I can't believe I never uploaded this here! I mean, mostly out of shame, but this fic does make me giggle stupidly as I write it. Also sorry for the lack of updating on all my fics. Uni, mental health etc etc.

I don't even know how to explain this. Ever start writing something for a laugh then get weirdly invested in the characters and their backstory?

Also I fucking love Shiro x Coran ironically fite me.

Also, should I add smut? Even if I don't, warning for adult humour.

He was doing this ironically, Shiro told himself.

He'd made one damn joke to Matt and in the one hour he'd set aside to take a nap, had been inundated with… websites. Websites he hadn't even known existed, let alone been aware of how abundant they were. Thanks, Matt. He was now a little less innocent. And had a little less faith in humanity.

In all honesty, Shiro should probably just message Matt back telling him to fuck off and get back to his assignment. Or do a late night food shop. Or do literally anything that wasn't browsing sugar daddy websites. But his body was on autopilot and he probably couldn't stop himself if he tried.

He didn't actually want a sugar daddy, right? It had been a joke! He'd just wanted to vent his frustrations at having yet another asshole treat him like an intruding bug at work because God dammit it wasn't his fault if a meal wasn't up to the customers' standards, or was taking too long. Did he look like some verbal punching bag or something?

Also he was doing his masters degree now, and accumulating more debt than he knew what to do with. He wasn't sure he could pole dance with one arm either.

Could he actually get a sugar daddy to agree to pay off his tuition fees? Or at the very least his maintenance loans and groceries.

No because he wasn't actually after a sugar daddy!

Most of these websites only accepted female sugar babies anyway. He did find a few that he could join, but for the love of all things good in the world he wasn't about to for real.

Shiro leaned back in his desk chair, imagining, just for a moment, what it would be like to have a sugar daddy. Horrible. It would be utterly horrible. The image of him wheeling some 90 year old around Abercrombie and Fitch then having lunch at some overpriced boutique restaurant whilst everyone glared at him judgementally because they would all know what the fuck was up was not a pleasant one. And then they'd go back to his penthouse apartment overlooking the Thames and-

Shiro thought he would throw up.

This was a terrible idea.

Thankfully, his phone beeped and gave him an opportunity to think of something else for a second, even if it was his best friend's lazy ass messaging him on discord from the next room.

DankMattMatt: Yo you check out those links yet?

Shiro scowled at his screen.

DankMattMatt: Reply, coward.

Shiro decided to not do that. Five minutes of staring at the login screen of one of those websites he was not going to join later, and Matt had something else to say.

DankMattMatt: oh MY GOD ARE YOU SIGNING UP TO THEM?

Shirohfuck: nOOOOOOO

DankMattMatt: you aRE!

He wasn't! He swore it!

Shirohfuck: Yes but ironically?

DankMattMatt: ironic sugar daddy?

Shirohfuck: yeh

DankMattMatt: moronic sugar baby

Shirohfuck: No.

Shirohfuck: I can't think of a good username?

Unsurprisingly, his mind was devoid of any intelligent thought as he told himself over and over again he was mostly curious about what the website looked like once you were set up on it, how it worked and what sort of questions he would be asked.

And maybe to see if there were some guys on there that didn't look one shag away from a heart attack.

DankMattMatt: hmm

DankMattMatt: How about Takashi_Shirogains

DankMattMatt: because you're always at the gym working on your gains?

Shiro snorted. The last person who should be talking about gains was Matthew Holt.

Shirohfuck: that's the worst thing I've ever heard

Shirohfuck: I love it!

Shirohfuck: I'm not always at the gym though? Just when I need to de-stress.

DankMattMatt: So all the time?

Fuck you, Matt.

Shiro ignored him and typed in his new, terrible, username. It didn't matter, really. He was just here to have a look around, and see just what kind of people signed up to this and what kind of messages he'd get.

He was a man of science, and therefore curiosity only came naturally to him.

DankMattMatt: oooh, I got it!

DankMattMatt: fifty-shades-of-shirogrey

Shirohfuck: NO!

The next page seemed to relate to the bulk of his profile, either what people could see or what the site would base his matches on. He didn't fucking know. It also looked longer than some of his assignments.

Shirohfuck: holy fuck that's a lotta questions

DankMattMatt: bring your laptop out here dude I need to see this

Shiro sighed, scooped up his laptop and downed the last of his beer. The idea of signing up to a dating site for a laugh with Matt didn't seem so bad. He'd probably liveblog it which technically counted as writing down their findings, and therefore it was an experiment, not anything else. For science!

