken mess on the floor; her hand too depressed to be anything but limp.

"I-I can't even do a puzzle right, L-Lori."

Her eyes bored into Lori's.

"I know you were trying to help me..."

She looked at the floor... at her failure, strung out as debris.

"...but I'll never be smart like you."

Lori's heart jerked again.

She pulled her sister closer, bringing her close to her breast.

"Leni?"

The girl quivered, hiding her watery face in her sister's chest.

"Do you remember what size my shirt is?"

She heard Leni grumble in exasperation; a sharp contrast to her previous depressing tone.

"That's right. And how do you know that?"

Leni turned her face upward, one eye free to glare at her sister.

"Lori, you know I make you your clothes. Why are you asking me this?"

Lori was rubbing her sister's arm, while her other hand held the girl to her bosom.

"I can't do that, Leni."

Leni opened her lips, but Lori cut her off. "None of us can... except you. And you had to teach yourself."

Leni pursed her lips and looked at her sister's blue tank top. The same one she'd made for her roommate a year ago.

Lori turned her eyes to her bed frame.

"Look at my bed."

She looked at the vanity.

"Look at the vanity, the mirror, and even the dresser."

Leni looked around the room, her eyes searching for each object her sister pointed out.

By this point, her tears had dried up.

"Dad is a poor handyman. Everyone knows this. And most of this stuff was made before Lana was even in school."

Lori hugged her sister tighter; her hand still rubbing soothing circles on her skin.

Leni turned back to Lori with a frown.

"Lori, why does-"

"Leni, how do you feel about math?"

Leni's eyes widened before she turned them away, to glare at the floor.

"It's hard... I don't like it."

Lori rested her chin on her pouting sister's hair.

"But you're good at it."

Leni jerked in her arms.

"...no I'm not."

Lori sighed once more before urging her sister to stand up.

Lori remained on the ground, looking at the broken pieces laying on the floor.

"It takes a lot of math to do the things you do, Leni."

She scooped up the shattered puzzle pieces, dumping handfuls onto the cushion.

"It takes a lot of work to teach yourself how to make calculations, and use algebra... especially when your teacher thinks you're too slow… unable to do basic arithmetic."

Leni shrunk away at the word "slow." She looked at her own bed.

"M-my teacher says I take too much time... b-but I..."

Lori stood up, holding the pillow in her arms.

She looked at her sister.

Leni looked back at Lori.

Lori smiled.

"You just need more time and more patience than others."

Lori placed the brilliant blue cushion on the vanity, and placed her hands on the chair.

She nodded toward the seat, and Leni trudged toward it with shallow steps.

The younger girl sat down, placing her hands in her lap. Balling them up into fists.

She remembered how excited she was to show her progress to Lori... and now she could only feel shame.

Lori didn't step away.

Her hands brushed Leni's hair across one shoulder, down her front. Her fingers traced her sister's skin before starting a gentle massage.

Leni groaned, feeling the desire to just melt in her seat. But her frustrations couldn't be persuaded away that easily.

She turned her head to gaze at her sister's hand.

"Why do you want me to do puzzles, Lori? You know how hard they are for me."

Lori didn't stop kneading Leni's stressed muscles as she leaned down to kiss her golden hair.

"Because I believe in you."

Lori continued, patiently waiting for her sister to let her body unwind.

Soon, Leni's arms were resting on the table. Her fingers picked up a piece. Whereas she only lacked one thumb... now she lacked four fingers, too. She took the piece and laid it down on the cushion.

The first step of a long journey.

Leni sighed.

"Really, Lori?"

Lori finally stopped.

She moved to her sister's side. She knelt on the carpet. She grabbed Leni's hand. She turned it over, looking at the palm.

Lori focused on the myriad tiny, almost invisible scars where Leni had taught herself... the hard way... by trial and error… with every single tool she had ever taught herself how to use to do the things she loved. Lori knew her sister was self-conscious about them. It's why Leni used so much lotion; and, unironically, always smelled so nice.

Lori brought the palm to her face, and she pressed her lips to her skin... showing her love to her sister, her scars, her failures, her struggles... everything.

Pulling her lips away, she looked into Leni's eyes.

"I've always believed in you."

Even when no one else could see the potential in you... I always could.

She released the girl's hand, and watched as Leni returned to the puzzle.

She smiled as Leni's brows furrowed and stiffened in concentration.

The occasional growl made the oldest girl chuckle.

I push you to confront your limits because I want to see you succeed.

Lori watched as her sister slowly began to develop her own system. Growing frustrated, sighing in relief, bouncing her toes on the ground as she found another perfect fit.

"Lori, look! I found that one in just a few seconds!"

Lori brushed her hair aside to kiss Leni's temple.

You are smart, Leni Loud. You are smart in your own way.

The younger sister searched through the pieces before her, letting her attention to detail and her own memories guide her hands like a methodical machine.

As the morning turned to afternoon, and Lori was starting to feel hungry, she checked on her sister once again.

Stepping over to the chair and putting her hands on Leni's shaking shoulders...

Resting her chin on Leni's hair...

She listened to her sister's sobs...

As she looked down to see a record-breaking perfectly finished job.

She wrapped her arms around Leni's shoulders and hugged her tight.

All you need is time and patience.

"I did it, L-Lori... I-I did it!"

Lori leaned down to kiss her cheek.

"Yes, you did."

She helped her sister up from the chair, and she grinned as Leni leaped into the air with her hands reaching for the stars. Tears running down her face as she laughed and cried and laughed some more.

Time and Patience...

"Come on, let's get you some ice cream. You've earned it."

And love.