When he trudged into the living room of their flat he found Matt still working on his drinks cans Christmas tree, a weird tradition they'd had since they'd been freshers, because Matt saw someone do it on the internet and therefore needed to try it himself, the walking meme.

Oh well, saved on buying an actual Christmas tree.

Shiro wondered whether they'd bother buying real decorations this year or, like always, just balance Matt's pokemon toys and alien waifu figurines on it again. Probably the latter. Who said a Japanese guy and a weeb couldn't be best friends?

Whilst Matt was occupied with sellotaping energy drinks and beer cans together, their other flatmate, Sabhajit 'Slav' Pawar was typing away at a laptop, probably doing something more productive than signing up to - thanks, Matt.

"Oy, sugar pup," Matt drawled, pulling tape out of his hair, "while you're up, grab that bottle of Absolute in the cupboard and two shot glasses – wait, Slav?"

"Wot?"

"Wanna watch Shiro sign up to a sugar daddy finder?"

Slav raised an eyebrow at Shiro, who flushed an ugly shade of maroon and buried his face in the kitchen cupboard.

"You know that there's a 38% chance this is the reality where I fail to hand in my assessment on time?" He did seem to be looking over with interest though.

"Those are pretty good odds," Matt reasoned, "and besides, how often do you get to see Shiro try and pull creepy old men?"

"Oh, next to zero." Slav nodded, but he still looked unsure. Matt groaned.

"Just bring your work over here. And Shiro? Make that three shot glasses."

"I'll definitely be needing it," Shiro placed the vodka on the coffee table, sweeping empty cans onto the floor and ignoring Matt's protesting.

"So, if it works out for you, should we all think about signing up?" asked Slav, settling down on Shiro's other side, just to make sure he was sandwiched between the two terrible enablers.

"You're dating my brother," Shiro reminded him, "you're not allowed."

"Well I'm gonna," said Matt, "unless, you know, it doesn't work out for you Shiro. Our pioneer. Boldly going where no Holt or Pawar has gone before. Or at least I hope my sister has never been on these sites."

"Thanks," Shiro scoffed, then his smile fell; "I kinda feel bad, you know? I don't wanna catfish people."

"You're not catfishing anyone," exclaimed Matt, "we're literally filling in your profile honestly!"

Shiro chewed his lip. "But what if someone sees my profile and falls in love with me? And I'm just doing it for a laugh."

Matt rolled his eyes. "Yeah I don't think it's that kind of website. Slav?"

"Yeah?"

"What's the chance of Shiro meeting his soulmate on here?"

"Zero point five percent."

Matt grinned. "See? Now, what profile picture should you use?"

They soon decided a selfie Shiro took on a lads holiday to Ibiza last year really fit the bill, given that he was shirtless and at the beach. It screamed 'I suit luxury, please pamper me'.

"Don't worry," Matt assured him, "you're the best-looking guy I've seen. Ever."

"And with this picture showing off how strong you are," added Slav, "there is an 80% chance you'll find a millionaire willing to date you within seconds."

Shiro wasn't so sure. "Guys, d'you think a picture without my prosthetic would be better? What if it puts people off?" That being said, why the fuck did he care?

"Shiro," Matt placed a hand on either side of his face, "I'm gonna be honest with you: if someone has a problem with your prosthetic, they're not worth your time. Like, even if they're millionaires, don't bother. They're scum and you don't need them in your life."

Shiro stared straight into Matt's eyes, at his steely determination, and nodded. "You're right, bro."

"I know I'm right! And besides," added Matt with a wink, "there are probably people into prosthetic limbs. Like, I bet there's websites and everything."

How in the fuck – Shiro was speechless. He wasn't sure he wanted to know further.

"Well that's a load of shit," he mumbled, turning back to his profile.

"I'm fairly certain it's what Slav has," commented Matt.

"I just think his arm is cool!" Slav cried, a little too defensively. Shiro wondered if he was qualified to launch himself into space yet.

"Whatever," he grumbled, "I'll just keep the picture." He still had a lot of bullshit questions to get through before he could start nosing at other people's profiles.

"What's next?" asked Matt.

"Age, location, simple enough." Financial information? He chuckled at that. "Where's the 'broke as shit' option?"

"Just pick the lowest bracket I guess," offered Matt. "Minimal, yeah that sounds about right. Hmm, build?"

"Is there a 'sculpted' option?" asked Slav. Shiro snorted.

"Athletic, buddy." He clicked the box, hoping the profile pic suggested as such; he'd been on some strong cocktails and doner kebabs for the entire week. "I need a heading, apparently, like a title?"

"Space daddy," said Matt immediately.

"I'm looking for a daddy, genius," Shiro's face fell; "I don't actually have to call them 'daddy', do I?" A couple of his exes had taken to calling him that and he'd soon acquired a slight distaste for the word.

"Space puppy?"

"Why do you keep calling me that? Pup?"

Matt scoffed. "Don't you even know sugar bowl terms? A sugar pup is a male sugar baby. So you, now."

"I wouldn't call myself one yet," Shiro groaned, "the profile's not complete. There's still an opportunity for me to pull out."

"Oh I think there'll be a few opportunities for you to pull out," Matt commented, then, when Shiro groaned and cradled his face in his hands, slung an arm over his shoulder, "you kinda walked into that one, buddy."

"I know and I hate it."

The three soon decided 'lost space boy' was probably a better header.

"Hey you can add more photos," Slav commented.

"Nice, I guess." And so Shiro wasted another five minutes trying to decide which photos made him look the most athletic, and handsome. He wanted a wide range of messages, after all, to collect the best data. Science!

"I don't have children," he said aloud when they reached the next page, "unless we count you too."

"Please don't," whined Matt, "we've both hit on you – that's weird!"

"Now you know how I've felt for the past half hour."

"Smoke?"

"Nah."

"Drink?"

"Yes please." Shiro took another shot before checking the 'casual drinker' box. Matt and Slav just judged him silently. Shiro ignored them, filling in his education level instead.

"Oh, an 'about me'. How fun." Shiro never knew how to fill out those damned things, but with the help of his two terrible friends, he managed to cobble together a not-totally-terrible description of himself.

Hi, I'm Takashi Shirogane, and I'm a 25 (well, 6 if you only count leap years) y/o postgrad student studying astrophysics. I'd love to become an astronaut one day, or failing that help launch astronauts into the void.

In my spare time, I can usually be found at the gym, or exploring the city. I'm particularly fond of the science museum! I'm a hard worker, and my idea of fun is a well-earned rest, or reading a good book. I like my alone time, but I also value strong friendships with my wonderful bros. So even if we don't hit it off romantically, we can always maintain a friendship!

And now to tell the potentials what he was actually looking for in them.

"Money," said Matt firmly.

"You can't put that," argued Slav, "you have to beat around the bush!"

"I know, damn."

Shiro ignored them, wondering just what he'd want if he was being serious about this, and began to type.

What I'm looking for is someone to have deep conversations with, someone who will make me feel special and cared for. I don't want a walking credit card, but someone I can have a fun, adult relationship with. Someone with similar interests would be a bonus too! Not looking for short term or FWB, sorry.

"Not bad," Matt gave a whistle as Shiro added a few tags, and that was it. Profile complete.

"Well now what?" asked Slav after ten seconds of silence.

"We wait for the daddies to roll in, duh," Matt rolled his eyes, though Shiro had to wonder how long that would take.

"Oh wait," he muttered, leaning closer, "my profile hasn't been activated yet. They have to check all my information, I guess." And with that thought in mind, the trio dispersed. Shiro made his way into the kitchen, Matt promising to call him if he got any messages, and threw a prawn tikka masala in the microwave. Slav was finally released from his curiosity hostage situation long enough to continue his assessment.

Dinner made – at 1 in the morning – Shiro settled down to have a browse whilst he waited. Apparently, he could make a Wishlist of things he wanted to be bought, but decided against it, much to Matt's protesting that he needed a new laptop. Shiro told him to go back to his Christmas tree of disappointment.

A two hour nap later, and Shiro had ten messages.

The first message was asking for nudes. The second wanted pictures of his feet, of all things. Shiro decided not to reply to either.

Shiro, Matt and Slav amused themselves by taking turns to do dramatic readings of increasingly creepy messages until they were blushing up to the ears. This continued with each new message, until they got to one that wasn't as awful. Thankfully.

CoranCoranGorgeousMan: I'm attracted to you like the Earth is attracted to the Sun-with a large force inversely proportional to the distance squared

CoranCoranGorgeousMan: I'm also a fan of your muscles!

CoranCoranGorgeousMan: I don't know why I said that

CoranCoranGorgeousMan: both those things, really!

CoranCoranGorgeousMan: I'm so sorry!

"Fuck that's actually sweet," Matt commented.

"Yeah, he seems nice! Or shy, at least." At last, someone he would actually like to message back.

"Might want to tell him you're not mad then," said Slav, "before he completely has a breakdown."

"Oh, right."

Takashi_Shirogains: Hey dude don't worry!

Takashi_Shirogains: Honestly this is the sweetest message I've gotten yet?

"Should I send him a silly chat up line back?" he asked.

"Go for it!"

Takashi_Shirogains: Every time i look at you i feel like an astronaut...your beauty makes me float.

CoranCoranGorgeousMan: ! aww!

"I should probably check what he looks like," Shiro commented, hurriedly clicking on this strange man's profile. Hopefully this guy wasn't a munter, or old as fuck. There had been a tiny profile pic, yes, but hardly visible, just an orange blur. Like Garfield's pubes or something.

Now he could see quite the collection of photos.

"That's… that's a pretty big moustache," Matt noted.

It was. It nearly covered his mouth, bright ginger to match his hair. There were two other things Shiro noted immediately, the first one being his love of brightly-coloured shirts – sequins, swirls, the lot. The second one was that his smile: no matter what picture he was in, he always had the goofiest but kindest smile Shiro had ever seen. It certainly put him at ease.

"Could you fucking imagine that thing tickling your balls," exclaimed Matt, still on the moustache, apparently.

Slav gave a whine. "Matt, please!"

"Oh yeah! I'm sure your boyfriend knows all about that."

Shiro mimed throwing up whilst Slav scratched at his patchy beard and moustache. "That's my actual brother you're talking about!"

"45 years old," Matt commented, ignoring them, "could be worse."

"Yeah at least he's not 70," agreed Shiro. He wasn't that bad looking either. Yes, the moustache was ridiculous and he was somewhat older, but there was something charming about him, charmingly handsome, even. He looked like he'd be equally able to provide a good joke and the exact comforting comment you needed to hear.

"Even his name is eccentric," said Slav, "Coran Hieronymus Wimbleton Smythe. Who has four names? Especially ones like those."

"I've never met a 'Coran' in my life," Matt added, "didn't even know it was a name; thought it was a book, to be honest. Then again, if my parents named me that I'd probably end up being a little eccentric."

Shiro just stared at the photos. Everything about this man was batcrap insane and, for some reason, he absolutely loved it. Maybe he just gravitated towards weirdos, but he wasn't complaining.

"Dude he's fucking loaded!" cried Matt, jostling his shoulder and pointing at Coran's earnings, or what he claimed were his earnings. Shiro tore his eyes away from Coran and his garish shirts to actually study his profile.

Okay, he was a casual drinker too, interested in men, didn't smoke. Under number of children he'd put 'prefer not to say'. Shiro wondered what that meant. Did he have like ten?

"Woah, he's a CEO of his own company," he commented, "congratulations to him, I guess."

Matt looked at him curiously. "A little infatuated, are we?"

"He seems nice," Shiro reasoned.

"Yes but what has he put about himself?" asked Slav, scrolling down.

Matt snorted. "So what's the probability of this guy being a serial killer?"

"Five percent."

"I'd risk it. For that money."

"Did either of you see he was a widower?" asked Shiro with a pang. Poor guy. How did he even bring that up in conversation? Well, not right now, for starters.

"What if he murdered his husband?" asked Matt. Slav looked at him in horror.

"You can't say that! That's horrible!"

"It might be true!"

"It's highly unlikely!"

Shiro just busied himself with reading Coran's profile and holy fuck did it confirm the man was the strangest human being on the planet.

Erm, hello there, weary internet traveller! I, Coran Hieronymus Wimbleton Smythe, would like to welcome you to my dating page! I hope you find out what you need to know here, but to help, let me tell you a little about myself. I must say, it is quite the saga! I shall try not to tell every story here though, or we'll have nothing to talk about ourselves!

Forty five years ago, on quite the historic day, I was born in Wellington, New Zealand, with a dream. Although, I probably didn't have this dream as a baby, I probably dreamt about shitting myself and drinking milk. Anyway! The dream was education! As a boy, I was fascinated by the world around me, and beyond. My interests were varied, but all relating to science. Then again, I suppose everything relates to science, in a way. I kept a collection of crystals and interesting rocks, whilst simultaneously looking to the stars with my little telescope. I also had a collection of fossils I'd found, and it was safe to say my parents were probably a little relieved when I packed my bags and went off to university!

It was there that I studied astrophysics whilst maintaining a love of drama and the arts, naturally. In my time I've travelled to the US to work with NASA before settling down in the UK, where I remain to this day. Not counting holidays and business trips, I suppose.

I am now the CEO of New Horizons, a company that makes science kits and equipment for the curious child!

It has not been an easy climb to the top, and I've had to deal with everything up to fighting a bear! Yeah, I don't live in the US anymore for a reason. I also had some trouble with a shark on holiday to Australia once and it didn't end well. For the fucking shark! Shame, really, I hate hurting animals but you must do what you must in the name of self-defence, right?

I would say I was closest to my grandfather as a boy, and he taught me all he knew about geology! And everything, really.

As well as science, my hobbies include museums, watching plays, writing screenplays, water skiing, butterfly collecting, yodelling, flying, engineering and dance. I also love spending time at the beach!

I speak various dialects of English, as well as Māori, French and Mandarin, and apparently, I can do quite a convincing range of accents! I also love learning new languages, so if you speak a language I do not, never fret! I will soon learn it for you, my future dear!

I'll also just say it right fucking now: I will drink you under the table!

My favourite colour is baby blue and my favourite films are 'what we do in the shadows' and 'hunt for the wilderpeople'. I listen to anything really, though I prefer classical and jazz. I have heard some of your young people music, though, and I must say I'm fucking impressed!

Oh fuck, it seems I'm running out of characters. Well, I hope that was enough to glean something of my personality.

Cheerio!

"I love him," Matt muttered, "like, I wish he was my uncle or something. Or even just a guy I could go on the piss with. I'd probably end up dead but it'd still be the best night of my life!"

"I want to listen to all these stories of his," said Slav, "he's probably a genius!"

"Not as big a genius as you though," said Matt, "is there anything you don't know?"

"How to be emotionally stable?"

"Dude, same."

"I'm speechless," muttered Shiro, silencing them both. This couldn't be a real person, surely. His mind seemed incapable of working after reading about Coran's life, and yet, he was pretty sure he'd be willing to believe it all.

Also, pray tell, what the fuck Coran?

"What does he want though?" asked Slav, "what is he looking for in a person?"

"Himself, probably," Matt smirked. Shiro ignored him, and read on.

I suppose what I want in a romantic partner is romance, plain and simple - a deep bond and something long term. If that sounds intimidating, I'm sorry and I hope you find someone more to your tastes!

I can be incredibly doting, I promise, but I guess I also want long conversations about science and our lives too. I also would like someone not opposed to more cultural days out, though I'm open to fun of a more simplistic nature too!

"He means fucking," said Matt.

Shiro rolled his eyes. "Or going to a club, maybe?"

I'm also partial to discussions regarding conspiracy theories, and am always interested to know which ones you believe, and which you find completely ridiculous. If you have any experiences with aliens, I'd love to hear all about them too!

"Shiro, run. He's probably part of a cult." Matt's jaw had almost hit the floor by now.

"I think he sounds interesting," Slav sniffed. He, for one, loved a good conspiracy theory, and was certain this was the reality where alien invasion was inevitable.

I don't want to dwell on the physical, but I do have a thing for muscles!

"He's your soulmate," said Matt with such determination that Shiro couldn't tell if he was joking or not.

"He is brilliant," he reasoned.

"Why don't you message him back then?" asked Slav.

Fuck. He'd forgotten about that little message notification.

CoranCoranGorgeousMan: You still there?

CoranCoranGorgeousMan: I haven't scared you off, have it?

CoranCoranGorgeousMan: Ooops, in that case I'm sorry!

"I'd have messaged him quicker if his profile wasn't so damn long. And terrifying."

Takashi_Shirogains: No no! I was just reading your profile!

Takashi_Shirogains: Interesting life!

CoranCoranGorgeousMan: Why thank you! All true, I can assure you!

Takashi_Shirogains: good to know!

CoranCoranGorgeousMan: nice to meet another scientist, may I add!

Takashi_Shirogains: same!

Takashi_Shirogains: nice to meet someone who doesn't want dick pics

CoranCoranGorgeousMan: Now I never said I didn't

CoranCoranGorgeousMan: I'm joking!

Takashi_Shirogains: good to know omg

"He's not joking," Matt insisted.

"Shut up."

Takashi_Shirogains: so what brings you to the sugar bowl?

Takashi_Shirogains: I mean I signed up for a laugh but you seem nice so?

"I had to be honest about that," he explained, "I'm not catfishing this sweet old man!"

It was imminently clear from Matt's face that Shiro had said something dumb as fuck. "Okay, firstly, you've used all your correct information, so it's not catfishing, still, and secondly, maybe he's catfishing you. Also he's on a website in the hopes of basically paying people to date him."

Shiro gave a pout. Although he hated to admit it, Matt had a point.

CoranCoranGorgeousMan: Sugar what?

Takashi_Shirogains: sugar bowl

Takashi_Shirogains: you know, what this whole scene is called, apparently. Idk that's what my roommate said anyway

CoranCoranGorgeousMan: scene?

CoranCoranGorgeousMan: like, online dating? I've never done this before, I have to admit.

Matt snorted. "He's either senile or majorly taking the piss."

Or both, Shiro supposed.

Takashi_Shirogains: …

Takashi_Shirogains: like… sugar daddies and sugar babies? This is what this website is for? it's not my kink but i'm not judging?

CoranCoranGorgeousMan: hold on I need to google some things.

It took a full minute to receive Coran's reply.

CoranCoranGorgeousMan: …

CoranCoranGorgeousMan: ..,

CoranCoranGorgeousMan: my

CoranCoranGorgeousMan: my son said this was a website for successful people

CoranCoranGorgeousMan: I was wondering why no one I matched with seemed to be in the same bracket financially

CoranCoranGorgeousMan: not that I have a problem with that! It just confused me

CoranCoranGorgeousMan: Takashi?

Shiro wanted to reply, but Matt was buried in his chest, laughing with tears streaming down his face. Slav was on the floor, and Shiro wasn't sure he'd ever seen the guy laugh so hard. He himself was certain he'd have a ten-pack by the time he'd stopped laughing.

Takashi_Shirogains: OH MY GOD

Takashi_Shirogains: you poor man!

Takashi_Shirogains: are you oka y?

Takashi_Shirogains: Also call me Shiro everyone else does

CoranCoranGorgeousMan: I'm so embarrassed!

CoranCoranGorgeousMan: I asked my son and he fessed up but he won't stop laughing!

CoranCoranGorgeousMan: This is almost as bad as the time he added gimp masks to my shopping list and I actually asked the guy at tesco if they sold them because I didn't know what a gimp mask was.

Takashi_Shirogains: how in the fu

Takashi_Shirogains: ck

Takashi_Shirogains: holy shit

CoranCoranGorgeousMan: yeah, that sums it up pretty nicely, Shiro

"So… how do you feel about being a stepdad?" asked Slav, "your sugar daddy might not be a sugar daddy but he's at least a dad?"

"Fuck, he has a kid." Shiro blew his tuft of hair out of his face, sinking back into the chair. He honestly didn't know what to make of that information.

Takashi_Shirogains: so you have a son?

CoranCoranGorgeousMan: I have 3 kids

Takashi_Shirogains: holy fuck

CoranCoranGorgeousMan: yaa I didn't want to put it on my profile because it might attract creeps

CoranCoranGorgeousMan: sorry if that puts you off but I should mention my kids will always come first?

Takashi_Shirogains: yeah no I understand! It just came as a little shock but I don't mind!

He wasn't sure he didn't mind, but that would be something he'd have to think about later.

Takashi_Shirogains: how old are they?

CoranCoranGorgeousMan: a little younger than you actually. My oldest just started uni!

"At least you're not gonna be a toyboy who's younger than his own kids," Matt reasoned.

"Never call me that again."

Takashi_Shirogains: so you don't need me to babysit?

CoranCoranGorgeousMan: haha no!

CoranCoranGorgeousMan: oh, you weren't expecting an actual sugar father, were you?

CoranCoranGorgeousMan: sorry to disappoint you

CoranCoranGorgeousMan: although I could try that if you want?

Takashi_Shirogains: no it's fine! Like I said, I signed up for a laugh. Uni life got me broke and all

Takashi_Shirogains: also it's sugar daddy omg

Shiro didn't know what happened, but somehow he ended up talking to Coran throughout the night, eventually passing out on the sofa long after Matt and Slav had dragged themselves to bed. They talked about themselves, their lives and Coran's children, and when Shiro woke up the next afternoon, he felt strangely giddy and lightheaded. He'd signed up ironically; what the hell happened?